#3017 Below Deck Med S10E01 Part 2: Inspain in the Membrane

0:22Ben Mandelker: Hi everyone, welcome back. This is part two of a two-part recap. If you're wondering where part one was, well go check in the feed and be sure to subscribe. so that way you always get your episodes but enough of that let's get right back into the episode then um so now we see a text from captain sandy sandy has created a group hey everyone i'm making a group text i'm uh i'm calling it sandy and the diarrhea heads okay it's to nathan and tessa so nathan meet tessa she's your new deckhand who is also sick so if you hear some retching in the room next door that's probably her i hope you guys are feeling better update me in the morning and remember if you don't make it here, the whole season's canceled.

1:01Ben Mandelker: So no pressure, but we do have Capacita here on board. So get into a cab. Okay, thanks so much.

1:08Ronnie Karam: 13 hours before charter. Do not forget to sleep, Josh. And Josh is like, you're going to have to force me to stop working.

1:19Ronnie Karam: Tambourining. And so now it's time to go to bed. And now it's 2.35 a.m. Someone looks at their wiener, which I thought was really funny. I was thinking, was it Max? I don't know which guy it was, but someone just lifted up the covers and just stared at their wiener for a minute in the dark. And then put the covers on. That was probably Max.

1:38Ben Mandelker: That seems like Max's behavior. Is he still there?

1:42Ronnie Karam: Still got it.

1:44Ben Mandelker: It's the next day, 6 a.m. And it's six hours before the charter. And V is checking the dryer and everything. Max is checking with Josh. He's asking if Josh slept well. Josh was like, no, man. You know, I hadn't listened to music all day. So I had to put some music in my air. I found it kind of helped me, you know. I used to work in kitchens where we didn't have much music for years. And I didn't realize how much it affected me until I left that kind of work. And I would go home and I would just shake that tambourine for hours on end. And I was like, wait a second. I need to incorporate this into my carpaccias.

2:18Ronnie Karam: So he tells us that the box they want you to fit in at a Michelin star restaurant is like robotic. and he's like really creative guys. He's got long hair. So he had to get away and he really sees himself as an artist and he enjoys all sorts of different mediums. Writing, writing music, playing guitar, dressing like rock stars, creating different styles of food, Rubik's cubes, penis art, penis puppetry. It's all part of an art form, guys. He'd wear nail varnish. but he can't because he has to work in the kitchen and it might come off in the food. But he's that much of an artist. He would even wear nail polish.

3:02Ronnie Karam: Rebel.

3:03Ben Mandelker: Wow. Wow. Did Basquiat just come on board? Because this man is an artist. He is one thumbnail away from being at the MoMA. He's got AirPods.

3:15Ronnie Karam: So he is basically a Grammy winner.

3:18Ben Mandelker: Okay. He loves his music. So Mike's like, oh, so you need music. okay but let me let me find me a little tam tam tamperine you know he's like oh he's like got one right here you never know when you might need it you need it right now because now's the moment you might need it yeah we're gonna jingle jangle jungle in here okay yeah yeah so um now

3:39Ronnie Karam: captain sandy receives a text from nathan he's like feeling better be there in 20 how do baby crubs work so um now more cleaning commences and um crew uniforms need to get done come on guys come on v and she's like all right here's how you do it just throw the uniforms in into express 30 she's like i see what you're saying do you yeah go to express and 30 no the washing machine not the store. Got it. Gotta express. I know a dead person. We've already covered that.

4:16Ben Mandelker: Please don't make me do this. Being a steward, my technique is called winging it. That's my technique. So now Nathan is walking up to the boat. I was looking for any signs of clenching. He's like, sorry, I know producers, he wants me to have a nice slow-mo walk up to the boat but I really need to get to the loo. But he says, hi. And Sandy's like, oh my God, I'm so glad you're here. How are you? Did you bring that crib you're working on? He's like, no, I couldn't. Yesterday was a disaster. Not only did I have diarrhea coming out of every hole of my body, but I still couldn't figure out that damn crib.

4:57Ben Mandelker: But we're here. We're going to make it work.

5:00Ronnie Karam: Yeah, well, the guys did a real good job. You know, Max said a lot of things in French and threatened to cut people's heads off. So that was fun. I love a go-getter, you know. So, Max has more experience. He's got more than the other two. So, I'd go with Max. You know, just go for Max. I love him. You know what? Max got some, what do they call that where they tell you things in your brain and it tricks you into doing it? He's been hypnotized. So, I think he's, you know what? He's basically the captain now. Okay. Guess what? Max is now the lead producer on wind. I quit. What am I even here for?

5:32Ronnie Karam: Max is amazing. She's going to eat those words so hard. She's going way too hard for Max. And this isn't like Sandy, right? Right. Yeah, it isn't.

5:42Ben Mandelker: But maybe she has a new attitude. So Nathan goes in, he meets Christian, and Nathan and V and everything. It's just more like, oh, where do things go, everything? And, you know, Nathan's giving orders about go to the sports side, go to that side, whatever. Josh is making food in the kitchen, and Nathan's looking at CVs. And now finally we meet Tessa. Tessa, who also was sick, is finally arriving at the boat.

6:10Ronnie Karam: Uh-oh. Where is Tessa? Here she comes. And Max is like, oh, trouble is coming. Take a look. Give him some time. Just don't name the lead deckhand right yet. Give it till charter three before you say Max is president of the boat. Okay? And Max is already in love with Tessa. He's like, look at this princess. Hello, mademoiselle. Go, go, go, go, go, go. Oh, yes, you walking dildo, walking dildo.

6:40Ben Mandelker: Bonjour, madame, where are you from? She's like, bed and bed. She's like, oh, I don't understand that. She's like, well, I thought about coming yesterday, but then the thought, just the thought of shitting myself on the deck, I just couldn't. I couldn't do it at all. Hey, I gotta love those boys.

6:56Ronnie Karam: My last two boats have been 120 meters plus. I'm used to working with the team of ten. And, team boy, that's who I raised from babies. Okay.

7:07Ben Mandelker: You know, we get a job, a jobless at the start of the day and have no rules. So, in my mind, I'm just like, oh, this will be easier. It's just like a small scale of what I'm already used to on the McBee Family Fair.

7:20Ronnie Karam: Okay, gold change. Please don't speak in that accent anymore, sir. Oh, God. Have a nice copy. You can't take the country out of the country girl. You can take the country girl out of the country. You can't take the country out of the gold moron.

7:32Ben Mandelker: Deck crew, deck crew, meet me on the main deck after the preference sheet meeting. For instance, a good example of a preference is I prefer her not to speak in that crazy voice. Okay, thank you so much.

7:43Ronnie Karam: Okay, my first preference is not to let Tessa sing. You are the wind beneath my wings.

7:52Ben Mandelker: Actually, I'm okay with that song. It's a nice song. That's a good one. It's actually a good one. It's a good one.

7:57Ronnie Karam: um so now we have our preference sheet meeting separate rooms everybody separate i like that in all the years of below deck they finally decided to change up and they're like we need every every producer on every below deck ever invented in one room all right what are the new ideas to keep this show fresh we should have preference sheetings in different preference sheet meetings in different rooms oh my god we're here for another decade we're here for another decade margaret you just got a raise.

8:26Ben Mandelker: I love this idea because before it was a captain telling the heads of departments what to do, but now it's heads of departments telling other people what to do. It's just a whole new show. I love it. And what was this? How about this? Everyone gets an iPad that they can use for 10 minutes to look at the preference sheets.

8:47Ronnie Karam: Well, I cannot the fine dildo in here. There's child blocks on there, Max. Okay. Jesus Christ. Okay, preference sheet meeting. So let's find out who these people are, guys. The primary is Carl. Hi, I'm Carl. I'm a serial entrepreneur. I'm renowned in the world of non-alcoholic web startups. I'm really into websites that don't drink.

9:16Ben Mandelker: Soft Bitcoin. Give me a soft cyber currency. Crypto. Bitcoin. Bitcoin people. Okay, so he's a douchebag. Friends of Carl, Eunice, Philip, Jess, Maria, Da Vinci, and his fiance, Alexandra, hoping for a luxury profession to save his honest trip.

9:38Ronnie Karam: One day, one day one, Carl and his group want to indulge in the water toys and get ready for their Bitcoin extravagance. Oh, fuck off. Are these really Bitcoin people? Who really wants to, if you're a Bitcoin person, do you really need everything to say Bitcoin and have Bitcoin parties. Is it really that big of a thing?

9:56Ben Mandelker: Like what is a Bitcoin extravaganza? Bitcoins don't even have a tangible form. Like, you have to like sit there and like wait for a computer to find a cake and it's like, oh, we did it! Now we get to eat the cake.

10:09Ronnie Karam: Yeah, it's just a bunch of dudes sitting around going, brah, Bitcoin's going to be at a million by 2030. You heard it here first. You heard it here first.

10:21Ben Mandelker: all right well day two the group would like to explore the charming coastal town of situs okay cool cool okay so everyone let's get to it because we've got guests coming in one hour glad we read through their preference sheet with only 60 minutes this makes a lot of sense to do it this soon before they arrive you know what i like doing a preference sheet meeting after provisions that That makes a lot of sense.

10:46Ronnie Karam: That's such a good point. Let's talk about the guests and prepare five minutes before they come on board. Okay. This is going to be great. Just everybody walk around and say Bitcoin a lot. Okay.

11:00Ben Mandelker: So everyone's goes into different teams and everything. Cleaning, cleaning, cleaning, cleaning. Josh is flirting with Kizzy.

11:07Ronnie Karam: He likes her perfume. And she's like, oh my God, he's flirting with me. Can't wait till he die. So Asha is happy with cabins and it's time for the talk. Here come the Bitcoin people, which means there is one extremely homely person with a really hot wife. At least one. We know there's going to be at least one. In this case, his name is Da Vinci and he says Bitcoin every other five minutes. He's like, yo, bro, the boat, the Bitcoin belt. Am I right? What are we going to see a Bitcoin? Yes. Yes. I'm like Captain Ahab constantly serving for Moby Bitcoin.

11:47Ronnie Karam: I do believe that he's rich though.

11:50Ben Mandelker: 20 ,000 Bitcoins under the sea. Am I right, everyone? Hey-o.

11:53Ronnie Karam: I do believe that he's rich though because he really does have a hot girlfriend.

11:58Ben Mandelker: Yeah, that's true.

11:59Ronnie Karam: And it's not coming from his personality or his looks. No, it's not. Hey, hey, everyone.

12:05Ben Mandelker: Welcome to Motor Yacht Bravado. on Bravo, bravado on Bravo. See, it's wordplay. Okay, it's confusing to you. That's okay. Aisha's going to show you around the boat, and we're going to head out to sea and get your first anchorage so you guys can get in the water, because guess what America wants to see? Your pasty bodies. Okay, come on. Let's have fun.

12:25Ronnie Karam: So Aisha gives the tour, and she's showing them the aft deck, and they're talking about breakfast service, and one of the guests is like, oh my God, we're going to have to get you one with diamonds, honey. And Christian's like, oh man, I guess I need to buy Bitcoin. Jeez. They're really rich. They're talking about diamonds. I find that really rich people don't talk about being rich that much, really. Unless they're faking it about to go broke.

12:55Ben Mandelker: Rich screams, wealth whispers. So they look at all this stuff. Jet skis and decks and everything and this guy's like, Max is very excited because he's like, oh, they're couteau investors, you know, they're like Robespierre of money. And Nathan is like saying, oh, he probably wipes his ass with like a 50 euro note. So there's the tour continues. Tour, tour, tour, tour, tour, tour, tour, tour. Okay, well, guess what, guys? What? No, I was going to say the primary suite's really big this season. I was just going to say that. That's all.

13:31Ronnie Karam: It is. It sure is big. And then there's a room with two little twin beds people are all mad. They're like, wait a minute, we're not splitting this evenly, are we? Because this is a little unfair. And then she goes, you should see our rooms. Which I thought was funny. So Captain Sandy's like, I lived in Barcelona for years. I know this marina like the back of my hands. Are these even my hands? Whose hands are these? When did my hands get this? I need different hands. Give me my hands back, please.

14:00Ben Mandelker: Wait a second, I got a freckle now. Well, you know, I love it here in Barcelona. This was like my old stomping ground. You know, they call me the Gigi Fernandez of volleyball in Barcelona.

14:17Ben Mandelker: But, you know, you got to have experience. Getting off the dock should be easy. And when you have experience, you know where to place the people and entrust them. And I trust Nathan. I know we can do this. I know we can run a boat. I mean, it's as easy as putting together a crib. Am I right?

14:35Ronnie Karam: All right. I'll have Tessa and Christian on the stern. And the guests are looking at their monogrammed towels. And like, oh, my God, it's B for Bitcoin. Because we like Bitcoin, guys.

14:48Ben Mandelker: It's B for B-Fuck Off. B-Fuck, that's shut up. B-Shut the fuck. B-Shut the fuck up. B-You're stupid.

15:03Ronnie Karam: Okay, so lines are safe. Drop, guys. Lines are safe to drop. Let's do it. Drop the lines. Blow lines. Release. Line clear. Sturge lines. We're all going to die. Captain Glenn is somewhere like, why isn't she talking about how everyone could die within the next three minutes?

15:20Ben Mandelker: Adventure. So the lines are going up and everything. And meanwhile, they're trying to leave. But everyone, like all the deck crew has questions. Tessa's like, oh, my God. the bridge thing is not going in. The button's not working. How do I do this? And he's like, all right, well, you know, hold on. We got to take the lines out. What about the lazarette? We have lazarette. And what about the forward peak? What about the forward aft? What about the boat? What about the crib? Are there any ants around here? And he's like having to run around like, but how do I do this? How do I press a button? You just put your finger on it and you press, but do I do it this way?

15:51Ben Mandelker: No, you're twisting it. But how do I put it around? He's like, just put your finger on it and press. I don't get it.

15:58Ronnie Karam: And finally, he's just like, ask the engineers for help please jesus christ it's like ask bjork please yeah ask barky okay and uh max has the starboard he's like clear channel clear i cut off its head and da vinci's like bitcoin bitcoin bitcoin bitcoin carl says yeah there's always bigger yachts but you can never have the biggest yacht unless you're a jeff bitcoin bezos am i right

16:27Ronnie Karam: engineer engineer engineer engineer it's tessa here it's tessa please

16:34Ben Mandelker: please i'm about to die i can't get the laser pick onto the board he's like don't do it over

16:40Ronnie Karam: the radio just go down she's like oh is he down there i'm sorry i don't even know i use radio so um he's like freaking out because everything's going to shit and uh he's like yeah i can see this team's not really capable of giving 100 quite yet oh i'm all set thanks nathan god that

17:01Ben Mandelker: went smoothly hi everybody uh this is big one you did it so nathan's like oh god this is a nightmare So now he's giving some more orders around. Asia's asking the guys what they do. And this guy, Philip, is like, you have a real estate company in Dubai. And Carl's like, in Dubai, you can buy anything in crypto. Like you can get even a functional non-alcoholic bar there. Brick and mortar. Buy it all in crypto.

17:33Ronnie Karam: Scorch really into crypto. And every time he tries to talk about it to me,

17:40Ronnie Karam: um so yeah all crew all crew 10 minutes 10 minutes and uh they're like yeah and uh da da vinci's like yeah i can order cash to my house they bring me 10 million dollars whenever i want

17:52Ben Mandelker: it yeah yeah i don't get to keep it i only get to keep the five dollars i'm allowed but you know it's cool that they bring it in in a bag that has nine million nine hundred and ninety five thousand another$95. We get it. We get it. You only get$5. So he's like, okay, everyone, all crew, ETA in 10 minutes, ETA, Capri pants are arriving on a taxi in 10 minutes. Get ready. Get those ankles ready to be exposed to the sun. Get that suntan lotion out because the Capri pants are coming in, everyone.

18:31Ronnie Karam: Get ready for that two inches of pure suntan on those ankles, everybody. Let's get to it. It's like

18:39Ben Mandelker: cracking the window in your car on a hot day. You know?

18:46Ronnie Karam: So, Josh and Nathan are talking, and Josh is like, hey, Shagga. And he's like, hey, Top Shagga. I'm going to behave myself this year, though. Telling you, I'm on my best behavior. And he's just like, whatever. I don't believe it. When's the last time you talked to Gail? I love Gail.

19:03Ben Mandelker: hot two days ago, I think. He's like, oh, really? So you guys are fine? He's like, no, yeah, we're friends, yeah. Oh, good.

19:12Ronnie Karam: Oh, so they broke up, which is good to know because the previews are like, Nathan's cheating on a pregnant lady all season long. So it's good to know that they're at least broken up.

19:22Ben Mandelker: Which, by the way, just goes to show, like, Gail, one of the hottest people we've ever seen on Bravo. And even, like, you're not gonna lock that down, Nathan? I mean, obviously he does eventually, but like, seriously, this is just, this is, this, this life is just not fair. Yeah. Yeah. Men are still gonna, men are still gonna look for something else, no matter what.

19:44Ronnie Karam: Men are gonna man. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappins commercial.

19:54Ronnie Karam: So you go saw each other for six months? And he's like, yeah, until Christmas time. Uh-oh. He broke up with her at Christmas? What the hell? What's wrong with him? He says he cut it off around Christmas time. That's the one you want to have a baby with, ladies. That is the one. Get him now.

20:12Ben Mandelker: Well, after the season, we went traveling for six or seven weeks together. And then we tried to maintain it. But the distance was an issue. And because of how busy I was working 13 hours a day, it just wasn't sustainable. Also, she kept on trying to have me build small little structures. And it was too difficult. Oh, well, it's hard doing distance when you're like fully committed. unless you're fully committed, which, of course, why would you ever fully commit to a gorgeous supermodel that for some reason works on boats?

20:38Ronnie Karam: I just have to fuck around. It's like, well, you're a young man. That's what you're supposed to do. And Josh is like, yeah, he's a fucking shagger. That's right. All right, put the tambourine down, please. We don't need that right now.

20:56Ben Mandelker: So Carl has something to say. it's always such a calm feeling on a boat

21:00Ronnie Karam: oh yeah da Vinci says are you gonna buy one you gonna buy one Carl you want me to order 10 million dollars what's your budget Carl what's your budget

21:11Ben Mandelker: he's like um I'd say 30 million I'm like yes I'm really glad he enjoys how calming it is to be on a boat you know the sort of thing that makes most people want to vomit off the side of it and then if you know you're unlucky it like perishes and you all die

21:29Ronnie Karam: coming very coming well i'm ready when you guys are two shackles two shackles two shackles um so now asha is telling v to go run some plates for lunch and v's like is it okay to be in socks for lunch service i was like oh please wear your shoes where did we find these people

21:50Ben Mandelker: who the hell is this person is it okay if i just like show up in like some gym shorts and like a crop top.

21:59Ronnie Karam: Can I please feed the guest booger straight from my nose? No. The fuck is this crew coming from? Okay, so then Josh is like, okay, these are sourdough chia butter rolls. Get him out there. I'm an artist. So now it's time to get the naughty boys out, guys, because water toys need to be out immediately. Within 45 minutes, this is a Captain Sandy vessel.

22:26Ben Mandelker: yes so the first thing that has to go out are the naughty boat boys which as you may know are like those kind of like floating platforms uh i'm not skilled in this area i don't have any experience but as far as i know it's like you inflate them and then you tie them to the boat and then you're

22:45Ronnie Karam: done so seems easy but apparently it's not we learned today that it's very difficult no So that guy, Christian, sits down there trying to get these things tied for what they make seem like an hour. I mean, they make it seem like it's 10 hours. What is happening over there?

23:05Ben Mandelker: They've got a lot of naughty boy stuff to do. So, yeah, they're like inflating it forever. They're trying to figure out the pump. But it seems like they're already inflated. They just can't seem to wrangle them. Like, wait a second. How do we tie this to this? The water keeps moving.

23:24Ben Mandelker: it needs to stay still. Someone tell the ocean to stop it. Stop it. Cut it out, ocean.

23:29Ronnie Karam: And Tess is like, should we attach it to something before we keep blowing it up or we do blow it up first? And yes, it's a disaster down there. So meanwhile, quinoa salad's coming out. Baba ganoush, you guys. Baba fucking ganoush is coming out. Yeah, bro. And Carl's like, um, you still have that 22-year-old Russian, right? And Da Vinci's like, yeah, we're talking about the chef here. Oh, because Jess, one of the guests is like, we have a chef every day, every meal. You guys are not really rich. I don't fucking believe you. Rich people don't talk like this. Yeah, bro. I'm about to spend 30 million on a boat.

24:03Ronnie Karam: Really? Well, we have a Russian chef every day. Yeah.

24:08Ben Mandelker: This is how a rich person speaks. You know what? I just love to cook. I mean, unfortunately, I'm really busy. But thankfully, we have this wonderful girl named Pasha who's from Russia. And like, she's just great. And I try to get in there as much as I can. but you know sometimes i just have to say pasha just do this for me which is like rich which rich wasp for like pasha cooks everything i don't even go in the kitchen but like if you're wealthy you try to pretend like you still do it or i love her she's wonderful we just go to the farmer's market together and we just we look at all the fresh produce and we talk about what the meal is going to be we sort of arrange it all together and she executes it she's so much better than i am i mean sometimes i can't go to the farmer's market so she just goes on ahead without me which is also rich for she goes to the supermarket and I stay back and watch TV.

24:53Ronnie Karam: Yeah. Like who knew that you could find a child locked in an airport, take him home, make him a part of your family. And I mean, the way she cooks, it's like she can see into me, you know, God, I mean, what a talent, what a talent. So anyway, um, you guys like tuna, you know, it's like a subtle is a more subtle way of bragging, but these guys are like, yeah, oh, fuck yeah, we got fucking Bitcoin and$30 million delivered to us every morning for breakfast.

25:23Ben Mandelker: It reminds me of Caroline Fleming when she brought the ladies of London to Denmark and they went to a restaurant and she was like, you know what I love? Comte cheese. They don't have it here, but I remember coming here once and I asked, do you have comte cheese? And they ran all over the city just to find comte cheese for me. Isn't that the sweetest thing? Which is her way of being like, I yelled at them and said, I'm a fucking member of the royal family. And if you don't get me comté cheese, I will never come back to this restaurant ever again.

25:51Ronnie Karam: Right. Because the point wasn't like, oh, I forced him to get me comté cheese. It was like, isn't the staff here just so, so accommodating. They're just such wonderful people. Yes. So now they're, I mean, this food does look great. He's Josh, maybe a clown, but he does look like he makes good food. I mean, he's making, And he's making a ton of food. And the lamb chops, they cut into the lamb chops. They look perfect. I mean, you can see with a lamb chop, you can tell. I mean, they kind of bounce off each other when he puts them on the plate. They're juicy. They look like they're cooked perfectly.

26:27Ronnie Karam: Impressive, Josh. I did not see this one coming, I have to say.

26:31Ben Mandelker: I like his platter of fish. He just had all this fish that came tumbling out at one point. I was like, that's cool, you know? Yeah.

26:39Ronnie Karam: So then, 2.45 p.m., time spent launching Naughty Boys, 15 minutes. Deck crew, deck crew, can I have one person to the boat for the life jacket to retrieve the jet ski? The jet ski is now, so we have another moment where shit's just floating out in the middle of the ocean.

27:00Ben Mandelker: Yeah, it's almost like a ritual at the start of a below deck season. Something floats off into the distance. and now Josh brings more food to the table and while that's happening we see now it's been 30 minutes spent launching the Naughty Boys which again, floatable floating platforms that just need to be tied to the boat, that's it something's floating put it in the water and you tie it on

27:27Ronnie Karam: that's all you're doing they can't do jet skis, they're like oh we can't get this thing tied, how are we supposed to get jet skis out and Carl's like yeah I can't do jess is those are really hard so whatever guys the crew are gonna get the water toys in by the time you finish here everything will be in the water because everything's going perfectly this season and i'm sure everything's already out there just waiting for you all gassed up and ready to go

27:49Ben Mandelker: yeah so max is telling us natan draws his best but i think he's got different management strategy as me i'm not going to whip you with some with with the the the shame and say shemmy's and say, let's fucking do it. I won't whip you with shame either. And I'll take my guillotine out of my suitcase. Max, you have no leadership skills. What is he even talking about? And the producer was like, did you pack your guillotines? Oh, yes. I always pack my guillotine with me. It's a bit expensive when I travel, but yeah, he's worth it. Humor, Robespierre, humor.

28:21Ronnie Karam: So Nathan is watching them still try to get these things tied, which they still can't do. And he's like, I think we need to get a system down here. And Max is like, yeah, we'll do an out course. Shouldn't you guys? and know how to do knots you work on a boat isn't this like base this show worries me it really does i mean barky can't do everything he's one man yeah it's it's too much so uh nathan's like

28:44Ben Mandelker: mortified he's saying it's a disgrace and he's like oh god this is this is really terrible and so they're still they're just fumbling about you know trying to get these toys out and he's like nathan's like just get the jet skis out like don't worry about these naughty boys you know And Tess is like, but where are you going with the panel boards? She's like, on the sour board side, for fuck's sake. So Sandy's watching it all, and she's like, you know what? This is Nathan's first time leading a team, so I'm not going to apply too much pressure. But I need them to know that they need to get everything out quicker.

29:14Ben Mandelker: Because by Charter 3, it should be precision. It's like every time they start a new season of Wind, I'm like, by episode 3, this better pick up. Otherwise, I don't know if I'm on board for another season.

29:24Ronnie Karam: Yeah, and it's just a fucking mess out there. and they're running around like chickens with their heads cut off and the girls inside are watching and cracking up. And Aisha's like, are you enjoying the shit show, girls? They're like, yeah, this is so entertaining. You have no idea. Okay, so now it's time to jet ski. And Tessa's getting annoyed. Christian's like, well, when they tell us to do it, we have no fucking idea how to do it, so they need to tell us how to do it. And Tessa's like, yeah, he's not teaching us nothing. Guys, you should know how to do this stuff.

29:59Ben Mandelker: Yeah. So it's now 90 minutes that the guests have been waiting to get on their jet skis. And Sandy is like, she's just watching. She's like, oh gosh. But they finally get on. They finally got on the jet skis and they're playing around. They're having fun times. And then Kizzy goes into the galley and she's like, here's your knife. And Josh is like, well, this could be your knife if you like it in the pantry. You don't have to keep on coming back to the kitchen to give it back to me. She goes, oh, you don't want me to come back? He's like, oh, I want you to come back. Come back whenever you want.

30:30Ben Mandelker: You can shake a tambourine with me. Yes, woman. Okay. All right.

30:36Ronnie Karam: She's like, boys tend to like me. I love like playing with them. You know, I've been like a little puppeteer. And I'm like, dance, boys. Dance, boys. Like, look at me. Kizzy. Kizzy. The hottest girl. The hottest room in the whole house. So now they're flirting over bread. And he's like, do you need some bread? And she's like, yeah. He's like, yeah, it's got so fucking much love in it that you don't even understand. She's like, ooh, I can taste the love in your bread. Mm, yeah. God damn it, bread. Yes, give me your yeast. Give me your yeast.

31:18Ronnie Karam: Yeah, it's disturbing. So, okay, we got to be faster, Nathan. We got to be faster. Don't be sorry. You're learning, okay? Now, what do we know from you last season? You had terrible hair. The whole world told you you had terrible hair, and you showed up with terrible hair again.

31:33Ben Mandelker: So you're learning. That's the important thing. Yeah, right. And then we see Kizzy. She texts three hearts to someone named Tommy. We don't know who Tommy is, but he's just received three hearts. We don't know Tommy. Do we know who Tommy is? It's the musical. just like just remind just as a reminder i would love to be part of your company so here's three

31:55Ronnie Karam: hearts um i love that the guests are happy um and now we have to get a bitcoin chocolate fantasy theme party for dinner totally normal and um so they're figuring out what to do for that meanwhile josh is like yeah you never know when guests are going to ask you to dress up or do a silly dance, whatever. You know, a lot of chefs want to hide in the galley, but I'm an artist. I enjoy creativity. When I was in Nicaragua, I actually met a clown, and he trained us for two weeks on the craft. And now he dresses like a clown. And this is when I started booing my television. I said, no. I just started screaming, no, pass.

32:37Ronnie Karam: Okay? Pass.

32:39Ben Mandelker: I wonder if clowning is different in Nicaragua than, say, like the Bronx, right? Are there regional nuances that go into the clown arts?

32:51Ronnie Karam: Well, I don't know who ripped off who, but it's, you know, the big lip mouth painted around the mouth. I mean, basically, it's like Lala Kent. It's like Lala Kent in both places.

33:05Ben Mandelker: He's like, I'm going to juggle, and then afterwards, I'm going to ask a bit. Yeah. So, yeah, he is in clown face and I'm mortified. Mortified for him. Mortified for all the clowns. I'm just mortified for everything.

33:19Ronnie Karam: Yeah, I kind of gave up. I just booed the TV and just kind of sat back and shook my head for the next 10 minutes. So V is now hunched over and Kizzy comes and puts her finger up her butt. And she's like, oh, my God, that nearly sent you flying. It's like, oh, my God, stop it. I like it.

33:37Ben Mandelker: and then nathan uh is asking the deck team to put the whip out on the starboard side so uh which basically means secure the tender and of course this is not going to go well

33:49Ronnie Karam: so christian's like what is that tess is like it's to secure the tender even i know that one come on

33:58Ben Mandelker: so and then asia stops by the galley and says this is the first time that i feel like i'm over 30 my body is really sore

34:09Ronnie Karam: meanwhile we've got Christian and Tessa trying to figure out ropes again which is not it's not going well again and Nathan's like oh my god attach a clip to the eye attach an eye on the whip eye on the whip eye on the whip what are we doing eye on the whip on this one is this a whip oh they don't even know how to put whips oh my god please the jet ski's floating away

34:30Ben Mandelker: another thing's floating so he goes after the jets Nathan's on the tender He goes after the jet ski on the tender, but then Max goes, it's an emergency. And he just jumps off the boat. And he's like, Max, no. Oh, geez. So he goes swimming. One of the guests goes, I don't know what they're doing. One guy's swimming. I just like Max going, it's an emergency. I mean, literally there's a tender going to fetch the jet ski. And so then Nathan gets the jet ski. So then Max has to swim back. And Sandy's watching like, Oh God. I mean, it's like Keystone cops over there.

35:03Ronnie Karam: Oh my God. what happened to that wave runner? Why did it drift away? Did it have a date with Norma?

35:11Ben Mandelker: Christian's like, well, it was my fault. I, I got distracted because I got another number from a, from a, from a seahorse over there. So I wasn't paying attention. And so he didn't know how to do the knot. So it floated.

35:25Ronnie Karam: That's not landing.

35:30Ronnie Karam: Captain Sandy's like, just that, that, that. No. Okay. No. He's like, yeah, we're going to have to have a meeting. You're going to have to have a huge meeting. You're going to have to have a couple weeks of training. This is crazy. Yeah. You have a boat crew who doesn't know what a whip is and doesn't know how to tie a knot. That's not good.

35:47Ben Mandelker: Yeah, it's not good at all. So Nathan's like, well, it's just got a wee bit hectic there for a moment, but I'll get them on the same wavelength. He's like, yeah, do it fast. Fast. It's an absolute shit show. I've just been standing at the swim platform watching things. Terrible.

36:05Ronnie Karam: So now Carl's recording himself. He's like, I'm currently in Spain right now on a beautiful, beautiful boat. And the question is, of course, are we going to see Bitcoin going lower? That's what we all wonder today. Is Bitcoin going lower or is Bitcoin going higher? Let's go back to the charts. The best time to buy Bitcoin? Always. Always. Today. Yesterday. Yesterday is the best day to buy Bitcoin. Guys, thanks for being with me on this special live stream about Bitcoin. Buy it now.

36:33Ben Mandelker: Good, better, boss. Never let it rustle your goods. You're better and your better is your best. And you're all buying Bitcoin.

36:39Ronnie Karam: But also, this is why I don't believe these guys, because we're doing Carl voice from Summer House. But this guy, this is how he really does it. He's like, I'm currently in Spain on a beautiful boat. Bitcoin, always buy it. It is always a good buy.

36:52Ben Mandelker: Bitcoin. And nothing could sound more fire festy and like con artisty than this guy being like, look at me. I'm on a yacht. Buy the Bitcoin. Buy it like as soon as possible. Buy it tomorrow. Get it as soon as possible. I'm like, okay, Mr. Ponzi scheme. How much money do you owe? Like, buy, buy, buy, buy, buy, buy, buy.

37:10Ronnie Karam: But Bitcoin is not something you sell at an MLM or something. It's not like they're making profit off of people buying. You know what I mean? Like they're not making commission. Are they brokers? I don't know.

37:21Ben Mandelker: Well, I guess if people are buying Bitcoin, won't that drive up, doesn't that drive up Bitcoin numbers? Well, yeah, of course. I mean, yeah.

37:27Ronnie Karam: If everybody's buying it, but it's just, they're making it sound like, I don't know, it sounds like an MLM cult. You know, like those leggings or whatever we did that documentary about. What was that? The Lululemon? No, not Lululemon. It wasn't Lululemon. It was like something.

37:42Ben Mandelker: Lularoe. Lularoe. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. There's just something about like the urgency and being like, buy it now, buy it now. It just feels like, I don't know. yeah they're cheese balls these guys feel like crooks yeah so anywho um they're they arrive for dinner for the bitcoin extravaganza meal which still doesn't make sense and uh they're they're show they're they're getting upstairs for that and then uh chief officer ben's just chatting with nathan nathan saying it's been a hectic day you know it's bad when they have to bring out chief

38:15Ronnie Karam: officer ben to have some sort of conversation they're talking to the like invisible crew that we're never supposed to see nathan's like oh jesus christ what do i do and he's like don't worry nathan you know when you're confident then they become confident too right you just need to be more confident he's like oh it's overwhelming the fucking shit out of me because you know we kind of all know that on below deck there's an actual crew that knows how to do things just in case but this is bad when it's like they hired a bosun who's probably not ready to be bosun and then gave him a crew that doesn't know what they're doing like they're we're going to be seeing we're

38:49Ben Mandelker: going to see a lot of barky i'm saying yeah yeah so um now there's some more cleaning and now the main event which is it's time to bring that jet ski back on the boat so the jet ski is like hooked up to a chain and nathan has that little remote controller thing that sits on his like tummy like uh like a waitress in the 1920s uh nightclub selling cigarettes you know and so she's he's like doing is I try to control it and say they're acting kind of like this thing is like a wild stallion and Sandy's like okay hey I'm here to help okay come on let's be let's go easy let's be focused okay see that light see that light watch out for that okay Nathan you can do it come on speak to the horsey come on and Nathan's like whispering in the horsey.

39:37Ronnie Karam: Concentrate. Okay.

39:40Ben Mandelker: Concentrate. Control. Control. Slow, slow. Watch out. Okay, you hit the light. Okay, let's not hit the light again. Okay, you hit it. The second everyone just... No pressure. Everyone's watching you. Okay, well, those lights cost money, Nathan. Control yourself.

40:01Ronnie Karam: Control the drop, Nathan. Control the drop. Do your food. And Nathan's like, it's a big swing. It's too sweaty. And then the light double crashes and slow control. Come on. Come on. Bring the wave runner. And then the jet. Oh, my God. It's just a disaster. And Captain Sandy is like holding a string like, look at me. I'm helping. I mean, the whole thing is just not good.

40:25Ben Mandelker: But watching that, watch that jet ski like knock over that lamp and then knock it over a second time. Oh, it's just so, so visceral. So great. We died. We died.

40:34Ronnie Karam: Alright, everybody, that brings us to the end of episode one of Below Deck Mediterranean Season 10. Thanks for being with us. Join us on Patreon for our bonuses and our videos. And we'll talk to you next week. Join us Monday at 5.30 Pacific for Crappy Hour. And we'll see you guys next time.

40:54Ben Mandelker: Bye! Bye! Watch what crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Allison King. It's always a party on Alison Block. Our way is the Amber way. It's the Foster and the Furious. It's Amanda Foster. It's Always Automatic with Ashley Otto. Put your hands together for Carly Clapp. Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt.

41:16Ronnie Karam: She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniela. Itchles.

41:19Ben Mandelker: We never miss her call, it's Diane Call. Aaron McNicholas. She don't miss no trick-a-less.

41:24Ronnie Karam: Hava Nagila Weber.

41:26Ben Mandelker: You'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones. I go, you go, we all go for Hugo. Jamie. She has no less namey.

41:34Ronnie Karam: She's our kind of mess. It's Jennifer Messer. Sips some scotch with Jessica Trotch.

41:39Ben Mandelker: She's our favorite streamer, Caroline Peacock.

41:41Ronnie Karam: Kristen the Piston Anderson. Get a bee in your bonnet with Lacey B. K-sirah-sirah, whatever we'll be, we'll Lauren Sills be. She gets an A from us. It's Lindsay D. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McHenry. We love her on the rocks. It's Melissa Cox. Megan Berg You can't have a burger without the Berg

42:04Ben Mandelker: This is Livin' with Michelle Vivian

42:06Ronnie Karam: I love-a-ya Olivia Williamson Tastier than Flanderson It's Rachel Manderson

42:12Ben Mandelker: She sure is swell It's Raquel

42:14Ronnie Karam: Yes we canna It's Sadana

42:16Ben Mandelker: Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman Let's share with Sharon Eldridge Darn Skippy

42:22Ronnie Karam: It's Tippi And our super premium sponsors She's VVIP It's Amanda V Can't lose when you're with Amy Baldwin

42:29Ben Mandelker: Somebody get us 10 cc's of Betsy MD.

42:33Ronnie Karam: We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva.

42:35Ben Mandelker: Let's get real with Caitlin O 'Neill.

42:38Ronnie Karam: Put us on a stretcher. It's Charlotte Fletcher. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily sides.

42:46Ben Mandelker: Who, what, why, where, and Gwen Pentland.

42:49Ronnie Karam: Let's go into the woods with Guy Tubbs. It's our queen. It's Queen Laifa.

42:54Ben Mandelker: Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall. Hail the cork master, the master of the cork, Jennifer Corcoran. We got our wish. It's Jen Plish. She's not harsh. She's Jill Hirsch. My favorite Murdo, Karen McMurdo. We love him madly. It's Kyle Pod Chadley. In the study with a candlestick, it's Leslie Peacock. G, it's Lisa H. We're ride or die for Lisa Ryder Baron. She's a whiz. It's Liz Sarthy. Always killing it. It's Lola Alkalani.

43:22Ronnie Karam: The incredible edible Matthew sisters. She eases our woes. It's Melissa St. Rose. There's a chance of meatballs. It's Rebecca Cloud. Neat. It's Ronit Feldman.

43:32Ben Mandelker: Maximum love for Sandy Maximoska. She's the queen bee. It's Sarah Lemke. We cannot tell a lie. It's Sarah Tell of Sun. Shannon out of a cannon Anthony. Please don't stop. It's Solian Pop. Let's take off with Tamla Plain.

43:47Ronnie Karam: She ain't no shrinking Violet Kuchar. We love you guys.