#3031 RHOM S7E19 Part 1: To All the Haitian Morticians I Loved Before

0:19Whtwtweeeaayoo Well, hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens. I'm Ronnie. That's Ben over there. Hello, Ben. Hi, Ronnie. How's it going? Good. Everybody, welcome to Real Housewives of Miami Reunion Part 2. Here we go. Very big day. If you want to watch us on video, you find Crappens On Demand at Patreon.com. It's also where you find our bonus episodes. This week we did some online shopping together. and also every other Monday we do crappy hour. On the Mondays, we're not doing that. We are doing Amazon Live. Crappy hour is at 5.30 Pacific time and Amazon Live is at 4 p.m. Pacific time. This coming Monday is when we'll be doing the Amazon Live.

1:03So if you want to watch a shop and see what we're buying, et cetera, that's where to do it. Find information in our link in bio on Instagram. And that's it. Are you ready for this completely bonkers day? I am absolutely ready for this Miami Oh no Oh what What is happening Oh it's a press conference Oh my god What could be happening in the world Wait it looks like It looks like Wendy Acefo Is coming to a podium to discuss something Dr. Wendy What happened What's the announcement here I have been Wong Flee O.S. did Seven counts of fraud 16 charges To something or other Something about Birkenberg Saying they were stolen They were stolen Okay They were stolen I don't know why They're coming after me

2:07Wendy and Happy Eddie Were arrested Arrested Arrested arrested yes this is shocking i woke up i woke up to this they were there's the first thing i wrote when i woke up i'm not even joking there was an email i looked at it i was like wendy and eddie arrested booked on criminal fraud charges uh apparently the long and the short of it is that last year they claimed they were robbed i don't remember if we discussed this on happy hour a crappy hour or not i think maybe we did was this minor headline that wendy and eddie were robbed of about$20 ,000 or$26 ,000 of like jewelry or whatever. And then they were arrested today because it turns out the jewelry was not stolen, but it was returned from where it was purchased.

2:56So now both of them have been arrested for insurance fraud and reporting a false, false burglary. Well, first the ring, she, she said some of her jewelry was, and by the way, this is all information we're getting from TMZ and stuff. So who knows? But so far what we know is, yeah, what you said, that they were robbed. They said all this stuff was stolen. It was a lot of Birkin bags and jewelry. There was a picture of her wearing the ring that she said was stolen in a post after, which is not very smart, Wendy. It also reminds me of Kyle Richards when Kyle Richards was like, oh, I got all this jewelry stolen.

3:35And people were like, you're still wearing that jewelry. And she's like, I had it remade. And then she thought she saw her mom's ring on a boardwalk of a psychic, like a psychic on a boardwalk. She saw the ring and then was accusing the psychic of stealing the ring. I mean, something crazy. But anyway, that was then. This is now. So apparently she was wearing this ring that she said was stolen in a post and that a bunch of Birkin bags and stuff that she claimed were stolen. She had returned to the stores and gotten receipts for these purchases. It's pretty crazy. The amount is like$450 ,000. They claimed like$450 ,000 in stolen stuff.

4:16So that's pretty big. Yikes. I had read another number. I know this is crazy. I read another number that said$20 ,000, but maybe that was a different thing. But that was from a different article. It doesn't matter. The point is, this is wild. I am actually genuinely shocked because I just, I did not see this happening with these two. Call me naive. I always felt like they talked up, she always talked up a big game. Like I never believed that Happy Eddie was like as successful as she always claimed it was. And like, really, it was just like three or four or five days ago that she's on the premiere saying like, Happy Eddie is doing so well that like they're going to be, you know, looking to do, you know, they're going to expand in other states and wow, they have money.

5:01And so to see that these two who are like, I don't know, I just, it seemed like these two actually, despite the fact that like Wendy would like often embellish things, it seemed like these two really had their head on their shoulders. And I wasn't just did not see crime as part of their timeline. I didn't either. Did you see this? I was, no, I was completely shocked. And listen, I think everybody should get arrested. I'm never shocked when a housewife gets arrested. I'm surprised how many haven't been arrested. Like, how are Dorit and PK still walking around? I don't believe Kyle Richards either and all of her burglaries and teddies and all of that.

5:40There's, like, so many weird burglaries that I just, I've never really completely bought that I'm surprised that most of them aren't in jail. But this one, I was actually very surprised. I didn't believe it. I saw it. It was the first thing I saw in the morning, like you, because we're housewives people. So, of course, our texts are inundated. you know there's the tags were inundated with this news and i clicked on it and of course the first place i went was reddit because you know that's my bible and so i went on there and i saw and i did not believe it the pictures look fake i mean the pictures yeah wendy is they both look high as fuck first of all they look like someone came to pick them up in the middle of the night they were watching you know the ed gain show and laughing their asses off you know monster or whatever just laughing their asses off high on their own supply they look crazy wendy's smiling like the joker yeah batman she's take some lessons from countess luann though like like countess luann is like still the high watermark for like mug shots not just for bravo but like maybe for society like that countess when mug shot was continues to be perfection wendy is more like there's it feels like like the movie poster for smile i'm like uh-oh is something gonna attack me now yes yes i love like people are actually making movie posters of smile with wendy on the cover which is really fun are they a lot of me yes a lot of memes going oh wow that's so funny i didn't even see that yeah it's it's just uh it's a lot it's a lot i didn't believe it and eddie just looks stoned as fuck.

7:14I mean, he really looks crazy. So this was, I will say it does look good for their weed because, you know, one of the side effects for weed can be paranoia. I mean, I don't even smoke weed anymore. I'll take a gummy occasionally or whatever, but I used to be a huge pothead. I mean, every day, multiple times a day for years and decades. And I kind of slowed down on that. And then when I went back to it, I got the paranoia back again, so strong. And I don't think that they have that in the happy yeti strain because these two look high as fuck and they are enjoying the hell out of this they look like this is the funniest night of their life so i'm hoping that there's been some kind of mistake obviously um because wendy can be an obnoxious asshole sometimes but i think ultimately she's funny and she's earned her place on this show and i really like having someone have the high ground on a housewife show and i feel like she's got the high she's had the high ground for a long time where she can she's on high ground right now

8:18but i've enjoyed her judgy moral high ground so i hate to see her lose it but i actually hate this for them um i had a few like immediate thoughts first of all um i mean where this is bravos we have to comment on this wendy yes her smile looks a little crazy She looks like she's 24. Like, who knew that a mugshot lighting was really like her best friend? I mean, she looks so young. Second of all, I felt - It's honestly so natural. Like, really - She looks great. We all know she's had a million surgeries because she did it on the show. You know, she came back with a million surgeries. But, I mean, they've really settled.

8:58I mean, she looks great. In fact, she looks so young that when I saw these pictures, I thought, oh, is this like an archival arrest that they just dug up? That's how old, that's how young I thought she looked. I did think about, I felt like actually genuinely, like I felt really bad gutted for those kids. Like I felt like, I mean, really just, that my heart broke for them because this is not easy for the, you know, for kids. And then I thought of Wendy's mom and I was like, oh man. First I thought, her Susan's her name, right? She was, I was like, oh, she's going to destroy Wendy. And then I thought, what if Wendy's mom is actually the one behind this?

9:33It's like, what if Wendy's mom is the one who like returned the stuff and they're taking the fall for Wendy's mom? Because I'm not going to rule that one out either. I feel like Wendy's mom would be like, I'm the mother. You go to jail for your mother after everything I did for you. She has all the purses. She's like sitting on the couches made out of Birkin bags. Yeah, I don't know. I'll bet the mom blames Eddie's mom though. Oh, 100%. I have a question. Were you arrested because you stole wicks? are you a wick stealer candle stealer hello this is Karen Hugo I'm here to make my first post jail appearance here at this press conference and I just would like to say that to Wendy jail it's not for the small wick if you've got three wicks you're never gonna survive you're gonna need five wicks to get through the pen to get through the hen house to get through sing sing so good luck to you because it's not gonna be easy Wendy oh man crazy Well, I guess we'll see what happens.

10:34I'm assuming all the camera people in Potomac are scrambling this morning, getting over to Wendy's house. Oh, my God. Seriously. They really they really have their hands full over there in that county. I'm not going to lie. So so the headline that the email that I saw this morning, someone has sent us an email that forwarded an article. And so the headline, the article said Real Housewives star husband charged in Maryland with fraudulently reporting burglary theft. I'm not gonna lie my first thought was well Juan Dixon I was like this has got to be Juan Dixon you know he's like I was like down on his luck you know I think he's does he is he coaching or whatever so in my mind I was like it's probably someone who's like not on the show anymore they're scrambling so I thought Juan Dixon I don't know if there was anyone else that I like maybe I didn't I didn't feel like it would be Chris Samuels I feel like Chris Samuels has a lot of money so my mind I was like oh yeah this is gonna be a Juan Dixon story.

11:28And then to see that it was Wendy and Eddie, I was shock-a-cocked. Shock-a-cocked. Well, the whole situation is shock-a-cocked. So I guess, you know what? We're just gonna have to wait and see what happens. Maybe it's been a big misunderstanding. Who knows? I can't wait to see this play out on Potomac. It's gonna be great. And you know what's gonna be great about it? Karen is like, mm-hmm, I'm off the hook. So next season of Potomac, oh it's gonna be a doozy i'm already excited yeah so wow well okay well here we go that's not the only thing happening in the world real house was miami part two had one of the best reunions um ever ever all time probably right i watched no it was a hundred percent i like i was i i don't think i've ever laughed as much through a reunion episode as as i did last night i was like this is one of the classics.

12:28This is one of the funniest ones. This is, it's like, there's no use proselytizing while we're doing the Miami recap because most people who don't watch Miami, I'm assuming are not listening to our Miami recap. But if for some chance you just are listening and you don't watch Miami, like you, like the way that you were missing out is, is so deep and so hard because this reunion episode, like we don't even deserve this reunion episode. It was, it was just that funny it was that amazing really really solid solid work all around and i just like that there are so many things that would traumatize other housewives and make it like they could be such victims about it i mean adriana basically just got outed first of all like you can't like we're in 2025 you're not supposed to be outing people you know like stuff like that there's like a lot that people could be victims over and they're not they're just like you know what no fuck you okay you fucked with a Haitian mortician and had to buy him a coffee maker

13:31like there were just so many moments like did you have sex no I don't have a dick the way also that they would cut to various women on the sofas laughing like Alexia would laugh or Stephanie was like losing dying with laughter. It was like an old-fashioned sitcom with like a laugh track, you know? Like the reason why you have a laugh track there is like when you're watching, it's like, oh, that was funny. It's like, oh yeah, other people found that funny too. And now it's even funnier to me. And like, that's kind of how this episode was. Like every time I saw them laughing, I would just start to laugh too.

14:07Cause it was like contagious for me. No one can keep a straight face and you've got both sides of the couch, right? You've got each side of the couches on one side, right? There's like team Adriana on one side and then you've got team Gertie on the other. I mean, not Team Gertie. It's more like Team Julia and Team Anti-Julia. Yeah, you've got Team Julia on the other side. And the teams are trying to fight for their team, right? So whenever something would happen, you know, where Julia was accused of something, they'd be, no, no, no, no, like, that's not true, like, but what about you, like? And then same for Adriana.

14:40Her people would come find it. But the things that were coming out of both Julia and Adriana's mouths were so crazy that even their teams had to be like, wait. what like they had to keep stopping in the middle of their defense because it's too crazy like how am i standing up for this person right now it was it was so remarkably funny like it was like these are these moments where i get like on my soapbox about like these shows are brilliant these shows are so deeply hilarious and you know like they deserve more respect by wider pop culture. They do. We don't need... They do. We're at the Nobel Peace Prize for these ladies.

15:22Yes. People are fighting over the Nobel Peace Prize over there. It's like, give it to them. And I have to say, I have to really applaud Andy's growth as a reunion moderator over the past 15 years because what's so funny is that someone will make a claim. I'm just like, I don't have a specific example here, but I'm going to try to make one up. And Andy has now become someone who's so good at a deadpan question where like if Adriana is like, she had to give him a coffee maker and he'll be like, wait, wait, wait. The coffee maker, what type of coffee maker was it? Like some bullshit question with a straight face that is like a troll question.

15:58He does it so often and like he's just become so good at that. I know there's so many questions he could ask and he's like, wow, coffee, huh? Like what kind of coffee maker? All right, well, let's get into it because there's a lot. There's a lot to unpack here, as Andy would say. So we pick up where we left off, which is where Julie is like, Andy, I know something that you don't know, but Adriana knows. I would like to bring clarity. In the Hamptons, Adriana and I slept together. Everyone's like, what? And Adriana just starts laughing her ass off. And then after she said, wait a minute, you're married.

16:45You're married. Lisa Hochstein. How could you? Lady.

16:52I already knew that this, what Julia was saying was true by Adriana's strange laugh. Because Adriana is a queen of like, I didn't do that. I didn't say that. Like, that's 100 % what she does. So the fact that like she had no response for this. So she had to do like a casual laugh. Like, oh, this is ridiculous. I was like, okay, Adriana's busted. this 100 % happened. In fact, we know what happened. I was just saying, we know what happened. It's not really denied. Yeah, no, no. Well, I mean, it's, you know, it's the Bill Clinton thing. Like, what is sex? Yeah. You know, what is it? What is it really?

17:25Depends on what the definition of is, is. Yeah, what's the definition of is. So, Gertie's like, wait, does she mean like sleeping? Like, sleep, sleep? Or does she mean like, like, what kind of sleeping? This could be like, I need clarity. I need clarity. You mean like sex? Like sex or like sleeping in a bed? Like sex-like? Yes, Andy. Yes, Andy. But what if someone's not a basketball player, is it considered sex-like?

17:53But was it just like with feet-like? Because that doesn't count-like. Like, I feel like feet doesn't count-like. Although you can count on your feet-like. I do that on my videos-like. Andy's like, Andy's like, So you two slept together during the cast trip to the Hamptons. Four years ago. So we see a flashback to 2021 and the scene where Adriana got naked and the bathtub and everything. And they were all over each other that whole trip and feeding each other and getting each other up against walls and kissing each other. And yeah, so we see all that. And Kiki's like, wait, was it after the engagement?

18:34No, it was before our friend engagement. It was before. So now we see the flashback of the friend engagement of her being like, Adriana DeMora, promise me you will be my best friend forever. And everybody clapping. And so it was before the friend engagement. And Lisa's like, make it make sense. I was ashamed. I was embarrassed. I still am. Oh, please. You're so embarrassed that you just adopted two little boys and have your wife over there taking care of them. and then come on national TV and talk about how you've been fucking around. Are you nuts? Aren't you crazy? What is wrong with you? Well, I actually, it's funny because I believe this.

19:19I kind of believe both of them, honestly. I think they both are telling the parts of the story that best serve them. I do believe they hooked up. I do believe it made things weird. I do believe Adriana became, I do 100 % believe Adriana is the type that would say, you know if you be friends be friends with Alexia I'm gonna tell everyone that this happened like I 100 % believe that but um uh I and so I I I can imagine that that that is something but I I also believe Adriana that Julia probably did have some other affairs going on I mean no what no one brought up which I was shocked about was that it was like two seasons ago when Lars is like my friend like Julia saw you like kissing a man like in hotel like I was like we've already had the storyline in fact so i was surprised they didn't circle back to that i was too actually because yeah that makes that seem a lot more true these days um so julia's like by the way martina knows well why are you bringing it up then why are you bringing it up no one has to even know that what are you doing like what are you gonna do like hire her a vocal coach and try to make her an american idol star now lady because that's what lends up to with his newest russian that he's procured for himself.

20:33He's got her vocal lessons and posting on Instagram videos of her. She's just like, oh my god. A song say love. It is a river. It's my song. Singing the rose. We'll just have everyone sing the rose this year. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappin's commercial.

21:02So Julia's like, for one reason, I was living in mental, psychological abuse by Adriana for two years. And Gertie's like, oh, wow. And everyone's like, oh. You guys are like being very insensitive. Because Gertie, Lisa, and Adriana just like laugh at like, oh, this is ridiculous. They're like, oh, please. Oh, please, Julia. Walking around, sticking your tongue down everybody's throat all the time, doing this stuff on camera all the time. I'm so sure you were mentally and psychologically abused. Give me a fucking break. Well, this is where Julia loses it because I think for sure Adriana made her life hell about it.

21:37I don't doubt that at all. But like where Julia should, Julia should have told the story and said, I'm bringing this up because this was a mistake on my part to go down this path with Adriana and it made our friendship forever weird and we tried to act like it was fine, but it wasn't. And it introduced an element of intimacy that got in the way of the friendship and it snowballed and now this is where we are now. Like, that's what she should have said. But instead she's like, we made out and now I'm abused. It's like, oh no, like for sure say that Adriana held it over your head. But like, it's like, you can't really take anyone's side, I feel like, because you see them say one thing that feels like the truth and then they say bullshit at the same time.

22:22I take sides. I take Adriana's side for sure on this. I don't believe Julia for two seconds. we've seen Julia come on to every single person on this show try to make out try to make it that she's like having sex with multiple people all the time that's like her vibe on the show and that doesn't mean that those kind of people I'm not I guess that can sound problematic it's not that nothing could happen to her but we've seen like the clip we just saw of her and Adriana in the Hamptons it does not look like she's trying to make it sound like she was in a bad place with Martina and Adriana took advantage of her is what she's yeah see that i don't like and i didn't like that at all where it's going off the rails for me she's like trying to make herself like this super victim of this super predator adriana which if we've seen anybody with predator vibes it's julia on this show well i don't i don't know necessarily about predator vibes but what i do think though is that julia is sort of like leaning into like i was you know manipulated or that she's like a victim in this situation i don't think either of them are really a victim i think they're just both consensual predators a strong word i guess i'm saying it in alien in comparison you know what i mean she's trying to make adriana sound like a predator and i'm i'm just saying like if anyone's been aggressive sexually on this show with people who aren't into them it's you well i think that um yeah no i think that basically adriana at least hires her people from france for a few weeks i know for a day player for one episode um no i'm trying to help them get their after cards okay i i agree i think that like i believe julia that it happened um i don't think she's coming on tv and opening this can of worms um knowing how it could actually really massively impact her relationship with martina also which is martina is not only the relationship with martina is not only a relationship but it's also a lifestyle let's not forget that and uh i don't think she's imperiling that unless like like this really happened personally unless she's really unless she's really out there unless she's really gone girling this but i i think that i think that should that part is true but i agree i think that like there's not there is a lot of talk from her about like i she was taking advantage of me i mean you were taking advantage of adriana too like you guys were both probably in a rough place in your life.

24:43I mean, I don't know. This is where Julia loses because she doesn't really wholeheartedly stand in this admission. She announces this admission but then tries to make herself seem like she was, I don't know. It's not just we slept together and you held it over me. Right. It's not we just slept together and you used it against me. It's, you know, you knew how vulnerable I was. I was grieving the departure of my daughters. You knew my marriage trouble big trouble and you did this to me and she's like oh yeah i did it to you right right but i trusted you and i felt like i was muscled by adriana i was ashamed of myself i was scared she controlled my life she controlled my friendships with the women in the group and i like that adriana's defense is like because you were supposed to be on my side like yeah like she's her her view is of course i was trying to get you to stay on my side you You're supposed to be on my side.

25:41I didn't have to blackmail you. I was literally telling you you're supposed to be my friend. Yeah, and then Andy's like, so you were worried she was going to tell Martina or the woman? Yes, because she was blackmailing me with this. She kept telling me, you're here because of me. You owe your paycheck to me. She was going to tell goats. I was so scared. Yeah, but you are here because of her, and you do owe your paycheck to her. She got you on the show, and last week when she was saying no one would have ever fined you in that shitty place you lived, Wasn't she referring to the farm where she found her?

26:12I mean, you were in the middle of nowhere. She brought you onto this. She brought you onto this TV show to give you something to do. I think that she can say that stuff without blackmailing you over sexual stuff. In other words. What I love is that Adriana then is like, I gave you the opera idea. Everything, everything. As if the opera thing is somehow like a benchmark of Julia's success. Like, Adrian, I don't know if I would brag about that on the reunion that you gave Julia the idea to follow opera. It has not really been a true success on anyone's ears or in anyone's hearts. Yeah. Yeah. Don't brag about the brain damage you're doing to the rest of us by inflicting that vocal performance on us.

26:54Please. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Both versions of my brain are saying, hold on. you slept with Julia at the Hamptons? Andy. Andy's like suddenly just processed what's happening. So Adrienne's like many times. So, oh, well, you say many times? Well, I mean many times because we're in the same bed. It was sleeping in the same bed. What does this mean? What does it mean? Wait, did you have sex with her in the Hamptons? And she goes, no, I don't have a dick. I can't have sex. Which everybody, Andy literally facepalms. like lesbians can have sex people women have sex with each other he goes you could have sex without a dick and she goes not really not okay okay so obviously it's true right so then stephanie's like it's called scissoring oh i know i mean god and he's like okay you did not sleep with her in the hamptons no we slept we kissed but that was about it it's like okay so you kissed yeah no but i never scissored anybody he's like i never scissored anybody love that i never scissored i don't like pussy and i'm not your girl okay atriana you never blackmail me you never blackmail me you never forgave me and she's like never blackmail you i'm very blunt you know what and you never said i'm going to say oh you know what it is do you know why you feel this little because you're an imposter you're a fraud and you have imposter syndrome so you're trying to pretend something that you're not okay Adriana you just wanted to invite me to what's your real name what's your real name ask her her real name because I don't change my name I don't change my name your real name is Yulia There, there.

28:47Her name is Yulia. She has changed the pronunciation of her name in America. Imposter. Andy, can I take this lavalier microphone off of my dress and drop it on the ground? Because that's what that was. Mic drop. Yulia, Yulia. He's like, what is your point? My point is that everybody changes their name. My point is we have a spy in this room. We have a spy and her name is Yulia. And he's like, well, excuse me, changing your name from Yulia to Julia. She's like, but my point is I could say my name is Adrienne. I could be an Adrienne. Yeah, but it's not like she changed her name from like Sally. You know, that would have been dramatic.

29:35Are those still people named Sally? Hey, why do you change her name then, Yulia? Why do you change it? He's like, I would like to know, Marisol, what's your reaction? I love that he doesn't even care. He's just like, Marisol, what's your... Because he doesn't know what to do. And there's kind of silence. So he goes, so... Marisol, what's your opinion? She's like, I have to answer this. Listen, I believe a lot of things, okay? One night, everyone happens. It could happen. I've tried it so many times with Dick. Didn't really happen there. But with other people, sure it could. All right, well, do you believe Adriana, who you've known longer than most people in this room, who would hold that over her in some way?

30:17And she's like, probably. All right. Well, who here believes that Adriana and Julia had an affair? So everyone on Julia's side raises their hands, but everyone on Adriana's side keeps their hands down. Stephanie puts her hand up. Stephanie's also doubled over, tears coming out of her eyes laughing. I mean, she is.

30:41I was watching this with Dom, And Dom at one point turned and goes, every time that lady in green starts to laugh, I lose it. I was like, yep. But wait, wait. An affair is a long time. So was it sex or was it an affair? Okay, not affair. Or do you believe they had sex? So they all believe it, basically. So then Lars is like, I mean, Lisa, come on, Lisa. Why aren't you raising your hand like Lisa? Like, come on, Lisa. She's like, no, no, no. This is what I think. You're the married one and she's not. So come on. And I agree, Julia. You're trying to like point the finger at her. You're the married one.

31:17She didn't cheat on anybody. But Alexia's like, no, no, no. Because she had an affair with the married woman. So she's just as bad. She's just as bad. Alexia does a lot of the nose up in the air work in this reunion. The nodding with her head up in the air. Yeah. So then Kiki is like, okay, I have to say something. A lot of people I'm hearing say, but you're married. But listen, guys, some people, they marry her and they have open relationship. Their spouses know they sleep or they cheat and they tell their spouses what they did. Okay, then does she know? Does she know? Does Martina know? Or is she going to be surprised that she's got some Russian singing, you know, Whitney Houston songs on Instagram suddenly?

31:59That's how she finds out. I don't know who this Whitney Houston is, but I told Martina six months ago. Maybe it was eight months ago, but like not when it happened. Wait, hold on. does martina know that you were gonna say this tonight is she mad do we want to get her on face yes she does know of course it was all planned yes well she cried she cried very hard well and when she cried it's really more like she took tennis ball at wall and then went out for many hours and came back with a smile on her face and said that she had tracked down chris everett and Do a racket at her head and it made her feel all better.

32:38Yeah, this whole Julia trying to, speaking moral high ground, trying to have the moral, like, yes, of course I've talked to Martina about it. You just talked to her six months ago about something that happened four years ago. Stop acting so high and mighty. So she's like, yeah, she cried. And why did she say it tonight? And she's like, because there's just so many misconceptions. I cannot speak my truth. This changes nothing. you were close with her way after that thing in the hamptons happened you turned on her this year when you became close with the other ladies it doesn't change any of that it doesn't matter your who has your who has twiddled i think it does actually i think but she's just losing her case because she's not presenting it properly i think it changes because it's like we all know we know like when friends have sex like it's this is the basis of so many like rom-coms and stories whatever like things get weird afterwards not always sometimes it's fine but like it is something that happens and like clearly things got weird and they were they were close afterwards but like you know something was there that was not addressed and it was a lie that julia had that she had not told martina like this is good it's going to eat away and there's going to be problems and eventually julia's probably not going to want to have to face her guilt about what she did so she's going to want to move away from adriana and move towards the other women like it actually to me does shed some light on how it happened.

34:02The problem is that Julia is not really accepting her role in that. She's not really saying, she's not being accountable for like, every time I saw Adriana, it reminded me of how I betrayed Martina and it was hard for me. And so I I sort of drifted away from her. And on top of that, she was also being really possessive of me, which was also unpleasant. Like that's all she really had to say. And I think so many people would have gotten it. Well, I don't buy any of that, though. Like you said, she's doing it all, I think she's doing it all sanctimoniously here, and it's not right. I don't buy anything.

34:32Like, the way that you're saying it, I think, makes a lot of sense, but I just don't believe it, because it's Julia, and we see how Julia acts with everybody, how she's flirty, how she's constantly making... I think Adriana was doing this stuff on camera. She was basically fucking her up against the wall on camera. We just saw it in the clips. They were, like, kissing. They were doing this friend engagement. They were doing, like, you showed me what love is, that whole speech. They were doing this whole thing on camera. So I don't think that Adriana would have taken that as like an affair. I think she would have taken it as like this chick is like always she's very sexual.

35:08She's very sexual with all of her friends and other people, because obviously we find out later that Adriana knows a lot of other people that Julia has had sex with. So I think Adriana probably looked at it as like this is somebody who's in kind of an open or a loose relationship. And I don't really think it's that big of a deal. I think if Adriana really thought, oh, I'm fucking over Martina Navratilova right now, she would have been a little more subtle about it and not just so out about it. So I think Julia probably fucked around with Adriana so she could hold it over Adriana's head and say shit like this.

35:43Like, oh, Adriana is just crazy. She's so in love with me. You know, we, you know, blah, blah, blah. Julia is the one entrapping everybody into these weird situations. And then now she's going to come back and make it like, oh, I'm the victim here. And I was entrapped into this situation. No, you were the one like forwarding all of these situations. And I think that she's probably using something like that to look like a victim now. That's how I actually, I don't, I don't trust that as far as I can throw her. Well, that's, that's a whole separate issue. I, which I agree with. I, uh, I don't think either of them entrapped each other.

36:15And I, I agree. I think that Adriana probably thought that this was like sort of an open thing or whatever. it's like oh whatever commercials here comes one right now

36:31my issue was not about whether or not they were having an affair or like whether or not like adrian is at fault because they like slept together i don't think it's i think they were consenting adults and i and i think the worst the the i think julia as someone being in a relationship where it was not open like that, like she is the one who, who, who had the infraction, but I'm just saying like, regardless of whatever the context was, like, it's going to just make their relationship weird. And it's going to like give insight. The reason why it changes things for me is it just, it just gives me more insight as to why the two of them fell apart, you know?

37:07And so I guess I would argue that I don't think it made things weird because I think that it was just like normal for being friends with julia i think it was normal in that friendship for them to be very sexual with each other i don't see like how them kissing and doing all the stuff that they were doing on camera how patting someone's puss is really that much different i mean unless she's saying they were having like a full-on affair or something behind martina's back which isn't what she's saying she's saying they were like lightly fooled around one night because even julia can't answer the questions later i mean it sounds like they just basically had a light fooling around night wasted that we saw even on camera we saw them waking up even if it's just that though even if it's just that if it's something that she didn't feel comfortable telling martina for two years that's gonna in my mind that's gonna cause some shit like that's gonna that's right except that it was all on camera most of most of this stuff was on camera like martina would have been so completely uncomfortable just seeing the way they were kissing and doing all that stuff on on tv on national but you know what though i i don't think it's like a huge step that they like actually I don't think this was tv moment I don't know if this was honestly okay I'll say this my takeaway from all the back and forth and sort of the the dodges and whatever I kind of got the impression that they ate each other out like that's what I that's that's sort of what I or at least one of them did like I kind of got that that impression so it was like to me a little bit more than just like the on tv like flirtations or whatever I sort of got the impression that it was like maybe it wasn't sex like adriana said but like i was like i feel like it was something actually it might not even be eating out but there could be like some fingering or whatever but i got the sense that there was something a bit more than just like what we saw on tv i guess i don't know point is the way that julia and adriana have been acting on camera for four years now is like girlfriends they have been act they've been acting in a way that if i was with julia and i was worried about that i would be very hurt already okay i would be like why are you acting like this with another woman on tv it's fucking gross and it's disrespectful and it's rude so whatever they've been doing on camera whether it's sex whatever whatever happened the way they've been acting so far has been totally out of bounds if i was in a relationship with that person i would be like what the fuck is going on so i think my only point is i don't think it's a big deal because one little step further isn't much more disrespectful than they've already been acting they've already been acting so so completely disrespectfully that i don't think it would be that big of a deal if they like like hooked up drunkenly one night lightly you know what i mean it might not be a big deal that's me but i think if you're maybe it's coming from like a gay man who sees like kind of open-ish relationships constantly where there are certain rules in the relationship where you know if you do this you're going too far and i can see that maybe she took it like a step further than she was supposed to but i just don't i just don't see it i think it's the lie julia would have hooked up with adriana to anybody but i think it's the lie i think it's that julia like kept it inside for those like so matter even if all they did was just like spoon if julia felt like she couldn't tell martina for two years because she felt like she had done something wrong, whether or not it was liked or like inconsistent with what we see on TV.

40:33I feel like the fact that she was holding on to something on the inside to me gives insight why she started to move away. And I think that she also like Adriana, like it would also like not surprise me if Adriana was like, you know, I'm going to tell like that's totally like Adriana. I can understand. And I'm not, and this is not, yeah, I believe that. Yeah. And this is not me being like oh my god team julia i'm just saying like for me like this does give me more insight about things and i think that like i also can see julia like adriana doing that and it's like rubbing julia the wrong way and i also see julia as someone who does not fight her own battles and so she gravitates towards alexia marisol because she knows that they're gonna like basically say the things for julia that she's not gonna say herself so like i sort of see it as like a tangled web um but i don't know ultimately i can't buy it with julia because julia's cheated multiple times and listen to when she talks about it today when when later which we'll get to this is going to be a 10-hour recap but later when we get to it and she's had multiple affairs and listen to what she says when she when she admits it she's like but we were in a bad place i was very hurt and so i don't think it's a big deal at all that julie had an affair and i don't think that she would have been worried this worried about it because she's done it a million times i don't think i don't think that this one would be like oh my god she was black mailing me i mean personally but i think we'll just have to agree to disagree because i just think that like if you're with julia you know she's going to be fucking 20 other people and if you've forgiven it three times you're going to forgive it a fourth so that's an interesting point so you're basically saying like you don't think like julia this is sort of like it's almost like a jacks taylor kind of thing where like jacks doesn't really harbor any guilt like this is just who he is and i'm not saying that she is jacks but like she doesn't harbor any guilt so it's not going to eat away at her because she's not burdened by oh that's just cheating all the time i mean even when andy later is saying okay so what she's following him trying to be like andy andy you know the this i was so hurt and this and that and he's like so did you sleep with the haitian and she's like tbd like she does she has no guilt Like she's on TV completely humiliating her wife.

42:44She doesn't give a fuck. She's trying to get points over someone she's having fights with and trying to make them look like some abusive stalker when Julia is cheating all the time and obviously has no guilt about it. So I just don't believe that she's sitting at home like, oh, my God, what's Martina going to think about this? I just also, LOL, Martina crying at home. Let Julia's coming, like coming onto a platform and saying crazy things when Martina is the one who like has said so many inappropriate stuff on Twitter. So by the way, Martina, what goes around comes around. Yeah. Oh my gosh. That's a whole other can of worms to go after Martina stupidity.

43:20Jesus Christ. Yeah. So I'm not really crying for Martina either way, but I do think it's like pretty crazy that she just forced Martina into this adoption situation with these kids and now martina is stuck at home taking care of these kids while julia is out like talking about how she's fucked half the half the city like oh my god lord so anyway julia is like well i need you to know that i did not teach my best friend for any of my new friends i wanted all of us to be together despite the horrible secrets that they had the disgusting hideous secret that I made up with Swab Monster, who happens to be very old, Adriana.

44:02And Adriana's like, okay, horrible secret. So many secrets. Despite being repressed by Adriana and feeling guilty, I feel guilt. And that is why I could not have you as godmother, because I felt ashamed. Oh, bullshit. Bullshit, Yulia. Bullshit, spy, you Leah spy. Do you remember how Adriana pointed her finger at me and she said, I'm gonna say it. You're not gonna like it. And then we see unseen footage from their fight at Stephanie's showjaw Christmas party where Adriana is saying, don't make me go there because I will break the fourth wall and it is not gonna be pretty. It's gonna be bad for you, so don't go there.

44:42And she's like, I'm not scared. She goes, okay, but I'm not scaring you. I'll tell the truth. You know what the truth is and I don't want to throw you under the bus like this, but if you keep pushing me, I will. So we see that Adriana was threatening to release some information. So what? Yeah. And by the way, even if it's not about this hookup, we see that Adriana is definitely that person who does that. Like she's definitely that person says, be careful. Otherwise I'm going to like, I'm like, stay in line. Otherwise I'm going to reveal the truth about something about you. You know? Well, I've got a lot in my vault.

45:16I've got a lot in the vault. Okay, well, is that what you're referring to? Well, I was thinking one of the many times I was thinking she was going to say something. Marissa was like, honestly, you felt that you had to say it first, get ahead of the story. I worked in PR. I got it. She's like, no, I'm going to treat you the way you treat me, okay? So basically, Julia's saying, she's saying this tonight because she thought, I think she got spooked by that comment that Adriana was going to announce this on stage. So she's like, I'm going to beat Adriana to the punch and I will say it first. But I do like this because Adriana is like, no, no, I would never say that because I'm not that person because I would not destroy your marriage.

45:58OK, I love Martina. I respect Martina. She's my only artist in my gallery. OK, and those boys, I wasn't going to destroy your household. And Gertie's like, yeah, she didn't. She didn't do it. She didn't. Which, by the way, that's an admission on Adriana's part, right? Like her saying, I was never going to say anything about it because I love Martina. So it's like, so it did happen. I don't think there's any doubt that they did it, right? I mean, do you have any doubt? I have zero doubt. I have no doubt that Adriana was acting coy like they did nothing. And like, obviously they did enough of something that Adriana is saying that she would never want to hurt Martina with it.

46:32Yeah. So Adriana is like, well, I'm not that person. But since you brought it up, now it's on the table. And she was in the bad place. She was in the bad place. So bad place. Yeah, she was cheating on Martina with a Haitian mortician. That's right. That's right. And that's when you told me everything. You were with a Haitian mortician, and you used to take him to a motel, and you would pay for the motel, and you would bring champagne, and you had to give him a coffee machine as a gift. You forgot about that little bit? So I think this is what she could have been blackmailing her with. She could have been like, listen, I know all the people that you fucked.

47:10So you want me to bring them up on TV? It could have been that. It could have been that. That's true. So everyone's laughing by that very specific detail about the coffee maker. And Andrew goes, bitch. She goes, wow. He's going to keep your cool. Oh, and then there's more. Then she also had another lover, a cop. A cop who she had to bring a waffle iron to.

47:34She gave a lemon zester to an off-duty nurse. Did you know that she had to bring a mini food processor, a little one for nuts, to someone who worked at the toll booth? She bought an egg cracker for a garbage man. Basically, Julia's like a Cuisinart ambassador, but also like a wildly sexual being.

48:05she's a lady who likes sex with people and gives them household appliances in return is it an affair if she also enriches your kitchen so they're all like cracking up like because this is honestly like i mean we're still recovering from the revelation that julia's name used to be julia and it's like and now we have the bombshell that there's a haitian mortician who benefited by getting a coffee maker of some sort. Mr. Coffee, truly. And a cop who apparently got nothing, which is too bad. I like the outro and it just goes, bitch. I told you, bitch. I let the coffee machine out of the bag. The coffee machine is out of the bag, bitch.

48:44Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. Okay, here comes an Andy Cohen deadpan question. Hold on, okay, hold on. I want to know one thing. Why did you have to buy the Haitian mortician a coffee maker? I don't know what she's talking about. Oh, you know what she's talking about. Drip, drip, bitch. So did you have these affairs also, Julia? Well, I shared with Adriana in confidence. So yes, you did. In certain situations I had, yes, and Martina knows. But I said it to her. And that's, oh, okay, so it's okay. So you have a pattern. So it's all okay. Lady. So you have a pattern of cheating. You're a liar and you're a cheater.

49:27So she goes, well, whatever I am, and you're not right now, you're malicious. No, you have zero leg to stand on, ma 'am, when you just brought this up to be malicious to her. Sorry. So Andy's like, are you in an open relationship? No, I'm not in open relationship whatsoever, but I am in open relationship in giving Cuisinart to people. So everyone, I just want to say that you are all getting air fryer later this afternoon. Thank you. And Martina knows. She knows all about this. Even my daughters know about it. Even my daughter's cleaning lady knows about it. I gave her an egg timer. Okay, this is true.

50:05What? And I told Adriana in confidence. And now maliciously she is trying to shame me. You're shaming her. Who outs somebody on national TV? I like that she says that even her daughters know. This is also moments after she says one of the reasons why she had an affair was because she was missing her daughters. So was the conversation like, I just want you girls to know that because you left home, I cheated on Martina with Adriana and Mortician and the coffee maker I had promised to you, unfortunately, I have had to send away. I apologize. You have a mask, okay? You are not the face that you say you have.

50:45You are promiscuous and you cheat on your wife and I'm the bad guy? I'm the bad guy now? Oh, please, Adriana. He's like, okay, we need to take a break. So they go to break. And Andy's like, you guys need to make up because this is a housewives reunion. So you're supposed to make up. Oh, really? Well, until this promiscuous thing, you know, goes around and tries to make me the bad guy, I would make up. But now, but now, unless you tell the truth, there's no moving forward. Did I say you're the bad guy? No, I did not. I just said that you tricked me into having sex with you so that you could control me and abuse me.

51:23When is this calling you a bad guy? Because she's a serial cheater. I did not say you were bad. Oh, come on. That would never go for you, you dirty little whore. So she gets up. And Julia's insisting that she did not call Adrien a bad guy. But she did say that. You did say that she was abusing you and was malicious. and was blackmailing you, which I'm pretty sure is not what we see in like, I don't know, Julia Roberts or... By the way, Julia Roberts, can I say something? Please, I love some Julia Roberts news. She was on Watch What Happens Live earlier this week and they were posting this clip about like how Julia Roberts is like, you know what?

52:05I love Real Housewives of Miami. I mean, that is what a funny show. And then Andy was like, really? Wow. And he's asking her questions. And she was like, oh, when Julia, when Julia said that she had slept with another cast mate and the recipient of that did not seem happy. I was like, Julia Roberts, you do not watch the show. You don't know Adriana's name. You called her the recipient of it. And she's like, oh, and Stephanie, what a great first season. I mean, she really came on all prim and proper. I was like, who made, someone made Julia Roberts a highlight reel so she could have her talking points for Watch What Happens Live.

52:42and I appreciate doing the homework. I really do. But like, you can't fool us, okay? If you do not know Adriana's name, you cannot tell us that you were a Miami fan. And if you would like to refute this, you're welcome to come on to Watch What Happens and discuss Uncrappy Hour. We'll educate you. You will always accept Julia. We should have a spinoff podcast just educating Julia Roberts about things she needs to know about housewives. Because Emma Roberts is a big Bravo fan. But Julia Roberts, I'm like, Listen, and like I said, if she wants to come on here and set the record straight, I will always make room for Julia Roberts.

53:17But I felt like she should have known Adriana's name. It made me put an eyebrow up in the air about that one. Yeah, we do not believe you, Julia Roberts. However, we do still love you. Hey, everyone. This is the end of part one of this recap. For part two, keep an eye on your podcast feed. It is coming up in just a moment. Thanks so much for listening. Catch you on the second half. Watch what crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alison King. It's always a party on Alison Block. Our way is the Amber way. It's the Foster and the Furious. It's Amanda Foster. It's always automatic with Ashley Otto.

53:53Put your hands together for Carly Clapp. Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniela. Itchles. We never miss her call, it's Diane Call. Erin McNicholas. She don't miss no trick-a-less. Hava Nagila Weber. You'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones. I go, you go, we all go for Hugo Jamie She has no less namey She's our kind of mess, it's Jennifer Messer Sips some scotch with Jessica Trotch She's our favorite streamer, Caroline Peacock Kristen the Piston Anderson Get a bee in your bonnet with Lacey B K, surah, surah, whatever we'll be We'll Lauren Sills be She gets an A from us, it's Lindsay D Let's give a kisserino To Lisa Lino Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McHenry We love her on the rocks.

54:40It's Melissa Cox. Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the Berg. This is Livin' with Michelle Vivian. I love-a-ya, Olivia Williamson. She sure is swell. It's Raquel. Yes, we canna. It's Savannah. Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman. Let's share with Sharon Eldridge. Darn Skippy. It's Tippi. And our super premium sponsors. She's VVIP. It's Amanda V. Can't lose when you're with Amy Baldwin. win. Somebody get us 10 cc's of Betsy MD. We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. Let's get real with Caitlin O 'Neill. Put us on a stretcher. It's Charlotte Fletcher. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper.

55:22Can't have a meal without the Emily sides. Who, what, why, where, and Gwen Pentland. Let's go into the woods with Guy Tubbs. It's our queen. It's Queen La 'Efa. Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall. Hail the cork master, the master of the cork, Jennifer Corcoran. We got our wish. It's Jen Plish. She's not harsh. She's Jill Hirsch. My favorite Murdo, Karen McMurdo. She's a total knockout. It's Katie Mannock. We love him madly. It's Kyle Pod Chadley. In the study with a candlestick, it's Leslie Peacock. Gee, it's Lisa H. We're ride or die for Lisa Ryder Baron. She's a whiz. It's Liz Sarthy. Always killing it.

56:01It's Low Alkalani. The incredible edible Matthews sisters. She eases our woes. It's Melissa St. Rose. There's a chance of meatballs. It's Rebecca Cloud. Maximum love for Sandy Maximoska. She's the queen bee. It's Sarah Lemke. We cannot tell a lie. It's Sarah Tell of Sun. Shannon, out of a cannon, Anthony. Please don't stop. It's Soli and Pop. Let's take off with Tam La Plaine. We're obsessed all with Tessa V. She ain't no shrinking Violet Kuchar. We love you guys.

56:38Thank you.