#2959 McBee Dynasty S02E06: Heart of Cole

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1:24Ben Mandelker: Prices and participation may vary.

1:55Ben Mandelker: Watch What Crappens I'm Ben Mandelker. Joining me in sty recovery is the one and only Ronnie Karam. I swear it's always something over here. Little mini eye surgery today. No bigs. They're just flipping my eyelid upside down and cut into it. What the hell? Well, I am just happy that you still have one eye left to be able to see your very first mountain. Just like Casey on the B Dynasty. I just want to see a mountain. so um mcbee dynasty it's back it continues and we're talking about it today but by the way in case you missed it we did amazon live this week it was so fun you can still go check out uh that broadcast that we did and uh we made some really fun recommendations and i highly recommend you looking at our recommendations and we'll be back in two weeks with that uh this coming week we have on monday crappy hour at 5 30 eastern uh western i should say pacific 8.30 Eastern.

2:58Ben Mandelker: And then we have Dwell Hello this week. And a lot of people have been buzzing about the latest House Hunters episode, which featured a cougar, a cougar and her cub. And so we recapped it and it was really fun. So keep an eye and ear out for that on Wondery Plus. Plus, of course, Patreon is where you get to watch us, not just listen. You can look at Ronnie taking a nice big gulp. I'm so jealous. I have what I would call cotton mouth at the moment because I forgot to drink coffee. Keep hydrated, y 'all. I am dehydrated. And that's just life. But anyway, you know what else is life? McBee Dynasty.

3:35Ben Mandelker: Because, you know what? They've got a lot of living to do, these yokels. So let's get into it, shall we? Let's do it. This is McBee Dynasty, Season 2, Episode 6. Never Seen a Rock So Big. That's funny. That's a funny title. I cannot believe how excited that girl was to see a mountain. I mean, mountains are beautiful. Don't get me wrong. But girl, like aim higher. You know what I mean? I mean, technically a mountain is a very high aim. She aimed. She aimed high. That's true. But wow. Cole really. Talk about men on Bravo getting away with doing the least, you know. And people say, this show doesn't belong on Bravo.

4:19It's about a bunch of country people. It's as far as Bravo. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. This show is about piece of shit men who do the bare minimum and get by. That is Bravo's brand. What are you talking about? This is like made for Bravo.

4:37Ben Mandelker: Yes, except for the fact that it's a terrible show. So anyway, it opens up and we have just been at the O's. You are entitled to your wrong opinion. No, I'm very happy for the people that love it. So we, I wish them well. So we, opening sequence, Missouri farmland, all the good stuff. I don't know. There have been some entertaining episodes. I thought last week was pretty entertaining. I wish them a bath. Okay. I wish them so many things. I wish them well. How about this? You know what I wish? They can bathe in. I wish them to understand how the fuck to deal with their stupid fucking combine. They're so busy driving it slowly through the street, getting an erection off of their big machine, that they, A, crash into other combines, or B, don't forget to put the wheels on properly.

5:34Ben Mandelker: What is wrong with these people? You handle combines professionally, and wheels don't just fall off of vehicles, sirs and ma 'am. Their combines are an extension of what they want their penis to be. You know, it's a man thing. It's like, oh, look at me driving a combine. They don't know how to drive them. They fuck them up every single time. It's kind of like those guys with Teslas. Have you seen any of the videos with the guys with the Tesla trucks? Who are like, yeah, I've got a Tesla truck. I'm going to show you how it takes down a picket fence. And they start all the way at the end of the picket fence.

6:04And they gun the gas. And then it rolled the, well, you know what I mean. They gun the car. And then it speeds over the electric fence thing by thing. and then they show under the Tesla truck, and it's all punctured and ruined and leaking and shit's flying everywhere. It's the McBee kids with their combines.

6:24Ben Mandelker: Yeah. That sounds like also content that Jax Taylor will be making now that he's no longer on the valley. That's going to be his next evolution, Tesla manliness content. I'm rising from the flames. Oh, oh, please don't get in my way. Oh, oh, I'm reaching the higher planes. Oh, oh, oh. No one here is reaching higher planes ever. Not even Casey, even though she gets to see a mountain today. She is not going on a higher plane. So we're at Jesse and Ali's house and Cole and Casey come by. They're going to have some takeout and they're going to have some lunch and they're going to gossip about their trip to the Ozarks where they all got wasted.

7:05Ben Mandelker: And Casey is like, you missed out on a wholesome family trip. wouldn't you say so Kyle he's like oh yeah he doesn't remember it's like yeah well I would like to see a video because I never felt it also I wouldn't mind seeing Kyle's ass twerking like that god she really knows how to twerk that girl right in my face I would take it all day long you need to see a video hills don't have cameras on their phone okay and that was the real abused person on that trip the hill that you tried to eat up you stupid so then we see flashbacks of things going on and Calla being like, Cole, you little bitch. Then we go back to the present and Casey's like, we were at Backwater Jackson.

7:49Cole was the drunkest I ever seen him in my entire life. I doubt that. But I don't doubt that he was drunk. Just that she's never seen it. Yeah, right.

8:02Cole's like, well, it just sucks when you do everything right and you just sit there and you're trying to tell everybody. And Casey goes, you better Calm down unless you want a terrible night. Like, damn, I love pregnant Casey. God, I wish for her in season one. Because season one, she's just like, whatever. And this time she kind of acts like that. But then she's like, sit down. I said, sit down. And by the way, Cole is like, it just sucks when you do everything right. What did you do right exactly? You went out of town. You got shit-faced. You got twerked on. You said you wanted to eat your boyfriend's girlfriend's ass in front of your pregnant girlfriend, and then you beat up a hill.

8:42So please name when you started doing things right.

8:45Ben Mandelker: Well, he put that wheel on the Kanban right. Oh, wait. So then in case... You're a real nipple dribbler over there. You're a real bean dribbler. Dribbledor. You're a real dribbledor over there. They got that dribbledor around that one. Yeah, we didn't get there today, did we? No, instead we got this stupid scene with him eating Jersey Mike's and talking about, Ozarks were crazy. Like, great, thanks. No, Ozarks were crazy. My children were out there trying their best to do what they could. And then some whore twerked on Cole's face and almost ruined their baby's childhood. I'm not sure that this family can get along at all.

9:30Ben Mandelker: and between the one Targaryen that's up there in the large and the other Targaryen that's getting drunk and the other Targaryen that's angry at both of them, I don't know if this Game of Thrones is ever going to work out in the first place. Game of Dribbledores. Yeah, seriously.

9:54So Cole's like, well, it's just awkward. It's just awkward for me because I keep getting yelled at by everybody in case it's awkward for me when I'm the one dating the drunkest guy at the fucking bar making a fucking fool out of himself. That's what's fucking awkward.

10:07Ben Mandelker: So then Cole's like, well, good thing we live in a free country. Anyway, they should cancel Stephen Colbert. Oh, sorry, what'd you say? Anyway, they should cancel Stephen Colbert. Thank God we live in a free country. Get Stephen Colbert off my TV now. anyway kala was standing over steven straddling him and twerking and uh so it's a liberal use of the word twerk i would say it's more like kala was bent over and she was sort of thrusting the air with her upper back maybe half an inch she was trying to scratch her the bottom of her spine on a tree. That's what it looks like. It looked like she was playing some weird bachelorette party game where she had a post-it on her butt and she had to apply it to the bottom of a table.

11:03Ben Mandelker: And so she did it.

11:08She was trying to unpin the tail from the donkey.

11:14Ben Mandelker: But she pinned it onto her butt donkey. I don't know what that word means but I've been told liberals like to say it. so um we see flashbacks of all of that stuff and um all the fights and all that good stuff and so cole's like well and then she went on to say that steven hadn't had to work for anything in his life and mom pays for everything for him i mean what kind of woman would say something something true like that and casey's like well it was the worst fight i've ever seen in my life okay that's a lie too casey why is everything the most today you know he was the druggist he's ever been.

11:49That was the worst fight I ever seen in my life. Haven't you been to jail? I saw pictures of her, like mug shots of her, but I want to know why she went. Like, what did she get arrested for? I hope it was like drunken disorderly.

12:01Ben Mandelker: She tried to climb a stack of paper towels at Costco because she thought it was her first mountain. I just want to go to the mountains. She's drinking a Mountain Dew crying like oh my god finally i'm here finally here she's looking at a stack of cores with binoculars at the supermarket like i found it i found the mountains so uh jesse um uh yeah so jesse shows up and uh or jesse's there and he and she's like yeah and then and then she comes up They get into such a fight that Casey comes up and her stuff is all packed. So she Ubers and she leaves. And then she blocks Steven. And then he hasn't heard from her since.

12:53Ben Mandelker: And Cole's like, I mean, I'm not going to cause any more problems. Don't worry about me. I'm going to the mountains. Oh, whoops. Spoiled surprise, Casey. So Casey, I looked up her arrest. In 2022, Casey was arrested for murder. Just kidding. misdemeanor driving while intoxicated. I was hoping she'd like, I don't know, done something interesting. Yeah. Like knocked over a combine. Yeah. Like push someone down, push an old lady down on a crosswalk or something. I like when nice people, like seemingly nice people turn out to be monsters. I was hoping it'd be something like that, like selling illegally bred puppies out of her trunk or something.

13:38Ben Mandelker: Speaking of monsters, we then go over to Cala who's packing up her stuff from Stephen's house that she already moved out of but she's still going to pack again and this time she's just taking a full vase of flowers she just is like I'm going to pack a vase I'm going to pick a vase of flowers into a box and move I'm not I'm like lady okay I know everyone on this show is a bad actor lord knows we have to sit through enough terribly scripted scenes with them fake fighting with each other but do you also can you at least try to act with your packing can you at least try to pack the way a normal person would be like i don't know wrapping your vase in in crepe paper or whatever it's great paper tissue paper anything wrap it in something i mean has anyone ever in the history of vases ever packed it with the flowers still inside and no protective material come on just try to actually act like you're doing something for real she's putting like the microwave in there the barbecue grill crazy with stuff on it like yeah it's a lot the hot dogs are on the grill back and it all goes where everything must go so she's like yeah everything that went down at lake of the ozarks was the final straw like i know i've just given him so many chances but you know i've just like been shitted on so much and it's just making me crazy like i have so much dirt on his family.

15:01She goes, I've been there for Steven so much and I have so much shit on this family. He told me his father is being investigated by the FBI. Okay, listen, Kala, you're not a good girlfriend or a good person by saying, oh, I went through so much shit and now I'm going to use it all against them. Betray everything they ever told me. That's not, like, why are you acting like you're Jesus on the cross right now? Okay, that's not being a good person, you dope. She's like, I'm such a good person. Now let me tell you everything he ever told me in confidence while sobbing because he thought his life was ending.

15:34God, these flowers smell like good.

15:37Ben Mandelker: Don't blow your load. She's just blowing her load on this. She's like, he told me so much dirt. His father's being investigated by the FBI. I'm like, girl, use that information to get something. Don't just out and say it. You got to get yourself a new hubcap for your car or something. I don't know. You just gave it out for free. Get a new base. Get a new base with some fresh flowers. something. Get fresh flowers in Dallas so that way you don't have to import them from Kansas City. And I love that she's doing all of this while she's like saying I'm not putting up with this anymore right after she's moving into an apartment that they're paying for and driving a car that they're paying for.

16:15Ben Mandelker: Yes. And even though she's and even though she already moved out of this house she's still going to have a moving out montage. I mean the show's just sloppy at this point. And she gave up her entire career of doing something or other for this. How dare you. I have an MBA in something or another. Okay. The something or another sciences, which does include packing vases with flowers. It's a very difficult art. So she continued. Oh, got a little fly in here. That is disgusting. Doesn't that mean there's like poop in here or something? No, it just means a little fly got lost. I hate those little flies.

16:50Ben Mandelker: They're the worst. I would rather a big fly because at least they've got some stones on them. It's the little ones that are always trying to go on you, you know? Yeah. I want like a big fly. I like the ones that are like this big and they're like, I've seen things, you know, those flies have been around the block. Yeah, they've been here. They're like, I'm going to fly slowly. No one's killed me yet. And they're not about to, you kill them, you know, obviously they can't finish. Get that Pinsmark's racket out. Yeah, a house fly, a house fly is like a sturdy fly. They're like, they're like good.

17:19Ben Mandelker: And when they, when they land, they do like a little dance. They're almost mocking. They always do that. They always land. And then they like orient themselves in three different directions. Like not only do I land, I have a routine. and then like all the other flies just land. You know what I don't like? Even worse than the fruit flies are those generic flies that are like small and kind of like heart-shaped with their wings make them heart-shaped. They're just stupid. They have none of the charisma of a house fly and yet they don't have like, they just don't have any sort of, well, the fruit flies have no personality, but at least we know about them.

17:49Ben Mandelker: But those flies don't even have a name. They're just like nameless flies and they're easily killed. Fruit flies have personalities. They hang out with gay guys all the time. and wonder why they're not in love with them. That's true. They literally hang out on fruit all day. That's a personality. So she goes on to say that she's been helping Steven through everything. He would cry every single day. I mean, you know, he can talk to me because my dad was in prison. My brother and sister have been to prison. So, I mean, I get it. I know what it's like. I know what it's like when someone rats them out and they all wind up going to jail.

18:24Ben Mandelker: Anyway. Kala is like the lead witness for the prosecution for all of her family members. She's like, they tried to fuck with me and now look where they all are. Happy Father's Day. Kala would be a lot funnier if they just played those Law and Order synthesizer tones every time she talked. Because you know whenever witnesses say things on Law and Order, there's always something that's like,

18:50Ben Mandelker: She'd be like, yeah, I know about Steven. Yeah, yeah, his dad's being investigated by the FBI. What's it to you? Like, I think I would enjoy like a law and order. What am I saying? I would never enjoy her in any capacity. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappens commercial. This episode is supported by FX's The Shards, a seductive drama from executive producer Ryan Murphy. Set in 1980s Los Angeles, the series follows a group of glamorous, deeply entangled high school seniors drawn into a life of wealth, beauty, parties, and excess. At its center is Brett, whose reality begins to unravel when the arrival of a new student coincides with a series of mysterious murders.

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21:19Ben Mandelker: So then we go to a place called Pasta Villa. Not to be confused with Villa Rosa, Villa Blanca, or anywhere. Or Pasta Villa. For that matter. Vanderpump Villa. So Stephen and Galena are in a very important meeting. Milli Pasta Vanilli. So they sit down at Pasta Villa, home of the most authentic pasta of whatever building is west of it. I'll tell you this. That place better be legit because it was established in 2023. Yeah. This is 12 months of memories and authenticity. Pasta Villa established 2023. Okay, well, your new location. You know, let's hold off on the established. Maybe like let's give that a few years maybe.

22:19Nothing about

22:21Ben Mandelker: this place looks like a villa. I'd also like to add. Do they even eat pasta? I don't even think they ate pasta. It's all steak. You know this place. It's all meat. And porcupine. What state is this in again? I forget. Missouri. Missouri. Missouri. Okay, so Stephen and Galena go to a restaurant, and Stephen's like, what is up, Galena? I like that jacket. I've learned to always open a conversation with a woman by complimenting their looks or their clothes, because that's what women like. Did you fall for it? Yes or no? Just tell me yes or no. Are you drunk? And she's like, oh, thank you. It is fun, isn't it?

22:58Look at this fun, frill outfit. I did for season two. I'm trying to show lighter, more fun, Galena.

23:06Ben Mandelker: well that is really that is really wonderful i really think this emotional roller coaster that you're on and that i'm on with cala it's really heightened she ended up moving down to dallas and we're going to be friends she goes wow wow okay well you were supposed to say a better line there but that's fine anyway it started to hit big wow okay well big wow okay pasta pasta villa wow hey can we get a refill on the pasta here what kind of villa is this pasta villa no refill please wow pasta refill rigatoni wow they they have uh unlimited duck sauce here i don't have the heart to tell them that's not quite you know italian but that's fine so um uh it's starting to hit me that you know cal and i are really broken up cal and i are just gonna be friends my loyalty lies right here on this ranch with this ranch dressing i am loyal to this dressing that they gave me with my pasta here at pasta villa anyway my family i will defend them till the day that i die she needs to work through mourning her sister and i need to work through managing the stress of nobody in this company being able to drive a combine so basically the same thing galena's like i hear you it has been rough on me too but i'm getting there one day every step closer with rigatoni okay not to get too deep about it but do you ever wonder if the universe is just like encapsulated by like a marble and there's like a really big thing and we're just like a play thing to it like we are like a housefly compared to some big giant entity okay and also not to get so deep about something else i think avoiding contact with masha would be best for your mental health because these waves of ups and downs and lefts and rights and sideways and lefts and rights and pastas and villas they ain't beneficial for you or the company and mostly i care about you as a person and by care about you as a person i'm scared you're going to destroy the company from the inside out.

24:56Ben Mandelker: Sort of like this pasta's doing to me right now. Is there a bathroom nearby? So, you think it might not be good for contact with Masha? Probably not. So, I can maybe just shoot. I can shoot. This is from far away. It's like, no, you cannot shoot Masha. Okay? You're not going to be able to have contact with Masha. That would be a bullet making contact. But I can burn house. Yes, I can burn house. You can burn down Masha's house. I run her over. This is not touching with hands. I just run hard down. What about throwing stars? Like Turtle, who is ninja in sewers. I can throw a star. Like, no, that's a terrible idea.

25:35Ben Mandelker: I do not trust you around a throwing star either. That counts as contact, okay? You know, it's hard for me to see what my dad is doing to hurt you. And it hurt my mom, too, you know? And she goes, your mom had it worse. Because for it to happen for 28 years, 20 years, whoever was the slut that was that was the other woman to your mother god may she die in a rotting coffin under a pile of other rotting cough it was you it was you galena oh that's right oh this is right this is right this is terrible terrible bad me bad galena my bad my bad there are times you know i think that i'm getting karma for what i did to christy me this is so funny to me and i'm gonna just cover my eyes so i could at least do it with half my face but fucking galena man she squints her eyes and she's got these eyes that she's fucking killing you i mean i don't know she's got she can do this brutal thing with her eyes it's so good and she goes yeah i think sometimes i'm getting karma for what i did to christy i know i absolutely hurt her she was his wife i can't even imagine and then she just goes hmm karma maybe yes yes yes that is yes that's a good way to put it galita i love that it's just now dawning on her like maybe not great what i did to christy maybe not maybe not i've been i've been taking therapy in karma villa the person gives me advice you know season two botox so well i don't want i don't want this stress to affect you to the point where it's compromising across all the companies because i'm having mom and cole telling me all tell me to just fucking fire you because it's not worth the headache but you know better than than anyone that the risky that risky situation in business ends into you right right wink wink uh b i f a B-I-F-A, that's pig Latin.

27:32Ben Mandelker: You calling me a pig? Never mind. It's going to take our absolute best to climb out of the hole that this company is in, that the liberals put us in, I'd like to add, and we won't be able to do it if we're stuck in an emotional low. So I need you to move on. Deal? Because you're better off that way. Deal with it. I'm killing my shot. No, that was not the deal. Well, thank you. It was great meeting with you. And I just want to stress, I really do like that jacket. Thank you. woman. Do you understand? It's like, thank you. You are quite the gentle man. So then we go to Jesse and Ali's. Steven clearly looked up chit-chat GPT.

28:08Ben Mandelker: When having a tough conversation with an employee, how can you be firm and stern and also nice? It's like, well, be sure to begin and end the conversation with a compliment that echoes the first compliment. So we go to Jesse and Ali's city house, the big Big city, taxis flying by, pigeons, you know, reading newspapers on the streets. And Christy comes over and she's like, Jesse, what's that car that's out in the garage? I just happened to take a look in your garage because I'm your mother. And that's what we do. Wanted to make sure my son's garages are safe. So what was that car that's out there?

28:50And Jesse's like, I didn't know what the plan was, but dad asked me to keep it here. It's Masha's car. She's like, oh, that Porsche is Masha's car? That is her car? Wow. Wow. Wow. Nice car. Nice ride, Masha. And Cole's like, don't tell Galena, though, because she's going to keep beating them windows in. I'm the one able to drive it to the window place.

29:16Ben Mandelker: Luckily, we got a lot of them here in the city. So then we go to Steven, and he's driving. And he is on the phone with Jesse. and there's a brisket situation with Arthur Brian's barbecue so Steven is telling Jesse he's like hey I'm on my way down to Arthur Brian's to hopefully see about the brisket we sent them because yeah I thought they went to the meat trend because they said they didn't want too much of the brisket like to be touched with a knife so I thought well maybe it turns out maybe we cut off too much because it turns out we actually just filleted it into like thin like cold cuts and then gave it to them to braise or whatever they do down there and smoke it, whatever.

29:53Ben Mandelker: Anyway, I gotta go fix the situation because the entire farm depends on it. The entire fate of Western civilization depends on these cuts of meat. They wanted to make faster sandwiches at the barbecue place. My idea was cutting them so thin they'd look like bacon. So I basically turned them in beef bacon. Turns out they didn't like it. Now, am I gonna change them? No, probably not. But I had to give it a good try. I called him right away and I said, Arthur, I love your jacket. I love your jacket. Now, I want to talk about your brisket techniques. You spend a lot of time, a lot of time smoking them.

30:29Ben Mandelker: As far as I can reckon, that's eight hours doing that. Have you ever thought, maybe instead of smoking for eight hours, thin slices of bacon, real thin, 30 seconds. I think, I don't know, it's going to be good. He wanted smoked brisket. I put cigarettes in the brisket. And I lit the brisket. a lint of cigarettes they smoked didn't like it didn't like it so i said you're that's i'm really so much smaller with that jacket what a jacket so i saved us i basically saved us i brought a very tiny jacket that i was gonna give to cole's baby someday but it fits the brisket perfectly and i'm gonna put on the brisket and say that's a nice jacket and i mean that wait a minute that's what I'll get for doing everything right, I guess.

31:20Lose the jacket. So then we go see the clip over at Arthur Bryant Barbecue, and Andy's like, I appreciate you coming down here. I needed to see what the meat looks like. Okay, you need to take a look at this. Okay, at 185 without the fat on it, how much shrinkage there was. Look at this thing. This looks like a penis that has not wanted a vagina for over 30 years. This is an old penis brisket. Do you understand what I'm saying?

31:48Ben Mandelker: Okay. So Stephen's like, absolutely. This is 100 % on me. You know, I understand that you do not appreciate my cigarettes wrapped in bacon made of your brisket. I thought it was innovative. I thought this way no fat, lots of smokiness, everything you could possibly want. It's on me. I was thinking, though, maybe next time cigars. I think cigars might be the way to go. So that's where I will go, and I will do it for you. This is on me. Now, this might be outside of my pay grade, but I wanted to suggest turkey sandwiches. Turkey sandwiches. Just change it. Just change it. Just change it. Okay, because we got turkeys.

32:31Ben Mandelker: Wait, hold on one second. I just got a text from Jesse. We don't have turkeys. We'll get you turkeys. Galena has killed Masha's turkeys. Okay, well, I will be back with the brisket tomorrow. Have you considered smoked combine wheel? Because we got a lot of those. They roll off our combines, and what we like to do is put them over a spit, and then after about a few hours of braising, we just slice them off. Real juicy, real juicy tire and such. Yeah, so I've got to keep some fat on it, man. This is Arthur Bryan's. We ain't fucking around over here. This is the real deal. This is the church of barbecue, okay?

33:08People don't kneel down to take your turkey sandwiches and your smoking skinny brisket. This ain't 90s model brisket. We want some fat, fat brisket here. Do you understand? We want a Dove commercial brisket. We want all kinds in this plan. He's like, okay, I will do it. And guess what? I'm going to cover the loss on this since it's my fault. And then I'm going to blame Cole for losing money in corn. Do you understand? That's where we're going to come from here.

33:40Ben Mandelker: oh so now we're back at the city house and somehow we're able to hear the dialogue with the sound of that that elevated train going right by the window and christy is like uh-oh uh-oh look stephen walked in with a brown paper bag that's not a good sign because we all know when someone brings a brown paper bag there's always a head inside mother what are you talking about why do you say that well i'm just saying that gwyneth paltrow is never going to be bothering anybody again in this family he's like well i have brought some meat there is a seven pounds of brisket seven pounds of burnt end so that's great uh basically our meat was cut so lean they had to cook it 10 degrees hotter just to get the taste the same as theirs so they cut and their cut and our cut were the same size when they started cooking so we pre-trimmed a little bit too much is anybody tired of talking about meat yet i could talk about it all day yeah good talk we're having good meeting they said they said this meat is more damaged than your mama's hair and i was like don't say those sort of jokes but now that i look at you ma your hair is pretty damaged have you thought about cooking your hair at 10 degrees cooler that's good you know i should have called arthur bryan a long time ago i just cut too much fat out i cut too much fat out all right well burnt ends for cole and avocado for ma all right i brought burnt ends for your split ends ma otherwise i brought burnt ends otherwise known as mom walking past a beauty salon okay let's all sit down burnt ends also known as what happened to mash's chickens after galena was there they came to a burnt and um remember when we went to kansas city and we went we got kansas city barbecue and everyone was like you got to get the burnings you got to get the burnings and we thought they were saying i thought they were saying burnin like burn it i thought it was like one word spelled b-e-r-n-e-r-n burnin or burnin maybe no second r yeah and they were saying burnt ends the entire time.

35:53Ben Mandelker: God life. I ate everything in that place. The mac and cheese, the potato salad, the coleslaw, the bread. They gave you those. Didn't they give you like the Wonder Bread type bread? Oh my God. What a place. What a place. Was it called a Q45 or something like that? It was great. It was called Heaven. That's what it was called. I said, Gabriel, you better stop blowing that horn. I got to get to work. Stop the blow. Feed me some more burning. so Cole says growing up in Kansas City we like the fayette on our meat and that's what gives it the flavor man so I don't know what Stephen's doing with Kala right just a bony lady over there anyway Stephen's trying to turn from crop to meat so fast that all he wants to do is do that as fast as possible so I'm not surprised he did something stupid like cut too much fat off the beef God I hate when he does things stupid cut to well looks like another wheel fell off the corn combine

36:51and then steven's stupid fucking cole my god what a fuck up cole is the jacks of this show he is a hundred he's not as hot as jacks was back when he started but um he is definitely the jacks of this show what did what a lose um so we cut back to the president and steven's like well we are behind and we had a bunch of meat to thaw to get to arthur bryant's so we already did 6 ,000 pounds of that. Are we sick of meat yet? And everyone's like, oh, God. Well, we can't afford to lose Arthur Bryant's, okay? The crops look this good this year, right? Because Cole told me and he's trustworthy, so knock on wood, but we're still$80 million in debt with car washes.

37:29Dad is gone. I got Galena all over right now because she can't emotionally handle anything mentally. You know what it's so hard when someone doesn't have emotional in their mental.

37:39Ben Mandelker: That's a problem. Hold on. Hold on one second. I'm getting a phone call. God damn it. All right. Turns out we cut off all the bristles off the brushes in the car wash. We went too far. That's on May. We just lost$45 million on that car wash down in Kansas City. All right. I got to go. I just found out that when I told them to cut the bumpers off of the cars as they were coming into the wash, that was bad. That has ended up costing us a lot of money, y 'all. I'm so sorry. Hold on. I will take the responsibility for that. I'm getting a phone call from Kara down at the car wash. Okay, Kara, you're on.

38:10Ben Mandelker: um hi saving um the news here is that the um the the brisket you had to take back from arthur bryant's so people don't like that you attach that to the car wash brushes and a lot of people have broken windows now so you're gonna have to fix a lot of people's windows because you tried to wash their cars with spinning briskets also we are getting some complaints that when the soap dispenses from the shooters they're actually shooting out some kind of animal fat um well i was just trying to use what we lost to try and make up no i don't think that's gonna work at the car wash okay i fully take responsibility for that by the way i know we're just on the phone but i can tell i love your top i love your top i'm getting reports you know that vacuum thing at the end of the car wash that like goes onto your windshield and looks like a robot it's been spitting out barbecue sauce well i figured after all that brisket and the fat you want like a little something just to sweeten it up right i don't think i'm wrong on that one i'm not gonna take responsibility for that one beautiful jacket beautiful beautiful jacket so um he's like yeah you know i just don't know that galena can take it i mean i told her three times i liked her jacket and she didn't even hug me so am i losing my touch or is that woman crazy and chrissy's like well we might need to start looking for someone else yeah just i don't know who else i mean who else could we trust that was a maid five years ago at our home to run our business.

39:39Ben Mandelker: Well, you know, people are replaceable. You may not know this. I'm actually not your biological mother. I was recast about five years ago.

39:51Ben Mandelker: That's why none of you look like me.

39:58Wendy Malick was supposed to be playing me, but unfortunately she got a better job on something called apple tv which just sounds like a vote for kamala to me but um yeah i'm new here but um i'll tell you what i still have and we'll always have her hands always people don't realize that my cv is quite impressive

40:17Ben Mandelker: i was the third daughter in charles in charge yes yes that's right i'll just let you think about that anyway i love being on your program now and i will get back to being your mother I do not know how the business is doing, but I do know, because of Wendy Malick, how Harrison Ford is doing. So, there's something. So, Stephen's like, well, after seeing how daddy is, she talked about how much she respects you, Mom. And she really wants to maybe meet with you. Wouldn't that be fun? We're on a TV show. You want to do that? And she's like, um, um. And Christy tells us, yeah, I was pretty mad about Galena.

40:55And the producer says, because she was sleeping with Stephen while you were technically married. And she's like, oh, oh, no, for years and years. Yeah. When I found out that was happening, I immediately filed for divorce and it affected the kids. It still does. It still, still does.

41:10Ben Mandelker: Commercials. Here comes one right now.

41:17Hi, this is Paige from Giggly Squad. And today's episode is brought to you by McDonald's. Honestly, Caesar sauce and a Diet Coke at McDonald's might be the perfect girl dinner. And McCrispy strips dipped in Caesar sauce? No notes. Right now at participating McDonald's, the$2.99 Caesar snack wrap is making me rethink my entire go-to order. Caesar sauce is at participating McDonald's for a limited time, so go try it before it's gone.

41:43Ben Mandelker: Prices and participation may vary. Hi, I'm Angie Hicks, co-founder of Angie. And one thing I've learned is that you buy a house, but you make it a home. Because with every fix, update, and renovation, it becomes a little more your own. So you need all your jobs done well. For nearly 30 years, Angie has helped millions of homeowners hire skilled pros for the projects that matter. From plumbing to electrical, roof repair to deck upgrades. So leave it to the pros who will get your jobs done well. Angie, the one you trust to find the ones you trust. Find a pro for your project at Angie.com. so she tells us the galena lore which is that galena was hired as the family cleaner so she was cleaning the house and we see pictures of galena looking 16 yes on a good day is she there is galena there i just got so scared do you hear that oh my god how embarrassing was there a thump i think beeler sat on the remote control and turned the tv on in some action movies i'm so sorry ben wing it ben wing it okay i'm gonna take it over from here so galena was a youngin and we see these pictures of her she's like making cupcakes she's in the kitchen she's smiling with this creepy smile she's got little pigtails and christy is basically saying that like galena's there for a long time and then when she found out what happened that she immediately filed for divorce and yes it affected the kids etc um but yeah we can see that christy does not want to have a conversation with galena but we also know that christy's thinking well a man said i should talk to galena my mortal enemy and who am i to disagree with a man so guess i'll do it well yeah i guess i have to do it for the tv show at some point but Yeah, this whole Galena thing of being the maid and then you see her looking all young with like literal pigtails, like smiling really big.

43:45We've never seen Galena smile that big. I mean, it was just so crazy seeing the evolution. Like she really worked her way up to be the head of the company and took over everything and the husband. I mean, girl, that's crazy. And it's also like truly the American dream. Yes. In a way, I'm so proud of Galena. You know, I know that sounds sick and people are going to be mad. But I mean, talk about hustle. Jeez. By the way, speaking of hustle, Bueller was literally sitting on the remote control on button while he was licking his nuts. So, thanks.

44:19Ben Mandelker: You were like, Bueller, get the fuck off that remote. Love that jacket on you, by the way. I mean that. Love your jacket. Love your jacket. so now we go over to jesse and ali's city house and masha arrives and she's like oh god how to walk by so many people on the sidewalk city house goodness so much commotion anyway if you want me to take my shoes off and jesse's like no it's fine i wear my boots inside you know that whatever that what's his girl's name ali she's like fucking jesse with those fucking boots i just washed this I was like, thanks for giving video evidence that Ali's going to use in divorce court soon to take everything from you.

45:02And rightfully so. So Masha is just like, yeah, so I keep shoes. Look, I still have shoes on. And Ali's like, well, we did take good care of your car, Masha. Why is it everybody's job to take care of Steve Sr.'s affairs? Like, it's ridiculous. ridiculous. It's crazy. So we go out to see the car in the garage. She does indeed have like a Porsche SUV thingy and the back of it is so dirty. Steve's the kind to just drop off a muddy car. You know, that's so Steve senior.

45:36Ben Mandelker: Yeah, I was, that's what I was thinking too, was that I was more offended by how dirty this car was. And I say this as someone who currently has a very dirty car, but I have intentions to clean it. I don't think these guys have intentions. And if anything, Steve is, doesn't like, not Steve, doesn't Jesse say like, yeah, I put a smiley face in the dirt, in the dust or something like. Yeah, it's filthy. I mean, you own car washes and you can't wash your girlfriend's car before you deliver. Yeah, that's what makes it really hard. That's how much that man respects you, you know? So have fun with that, Masha.

46:06Ben Mandelker: That's how bad these people are at business, that they literally are complaining about being in debt and are doing nothing to promote their stupid car wash on this show. Exactly. Like show them being like going through the car wash because I treat my women right. And that's why I wash the Porsches I gave them before I give them back. That's right. So Jesse and Allie, I'm sorry, no, Casey and Allie go to have a conversation by a fence. As you do. And as you do, you know, fences. Should we hang out in the kitchen? You know what we should do? Let's walk about a block and lean on a fence. Casey's like, let's go to fences.

46:43Ben Mandelker: And Allie's like, oh, thank God. I love August Wilson. You know, living here in the city, I am exposed to so much culture. No. I'm at the fence. Girl, you know Allie has not sat and watched Fences. There's not a lot of guarantees in life, but that is one. That is one. So Casey's like, well, it's real hard. Oh, sorry. Go ahead, Ben. I can't. I can't. I'm just going to. You thought better. We're going to move on. Casey's like, it's real hard when Cole starts drinking. And ever since we found out I'm pregnant, he's been a lot better to me and treating me right. But, you know, it's just the drinking that makes me mad.

47:23And, you know, I used to be able to put up with it, but I don't know if I could stay with him after the baby's born. Like, oh, okay. Okay, Casey. I do not believe you. You're having a baby with Cole of all people. Like, come on, Casey. I want better for you. yeah you're you're having a baby with with a man whose name shares the same name as a as a dying

47:46Ben Mandelker: energy source that is this that is the metaphor for you right now okay cool it's not coming back so uh so now we go to a farm field uncle jimmy and cole are watching a cow give birth am i please i already watched city sliggers when i was in sixth grade i do not need to watch another calf being born really i was actually furious that i didn't get the full cow birth they kept they were like oh i'm sorry this is sensitive for tv we don't have that in the tv sensitivity rating we don't want to have to write it in there we do have cursing smoking abuse and um jacket compliments warnings so i don't really want to add this i'm like i want to see the cow birth why are you making the cow turn around they're like turn around you're on camera this is a family show i i saw I've seen my cow birthing once, actually several times, because I actually watch Slickers a lot, because I used to love it when I was a kid.

48:38Ben Mandelker: I don't need to see it over and over again. Okay, I get it. I feel bad for the calf. I mean, you got this calf that's born, and it comes into this big, beautiful world, and the first thing it sees is coal. Yeah. And then a staple gun, so they can mark, you know, they can tag it. It's like, welcome to the world. You can't even stand up yet. You're ours. jeez cole's like i sure like the way that calf was twerking so he's like i'm gonna i'm literally gonna eat your ass when you're older because i'm gonna cook it and sell it to arthur bryant now little thing don't eat too much because you're going down to kansas city someday so cole's like wow that castle there everything's getting a little out of hand oh he's talking to uncle jimmy and he's like hey uncle jimmy you know things got out of hand and like ozarks and you know why i blame that for because you know who wasn't there aunt darla aunt darla wasn't there and uncle jimmy's like well day drinking you know i may take some time to rebuild that trust you know you just got to think how would you treat your mom you got to treat your mom a lot differently than you treat your brothers your dad flowers help that's what most men do when they're in the doghouse you're getting flowers darla loves flowers all right how would i treat my mom okay so i guess uh i'll go home and i'll see casey and i'll ignore everything she says and make her do things for me great thanks for the advice wait a minute i just impregnated my mama you did i can't believe i did that i'm so sick i'm going to church Come back here, Cole.

50:15Cole, stop running away from me. Flowers, Cole, flowers.

50:19Ben Mandelker: Cole, don't treat your mama like your girlfriend. Treat your girlfriend like your mama. Oh, this poor guy. He won't ever get it straight. Don't worry. I'm not the biological mother, so it's not incest. Don't you worry, everyone. Don't worry. Wendy Malick just had to go to work explaining to Harrison Ford why she's pregnant. But, you know, I'd like to thank you anyway for your advice, Uncle Jimmy. Tell Darla hi. Are Wendy Malick and Harrison Ford on a show together? Yeah, I think they're on that show on Apple TV, The Therapy Show. Oh. Wow. I'm pretty sure because we keep making Wendy Malick jokes.

51:01They're in a show called Shrinking, and they play love interests. Get out. Because we bring up Wendy Malick so much for Real Housewives of Orange County, and someone was like, you guys are making it sound like Wendy doesn't work. And Wendy works, but she's on Apple TV with Harrison Ford. I was like, okay, Wendy, yes. So, we've got to give Wendy her cred.

51:22Ben Mandelker: Yeah. We will always give Wendy Malick cred. It's just Heather Dubrow who doesn't because they are bitter enemies, according to us, and not based on any truth. So, back to the office. Let's go to the office. So, Stephen he's coming out to talk to Kara, the perpetually terrified receptionist. She was terrified. She's like, uh-oh, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming. I gotta go, Mom. I gotta go, Mom. Hello, Kara. So, before I compliment your blouse, I just want to ask you, do you have the yield totals for all the trucks? She goes, yeah, I do. It's at... I'm saying this as positively as I can. Do you want a mint?

52:04I have mints here on the front of the desk. Just tell me.

52:07Ben Mandelker: Tell me. Tell me the yield. Tell me the yield, Kara. Okay. The yield is gum. I have gum. You should answer that. Kara, I swear to God. I swear to God. I will never compliment your address ever again if you do not give me this yield right now. Okay. On the count of three. The yield is puppies, sunshine, trampoline parks. Okay. Hold on one second. I'm going to... Hold on. Let me just go into another room and crush this bottle of ranch sauce. okay i am back and i am calm please tell me what is the yield 150 it's 150 the yield is 150. god damn it god damn it 150. that's like 200 bucks an acre less in revenue than we expected there's no way we're going to be able to to cover our loan payment with that you know how could those numbers be so off how could they be so off it was supposed to be 150.

52:55Ben Mandelker: let me tell you something at this rate 150 bushels okay i was told it's me 200 200 bushels and 500 and guess what guess what what there's nary nary 200 and nary a peck because this is 150 bushel of corn okay and it ain't gonna make that 500 000 bushel a peck contract okay i am sick of it i am done with it i am mad i am cutting the fat off this bushel i am furious be done with that bushel on the pack hug around your neck hug around your neck no karen i told you a million times i am seeing someone although i am single right now so i will take a hug around the neck okay here's a hug put your arms okay that feels nice feels real nice i love you i love you okay back away so cole now this is where steven's like i told you cole's an irresponsible nitwit idiot i never should have let him do nothing in this company.

53:48You're running the company, and this man went off and bought lands you didn't approve of and told you it's going to be 200 an acre, and you believed him? What is wrong with you? Maybe you're not fit to run this company, because no person worthy of running a company would believe a word that comes out of Cole's mouth, sir.

54:07Ben Mandelker: Yeah, mainly because all the words that come out of Cole's mouth sound like this. Because there's no lips or teeth. Does that estimation have any teeth in it? Okay, it only has teeth in it. Does it have any lips? It does not have. It's only teeth. Okay, I believe him. I believe him then. Companies can't just buy farms like a Starbucks run. You don't just like buy a farm. If it's a company, things have to be signed off on. Like you signed off on this. You don't just like surprise by a farm on behalf of a company. So this whole thing is bullshit in the first place. This whole bushel. This bushel mess.

54:43Ben Mandelker: Guess what? I'm 50 bushels short also. And by bushels, I mean brain cells because of this stupid family.

54:58So Galena has come in during this time. And he's like, I cannot believe Cole did this. Can you believe it? I mean, bushels, pecs, bugs, necks. And she's like, yeah, something has to change. Something has to change. She's like, not your jeans, though. Those are adorable. But at this rate, 150 bushel of corn ain't going to make that 500 contracts. What are we going to do? This is why Cole never should have done nothing. So then we go to Cole and Casey walking together or work in the barn or whatever. And Cole's like, I think I'll go to the plane. I'm going to take us a little honey, a little baby moon.

55:31You ever been on a baby moon in the mountains before? She's like, no, I've never had a baby. I've never been to the moon or to the mountains. He's like, yeah. She's always wanted to see the mountains. so I'm gonna do it

55:44Ben Mandelker: oh my god I can't believe I get to have my baby on the moon at a mountain so he's like you know I acted like an idiot

55:55Ben Mandelker: one small step for man one smaller step for a little baby so Cole's like I acted like an idiot in the Ozarks punching hills and what not and I want to show Casey I'm putting her and our family first she's never been to the mountains before she's always wanted to go to the mountains she's also said she always wanted to go on the moon so i never been great with girls or moons or mountains so i get that from my dad and i thought i can make it right we're take we're going to outer space so he gives her kind of this half ass like i should be better so i'm going to take you to the mountains because you're pregnant and all you know and you know account for me being drunk on the ozarks or whatever and she's like wow i just wish there was accountability and he'd say hey i messed up but i do get to go to the Mountains.

56:41It's going to be magical. Mountains are supposed to be like hills, but pointier. I can't wait. I just can't wait.

56:50Ben Mandelker: All right, little lady, I'm going to treat you right. We're going to hop on a regional flight, a state over, and go to Colorado. Oh, my gosh. I know it's going to be fun because we're going on a plane called Spirit. it much they do charge extra for the baby it's considered carry-on probably knowing those so like does your pregnant belly fit inside of this um trial bin before you get on the plane are you going on a regular trip or a baby moon it's a baby moon okay that will cost an extra 25 dollars yeah celebratory personalities yeah yeah so stephen finds cole working on a tractor or whatever, like anybody believes that.

57:36He's like, oh, I just went over the yields with Kara. Do you know how hard she hugged me? I have hickeys on my back. That's how hard. And any chance those numbers are going to come up? Because we are under, and we've got a$6 million payment due by November, and there is no way we're going to make it. Even if I sold all of the mints that Kara gave me into my pocket, we cannot make that yield.

57:58Ben Mandelker: Now, it's your turn to reply to me. It's your line. Oh, sorry. uh yeah i've been tracking and we should be good we might have the numbers we need next year i'm gonna keep the combines rolling they're not gonna stop because you know what elon musk made combines that don't need drivers i am sick of next year and farming all you hear is next year next year next year ozarks is one thing because you know what i went on a trip to the ozark but Now I hear you're having during harvest, during a baby moon. What are you doing? Baby moon during harvest? What the fuck is a baby moon anyway? Is that where you take your baby out there and you just pull down its diaper and it shows everybody its butt?

58:42We don't do that in this family.

58:44Ben Mandelker: Well, as far as I know, when two moons love each other, sometimes they get very intimate. And nine months later, congratulations, you have a baby moon. I just told my guys like you know they got to keep cutting and I just got to go for two days because I'm trying to put my family first before I cheat on my pregnant girlfriend next week in Nashville according to the previous this no you oh my god yeah you act like you want to run the farm but here you are putting your relationship first you said you want a nameplate on my door well I'm not taking your problems when you're gone okay I'm not going to take on your problems he's He's like, good, because you won't have to deal with none of my problems.

59:26Ben Mandelker: Guess what we'll have to? Everyone else, when the wheel falls off, my combine. It's like, you can't even deal with your own problems. So Stephen storms off. I mean, this guy is like, just admit that you fucked up and try and make it better. But it's Cole. So he's like, uh-uh, you suck more. So then we get - Wait, one more thing, Cole. Get your fucking face back right here. You stand right here. I'm going to say this to your face and I'm not afraid to say it. You stupid melted candle of a man. Like a jacket. Okay. Have fun. Thank you. Actually, I like Steven now. I like Steven. I don't know how he did that.

1:00:04I don't know. So then we see Casey and Cole traveling to their babymoon desk. They're in the car. And he's like, wow, you've been in the car. It's like, yeah, it's my first time in the car. This is really so amazing. What is this? Four wheels? this is crazy what's that little stick you're moving don't tell me don't tell me i want it to

1:00:24Ben Mandelker: be a surprise wow look at this a highway i've never seen a highway before so they they arrive and they're driving and they go to estes park colorado wow the park named after my favorite actor rob estes and then they're driving and they're looking at the mountains and she's like look wow we're officially in the mountains now oh my god i've never seen a rock that big this is the best trip i ever seen it's like casey you're you're just looking at a uh north face store the mountain is the other direction oh lord that's a big mountain ma 'am that's a burger king okay still they're so fancy in this new country uh yeah she sees the mountains and you know they are beautiful is colorado but it's just funny she's like wow it's so big we're officially in a mountain i've never seen a rock that big

1:01:26Ben Mandelker: we're gonna say that i'm sure the entire trip was this wait i've never seen a rock that big wait that rock's even bigger i never saw a rock that big wait i never saw a rock that because like casey can you just wait till we watch to see the whole range and then afterwards we can assess which rock was the biggest. Finally, a state where she's topped by every single set.

1:01:54They go to this cabin resort, which is really cute, and they get a nice little cabin, and then we go back to Galatean, and there are sirens, guys. What has Galena done? Nope, don't worry, everybody. We had a combine going too fast, and it lost a tire today, and it drove off the road. Thankfully, there was no other drivers around, so it didn't hit any other cars, and Cole picked his worst time to go on the honeymoon. He could have been helping me here with this. Why would you trust Cole to help you with a fucking car wreck in the middle of a road? He's not going to help you.

1:02:27Ben Mandelker: You have a wheel the size of a Starbucks drive-thru has tumbled off of your enormous, small penis farm machine, and it's trampled probably five bunnies in that off the side of the road. and Cole is not going to be able to help you ever see those competitions on ESPN where it's like world's strongest man and they find these tires and they flip them over it's hard for the world's strongest man you think Cole is going to be able to come even closer to lifting that an inch off the floor is Buehler changing the channels again he's scratching the couch he's killing me today he's really acting, he's really coaling it up over there he really is, he's misbehaving he's not getting enough attention because I was on this morning Now I'm back and I'm not petting him every two fucking seconds.

1:03:11So he's like, guess what? I'm going to go through the trash and scratch your couch and turn the TV on with my butthole. He's like, I'm a cat.

1:03:22I'm Ginger the stolen chicken.

1:03:29Ben Mandelker: It's my protests. We are all Ginger. We are all Ginger. they are way too casual about the fact that this big ass tire went flying off their combine it has bothered me so much like this is such a big deal and they're like wow that was crazy and Tessa's like well as soon as we crest at that hill the whole thing slams and we start sliding I start praying and never been so thankful for something to come to a stop before I'm like that is exactly what the employees at Golden Corral said when Cole walked in it's so funny that she said that thank you for coming in cole it was good to see you tell your daddy hi god i've never been so thankful to watch something come to a stop before well everyone we're closed for the day no more inventory left so rude because he threw it out guys i'm not fat shaming cole he just went and threw out all their food so now we go back to the lodge it's so obnoxious of me it really is I crossed the line crossed the line whatever we got a Cole and Casey and they're overlooking the mountains they're getting a drink they're getting some some octails and he's like wow it's awesome now I don't know about you but I could see myself spending forever with you I definitely want to be together basically can't you tell I was just telling someone I wanted to eat her ass in front of everybody You know, I mean, we're together.

1:04:58We're already going to be raising a kid. Might as well just be together forever. So are you proposing? You're not proposing. You're just. Wait, they're not married? No, they're boyfriend and girlfriend. So, no, this is the conversation. They're like, should we stay together?

1:05:12Ben Mandelker: Oh, so that they were setting it up like they were like it was going to be a thing. That's why it was like, oh, never seen a rock this big before. It was a big teaser about like, I was wondering. I was wondering why all these ring double entendres. I just assumed they were married. they were like oh we're the best we could do with each you know it's us no because she's trying to like make a stand that she's strong and she's gonna wait for him to change but he's never gonna change and she's gonna marry him anyway and we all know it so whatever also casey i hope you learned a valuable lesson use a condom next time have him use a condom please yeah it's really not her fault it's his fault um so we go to uh let's see then he's like maybe we could be together forever and she's like well i mean maybe but you know i saw i feel triggered sometimes but you know because you want to go out and you you like i you know it would be nice if you were with me because i'm pregnant and stuff but i don't want you to feel like i'm holding you back or nothing he's like i don't feel stuck with you not if that's what you're trying to say i mean i still go to nashville i still fuck other people so i mean i'm fine no but i don't want you to do that yeah i'm not doing that i'm not going to nashville or fucking other people like next week or last week or maybe right now this is actually just a projection of me while i'm fucking someone else listen i don't feel stuck with you at all i just feel disappointed with you that's it okay and you know what however i acted in the past i just want to be you at blair forever without me by the way i just want you to point out it's just you two are in that equation okay enjoy you and Blair.

1:06:51Yeah, you guys have fun not getting child support. So then we go to some back to Galatine. We're going to another international restaurant. This one is Cafe Verona.

1:07:07Ben Mandelker: Oh, how Shakespearean. I guess I should say Verona. Cafe Verona. Wow, I feel like I've been transported to Europe. So in walks Christy. You can tell because the amount of static static cling rises in the restaurant she walks by everyone's hair just rises up I have a table too for Tadstick I'm sorry, I'm holding a Tadstick I have a table for two it's two blondes one has dry hair and one's a whore so wherever you can see this yes, we're under the reservation for original Targaryens thank you so much so they sit down and Glenna's like, it's been a long time and you know, thank you for wanting to much for wanting to meet with me I know I've been wanting to meet with you for a very long time, she's like, yeah, well I didn't really want to meet with you, just my boy said I had to meet with you and I can't ever say no to those boys, that's why that turned out so well okay, so what's going on?

1:08:12Ben Mandelker: what's first on the slut agenda? I'm thinking of having girls just so I can tell somebody no you know what I mean? And by the way, thank you for wanting to be here. I love when she said that. And I was like, damn, Chrissy can get cold. And I like it. And Galena says, well, I'm now realizing, dong, dong, dong, ding dong to Galena, you know, after all these years, for the first time, what it feels like to be other woman. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. She goes, yeah, yeah. Because it looks like she's going to be like, it's okay. You know, water under the bridge. But she gives her a lot of look. But then she goes, that could be, and that wasn't okay.

1:08:48That wasn't okay. Okay. Not okay.

1:08:51Ben Mandelker: Well, I feel horrible now that I am the one experiencing it. I never had chance to apologize. I never gave you a chance to kill my chickens. And so, therefore, I brought a live chicken here named Ginger. If you would like to stab her to death, I want you to be the one to do it. Please, get the revenge you deserve. Let us go to Stephen's house and you could put shoes in the dishwasher. Please, at the very least. Well, she goes, you know, I never had a chance to apologize or tell you my side of the story. And I love it. She's like, yeah, I don't need you to tell me your side of the story. Okay, because the drama now between you and Masha, I mean, it's affecting the boys.

1:09:26Ben Mandelker: Okay, it's just not okay. If I have to hear one more time that Steven could not attend to the car washes because he had to take you to past the villa one more time, I just can't deal with it. Okay, it is evil. It is malicious. And I really just want the chaos to end. Okay, well, you could always get the new hairstyle. I'm not talking about my split ends. Galena just like smiles tightly and nods like, this is not what this is supposed to be. And Chris is like, yeah, because now the FBI investigation is weighing on us and Stephen calls me at night and we talk to the morning about it and then all day and I'm asking you for your help.

1:09:59Please be less drunk and stupid. Okay? Please. And she's like, well, it's been stressful for me as well. Well, unfortunately I don't care. So, you can pull yourself together to help the boys. They need you and that might help too. I mean, if it makes you feel better go to the past clean their toilets okay you know what family is everything to us

1:10:23Ben Mandelker: a wise woman once said when you're here you're family and you're either with us or you're out or maybe against us how's that go again and they show coming up next week we see the family goes to nashville against all the girls wishes and cole they find a woman's boot in cole's room like wait, who slept with that girl from last night? Who did it? And then they show him waking up calling him being like, ugh. So nice, Cole. You couldn't even make it a fucking week after your phony ass trip with your girlfriend. Shame. I can't even believe they're going to Nashville in the middle of the harvest. Cole is needed.

1:11:04Ben Mandelker: You know. Fun times. Fun times. Thank you everyone for being here. Be sure to catch us tomorrow for some Real Housewives of Miami. Catch you in the next one. Bye, everyone. Bye. Watch what Crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alison King. It's always a party on Alison Block. Our way is the Amber way. It's the Foster and the Furious. It's Amanda Foster. She can run my country. It's Angie McGovern. It's always automatic with Ashley Otto. Put your hands together for Carly Clapp. Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. She's not just a Sheila. She's a Daniela. Itchles.

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1:13:57Ben Mandelker: She's the queen bee, it's Sarah Lemke. We cannot tell a lie, it's Sarah Talafson. Shannon, out of a can, and Anthony. Please don't stop, it's Soli and Pop. Let's take off with Tamla Plain. It's always a good time when you're wasting time with Bravo. She ain't no shrinking Violet Kuchar. We love you guys. This episode is sponsored by Nature Raised Farms. There are so many complicated things on Bravo. Like opening the front door on Summer House. Or figuring out how to wear a Linfinity dress. Or understanding Tom Schwartz's purpose on the Valley. In a world full of confusing choices, thank goodness for Nature Raised Farms.

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