#2950 McBee Dynasty S02E05: Ozarks Brother Where Art Thou?

0:00Hey guys, it's Paige from Giggly Squad. Okay, can we all agree that hosting is so much fun? And I really do love it. Every weekend, it's come over for snacks, let's make dinner together, and somehow the second you put out a fruit platter, it seems that bugs show up before your friends do. This is why I have to have my Zivo flying insect trap. You plug it in and you let it do all the work. It's specially designed blue and UV light attracts the bugs you didn't know you had and wow did we have a lot like house flies fruit flies gnats and then with zivo bam next thing you know the pests are caught in the sticky cartridge and away from your yummy treats without any mess or strong odors the best part is the design is actually sleek and curved so it hides the bugs it catches keeping them out of sight and when the cartridge is full you just grab the no mess tab throw it in the trash pop in a new cartridge and then you're done no mess no stress So whether you're hosting a dinner party or spending an afternoon baking treats with all your friends, and you want to focus on hosting and not constantly swatting at bugs, Zivo has you covered with 24-7 bug protection.

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2:07Ben Mandelker: Hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today is the one and only King of the Ozarks, Ronnie Karam. Hi, Ronnie. Oh my god, the Ozarks. I'm so glad the McBee Dynasty took us to the Ozarks. I mean, we don't get to see that often. Have you ever been? Nope, never been. I watched the show, Ozarks. But they didn't, you know, I feel like, I always heard we didn't get like the real side of the Ozarks. You know, they had like that kind of white trash family from the Ozarks. It was the main characters, blonde girl.

2:47But they showed it in kind of a bad light, I guess. but then they also show a different side of it. I don't know. It was cool to see a reality version where everyone was just making out in pools and, you know, there's like dirt or dirt motorbikes or whatever the hell those things are in the, in the circle cage, race each other or men go to be men.

3:06Ben Mandelker: Yeah. I don't know much about the Ozarks. All I knew about the Ozarks was just that there's casinos and it's where a lot of performers go like the Osmonds or Wayne Newton and stuff like that. so I really didn't know what the vibe of the I had a vibe of it being actually more wholesome that's what I guess because it's like the whole Wayne Newton of it all I thought it was a place that was like like you go and I don't know it's like a weird super Christian happy nice I mean it is still seems super Christian but like in a different it didn't seem like as I didn't think of it as a bike as as biker-y and as cowboy-y as the show depicted it and so I was surprised I thought it was more like Donny Osmond I saw his poster all over Vegas.

3:51Has he always looked like Rosie O'Donnell 20 years ago?

3:56Ben Mandelker: I think he's aged into that. I think he's aged into that look a little bit. He's really grown. He's really worked towards that Rosie O'Donnell ideal. You know? He really has. Well, if you guys want to watch this recap on video, you do that at Crappens On Demand. If you don't want to do the Patreon thing, that's fine. You can get them a week later over on our YouTube. which just search Watch What Crappens on YouTube. We'll pop right up. Also, our bonus episodes are on Patreon. This week, we talked about our trip to Vegas, where I went to Beyonce, and we both went to Backstreet Boys, and Ben got fucked over by Delta Airlines.

4:31Boo.

4:32Ben Mandelker: Fucking Delta. And kind of the Cosmopolitan, too, a little bit. And the Mandalay Bay. All of you suck it. And the Mandalay Bay. All of you suck. And the Henry. Let's just call out the Henry and the Cosmopolitan. Thanks for making me wait 25 minutes. We have five tables sitting right in front of me blatantly, and I had to stand there because I don't know why. I guess no pilots, no waiters on Saturday in America. But you know who doesn't get our boo? Beyonce. Beyonce. For the Backstreet Boys. So thank you. Those were great. So here we are, McBee Dynasty Season 2, Episode 5, Hurricane Kala. Why is it called Hurricane Kala and not Hurricane Cole?

5:10Yeah, I don't understand that. That's some bullshit now. Now, I'm not saying Kala is like some perfect little thing who never does anything wrong, but Cole is a fucking monster and a terrorist. He's an emotional terrorist. Why are you not calling out Cole in this episode?

5:26Ben Mandelker: You know what hurricanes do? They give a thrashing over the sea and they come and they make landfall and they give thrashing to the land. You know what Cole did? He punched a hill. He's the hurricane here. He's a hill puncher. He's a hill puncher. Well, last time on McBee Dynasty, a new little cowgirls headed to the farm, and everyone was over the moon about it, except for the viewing audience who had to watch a gender reveal with a helicopter and baby powder that was painted pink and blue.

6:01But that man, what man is ready to be daddy? Boys will be boys, am I right?

6:11Ben Mandelker: So, also, Kala and Stephen were also looking for apartments for her. And Cal is giving up a lot for Stephen. She gave up all the nothing she was doing. So she's hoping to help out with her new apartment down there in Dallas. She wants some help with all the nothing she does. I'm going to say it one more time just to emphasize. She does nothing. She's a little slow. None of us like her. Well, the family's going over to the Ozarks to relieve some old memories. Will Calicoast destruction? Or will Colby and asshole will all find a way to blame all the misbehavior on a woman? Let's find out on the McBee Dynasty.

6:54Wheat nipples. Wheat nipples. Nipple gardens. No.

7:01Ben Mandelker: Dribbledore. Dribbledore. Dribbledore is also the name of the one professor who lives in town. Dribbledore. Yep. Um, so Kala is like, well, maybe I'll go to the Ozarks with you. But if anyone's shitty to me, I'm leaving. I'm telling you right now, Steven. So we open with cowboy, cowgirl. Come on. We're going to ride moving on through the city. Yeah, we bring in the vibes. So Steven's packing his bags. Everyone's getting ready to go to the Ozarks. And we go to Cole and Casey's house. and Cole is also packing and Casey's going through old luggage and stuff and Cole's dropping things in piles and he's like mumbling about t-shirts and he's like, okay, we got four t-shirts, count them out.

7:53Ben Mandelker: Okay, one, two, three, four. Okay, I need to lay it up, visualize it, make sure I have everything. Do I have enough Bass Country Store t-shirts to go for the entire weekend? I need to make sure we have enough. What's the name of that store? Bass Country Store. Do I have any Cracker Barrel t-shirts? Do I have enough branded Cracker Barrel t-shirts? for the entire weekend. Tell me, come on. Do I have any more law and order? Do I have any more shirts from the law and order store? And Casey's like, well, you already got some socks in here. What's this, a flask? Is this a flask? And he's like, yeah, I got that left in there from my last vacay where I didn't do nothing wrong.

8:30Why didn't you do nothing wrong? Why is everybody blaming me for stuff? I'm a good person. So we go over to Jesse and Allie's city house and they're getting in the car with Tegan and Jake to go to the Ozarks.

8:43Ben Mandelker: They have to climb over all of her Manolo Blahniks because it's such a city house. There's so many fashions in there. The jazz players and the LeFoyer. God, that city house. So sophisticated. There's like a cow outside reading a newspaper. Because it's the city! It's a cow watching Annie Hall. Look at that city cow. The cow's like, don't approve of what his actions, but his art speaks for itself. Am I right? Am I the only one? Is anyone going to the Angelica Hay Center? No? No.

9:21So, um, Teagan is new to us, I think, right? We've never seen her. That's Jake's, you know, Jake's the farmhand, doesn't say much, just in the back and kind of mumbles. And Teagan's the girlfriend. And she's like, you said shotgun, Jake. And Jake isn't. Jake's going to stay back there. And Jesse's like, yeah, keep him up front with you. I don't want to deal with him.

9:40Ben Mandelker: What'd you say? He will be sitting on a shotgun, though. Yeah, of course I'm sitting on a shotgun. What the fuck? Unless I got a horse to sit on. What else am I going to sit on back here? I need some power going against my cornhole for this whole trip. Of course, I'm sitting on the fucking barrel of a shotgun. What else do you do with it? So, Jake's like, you want to go by the bar? Jesse's like, what bar? Any bar. We're going to pass a lot of them. We're going to pass a lot of bars. We're going to the Ozarks. We can go to any kind of bar. Big bar, little bar, big size bar. What about a gay bar?

10:13Ben Mandelker: Absolutely not. We'll burn that one down. Remember, we just keep setting up gay bars every once in a while just so we can put them up and then go in there and have people beat up. It's pretty good. They catch on eventually once in a while. Goddamn Mary's. All right, but there are lots of bars. We're on the way to the Ozarks. I was thinking we can go to referendum and referendum and amendment.

10:38Ben Mandelker: oh yeah well make sure you get a nice seat before you go in there at liberty and liberty and state so that way look real clean when you go there all right boys put on your seat belts democrat democrat the lady from below deck just passing them on the street democrats it was a real big red state moment for bravo last night that's for sure by the way speaking of seatbelts I just want to make a general comment fucking Cole McBee wear your seatbelt properly did you see how he's wearing a seatbelt he's driving the car and he has a seatbelt like under his arm like he's one of those people that's like I ain't gonna wear a seatbelt the way they tell me to because I know it's better than this Cole so what he puts it behind him he puts it he puts the strap that's above like under his arm so it's like he just has nothing here he's like I need my left shoulder to be I'm into my right shoulder my left shoulder to be free I need to be free I don't need no Democrat to tell me how to put my seatbelt on cut to rest in peace to Cole McBee who is ejected from his pickup truck after he crashed stupid Cole into a gay bar that his brothers then caught started calling a cold bar and started laughing so Jesse explains the Ozarks to us He's like, for us Midwest folk, the Ozarks is like our vacation because that's what you do during the summer.

12:05And we used to go down there and we'd go there in the summer because that's what you do in the summer. Go on vacation with your family. So, yeah, the Ozarks like where most of my memories is as a kid with my family in the summer because that's what you do with your family in the summer.

12:25Ben Mandelker: doesn't trust you to say yeah it's just one of these great inclusive places something like that you know we take light white people mid white people all sorts of brown hair people with dyed hair all sorts of different tattoos all sorts so we see them enjoying their childhood times in the Ozarks I'm assuming it means all inclusive like all the PBRs you can drink or something? I think maybe that's what he meant, but he was like, it's just, it's an inclusive place. I mean, nothing's saying that the Ozarks aren't inclusive. It's just, it's... Except the video footage that we see. Except for the video footage of all white people.

13:07Ben Mandelker: The whitest of the white. It's literally like you can see it from space. It's like, look at that blazing bright cloud. No, that's the Ozarks down there. So let's go to another residence that Stephen's mother is probably paying for. a Stephen Jr.'s Kansas City condo. So Calla comes and they're getting luggage into the car and he brings out his guitar. She's like, wow, bringing out the old guitar, huh? He's like, yeah, I play guitar. That is what I play. All right, Calla? So you are the most pessimistic person I have ever met about my guitar.

13:44So they get the guitar in there and she's like, okay. And he goes, oh my God, is there any room in this trunk? What am I supposed to do? about this trunk, Kala. And she's like, yeah, I forgot to clean out the car.

13:55Ben Mandelker: So... Do you mind co-signing with me on a box that I can put everything in? You co-sign on someone to clean my car. We own car washes, Kala. Geez. Well, now that the first day of harvest is finished, this is my one chance to get away and have a little fun. Are you going to have fun? Are you capable of that? He's so intense and he's such a handsome guy. But whenever he gets a little angry, his dad's eyes come. He gets those evil eyes. It's crazy how his eyes can change shape like that. It's really weird. It's like he's handsome and then he's like, oh. He's like cowboy jigsaw. I don't know. Yeah.

14:38Oh, God, I wish jigsaw was that hot. I could actually sit through one of those movies. Those are the most disgusting movies. If I have to watch one more person cut off their own limb, I swear.

14:50Ben Mandelker: I swear to God, I've had enough of you saw. Saw more like seen enough. Saw enough. Okay. Saw enough. So Ozarks, here we come. Are there any alligators in the Ozarks? And he's like, I think there's been one or two. She goes, don't say that. I'm not going to get in the water now. And he's like, you swim in Texas lakes. I don't think we have alligators in Texas lakes. Well, she says, I trust Texas. I don't trust Missouri. So, you know, the alligators in Texas, they're just a bit more respectful. Oh, they'll say, oh, I'm so sorry, ma 'am. I will go find a chicken instead. But those Missouri alligators, you can't trust them.

15:32Ben Mandelker: They may say they're looking for a chicken, but they're coming for your foot. She's on to something. Well, guess what? In Texas, alligators can be found in 120 of the state's 254 counties. There you go. Never knew of it. And I live in a lake town. We do not have alligators in Lake Travis. I'll tell you that much. How is it taken by an alligator in Texas? Could you believe it? It shot me.

16:01That's why you stood on the shotgun. That's why right there. I tried to warn you. So Tegan's car. I got a bar. Farmhand. McBee farming cattle. and Tegan, Jake's girlfriend. So Tegan's like, Jesse, I've never seen you drunk. And he's like, what? Never. I've never seen Ella drunk, neither. And he's like, I haven't either. I tried to get her drunk. She won't do it. Well, I can't believe she ain't doing a triathlon tomorrow. I mean, she's doing a triathlon? That is crazy. What about Steven? Is he going to do a triathlon? Not Steven, I'll tell you that much, unless it's a guitar-athalon. Has anybody ever seen him play that thing or are you just put it in trunks?

16:41It is so nasty.

16:45Ben Mandelker: So then we go to Kala's car and she's doing her makeup and she's like, is it weird that I'm coming on a trip with you? He's like, no, I don't think it is weird. OK, I think it is weird that you're dabbing your face with that strange powder that you painted ladies use. So he's like, I don't know what my I don't know that my family is too happy that Kala is coming over. All I know is it feels good having Kala around because I can have sex with her. So she's like, do you feel any type of weight about it, Kala? She's like, no. Good. Okay. So when we go back, I don't know why Cal is coming on this trip.

17:21Is it acquaintances? Are they friends? Are they lovers? Are they married? Did they just meet each other? Did they go to high school together? What's happening? And she's like, yeah, I just don't know what's going on. It feels like whiplash. I'll tell you that. Like they're together, then they're not together. It's always something different. Not like me and Jake. Me and Jake, what are we, Jake? Together. Yesterday we were together. The day before that we were together. Tomorrow we're going to be together. We're always together. Ain't no confusion like that. Guitar trunk person. So she's shaking her knife hand.

17:56She's like, yeah. She's like, I got whiplash. Ow, ow. So then we go to Cal and Steven, and she's like, well, I guess your family's used to us seeing us on and off, right? And he's like, yeah, they don't mind. They're used to it. I don't think I've heard you utter a single positive thing about anyone in my family.

18:17Ben Mandelker: you are the most pessimistic person about my family i've ever met so she tells us am i a dumb bitch for going on this trip probably no am i still gonna go yeah i just want kella to know don't ever make it don't you ever think that you're you're not a dumb bitch for going on this trip you are just a dumb bitch in general okay no actually is it me i really like cala do you i think she's wrong most of the time but i still i think she's she's something about her i think she sucks i think she's in the right but she sucks it's like she's the messenger like like she's i'm on her side about all the stuff like i think people treat her like shit but god she's annoying like she would be the sort of person where i'd be like please get this person away from me and i'd say that to everyone in this on this cast actually to be fair but yeah i was gonna say i guess because we're talking about this cast.

19:10It's hard to pick, you know, but I kind of like her just cause she annoys everybody and she's just blatantly there to use their buddy and they just let her. I think it's hilarious. And then this episode where she's like, I know so much about this family. I could take them down. I'm like, well, first of all, you're kind of late because that's already happened. But second of all, I kind of love that for you that you're like, yes, that mom's going to pay my rent. Fuck yeah, she is because I know everything there is to know. Listen, I love a pretty blackmailer. What can I say.

19:40Ben Mandelker: So Cole and Casey's truck is driving a pretty bad blackmailer. I mean, yeah, I mean, a pretty blackmailer is the best kind, right? I mean, who wants to be blackmailed by an ugly person? Am I right? Yeah. Can we get some pretty blackmailers in here? I mean, geez. Hello. So Cole is like, I just hope Kayla doesn't get into with anyone this whole weekend. Okay. And Casey's like, yeah, you're just as mouthy as her. You don't say anything that you know, you make her mad just don't say anything so then he nearly gets into a car accident because it's cold and he's awful at everything he does he's like i'm a race car everybody i'm a race car so then we go back to the other car jake's car and jesse's like well i'm not saying he likes being told what to do but he does kind of like when a woman tells him what to do you know like wears pants you know but not walk all over him or nothing like that because we're family and we go of the Ozarks is a family.

20:35And Tegan's like, yeah, yeah.

20:38Ben Mandelker: Hey, wait a second. What do you mean he likes when a woman wears the pants? Didn't we vote to have that band?

20:45So, Jesse, the producer asked Jesse, so have you ever heard of BDSM? He's like, uh-uh, I don't even know what that would stand for. Hold on, let me look at all my phone. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Steven into that? He just laughs. He just looks at the camera and cracks up. And someone has found a new porn addiction. Yes, he has.

21:08Ben Mandelker: He's like, I don't know who BDSM is. No, BDSM. He's like, hold on, I have to verify my age before I can read this definition.

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23:13This is why I have to have my Zeevo Flying Insect Trap. You plug it in and you let it do all the work. It's specially designed blue and UV light attracts the bugs you didn't know you had, and wow did we have a lot like house flies fruit flies gnats and then with zivo bam next thing you know the pests are caught in the sticky cartridge and away from your yummy treats without any mess or strong odors the best part is the design is actually sleek and curved so it hides the bugs it catches keeping them out of sight and when the cartridge is full you just grab the no mess tab throw it in the trash pop in a new cartridge and then you're done no mess no stress so whether you're hosting a dinner party or spending an afternoon baking treats with all your friends and you want to focus on hosting and not constantly swatting at bugs, Zivo has you covered with 24-7 bug protection.

24:04Plug in a Zivo flying insect trap so you can work smarter, not harder, and actually enjoy your time at home.

24:13Ben Mandelker: Now we're at the McBee house and Christy is there. There's another McBee, Brayden, because there just is a new McBee every single episode. They just keep on populating. I think we've seen Brayden. I think they're trying to make Brayden happen because Steven Senior is gone. Brayden's like the fourth brother, but he talks even less. I mean, they don't let him talk at all. He seems pretty nice. I really get the feeling like they're trying to fill in the void of Steven Senior. They're like, oh, look at this. It's a gardener that they once knew three years ago. Hey, Ralph. It's like, oh my God, Ralph is so great.

24:50Ben Mandelker: They're just like auditioning people to fill in the gaps every single episode. Yeah. So Christy's there and everybody starts claiming their bedrooms and stuff. I mean, they're all kind of ugly, let's face it. But then we get to see the hero of the show. It's Uncle Jimmy. Everybody, hold back. It's Uncle Jimmy. We've heard about Uncle Jimmy. He's going to make quite a mark today. But one question, where is Aunt Darla? I was promised Aunt Darla and I don't see Aunt Darla. I feel kind of ripped off here. You can't just provide a Jimmy without a Darla. I think we all know that. Steven told us that Uncle Jimmy and Aunt Darla were going to come down.

25:30And Aunt Darla's like, I ain't doing that stupid TV bullshit. How will I ever hold my head up high in the Piggly and the Diggly if I do that? I'm not doing it.

25:40Ben Mandelker: Listen, I'm still waiting for Thelma, Naomi, Vinton, and Iola to show up. Maybe even Bubba. But, you know, can only get so many mama's family people on this show, right? So Stephen's like, Uncle Jimmy is dad's brother. And he also worked on the farm. And he and mom are really close up until the divorce. So they haven't seen each other. But I'm really happy my mom got us all under here, under this one roof, with really, really bad carpeting. I mean, this carpeting is dirty. It is dirty carpeting. But you know what? I'm not going to say anything. I got a guitar in my trunk and Uncle Jimmy here. My stomach is full.

26:14Ben Mandelker: and uncle jimmy's like you know i got a good woman with darla but i also know what i gotta do to keep her happy apparently i need to jack off in her face sorry everyone i hate to i hate to bring the move down but we had a long discussion on the drive over here and it's a lot of my mind i never really went i never knew this side of her but apparently jimmy was talking the the one jesse was talking to me about some sort of bdsm and i think that don't might be into it i don't know hey why do you guys all look so horrified yeah i took this as him just saying like you know she's a good woman but you still got to make some effort you know the man has to do something as well steven right and steven's just like uh-huh he just nods like not getting it at all so then we go to the encore lakeside bar and grill it's a three michelin star wrestler restaurant.

27:09It's a restaurant that closed already, but they just keep serving like grilled cheeses. Like, well, we don't have the menu, but you want an encore? Okay, we've got some grilled cheeses left. Okay.

27:18Ben Mandelker: Yes. You have to clap in order for the doors to open. Or otherwise known as Beyonce's second half of her concert. Because after an hour, she's like, everybody, thank you so much for coming. This has been an amazing night. Thank you. I loved being here. And we're like, And then she performs for two more hours. Did you not remember saying goodbye two hours ago? You cannot say goodbye to me. My butt is like ready to go to bed after you say goodbye. After you say goodbye, I'm expecting one more song. Not two more hours. Not that I'm complaining. There's two more hours ahead of him. Yes. Yep. Encore.

27:57Ben Mandelker: So they arrived just in time for three people to drive their motorcycles into a little cage ball and just do the thing. that they used to do at the circus. So do you know how many stupid toothless people have died trying to perfect this? I mean, I was thinking about how do they come up with certain Darwin's cage? Yeah. The dumpster ball. Yeah. I mean, it's really cool. Honestly, it is really cool. It is. But like what, what compels you to be like, I'm going to risk my life to see if I can ride in a synchronized circle in a, in a small ball. Yeah. There are a lot of coals in there. Just like a lot of people, just who don't get enough attention from their dads.

28:37You know? Yeah, but what if I drove my motorcycle into a circular ball cage?

28:46Ben Mandelker: Hey, do you think my Kia could fit in there? Because by the way, Cole is driving a Kia and I'm offended as a Kia driver. Uh-oh, so I was going car shopping this week. Get him out of my car. He is sullying the brand with his under the carpet. Then switching over. Seatbelt bullshit. So they sit down and drink and Uncle Jimmy comes up to Christine, Christy and he's like a question for you did you think Steven would actually be the first one to have a kid and she's like no honestly I thought it'd be Cole I really did I mean Cole Cole's the one that really needs to lock one down I mean Cole could be dumped at any second look at the poor guy he doesn't even have a mouth and Cole's just like what are you talking about over there with Jimmy Cole does sort of have a lot he's sort of his face does look like a like a tree with a hole in it like it's like the thing that the owl sits in you know yeah it's like the little it's like the little nook it's like the tree vagina you know it's like in a neighborhood it's where you go leave old books and then people can pick them up and borrow them it's a free library

29:52Ben Mandelker: except no one's putting books in that thing no one's people may put a tic tac use condoms or whatever in there people put like read this newspaper clippings of when he was a star in high school hey remember when you were a quarterback here i'll put a clip in your mouth

30:11Ben Mandelker: so anyway yeah so um so jimmy is saying like yeah like you said did you ever think steven would actually be the first one to have a kid and um uh didn't you always think steven would be the one and then steven's like you are the most pessimistic person about my sperm i have ever met so then we cut to cole and cole's like once i found casey i knew i'm knocking this girl up I'm nervous, but I'm excited, y 'all. I mean, I don't know how Doppel works, but I figured out. And he's getting wasted, and Casey's just rolling her eyes, and she says, whenever Cole drinks, it's a disaster. I mean, with age, he just doesn't mature.

30:45It's actually the opposite. I can't wait to have his baby.

30:49Ben Mandelker: I know, right? Also, he's 24. Let's stop acting like he's at the ripe old age of 48. So now at the Encore Outdoor Bar and Dance Floor. Wow, that was... that? Encore outdoor dance floor. That almost sounds like an R. Kelly song. Encore outdoor bar dance floor. At the encore outdoor. And after the party it's the after party. And after encore it's the outdoor bar. And after the outdoor bar it's the dance floor. That's why I'm not so proud. So Uncle Jimmy's like, can I have this dance Christy? She's like, well sure then. So he gives her a sweet little twirl. And he hugs her. And he says, I love you.

31:27She says, I love you too, Jimmy. And she tells us, I haven't spent much time with Jimmy since Steve and I have divorced. I haven't even seen him in five years. He was hard. Steve's family was my family, so I'm happy. It's like, you know, we picked up right where we left off. Well, yeah, he's nice to you again because his brother's going to jail. I mean, I wouldn't have the question of like, I thought we were friends and then you dumped me the second, and your brother cheated on me and fucking left me for the Russian secretary. Like, what the fuck, bro? But she's like, I forgive him because you know what?

31:57At the end of the day, you know what Jimmy is?

31:59Ben Mandelker: hey she's the boy yeah i'm surprised she didn't get an angry text from darla right away like get the fuck off my man so um i didn't know this by the way when they were dancing didn't come she's like you can be fake as you want to with christy christ okay but darla ain't gonna do that because darla ain't some fake bitch okay so you take christy you take her in front of the bike chasing ball and you push the ball and you crush her with it if you want if you want to get inside this again okay why am i imagining darla with like one of those like bandanas that's like tied in the front on the phone with a friend i said you know i always say to jimmy i don't care where you get the appetite you just know where you get fed am i right so you know what enjoy yourself man you christy because i'm the full course and you know she's got like big old curlers in her hair and a cigarette dangling out of her mouth at all times.

32:53She's talking on one of those phones with like a twisty cord. That's what I told him. I told him, you let that cage roll over her like a big ball. I told him that. I did.

33:06Ben Mandelker: Oh, hold on. My cat got caught in the cord again. Hold on. Get out of that cord! You're supposed to be nimble! Stupid Hubert. I should have left this cat under the diner where I found him. God, the worst thing you could ever do is give a cat a slice of Mississippi mud pie. Don't ever do it. As long as I got you on the phone. Is there a cure for mange? I think I heard something about the cat has it. I did notice that Christy, when dancing with Uncle Jimmy, was like oddly holding his elbow. I feel like she was like, I'm not going to put my hand on his waist. She's like, I'm going to draw a boundary.

33:46Ben Mandelker: And I'm not going to do this unless the man tells me to do that. In which case, of course, I have no power. yeah this is just friendly and when you're friends with somebody you hold their elbows this is how it works what we learned in church so steven is like hey do you guys want to go down to the dock and play a game and casey's like um i heard of this i just thought this was the funniest thing that casey said so i heard of this game where everyone writes down a question and then you like put them in a hat and then you like answer them wow great game great game case I heard a game questions and answers maybe it was truth or dare I'm not sure we're on problem now so we have to play this game we're not gonna they said to make it into whatever we wanted to but it just sounds like putting things into a hat and then answering questions so let's just do that hey I heard a game it's called two truths and then a third truth you guys wanna start I know a game let someone make love to you and then decide a few months later whether or not you want their baby here's the game marry regretfully wish you could kill but marry them anyway

35:05so Cole's like do they have to know it's my question and she's like no it's anonymous he goes I don't know what that is but do they know it's my question or not no they're not going to know so kelly's like yeah so don't put your name on it just write like don't write like from cole

35:21Ben Mandelker: that's what that means cut to him furiously erasing scratching off from cole so they start playing the stupid question game the game where you answer questions and there's like literally no subtlety which is so funny like the first one the first one is stevens he's like okay here's mine would you rather make out with galena or live with her for a week oh man everyone's like, ew, gross, Galena, disgusting. Y 'all know that Galena has a TV, right? I mean, Jesus. Y 'all know that you guys are all... They're also like, have you guys seen yourselves? Do you guys think you're that much better than Galena?

36:01Oh my God, especially Cole. Cole ewing anybody else is hilarious. Cole looks like

36:07Ben Mandelker: a marshmallow that stayed on the stick too long in the fire and it started to droop down towards your fingers. I don't want to hear it from him. No. So, Stephen chooses to make out. And they're like, oh, gross. Disgusting. And Brayden's like, ew, dude, like dad's made out with her. And Christy hides her face. And Brayden goes, okay, here's the question I got. How does pregnant sex work? Well, pregnant sex work is a lot like un-pregnant sex work. You just have to basically say, when I want a prostitute, you say, can I get a pregnant prostitute?

36:45Don't tell mom.

36:49So Kala's like, well, actually, Casey said y 'all's sex life is improved. And Christy hides her face again. I love that Casey and Cole seem to have the best sex life out of everybody in the family, which is weird. Because they've made a lot of comments. Yeah. It's just so weird that someone willingly has sex with Cole the most out of anybody out of this family. And that girl's gorgeous, too. But she's like, yeah, usually we have it every day. So I don't know why he's complaining. I'm like, you had sex with Cole every day? Oh, God. How do you do that?

37:25Ben Mandelker: I think it's just that leftover charisma from star quarterback. You know, like there's like an inertia that follows you. Like if you're the star quarterback, like if they went to high school together, like that star quarterback thing really lingers. I don't know. That's the only way I can explain it. But at this point, Christy leaves. Oh, yeah, I really do get inertia. every day. I get in her. I get in her, Shaw. Shaw. So, Christy leaves because it's too gross for her. And Stephen's like, okay, I have the next question. Jesse, your wedding is a month away. How come I haven't seen any indication that you've been up at the farm taking care of the beef, okay?

38:06Ben Mandelker: And also, why hasn't a prenup come across my desk? Oh, that's pretty ballsy to ask when Allie's not there, sir. Yeah. That girl has been with him since before high school, right? Didn't they... I wouldn't be signing a prenup if I was her. Are you fucking crazy? She has to be part of this loser-ass family. She better get some of that money. Listen, as long as you carve out that city house for her, she'll be happy, I'm sure. Yeah, I hope she gets the city house. Yeah. So, Stephen's like, because with the percentage from the car washes that make no money, and shoot, the farm that makes no money and she, the tractors that the coal's broken.

38:48I mean, that's$50 million payout. If we ever start making any money, we do know that this company has no money, right? We are$6 million in debt.

38:57Ben Mandelker: So Jesse goes, draw one up, draw one up. But they're like, Oh my God, you're going to talk to Allie. He's like, yeah. But then Jesse is like, Oh God, that was stupid. She's going to kill me. Why don't I ever do that? She's doing triathlons. She's so strong now. he's just trying to impress his brothers but he's like oh hell no i'm not gonna do that she'll kill me so on the dot casey is like okay um last question steven if cole was running the farm would you listen to him um oh by the way the card actually says if cole was running farm so i had to add the the so this is probably from cole hey you said this is gonna be anonymous misses.

39:39Ben Mandelker: I love that someone wrote, if Cole was running far, if Cole was running far. Cole wanted to hide who was writing the questions, but it's obviously Cole. My answer is no. And so everybody looks all upset. So now the next morning, they're having breakfast and they're talking about how, you know, Stephen and Cal are getting along in that nice. and Christy tells us, I trust Stephen with everything he does in his life, but I do not trust his relationship with Keller. Yeah, so Stephen and Keller are outside talking about this apartment in Dallas that she found that she wants Stephen to basically pay for, but they have no money, so he can't really do that.

40:25Ben Mandelker: And she goes, well, I need to get the apartment app in. What do you think about co-signing? I know you've got your name on all these loans. He's like, well, the farm is definitely tight this year and we need to make it six million by the end of the year. Otherwise, there's no way I'll hold up a co-signer. Okay, but my mom, she can do it. My mom would love to do it. And she's a woman, so she'll do what I say. Oh my gosh. So they bring Christy out and Cal is like, yeah, I was just telling Steven that I found an apartment close to my family, but like I need him to co-sign. And I can't do it, mama.

40:54Like it's 250. You need to make that much just to get into the place. And she's like, yeah, well, sure. I mean, I'd love to help you out. Why would you help her out? To me, this is crazy. She's not even dating Steven. You hate her. You don't like her being a part of this family. Why are you doing this? And this is what she said in an Instagram comment. I think it's maybe it's Facebook. I can't tell what it is. But someone was like making a shitty comment about her. So she came on and she said, hey, Curly Jess 23, you're kind of contradicting yourself. So I stick my nose in their relationship by telling Jesse he needs to stay home with Allie.

41:30But you're also saying I think my boys do no wrong. Hmm, which one is it? And please explain how I treated Calabad. Did you know over the past three years how I tried to get close with her? I paid for everything for her. Employed her two different times. She wouldn't come to work. So basically had egg on my face while she wanted to do nothing with any of us. Except the benefits that came with it. Let's see, what else? Oh, I'm currently paying for her 15-month lease on her high-end apartment in Dallas. Because she was too good to live in anything but that. Oh, and we get to pay for her car. it's not even in her name it's an r name clearly you have a case of diarrhea of the mouth

42:08Ben Mandelker: krista out but like why is christy because christy does this whole monologue where she's it's all the scene is interspliced between it and so she's like she's like i knew she was a gold digger from the first time she came around but i would do anything to get her out of my life i don't even want to see steven in this toxic unhealthy relationship and it cuts to her going sure I'd love to help you out just say well I don't know if I can really do that right now we only extend these things to people that are family or significant others and you two are both friends right now and I don't think that this is appropriate or even easier just say well I'll think about it I'll have to go see I'll have to go check to see my finances and I'll get back to you but like she just crumbled stupid and she has this whole big facebook comment going off on someone and she ends it like oh i totally have the upper hand here no you look like an idiot because you're paying for all of this like you're the idiot like you're paying for someone you hate also asking somebody to co-sign on a lease doesn't mean will you pay for this apartment for me so why are you paying the lease like this is yeah cuckoo and you're digging yourself a grave and you should not be doing you are such an enabler lady like you shouldn't be doing this for your kids like it's too much It's too much.

43:21Your kids are failing. Just let them fail.

43:24Ben Mandelker: You know, I'd love that she went off and created her own business and became like super powerful. But she is totally spineless around her, her kids and the family. And it's like, it's actually very sad. Like, she just acts like she's helpless. I'm like, you're the mom. You can just say no. And you can have attitude about it because they're your kids and they have to listen to you. But she seems afraid to upset her own children. Especially because your husband obviously isn't paying for shit. because if you're paying for it through your company, that means the husband has no more money left and you're having to shoulder all this.

43:55So if you're having to pay for it, then you have the power to say no. So I'm not going to feel bad for you. And I think it's super crazy that Calla would expect to just break up with someone and then expect a family that she hates to pay for everything. And I also think it's funny that Christy's like, Oh my God, you know what? There's this girl and I could tell she was a gold digger. Really? You could? She met your son on a TV show called Joe Millionaire where he was the millionaire. Like, why would you expect to find anything else?

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46:59Ben Mandelker: Higher app engagement was associated with greater weight loss at 16 weeks. so Kala they now go to paintball and some of them are like they're sort of gathering etc and Kala's like so Casey would you say that Cole has been growing up it seems like he's matured and she's like he's definitely changed a little bit I mean we'll see he's definitely wearing bigger pants he's growing out at least and Kala's like I think he'll be a good dad he'll be a good dad to somebody someday in like maybe 45 years and really not even then what about you are you and steven like friends with benefits and that means you still have sex right because i mean yeah and also leases and cars so so they um they go and they have like this whole thing this whole like they're shooting and everything and it's like really fun and then afterwards uh then there's like a silly thing where it's like, well, the tradition here is that if there's a groom, then the groom gets to go run the gauntlet and people get to shoot him.

48:09Ben Mandelker: So he, they all shoot at Jesse and it's hilarious. And now it's time to go on a pontoon boat. So, uh, on the pontoon, catching rays and making waves all afternoon. And, uh, it's one of my favorite songs actually. so steven takes uh brayden and cole and jesse and casey and cali and crustate to a bar uh where the boats can stay docked and steven this is such a steven order all right we're doing shots sugar free vodka red bulls okay skinny cowboy it's a skinny cowboy so um they get those and cole's like i want four and christy's like cole you are gonna be a father and i mean yeah but hello look Look at the one they had.

48:55So she's like, I don't like when his drinking starts. That's when I start to get nervous because it reminds me of their father. And watch, I'm going to stand up for myself right now. You watch it. I'm not going to take this from my boys. They're going to drink. This is what's about to happen. Guys, I'm going to go home. I got some stuff to do.

49:08Ben Mandelker: Y 'all have fun. I know. Christy, you should be like, boys, you are in public right now. Slow down. I am your mother and I'm telling you to stop. And even if they don't listen, you should still say that. But she's like, okay, I'm going to go back home. somewhere. Bye. Have a great time, kids. Yeah, so now it's time to go in the pool, and Cal is in her bikini, and Cole's staring at her, because she's bodacious. So, everyone, we just see drinking, and drinking, and drinking, and drinking. And Stephen decides it's his time to get loose, because I never get loose. So I'm going to get loose right now with some sugar-free Red Bull vodka shots.

49:47Ben Mandelker: Yeah, you are the most pessimistic beverage I've ever had around my family. So, then And Kala is like being all silly. There's like this guy in overalls just like wading through the pool. Like, please don't bring your jeans into the pool. Like everything that's in those jeans now leaching into this experience. We've seen a lot of kind of what the Ozarks vibe is that they're trying to give us. But we don't see it as much as we do in the pool. I mean, when they get to the pool, that's when I was like, oh, wow, this is different. It's like people in their cowboy hats and like just, I don't know. Are they fully clothed?

50:25Like there's a lot of like grinding and fucking and there's a lot of weird shit going on in that pool. It's like it's rowdy in there.

50:32Ben Mandelker: Did the Ozarks tourism board, did they did they agree to this episode? Because I can't imagine this was really what they wanted to put out there to the rest. You know what it was like? It was like in that movie, The Gremlins, when the little cute gremlins all got covered in water and then they became gremlins and started partying in the kitchen. And we're like throwing things around and swinging from the fans like one falls into a blender. I hated that scene. I was like, clean up. Stop it. Just because you're a gremlin doesn't mean you act like an idiot. Grow up. So funny. So now Cole is like flirting with Kala, who's straddling and twerking over Steven.

51:11but then they're in the pool and she's jumping all over him. She jumps over him and like puts her boobs on his head or something. And then, um, Cole goes, she's doing, but he sees her butt and he goes, she's,

51:22Ben Mandelker: she's twerking. It's Kala. She's twerking. And she did the twerking. Okay. She really, she really has captured the spirit of the Caribbean in her twerk, the way that that butt cheek moved. Not at all. She really, she really got it down. Um, She really. White girl twerking. White girl twerking. So Cole's like, yeah. I mean, if that was in my face, I'd eat it all day. And Casey's like, oh, yeah, that's funny. That is real fucking funny. And Braden's like, Cole, you're literally the biggest idiot. You got a pregnant lady over here. So Casey gets all upset and also gross. I mean, just gross. So she gets all upset and he comes over.

52:08He's like, come here, baby. Come here. no mouth. Come over here. Daddy no lips wants to talk to you. Get over here. Come on. Lick my teeth. Chill the fuck out.

52:18Ben Mandelker: No, don't touch me. I'm going to go home and play game of questions with myself now. I'm mad. Colton needs to go to bed. That's where he needs to go. Calla walks off with Casey because she's all upset. She's crying. She goes, why are you upset? He said he wants to eat your ass. She goes, me? Me? Oh, let's sit down and talk about it. She goes, I think we're leaving. He's just trying to be funny, but after a while, it's not funny. So Cole's like, Brayden, I will beat your motherfucking ass, because Cole's now spiraling. He's so mad that he wasn't able to get Casey to accept his apology, so he's spiraling.

52:59Ben Mandelker: And Brayden's like, you need to shut the fuck up, Cole. He's like, you're not my fucking mom, because if you were my fucking mom, you'd probably say nothing at all right now. Oh, you probably give me$5 and pat me on the head. And Braden's like, you need to stop. I never met a bigger bitch in my life. And where the fuck are my two older brothers at? Someone needs to be over here trying to do something. And then we cut to Jesse and Steven and they're like wrangling. Oh, we cut to Jesse and Steven just parting. And Cole storms off and he's in the parking lot yelling. He's like, I've changed my whole life for her.

53:32I did everything right. I become a good person. I don't get no credit for nothing. I'm trying. It's like, how are you changing? You just gained 100 pounds, and now you're drunk all the time and wanting to eat your boyfriend's girlfriend's ass. Like, what are you bragging about, bro?

53:49Ben Mandelker: Yeah, settle down, Jennifer Hudson. You are not changing. So then Kala is, like, climbing into her car, and a woman's like, bitch, get out of the fucking way. And she's like, you get out of the way, you hoe-ass bitch. I was like, wow, Ozarks just... All you need to bring is your love of everything, right? I love that it's just so casual, too. Bitch, get out of the way. Now you get out of the way, bitch. Ho-ass bitch. And she just gets in the car like it happens every day. I was cracking up. Also, they used this later to show how crazy Kala is, but she was just responding. I mean... Yeah, she was.

54:26I'm sorry, but you can't hold this against Kala.

54:31Ben Mandelker: do as the Ozarkians do. So then we got to Cole, who has now walked through the parking lot and there's a little hillside. Not even a hill, it's just an embankment with grass and stone. He just starts punching the embankment. What are you doing? I'm looking at you! I've changed! He's punching the hill and the brothers are cracking up. I guarantee in the history of humankind, the hill has always won. That's why there's an expression, dying on a hill because the hill doesn't die on you listen the hills have eyes and they're both judging you okay so the eyes are like the eyes are like squinting shut and saying please please get away from me yeah i'm gonna look at you so cole uh starts beating up the hill and then finally just sits on the ground and starts crying and he's like i'm there i'm pissed i mean i'm gonna be both my brother's asses right now this is not funny and i've changed so then cole is like they get into like an uber and cole just like sits in the back seat and he like grabs the headrest in the front seat and he's like holds on to it for dear life and he's like i love casey and my baby i just do everything wrong but i'm not the same person i'm not the same person everyone thinks i am i'm someone who's just like two or three years older than that i've changed i just like you know look as far as like i mean i was making fun of him for gaining weight that's not very nice i'm just doing it because he's acting like he's just been on this journey through like the desert where he's walked and fasted and become a good person and he can't believe everybody's still holding him no you have not done that you are you are messier than ever you're drunker than ever you're grosser than ever and you're about to pop out a baby okay yeah so he's like a he's like a hickey jacks you know so then steven's like well cole's under stress because he peaked in high school okay and the farm is the worst it's ever been and he's gonna have a kid so he's having a mid-20s crisis okay he doesn't even know how bad it is yet because he doesn't know that there's an fbi investigation so wait until i drop that one on him yeah he's like yeah i just think that it's finally catching up to him and he's just going to be he's just going to be a dad and he's just not handling it well and so i love how he just i love how he just lays that he's like you know i think that cole is upset because he peaked in high school i know that said when the mcb's are telling you that you know so cole is like i've been he's like i've been changing everything about myself i just want to have a fucking good time what have you changed is this this is the better version i don't know if I even want to know what the worst version is.

57:16Ben Mandelker: This is literally someone who has not changed. I don't even, without any context, I tell you this person has not changed from whatever he's claiming he changed from. Well, last year in the first season, they go to Nashville for this boy's trip and the girls get all mad. And he basically, everyone wants to bang Steven, right? Because Steven's like from TV and he's also hot and he's this big, strong guy. So all the girls like Steven. So Cole follows Steven around and waits for Steven to get hot girls. and then he tries to take the leftovers. And by the way, he admits this. He's like, yeah, I hang out with Steven because he gets hot girls.

57:47So he waits for the Steven to reject people and then he tries to make out with them. So last, he did that last year and he ended up getting a couple of girls and flirting with them all night. And they're like, Casey's gonna kill you. Casey's gonna kill you. And he's like, I don't care. I can do whatever I want to. I'm married or nothing. And then he acts like he deserves a gold medal because he didn't sleep with one of them. And so that was his whole thing. So then he got in trouble for that. So now he's made it into episode. What is this five? And he hasn't followed Steven around and tried to sweep up any leftover Pusese.

58:20And so he feels like he deserves a Nobel peace prize for changing. It's like, that's as small as he thinks, Ben. That's like literally what I would expect.

58:31Ben Mandelker: So anyway, they all make their way back to the, well, actually before they even get to the McBee Lake house, Cole is not just only saying that he's changed, but he's crying. and now he's saying, I'm not crying. I'm not crying. Stop saying I'm crying. I'm not crying. Don't look at me. I'm not crying. They're like, you're literally crying. No, I'm not crying. You stop saying that.

58:56Ben Mandelker: I'm not crying. So now they get back to the house and they start gathering. Chris is like, oh my God, what did he call you? And Casey's like, I just said something because, you know, he was drunk. and then he got mad. So Casey even protecting him, like leaves out the whole, he got wasted and was hitting on Kala and said he wanted to eat Kala's ass. So he leaves all that out. So Christy blames Steven for this, of course, which she's right. But it's also your fault because you do nothing about it. And then Casey and Cole hug and make up and then they go to the dock to drink some more, talk some more shit.

59:35So they all head down to the dock.

59:37Ben Mandelker: And Cole is doing this whole thing at this dock. He's like, I'm a good person, and if I had my daughter here right now, I would still drink, but I would stay under control and not get inappropriate. So I would say to that hill, next time I'm going to punch you, but my little lady's here, and I don't punch hills in front of a lady, okay? And I think God puts us through hard times like this whenever we had it. Too easy growing up. God puts us through hard times. like it's in the bible like there's parts when when people were sitting there and god put an ass that they could eat and they had to make that decision you're gonna eat that ass you're not gonna eat that ass and i didn't eat the ass i'm a good person because you know like when you've had it too easy growing up you know god tests you uh i mean not steven and kelly goes oh really you think steven's had such a hard life for real you've all had it fucking easy i do his load of laundry and every day and if i don't he'll text his mom to do it so why are you saying that he's had a hard life yeah but he's there's always gonna be someone who's had it easier but like he's dealt with more than most people have at fucking 28 years old you know how hard it is to be a really good looking muscular guy with a lot of money he's dealt with a lot that kanban broke down last week huh tell me a 28 year old man who hasn't dealt with worse than that yeah he gets up at 4 a.m.

1:01:05and he works his fucking ass off. And she goes, he does not get up at 4. He goes, oh yeah, and you had it harder than us, and you've done really good in your life too, but he's had to deal with things no one should have to deal with at this point in his life. He's about to lose his hair. And he's only 28.

1:01:23Ben Mandelker: The other day, I gave him a Reese's fast break and he didn't eat it fast enough and it melted. He's dealt with a lot. A lot. And he goes, yeah, well, same. But same then.

1:01:40You did. I mean, Cal, come on now. You can talk about how hard your life is too, but you're literally so hot that you can live off of that. You're walking into this family and getting everything paid for, and that's just what he did. So why is it any harder for you? Like, I don't get it. You both get the same thing.

1:01:59Ben Mandelker: Cole is actually being kind of funny here because he's not being like, you don't you're you didn't you you don't know you didn't grow up with a hard life he keeps on saying and you grew up with a hard life too you guys both had a hard life life is hard sometimes she's like no he's like no i'm saying he keeps on saying like he keeps on conceding like her points because every time she's like you don't know what i've been through he's like you're right i don't you had it hard too she's like no you don't yeah but no stop it yeah they're just wasted because He's actually, it's weird because Cole has looked like an idiot.

1:02:32So now I think what Cole's trying to do is kiss Stephen's ass by saying, Stephen worked so hard. Stephen's had it rough. And also, so have you, Calla. He's actually trying to kiss everybody's ass. But Calla's like, uh-uh, he hasn't had it hard. I've had it hard. Y 'all are, you know, privileged or whatever.

1:02:48Ben Mandelker: Yes. Now she's trying to get all feisty to the family that's paying for her condo. Yes. And so Cole's like, no, no, no, no, no, no. You did. You did. and you're about to get your own apartment. So now he loses it, right? Because she just keeps pushing him. So he's like, you're about to get your own apartment in Dallas with my mom paying for everything for you. So don't say all that, please. And Calla's jaw drops. And he's like, yeah, if you knew anything, you'd just love Steven and not get sent back to Dallas. You wouldn't talk shit about him all the time and you wouldn't be nowhere in life without him.

1:03:23And it makes me so mad. I'm sick of it.

1:03:26Ben Mandelker: He runs away. He does a lot of running away in this episode, like storming downstairs and up driveways and stuff. So Calla starts to cry and Jesse's just eating a pizza crust all angrily. So just, well, actually, no, I'm sorry. He's actually, Jesse's eating it happily. Steven's eating it angrily. Cause his arms are crossed. He's like, I ain't got, I ain't gonna fucking stick up for you. You're constantly throwing me under the bus. She goes, how? Cause I have a hard life. And she was like, he doesn't have a hard life. He doesn't have a hard life at all. And now he's like angry. Cause he wants to be like, I have a hard life.

1:03:59Ben Mandelker: So then Cole runs. He runs into the house. He's very Cartman. Cole is so Cartman, the way he gets all angry and in a fuss. Yeah, he does. He is like him. He's like, yeah, my mama's going to be real mad at you now, stupid. So he runs up. And of course, he runs right to mama. And he's like, she's on mom's motherfucking payroll. She's like, what's going on? And he goes, Stephen provides everything for her. And she said that he's had it so easy. She goes, we'll talk about it another time. Calm down, honey. Calm down. You're just a boy. You shouldn't be this upset. He starts crying. And he's like, okay, now is not the time.

1:04:39Ben Mandelker: And so Cal is like, really? Because he just yelled at me. You know, Chrissy is like, I don't care. It's my son. And Cole's like, I'm not, I'm not, I'm just trying to get you to realize that Stephen does everything for everybody. and Cal is like she's just staring and like I like that Cal can just sit peacefully in the middle of chaos like she'll create chaos and then she just sits there and looks at everybody and Steven just pushes her across the floor I love this shot I was like this will become a gift she's just sitting there staring and Steven just pushes her across the floor and her stool away from everyone she just sits there I'm just trying to get you to realize Steven does everything and Cal's like wait I'm not the one he fucking yelled why are you pulling me away and Cole's like punching the air he's like where's the hill get me to a hill send her back to Dallas so Cal's like the truth will come out Steven and you'll be fucking buried for that shit you'll be buried you'll be buried you're gonna get buried so now Christy's with Brayden and Cole she's like everybody go to sleep go to sleep now and um cole's like casey doesn't talk about me that way how can she talk about steven that way poor steven mama and brayden's like yeah because she loves you and casey and allie a lot my sisters but calla ain't my sister she ain't my sister so uh oh god so she's like steven in the other rooms she's like steven why are you so scared and she calla says steven told me that his father is being investigated by the FBI, which by the way, like someone needs to really look at Steven, this guy who's like the CEO of the company telling his on and again, off again, unstable, toxic girlfriend, maybe not girlfriend details about the fact that like the FBI is investigating, like that's not smart of your CEO.

1:06:35Ben Mandelker: Look what happened with. Well, Steven is really, Steven's really like toxic and messy too. And he keeps telling Kala all of these things to like pit her against his family and pit the family against her and he likes complete chaos. I don't really know what his game plan is but it's like he wants to keep Kala around but separated from the family or something. It's fucked up. I mean Steven's pretty fucked up. And yeah it is really stupid for him to tell her that. But did he tell her innocently because he needed someone to talk to or did he tell her because he wanted her to bring it out on camera because he didn't want to be the one to bring it out on camera.

1:07:10you know I don't know I can't tell

1:07:11Ben Mandelker: but now she's doing this whole bit where she's saying like she's like everyone's mad but I don't know what the fuck I did that was wrong and he's like I just need you to go downstairs everyone is too drunk she's like I'm not he's like at 32 be mature and be done instead of making things as hard as fucking possible on this family so Christy's like Stephen calm down calm down okay Stephen Stephen just calm down so Calla goes downstairs and packs her stuff and Christy tells Stephen, this isn't love. I don't get why you would drink with her. You're both miserable. You make each other miserable. What are you doing with her?

1:07:48And she says that Stephen's not perfect, but Calla is poison to my family. And he tried to make things right by being with her when her sister passed, but I'm not going to allow it anymore. I cannot wait to pay the first lease payment. I can't wait to do it.

1:08:03Ben Mandelker: I will not allow her to poison this family, which is why I will invite her to dinner and pay for her new car and a new house. and maybe a second house. So now Casey sits down with the brothers and she's like, oh my God, she has a cowgirl hat on. The girl's getting ready to go. And Cal goes out to the car and there's an Uber there. And Cal is like, I have so much tea on this family that they would not want out there. But there might be one thing that comes out pretty soon. They are being investigated by the... Galena shows up like FBI. I already did this. I already did this, you hack. You are hack.

1:08:42Ben Mandelker: If you kill some chickens, then you'll be real good. Real bitch. Yeah, is there something else? Because I like that she ends like, and something's going to come out soon. But you just told us the FBI thing. So was that it or is there more? They voted for Biden.

1:08:58Kamala fans. So, yeah, I mean, I'm not really sure. But also, like, you're taking money from this family and then being like, In the same episode, you're asking them to pay for everything. You're like, I'm going to bring them down. Yeah, it's called blackmail.

1:09:14Ben Mandelker: Pretty blackmailer. There you go. Yeah. That's what that is. All right, everyone. Thanks for being here. Another McBee Dynasty in the can. Yeah, thanks for being here for some McBee Dynasty. We will have The Valley and other wonderful shows on later this week. Talk to you later. Bye. Bye, everybody. Watch what crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alison King. It's always a party on Alison Block. Our way is the Amberway. It's the Foster and the Furious. It's Amanda Foster. She can run my country. It's Angie McGovern. It's always automatic with Ashley Otto. Put your hands together for Carly Clapp.

1:09:53Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. She's not just a Sheila. She's a Daniela. Itchles.

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1:11:27Let's go into the woods with Guy Tubbs.

1:11:30Ben Mandelker: It's our queen, it's Queen Laifa. Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall. Hail the cork master, the master of the cork, Jennifer Corcoran. We got our wish, it's Jen Plish. She's not harsh, she's Jill Hirsch. Knock, knock, knocking on Katie Manok's door. My favorite Murdo, Karen McMurdo. We love him madly, it's Kyle Podshadley. In the study, with a candlestick, it's Leslie Peacock. We're ride or die for Lisa Ryder Barron. She's a whiz, it's Liz Sarthy. Always killing it, it's Lola Alkalani. The Incredible Edible Matthews Sisters. She Eases Our Woes, it's Melissa St. Rose. There's a Chance of Meatballs, it's Rebecca Cloud.

1:12:09Ben Mandelker: She's the Queen Bee, it's Sarah Lemke. We Cannot Tell a Lie, it's Sarah Talifson. Shannon, out of a can, and Anthony. Please don't stop, it's Soli and Pop. Let's take off with Tam La Plaine. It's always a good time when you're wasting time with Bravo. She ain't no shrinking Violet Kuchar. We love you guys.

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