#3016 Below Deck Med S10E01 Part 1: Inspain in the Membrane

0:00Ben Mandelker: Watch what crappens, watch what crappens, who cares what happens when there's so much that crappens.

0:21Ronnie Karam: Well, hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens. I'm Ronnie and that's Ben over there. Hello, you little Benoony. What's you doing?

0:28Ben Mandelker: hello hello i what am i doing i'm hanging out with you that's what i'm doing what are you doing

0:35Ronnie Karam: what a lovely time for you it is same welcome to the show everybody today is below deck mediterranean day super important return with captain sandy in the asia uh super excited to talk about whatever mess this is going to turn out to be. Join us Monday night for Crappy Hour. That's our live show on Instagram where we talk to you, talk about Bravo headlines, etc. That's at 5.30 p.m. Pacific time. Okay? Thanks for being with us. We'll see you there. Find information over on our Instagram. And if you want this on video, we do videos every day now for Patreon, video recaps. Watch them over there. If you want them for free, they come out a week later on YouTube, so go get them.

1:17Ronnie Karam: We also do bonus episodes. This week we're doing the Megan show on Netflix, Megan What's Her But. Love Megan. Love Megan. Guys, when Megan packs for a trip, she likes to make sure that she's packing things that go together. So it's like, I mean, she is dropping some major fucking knowledge on all of our heads. I've never really watched Megan do much. We recapped the interview she did with Oprah, right? Wasn't it Oprah? Yes, years ago. Years ago, we did that. And I was like, what is this lady talking about? So we had to check out her show, Love, Megan. And wow. Well, she's a basic B. I'll tell you that.

1:58Ronnie Karam: But it was fun watching it. And we're going to talk about it this week. So join us over on Patreon. But today, here we are for Blue Deck Mediterranean, Season 10, Episode 1, Raising the Bar-Celona.

2:13Ben Mandelker: Hmm? Hmm? I see what you did there. Oh, I'm so glad to be on Below Deck Med, mainly because I really disliked the last season of Below Deck. It really went downhill for me, and it was like every week was actually a bit painful. It got more and more painful as it went along, so to now have a reset button and to already have an episode that kind of returned us to some of the vibes of what Below Deck should be made me really happy. No Instagram walls, no like strange closeups of food and slow-mo shots, no like attempts to be flashy. We still have like that weird preference sheet meeting format, which it doesn't like bother me necessarily, but I just like the old way more, but like not a game changer for me.

3:00Ben Mandelker: It just felt like good to be back into like, like, like we, they, they experimented below deck. It was a failure for me. And now we're back to what we know best, which is like the below deck, you know, way of doing it show. like, et cetera. So I was like really happy.

3:14Ronnie Karam: Honestly, you know what's so cute about you? You're so like negative, but also so positive in the same breath because you're like that one sucks, but I'm being positive about this one. Well, I got news for you. This one's going to be the same as the last one. You can already tell they're doing their whole like, okay, we've got a girl who wants to fuck everybody on the boat. You know, we've got that, which we saw in the preview. We've got like every, it's going to be everybody fucking everybody. I think just like the other one, which I mean, I didn't mind. I didn't mind as much. It did start to bother me.

3:43Ronnie Karam: I do need more toilet cleaning, but I did appreciate that this one focused a lot on cleaning toilets. And then up to two. Yeah.

3:52Ben Mandelker: Yeah. You know what? Look, every Below Deck season, there's always going to be some sluttiness that happens. I don't mind that it's there. I just don't need it to be so centered. And like Below Deck thought it was doing something really clever and interesting by doing this. It was like how many episodes in a row was Fraser like, let me give you a little recap. Celine's kissing Jess. Jess is kissing Barbara. Barbara kissed Damo. Celine kissed Damo. Damo kissed me. Kyle kissed Celine. And I think we're all somehow supposed to put on a charger. And like, I'm supposed to sit here and like giggle at this.

4:24Ben Mandelker: I was like, okay, you're so proud of yourself for having something slutty. Congrats. You're only 20 years late. We all watched Rochelle and the hot tub in real world Las Vegas. This is like nothing new for us. so i just like i couldn't stand how much like they were they put it front and center and were like winking at the audience too and thought they were being so funny and so salacious and it was actually quite dull and really like what's more salacious to us is watching a jet ski um dangle from a chain and knock over a lamp like to me i'm like oh yes bitch that was it yeah i was yelling my house i was like yes get that lamp and then when it came back and got it again i was like oh

5:04Ronnie Karam: oh yeah you destroyed it finish it finish it and then captain sandy just holding onto the rope being like oh oh steady it steady it slow and

5:18Ben Mandelker: steady slow and steady okay come on let's give this jet ski a nap like that to me is below deck And it was nice to not have Fraser winking at the audience saying something like, that jet ski, if it crashes once more, we may not even have a charter. And that would be a terrible thing. I just got so sick of Fraser's little wink-winks at the audience that I just was so happy. Honestly, I've never been more happy to have Blow Deck Med on. I'm not even joking. Yes.

5:51Ronnie Karam: And she has a good haircut. Listen, I like when shows are like, we're going to improve by improving our cast's hair. Because you know what? A good treatment can really improve a lot. And I think it teaches us all lessons as Americans. Do your hair. Condition your hair. Do your hair. And get it to be a proper cut. Because, I mean, what a change. Now, let me tell you who's not changing her hair or her polyester capri pants. Miss Captain Sandy, okay? Captain Sandy. She even got to get upset about Mary Time Law right at the beginning, which I loved. Yeah. So Mary Time Law, our favorite housewife, showed up right in the first episode.

6:30Ben Mandelker: She was right there. And, you know, it's funny because you talk about Captain Sandy's hair because we actually saw pictures of her when she formerly lived in Barcelona. And she had a short little thing going on there. and it's funny because she's been going with her sort of like He-Man Bob for at least like seven or eight years. And it's like, she did make that change once in her life and now she's like, this is the look for me. And I think it is the look. I actually don't want her in any other sort of haircut.

6:59Ronnie Karam: Do you think she was like, Asha, you know, I really enjoy your positive attitude. You're basically a vocal hug, which I appreciate. But I don't want you back here unless you get my haircut. Okay. And then Asia's like, can I do it with more conditioning? She's like, you know what? Use whatever white rain you want to, okay? But you're going to have my hair cut.

7:18Ben Mandelker: Also, you know what I was really happy to deal with or not deal with? I was really glad that we didn't have to deal with that bridge in St. Martin. Like, I was really over that bridge. I'm still mad at that bridge.

7:29Ronnie Karam: I still have issues with that bridge. I resent the bridge. I resent that bridge for never being willing to open up enough. Like, do your job. Everybody else is doing their job. Why is nobody bitching that the bridge is not doing its job? Open wire.

7:41Ben Mandelker: I agree. Yeah. That bridge was the worst piece of concrete we've seen on below deck since those dolphins a few seasons ago. Remember the dolphins, the quote unquote dolphins that weren't actually dolphins. They were just like cement buoys to help like designate a shit parking spot. But then they have to worry about hitting them every single time. Like, look out for the dolphins. Be careful about the dolphins. Oh, I hated the dolphins. but the bridge came along and like, you know, it's just, dolphins are like a faint memory now compared to that bridge.

8:11Ronnie Karam: You know? Okay. So we see what's going to be coming in the season. If you want to see this, you can, um, Oh, I guess the end thing is what we did a bonus on the preview. So if you want to, if you want a preview of the season, you can check out the bonus on Patreon. Yeah.

8:28Ben Mandelker: They cut the trailer kind of in half. So they sort of have, It starts off with like a little bit of trailer. And then the end of the show is like more trailer. So we did actually cover this part, but they just sort of remixed it for this episode. But it's basically Nathan being like, Oh, I thought this season would be, would be easy, but it turns out it's hard. So.

8:48Ronnie Karam: Yeah. Boy, was I wrong. But in the end, it just turned into be the best because of this. And then we see a pregnant belly. And it's one of those things where like, look, it's the bosun and he can't put together a baby. you know, cage, whatever you call those, the baby crate. And I'm like, you're running the boat. This is supposed to be cute because you need to be able to figure shit like this out.

9:12Ben Mandelker: Also, you know, it's like not cute in general, whether you're a bosun or not, people trying to figure out like how to assemble baby, baby cribs. Like that's also been done. Like it's been like years. We get it. They're hard. Like every single person, every single like comedy thing bit like, look how hard it is to put together the script. You need to, You need to have a master's in engineering in order to put this stuff together. It's like, we get it. Honestly, just build your crib. Just build your crib. I don't need the whole bit to go along with it. Just build it.

9:41Ronnie Karam: Also, if men are this enough at putting together a crib, just put a blanket on the floor and put your baby on a leash. Like, seriously. Gather some twigs, make a little wall, and be done with it. Twig wall. Just put it in a box. you know like a box you get from amazon or whatever just throw it in the box like a kitten i mean for christ's sake do we need to be this fancy what did cavemen do they use their amazon

10:05Ben Mandelker: boxes isn't it surprising that there's not some like stupid hippie kind of like trends to be like we don't actually use cribs we we actually have a nest it's like we're like you actually build a nest with actual like branches like well one of our rituals is that we go out into the woods and we gather twigs and branches and we come home and we make a nest for our baby we actually feel like it's really important for a baby to be in a nest. Their baby's all Scarface. Just like scarred all over the place. They're just vomiting into their baby's mouth.

10:35Ronnie Karam: Don't know what Felicia Silverstone does. Doesn't she do the baby feeding where you, what is it called? Baby bird feeding where you chew up the food and then you spit it in your kid's mouth. It's disgusting. I really didn't think that was a real thing. I don't know how Felicia Silverstone's children weren't taken away. I'll tell you that much. She seems clueless. Yeah. So Nathan gives us this whole like I don't know how to put together a baby crib And then we see Nine months later So wait you got pregnant and then you left right When the baby was born What the fuck No

11:07Ben Mandelker: Ronnie it's saying nine months later Like He was having this horrible charter This season but then nine months later Pregnancy Not saying it was pregnancy Then nine months later he left to go on both. Although that would be very on brand for a below deck bosun. Totally. Well, I have a baby back in Fort Lauderdale.

11:28Ronnie Karam: Yeah, and then the baby could come out already a bosun. It could come out a bosun and then we'd see an Instagram wall of the baby and then it would just be like, I was abandoned by my father and that is why I don't like to clean my room at night.

11:41Ben Mandelker: The baby's trying to FaceTime its umbilical cord. It's like, ah. I have an umbilical cord in Alaska.

11:53Ronnie Karam: okay so he's coming from ireland and now instead of instagram walls or instead of the thing like last time where fraser's like hello chica it's me your chief stew would you all like to meet for a cocktail beforehand so we can get to know each other uh so instead of that we get people doing selfie cams from airports and stuff. So we start with him and he's, it's very hot, but he won't complain. And then we see Aisha and even in her FaceTime, she's just like, oh, I can see me. I look so cute. It's amazing. I don't live in a van anymore. And I'm getting married to school.

12:40Ben Mandelker: Here we are at the airport. I'm very used to it because I'm on amazing race New Zealand. Got my luggage and my love is helping me to drop me off. Here's Scott.

12:59All right.

13:00Ronnie Karam: So those are the ones we know. And now everything else is going to be a clusterfuck for the next four weeks for us in these recaps. Because, yeah, do you remember when Bravo for like, I think, two years was like, you know what? there is no diversity on this show. Let's bring in some diversity. And then they were like, nevermind. Let's just, you know what? Let's just go back to, let's just hire 20 blonde people. Okay. I want three blonde girls that nobody can tell apart. That's what I want. And so that's what we're getting this year. I don't know who the fuck anybody is. And everybody I saw, I didn't remember the preview, like who was who from the preview.

13:33Ronnie Karam: And I was like, which is the one who vows to fuck everybody on the boat? So I kept giving that personality to everybody. but I was trying to figure out who it was. And I still remember.

13:43Ben Mandelker: Is her name Priscilla? I think her name is Priscilla. So we have Tessa, or at least she, she at least looks like a Priscilla to me. So we have Tessa. She's traveling from Sydney. She's like, we're at the airport. It's crunch time. As in, I'm going to go get some Captain Crunch. That's why I always say, when I get off a plane, find me some Captain Crunch. I'm feeling a bit nervy.

14:02Ronnie Karam: Then we see Kizzy coming from London and she spent$4.95 on a bottle of water. Can you believe it? Yes, I can. That's actually cheap for an airport.

14:13Ben Mandelker: Have you seen the prices in America these days?

14:16Ronnie Karam: No kidding. Has America fallen that far that someone from London is like, can you believe how expensive water is? And we're like, oh, my God, that's a bargain. I'm moving to London where the real deals are.

14:28Ben Mandelker: I know. It's like$7 bottles of water at the supermarket. And then we see Christian, who is traveling from Sydney, and he's like the hot Colombian guy. And he's like, miss gave me her number from one of the napkins on the airline. And then we see Josh, who is our wacky chef. And he's like, I'm excited to get cooking. Let's hope my knives make it through security. Let's maybe not hope that happens.

14:56Ronnie Karam: Yeah. He's like, guys, let's hope that terrorism wins in the end. I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, sir, sir. um so christian this guy i don't believe that he got uh i don't believe that he got a um number a number i don't believe it i don't believe him i'm so sure he's like hi everybody my first selfie cam got a phone number on the airplane i'm sorry sir no i don't believe you i

15:23Ben Mandelker: do believe it you do yeah and here's why first of all he is attractive second of all we later find out he's a pilot, which means he knows exactly how to flirt with flight attendants. Like he knows exact, like he's, he's trained in this area. He knows the look to give or the signal to give or whatever. So I've, in fact, I actually almost think it's probably a sport for him to get numbers from flight attendants. It's just like his milieu. He gets it.

15:45Ronnie Karam: But do people even get numbers anymore? I mean, you're not supposed to give out your number. I don't even care if you stalk me. I'm just afraid of you like giving my number to spam people for money you know i don't want you to leak people do i think people do like instagram now aren't they like hey yeah give me a follow and then they make you follow them and then they unfollow you the next day i bet it's exciting to get a number that's never happened to me that is literally never happening i mean obviously but unless someone's like okay if you want to complain about my driving like if you count that you know because like i'll take the numbers on the back of the truck just in case they fuck up later down the road if you want to complain about my driving call 1-800

16:27Ben Mandelker: fuck your mother it's like guys someone actually gave me their number yeah and they were so discreet they left it on my windshield there was a dent in my door but i don't know what that was

16:38Ronnie Karam: about yeah and it said they gave me their number and at the bottom it says you better send me a copy of your license and insurance or i'm calling the police so sweet you guys so sweet so yeah i don't believe him um so then josh yeah i already hate josh because we know that he's like a wacky clown from the previews and listen nothing against clowns it's just that i hate you all of you yeah all of you get a job okay all of you and all these people in la that are like it's hipster to clown now you know what's hipster get a job okay bottles of water in london are 4.95 You're not going to afford that as a clown.

17:20Ben Mandelker: You know what? If you're working at Alamo, rent a car. Get to the airport and get behind that desk.

17:24Ronnie Karam: You know what kind of clown I like? A Cirque du Soleil kind of a clown. Like if you can't put your ankle behind your head, what are you even doing in this industry? No?

17:34Ben Mandelker: Whimsy clown. Yeah, I agree. The best is when you see someone like it happens so rarely. But once in a while, you do see it when there's like a clown on the way to a gig. And you're like in traffic and you look to your left. you see someone that's like a full on clown driving a car. That's my favorite when that happens. I think it's only happened like once or twice ever, but when it does, it's like, it feels special because it's like not whimsical at all. It's like, it's just like, you know, it's like, it's like seeing a Disney mascot with the head off. You're like, Oh yeah. You're, you're just sitting there listening to like 94, seven, the wave and just trying to get to this kid's birthday party right now.

18:10Ronnie Karam: It reminds me of those people on Hollywood Boulevard, like the dirty Spider-Man and the dirty Marilyn Monroe. you know like their costumes are all dirty also why does the maryland monroe wear white i know that's an iconic dress but girl you're rolling around on hollywood boulevard you're covered in soot pick something else didn't she ever wear brown anyway so the maryland monroe was talking to this lady on the corner of hollywood boulevard and they're like yeah yeah yeah and they're like friends and they kiss and then the other lady walked into the middle of the road and stopped and i was right in the front you know so she just kind of looked at me and she's like hi and like waved at me and then she's looking around and she's like oh liquor store I was like classy Marilyn Monroe real fucking classy

18:53Ben Mandelker: perhaps on theme she's just getting into character so she's method how dare you my favorite is like the stumpy Darth Vader or is it the stumpy Batman or is it like both like just It's like this short Darth Vader guy who's just like, you are not a cycle presence.

19:19Ronnie Karam: The Fred Flintstone wasn't making enough money, so he just put on a Darth Vader costume and went for it. Kind of. So basically, that's Josh. He's wacky. He has long hair. He loves clowning. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappens commercial.

19:37Ronnie Karam: So then we meet V, which hopefully she's an alien who eats rats hole. And she's coming from Miami. And she's like, this will officially be my first super yacht. I'm going to pop my super yacht cherry. And I'm so excited.

19:53Ben Mandelker: Yeah. And then people are arriving. And then we see this like weird thing. Sandy is like arriving in Barcelona and she has some sort of like runt crew. This is like the off season group. And I'm like, was this just a whole other season of Below Deck that they filmed? And we're like, yeah, this isn't working. I'll get them off the boat. Cause it's like a whole other crew. They have names and everything. There's someone named Ben. He's the chief officer. And like, we're doing it, Sandy. She does a whole docking. And then we don't like barely even get to see their faces. They just sort of like scatter off the boat.

20:29Ben Mandelker: I'm like, wait, wait, wait, wait. come back I want to get to know you

20:32Ronnie Karam: it's the crossing crew you know we learned that on Below Deck Sailing when Captain Glenn was like Gary you want to be on the crossing crew and he's like I'm committed to a woman and then the lady did the crossing crew with him and then they broke up on the crossing crew wasn't that something that happened on Below Deck Sailing yeah I forgot her name she was the worst we found out on there I think he was the worst but yeah she was bad too And then she had a baby, I think, the next year. But anyway, we found out that the crossing crew is like the hardest job ever. And it's super depressing because it's like working on a ghost ship and there's no one on there.

21:08Ronnie Karam: And you just, all you do is cross. And so everybody turns into an alcoholic and everybody goes through like their worst times. I imagine it's like a horror show where you just see all your past and all the mistakes you've made. And it's just all there, right? Right to rediscover during the crossing crew times. I think they should have a below deck crossing crew. and we can just slowly watch everybody go fucking crazy, you know, and all the guys start to be like, well, a hole's a hole, you know, that whole thing.

21:34Ben Mandelker: Yeah, I think that would be great. I feel like Willem Dafoe is on every crossing crew because I feel like everyone's losing their mind and eventually like you go up to a deck at one point and he's standing up there. It's like your first crossing. It's tough. It's not for everyone. Like, thanks Willem Dafoe. Yeah. He's been through it. I'm surprised he's actually not a captain of one of these below decks.

21:56Ronnie Karam: I feel like Christopher Walken's probably there just because he's in everything, you know?

22:01Ben Mandelker: The crossing is very hard. I don't know how to do this. I see a dolphin out there.

22:08Ronnie Karam: Is it a dolphin in my mind or is it a real dolphin?

22:12Ben Mandelker: No one knows. You've got to shammy the rail in order for it to look good. You've got to make sure the teak is waxed. If it's not waxed, it could get stained.

22:28Ronnie Karam: I'm like, do we? I'm loving being on this crossing crew. Do we finally find out what happened to Natalie Wood? Like somebody, somebody. Okay, so then this boat is called My Bravado, which is pretty funny. And I like that candy. No, no, no, no, no. It's called Motor Yacht Bravado, not My Bravado. Oh, yeah. No, it says My Bravado. Okay, so. My Bravado. I like that she still says motor yacht bravado because I thought that's something she just did for motor yacht home. Because, you know, it's weird to say like, welcome, welcome home or welcome to home. Yeah. So I thought she was saying welcome to motor yacht home.

23:06Ronnie Karam: But I guess they do that for everything. But, you know, it's like Bravo. So that's cute. Bravado. Yeah.

23:10Ben Mandelker: Welcome to. It's like Bravo with an ad in the middle. So Captain Sandy is saying, oh, Barcelona, it's the largest metropolis in the Med. from the history to the art to the culture to the food to the culottes to the capri pants to the cute little babs that you can get god i love barcelona they also have football or soccer i mean it's called football to them it's complicated should i start from the top

23:39Ronnie Karam: sorry just lesbian talking about balls i get carried away

23:43Ben Mandelker: oh if you look closely you can see gg fernandez uh hitting tennis balls at homeless people

23:49Ronnie Karam: What's weird here is they also call tennis soccer. It's a very confusing culture. Very, very confusing culture.

23:56Ben Mandelker: Although Gigi calls tennis my championship sport that I won a gold medal in.

24:02Ronnie Karam: Gigi actually tried to hit a football at the tennis racket. She broke her wrist. So she's not going to be on the first charter, but God bless her. Hope she's doing okay.

24:10Ben Mandelker: Fun fact, Norma finally went on a date with a soccer ball. Somehow it dumped her.

24:18Ronnie Karam: You know, it's a shame. Even the soccer ball couldn't get hard for Norma for too long in a row. Had a leak. It had a leak. Bloop.

24:25Ben Mandelker: The soccer goal. The soccer said it had goals, and Norma wasn't one of them. Norma didn't get the joke.

24:32Ronnie Karam: So we know that it's Asha who's walking up, because this is what we hear. Oh, it's gorgeous. Is that a boat? Is it? That's the most gorgeous boat I've ever seen in my life. She's hugging the boat. I can't wait. She's like, I'll always be here for you, Mooney Yard Bravada.

24:59Ben Mandelker: This is gorgeous, Sandy. Oh, whoa. They hug and yeah, she's like, oh, all these big life changes, Sandy. And Sandy's like, well, I'm, you know, I'm so proud of you. You finally cut your hair like a real captain. So proud. But it turns out she's engaged. And we know this because she goes, I'm engaged.

25:30Ronnie Karam: So she feels like Sandy inspired Scott. And we do see a picture of Captain Sandy proposing last season to her girlfriend. And they just say baby a lot to each other. She's like, yes, baby. I will marry you, baby.

25:52Ronnie Karam: Is that how she talks all the time? That's all we've seen of that lady. Is her going...

26:01Ronnie Karam: I think so. That's all she says. It looks like she was making a face and then somebody slapped her on the back and it stuck. And she's just like... So they kiss and we see Captain Sandy getting married. and it was like the bravos it was a lot of people there it was like huge stars

26:20Ben Mandelker: huge Kate Chastain was there Aisha was there Jill Zarin probably hiding behind a bus Jill Zarin shall I show them how to make a diet coke no then so Aisha's you know in awe of this yacht which by the way this is I think the nicest yacht we've ever seen this yacht is gorgeous it's just so nice and there's like wainscoting throughout it or something or beveling, beveled cabinets. It's like we've never seen that. Like I feel like every yacht has had these like super smooth like Tomorrowland surfaces. So I really love the detail. I just really appreciate the beveling. And Aisha is, now they're looking at the CVs of like the crew and Aisha is seeing that like, okay, you know, Kizzy is Kizzy Kitchener which by the way that's how you know you're going to be working service in your life because your last name is Kitchener that's how you know you'll be bringing things to and from a kitchen is if your last name is literally Kitchener Kizzy Kitchener

27:28Ronnie Karam: Kizzy Kitchener okay so who do we have well they're looking at Victoria and she doesn't have any housekeeping experience so Kizzy Kitchener is gonna she's a service to on a 100 meter boat and creating decorative imaginative table settings is my favorite quality in a person so then josh the chef comes and says hi to sandy and she's like whoa you worked at a michelin start that's crazy you good with a with the tire iron he's like yeah 11 years at michelin restaurants three in the clown car and four in prison so yeah yes we're not going to be docking next to any schools or churches, are we? I don't think so.

28:12Ronnie Karam: Quite.

28:13Ben Mandelker: Did you bring a tambourine? Any chance you got a tambourine in there? Sure do. Oh, yeah. He's going to be great. Between the Michelin and the tambourines. Get ready, America. Somehow the tambourine really makes the split ends work. So now Asia's looking around and everything is big. In the servant's quarters, it's like there's wide hallways and there's a big bathroom and she's like oh I think I think I'm almost going to be having this one look how big the bathroom is and Sandy meanwhile is waiting for Nathan Nathan reliable Nathan good old reliable Nathan and she's like hey text bloop Nathan hi so excited for you to come on board just checking for an ETA or are you just too busy getting getting women pregnant.

29:09Ben Mandelker: Okay, come on. I'm waiting for you. Thanks so much.

29:12Ronnie Karam: Estimated time of arrival from your sperm to an egg, I guess is what we're waiting for. I saw the preview. Okay. I like when the chef came to say hi and then he left. Captain Sandy goes, she looks right into the camera and she goes, this guy's going to be great. He's just going to be great. It's like famous last words. But yeah, she's texting him and she's excited to have Nathan because he's had a lot of experience on other vessels handling lines. Okay. so he's comfortable on deck he's trustworthy i don't trust nathan i don't know that he's ready for this and below deck keeps promoting people and i don't think that they're ready to be promoted no i just don't believe it you know they're like we like you're promoted now i don't know that he's ready he can't put together a damn baby crib okay he's not ready he's not ready he's not he's still

29:58Ben Mandelker: rocking his uh fryer tuck haircut so let's like it's like he's learned nothing you know yeah Yeah, I agree. So then people are going into cabins, et cetera. And then guess who's here? It's Max. He's like, hello, how are you, brother? Well, we hear his voice. But then we see Kizzy and Kizzy gets on board and says, hello. Oh, Kizzy, a little maestro. So happy to have you here. Kizzy is the one who in the preview is like, I want to hook up with every single person on board. so keep an eye out for her I guess I thought her name was Priscilla I don't know why that was but she sort of has Priscilla energy to me Kizzy Sky Kizzy

30:45Ronnie Karam: nothing is everything Sky Kizzy so yeah Max comes in and he calls her Susan he calls Captain Sandy Susan I didn't really get it and then he's like oh the French is here back to English I'm back baby I don't remember Max. I know I'm supposed to because they're giving him like returning star energy. Like, play his theme song. Max is here. It's like, here he is. It's Max. I don't remember Max. They even showed clips of Max doing like wacky things like backflips and stuff. And I don't remember him. I scrubbed him from my brain DVR.

31:25Ben Mandelker: He is so annoying. I don't know why Bravo is unleashing him on us again. He's so annoying. his whole thing was that he was like really lazy he was like a child and they were just trying to figure out ways to work with Max and get him motivated it was like the whole season was like how can we make Max want to work harder and he just was so like he was just he was draining I was like the fact that they are promoting him like look at this guy this iconic blue deckhand

31:54Ronnie Karam: contract negotiations are finally done we got him we got him paid an extra five lira. It's max. It's max, guys.

32:05Ben Mandelker: Yeah, this was not like very exciting. It's an Italian currency. Yeah, well, he can spend it in Italy.

32:14Ronnie Karam: So he's like, I was in Bali for a year because last season, you know, my energy was here, but my motivation was on the edge of burnout. And then we see flashbacks of him taking naps and stuff. and he is now cured guys because he did a little something that douchebags on bravo do to cure themselves it's called hypnosis okay i have a feeling it has something to do with ketamine because that's usually when there's a guy involved on bravo it's usually some kind of ketamine thing but um he did hypnosis and he changed everything let me tell you i did hypnosis multiple times in my life and i would still eat my fist right off of my arm okay hypnosis is bullshit i don't believe I don't believe it.

32:56Ronnie Karam: I don't believe it. Yeah.

32:58Ben Mandelker: Well, if it didn't work for James Kennedy, I don't think it's gonna work for anyone. So he is, he's like, yes, hypnosis, like a snap. Everything changed. That blew my mind. How powerful it was for me to go through this new age of inner peace. I'm like the new Mac on the new brand. I'm like, I hate to break it to you. You're the same, Max. You're literally, you're the exact same sad, annoying, Max. Max. Now I know why HBO. Now I know why. Oh, the original Max. I'm sorry. Go ahead. Now I know why Max got rid of Max being HBO Max. I'm just going to be quiet. It's HBO Max now, right? I know they had to dilute the Max of it all because this Max was so annoying.

33:43Ben Mandelker: That was what my joke was supposed to be.

33:45Ronnie Karam: Sorry. No, you didn't botch it.

33:47Ben Mandelker: No, it wasn't your fault. It was an ill-conceived comment from the kick. I can get my own show on E because I'm botching, botching everything.

33:59Ronnie Karam: No, it wasn't your fault.

34:00Ben Mandelker: It was bad. It was just bad innately. It was innately a bad joke. Bad. Bad sin. Bad.

34:09Ronnie Karam: Devotion is to the maximum right now. She's like, oh, you're not going to want to leave, right, Max? And she's just looking at him like, this wacky fucking guy. Who brought this guy back? Who brought this guy back? Would Norma not pick up his chamois this year? Anybody else but this guy. Please. And so we see flashbacks of Max threatening to leave like two days before the end or two weeks before the end. He's like, I'm going to go home. She's like, yeah, it's like two weeks. Got two weeks left. He's like, it's so hard. It is so hard.

34:42Ben Mandelker: But now we see on screen, it says new Max mentally engaged. I can't. So he's like, no, I'm here. I'm ready. You know, I am ready. Okay. Well, go check out the boat. Here's some nice beveling on the walls. I think you'll enjoy that. And it's going to be a great time. Guess what? You're going to have great food, this charter. Look at the camera. Just tell them. Say, this one's going to be good. You're going to love the way you feel. Do it. Hey there.

35:03Ronnie Karam: Maximum engaged max. Go check out that wall. Tell me if that's wainscoting or if that's beveling. And when you get an answer, call Ben. Okay? Go ahead.

35:14Ben Mandelker: Thanks. So it's 22 hours before charter. And then we get a text message from Tessa. Ding dong.

35:21Ronnie Karam: These boys, I've known them ever since they was just little scampions, I'm trying to say. It's Tessa from the cowboy show McBee Dynasty.

35:36Ben Mandelker: Well, previously with my digestive system, it's Tessa, I'm a new decade. I got horrible food poisoning and several people in my hotel did. But those boys, those McBee boys, they can't turn anything around. They're basically like my boys. I can't make it to the boat, but be there tomorrow could not be mercy.

35:53Ronnie Karam: Hi, Captain Sandy. It's me, Tessa. I'm going to be as honest as a pimple on the nose. Right? I'm shitting my brains out, girl. I'm shitting my brains out.

36:04Ben Mandelker: I hope you dance. My dribbledore turned into a floodgate. So, unfortunately, I'm going to have to stay in bed today.

36:14Ronnie Karam: So, Tessa attacks, and she has horrible food poisoning. a lot of people in her hotel did. So I think she was doing a little with Nathan because he also has food poisoning and she can't make it to the boat. So sorry. She's like, could not be more sorry.

36:31Ben Mandelker: Here's something I want to, I have a question about. I mean, food poisoning is truly the worst and it is so debilitating and you do like, it's just, everything's coming out from all ends at all times. It's like you're exhausted. You feel like the world is ending. But that being said, can't you like, can't you like just take the car ride from the hotel to the boat and then just be on the boat and ill as opposed to the hotel yeah yeah put a cork in it put a cork in your butt and just get here yeah i think you could do it but man it's tough it's like olita adams said can reach me by

37:07Ronnie Karam: airway. You can reach me by a trailway. I don't care if you're sitting in a cab. Just get here if you can.

37:18Ben Mandelker: Oh, she's... That concert's gonna be a good one. She's gonna be great. Well, guess what? These people are just gonna poop in their hotel and that's the way it's gonna be. So Captain's is like, oh God, I mean, what are we gonna do? I mean, fuck, where's Nathan? We don't even have Nathan, okay? And so now Asia is talking to Josh and he's getting in his ass and here and everything. And he's saying that he's been working in a boat for three years. He's like working Michelin kitchens. I mean, it's good because you become a great chef, but it's fucking intense. One time I was running him. Is he British?

37:50Ben Mandelker: By the way, I can't remember. I think he's British.

37:53Ronnie Karam: I think he's Australian. I don't know. I have a lot of Michelin kitchens in Australia.

37:59Ben Mandelker: I don't know. I don't remember either. I just don't remember. But he says, one time I was running a meat section at a kitchen and I was 20 minutes late on the check. The chef behind the pass grabbed me, pulled my head down onto the top pass like that and just screamed at me. I remember getting up and being like, yes, chef. I'm like, well, you were 20 minutes late. I mean, I don't support abuse, but I like he's like, well, I was 20 minutes late. I mean, you should get yelled at. Maybe not have your head pressed onto a hot surface and physically abused, but like also be better.

38:29Ronnie Karam: Well, he did get suspended for a week. So that's something. There was an HR at that Michelin place. So he has been in the BVI doing some work on Mosquito and Necker. I don't know what that is. British Verdetta restaurants. Oh, those are islands?

38:48Ben Mandelker: Well, I don't know about Mos... Let's see.

38:51Ronnie Karam: Let me look up Mosquito. He just comes back covered in hickeys and mosquito bites. That's what I like to think. Mosquito and Necker.

38:59Ben Mandelker: Islands. Necker Island is, that is Sir Richard Branson's private island. Shout out. And Mosquito Island, sometimes spelled Mosquito Island, is also owned by Branson. So he's been... It is not. He's been working for Dick. He's been working for Dick.

39:16Ronnie Karam: I've been working for my good friend, Dick. So Max comes and he's like, Hello, hello, new Max here, new Max. Oh, I guess you can just go in to pick a cabin because the Basin's not here yet. so get whatever you'd like so that's very exciting it's just take the top on because

39:35Ben Mandelker: you don't know you don't want that girl to be above you with that food poisoning

39:41Ronnie Karam: yeah she came back i mean she's always coming back in a positive mood you know but it's like over the top positive which worries me and then she's letting everybody just choose their own things no you got to put your foot down and be like you're sleeping by the toilet there's no and us to take the better beds, but there could be someone better else down the pike. I'm just keeping my fingers crossed. Yeah, torture them. Give the first ones they're the worst bedroom. That's what I say. Don't let them pick themselves. Yeah.

40:10Ben Mandelker: Commercials. Here comes one right now.

40:17Ben Mandelker: So then Max and Kizzy meet and he's Wow. We're done. Everyone, thanks so much for being here. This has been Watch for Crappens. It's officially time to retire, guys. Let's go. Kiss me. More like kiss Max. So they, Max is like, oh, Kizzy, so I stay here in your room? She's like, absolutely nice, cheeky, cheeky boy. She's like, oh, I'm just joking. Ah, but she looks good. Kizzy, kizzy, kizzy. She's like a visual dildo.

40:52Ronnie Karam: like so what the fuck was that a visual dildo are you planning on jamming her up your up your

41:01Ben Mandelker: asshole what are you talking about he's like i like your face i'm going to sit on it really

41:07Ronnie Karam: really weird uh i thought that's what he said and i thought that's not what he said and i let it keep playing and i was like no i have to know what he said so i rewound it like three times and yeah he

41:16Ben Mandelker: said she's a visual dildo is he i think i kind of feel like he's trying to say like something to turn you on like maybe meant like visual viagra or like visual i don't know but it was it felt

41:29Ronnie Karam: like i don't know but is it too soon to start calling him peggy so um he's like oh he's going to be naughty so v says hello to everybody gets her cabin she's from florida and kizzy's like oh when you first came in i thought you were like european or something and she's like oh no i'm cuban baby i have like guys look at me and they're gonna be like i don't know like you look like a white girl, but you have green eyes and blonde hair. But I'm like, listen, this ass is Cuban. And if you look at it, it's there. It is definitely Cuban ass. Instagram wall, please. Instagram wall. And we see that she does, in fact, have a large butt.

42:07Ben Mandelker: Yeah. It is a visual flash light. Visual whoopee cushion.

42:17Ronnie Karam: So Christian joins and says hello to everybody. Eddie. Is this the guy who got the number from the person on the plane? Yeah. That's him. So, um, he's like kind of handsome, but like really dorky too, which normally I like, but I don't like him. I want him to fall, like literally fall down.

42:37Ben Mandelker: I do like how visibly disgusted he is by Max. Like he just looks at Max like, what the fuck is wrong with you at all times? So I do enjoy the disgust on his face. It's like hot disgust.

42:48Ronnie Karam: Yeah. So now Josh is in the kitchen doing things, and they only edit in one line, but I think it's a good line. He says, sunflower oil bottle.

43:00Ben Mandelker: Sounds like a game show answer.

43:02Ronnie Karam: He's winning me back. He's winning me back.

43:05Ben Mandelker: Hey, Max. So you're just going to run the deck until we get Nathan or Bosons. Just get it clean, turn it around, you know, do the hypnosis thing, whatever you need. He's like, oh, yes, but you'll see the arms of this guy and my toes, So we are going to be, it's going to be easy. Don't worry. We got arms. We can wash things down.

43:23Ronnie Karam: 21.5 hours before charter. So Asha's chatting with her ladies and she's like, so you've worked on big boats. I see that you're good with service. What's your experience like? And she's like, um, uh, two years ago, really day charters, a little bit of interior, a little bit of exterior. Oh, Kizzy, you're second. I need a service queen. and then your third is one of you Cuban

43:52Ben Mandelker: and V is like well I haven't done too much laundry, she's like oh well you're gonna learn quickly and then Asia's like so you're gonna learn quickly

44:06Ben Mandelker: you better bitch because I'm about to spend another season trying to get beads that way you understand the difference between a t-shirt and a skirt then I'm gonna be pretty fucking peaceful

44:16Ronnie Karam: she brings up brie and the nightmare that was but was brie just last season what does it seem like 10 years since brie's been on my tv i need brie back i know and ellie i know i need brie

44:26Ben Mandelker: back yeah that was a crazy season that was crazy and they showed a flashback of brie because asia goes i've got a little poem i'm a bit worried about v because it rhymes with brie So I've got PTSD from last season's laundry and also L.E. And oh, I need to pee.

44:48Ronnie Karam: So she wants to believe she's capable of learning. But, you know, she has last season in her mind still. So now they're going to start cleaning. And when is the tech crew coming? Max is like, no, I'm the guy in charge. We do like one side each. We make our way down. This is what we do. I learned it in meditation. So he's all excited to be boss. And it goes to his head really, really quickly.

45:14Ben Mandelker: Yeah. And then V is like, will you show my Cuban ass hospital corners? And Kizzy's like, okay, put your hand under the slide and don't even tuck it in. Just slide it in. Gorgeous. It's like, wow. If Fraser were here this season, he'd be like, just tuck, just slide it in. Slide the hand in. Sounds rather naughty. He isn't. So I'll do it for him. Yeah.

45:42Ronnie Karam: So, um, Max is making small talk with Christian and, um, he's saying, uh, bro, you're like almost Simpson. You make all the job. And Christian's like, no, because like I work in an airline, you know? So like if you hook up with a cabin crew, like there's like thousands of crew. I mean, every girl digs a pilot. It's in my blood. I'm the seventh pilot of the family. Yeah. I was the captain. So I was in charge of my aircraft and then COVID happened. And now I'll never fly again. Now all my flying credentials are completely out the window. No one's on planes anymore. Unfortunately, planes are dead now.

46:19Ronnie Karam: No one's on planes. I'm like, sir, that's over now. Go back to the plane. It's dead. He's like, yeah, I was like the best pilot in the world, which is why I clean backs now.

46:30Ben Mandelker: I know. Something about this doesn't quite add up. where it's like, okay, I understand if you have to pivot because the airline industry shrank in 2020, 2021, but it's 2025 now, people are flying. He's like, yeah, man, they stopped producing airplanes. Unfortunately, people stopped using planes and now they just take mainly ferries and canoes. So I had to pivot hard, real hard.

46:55Ronnie Karam: Big walkers, big walkers now. But thankfully boats are still in business and so were mops.

47:01Ben Mandelker: I'm about to get my hot air balloon. pilot's license because that's the only way to cross the mission.

47:08Ronnie Karam: Hot air balloon. He's like, yeah, I'm like really big into licensing lime scooters.

47:16Ben Mandelker: So yeah, that's pretty much what I do now. He's like, yeah, you know, like Yadding can give me the lifestyle that I want in terms of like good money and a lot of time off. And girls love deckhands too. You know what girls love? You know what really wealthy girls love? Someone who's sort of around and putting a jet ski in the water. Oh, they love that.

47:35Ronnie Karam: I have never had more vagina in my life until I picked up a mop. Next stop janitor hood. Next stop. Working my way up. I do not believe you, sir. You got caught masturbating in the, in the cabin or something. I can't. The pilot. He's been banned for airlines. I have to imagine. Yeah. He did something bad. It's weird. I want to know what it is.

47:59Ben Mandelker: Ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring. God, isn't it funny how my phone has my voice saying ring? Ring, ring, ring, ring, ring. Oh, it's a FaceTime from Nathan. Hi, Nathan, where are you?

48:09Ronnie Karam: I'm shitting my fucking brains out. That's where I am. I've been getting sick. I've been getting sick. I'm sick as hell. By the way, I don't know how to put the baby crib together. Spoiler alert.

48:20Ben Mandelker: Well, we go in chatter tomorrow, so we need you here, okay? He's like, yeah. So get some rest and hydrate and hydrate and hydrate and hydrate and, you know, stop pooping your butt and get over here. Otherwise, we can't leave the boat. Guys, America, guess what? If Nathan isn't here, I don't have my bosun. If I don't have my bosun, no one can put together the three baby cribs downstairs. And I don't meet the manning requirements for the vessel. Oh, I won't be able to leave the dock. Maritime Law will get so mad at me, I don't know what we're gonna do. Uh-oh. Who's outside?

48:55Ronnie Karam: It's me, Maritime Law. Get your ass off that boat. What the hell is going on here? This isn't manned. What the hell? This is not a pro... You better get your shit together by tomorrow, Sandia. You're not going anywhere. You're not going anywhere at all. Maritime law.

49:11Ben Mandelker: And the curtain drops and we go to intermission from act one. It's like, oh, I love the first... I love that first act. I just hope the second act maintains the momentum.

49:24Ronnie Karam: All crew, all crew, let's meet in the main salon for our first meeting, okay? So 20 hours before charter, everyone meets and she's like, oh, look at you guys looking so happy, eager. No one's in capri pants. Okay. One demerit. Pass them around. Pass them around.

49:42Ben Mandelker: Listen, a couple of things I want to go over. Okay. I don't want you to listen. I mean, I do want you actually really, there's a trick. I do want you to listen to your department heads. And if it makes it to the bridge, then you will have the wrath of Sandy. Now, I'm not talking about just my office. I'm saying if we see any bridge and you're talking about a problem, it's going to be a problem because people have to use those bridges to travel across things, and they can't be distracted by your problems, okay? So you don't want to have the wrath of Sandy, okay? Unless your legs are ready to put on some capri pants.

50:14Ben Mandelker: You better watch out. So I want to introduce our, oh, everyone, it's our first officer, Ben. He came over on the passage. Say hi, Ben. Okay, he said hi. Hey, it's Ben Barkley.

50:24Ronnie Karam: You know why? Because he's a dog. That's why he's only on TV one time. Okay. This is the time of the episode where we present all of the non-TV ready people. Okay. Let's come out, homely pockmarked people. Come on out. Come on out. And you know what? Here's a stamp. I'm giving everyone a separate stamp. You have U, U-G, you have L, you have G. All right. Switch positions. Okay. Basically, you got a lot of stamps at the end. What do they spell? Read them out, Benny Barky. U-G-L-Y. You ain't kind of wildify. You ugly. Okay, that's it. Now go hide your face, okay?

50:59Ben Mandelker: Go back down to the engine room. Everyone, I know people have been concerned, but I've got massive news due to advances in cloning and science. Someone that we thought was no longer with us is with us. Please welcome our first engineer, B. Arthur. My name is Bjork. Oh, Bjork. Recording musician Bjork. She is here. I love this swan dress. No, no, my name is Bjork. New York? Oh, I love your reality show, New York. You're just, you do great work. So good, everyone. She's hilarious. Bjork.

51:35Ronnie Karam: Oh, you're a delicious peppermint patty. We get it. How many accolades do you need here, homely? Okay. Go back. Go back and put that pillowcase I left on your bed, onto your face. Okay. We'll never see you again. So they leave. And then she's like, yeah. Now, you know, now Max, you're going to have to do this because Nathan's not here. He just doesn't understand baby cribs.

51:55Ben Mandelker: So now a little, yeah, a little bit of bad news, everyone. First, I lost my Donna Lewis cassette. I really, really liked that song. But also another piece of bad news is that we're missing two. Okay. Two capri pants. And I only brought three. So whoever's doing laundry better. We're also down two people too. So it's really terrible things. Food poisoning all around. Okay. And do not have the fish.

52:19Ronnie Karam: Oh, Bolson Knox. This has a nice ring to it. She's like, okay, well, you're not the bozo yet, okay? We've already got one bozo here. Am I right, chef? He's like, that's right. That's right. Richard Branson loves me, baby. Yes.

52:35Ben Mandelker: You know, when Nathan gets here, he's an awesome guy. Try not to stare at his haircut too long. He's very sensitive. Apparently, he spent many years in fire camp, and it's hard for him to get rid of that. But he's great. Otherwise, he's great. Um, so it's just like, no, thanksgiving.

52:55Ronnie Karam: I love Nathan. I love Nathan. Every time I think about Nathan, I just start hugging trees and kicking myself in the bottom, pinching myself on the cheek, slapping myself on the face. Oh, my God. Someone had Asia a fucking benzo. It's day one. He cracked out.

53:17Ben Mandelker: So what is his position? You know She's boasting It's like oh did you think you were the boasting Max he's like no I mean I'll take the situation She's like oh yeah I love the confidence Hate the stupidity though Charter number one begins tomorrow though Everyone so get ready

53:39Ronnie Karam: Okay let's get back to work You can do this You can do this Alright it's time for me to retire and watch my favorite show Wind season 6

53:51Ben Mandelker: okay do you guys want to start making beers like oh god well my god we don't have enough time oh no so now josh is in the kitchen by himself and max is like just shut up we go like fucking bull i'm paulson christian's like um yeah i don't get that so josh he uh he pulls out a tambourine and he's like, you never know when you're going to need a tambourine. I'm like, that is true. You do never know. But chances are, it's probably not going to be while you're cooking. So you can take that off of the air fryer.

54:28Ronnie Karam: Also, tambourines are the instrument of the non-talented people in the band. And we all know it. So why are you pulling out a tambourine like that's a flex? That's not very. That's true. You know, like I'm worried. I'm worried about this guy. And it's not just the clown stuff. It's like the whole like, look, I have like long, crazy hair and earrings. Like he's trying too hard. Do you know what I mean? I feel like he puts patchouli smell all over himself just to seem like, I don't know, hippie. Like he's trying too hard, it seems like.

54:57Ben Mandelker: Also, I'm actually going to push back when he says you never know when you're going to need a tambourine. I'm actually going to say I think you always know when you're going to need a tambourine. Like you always know exactly the time when you should have a tambourine.

55:09Ronnie Karam: Yeah, when you're in a band and you don't have any talent, so they hand you a tambourine.

55:14Ben Mandelker: Yeah, when you've been hired to sing the doo-doo-doo parts in the background, and they're like, give Nancy the tambourine. Okay, if you're on stage and you're wearing a vest and you're snapping, you're sort of like moving your shoulders and singing, uh-huh, you're going to need a tambourine. But otherwise, I think you're good to go.

55:36Ronnie Karam: when you're when you're when you know you're gonna eat at a place with a bunch of boomers and they're gonna be playing yacht rock okay maybe but not right now not right now do they use tambourines and renfares i feel like no i don't think so did they have those back in the renaissance days i don't think they came up with those yet wasn't that like a classier time

55:57Ben Mandelker: the renaissance i mean oh no i'm gonna get back to you on this one i will do the research

56:02Ronnie Karam: are there tambourines in red fairs?

56:05Ben Mandelker: Tambourine.

56:05Ronnie Karam: I don't feel like they don't. I don't feel like they had the song Piano Man back then. Hey, do people use tambourines during Piano Man? Sing me a song every hour. Someone does. Nancy does. I feel like that's a tambourine. I feel like that's a tambourine song.

56:19Ben Mandelker: I just want you to know the tambourine has a history spanning thousands of years with its origins traceable to ancient civilizations of Middle East, Egypt, Greece, and India, where it was used for religious and ceremonial purposes. is so yeah i'm gonna say you might find a tambourine at a ren fair everyone okay well there you go yeah yeah all right consider me unimpressed with the past

56:43Ronnie Karam: oh so yeah he's got a tambourine he's wacky guys and so uh is kizzy single she is technically technically she's single guys and v's story v's like yeah my story is really tragic 11 months ago on my birthday my boyfriend passed away and she's singing with this huge smile on her face and she's like oh my god I'm so sorry how the fuck did that happen she goes yeah he drowned he drowned oh god this just keeps getting worse

57:16Ben Mandelker: did you even get to pull some poo out of your butt that day she's like no oh my god this story so V tells us this story and it's actually like so sad we see that she like met this dive instructor in mexico they had this like romance we see pictures this guy was fucking hot it was like this felt like it was like a movie right like isn't this like a movie that you watch where you like go on holiday you meet this amazing person like the like like gorgeous and you have this like sort of carefree thing and you go swimming in the ocean every day and then and then he dies i was like that's like this is the tearjerker movie i was like oh my god and then she tells this sad thing about how she doesn't go scuba diving anymore because scuba was the gift that he gave to her and it's like too hard i was like i was like me and she's like sitting there laughing she's like the only way i could process it is by laughing i

58:11Ronnie Karam: was like oh my god i was so sad by this yeah she's like um she says it's such a mystery that he drowned because he was a dive instructor but she also tells us that they used to like making out underwater and so i feel like it's not that much of a mystery i feel like he was loose with the

58:28Ben Mandelker: rules um so we have to talk to that moray eel that's been all over below deck down under like

58:34Ronnie Karam: what yeah were you the turtle the turtle she's like and then the saddest part was it as if the turtle knew he just passed by and waved it's like um so kizzy's like i'm not smiling because it's funny by the way i just get really uncomfortable and i can't not smile in these situations and it's just like it's because you're british that's how it is nothing was funnier than the queen's funeral i mean we watch we still watch it on tv sometimes it's just hilarious and b's like i've dealt with it you know what i just use lots of dark humor it's the only way to do it and she goes yeah your boyfriend's dead shame and then they start laughing i'm like i mean

59:17Ben Mandelker: it was funny but also like i don't know if you necessarily needed to yes and in that moment you

59:21Ronnie Karam: could just explain why you were smiling well kizzy is a sociopath like we start learning this is like the first instance of it like this is the first like example of it but we start seeing throughout the episode that kizzy is a fucking sociopath and uh i kind of like looking it's like a retrospective this is where it all began ryan murphy show monster starring kizzy kitcheners

59:47Ben Mandelker: so meanwhile max has something to say he tells us i'm a natural leader i like i like to go like rude rough at the beginning and i want to lead with fear like all the good leaders do in the louis the 14th reign there was a guy in the maximilian he was just like me just like max robespierre you know everyone famously everyone wants to be like robespierre you know and he started to speak up in the streets and took like all the people of fans together to start making revolution and he was like using the guillotine and every day he was like killing all the royalty so maybe i'm like reincarnation let's do it for captain sandy i'm like i don't i don't i just don't understand the the link between robes pierre and like mopping a deck like i'm sorry i don't understand what like shamming a railing has to do with like dropping the guillotine on mary antoinette Marie Antoinette Marie Antoinette

1:00:41Ronnie Karam: Marie Antoinette, yeah Yeah, I don't know But they're cleaning And so now Aisha is so excited Because Kizzy loves decorating And Kizzy's like, yeah, I've always been a service girl I've worked on lots of charges But last season I was on a private boat Which is really cool Especially because the owner, he died So, I mean, RIP and everything But yeah, I didn't have to do anything It was amazing I'm like, okay, you're laughing about death. What's wrong with this girl? I like her. I worry about any animals near the boat because I feel like she's probably in that, you know, like beginning stages of like killing small animals and stuff.

1:01:22Ronnie Karam: But I don't know. I'm looking forward. It's been a long time since there's been someone on these shows that's like, that could be a serial killer.

1:01:30Ben Mandelker: Yeah. Yeah. Well, because he says, I mean, it's not funny. He's dead. But shit, I didn't have to do anything. We literally got paid to like run loose on the boat. It was so good. I mean, of course I was the one who killed him. So there was that, but whatever, no one needs to know. So basically she's going to decorate everything. It's going to be exciting. So 19 hours before charter and here come provisions. So all the provisions come through and Sandy's like, wow, that's a lot of provisions. You know, I see some Capri suns in there, but not some Capri pants. Who, who made this list in the first place?

1:02:01Ben Mandelker: Okay. That's a failure.

1:02:04Ronnie Karam: Someone's not listening. I'll focus on getting provisions. You focus on getting key bins done and possibly not making fun of dead people. All right, keys. So then it's 6.15 and Max is just getting really bossy. We see him just bossing the ex-airline guy around all over the place. He's like, oh, detail here. I meet you downstairs. You do this, you do that. You shimmy, you shimmy. Oh, guillotine. Oh, you lose your head.

1:02:32Ben Mandelker: Max, I'm impressed. He came back a changed man. and say, I did not lie, huh? But then Christian's like, I'm so tired. So then Asha is like looking over stuff and they're all just like kind of cleaning.

1:02:44Ronnie Karam: It's like a cleaning episode, which is crazy because we're already at an hour. But yeah, it's a lot of cleaning and hellos and stuff. And then Max is still bossing his guy around and now it's 14.5 hours before charter. We did it, bro. We did it. and Christian's like yeah this guy's more experienced than me but I mean I've flown planes and he really wants to be the boss and we're in the same position so like you're a deckhand as well I'm a deckhand who just got a phone number on a plane totally real totally yeah hello there this is a two part recap okay this is the end of part one so thank you so much for listening to this just come back a little later for part two

1:03:30Ben Mandelker: Watch what crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alison King. It's always a party on Alison Block. Our way is the Amber way. It's the Foster and the Furious. It's Amanda Foster. It's always automatic with Ashley Otto. Put your hands together for Carly Clapp. Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt.

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1:05:20Ben Mandelker: Who, what, why, where, and Gwen Pentland.

1:05:22Ronnie Karam: Let's go into the woods with Guy Tubbs It's our queen, it's Queen Laifah

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1:06:21Ronnie Karam: She ain't no shrinking Violet Kuchar. We love you guys.