#3026 Crappy Hour 10/06-25: Alexis Gets Married and Scheana Fights With LaLa

0:20Well, hello, and welcome to Crappy Hour. I'm Ronnie and that's Ben. Hello, Ben. How you doing, baby? Hi, Ronnie. Who are you? Happy Monday. I'm really good because it's been a really heavy Sheena week in the news, which means Sheena comes on to explain things. And it's like a lot, like a lot of paragraphs with no commas, you know? Yeah, I love that. It's been fun. How about you? Everything is great over here. I'm just you know Just enjoying the start of the week I'm so happy Potomac came back last night I mean you know it was nice not having to podcast On Mondays necessarily But that show is so funny And I've been chuckling about it all day Chuckling I say You've been chuckling I chuckle all the time That's all I do I'm wearing a very shiny shirt today And also I took a nap today After we recorded And I woke up on my face Look at me I look like I just smoked five blunts.

1:24I did not, everybody. I woke up on my face. Okay. Terrible way to sleep. That's how I did dishes. After sleeping on my face. You know, I've been, I've been, I tried some of those. I think I talked about wearing those compression sleeves and they're so comfy, but like when you get your, take your legs out of them. Yeah. Your, everything looks crazy. Your, your legs look like stained glass. There's so much creasing and strangeness. Yeah. Have you considered that compression sleeves are kind of a weird form of masturbation? Really? Like masturbation? Well, I'm trying to be clean. As I'm sitting here, I'm trying to use the French.

2:08It's like leg masturbation. I saw you showed a video of it and it's still disturbing. Well, you showed, I think, you with a massage chair because we do those Amazon lives, you know, and Ben brought out this massage chair. And I swear to God, it looked like you were down with yourself on the thing because it has a leg thing and you put your leg in there. It's like, yes, it's a very sensual sales pitch. I was like, everyone buy this foot massager. Whenever you're thinking about this next time, you're getting sexy with yourself. I'll just start out a Larson only fans of me having my foot. Well, okay.

2:52Well, you know what was so funny? I felt, I felt fat shamed by those sleeves because I put on the sleeve and I had it on. And like, after it's like squeezing and squeezing and it inflates and squeezes. And then at one point the zipper just came undone and the zipper is like, and it just like, and I was like, geez, sorry. Sorry. So everybody in the comments is already talking, and it looks like the big subject so far this week is Stacey's breath on Real Housewives of Potomac, which I still find one of the more mortifying housewife storylines in a long time. Because, look, people live through a lot on Real Housewives.

3:29It's like, your husband's cheating on you. No, he's not. Then the husband's cheating on you. You're like, you've got all these criminal offenses. And they're like, no, I don't. And then they go to jail. And those do follow you around, but those are kind of normal. this poor woman is going to be going around the rest of her life and people are going to be like that's the chick with bad breath from real housewives of the comic and that's just not right that's not fair it's not right and it's not fair yeah it's i mean it's tough but like there's some people you know we've met them in in life where every time you see them you know they're gonna have bad breath and it's like it's not bad breath from like not not like rushing necessarily there's like some there's like some rot or something in there or like giselle says it comes from like deep within and it's like a medical thing and so like i try to be like respectful and ignore it but like sometimes respectful and ignore it what if you weren't what if you're just like yeah well people you know they said on the show that it comes from her gut and i wonder if she just doesn't eat because if you don't eat a lot you get bad breath i know because i've been on so many diets yes and you know there are some times where i've just like flat up not eaten for a really long time and you get like that i don't know what it is but here's what i know we're already spending this show which is my fault i know talking about her breath and it's just never going to go away and i feel bad for like bravo con's coming up she's going to be a bravo con everyone's going to be like oh go smell stacy's breath and people are going to be asking her for pictures and every picture she's in you're going to see the people kind of like leaning over to smell you know like ronnie if you feel bad for her for one second don't because you know it will be in about a week or two she's going to come out with a partnership with some sort of like breath freshener or mint.

5:06And she's going to be doing the whole thing. She's going to be making money off of this. Like you don't have to worry. She's going to, she will capitalize off of her breath situation. And honestly, I think sometimes it's fasting breath. That's right. Or a rotting tooth. Doha also says sometimes it's a rotting tooth. So, um, yeah, I was definitely, I was hanging out with some people yesterday and we were playing a long game and like, I could tell one of them was hungry because I don't know who it was, but there was some breath that was happening at the table. And I was like, well, you know. Oh, Beverly Bryant in the comments said, Camille said the same about LVP.

5:45Wow. Well, I think hers was cigarette breath. Remember? Because they were like, she always smells like cigarettes and wine. Because I remember thinking, well, that's not a criticism. It's like, oh, that smells like a person who's living a really fun life. Yeah, I feel like Lisa Vanderpump, her breath probably always smells like she just had poached salmon. Because I feel like she probably always has just had poached salmon. Lisa? I think tuna tartare. It's even worse. It's tuna tartare. That's all she eats. She eats it for breakfast like fruity pebbles. She just throws it in a bowl. You know what's the worst is like milk breath.

6:21Why is milk breath so bad? It's like that. I don't know. But other things went on this week. Let's stop talking about breath because now I'm like, you know, where you like trying to smell your own breath. Yeah. You start blowing it in your own nose and wondering, you know, I'm like, what is my breath? Maybe I just can't smell it because it's me. You know, that, by the way, that trick never works for me. I'm like, does my breath smell bad? I'm like, I just smell my hand. Does my hand smell bad? Was it my leg masturbator? so um hi okay so what else happened to the week other than someone having terrible breath sorry stacy god you don't deserve stacy you deserve better i'll give you that you deserve a deal with um certs you deserve better gum health okay so let's get on with uh the stories of the day shall we the big story of the week speaking of smelliness alexis bellino marris john jansen in a rustic chic wedding everybody it was rustic chic i like that she shiplap that shit she joanna gains that shit right up yeah yeah i think um rustic chic it's hard for me to like conceive of the concept of chic like i can't pair the chic with alexis bellino and definitely not with john jansen even in its most rustic form i'm not sure if i believe that i think probably like rustic basic is what it was base base model rustic well yeah take the chic out of it and you shouldn't you shouldn't base the theme of your wedding on your husband's general look i mean rustic is when things are just not great looking let's face it like when when you go to a rustic restaurant it just means that they'll dig up a potato and throw it on your plate like there's no presentation it's some ugly shit and we live in california we get served food like this all the time ben loves it i'm like no oh yeah you know like just made better like cut it cut it nicely that's what i say i literally just made some rustic cabbage do you want to see a picture of my rustic cabbage this is let's vary like alexis bellino coated okay oh hold on i'm waiting for it to clear see that looks like john jansen's face that's what i'm saying it's rustic he looks like a he looks like a rustic cabbage so over so overexposed that's right yeah well that's fair he is definitely a rustic cabbage version of war you're gonna have a wedding and make the theme like driftwood because that's what you're marrying evil driftwood i think is what he is you know like when people spend a hundred dollars on pieces of wood to put in their house you know it's like it's rustic driftwood.

9:04Some fucker found that on the street and just is trying to sell that on eBay for $500 or whatever. That's this wedding. Yeah. I'm sure there's like a lot of like ropey things in it. Like there's probably, what do you call that when there's like, like macrame or something? I'm sure like where you, I'm sure that she has like some sort of like ropey netting thing that looks like it would like be used like catch tuna, but she has like little like your table seat. Your seat, wherever you're sitting is probably like all tucked away in those things. And there's probably like mason jars everywhere. And I say this is someone who - Mason jars.

9:42You know there were mason jars. Yeah, and I'm a Texas. I'm a Texas boy. So I'm used to a good mason jar wedding. They're like, oh my God, we spent all night putting candles in mason jars. Which by the way, are not a cheaper way to do things. Those things are not cheap. Mason jars. They're not. um i feel like do you think she did something stupid at each table like um a questionnaire you have to fill out to get to know everyone else at the table or like a like a kodak advantage camera where you take selfies and stuff that's a good idea though i'm not i'm not going to diss that i like those i like when people leave the little cameras on the table and then you take pictures of you know the table takes pictures and then you develop all the pictures at the end and you see what everybody was doing at the wedding i mean that is so touching every one of me is like picking up the mason jar from the table being like like making a face like tacky and then shoving it in my purse you know so i can take it later because that shit's expensive i um i like you know sometimes at weddings they show the bride in the room throughout the years and uh i hope that they did that at this wedding mainly because i hope they just have like a picture at one table of alexis doing the news like that's that would be really important to me like her newscaster era I think one of the games of the shower was everybody gets a, like a different little representation of a face and then you put it together and it's the, it's the facelift that John Jansen paid for by the end.

11:05You know, you just like put it all together and it's Shannon like waving her finger. Oh, I really wish I would love to have witnessed the vows that, especially her vow that she would have said to John Jansen. then it's probably like, Johnny J, from the moment that I first laid eyes on you, wasted at the quiet woman, head down in a plate of Shannon Spaghetti, trying to ignore her yelling, I knew you were the man for me. I couldn't imagine a life where I didn't have your floppy face. And knowing that there was another soul out there who I could sue Shannon with just made me feel like I'd found the other part of my puzzle that was missing a piece.

11:50And that piece was you, a litigious little piece of my jigsaw puzzle. I knew I would love you from the moment I met you. Johnny J, having you is like winning an old chicken bone under a freeway that has been discarded and has been being fought over by two unhoused human beings. And I won. I won this chicken bone, Johnny J. I feel like she said Jesus a lot. I wonder if she referenced like trampoline parks, you know, like in this life of bouncing up and down and never hurting yourself. Of course you need a partner, a partner like Johnny J. Johnny J. I would like to see pictures of him when he's young.

12:33Cause one of these pictures where they're, they're in the sunlight and they're hugging. She's like holding his head from behind. Like she's pulling him closer. and he just looks like he fell and she's like dad are you okay and she just picked him up like you need to go to the hospital dad answer me answer me are you in there dad not now dad come back dad come back well i am i love the article that people make so i love the article that how they describe things uh it was in laguna beach it was um a wedding attended by 140 of the couple's closest family members and friends, including Orange County's Tamara Judge, Joe De La Rosa, and Heather Amin.

13:17If you are name-dropping Heather Amin, you're scraping the bottom of the barrel. Heather Amin is barely even associated with this show. I'm surprised she wasn't like, and also, the driver who drove Gina and Tamara through a fake carjacking, she was there too. The buttercream lady from Real Housewives of Orange County. Who's Heather Amin? so uh i think it was last season or maybe the season before um i think it's the season before there's a lot of like uh ryan is cheating on jen and she and he sent dick photos to heather amin and there was this other girl heather amin who showed up for one episode but it was this controversy where it was like heather and tamra and jen pedranti were like on a text thread together and it was all about heather amin but also by the way she's the one who got the lamp probably makes any sense yeah i mean look if i was the person who got the limp wiener photo from ryan unsolicited and it like traumatized me i would at least expect my name in the people article to be blue like have a blue line under where you could click my name i feel so bad for she doesn't even have a blue line look at her plain ass name up here look i'm gonna highlight it so she feels better well also look they didn't even uh give a give a hyperlink for galena they gave it to McBee Dynasty, but not for Galena.

14:37I still don't know why Galena is there. I think she just was determined to go to a wedding since she missed the last one on her show because she crashed her car. She's like, must see nuptials. She's at the wrong place. Must go to fake wedding. Finally got here. We are like family. We are like family. I missed, I unfortunately crashed car before I could see person marrying other person in boring way. So I'm hoping to make up with this right now. Fingers crossed. I almost cross her. I will kill you. So we envisioned a dreamy, romantic, rustic, chic vibe with earthy elegance. That sounds disgusting.

15:15Listen, if I've ever if I ever meet somebody and I'm telling Ben about it, I'm like, hey, Ben, I met somebody today. They were earthy. That means they smell. OK, I've never used the word earthy to describe somebody that doesn't smell. earthy elegance that's like the time i ran a tough mutter remember i am hilarious i am a comedian but doop-a-doop-a-doop-a-do that's seinfeld earthy like the groundlings so the bravo star instantly knew her breathtaking venue was the one she stepped out of her car first visit and immediately felt the presence of her mother penelope who passed she was also drawn to its intimate setting um well that's that's where i want to get married where i'm like you know what this reminds me of someone who's passed away it's earthy i'll take it here's my deposit um so our venue gave us that perfect earthy kitch oh my god that's totally my drag name earthy kitch Eartha Kitsch Oh Earthy Kitsch Get it Get it You're like no Eartha Kitsch It's two puns on top of one It needs to be one Like Eartha Kitsch or Earthy Kitsch How about this Earthy Kitsch Earthy Kitsch Earthy Kitsch More like earthy shit Alexis Bellino There Punchline

16:52Her venue gave us that perfect mix of natural beauty and privacy Nestled between the canyon and the sea Oh my gosh I wish it was closer to the sea Like in the middle of it They had an incredibly emotional and spiritual rose ceremony Honoring the couple's loved ones as Waymaker Played in the background I don't know what that is And then at the reception The newlyweds had their first dance to I Got You Babe originally Alexis was excited because she thought the lyrics were I got him Shannon but unfortunately she was corrected got you babe got you I got you babe I got Jenny J babe guests were highly discouraged from wearing black I love that they had to tell people please don't wear black to our wedding like that was actually a fear where Alexis was like oh my god people are going to wear black to my wedding I would have Shannon would have We should have all done it in solidarity with Shannon.

17:50Just showing up. I would have loved Shannon showing up like a funeral, just like in a black veil, like little black fascinator, black hat sitting in the back. Come on. I know. Casting their curse. No one knows who it is. Melissa Gorga thinks it's her sister. Yeah. There's a picture of John and Alexis. I think it's like after the wedding and he looks deranged. He looks absolutely deranged. I don't know. Hold on. Yes, that one. Were they facing the wind machine? Did his forehead grow four centimeters? I don't know what happened here. I don't know, but it's an interesting palette. It's an interesting choice.

18:36I mean, good for her, I guess. You know, the horrible people deserve love too, I guess. That's what I tell myself every day at least. But, you know, there was some trauma in this. because she disinvited someone very important, and that was castmate Jennifer Pedranti. Dun, dun, dun. Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue, but not something orange. That's how page six puts it. It's very poetic, their writing. Yeah, that's very, very poetic. Yeah, this is like a surprise because essentially, apparently like Jen was going to be there, but Alexis had some sort of like medical procedure she had to undergo and she reached out to Jen and Jen was not there never responded and never followed up and that's when Alexis realized like maybe this is not the friend for me and so even though Jen got to save the date when it came time for the invitations she received a text message instead that said there's the door friend of shannon badour it's time for a commercial it's time for a crappin's commercial

19:46i get that alexis is just calling paces she's calling the press with all of this news but why is the press listening why does anybody care about alexis and john jansen's wedding why and why this like this is so crazy this is whole other stories this was like a whole other news cycle where she's like yeah despite everything she was going through alexis reached out to Jen before the procedure to share what was happening. And sadly, she never received a response or a check-in for Jen during that time. That was personally difficult. That was personally difficult. Now, we're not going to elaborate on the nature of the medical emergency, fixing your nose before you get married, probably.

20:25But it was bad. And she felt a truly strong bond with Pedrante and genuinely wanted to include her but the lack of support made her reevaluate their relationship you guys. She had to make some tough decisions about who would be included. I love when people hold their wedding like, oh no, you don't get to come to my wedding. They still send you that gift registry though. Yeah, well Alexis, this is how you wind up with having to name drop Heather Amin because you disinvite people over stupid stuff. I mean, I'm sure it sucked if Jen wasn't there for you, but to disinvite from the wedding, that just shows how tenuous your relationship was in the first place.

21:06Yeah, she said that, she told the Pedranti that it may not be the right time because I feel a shift in our connection and I sense some distance. So right now, Alexis is focused on health, happiness, and the love she's building with John. Okay, guys? When reached out to Jen, And it's not in here. But, oh, yeah, it says, Alexis continues to believe that Jen is a good person and wishes her nothing but the best, adding she remains hopeful that they can reconnect in the future. The door is always open. And Pedranti says, I respect Alexis's decision, and I wish nothing but the best for her and John.

21:47And, you know, I did get the disinvitation, and I just want to say thank you so much. Thank you so much for thinking of me and reaching out. Thank you so much. I appreciate it so much. Thank you so much. um speaking of jen pedranti mike in the chat just said that dawson fainted during his uh marine uh graduations during a marine graduation survey how he already graduated i feel like he just got in there what is it quick um but he faint fainted uh and i guess he i guess it has something to do with i don't know some illness or whatever but this guy is kind of having a tough run of it huh jeez poor guy i wonder what's going on yeah two faints like a tattoo fainting because everyone people were kind of like joking like after the tattoo thing like oh well good luck in the marines but now he's actually fainted it's like uh can we look into this a little bit poor guy yeah you know it is kind of worrisome that whole tattoo scene i thought what's going on here i mean i would have been freaking out if i was in there i would have been like what did you do to him you get him out out of here you're trying to kill my son you know like i would have been throwing a fit i almost threw a fit just as a viewer watching it but the commenters were like that's no big deal it happens when you get tattoos it triggers something in some people where the fear of needles turns into a thing and they're like totally used to it and i'm just surprised because i've literally never seen the internet be so calm about anything like the internet's where you go to find people being as dramatic as possible it's like oh my god what could this be and like list 30 different diseases that this could be and you know this is this is like the one thing that i've ever come to the internet to read comments about that people are like no bigs no bigs yeah i was surprised because it was like very scary for me to watch i mean he like his face became ashen like when he passed out and his body went lip and it's just like his face had this look and i was like oh my god this is terrifying easier or something i don't think he just fainted fainting is when you just fall over.

23:47I fainted. Remember when I fainted? It was not good. I fainted on a stepladder in my house and I woke up draped over it like crumpled. I looked like a crumpled dog. Because I was taking blood pressure medication and I think it went too low. Who knew? I mean, it'll kill you if you don't take it. It'll kill you if you do. Yeah, everyone continues. There are a lot of people who are like, yeah, it happens right here in our chat. They're like, it's you know something that that goes on you know i just thought it was funny that it was like this very serious scene and they they promote they they teased it last week they teased it coming up and i was like oh god he's gonna faint soon oh my god it's gonna happen it's gonna happen i'm like sitting there i'm like on the edge of my seat because i know something something terrible is gonna happen he faints they wake him up and then the music's back to like i was like no you do not give us casual music this person had a medical emergency in front of her eyes you can't go back to like the fun sassy going to zensations afterwards music yeah agreed uh so what do you see in the news that you would like to discuss today honey what would i like to discuss well can we discuss this um spate of bravo stars quitting special forces i'm not watching this show i think we talked about it uh recently i was like i i'm not i'm not drawn to this show I know people watch it.

25:09I don't know anyone who does watch it, but I know people watch it. But to me, it sounds awful. And I'm like, I have this thing. I don't like reality shows where people have to be medevaced off or quit constantly. Like my least favorite seasons of Survivor are the ones where like seven people get injured because it's like I came, you can't like dangle a personality in front of me and then have them get like injured on episode three and be gone the rest of the time. So I'm like wondering, why is this show doing this to our bravo stars this is wild well especially when we know they can't handle it because we all watch the traitors and whenever the bravo people get to the challenge parts they quit um most they just quit you know all those physical challenges on the traitors they're like nope can't do it i'm not doing it can't do it won't do it how about that yeah and so they always lose those and so now there's a whole show dedicated to just watching them quit and stuff, which is weird.

26:06Now, that show does look like bloody hell. I wouldn't go on in the first place. I mean, the paycheck must be good because I can't believe you can even get Teresa Giudice onto that show. Even though she had her whole workout. She works out a lot, so she's in somewhat decent shape. I think what would be harder for Teresa is having the truth yelled in your face a lot because that's one of those shows where it's like basic training, so they're yelling things at you like, you went to jail, you goddamn loser this isn't where we get to be criminals and run off okay this we're gonna pay your dues you think you were paying your dues by being in there sewing ponchos with martha fucking stewart no get down give me 20 criminal not an astral so i mean i imagine like i didn't watch it yeah i don't i don't it makes me uncomfortable but apparently theresa um quit because they had some sort of challenge where they had to like beat each other up.

27:03Like that's like, I guess you have to punch each other in the face for like a minute or something like that. And when it was Gia's time to enter the fray, Teresa's like, no, I'm not going to do this. I'm not going to just sit here and watch my daughter like and just not do anything, which I actually think was admirable. I'm like, I think that was like a, like I say like, I salute you. You're going to just sit there and watch your daughter get punched in the face just for a paycheck on reality TV. I know some people would say yes, but like I think I would just I mean, I would have just like quit after five seconds of this entire show, to be honest.

27:37Well, you know, people I read some comments on this when this story was happening and people were saying, well, you know, as a mother, that really is hard to watch your kid fight. OK, well, if it's that hard, then take your kid home to be like you're getting in the car with me. I'm not watching somebody beat you up. Get the hell out of here. It's not worth the money. but if you're gonna let them stay and fight then you need to stay and you need to like call the other person that she's fighting names like that's what a good mother does like you're never gonna win this fatty you know you need to get like my mom out there it's like threatening to kill their mother who's right next to him like really you think your son's so tough you want a piece of me bitch you want to pay some dick um that's how to be a good mom you know not just leaving her there it's so weird because you know gia probably needed to feel supported i mean she helped raise Teresa's kid when she got thrown in the clink.

28:24The least she could do is like stay there and root her on while she gets her ass kicked by somebody from celebrity rehab. I'm sure Gia was fine because she probably said, okay, we can do this fight, but let's do it at my mom's house. She's got a pool. And they're like, we don't want to go all the way to New Jersey. Well, okay, but that's where I'm going to be. All right. So that's one person who quit. And then Eva Marcel was on there and she quit because she almost drowned while they were swimming. and her partner, Jussie Smollett, good Lord, what is happening on this show? And why are we as Americans allowing this?

28:58That's my question. I'm asking that about the actual real news and also this show. Why are we standing around watching shit like this happen in this country? Why are we putting Jussie Smollett on a TV show and then trying to drown him with Eva? Just drown Jussie. He's the one who deserves it. Leave Eva out of it. yeah i um uh i i'm like what see this is why you don't sign up for these shows because basically they were put into like a submerged boat and they have 20 seconds to like swim to like a door and then jussie led them to the wrong door and then they emerged and then she basically like went unconscious so they had to like you know medevac her out of there yes correction she did not quit sorry everybody um because we don't watch this show i just am going off headlines so she did not actually quit.

29:46Katie says she got a medical withdrawal. They kicked her off. So she didn't quit. So sorry. That was bad phrasing on my part, but a Bravo star didn't last. I guess it just goes under the category of early, early departures by Bravo stars. I just think, um, I think it's like too much for, for a TV show. I mean, call me crusty, but like, I don't know, like let's not put people in submerged submerged boats and then ask them to swim out of it and be like, hey, follow Jussie Smollett to safety. I don't know why that does not feel like a safe thing to do. They're like, oh my god, your finger hurts. Trust me.

30:24If you want your finger to feel better, stick it into the slight socket. Trust me. Trust. No! Why are you having me do that? I'm not doing this. I'm quitting the military. That sounds really scary. Someone said that Eva actually went through the correct door, but I guess Jussie went through the wrong door. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know what it is, but that sounds terrifying to be how many, like, it's too scary. Like let's do the tight ropes or whatever in the bungee jumping, but like, do not put our celebrities underwater. Like it's not going to work out well. This is not a place for celebrities to thrive.

30:58And the other person who, well, I shouldn't say quit because she didn't quit, but this person did quit. And that was britney on day one britney was out of there in two seconds um and she was saying wait a second she was hey wait a second why can't where's the where's the thousand island what are you talking about this is special sauces right no it's special forces oh i don't want to be here i'm out of here it's hard and she was saying you know when she got there there were clips in her confessional or whatever of her saying, oh yeah, my ex was telling me you can't do this. You can't do this for two seconds.

31:37You're only three by five seconds. And then she didn't. She didn't last more than five seconds. And I hate when Jax is right about stuff. But they're just, you know, like, look, you want people to believe in you, I guess, right? That's like a normal human emotion. You want people who know you to believe that you can do it. But I know my limits. And I have to say, everyone that knows me knows my limits. and I'm not really surrounded by delusional people who would be like, you know what, Ronnie? You should do it. I think everyone I know would be like, Ronnie, you will die. Do you understand how many pushups you have to do?

32:09You're going to have people screaming at you in your face and calling you a weasel and everything else. They're going to be mean to you, Ronnie. You're going to poke them in the eyes, get arrested, and then quit crying, okay? They don't have ho-hos at training camp, Ronnie. Like someone just needs to be honest, you know? I don't need to prove to anyone that I'm tough. I'm not tough. I'm not tough. And that's okay. I'm not tough. Like, why do we have to be tough? I don't need to get a Ford F-150. Okay. I have my Kia. I drive her around. I go to Whole Foods. I'm not tough. And that's okay. Okay.

32:42Because if we're all tough, then no one's tough. Sorry, everyone. No need to, like, I don't have a void in my life where I have to prove I'm tough. I literally am not tough. I am the, I'm a soft, sweet man. And I don't need to be yelled at on TV by some drill sergeant just to prove nothing to no one. Yeah, I agree with you. I wouldn't do it. When the going gets tough, I get going home because I'm not going to stay here anymore because it's tough. I'm not going to do it. Huey Lewis said it, I think, right? Who said it? No, I think that was Billy Ocean. It was Billy Ocean. When the going gets rough.

33:21Ron is in his car in his car I'm not staying there for that I'm exhausted I need a new drug well that's that's one I really relate to too why don't we have better drugs one that won't make you sweat

33:43Bethany Frankel compares living in Connecticut to a prison I need a new house I need a new house One that won't make me bored. One that won't make me feel like I'm trapped in Connecticut. I need a new beach. I need a new view. I need to live down in Miami. So I could be like, Connecticut was awful. I hated it. I hated everything about Connecticut. Nothing against the state. The state's beautiful. But I was trapped. I was trapped. It was my lifestyle. I was trapped. I would just sit there. I'd go on nature walks. I hate my nature walks. Now I can go to the beach. I can walk on the beach. Because the beach is different from nature.

34:11Okay? You see what I'm saying? If you want to not be trapped, go to Miami. Okay? It was stifling. It was depressing. It was soul crushing. Basically, like I can't, I can't with Connecticut. Fuck Connecticut. I can't. The real place is Florida now. That's where everybody's at. Like all the cool people, they're in Florida. The Hamptons, it's over. It's over. The Hamptons is over. Florida's where it's at. Wow. I'm so proud of Bethany for discovering little known secret hidden gem of America, Miami, Florida. That is such an amazing discovery by her. I am proud of her and I'm glad she finally ridded everyone and herself of the national scourge that is Connecticut.

34:51When did she go to Connecticut anyway? I don't remember her being in Connecticut. I didn't even know. Well, I wanted to go there because it was the nutmeg state. And I like nutmeg. But then I realized I hate nutmeg. Who likes nutmeg? Who even puts the nutmeg into their margarita? I had to get out of this awful state. They're terrible. Take me to the margarita state. Now, every day, I jump in the ocean. I'm just in the ocean. I'm in the salt water. Okay? I walk in the sand. Okay? I feel sand in my feet. That's what I feel. Ow. What is that? Sand. It's sand. It's in my feet. Okay? I can't believe this is my life.

35:19Like this is what connects me to the earth. Sand. Okay. Some people love mountains. Some people love a lake. Some people love a desert. Some people love a cactus. Some people love an open field. Like love what you want. What am I going to do? I'm not going to tell you to love. I'm not going to tell you to love. Love is love. I love sand. That's it. You can marry another man. I can marry sand. That's it. I'm marrying sand. I'm done. I have to say, this was eye opening for me. I never thought that moving to a tropical paradise next to like turquoise seas and amazing restaurants and nightlife would actually be a great place to live.

35:53I mean, I was like, oh, how boring living in Miami. There's nothing to do there. Just, you know, international art festivals, beautiful people, fancy cars. Who needs it? I want to take me back to the northeast where it's freezing cold in the winter, hot and humid in the summer and nothing but mosquitoes and Lyme disease everywhere you go. Yeah. Yeah. Connecticut. I mean, Connecticut, I've always thought was very pretty, but living in the city and not having a car or anything, whenever I did go to Connecticut, it was very rare, but it was usually with someone else like to do a catering gig or something like that.

36:30and so just coming from you know the hovels that i lived in in the city in the boroughs was my impression of connecticut was like oh my god it's so beautiful there's trees you know like i saw green in the sky it's like beautiful and i thought it was beautiful i always thought connecticut was very beautiful so i don't get the connecticut slander i mean geez i i grew up on the connecticut border so i spent a lot of time and i continue to spend lots of time in connecticut dom is from connecticut i am married to a connecticut person i'm not really married I just sort of theoretically live married.

37:01But like the truth is that - You are common law. Look, I'm disappearing right in front of your eyes. Yes. Look at you. Wow. But like, to me, it's just so funny. Connecticut is a beautiful place, but fine, you don't like it, fine. And you know, like Connecticut's beautiful, but the Northeast is a little tough to live in. But Bethany, like making this proclamation, like she's figured it out. She's figured it out how to live life better. It's like, yeah, you went down to the beach. Like, this is news. This is news that the beach is better than like, I don't know where she was. New Canaan. I don't know.

37:37She's that kind of person who moves. She makes a decision and then she has to shit all over the place she was just at. You know, she can't just move and be like, I was ready for a change. It has to be like, Connecticut is terrible. It's disgusting. Like, Ramona, you know, what is happening to New York City? It's disgusting now. So many people on the street asking for money. asking if like she had a big rant a while back um like if you want to go to florida just go you don't have to talk everybody into it like everywhere else doesn't suck just because you decided to make a change just go just go commercials here comes one right now

38:19i don't know i i saw something very briefly yesterday that said that gen z is like something that's like viral that's happening is that um gen z is pushing the limits of when ice cream season can be it's like i and it's like i guess gen zers eating like taking pictures of themselves eating an ice cream cone in october and like look ice cream's great even when it's cool out i'm like you fucking idiots ice cream everyone knows ice cream is great year round that's why it's stocked year round and we all keep on buying it like this me this is like bethany's ice cream is great even when it's cool out moment.

38:54It's like, of course your quality of life down by the beach is better. Of course, ice cream is still great in October. It's delicious. I'm sorry. I'm so mad about that trend. I'm so mad. Of eating ice cream? No, I'm mad. I know you clearly were not listening. I was looking up a link. There's no way that you would have had that relaxed reaction there's no way what i just said i'm so sorry furious i know well once i heard that i should have been furious about it i was like oh no what did i miss um what you missed was jen's ears jen's ears they are like a viral thing is them taking pictures of themselves eating ice cream in october and saying like wow ice cream is like good even in cool temperatures like even in cool weather it's still good like they're challenging the idea that ice cream season only has to be in the summer like we've all everyone knows that everyone knows yeah you feel like you invented something new by liking ice cream when it's fucking cold outside come on how do you think you haven't stores stay open year-round because people need comfort you know you get it when it's cold outside you eat it when it's warm inside what's hard to believe around here about that.

40:15If you, if like, let me tell you something. I am like the post office when it comes to ice cream. I don't rain or shine, snow, storm, hurricane. I am going to Jenny's and I'm going to get myself darkest chocolate. Does not matter what time of the year, what the weather is. Two things you can rely on with me are me going to get some ice cream. And I don't even, honestly, there's no other thing that's as reliable as that. That's it. It's just one. I'll eat ice cream anytime. I'll be eating ice cream when I'm dead in the grave. They'll be like, that is the first corpse we've ever seen binging on ice cream.

40:46It's going to be me. Okay? I will eat that shit. I don't care. But congratulations, Zumos. You figured it out. Alright, we need to get to the biggest story of the week, which is this fallout between Sheena and Lala. It's bad, you guys. It's like really bad. So much thirstiness because Lala is now shooting the valley. The rumors are that Sheena was not asked to shoot the valley um that they chose lala over sheena then there were rumors that they did offer it to sheena but they offered her a friend of and didn't want to give her any money so she decided not to do it and of course sheena's coming out and saying no it's totally my choice because like it's my choice to be like bigger and like do something else you know what i mean and of course it's paragraphs and paragraphs as sheena blather how else do i say it but apparently she got in a fight with Lala it's hard to get through either one of their diatribes about it because it's Sheena and Lala you know and I don't keep up with either one of them outside of their shows so it's kind of hard to follow from what I'm getting it's it seemed like it started when Sheena was officially hired for the valley but it really happened because apparently Lala told, Sheena told Lala about Brock's affair in confidence, and then Lala told Brittany or somebody, or Brittany or Zach, who ended up spreading it around, and it never even got back to Sheena that people knew, but when Sheena found out much later that Lala had done it, she felt super betrayed by Lala, and that's not women supporting women, and so then they got in a big fight, and so it's like, really, it's like really deep, you guys.

42:24It's like a big Please listen to both of their podcasts nonstop to find out what's happening. Yeah. Yeah. It's a tragedy. It's a tragedy to know that they're with them. Well, here, I'll read you some quotes. I'm taking it that you don't. You were like, why are we not talking about ice cream anymore? No, it's because when I went. And you ruined it with Sina Lala. No, I read these articles earlier. And I just was like, I was literally, I was like, this is Sheena creating her own news cycle or trying to, I was like, no one cares about if you and Lala are not on good terms. Someone is always bound to be on bad terms with Lala at some point.

43:10And you're bound to be falling out with someone at some point. So to me, this is just, I don't know what to believe. She even says, she says in her book that they manufactured a fight at that engagement party in order to distract away from something or another. I think it was like the engagement. And then now she's saying how she and Lala, um, she, even though she was really mad at Lala, she pretended like she wasn't mad at Lala to keep up public appearances. So honestly, she's sort of confessed now twice that like what you see isn't always what you get with Sheena shocker. And so like, I never know what she's doing really just to drum up attention for her book and what she's doing just to be Sheena.

43:48So it's hard. And then all of the interview and all of the things that I've read, the clips from her podcast, of clips from other podcasts that she's gone on to talk about because you know sheena so she's booked herself everywhere she's talking about it everywhere everywhere she's like well you know like now as an author i'm like is it about my book is it it's not about your book can we stop acting like you're the new sydney sheldon just stop yeah like it was another bravo book that came out and was gone within one week news cycle okay where you made an ass out of yourself and admitted to faking storylines and all of this other crap i just it's just hilarious in every single thing she's like oh my god well that's an author i can say this like no no sheena like you just voiced voice to texted some shit out to a pr person like stop it so sheena hinted that she was upset at several friends including lala after they didn't post anything publicly showing their support of her memoir my good side oh my god so here's what sheena here's what sheena doesn't understand sheena does all these things like like someone if katie were to drop a single you know ounce of anything entertaining she would like you know she would be like go support my girl katie and then like if britney does something like support my girl britney she's on special sauces or anything but when it comes to her they don't they're not going to support you and like That's why it's frustrating with Sheena.

45:11She'll always say, well, I'm a people pleaser, which is very self-serving. And I like to always bring up the drama triangle, the Kaufman drama triangle. And she is like the martyr in that one. And she will support all her friends knowing that they're not going to support her back. And then the moment that they don't support her back, she can be like, no one supported me. And she can sort of use that as ammo. And I'm just like, you just have to move on from these toxic people. You're not on the same show with them anymore. You're not going to be a cast member of season three of the Valley. And you have a child at home and a husband.

45:47And you guys should just like work on having a peaceful, lovely family at this point. Well, that's weird that she didn't post about her book though, isn't it? I mean, if they're like best friends, they move into the same neighborhood and they're raising their kids together. But Lala's transactional. Lala's totally transactional. It does seem weird that she wouldn't, but I mean, why wouldn't you just call her and be like, Hey, hey, would you post about my book on your Instagram? I mean, we have friends who do it all the time. They're like, we have a thing coming out. Will you post about it? You know?

46:14Oh, and by the way, to that end, our friend Sita, remember I mentioned that she has crystals that you guys should all, if you're a crystal person, you should check out her Instagram. She sent us crystals, Ronnie. Oh, I can't wait. Do you want me to open up the box? I have the box right here. I'll go get the box. Okay. So I'll keep reading. That was very convincing. No, I'm just trying to get through this La La story. Well, no, now I want to see the damn crystal. all i'm excited for it well you continue on apparently she um told so she told this gossip lala she told britney which sheena's like totally fine with okay because like britney doesn't have bad intentions i wanted to tell her myself but like i didn't have a chance to and then the one she can't get over is lala telling her mutual friend dun dun dun you guys wait for it this is a shocker jenna my friend jenna who i've not been on good terms with since last season wow jenna is is really just clawing her way into this show.

47:09She's clawing her way. She's going to be on this show. Could you just imagine being in a friend group where there's so much like being on bad terms with people at all times? Like, I just, I feel like with my friend group, it's just not like that. I mean, maybe when you're in your 20s, it's like that. But I feel like you sort of, at a certain age, you just have your friends. And like, to have this revolving door of like, oh, well, now we're not talking to each other. Oh, now we are. Now we're on good terms. But now we're not talking. I just think it's crazy. I guess that's just part of like being in LA and having, being like a reality star, right?

47:40And being a Bravo person there, you're just used to it. And their story, you know, they are still storylines. Cause like Lala's on the show. Sheena is probably going to, you know, friend of or whatever, who knows? So she continues. I mean, Lala just told Jenna to humanize me because Jenna was going so hard on me that she wanted to tell her about what I was actually going through. Now I understand it's not malicious. I mean, that's malicious. If you're, if you're talking to somebody who hate, you're talking to somebody who hates Sheena and you're like, Oh my God, be nice to Sheena. her husband's cheating on her that's not nice you're giving that girl all this ammo you know so it was very heartbreaking for sheena you guys and then you know she has all these feelings and blah blah blah we'll have to read her next book to know but she was very offended that everybody's spreading all these rumors about her trying to get on the valley so she went um she had alex baskin the producer um on her show and she just went crazy she's like okay is everybody saying that i'm trying to get on the valley could you please have i ever have i tried to get on the valley have you begged me to be on the valley he's like well we have been in discussions for a long time about how we could fit you into the valley it's like see i told you they're basically begging me to be on the valley so there's that okay and then people are saying i'm trying to get on orange county like have i ever asked to be on orange county and he's like no he goes yeah it's because I was at BravoCon and someone said, you should be on Orange County.

48:58And then Tamara's like, yeah, you should be on Orange County. And then Brock said something like, well, I don't even think he said this, but maybe he says something like that's Sheena's dream or something. And then it just like spiraled. So like, I don't even care because, you know, like it really hit me like Paige DeSorba left Summer House. And, you know, someone asked me a question, like, was that a mistake? And I said, yeah, it's a mistake. But then I changed my answer. And I was like, no, it's not a mistake because I like really respect her because like she decided to do something different.

49:22It's like she could have just done Summer House. But now look at her. She's like she's like doing Duncan ads. so like I'm really into it so like I'm basically like page to store by now and I'm like making a new thing for myself Sheena you are not gonna you can spend as many paragraphs as you want you are not going to convince me that your ass is not trying to get on Orange County and or the Valley or you're not just giving up reality tv to do something new you're not going to be coming out with a 10 book series and you know what that's okay shishu I love you for who you are just stay who you are stay thirsty and get yourself on that show backstab whoever you have to get then go get your go get your show girl well also like just her trying to kind of like sort of quietly like hitch her hitch her ride to pages horse you know like yeah you're like with all do as andy would say and you know i do love me some shishu because this is so classic sheena i love this about sheena like i love sheena but you are not page the sorbo i'm sorry you're not like you guys are very different very different you're like sorbet i have a question is there i was looking on instagram like a week i was like driving in the car or something and i looked down and it's there was like an image of like lala and tom schwartz together and it was like soft launch and i was like is is this a soft launch are they dating and is she teasing it and so i just looked it up right now because i was like oh we should maybe talk about that and on entertainment now earlier today like five hours ago lala kent gives tom schwartz relationship and update amid soft launch drama so of course there's drama because she started it and it looks like there's a screenshot and looks like she's on like doing a video and there's a caption that says who are you still close with from vpr cast oh you're really putting me in a tough position here and all the self-reflecting we've been doing i know that there are like times when they go like, hi, I'm the problem.

51:16It's definitely me. But Schwartz and Sheena and I will be fine. We'll be good as gold, as she would say. But she seems to be teasing this Schwartz situation. Do we think that Lala and Schwartz are a thing? No, not for one second. They faking it. She needs something to do on that show and so does he. But I think it's fake. I think she's just trolling people because there were rumors like, oh my god, they're probably dating. And so she was fanning the flames of the rumor by like doing a joke soft launch or whatever um can't but what's your crystal do you want to see your crystal yes i want to see my crystal let's end it let's end this with crystal viewing okay i'm opening up the box okay um so first of all shout out to art house crystals our friend sida this is her company she sells crystals on basically on the web or on Instagram.

52:11Okay. Taking out the paper. All right. I don't know if one is designated to us or not. Ooh, there's a bunch. Damn. There's like three for me and three for you. So there's five for me and one for you? That's so nice. Honestly. I'll open up one of yours. I'll let the other two be a surprise. Oh, she specified which ones go to who? Oh, you know what? This one's for Dom. Sorry. Oh, so I get two and you get three and Dom gets one. I'm still getting three. No, no, no. The three of us each get two. Okay, so Dom gets none and we get three. Okay, let me see. Okay, ooh, this one's real heavy. Crystals I haven't even seen.

52:53Okay. This one's really heavy. Okay, okay, okay. I'm putting the box down. Make this easier. That's one I'll use on intruders. Yeah, it's really heavy. This might be, I mean, watch me break it on the internet. That'd be so bad. Okay, I'm going to open it up. This is captivating. Okay, I'm cutting the bubble wrap. Get to it. I'm trying. She does a really good job with packaging. This is a really good endorsement of Sita's packaging skills. Sita's Instagram is arthousecrystals. So go to arthousecrystals to check out her stuff. Oh, damn. Honey, this is so nice. Oh, that's beautiful. Yeah, that's a stunner.

53:34Thank you, Sita. It looks magical. Wow. Oh, my God. I can't wait to hold that up to my heart. that's beautiful it feels like this is oh my god it feels like it's magic it feels like it's going to glow and i can like look into it and see the future i see the future and in the future china and like lala are like totally fine now we're basically like sisters oh my god thank you crystal thank you sida and thank you everybody for being here for crappy hour uh we're here every other monday at 5 30 pacific time we're going to skip over to the portion where we talk to you guys on video chat. I'm going to put a link up right now for everybody on audio.

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