#3029 RHOSLC S604 Part One: Warm and Muzzie

0:17So much Well hello and welcome to watch what crap ends I'm Ronnie and that's the gorgeous Ben Vonden Mandelka over there. Hi, Ben. Hi. How are you? Good. Welcome to the show, everybody. It is a very special episode. It is a toxic mother's episode of Watch What Crappin. Salt Lake City coming down the pike. Mom's not looking so great today. If you've got mommy issues, this is probably not the episode to listen to because guess who else does? Me. And I was triggered. I was triggered. it's gonna be a big moment this was the most captivating mother-daughter scene we've seen since linda and monica i will say and that scene lives in my head like that was to me one of the most gripping intense fascinating scenes we've ever seen on bravo and then this one came right along and is right up there with it if you ask me i have to say linda and monica at least seemed like they were having fun you know like they're that kind of mother and daughter who fight to the death and they just like they seem like that's so fun you know that they do it every day they kick each other out they steal each other's cars you know whatever's going on with them they seem to be enjoying it this was not as enjoyable to me this i mean that was like a fun romp compared to this geez good lord muzzy muzzle that woman take it take it take it from her name and muzzle muzzy that's what i say well linda and monica i don't think anything's really going to live up to that also that that scene was so intense and it was so long it like literally had a commercial break in the middle of it and still kept on going because there was so much and on top of that you had linda talking to like a a plant in the corner to just yeah the plant and like eating guacamole for dessert like it was so unhinged and there was so much that they were unpacking it was so it was like a one-act play this one though was this one was was a doozy though i mean And it was, I was, I was clutching.

2:21And I was also thinking about you, Ronnie, the entire time. I was like, ooh, Ronnie is going to be on one tomorrow. That's what I was thinking last night when I was watching it. I was like, I'm just going to. No, listen, you know, my parental issues, I'm older now. I'm calmer. We've discussed it all. We don't have the issue. But let me tell you, those old scars, man, they start burning, you know, when I see shit like this. And it wasn't just Bronwyn. I mean, it was Mary talking about her mother. And then you've got that nitwit Brittany talking about her daughters and Whitney, of all people, who's like storyline is finding a pole again.

2:55It's like, oh, Jesus Christ. Truly, that's her storyline. Lecturing Brittany. I mean, the whole thing was just a gift to anybody with mommy issues. It's like there's just so much. But as usual, before we get into it, crappy hour is every other Monday. We just did one this week. It was so much fun. 5.30 Pacific time, Amazon live. We're going to be doing probably weekly coming because we just love doing those. So we're going to be doing those probably weekly starting soon. Those are every other Monday for now when we're not doing the Amazon lives. And those are at 4 PM Pacific time. You can find those on your Amazon prime channel or on the internet or on your phone, wherever you are, just come find the information in our Lincoln bio over at our Instagram at watch what crappens.

3:44I'm Ronnie Karam and that's Ben Mandelker at, at. So, um, that's that. Um, let's get to this episode. Let's get into it. I mean, also, you know, for all the mommy stuff, there was just, this was a good episode actually. Like I have to say I loved this episode because it was also, it gave us like a little bit of a breather from the nonstop fighting, but then it also, it had the fighting too. and I thought there was like really like you know touching moments as well and there was what seemed to be resolution that we know is not going to be truly resolution but like sometimes with these episodes it gets really tense when people just hate each other you do sort of kind of crave them to just like understand each other so that they gave us that but where we pick up um we're still in the thick of it and basically uh we're at Lisa's uh clarity luncheon which I didn't realize it was called a clarity luncheon which that's so funny so um basically lisa is like blowing her gasket because of everyone coming for her lawsuits and bronwyn's saying she asked you a question and you're hurling insults at her i don't remember who she said she asked you a question oh yeah she asked you yeah she asked you a question um about being a crook and a thief the liar i love how they gaslight on their show like i just don't understand where you're somehow Lisa, like, what are you so mad about?

5:10That said, Lisa did have this huge thing where she's like, oh yeah, you want to ask me a question? Then ask me a question. Okay. What about your business? You're a whore. That's the answer. That's the answer. You're a whore. Okay. Does anybody else have any questions? Yeah. That was the clarity. Cause Lisa set up this whole brunch. Like this is the time to put it all out on the table. Ask me anything and I will answer anything. And literally everything that people asked her, she was like, I don't have to answer that. I don't have to. You suck dick for money. I don't have to answer that. At least I've been a happy family.

5:42You're always hurling insults, Lisa. I mean, why do you have to insult everybody? And then Whitney's like, I am triggered. I am leaving. I am going to the elevator. I cannot believe this. Whitney's terrible acting as she's trying to stalk off to the elevator is so fucking funny. And she never leaves, of course. And by the end of the fight, I was like, is Britney sitting there? They're like, okay, everybody, we're made up now. Britney's there. It's like, okay, I guess she came back from the elevator. Well, if Lisa wants to clear up these allegations, then she should be listening to our questions.

6:20But she's an irrational toddler, and I'm not going to stoop. I'm removing myself until she tuckers herself out. I am triggered. So then Lisa turns to Angie and is like, you said the nastiest things about me, which is basically Angie making the joke that Lisa's the new Jen Shaw. And she goes, but like, guess what? You only own one and a half lunatic fringe salons, which by the way, that's like a perfect, that's like something. If you only own somehow one and a half salons, that's nothing to like turn your nose up about. So Angie's like, who told you that I own one and a half? That's not true. Yeah, the rest are franchised.

7:01They're franchises. She's like, let me help you count my cash. I have three stations that I own and also a pint of tzatziki and the rest are franchises. It's a model I'm proud of. Yeah, but you know what? Be honest about what you own. You're always like, I own 10 salons, but you own one and a half. It's one and a half. She's like, I do not have one and a half. Why do I have to specify? Hello everyone. My name is Angie K. I am Greek and I own seven Greek salons. one and a half one and a half there is no one and a half you lie and you throw shit out there to insult me and so Angie tells us I finally figured out Lisa's tactic out she lies to deflect and make someone else to target and everyone is tired of it but you know what they're not tired of me being Greek I love that she's figured Lisa out it's taken a while wasn't really wasn't really this deep of a mystery I didn't lie.

8:01You know what? I didn't do it to insult you. You took it as an insult You just took it as an insult that you own one and a half Okay, and it's like you have no idea what I own so now they're fighting over how many businesses she owns and Angie Goes you own french fries. I own franchises. You should stick to it. You should stick to it I am Greek and she's like what do you mean and Mary goes french fries? there's like french fries she said you do french fries and i do franchises and mary goes oh that was good it was good i was like that i was like is that going to be our like high body count hair of this season i mean it's so early it feels like but like you do french fries i do franchise that is i mean that's like got levels to it i like i'm putting that one on a t-shirt.

8:55I'm going to wear that one out. I won't really wear that one out. Please don't. You do french fries. I do french fries. I'm going to be like a sassy girl from 2005. Look at my statement t-shirt. It would be better, honestly, if she had a potato farm or something or did french fries. I don't know. If she was from the Orida family, then that would be impressive.

9:20I mean, it's a head scratcher. It's a typical auntie one where you have to like scratch your head after and be like, wait, she does French fries? When did Lisa come out with a line of French fries? Oh, you know what? I guess maybe she's talking about Wendy's, which is also a franchise. Oh my God, franchise fight. Is that what she's saying? She's talking about Wendy's? I'm so dumb. You focus on getting fast food. I focus on running businesses. Or on another level, it's like you come in to buy the fries. I'm the one selling the fries. Like you're the customer. I'm the manager. I'm the fry cook. it's actually like on so many levels it's like you're a fast food person i'm a business person you're a customer i'm management you know you're there's probably a good third one there but i i petered out i feel so dumb i didn't really get that she was like coming at her about wendy's but yeah that is good yeah um but either either thing isn't really a diss i mean someone has a huge wendy sponsorship that's kind of good but angie having franchises like having a business that's so successful that it's been franchised is also really good.

10:22So they're like dissing each other with good things, which I kind of like about this show. They're keeping it positive. I didn't think it was like a diss on the Wendy's sponsorship. I think it was more like Lisa has really made that a big part of her personality. Like she doesn't even like the food in Italy cause it's too fresh. She likes fast food. Like that's her thing. I love fast food. I like going to Wendy's. I like going to McDonald's. We like going to Sonic. Like we love fast food. So she's just saying like, look, that's your thing. your lane is that you enjoy fast food like the trash box that you are and i'm in management because only good people work in business management right but like i that's it was it was cutting and it was it's also cutting because lisa has been trying to position herself as this mover and shaker like she's hanging out with blake lively and ben affleck and all these celebrities and like yeah tom sellick is coming to the vita tequila lounge it's amazing but she's basically like you think that you're in the celebrity class you're just you're just a lady who goes to the drive-thru that i own that's kind of like the implication and it's just it hits lisa like it was just a it's just a it was a real it's a real humdinger just like you i'm super proud of what i created okay because it's not just this it's not just dust mess dust mess dust mess she's like okay Well, let me ask you this.

11:45I invested in your son's line. I put it on my shelf to support Jack and your family, but you are doing nothing to help market it, but you're out trying to peddle yourself to get a partnership with Kerastas, someone that I've been partners with for 26 years. And she's like, I didn't peddle it. They love my shiny, pretty hair. They love it. And she starts doing her two-finger comb with her hair. They love my shiny hair. Sorry. I love that Lisa's first instinct is to elevate her hair instead of saying, no, I 100 % do market for Fresh Wolf and I do it all the time. And the fact that you don't see my hard work shows what a shitty friend you are.

12:24That was the obvious path forward. But instead, she's like, my heart's pretty. So yeah, of course I'm going to work with Karastas. Why are you not promoting Fresh Wolf? Promote your son's Fresh Wolf. It is a C line. It didn't really belong on my shelves in the first place. Karis Desk belongs on my shelves. It's actually a luxury men's grooming line, which is why I don't market it whatsoever to any sort of salons. She's like, is it? She's, yeah, yeah, it is. Well, it belongs in Walmart, which by the way, I would be so happy to have a product that was sold in Walmart. That's what I'm saying. They keep dissing each other with good things.

13:02She's like, wow, your product deserves a Walmart, a Walmart part sponsorship. Your product deserves to have a huge distribution across the country at affordable prices. Mary did an interview recently, and she was saying that Angie came up to her, and she's like, I have some gossip. And she's like, what? She goes, I saw, I think it was Lisa. It was either Lisa or Meredith. She's like, I saw them in a Walmart. And Mary's like, is this a huge diss? So funny. So that's her thing. It belongs in Walmart. You are very jealous. No bitch. You are you are jealous You question every single fucking thing I have just fucking stop This is ridiculous.

13:49I mean now you're coming for my kids brand and calling it a-list or c-list Like oh my god, we're at a point of no return Nobody wants to hear the business being called a C level business Can we just accept that that was not a nice thing to say? My toddler, who happens to be part of the LGBTQ community, does say that the C word is back. But apparently you cannot use it with businesses. So I think that there are some apologies that are old. Dag after dag after dag. It's a dag. That was a dag. Hold on. Hold on, everyone. I would like a word. I thought you were... Let me do a three-finger point. A monologue by Heather.

14:37A women's empowerment monologue from Heather Gay. I'm going to do a three-finger point to show how serious I am about this. I felt like you were absolutely, totally, unfairly attacked when we went camping. And you weren't there to defend yourself. And I understand your desire to clear your name. For you to go low and count her franchises, count her money, And then Angie, you just flipped it right back. And you're telling her the business line that she developed with her sons is a C-line. And that's like some sort of diss. We are here as women. We are here as entrepreneurs. We are here as people who've been held back by our own daughters while we wait for them to slowly get out of the house.

15:20And this is how we treat each other? I say no, ladies. We can be better. think about our ancestors back on the wagons coming over in long underwear were they coming after each other for being to walmart were they or for owning one and a half wagons instead of a franchise of wagons what kind of women are we it was not a diss it is a diss you're doing it to be a diss and I'm not afraid to say it to you. You don't need to go low and you don't need to go lower. We all need to get in our new offices with ice mint walls and create books, books that millions of little girls will read for inspiration.

16:06I want to be clear. I want to be able to talk to you honestly and I'm nodding my head to show that this is important to me. This was horrible, and I'm not horrible let me just say it wasn't horrible it was horrifying but mainly horrible and I'm not friends with you because of your legal filings or because of your tequila God knows it's not the tequila I'm not friends with you because of your sponsorships I'm friends with you because we have great times together being away from my daughters who hold me back year after year this has not been a great time I think you could probably say the same Everyone at this table could say the same, that you are a fearless, strong person.

16:48And when you're on someone's side, you feel invincible. But when you're against somebody, you feel completely vulnerable. And I have felt vulnerable. Oh, for Christ's sake, someone pull a curtain. Jesus Christ. Is this a poetry slam? Take the mic. Take the mic. And Lisa's like, you know what? But there's times that I felt vulnerable too. Hey, hey you guys you guys watch me. I'm gonna be vulnerable. Okay, vulnerable Vulnerable, okay, I grew up different than everybody so it looks different, but I'm vulnerable and Katsuneva's you I love you. I love you and I'm so sensitive when it comes to you Vulnerability guys vulnerable and being vulnerable.

17:32She's so ridiculous because when you love someone hard and when they do something to you It hurts

17:41I thought we were in a good place. And then it happens at camp. You have a conversation at camp. It's really fucking hurtful. Hold on a minute. This is vulnerability crying. Vulnerability. I apologize. I accept your apology in my vulnerable state. And I have all those same feelings about you. And even when I want to wring your little neck, I do love you too. And that's why I do get emotional. and that's why I fight back as hard as I do. And yo, and yo, Heather, I'm your biggest champion and I really love you, Heather. You're extremely honest with me. You know, even though your last name is gay and I really don't approve because it's not in either of my religions, but you're extremely hard on me when you need to be hard on me and I feel like you're only as good as the people you're around.

18:31You know what? Yeah, and that's why I had to get rid of my daughters, those good for nothing little sluts. So thank God. but it's from my heart. And I think you guys know, I don't say things I don't mean. It's like I told Blake Lively the other day. I said, please stay. Do you have a headshot you could sign? Because I'll put it up in my Premier Vida tequila lounge. You know what? And like Bronwyn, like there's things I see in you and I acknowledge in you. Like I don't understand about you, even if you don't think I see it. Like I see, I see that you could be a good person. Like you look like someone who might want to go to Wendy's And I like that about you.

19:09And Bronwyn's like, well. Yeah, you know what? Sometimes you may see a little frosty, but you know what? My love for you is biggie-sized. So, you know, go get your limited shamrock edition. Wait a minute. Are you just doing a frosty ad right now? Listen, I'm sorry, but it's hard to talk to the only person who hasn't taken this hint in season two and gotten hair extensions. I'm sorry. Well, I want to say it clearly in front of everybody. I did not take any pride in hearing about this stuff. I just wanted you to stop talking about me. And I know that I hurt you. And I know that you hurt me. And when you're ready to say that, I think that's when we move forward.

19:51And to end that, I'll give it a triple. It's a fourth one, actually. Okay. Can we raise a glass to friends that love hard and hurt hard? But I love each and every single one of you. You know, it's important to love your fans. And I do So cheers everybody They're like cheers I love this show I love that five seconds ago They're like fuck you slut You stupid whore You're nothing Your kids suck too Your kids can't even do business And five minutes later They're like love you I love you so much I love your posters You had the best posters made You are Greek I also love how when Lisa was saying I love each and every one of you They were showing all the women around the table and I was like, oh yeah, there's that girl Amy.

20:37I forgot she was there. Whitney's smiling. Yeah. Back from the elevator. That was nice. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappins commercial.

20:52So now let's go over to the Meredith Marks boutique where Seth can be wacky. It's wacky times with Seth. So they are going to be opening a store and Meredith is like, so here's what I'm thinking. The front part of this side should be just like this, a super and tiny chic little jewelry store that people walk into, or if you're Jen Shaw's posse, then you can shoplift from. And then they go through the back to a speakeasy caviar lounge, and in theory, we could go up a level and go back 20 feet from the biggest caviar lounge that Park City's ever seen. Watch up here. Sure, we could do crazy things up here, maybe threesomes, maybe we could get Polly up here.

21:36Oh, Seth, that's an addict.

21:40Put Chloe on my shoulders and we can see. Well, be careful, the light's up there, Chloe. My other toddler's about to get electrocuted. Oh, my God. Then we go to Mary and Heather having lunch, and Heather's like, I'm parched. You know, I over drank yesterday because I gave, you know, such a touching monologue. I took your tequila. Then I took Angie's tequila. And Mary's like, I don't drink tequila. I just, all I taste is medicine. Like it tastes like hospital. She's like, oh, so in hospital, not only has a smell, it also has a taste. She's like, well, all smells have a taste. Like when you pass gas, someone would say, oh my God, my mouth was open.

22:18And then you, nevermind. And it was like, I'm not, I don't, I'm not following. Tasting farts. So then we go to Whitney and Justin for my favorite scene of the episode. I miss the old days when people would be like, Whitney Rose has a pole in her house. So let's put the pole back up, Justin. It's been so hard being a CEO. I forgot about what really matters. What really, really matters. That's why I'm a proud member of MAPA. Make America pole again. And so she also, I think she got it wrong. I don't think people were like, Whitney Rose has a pole in her house. Like, oh God, we have to watch Whitney Rose on her pole in her house again.

23:04I think people, I don't think it was people were excited about it. I don't think one person in America was like, oh my God, we really need pole dancing over women being CEOs. What is happening to this country? What is happening to this country? Women leaving the pole to become CEOs? who the hell and I like that she's just so loosely using the term CEO too she's like after my turn into CEO I forgot about what's really important okay Leona Helmsley calmed out over there now I'm a CE pole so she's like well everyone thought it was like the GCST and moms would gossip about it in carpool and it was like the weird around town and I didn't care.

23:52It made me want to do it even bigger and more-er and louder-er and I stuffed that away when I became a CEO. I forgot and the failure of my business has really taken a toll on me. A toll that only a pole can fix. I need a pole for the toll. But now it's an abrupt sign from the universe saying it's like God said, get back on your course. Stop trying to do things like business and stuff. get on a pole. I love that in Brittany's mind, God is like, Whitney, this is a sign. Get back on the pole. And then God spoke to me. He spoke to me through a burning bush. He said, Whitney, grab up, squeeze hard, slide down.

24:43And then I like what she explains to Justin. You know, it's like, you know, those flowers that like close in, but then open up. I'm like you mean flowers You mean like all of them I was trying to think of what she meant I was like a Venus flytrap What is she talking about And then they open up again Like this and she's like bending over Her butt in his face he's like yeah okay Just trying to figure out how to work this L wrench Honey yeah but it's Like I had to close off And now that I'm coming out The other side it's like that Kind of flower when it closes off and then it comes out the other side of the floor.

25:25Honey, just, this is your husband talk to you. Get back on the pole. Just get on the pole. Okay, please. God said get on the pole. God did not say make metaphors. So then we go to Lisa and Bronwyn. So they meet at the Premier Vita Tequila Lounge, which I think we have to go to next time we're in Salt Lake City. And Lisa is like, oh my God, oh my God, but Bronwyn we're almost in the same jeans I'm like not even joking Bronwyn's wearing this crazy graphic print that's like it's super outre like it's like all these colors all these images and Lisa's just like in jeans I was like Lisa you are not about to wear Bronwyn's jeans I'm going to tell you that right now first of all I'm not even sure that they were jeans there were these it was like flowy fabric with like bell bottoms and stuff yeah I almost wore that I wore the wrong pants because I have other I'm like in like a crazy pants era and I wore these to the recap today.

26:20Let's see. Show some leg. Oh, look at that. That's fun. I'm wearing my Bronwyn pants for the recap today. Good for you. You know, it's getting to a little bit of the mood. So it's fashion, guys. It's fashion. So yeah, we launched it in June. We had great parties during Sundance. Blake, Ryan, Ryan and Blake, Blake and Ryan. You know how it goes. From people on stage, which we love. And Bronwyn's like, oh, that is your favorite. And it's like, I'm like, is that a worthy thing? But like, yeah, she's like celebrities. She's like, oh, you sure do love your celebrities. Okay. So why am I at this? Why am I at this Costco tequila lounge?

27:08Because it smells flammable in here. Well, you know, I felt like there were like so many voices yesterday. and it was like hard to hear anything so i thought it'd be like good if we chatted and kind of like figured things out in the presence of the vita tequila lounge which solves everything for everyone you know if jostin baldoni had been here he could have totally fixed things with blake damaging things were said and you know what i'm so sorry about those and i think it really stemmed from you feeling hurt about our friendship and me feeling hurt about our friendship and i don't want to sit in that space anymore.

27:46Listen, I don't want to sit in the space of losing. So it would be great if you didn't attack me in public anymore. What do I have to do? Okay, but what's going on between you and I? I mean, we can be honest, Lisa. We can be honest. It's been on purpose. It's been hurtful. It's been hurtful, Lisa. Yeah, I think what happened was I've said things that I didn't realize were like a big deal for you, which I take accountability for. And we see a flashback to like this ongoing issue with Lisa and this other family and that was Bronwyn's ex's family and yada. And Lisa's like, I'm sorry. Because Lisa was friends with the dead dad's, the dead father of the child's parents and knows them from church and stuff.

28:29So Bronwyn was like, you know, these parents fucked me over. And Lisa was, at first it was Lisa was like, oh yeah, I totally feel for you. And I feel for everyone in this situation. But then later came out that Lisa was saying that the mom said that Bronwyn faked a miscarriage so that she never had to introduce the daughter to them. I mean, it was just, that was a whole, that was a whole thing. That was dark. That was crazy. Yeah. So Bronwyn says, basically says, I don't think it was your intention to hurt me. And I think actually like, she's like, I want to clear this up. I just, you know, I had, when the way it began, like I had nothing but appreciation, gratitude.

29:11and she's like, yeah, I felt that. And we see, we go back to that like really moving scene where they talked about it last season at like the nail salon. And Bronwyn's saying how she like would have only shared it with her. And she's like, I never felt like more, nothing other than appreciative that like you put your time and effort into this. And you risk putting your relationship with them in a really weird place by talking to them. For me, and I always was grateful for that. And, you know, I've handled it with the most important person, which is Gwen. And we're in a good place. And I think it's just, she goes, Bronwyn goes, I think it's just like a race to the bottom right now.

29:42Cause like where we are, it's just, it's not who I want to be. And it's funny because, um, this is like Bronwyn's kind of like corporate talk that she sometimes leans into. And it's funny cause Lisa then borrows it like five seconds later as if it's like Lisa's corporate talk, but like she just steals it from Bronwyn. But, um, she basically is like, I just, you know, I don't want to, I don't feel the need to defend myself or my life. And if there's a mistake that I've made, I need to be accountable for that and I need to be remorseful for that. You know what? I'm accountable for doing the same thing, you know, like the deliverables.

30:12I mean, it made me defensive, you know, but I had a pie chart and John is my everything. He was like all orange and there was only a sliver of blue, which is everything else. And the biggest trigger for me is when someone brings his name up. You know, it's really hard unless they bring up fresh wealth because that's a big trigger for me, too, because you know what? It really is fresh and wolves are nice animals. so unless you're like in his business or in his bank account like it's hard for me to hear anything nasty about him you know and i think at amy's house that like set me off to a different level it was like a different level yeah but me saying maybe john is stressed is not the same thing as you saying i suck dick for clothes and that's what i'm saying about a race to the bottom you know race to the bottom yeah well a low comment is like never okay i don't want to race to the bottom you ever heard about that expression it's so good i just made it up i don't want to make it low comments okay i just don't want to do this i don't want to raise the bottom problem just like okay well you did just deal raised to the bottom from me which i took from corporate america and when i make a joke to somebody i think it's you know as a friend and then four years later you say you suck dick for clothes that's not really repeating it the same way i said it head nod that's like twisting it to make it dark and say i don't respect my husband i'm a whore big head not on that one it's different it's different big head nods okay you know what i don't think you're a whore okay and i've never said that you're a whore but that's what the insinuation is when you say i suck dick for money well you know what it's different when you're married you know and i would never call you a whore you're not a whore you're not a whore you're a you're a really slutty girl who got lucky you know what and god bless you she's like well okay here's what i want to do i I don't want to go back and parcel out every single thing.

31:56Okay. You've been hurt by the things that were directed at you because they were directed at you. I was directing them at you and they hit you. And so you got hurt. And I was hurt at the things that were directed at me. And so I'm sorry. So let's be friends. Okay. Let's just, let's just, let's just be nice to each other. And she was like, okay, thank you. But you know what? I hear everything you said. I mean, mostly nods. You just nodded, right? Did you actually say anything? Because all I can hear is nodding. Like I'm feeling hypnotized, right? Why am I tapping my head? Are you telling me to tap my head while you're nodding?

32:29Stop hypnotizing me, slut. Okay. You're racing to the bottom right now. Okay. So let's just try and move forward, please. Okay. Let's not talk about each other's husbands. Okay. We've married two pasty guys that most other people wouldn't touch. Can we just be grateful for that? No more husbands. Okay. okay and Todd is off limits and so is John yeah yeah and full stop okay okay so by the way I just want to say I've never said anything about the kids I've never said anything about the boys I haven't I don't even know what's going on with Jack is he real is that just like a snowman was that a movie you were talking about that movie with the snowman who came to life anyway I just hope he's on his way home soon I hope it's good yeah Jack comes home in like less than two months it's like so soon I hope he'll be okay because he's like he's around so many Michelin star restaurants.

33:24I hope he's okay coming back to Salt Lake City because like that'll be an adjustment for him for sure. Yeah, it's going to be really hard adjusting coming back to Salt Lake City after spending so much time in Glamour's Columbia. Okay. Well, Gwen's still at home and she graduated. She's not left. She's not left home. Oh, wow. That's good. So how's that? Well, my mom's also living with me right now. So. Yeah. Wow. Can I just stay here? Can I stay here? I would actually rather be at Vita Tequila Lounge. I need to make peace with you because I've got a house full of dog shit, my daughter's boyfriend and his semen everywhere, and my mom's eyebrows terrorizing me while also wearing novelty t-shirts.

34:07So I just want to know, can I just stay in Jack's room before he gets back from Columbia? Thank you. Well, my mom was really upset the other day because Gwen and I had a disagreement and she was like, well, I'm sick to my stomach. like, oh, do you think it triggered her? Did it trigger her? Yeah, well, she said to me that I think we should be grandparents before we're parents. You know, she was like, I'm so much more soft and open-minded with Gwen than I was with you. And it really was an important moment for me for my mom to acknowledge that she's been really hard, of course. And she called me a slut and threw a pan at my head and told me that she regretted never seeing me again and tried to run me over with the car while I was in the house.

34:46Thankfully, it was a weak car. It's a smart car. so it just it just hit the curb and stopped but it could have been ugly lisa it could have been ugly god i love my mom god i love her yeah and which is funny this whole little story sort of seems to imply that the next time we see muzzy she might be like kinder and softer because she's sort of having her own epiphanies on the side so the which is by the way does not well that's kind of what bronwyn is doing is spending the season trying to convince us that the people in her life don't hate her guts like todd and and muzzy and i think it's kind of a normal thing you know when you're in a situation where you have such a strong you know judgy personality growing up that you kind of try and compensate like they didn't mean it or they don't it's kind of an abuse thing right like an abusive behavior thing when you deal with that a lot you're just like they didn't mean it or they love me surely they meant this other thing and muzzy's just right there to be like no i didn't mean anything else i meant exactly what i said tart tart so uh brawin's like well um you know Like I've noticed as I've gotten older, there's things about myself.

35:49I hold really rigidly like everything. And I like to control how people feel about me. And I like to speak for myself. And I don't like anybody else to speak for me. And I want to correct words. I'm really just trying to let go of all that. I'm like really broad and rigid. I would never have never would have noticed by the fact that your lips are purged so tight that they are actually caving into each other and just making one big closed mouth. Um, I will give her credit though for acknowledging this because if you think about it, there's, there's sort of like an element of Bronwyn that there must be a parallel to like Erica Jane in some weird way in terms of like tough mothers, complicated relationship with their mothers.

36:30And they have this like very big fashion style. They're trying to be like expressive and like, be like, this is me and take up space in that way. Um, but they are both for as being fun and fabulous as they are. They both are actually very rigid and tough. and the difference is that I feel like Bronwyn has some self-awareness whereas Erica's like what is empathy? Erica's just starting to realize certain things I don't feel nothing for anybody but myself but then on the flip side Erica is realizing you know what I can just be a villain and I will be that and it's working out really well for her like she's way more entertaining as just this cold ice queen who's just trying to understand the concept of empathy.

37:16Whereas Bronwyn, as she says, she's trying to control the way people feel about her. And that's always going to be the recipe for her. They veer off. Like Bronwyn is like, I want everybody to love my husband. And Erika Jayne's like, oh yeah, my husband's a criminal. I'm dating somebody named Baghdad Bob. Fuck all y 'all. She doesn't give a fuck. But it did take her a while to embrace that side of herself. I'm so happy for all their dreams. now they agree to be friends and lisa's like yeah you know what i'm glad we could have this conversation and no voices were raised she goes yeah no voices were raised that might be more impressive for you than for me because you you raised your voices i'm more cutting and here you're more cutting the cheese so yeah pretty much yeah are we done here i hate your guts yeah i hate you too okay please leave okay have you been evicted yet okay see you soon Yep, just me being cutting.

38:12Just me being me, right? Okay, you can shout if you want to. I got some cuts in there. Say hug. It's a forever patch. Commercials. Here comes one right now.

38:27And now we go to Mary, and she's with her cousin, Big Joe, who I think we met a few seasons ago. And they go to her church. Her church is back. And she's taking a look. She's walking around. and she sees the portrait of her grandma with Jesus, which is a classic. This, I can't. Every time I see this portrait, I crack up. It's just her grandma sitting up there and Jesus is like, hello, welcome. Welcome to heaven. She's like, yes, thank you. Taking my rightful place at Jesus's table in heaven, baby. So Mary's like, wow. So they got all the chairs done. Okay, wait, what, what, what, what, what? Are all of the chairs done?

39:05Are all of the, did the benches all get done? because wait, wait, there's a nail. Wait, there's a nail sticking out of this, but that could, someone could bleed. Someone could bleed. He's like, oh, that'll stab someone. You really don't miss anything. She's like, yeah, and you miss everything. You have nails. Like, sir, Big Joe, you cannot just leave exposed nails in a pew, okay? That's not, that's some final destination shit. Mary's like, she's like, well, I'm excited to reopen my church, but like, why is your nail sticking out? Like, you did all this renovation and forgot that? he's like i thought we were going with the whole like you come to this church and suddenly you've got stigmata thing it's not on your back joe it's not on your back okay so he basically he's a general contractor and he spent a year doing the floors upstairs basically and she's like yeah he's family and he milks it for sure um and so they sit down uh in a non-exposed nail part of the pew and they're talking about the church to talk about robert first of all they're talking about how his first steps were actually up there on the altar and in front of the whole congregation and everyone cheered which is actually kind of very special and um they talk about him and she's saying that he's doing well but now that she's like a lot closer with him like she knows like she knows when he's like falling off the wagon and everything and big joe starts to actually to cheer up a bit because he feels bad for Robert and stuff like that.

40:32Yeah. So then they start talking about her mom because her mom died. I didn't know that her mom passed away. So they're talking about how, uh, just the way Mary tells these stories, she's like, yeah. And you know, for some reason, my mom thought she was supposed to take over this church when grandma died. He's like, yeah, I have no idea why she would think that. It's like, yeah, she thought so. But, um, You know, marrying the grand, that was odd to both of us. You know, like he wants to marry me. Like, I mean, he just obeyed what mama wanted. That's all he wanted. He wasn't trying to do anything extra.

41:08I mean, I just can't believe mom would get so upset that I married my grandma's husband. I just don't get it. I know. And then, I mean, it's pretty normal to me. This show is so fucking Looney Tunes. Just that it's, because I was sitting there and I watched a scene. And I was like, nice scene. Like it's just going normally. And then I was thinking about it later and I'm like, could you think about what was actually being said during that exact same thing? I was like sitting there like, Oh my God, her church is back. This is so lovely. Oh my God. Oh, like, I can't believe the mom would say that.

41:41And I was like, you know, it was like two years ago. We're like, what a fucked up. Like she married her grandfather and she runs a cult. And now we're like, look at her. She knows love is love.

41:53like god i love the new benches in mary's church no there's no more questions like what happened to that church and what did happen to all these people who claim that mary was you know impoverishing them and making them poor it's like a couple seasons passed by and everything just normalizes like oh my god i know i can't believe anybody got mad at you for marrying your grandfather and stealing this church good for you girl good for you a church that may or may not be our cult but we're like, you know what? I don't know. I think we just sort of got to a place where like, you know what? There's bigger fish to fry in our lives.

42:25Everybody needs somewhere to go after school. Am I right? Everyone, every pot has its lid. Okay. So she, she talks about, they both are talking about how her mom really wanted power. And I guess it sounded like there was some sort of confrontation that happened at the congregation. Oh, hell, this was good. Yes, the mom showed up to the church during church and was like, this is mine. And like tried to take over the church and then they called the police on her ass and had her arrested at the church. I mean, that's some crazy shit. And I love how they try to be like polite about it. They're like, well, yeah, it was crazy.

43:09I mean, she showed up and then she said what she said. and then the police were called and they said, who do you want out? And someone was escorted out. I was like, was it the organ player? Who is it? Come on, give me some hints. Who was it? Oh my God. It was the lady in the third row. Oh, I knew she was. Oh, the mom? What? I had no idea. So she is saying, you know, her mom, now it's full circle because she had her escorted out of the church and now she has been escorted off of the earth, you know? And she's like, yeah, it's full circle. And I don't know how I feel about it. it's like a roller coaster.

43:42You know, it hurts, but it's a closed chapter now. And I feel like it was a storm or a battle that I'd been in for all these years because she would put articles in the paper about me. She put lies out there about us. I mean, it was always something telling people that I married my grandfather. I mean, well, that was true, but still, I mean, just horrible. And so she's talking about how when her mom walked out of her life, she actually has to mourn it all over again because, you know, she was mourning her mom, but I guess there was always a chance that they could make up or something, but you know, now she's dead.

44:15And so she has to kind of remourn her. I have to say my heart really broke for Mary during this. Cause it just sort of, you know, we've had, she's talked about her mom here and there and every time it's very sad, but like, you know, she was treated so badly by her mom. It sounds like it's like when she told stories, the reunion about how they grew up with money, they weren't impoverished, but her mom just like wouldn't buy food for the kids they just had nothing in the refrigerator and i just i don't know i just think about like all the hurt that she must feel and like that's it's just brutal and like this like the whole situation is really just completely like it actually really breaks your heart and sad yeah it's because even if you know no matter what side you take on it because it is salacious like everything that's happened in this story line is completely salacious but even if you take the anti-Mary side of it all, the fact that a child was even in the position to marry their grandfather is fucking crazy.

45:15Like what kind of family was that that she grew up in? So, you know, whatever she may be now, you know, it comes from somewhere and it's - But you know what I love? I love that from what we can see that Mary really is just like so loving to her son because like that's a cycle that could have continued on and like that like it's just you know it's just it's sad that like that that mary just was not receiving love from her own mother like i cannot even imagine i come from like mother love privilege where i have like lots of love coming from me from my from my mom and like that like she actually had to go through her life and then now it's just it's always gonna like there never was a resolution not that there had to be But if she was on some level hoping for that, that's gone.

46:04And that is incredibly tough. But I'm so happy that she does not continue that forward and that she shows so much love to her son. Which is why it's actually also heartbreaking that her son is in such a tough place. And she just keeps on trying to pour love into him. And they have such an uphill battle to go. But anyway, I was very moved by this scene ultimately. Particularly the part about the nail in the pew. I was like, what? Yeah. All right. So let's go over to Angie at Lunatic Friends. Is it the one or the half? We don't know. Yeah, we don't know. Let's go from Mary pouring out her heart in the tragedies in her life and contemplating the sadness of certain parental relationships to Heather getting a perm, a test perm at a hair salon.

46:57Yeah. So Heather comes over and Angie's like, my cosmetology license lapsed a while ago. So I have to retake tests on mannequin heads. So what better mannequin head than Heather Gay? Sometimes I literally will knock her on the forehead to make sure she is a real person. You know what I love about Lunatic Fringe is that whenever they do a scene there, like lunatic fringe is like an actual sitcom set doesn't it look exactly like an nbc sitcom that would air on like saturdays between 227 and golden girls like a show about a hair salon and this is the set and you enter from the top but you can also enter from the sides just like like there is no fourth wall it's just that's it they should make it one i'm surprised it isn't a show yet they're trying to do everything in Salt Lake City right now.

47:51How is there not a lunatic fringe show? Let's write a multi-cam sitcom called Lunatic Fringe and it takes place in the salon. And like we can have Jack, we have to cast Jack K in it, by the way, speaking of 227. Like Jack K is like the older person who's been doing it forever. She comes in, she's like, I am great. Mary. Oh, Mary. Oh, Mary, I'm great. I've got some Spanish opener. I just, that was not a Jackie voice. That could be her tagline. Sous-vinky. That's her frame or entrance. Sous-vinky. Okay, that's the third time we brought up 227 this week. This isn't working on Huey Lewis the News.

48:41Oh, no, now it doesn't count because you said it. You said it. I'm sorry. Looney Tick Fringe is canceled. Just kidding. Back to the drawing board. Back to the drawing board. Back to our premier Vida tequila idea. Yeah. So Angie is like, she's saying, she's going to do this test perm. And she's like, oh, you will never believe what happened. I am sitting here with Sean the other day. And this really cute gal walks in. And I thought she had a hair appointment. And she said, hi, I'm Lisa's assistant. and I said, hello, do you have a hair appointment? And she said, no, here's what I want from you.

49:22I am here to get all the Fresh Wolf products today. And I was like, what? And I was like, is this a joke? And she said, no. So I had to go down to the storage room and find the product. It was dusty. I love that she's got all the product in the storage room, but she's yelling at Lisa that it's not sold. Well, maybe because it's sitting in the storage room for one thing. I can't believe no one bought that shitty product in the storage room. I can't believe no one said, hey, can I see what products you may have in your storage room? It's a shock. So she goes to get the product. It's been dusty. She packs it.

50:05And then the assistant says, Lisa Venmo'd you some money for product. I don't want her money. But apparently the Venmo already went through. So she gets a text from Lisa and it says,$600 Vedmo, son. I can send my cleaners to help you too. Sorry, your salon is so dusty. My salon is not dusty. Look around. Look at Jack Hay Station. It is clean as a whistle. No dust to be found. But she literally just said the product was all dusty. This is so funny. So she's like, so I just said, you should probably have sent the$600 to other people that are claiming that you owe them money. I didn't say you owed me any money and my salon is not dirty.

50:52Your products are though, because they've been sitting here for two years. So there's that. So then she throws her grenade back. Well, at least I don't have to borrow money to take vacations and pay it back after using a card I should never have used to begin with. What are you talking about? And aren't you the one being accused of using somebody's Amex card? So now they're going to start fighting over Amex cards that they don't. Everybody in Salt Lake City just has access to an Amex card that's not theirs. Also, you can't like diss someone for like, oh, you had to use someone else's money to go on vacation and then you paid them back.

51:29It's like, well, if the debt has been paid within the diss, it's not really a diss, is it? Yeah. Oh, wow. you're so poor you can't even afford your own vacation so you went on vacation on someone else's dime and then you paid them back it's very housewives it's like the vibe where people are like oh my god you have a mortgage oh yeah it was like on remember on southern hospitality when it was like did you know that Emmy went and bought us all uniforms and then she used her own money and then she reimbursed herself How could you do that? Well, she used store credits. Remember, like she got store credits for influencing or something.

52:16And they're like, she pocketed our money and used her free clothes to get our uniforms. It's like she still is like a reimbursement. So, yeah, so they are. So Lisa has now accused Angie of using someone else's credit card that she never should have used in the first place and then paid them back. But solely to go on vacation. So now we understand Jack Hayes' role in all of this, huh? Yeah. I have my own shekels. So at that point, I just stopped responding. I am not going to engage with her craziness. Are shekels Greek money? Just stop to ask. Shekels? I thought shekels were like, I thought that's like Yiddish.

52:56It's like, oh, do you have a shekel? I'll look it up. Shekel. Israeli. I think of like. New shekel. One Israeli new shekel equals 30 cents. Oh. Yes, it's a Mesopotamian coin.

53:12What is the currency in Greece? It's the euro. Never mind. What about the old Greek currency? Okay. The drachma. The drachma. The drachma. There you go. I knew it was something fun. What was the old, old one? Was it like Sesterity? Sesterity? I don't know. Look up old, old. I play a lot of like - Oh my God, how far can we go back? I have a lot of board games that take place in ancient Greece. and it's always like use one sacersti or whatever yeah I just see the drachma ancient Greek currency it was through the Hellenistic period up to the Roman period yeah the drachma isn't that what you said yes and the original thing said drachma was the currency from 1833 until like the euro came around but now it's saying also it was ancient Greek So, like, lots of drachma.

54:05Yeah. Well, now it is an American Express card from Greece with a Greek flag. Congratulations, you've reached the end of part one of a two-part recap. For part two, go look for the recap that says part two. See you over there, suckers. Watch what crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alison King. It's always a party on Alison Block. Our way is the Amber way. It's the Foster and the Furious. It's Amanda Foster. It's Always Automatic with Ashley Otto. Put your hands together for Carly Clapp. Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniela.

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