#2968 The Valley S2E18 Part 2: When The S**T Hits The Fanet

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1:48Ben Mandelker: Happens when there's so much that happens. Hi, everyone. Welcome back. This is part two of a two-part recap. If you're wondering where part one was, well, go check in the feed and be sure to subscribe. So that way you always get your episodes. But enough of that. Let's get right back into the episode. So Kristen's like, yeah, I told Luke, we're going to skip season two and three, and then we can move forward. And he's like, I actually don't want to watch any of that. And I was like, I'm like, season two, I think is actually kind of an important season to watch if you're gonna get into a relationship with Kristen I think it's important to know but things like that so Andy is like Kristen when did you know Luke was the one um well when I would say the first six or seven months I was like very much into him but I was like I don't want to be and it's just like what I do I took relationship to relationship and we didn't live by each other it's all the logistics I'm just pushing it away like nothing's gonna work that's gonna work but like this is to be super fun and he's young he's eight years younger than me so sometimes i was like then when he said i love you i thought okay sure i'll do this one well let's just the the true answer is when did you know that luke was the one when he wouldn't watch vanderpump rules okay that's when corolla it's like the one guy on earth who wasn't going to try and use anything he could from vanderpump rules against me or like any kind of fame i would get from that so that's the one i'll take him.

3:11Pack him up.

3:11Ben Mandelker: Yeah. Yeah, exactly. So, basically, Andy asked them, like, when Luke said, I love you first, and Luke says that he said it, but then he backtracked, and they're just, they have a cute little story there. So then she shows off her ring and stuff, and Andy's like, wow, were you happy with it? And Kristen's like, yeah, it was perfect. It was way bigger than I told him I wanted. I was like, well, I'm not flashy, but you know, it's great. And Jason goes, wow, it's over four carats, right? And then the look that Janet gives Jason when he says this was so fucking good she just goes like she was so disgusted that jason jumped fence for even two seconds he's going to be in trouble on the way home he will babe um so christen's like i was absolutely shocked i knew one day for sure you know he was gonna do it but definitely didn't think it was gonna be on camera that would be crazy it actually something we talked about before and just not at that time and i thought maybe like next year or something like that all right well luke danny and nia you really need to be commended i mean christian is known for cracking cases you guys thought you were you and you guys were able to pull it off britney felt you felt left out that she wasn't included in the boat for the engagement why didn't you include britney knowing that she's one of christian's best friends and looks like yeah you can't trust fucking britney that's why i mean look at britney every every piece of gossip that has traveled this season has been through britney just so funny every time they ask like janet who told you this stuff britney hey zach who told you this stuff britney from last season hey who told who told on kristin saying that she michelle could be racist for this trump affiliation or whatever britney it's all all roads lead back to britney that's why and andy's next question is britney you ended up telling jacks about kristin's loose engagement oh my god worst mistake of my life worst mistake of my life how could you say that when you're sitting across from jacks i know well you didn't do that of revenge for not being included did you oh no no of course not okay even chris and luke now i did not do that at a revenge so jacks is like and i'm i'm i'm so sorry man i'm i'm so sorry i was i i don't know what i was thinking i just thought it'd be fun to you know be vengeful because I wasn't invited there.

5:33Ben Mandelker: I was the guy who was vengeful, basically. He didn't even say that, but he basically, I don't know what, he kept saying, I don't know what I was thinking. We know what you were thinking. You were pissed that you weren't on the cast trip, so you were going to try to ruin it. So Andy's like, yeah, do you put it in the group chat? And he's like, yeah, I don't know. I mean, and they gave me, Jesse gave me a hard time. I mean, I don't know. I'm sorry. I don't know what I was doing. I'm crazy. Well, how did you feel about Janet and Jason not coming to the Luau event to celebrate your engagement? Kristen's like, I mean, that was smart.

6:02You know, she could have come. But, like, you know, it was good that she didn't. And Jason's like, yeah, I mean, we wouldn't have come, like, with guns blazing or anything like that. Well, I don't think it would have mattered. But, you know, since they offered not to come, that was nice.

6:17Ben Mandelker: Well, I mean, they were, you know, they weren't in a good place at all. And, like, this is the happiest day of her life. And she doesn't necessarily want to see someone who she doesn't like staring at her. And Jan doesn't want to put on a T-shirt that has her face on it. So it's sort of like, okay, the thing that makes the most logical sense is just to skip it. So I think everything's okay now. Right, right. I'm smiling again. And he's like, all right, well, looking back, was it everything you could have hoped for a Christian beyond like beyond? Absolutely. I mean, my initial goal was to get married in a bed bath and but it was beyond it was beyond.

6:48And, you know, like the favorite part was like at the end of it, I got to call Janet a stupid whore. So that was fun.

6:53Ben Mandelker: Very, very romantic as someone who never exaggerates. I can say with authority that it was the best engagement in the entire history of engagements. Every single alien told me so. I had plans to get engaged at a big lots parking lot, but they're closed now so this is the next best thing, Andy. Well, I have to say, Kristen, having known you for so many years on and off television, you've always had a certain level of chaos surrounding you and it's been really fun to see you more mellow. No. Just forced to not drink for nine months. You know, Kristen, there are just those people that no one wants to sit next to on public transportation.

7:37And sometimes you look at those people and you think, why can't the person in that seat and the person in that seat, who are both people I don't want to sit next to, sit together and give me a free seat? And you two have done that. So I just, for all of America, thank you. Thank you.

7:54Ben Mandelker: And Kristen keeps doing this thing that she did. She did it all over a union. She has this really goofy laugh. She's like, oh, oh, oh, oh. Yeah, I'm much more chill now. I'm much more chill. Luke, he calms me down.

8:13Ben Mandelker: It's like the goofiest laugh she's ever done. So yeah, wow. You two really seem to compliment each other. I've already sent you those little pine cones you wear around your neck for your wedding gift. So congratulations, you two crazy kids. All right, let's take a break. Okay, we're back. Fittingly, Kristen and Luke's Hawaiian engagement was capped off with a few volcanic eruptions from their friends. Jesse, did you have a plan to confront crazy-eyed Aaron or have a conversation with him before you went? Well, I did always want to have the conversation. And I kept saying, well, you know, my girlfriend called Michelle to set boundaries, but Aaron never did.

8:57Ben Mandelker: And then I had this realization, well, I'm also a man and I could call Aaron and set my own boundaries because that's what men do. They go up to other men. They put one hand on their shoulder, another on their chest, try to keep their erection from hitting his erection and say, I'm setting a boundary right now. And then if the erection does hit the other erection, we have a sword fight. then whoever wins the sword fight gets to mark a map and that's how maps were made andy by men okay well i'm both repulsed and slightly excited by this story were you happy with the conversation does anyone want to make a map with me it was a good conversation i love that we see the clip and he's like aaron did you ever stick your wiener in michelle and aaron's like no no no no yeah michelle what did erin tell you about the conversation when he got back to your room i mean he said it went well overall and i think they got along in hawaii i mean you saw the lap picture and we saw the we see this picture of like jesse sitting on erin's lap and then he's like okay well i'm glad things are positive between you and erin i mean we're gonna to have to eventually move forward and you know they're happy they want to move forward so like what's the point of holding any animosity except for torturing michelle which is the day you can have an enemy or you can have somebody you don't really like but that's always got good coke so i went with the latter okay all right kristin you leveled an insult to janet when you told britney in hawaii that she was a fan of vanderpump rules well being a fan of the show isn't creepy you know but um it's like she just changed when season one happened you know like i mean there's stuff that even that happened that i didn't even bring up like when jack's jack's brought my ex boyfriend and i see her fucking interview bites and she's like blaming me for a relationship with that guy she was literally one of my best friends and then we see a clip of janet being like oh really and she's making it sound like that guy was a bad boyfriend when like i saw that relationship Kristen and he was in a relationship with crazy Kristen yeah not a great girlfriend moment at all so Kristen's like and you're sitting there bad mouthing me on camera and I was floored and Andy's like well did you befriend people like Sheena and Kristen to get on TV?

11:25Ben Mandelker: Jan's like no not to get on TV just to be on television sets honestly I just I want TV is a legacy media I just wanted to be streaming if I could make it onto Pukok that would be great for me my dream is a little girl was to make it onto vcrs but you know dreams evolve as we age auntie so i mean you guys are making it sound like i have good as gold posters in my room i'll bet you have every song released on vanderpump rules on your fucking music app on your phone you know she does so do i so well if you were on this show trying to start fights with kristin i'd bring it up so jenna's like i mean that person to join the show though we'd be exactly what kristin is accusing janet of we'd be on that show like um i'd love to fight with you right now sorry i'm sorry i'm an asshole could you please give me like um 10 of your what were they called can i please have like one of each of each of the prime cocktails if kristen ever came for me if kristen ever came for me and i wanted to make up there be like anybody love you like i'm loving you like i'm loving you like i'm loving you just start screaming it's not about the pasta every two seconds we'd be the worst but yes janet is a fan but she's like well whatever you guys are making it sound like it's crazier than it is and she's like no i think that you're trying to be someone that you're not okay and janet's like well i mean sheena would have loved if i sang good as gold or head posters she would have loved that so so much god i hope she'll sign one do you think she has any posters in her in her ass i think you've developed an alter ego oh i would love to be on that show too i you know i can really sing very well as an ai character shut up that's who you are on camera fan it fan it and janet's like um i didn't change when we got on camera.

13:21Ben Mandelker: They told me I had to stay in the same outfit that I was in. So I did not change. We were bad for a year before filming. Don't forget, I was a bitch to you on camera because we were already in a fight. She's like, Janet, it's like you have an alter ego. That's you act like on camera. You act like someone different than when you're on camera. I love that Janet's alter ego is even really boring and nobody likes it. She's like, you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to come up with a new personality for TV and it's terrible and boring. She's like, you know what my new, persona is going to do it's going to make really really terrible microwave food and have a low hood watch out watch out so um just like oh well there's no specific examples and dan's like well we've shed so many examples okay and how many do you need jason this entire reunion is about how much janet sucks and jason's like give me one example give me one single example daniel's like they are so many so jason goes oh man you guys didn't even know us before we started filming and and janet says yeah i didn't know you two basically danny and nia and nia's like okay you weren't the first couple to come over and meet our children our daughters when they were born back when it was one under one and then two under two come on now yeah the first couple dancing out with our son in our living room.

14:42Ben Mandelker: We didn't know you before we were filming. He's like, well, that was when we were getting to know each other. And Jenna's like, yeah, that was one time we went to your house. I've been to your house one time, okay? She's like, oh, one time we didn't go to LACMA together. We haven't spent time at group gatherings together. We loved you guys. We loved you guys. You were the first friends to meet our daughters. Oh, for Christ's sake. Don't hold that over somebody's head. It's not like you could leave the house, you know? Also shocking, I mean, I think this is the first time a museum has ever been mentioned on the Valley or Band of Pump Rules.

15:17Ben Mandelker: She said we went to LACMA together, which is the big museum here in L.A. I was like, wait, they know there's a museum here? It's amazing that Janet went to a museum basically named after her personality type, LAC. So Jason's like, well, we really hit it off. And he's like, exactly. So don't you dare say we weren't friends. You danced with my newborn.

15:41before filming. That's wrong. That's wrong. More lies. I mean, aren't her babies really young? That would make sense that they met them right before filming. I think this kind of tracks. It does track, but I think Nia wants people. But it's mean to say. Nia thinks that relationships are real when they're not really real. They're like some fake bullshit LA relationships. Some people from the cast came over to meet your kids and get to know you before you started shooting because the show is about being friends. And you were like, these are real friends, Daniel. Do you remember how she did the grapevine with little Nathan?

16:14Whatever it's now. Little Brooke.

16:16Ben Mandelker: Whatever. Well, it's like when Brittany wanted to have everyone over so we could all just hang out. Like Morris, she had a pool party. And you, me, Michelle, and Brittany were all hanging out. And Nia's like, yeah, I can't stand them lying over and over and over again and over and over and over. and Janet's like well I mean why did you ask me if you were welcome in my home for Ariana's birthday if everything was perfect back then how about that well I didn't say it was perfect because by the way we're back to my argument with Janet not Nia's I didn't say it was perfect I'm saying you and I were friends for a long time and then when you started filming you acted differently well when we started filming you announced that I said Michelle was racist which I didn't and that changed a lot for me I just said she probably could be racist because she's a trumper that's very very different okay we still haven't gotten to the bottom of that and you see michelle gulp you know when she says that she's like yeah you said i said michelle was a racist and they just cut to michelle she's like oh when she goes it's like a real like a cartoon gulp it's like gulp gulp so andy is like all right janet on the boat unless i don't know why you said danny had sexually assaulted jasmine is everyone ready for this part because it's gonna be a fun one you just made peace with Danny and Nia in the pool why go there well honestly once he started talking Kristen said you've been attacking Danny and Nia you've been attacking Danny and Nia and I just felt like I'm not attacking somebody this guy did something pretty horrible and I think we need to address that and it was like serious the thought was serious and she thought it was serious and you know I used a legal term for the definition because you know I had just watched Judge Judy earlier that day which was basically passing the bar and i also did pass a bar and had a cocktail and kristin's like well it had been addressed 40 times and she's like well why did you bring their names into that conversation because you would talk them so i was being a bitch okay well i guess the reason i was talking about danny and neo was because of his actions then that's why that is why well kristin said you were attempting to ruin someone's life who doesn't deserve it were you she goes um i guess if i'm talking about things that you did i think you were responsible for your actions so not me talking about your actions.

18:30So if the allegations weren't true, that would absolutely be on me that I was trying to ruin your life. But I think that you put your hands on women without their consent. You have to own up to that, which is true, but he did own up to it multiple times. He's still owning up to it. He actually did. But good point. He did.

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21:07Ben Mandelker: and andy is like so touching someone's butt is sexual assault yes andy are you just just hearing that he's like oh god we need to have new rules and watch what happens live bartenders i consulted the law firm of dave and busters and it is confirmed that is the definition like and jason's like well actually it's it's actually battery exactly yeah we looked it up and technically it is, but it's like, oh, not great. And it's like, battery? So Jason's like, yeah, because you're touching and the salt isn't actually touching, the battery is touching. You know, saying those words are so powerful, battery.

21:49Ben Mandelker: I mean, we just invest in the shoulder power, so when you say things like battery, it just shows upsetting. So Janet's like, well, we don't do these things that classify as a definition of them, okay? Well, don't do those things. And Janet's like, well, I owned up to it, though. He owned up to it, taking accountability, and will continue to because that's his character. And he's like, basically, we just had this talk in the pool the day before making up and agreeing to be in a good place. And then you do this, throwing these words around the very next day. And Janet's like, well, when I'm being told I'm attacking you guys, I'm going to respond by attacking you guys.

22:25I mean, that's just how being accused of attacking goes. I don't know what you want me to say. and Kristen's like Melissa haven't even told you to shut up and Jason's like um you're collateral damage in this conversation because uh between Kristen and Janet basically I guess and Danny's like but you attacked me and Kristen's like yeah Melissa's literally yelling at you to shut up so Andy says okay you guys know you're using a loaded term here right and Jasmine says it and Jasmine's like well definition like she's not wrong she's not wrong I mean that is the definition and Janet says, well, when Jasmine and I first talked about this, I said to her when, I said to her when she said he was grabbing, you know, this person's ass, Melissa's ass, my thighs, making sexually explicit comments, call me daddy.

23:11I said, you know, that sexual assault and she said, yes, and it's not fair and this happens all the time to women and none of these guys, none of these idiot men, I think you said, that's what you said, none of these idiot men, right? Jasmine's like, mm-hmm, yep, yep. Do you want to say it now also to back me up here? No, I'm not going to say it. I'm not going to say it.

23:29Ben Mandelker: Well, none of these Ditty men ever have to face consequences for it. I mean, I'm not going to dispute any of that. I think it does happen all the time. I think it is bullshit. And I do think that guys get away with it all the time. But I'm not sure that Janet right now in this moment was the ambassador for this movement that we needed or was appropriate for the show. Well, and again, it's not about whether Danny did it or not or whether it was right or wrong. She's making it about that again. But it's not. The question is, why do you keep bringing up over and over and over and over and over and over again every time you need something in a fight?

24:05Like, Danny wasn't even in this fight.

24:06Ben Mandelker: And, like, ultimately, Kristen did 100 % bring Danny and Nia into this fight on this boat. Like, they were having a talk, and Kristen brought that up. She inserted it in. She is, in many ways, responsible for resuscitating this whole thing. But Janet, even if she felt all these things, because she's basically saying like, oh, like you're saying I'm attacking them, but this guy did something like that. She, in the interest of actually trying to make things better, I think she should have said, I'm not getting into the Danny and Nia thing. Because it's already been talked about to death, including right now, but it's been talked to death.

24:43Ben Mandelker: And if she had a genuine interest, I think, in rebuilding that relationship, I think she would have said she could have still maintained her feelings. It's not saying that she would have to suppress her feelings. It's saying my feelings on this, I'm not sharing it with you, Kristen, because you are my enemy right now. And like, is it worth having collateral damage on someone you're trying to repair with just to make a strong point to someone you don't like? Is that really worth it? I don't think so. This show is exhausting me. So Kristen's like, well, you're trying to make them look bad. Janet's like well we should definitely sweep that behavior Under the rug And everyone basically is yelling at her like We're not sweeping it under the rug we've talked about In 9 million god damn times The rug is whack Oh my god Whack rug So Jesse's like the only person that should be able to say What it was is Jasmine and Melissa And Janet goes well and Jasmine's agreeing with me Look at her Jasmine agree with me Jasmine's like Yes no No yes nope nope nope well that's why I'm a listener stop talking about it Janet nobody wants to talk I think Jasmine's having an episode over there so Janet's like and after she asked me to stop talking about it other than when I've had to in interviews I apologize to them and I have stopped and Jasmine's like yes and thank you for that it was like we were are we ever going to get past this because now I'm getting angry and it's going to make me angry at Danny all over again should I get angry at Danny again should I set us up for season 3 everyone we need to have a talk we need to have a talk okay we're gonna have a talk so andy's like okay by a show of hands who thinks janet was being reckless in using that term so everybody but michelle jacks janet and jason raise their hands and uh jasmine and britney kind of have to well britney's kind of trying to be non-committal because she's like playing with the scrap on her dress or something so she's like oh well i'll raise my hand and she can tell the other side of catch.

26:33I didn't raise my hand. I was messing with my dress. That's the most awkward question I've ever heard in my whole life.

26:42Ben Mandelker: My life. You're a cool guy. You're the coolest guy I've ever met in my life. Life. Jasmine's like, she's like, I think she was coming from a good place, but at the same time, I think it just went wrong. And Chris is like, I want to know what you were trying to accomplish, okay? She was coming from a malicious place. What were you trying to accomplish by saying the word on repeat who were you trying to destroy and jen's like what would you prefer groped molested like what what word would you have preferred he's like molested

27:18this is like literally this cast has not learned this is the dumbest thing to keep bringing it up with janet over just let it go she's gonna make it worse every time she's like what would make it what would make it better should i say grope molested yes great you know i think it would have been better i mean

27:41i mean what do you want me to say

27:46Ben Mandelker: max weld um so jasmine is basically like saying to zach like i think she's trying to help uh be a good friend, but I don't think it's working. So, he's like, we need to clear this up. And he's like, okay, okay, Jason, as an attorney, is this defamatory possibly? We're going to stop attorney. Like, give me a break. That is a paper pusher attorney over there. I'm so sure. We've seen Jason's attorney skills during this reunion. But okay, let's go with it. So, Jason's like, oh, school. What? I also went to law school. Yeah, that counts. He's like, you're a fucking workman's comp attorney. Give me a break.

28:29And Andy's like, well, nothing could happen in a court of law if she had pressed charges for touching his ass. And he's like, well, I mean, I doubt the DA would pick it up because there's not really a lot of damages. You know, it's like a bad thing happened, but it's not like, you know, he'd do jail time or anything like that. And Janet's just like... Andy is like... Home, dead, or Jason. God, everyone's name is so basic on this show, I get them confused.

28:53Ben Mandelker: So Andy is like, so then if it's no jail time, no damages, why would you use the term? Thank you. Thank you. She's an evil person. She's an evil person. And I told Danny, you should study her next time you want to hide in the grates and try and get method for a role. She loves to hurt people. She loves to hurt people. And she loves the drama. And she loves the attention. That's what she loves. Okay. You wanted to say what I just think there needs to be clarity because there are words and things that are thrown around that are not true You've said multiple times this has happened multiple times over and over again And when you say multiple times like I'm saying multiple times multiple times just in this paragraph You're literally trying to assassinate his career as a person his character as a person multiple times So to put things out there that have not happened or not okay and if I have to say this multiple times, I will say it multiple times.

29:52Janet's just like, okay. Well, you know those words can ruin. She goes, yeah, well, there's lots of words that have been dropped among this cast that can ruin people. Okay, so now she's switching to the victim. Someone said green bean.

30:08Ben Mandelker: Green bean can destroy a person's career in the right contexts. Just think about it. Think about it. Well, you said that Michelle was a whore on camera, Danny, and he's like, I didn't say that. He never said those words. It's another lie. Well, you said I heard that Michelle sleeps with a billionaire for a$1 ,500 a night on camera. Is that not damaging her reputation? No, we're just establishing it. I mean, I never shed a whore. Yeah, you're lying, Janet. Putting bad words out there. And so then Jason's like, are we not allowed to paraphrase? You learned that in law school, too, by the way. Great argument.

30:40Ben Mandelker: Michelle's like, she's saying this is damaging for everybody. Google my name. now it seems that i'm a hooker now we all agree it was shitty that jesse said this and maybe danny shouldn't have brought it on camera either he claims he didn't remember there was a camera i don't think if you look up michelle lally is we're not going to find like a porn hub page for her or some sort of escort service i don't think anyone thinks michelle's a prostitute and i don't think it's like out there as like a massive headline everywhere but maybe this was what Jesse did too. I mean, Danny brought it up on camera, which wasn't cool, but again, they all do that on these shows.

31:17And that's what Jesse did by putting in the group chat. He wanted it to get on camera. I mean, he knows that Danny or Jax is going to... I think he dropped it for Jax to say something, you know? But Danny beat Jax to it, because Jax was in, you know... Danny fell into the trap. He definitely brought it on camera.

31:36Ben Mandelker: So, Kristen says, she's like, Daniel, never said Michelle's a whore. I love when Kristen calls him Daniel. To show complete alliance with Nia, I will call him Daniel at this moment. Yeah. So Jason goes, okay, prostitute? Janet goes, yeah, Danny said that she's sleeping with men for money. No, she said that Jesse put that in the group chat. You twist her. Well, what a bunch of dumb asses. They're just dumb asses. I can't. Oh, but you have all this wrong. It's wild. It's wild, Janet. I feel stupid listening to them talk. all right all right let's move on speaking of feeling stupid for listening to people talk i need to wrap up this reunion so let's move on okay so after the gang returned home from hawaii michelle threw a zen party but all the koi fish and bonsai trees in the world couldn't bring peace to this chaotic friend group britney the last time we saw you and zach together on the show he was screaming at you do you guys want to fight some more for us oh my god i love zach so much we're like besties you know i love you zach i love you so much you know like we talk all the time like every day or every other day or like five times a day every day because i love you zach you know nobody loves you more than me friend date noise friend date noise so you two are good oh yeah i love my best friend my entire life okay and he's like so you've been buddies for what like 20 years Can we just destroy I mean I don't understand how you guys have a friendship for 20 years and you're on Bravo and it hasn't even crumbled yet What's going on here?

33:12Well, the way we met is I used to cheer for EKU Go EKU! Go EKU! And Our Bascot is the emu, which is real fun Eku emu! Eku emu!

33:26Ben Mandelker: We gave an honorary degree to Ekansu the other year Ekansu, she actually dressed up like the emu for EKU I can see what he was. It was a great time. And one of my friends cheered with me. He dated Zach. And Zach's like, you dated a cheerleader? Yep. And then me and Zach stayed best friends eventually. And the other guy got crazy. But let me show you a picture of Zach. It is so cute. This picture of Zach comes on. And can I just say, Zach's hair, even the helmet hair of last season, was a great improvement over what we saw in this picture. Good Lord, man. He's always had a Lego man fetish. This was all combed down, like straight down and shellacked straight down.

34:07Like he looked like another version of a Lego head.

34:10Ben Mandelker: It was awful. I forgot that Zach used to look like that because he used to pop up in Kristen's, I mean, in Brittany's photos for years just when she was on Vanderpump Rules. I was always like, who is that gay with the strange bangs? And, yeah, I forgot. He has really, he has made things better for himself for sure. Yeah, definite improvement there. So, Danny, Jack stopped inviting you to things. uh why do you think he's like well i think he did it because he wanted to be able to talk behind my back and say things like danny's not here because he's drunk somewhere when i was literally at home putting our kids to bed drunk so i guess i guess i was somewhere drunk all right is that why you said you heard that jackson slept with the staff at the bar you all have heard that rumor right and jack's who i mean what's a staff member i mean tell me who i've had you know what i've got like two girls that work there three people who work there i mean who could who could it be i'm like you're really narrowing the field actually jacks you're making the rumor sound actually better like it doesn't work that way there was a rumor about one of them i figured that one wasn't true you know unless there was another girl i don't know about but there was definitely room there was room yeah yeah there was a rumor but i never slept with my staff i don't i don't do that i I mean, blowjobs, sure.

35:30Ben Mandelker: But sleeping with, nah. Okay, maybe once, maybe twice. All right, slept with all of them. I mean, not that big of a deal, but I don't know where you hear these rumors from. Well, I heard from some of your friends that go there quite often. Oh, well, we make jokes about it because it was at a bar. So like we make jokes that I fuck everybody, but you know, it's just a bar. That's what you do at bars. All right, all right, what you do. Looks like, well, you came in with one of your ladies to a bar where I was at, and I don't know if you guys went home or banged or not, but we were having mixed something.

36:02What'd she look like? What girl?

36:07Ben Mandelker: I don't know if it was a girl from the bar, but it was a girl. Blonde. Blonde girl, big boobs. Going down on you right in the middle of the bar. It was really awkward for everyone there. You don't remember that? Jax Taylor should not own a bar. He's got a lot of issues. All right, Jesse. I heard that even though she wanted to do nothing with the season, your girlfriend came to Michelle's Zen party. Oh, my gosh. How did they not get this on camera? That girl showed up? Yes. It sounds like they did. And then she probably issued some sort of like, you know, cease and desist. Because Jessie is like, yeah, at the end of the night, I was supposed to be at a birthday dinner for her at Chateau.

36:48Ben Mandelker: And, you know, she called and said, are you guys done? And I said, yeah. So she came by. She left her own birthday party to come to our shoot. which everyone would totally do. That totally makes sense, right? My story pans out. That is weird. She was at a birthday dinner at Chateau. Well, I guess they shot late. So she came after her thing. So Michelle, how were your interactions with Jessie's girlfriend? And Michelle, like totally, by the way, illustrating why she's on the end of the couch. I mean, Michelle, this reunion is just like, are you dogging to me? Yes, Michelle. How did you react to the girlfriend showing up?

37:21Not very well, but I cannot discuss it because my lawyer told me not do discuss. Yeah, that's what lawyers do. As a lawyer, let me just tell you, sometimes a lawyer will come in and say, please don't discuss that. I'm a lawyer. Shut up, Jason.

37:37Ben Mandelker: Well, I heard that you had a massive screaming match after the cameras went down, the sort of screaming match we would have loved to have shown on Bravo and put in all the trailers, but we couldn't because this bitch gave us a cease and desist. Yeah, she told, she's told not to talk about it because of her threats, okay? That's what Michelle is doing. She's because the girl's friend's friends. And that's why she's not wanting to talk about it right now. I don't know if she'll ever be able to talk about it for the rest of her life. Can we not do this in the next season? Like all this talk about legal bullshit?

38:05This is bullshit. We're not going to talk about this because she's not here to defend herself. Okay, guys? And everybody knows that I, Jesse Lawley, am nothing if not a gentleman. Thank you.

38:19Ben Mandelker: so Andy is not happy because clearly there's some good ass footage that they can't show and he knows about it and he doesn't like Jesse doing this thing of like she's not here to defend herself well I know but she did show she showed up at an all cast event and then she made a legal threat so and it was very clear that everybody was still filming Aaron was still spinning the honey sign around and around well they picked up cameras and put a boom over our head as soon as she walked in the restaurant as they should have and this is where andy goes from like smiley tv host to like angry tv executive and he's like as they should have they were doing their job and if your girlfriend showed up today you know what i would do stick a mic on her and get her in there this is a hot set this is a show called the valley that's your girlfriend i want to talk to her bring her out let's get her on the phone you understand yeah i love the pause he goes i get her on the phone and jesse's like okay you understand like whoa do you understand was great it was because it because andy's 100 right this person went to a taping a lot it's a hot set as andy said like it's active even if the cameras are down those cameras will always come up if given the chance like she went there and then she's all of a sudden like oh no like don't film me i'm gonna of a season to say, oh, get over it, lady.

39:41Ben Mandelker: Stop it already. And she's angry that people call her litigious, and this is what she does. I've had enough of her. Well, now for some final thoughts. Okay, you know, reunions are really about love and finding a way forward. Alright, everybody. So, Michelle, now you have another chance to say something nice about Jessie, which you refused to say in Santa Barbara. She's like, well, he is a good father, and I never wanted to dig Isabella away. I did want to ask her to get a job to help him pay his rent so she wouldn't be homeless out of the time. But, you know, seeing all the moments you guys have together on camera is very dodging.

40:18And I Michelle is really out of batteries. So let's move on. Let's change the question because that one sucks. OK, Jason, do you feel resolved? He's like, well, it's tough. You know, I wanted things to go differently. I wanted people to hate Janet less, and I think everyone hates her more. I feel America asking us not to sit at their lunch table right now. And as a lawyer, I object.

40:45Ben Mandelker: Zach, do you have anything you want to say to the group? First, did I have to really be on this side of the reunion? I hate it over here. Also, I mean, I think at least one person. Janet, I feel like if you can take accountability for the things that you've done, and I'll take accountability for the things that I've done, which is nothing, and we can move forward and make Brittany's life just a little bit easier. Yes, please. I would love that. Okay, maybe we can start by unblocking each other on socials. And Janet's like, he is unblocked. Oh, yeah, she unblocked me, but then I blocked her. Whoops.

41:18Sorry, yeah. But you want me to unblock you now? Because I'll do it now. I'll do it right now.

41:24Ben Mandelker: So they unblock each other and Jason goes, oh, does anyone care that I have Zach blocked? He goes, oh, you do? I didn't even notice.

41:34who's missing those sponsored dockers posted nobody uh so or dockers posts i should say all right uh jacks congratulations on your sobriety might i add lol so i hope you keep building on that nothing that you've established okay where's your headspace as you leave tonight and why is there a black car waiting outside from you from a guy saying get outside with the money or I'm leaving.

42:00Ben Mandelker: You know, my main objective was just obviously just talk to Brittany and just move forward and be peaceful to each other and be amazing co-parents for our son and just be peaceful. And, you know, I've done a lot. I've done a lot. And I'm hoping that she can forgive me one day. I'm not saying today. If she could do it today, that'd be great. If she doesn't, she's sort of a bitch for not. I don't know. But we have, you know, we're going to be in each other's lives for a long time. And it's a lot. And I just hope she can find it in her heart to forgive me one of these days. I don't know. I'm a work in progress, guys.

42:31Ben Mandelker: Work in progress. I love that Jax's final line on Bravo is begging for forgiveness. As usual. As fucking usual. Will, is tonight a good start, Brittany? She's like, I don't know. It's hard. Because it's going to take a lot for him to prove to me that he's actually changing. You know what? I'm sorry. But I need to feel pretty. Okay? I need to feel wanting. I need to feel like I'm a good-looking lady. Okay? Maybe a date night. Maybe. All right. Well, it is tradition to end with a toast, but with two new babies on the way, tequila shots didn't feel like the right move. So we were doing vodka shots instead.

43:07Ben Mandelker: Okay, everyone. What was that? Oh, mocktails. All right. That's lame. In baby bottles, just to torture Lala. Okay. Who in the group is the toast giver? And so Jason goes, actually, it's Brittany. Oh, fuck. That really backfired on me. Okay, Brittany, you have the floor. All right, Brittany, bring us out with a toast. She's like, do not eat toast. Put the toast down. Put the toast back in your purse. Oh, I'm sorry. Okay, just want to say, everybody, I love you so much. I love you so much. You're all good people. I love you so much. You know, because we're all good friends. This is hard. This is hard what we do.

43:50But, you know, we do it. And we're people. And people are people. You know what? Dark night.

43:57Ben Mandelker: You know what? There are good ships, and there are wood ships, and there are ships that sail the sea, but the best ships are the ships where you can go on a caboose cruise around the island and have both your friends, right? Okay, well, may this upcoming year be the best days of our lives. Cheers, everybody. I hate all of you. Please recast this show. God, you are insufferable idiots. Andy looks like he fucking hates these people he went he was miserable miserable well i appreciate his sacrifices i appreciate everyone's sacrifices and uh thank you everyone for being here for the valley and um i'm excited for what else is coming down the pike on bravo schedule like you mentioned before it's a little thin right now like jack's hair like my hair sadly i can't really punch down like that.

44:52Ben Mandelker: But what I will say is that clearly Bravo is going to have probably scheduled turnover very soon. They usually start new stuff in September. Can't wait to see what that's going to be. But in the meantime, stay tuned for our recaps of Miami and OC later this week. And thanks everyone for being here. Have a good one. Bye. Bye. Watch what crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alison King. It's always a party on Alison Block. Our way is the Amber way. It's the Foster and the Furious. It's Amanda Foster. It's Always Automatic with Ashley Otto. Put your hands together for Carly Clapp.

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49:35And you can dip anything in there.

49:36Ben Mandelker: One thing I have been known to do is to stop over at McDonald's and go to the drive-thru and get myself a Caesar snack wrap and just dip some fries in the Caesar sauce. Also, McRispy strips in the Caesar sauce. Honestly, try it. It's really good. Listen, I say if you put Caesar sauce on something, that automatically makes it better. Yes, that's really all you need is the Caesar sauce. I think I just want to have just a constant supply of Caesar sauce and put it on things at all times. Yeah, I'm a straight up French fry and Caesar sauce kind of a boy. That's what I love, and that's how I'm going to go down.

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