#3043 RHOP S10E03 Part One: Chin Checks and Balances

0:21Hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker. Joining me today on this glorious Monday is the one and only Ronnie Karam. Hi, Ronnie. How are you? How are you? I'm doing pretty well. Doing pretty well. I'm doing pretty swell. It's just another day, another week to start off with crappins. And today is crappy hour day. A lot's happened on Bravo since our last crappy hour. So come join us tonight. that's going to be at 5.30 on the West Coast and it's going to be at 8.30 on the East Coast. And - Special light, Leah Black's coming.

1:03And Leah Black is going to be here. Leah Black, OG, real housewife of Miami, probably my number one candidate to return as a housewife on Bravo in some capacity. She will be joining us and she's such a character and she's so fun. And I can't wait to ask her questions about this season of Miami that just wrapped up and anything else. so please join us for our special guest Leah is a long time friend of the podcast and she was one of the very first if not the first Bravo Liberty who ever came on to watch what crap ends years and years and years ago I think she was the first yeah remember there was a hurricane behind her on the freeway or something she's like oh it's so windy out here she was out running a tornado or something remember that was funny I'm running a tornado it's right behind me on the freeway what do you guys want to talk about and she's been yapping ever since.

1:55She's lovely. Tear it down. So yeah, she's always supported us. So come join us while we go talk with Leah and you can find that. That's actually on YouTube. Go check out the Crappens YouTube. We're trying to grow it, make it nice, make it sexy, make it fun. Yeah, it's free. It's also a free post on Patreon. So you're always going to find it over there. And on top of that, Patreon. Wow, what a place. We have weekly bonus episodes. We also have our podcast, the video version of our podcast. I'm sitting really low in the frame today. I'm like sliding down. Got to sit up. So yeah, join us. Patreon.com slash Watch What Crappens.

2:31Today, Real Housewives of Potomac. It's the third episode of the season. We get our taglines. Kierna is still, you know what? She's still putting in that effort this season. She's like, no, no, no. I will be a housewife. Come hell or high water. I will do it. So Kierna's coming and trying it. This is a whole episode of Kierna trying it. Will at least one of her fights be interesting? Yes. One of her nonsensical stupid fights. Can they be interesting? No, they're really not. But it is interesting watching her try over and over. And you know what? A for effort. Yeah, A for effort. For sure. I love a housewife that takes notes.

3:11You know, she heard the audience. And the audience basically last season was saying, why is Kierna a housewife? and she said, I'm going to step it up. And she also clearly told Greg, listen, I don't know what you're thinking, but like you either get on board new Kierna or you don't because this train is leaving the station. And he came this episode and like he was all smiles, acting like he was actually enjoying the experience, which he wasn't and trying to be all silly. So she's sort of getting things in shape over there, I guess. Well, she brought her mom and her mom is the most important thing because her mom was like, I'm not going to stay in this party.

3:49Like, why would I stay here? I'm not going to be here with these trifling, you know. And then she did stay and just judged the whole thing, which I loved. She stayed and stood by the fireplace and just gave looks to everybody. Like at one point she was even waving her hand, like, oh no, no. I know. She's like a school chaperone at the prom. She was. She's like, do not make me step in there. So funny. She's a great addition. Ditch Karen or bring the mom. That's who she is. I think that would be a good direction. So shall we start in with our taglines for this? Let's do her. Taglines, everybody.

4:25Giselle is first. When the nest is empty, it's time for naked, grown, and sexy. Why do I feel like Giselle is not going to be doing any of those things? Giselle's not going to be doing anything but stirring shit. That's what she does. You know, I liked her line in this episode when she said, I didn't, these girls say such stupid things. I don't even have to make stuff up anymore, which I liked. It's freely admitting. Yeah. She's like, I could just, they could just let her rip. Wendy's line is, I put the high in higher education. Oh, that already didn't age so well. You also put the high behind bars.

5:08You put the high in mug shots.

5:14we've seen the pictures so stacy some people believe the lies but still i rise it's from my angel loves loves this listen here angel loser you can't just steal from my angelou you better pay you better pay the copyrights Kierna's is Beauty is my business, but getting you together is my specialty That one's pretty good, actually I think that's some good wordplay there I think hers should be I have a new billboard and you bill be bored You bill be bored You bill be bored Michelle Lolly steps in Don't worry, I will do your tagline You bill be bored

6:05wait i got this i can do this you bill be bored you barely bored so then we move over to tia who's like you can only clutch pearls if you have them and darling i have loads uh great love tia i'm just happy with anything she says she could have been like i went to the supermarket the other day and I found something that was on sale. I'd be like, oh, fabulous tagline. Doth is horrible creatures. The end. Angels is hell hath no fury like an angel scorned. Oh, yeah. We see that in today's episode as you immediately back down and go after whoever cared to watch you to. I know, right? Angels should have been, I will charge you to go outside.

7:01because her business of like making people pay to go on hikes, which is still the biggest ripoff business I've ever heard. So then is Ashley. Or if you come for me, I'll say take a hike.

7:18This cherry blossom is ready for her second bloom. Come on, Ashley. These lines came after your second bloom. Okay, you missed it. You missed the boat, Ashley. Ashley, you've been blooming for a long time. You've been having lots of blooms. I mean, you had the Luke Goldbranson bloom. You had the Ralph bloom. You had the Beavis and Butthead bloom. I mean, there's been a lot of blooming. Blooming doesn't only have to do with men, okay? Well, I feel like with Ashley, it does, because what else is she doing? It's like, oh, does the TikTok dance count as a bloom? She's singing. She's drag kinging. and as we learned today she's going to exercise classes michelle lolly returns she is dragging she's dragging uh so let's see what the ladies are up to today angel um angel's talking about her new house that she's shopping for with bobby for this tv show that they're shooting that we're watching and she wants to spend seven million and he's like god damn and then we go to ashley he's like that's a lot of hiking trips it's a lot of luxury hiking trips in colorado he's like you know i'm not still playing football right like my income is done for my life let's save some money let's save some yeah ashley is at spin class it looks like she's at like a spin yoga class which i don't even know how those two concepts work together um but she's saying like since i got divorced i mean it's like really something i'm raising who i am the woman that i am right now And like, if there's like a class of like other women, but it really activates my brain.

8:56I just want to be the fastest and the strongest and the best. So she has, she's going to exercise class. She's trying to somehow like turn going to exercise class into like an empowering statement of her womanhood and independence after divorce. But I'm like, that's fine. You're just going to an exercise class. You're going to spring class. That thought was interesting. She's like, I'm a woman, and now I'm doing what I want to do. I'm going to spin class. I was like, you've always gone to spin class. What are you talking about? I know. You were going to spin class with Michael also. And now I'm better than everyone else.

9:37Now we go to Stacey and Arabella, who's taking a pageant class with a beauty queen lady. And she's teaching her to walk. and can I just tell you Arabella looks like her father and she does not want to do this it looks like you're making the ex-husband try and do it and he's like I will do this because I want to please you but this is the only reason I'm here please take me for cookie after thank you yes but it's all worth it because we really see the purpose of this is not for Arabella to get pageant experience the purpose is for Stacy to relive her pageant experience because the instructor is like okay now walk walk okay one two head up all the way beautiful okay let's say she's like do you mind if i step in i just want to show her what what what jeans she comes from okay here we go and then of course stacy fully takes the stage and does her pageant walk and does it like perfectly but with that like additional veneer of qvc experience and the pigpen cloud that's that's following her around of breath because that's all i can think of you see these ladies that that's what they do to somebody they make they make stinky breath a thing and now that's all i see when she walks that's not fair that's not fair i hope they have a lot to answer for answer for at the reunion i almost said answer for answer for i hope they have a lot to answer for at the reunion because that's ridiculous wow well i'm sorry that this pageant scene was clouded by the breath a breath cloud.

11:08But anyway, yeah, Stacey does it. And I always think it's funny when this happens because it's clearly like, are you really there to teach Arabella? Are you just having your moment on camera? Because this is going to come back in therapy in about five or six years for her. Just so you know, like mother, mother never even let me do my pageant classes. She always would take the stage. I mean, we all know this is where it's headed. that's why my parents put me in bowling league so they could just watch me rise to the top and live their dreams out which never happened we always won the trophy where the person has just dropped a bowling ball on their toe and they're grabbing their toe they're like ow and that's the trophy that's a trophy we were last place every year yeah it's a last place trophy wow bowling but i think i told you the story about ruth the bowling ball right i think i did at one point but um that was my finest moment in bowling is when you know you're choosing a bowling ball and then i found a ball at the alley it just said ruth on it and i was like this is my ball there's no more to that story i just love to i just love to remind people that somewhere out there there's like a red it's like a maroon bowling ball somewhere in like mount kisco new york that just says that's right yeah my meemaw's was ramona because that was her name ramona and so there's a bowling ball out there that said Ramona too I like to bowl with her my fingers got too big now what then it was all over um so then um yeah she's just living out her dreams and you know she is because she's brought her gay there to be like yes you're walking right yes you're doing it great um so but I actually actually what I love about AJ is he's a little bit not that at the same time because like once she does her whole thing he's like okay okay you ready to come back down you're ready to take your seat this is not your moment like he's kind of like okay Stacy let's not be ridiculous.

12:55He's like, I'm working on my next meal ticket. Your daughter, sit down, sit down. Take a seat. The new premium rises. Not the premium, that's insurance. Those new supreme rises. Sit down. Premium, new premium rises. UK Slagging, everyone. The latest Ryan Murphy show. The newest premium rises. It's between Flo and Jake from State Farm. Who's going to win? Monster. Monster colon flow. Played by Maggie Gyllenhaal. No, it'll still be Stephanie Courtney. You cannot fire Stephanie Courtney. She will always survive. I'll play my own Ryan Murphy bio. I'll do it. But why is Jessica Lange in this? I don't understand that.

13:45Sorry, I need to get a gay icon. She's playing Jake from State Farm. Stop calling me, please. Please. that would be ron murphy's move he just get all the old gay divas just line them up and put them in like and gene's smart as the gecko like what yeah uh so they facetimed papa so he can see the final walkthrough and so poor arabella has to do it arabella show your daddy um show him arabella show him and she's like you know we're not telling Arabella that we're back together because divorce is hard so we're just lying to her we know Stacey that seems to be what you're being accused of all season I love that she's like how dare you accuse me of being a liar I'm lying to my daughter for another season it's been fun I can't wait for the twist to come out that um that like what's his name again?

14:42Tiago, Thierry, whatever. I can't wait for Timo. Timo. Timo. Temu. I can't wait for the twist to be that her husband and Arabella, he's already told Arabella and they're just actually pretending. He's pretending that he hasn't told her and she's pretending like she doesn't know just because it's too hard for Stacey to deal with. All this time she's trying to protect them but they're protecting her. Right? Wouldn't that be so sweet and entertaining? That's a sweet turn. but our bell is extremely smart so she knows things that are clearly not fine she knows things are clearly not final so yeah they facetimed the dad and he watches and he's like oh great i'm glad you found ways to waste more of my money and then we go to kierna and wendy and now this is a salt lake city scene if i've ever seen one i mean what are you two doing something illegal this looked like deep throat right here i mean she was sitting on a bench by the river and see and wendy like john le caray is happening in this scene what where is the briefcase it was like somewhere between like an 80s like cold war spy movie but also like ingmar bergman because i remember i saw like one ingmar bergman movie where there was a couple and they were sitting on separate benches but talking to each other and i was like this is so artsy and spy at the same time what is happening here and it's all shot from behind yeah who is the operative here and wendy keeps showing up in completely inappropriate outfits like literally everywhere they are and i don't know if it's because they were arrested for the fraud and all that stuff but i'm just like oh my god that's just so much money you're wasting for a park bench scene you know what i mean i know you can never wear that again i know you're on tv but you're on a bench at a river it's not even a nice river it's It's like a shitty East River or something, you know?

16:36And Kierna's sitting there. You know, we only see her back. And then Wendy comes in this crazy-looking jumpsuit, like this pastel romper thing, and sits down. Then Kierna just kind of turns to her and starts talking to her side. Like, just face it, she's reading a newspaper. She's like, okay, let's get right to it. Let me start by saying this. I wanted to bring it outside of a party setting for us to have a conversation. We can discuss issues that I feel we're having. Do not look at me. look straight ahead. The eagle has landed and the nest is under the bench. So she says that she feels like Wendy just wants to be TV friends, you know, and off camera just felt a little phony, like didn't feel like a genuine relationship and that like her behavior is not as consistent with someone who has ever liked her.

17:24So naturally to get to the root of why they aren't as good friends off camera than they are on camera, she has decided to address this on camera. Yeah, she wants to only confront her on camera about their off camera. Why aren't you as good friends with me off camera? I'm asking you on camera. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappens commercial.

17:52So, Kieran, I know you've watched a lot of Housewives shows. I know that we'd all prefer Housewives shows where everybody's friends and that's how we know each other. But we know that's a bunch of bullshit. And when people bring people on as friends, it doesn't mean they're really friends. You know, we know that Wendy's not your really friend. We've always known, especially when Wendy was like, I'm not staying in the same room as Kierna. Hell no. And didn't come check on you when you had diarrhea, which I don't remember. I mean, I don't know if you remember it, but that was an entire storyline.

18:20That was a very huge storyline. That was Kierna's first victim storyline. It was like, no one checked on me and I had really bad diarrhea. only giselle checked on her about diarrhea it's like not even a joke that was her storyline yeah um she the other thing is like they're your co-workers i feel like more than friends and so you can be friends with your co-workers but like if you run into your co-worker at a restaurant you're not necessarily saying like oh my god come sit down at the table with me you're you're trying to kind of maybe have like some separation i mean i do think that wendy's an asshole but um i also think that kierna is like really trying to make this a thing and wendy just doesn't have the time for it wendy you know is is like kierna is is this someone on her show who's not been terribly effective and like also i feel like kierna kind of has kid sister vibes on this show a little bit sort of like what ashley's initial role was like so you know i kind of like understand wendy being kind of frosty.

19:22I mean, it's not nice. It's not nice that she's frosty. You know what this is? This is Kristen Takeman energy from Real Housewives of New York. When Bethany came back on and she was just like, why would you be friends with me? Why aren't we friends? Aren't we friends? Why are you putting me in a little box? And Bethany's like, I don't have time for this. Okay, who are you? Who even are you? I don't even know who you are. Why am I being forced to fight with this new person? It's giving those vibes. And yes, Wendy can be an asshole. Everybody knows it, but it's like Kierna's so late for this that it's like, we already knew Wendy was an asshole.

19:54Like, Wendy's been an asshole, and now we accept Wendy as the asshole that she is, and so now we kind of like Wendy being an asshole, if that makes any sense. Maybe not like it, but especially when you're trying too hard to have fights with her, because really all that counts is Wendy is always really nice to you on camera, especially when no one else really was, Kierna. And, you know, you should be grateful that someone's nice to you on camera. It's on camera. That's what matters. It's TV. Yeah. Yeah. And also I don't love fights that are about things that happen off camera. Like unless it's like something really, really, you know, strong, like Scandaval was something that happened off camera.

20:30That's fine. But if it's like, um, you know, you're not as nice to me off cameras on camera. I mean, I mean, that's okay. But I don't, I think that Kieran was coming in really hot on this issue. She could, I think her vibe should be more like, Hey, I want to check in. because I kind of feel like when the cameras aren't rolling, I feel like we have a different vibe and I just want to know if there's something that maybe I've done that made you want to act differently around me. I don't know, but she's coming in accusatory, like, you're different to me. You're different and I don't like this and you're condescending.

21:09Well, first of all, Wendy's always been condescending, so that's your fault for not realizing that until now. but also it's like you're not going to get in if you're trying to mend a friendship i don't think you're really going to get anywhere by sitting someone down and then just like pointing a finger at them and telling them why they suck also it's like week three and you haven't shut up about this and you've given us nothing that's really you know condemnable it's like i don't care about it first of all you got mad that she didn't say hi to you while she was giving a speech which is weird and then i mean you've given us nothing to hang our hats on you know what i mean and so So even with current circumstances going on, I have to be team Wendy because you're just trying too hard.

21:48It's ridiculous. Yeah, I agree. And it's like, her big thing is that she interrupted, she sat down at a conversation and then was upset that she was not like being addressed more, which I mean, you know, if a friend sits down, you do try to sort of like do sort of nonverbal things to welcome them in. But at the same time, you went and like joined a conversation and then you're like shocked that you didn't become the center of it. So yeah, weird. So now the new thing is she's like, I don't have shit to do with this, but are you doing Preakness? And Wendy says, yes, but wait. Kierna's like, because I planned on hosting for the Black Eyed Susan event as well.

22:26And either we could come together here or we could have two separate events here because I did the legwork of trying to make this an event. And Wendy goes, I did the legwork. And first lady, Dawn Moore, her team reached out to me, which, oh, my God, Dawn Moore's at home like, oh, Jesus. She's like, what? I missed that one. she's like this has been a rough two weeks for me okay just please leave my name out of your mouth can we have that edited out can we just edit that out of the peacock person yes she's like let's have dawn less dawn less no uh please don't mention me right now thank you very much um but i also love you know when kieran is like i put in the legwork to make an event for this Black Eyed Susan thing.

23:11I love that what ultimately winds up being is like fruit salad in her apartment at the table where there's not enough seats for everyone to sit at. It's like a very, it's actually a very standard brunch that I think most people might have. But on Real Housewives, they were just kind of cramped on this table. They had to put two place settings at the end of the table. front of like a really ugly closet door like to be shot you know there's like not enough room for like the for like her mom and greg to like be not in the scene because they're all like it's just she's like i put a lot of legwork into this okay i saw some really good pineapple and melon so um she's like yeah well i did the legwork and first lady don moore reached out to me and so karen is like okay fine so i get and she's like what's the issue karen and she's like i didn't host your thing and she's like but i don't understand the issue and she's like but there's not an issue then so who did it first so that's if you guys are going to fight about this we need to know was this a party you were going to have together was this something kiana was going to do and then wendy stole it when she got the the first lady invite or was this something wendy said i want to do this thing and kiana said okay i'll host a pre thing for it and now they're fighting so they don't want to do it together i need more details on this stupid fight i feel like kiana i think reading between the lines, Kierna was excited to host like a proper housewives party.

24:38And instead, Wendy has come in and is kind of like the first lady of Maryland reached out about doing something. So I'm definitely going to do that. And so now Kierna, probably her big thing that she was going to do now got downgraded last second into being a brunch. This brunch I just made fun of her for, but it probably was like a last minute switcheroo. She got downgraded on the schedule, but I'm sorry, it was the first lady of Maryland. Like, I'm sorry, that trumps, Kierna. And if I were at Kierna, I'd be like, oh, that's so cool. We should definitely do that. That's cool. We're going to go to the governor's mansion or be in the governor's box or whatever.

25:12And Wes Moore, very hot governor too, I'd like to point out. Of course you do that. It's like, go hang out with Wes Moore, a hot governor versus Greg on the sofa. Hello. This is an obvious choice. So Wendy tells us, I'm so excited to host the Ladies at Preakness. It's one of the races that's part of the Triple Crown It's a staple in the Maryland community And then we see a flashback of the ladies going in 2017 And she's like And let's be very clear First Lady of Maryland And yeah, she asked me Okay, now that being said Let's settle down on this First Lady of Maryland stuff Also, at the same time I know I just did a whole state They're like, oh my god, it's Westmore Icon No, but at the same time, let's also relax here Okay, like it's cool that the first lady of Maryland invited you, but like, let's just like take a breather.

26:05Okay, this is not like, you know, Julie Andrews was like come to my mansion in Camelot or wherever she lives, you know. What if she was like, Julie Andrews invited me to Peekness? I don't know why Julie Andrews became the... Why does Julie Andrews trump the first lady of Maryland? I mean, what the hell? Well, I think Julie Andrews is more... I don't know. What do you, there's no term limits. I don't, I don't know why. Yeah. There's no term limits on spinning around on a mountain. Okay. I don't know why. A doe will always be deer people, a female deer. Okay. Sorry. First lady of Maryland, Don Moore.

26:47I think Don Moore seems great, but let's like Julie Andrews. That's all we're saying. No Julie Andrews. And like, it's funny. Cause like Wendy, like she, She just bragged about Don Moore one too many times. And I've already now been like, you know what? I've had enough. Yeah. We've had it with you, Don Moore, trying to get on the show. What if Don Moore, what if they show up and Don Moore is like, you know what, Wendy? I feel like you're just trying to be a TV friend. I would love that. Like everybody's just turning on Wendy. Wasn't Don Moore on last season or did she send something? When Wendy and Eddie had their big party, I think, oh, maybe they'd sent like a letter like from the offices of Don Moore or something like that.

27:23Oh, yeah. They're like, we endorse this. What was it? Like the renewal of their vows? What was it? It was something. Yeah, she read. We should have known. Yeah, she did read something where she's like, and this is from the first lady of Maryland. It's like, okay. So Kieran was like, oh, wow. So I just got, you know, basically overshadowed by the first lady. Okay, got it. So she's like, okay, let's move on from this because I want to have a real conversation.

27:57when we were at Ashley's Bloom Ball, you were very, very condescending. Oh, for Christ's sake. We're going back to the Bloom Ball. We didn't even want to go to the Bloom Ball in the first place. Now we have to go back there, Kierna. Kierna. Can we go to, this Bloom Ball is wilting me. And then by the way, the only footage, the only evidence they can pull up of Wendy being condescending is just like a shot of her face just being blank and bored, listening to whatever Kierna's saying. I was like, that's not condescension. That's just like, really? I have like, you're going to come at me right now and I'm just trying to have a conversation with Giselle.

28:28Yeah. She was just lifting up her dress and talking to Giselle about her dress. Karen is like, how dare you? I walked up and you didn't immediately drop your dress and say, hello, Kierna, we're discussing my dress. So Wendy's like, what brought you to me at Ashley's event? I'll be honest with you. That's very juvenile to me. And I don't understand it. She goes, false, false, false. Okay. That's not true. But go ahead. False. Go ahead with your falsities. Whether it's false or not, I'm telling you how I feel and not just how I feel, but how Dawn Moore feels, First Lady of Maryland. So I want you to know that I saw red flags and you as a friend and I saw state flags when I visited Dawn Moore.

29:05And I was just trying to navigate it because I was trying to learn you better. Yeah. And Kiana goes, same, same, same. Oh, same, same, same. Oh, yeah. Well, but for me, like I was like, dang, she doesn't call me. you know me the person who's always had your back in the group on my birthday last year it was ashley said that you got your but your business like from from drug money and guess what i was the only one in that group that chased after you much the way don more chased after me with the invitation to the preakness and you know what it's okay don't worry about i said to her don't worry don't worry it's okay it's okay and that's the kind of friend i've been to you the kind of friend who consoles you even though she's friends with the first lady of maryland but that is funny though that Wendy's only evidence of them being friends is her hugging her and going, it's okay that they called your boyfriend a drug dealer.

29:55Like that's their only evidence of friendship, Kierna. Why are you acting like you guys are best friends? It's so weird. So she's like, yeah, but you know what, Wendy? Here's what you do. You show up whenever there's a moment where you have to align and look like a friend. But then privately, I expected more from our friendship. She's like, well - Why are you tracing this friendship then? Yeah. I mean privately are people calling your boyfriend a drug dealer that she should be there privately because that's what she was there for you for so that's it yeah what do you want it's so weird that you're making me stick up for Wendy it feels like this is the wrong season to be sticking up for Wendy of all seasons but I can't help it you're just coming up with too much bullshit you know and Wendy can be wrong and all the other stuff that she's done and still be right in this and I think that's the case here Kierna like you're going against someone who should be universally being like kind of dog on right now because of everything going on in the press and you've got us on her side.

30:49I mean, what the hell, Kierna? This is how bad you are at this right now. Rethink. Yeah. Isn't it weird? I feel like, I feel like, I feel like we're all kind of in a holding pattern on Wendy right now. We're like, should we, should we be like really angry at Wendy? Is there more to the story? I feel like we're all just sort of like watching, but it hasn't actually affected my view of her on the show just yet. I just have cringe moments like with her, with her tagline, you know yeah i mean what can you do you just go through week by week you know what day by day we can just take it day by day we're housewives addicts we have to think of this like our addiction you know we can't just waste all our anger and be mad when people tell us to and you know make bad choices just because we feel like it you know we take this day by day and today i think wendy is correct uh yes so karen was like no i'm gonna have a drink damn it damn it i ruined it.

31:45Kiana says, when I feel like it comes to a point in that friendship that we can't connect on it, I don't like it, and it makes me feel uncomfortable because I feel like I can't show up and be my authentic self with a person that I've seen as my friend, and then when I sat across from the event and I just watched you be so ugh. And we see, go back to the balloon ball with Giselle, when he's talking to Giselle about her outfit, and she goes, I'm watching you sitting there locked in with Giselle, and you don't even fucking like her. She's like, wait, but like, because it was our conversation. We were talking.

32:13That's why I was locked in with her. But you don't even like her. And she goes, you don't fucking like her. She goes, no, actually, I do like her. She goes, oh, but you're talking about me. No, because you don't like her. She does that a lot today. Kierna, you don't understand. Everybody talks about each other. This is housewives. You cannot like somebody. And then the next day you're at lunch in a stupid outfit with them. That's how the show is. You have to talk to people you don't like on this show. I'm going to say something that I would never say to Stacey. Take a breath for a second, okay?

32:46Exhale. But if Stacey was here, I would say inside breath. Inside breath. So Wendy's like, calm down. She goes, I am calm. And she says, when I was talking to Giselle, that was my conversation with Giselle. And I don't even know what the issue is. And she's like, here's what you did. The Wendy I talked to on the phone is very excited about me, but it really centers around the show. Okay, because you're on a show together. Who cares? What else is she going to be excited about? Your relationship with Greg? You're fake moving to another apartment so you don't take shit from the audience about still being with Greg?

33:19Which, by the way, you're hypocritically getting on Stacey 4 and probably Giselle later this season. So Kierna's like, yeah, you're excited on the phone, but then you're not excited in real person. And Wendy just starts doing her cackle. cackle that like yeah when you're just like i've had enough she starts laughing and she's like this is what she's bringing to me i don't know what to do with it it seems like the level of hand-holding that kiana needs in a friendship exceeds where i am as a grown-ass woman who's friends with the first lady of maryland yeah and so karen was like stop it but wendy just gets up to leave and still keeps cackling.

34:01And she's like, I still don't like you. And you're raggedy. Goodbye. Thank you. So Kierna is like, this is all the confirmation I needed. The fake laugh that I'm not really hearing you. To me, it's just a lot of deflection. Kierna, she doesn't like you. Here's, let me just tell you the truth. The reader getting on Wendy is correct. She only likes you on the show because you're an ally. Now you're being an asshole on the show and you're going to find out real quick what it's like to have her not as your ally because you just you fucked up kiana for no reason she doesn't like you she didn't like you she's not gonna like you that's just how it is she's showing up to punch in and then she's gonna punch out so she can punch in and be on your sign or she can punch in and be your enemy and you're about to find out the second choice it's not a good one bad choice yeah so yeah she's sort of in this basically kiana concludes that like i think we're not really enemies but we're not really friends and they flip each other off as Kierna leaves.

35:00And Wendy just keeps on doing this laugh. But then they have this weird moment. They both start walking away from the river and Wendy almost, she hugs Kierna. There's a side hug with her laugh. And Kierna's like, get off me. And I was like, what was that about? You guys just had a fight, but you're trying to do a side hug with her. Did you guys just say, okay, good scene. We just wrapped that up. Let's go have lunch. Wendy's energy is just laughing it off. And she's like, I'm not going to fight with you. that's what I'm getting from her. Like, she's not even mad. She's just like, I'm not going to give you a fight on TV.

35:31Sorry. Like, bye. Have a good day. Okay. I wasted this outfit on a park bench. So have a good day. Yeah. Seriously. Goodbye. Um, so now we go over to angels house with Bobby and we get a new type of generational trauma. Uh, it's so rare that we're able to get a new kind of trauma on any of these housewives shows. We've gone through so many of them, but Bobby, uh, soft launches a new one, which is that when Patricia, his mom says, offers some yogurt to him. He says, nah, I don't eat yogurt. Had too much Go-Gurt as a kid. I was like, ooh. Oh, so it's my fault you don't like yogurt or fruit. The mother could never win.

36:09The mother could never win. All I wanted to do was show you love, and I showed you that love through Go-Gurt, and now this is how you repay me. The doctor's like, show me on this Pop-Tart where Go-Gurt hurt you. He's like, yeah.

36:27that's why he was such a good football player because he just like envisioned all the other opponents as sticks of go-gurt he's like this teddy bear this teddy bear is go-gurt tell it how you feel tell it how you feel

36:42so it's breakfast for the kids um and angel has a lot of orchids a lot of orchids and i feel like That's a rich person thing to be like, look at me with all my flowers that die every five minutes. I can just get more. I can just get more. This is our yogurt family. We've got as many yogurt orchids as we want. We went from yogurt to orchids and we're never looking back. Like, no, Angel, we'd like a better tagline from you. But she's holding up. There's a orchid flower that's on the table. Like the bud, the whole flower fell off. That's how they do. the whole I know and she's like and then you're left with a fucking stem and some bark thinking will this ever come back so it's happening to me right now every day I'm like it's a coming back are you coming back people have been writing me letters saying it will come back it will come back keep it going so I keep doing the watering thing I keep going through the motions still not back yeah fucking orchids yeah yeah I agree and that's how I actually think that they are not That's what I call him.

37:43Dorkid. You're a dorkid is what you are. You're a dorkid. Maybe it went from being an orchid to an orc adult. It said, I'm leaving this stem, going off to better pastures. Commercials. Here comes one right now.

38:04Anyway, this is actually why I think that they don't normally have orchids, because I think anyone who ever has had an orchid or has had a friend who's had an orchid, because anyone who has a friend who has an orchid will always have the rant that you just had, which is like, I'm so mad my orchid died. I've been on the receiving end of that for so many times. And I'm always very sympathetic. I'm not sick of it. It's actually a rant I really enjoy. But you can tell she's never had an orchid before because she's like shocked. She's like, what happened to this flower? I'm like, it's an orchid, bitch.

38:34That's what happened to orchids. They're loser flowers. And you know, when this guy gave me this orchid, at our little crappens thing. Someone brought it to me. And at first I was like, that is so sweet. Those are such gorgeous flowers. But then I thought, this person wants me to fail. You know what I mean? And you know who it was? It was my mortgage guy. It was my mortgage guy who gave it to me. Well, it's a straight guy who gave you a flower. What can you expect? Well, his girlfriend got it. But I was like, these people want me to fail. You know what I mean? They don't want me to have a good refi rate.

39:02They ultimately want me to. They're getting me a failure plant. Because everybody with an orchid knows those plants make you feel like a fucking failure. or everybody knows it. And I was like, they don't like me. They truly don't like me. So anyway, I mean, on top of that, like, so their whole thing, I feel like with orchids is that they, they look like, I think like giant bee vaginas, right? Or is that why the bees love going to them? Cause they crawl up in there. Cause they're like, oh yeah. I don't know. I've never looked at a bee vagina up close. How am I supposed to know? I just seem to remember when I was a kid in like science class that the bees loved going to, Like the orchids mimic something sexual for the bees, I think.

39:40So the bees get all up in there. So I'm like, okay, so you're, first of all, you're fading. So you're telling me the orchid died because I stuck my penis in it. That is actually, I need to actually look that up. I probably should, well, I probably should look into this more, but I seem to remember that there was some, so okay. Natural History Museum has a headline right here, right here. The Natural History Museum of the UK headline, sneaky orchids manipulate beads for pollination. I mean, that's all right there in the headline. Am I right? Sneaky orchid. Sneaky orchid. Okay. So we're talking about orchids so much because it's an angel scene and there's not much else to talk about.

40:25So she talks about her mother passing, but giving her a lot of wisdom. And then they talk about her mom for a while. and now they're talking about let's see a package and now they're talking about their kids and her mom's protecting her through stuff okay so now they're talking about the girls he's crying in the corner because he's thinking about gogurt yeah continue gogurt is in the corner just laughing maniacally it's like got another one got another one gogurt's action orchid an orchid's like a gogurt get you both I'll take this entire couple down the orcas from like needful things it's like oh here's a little trinket from your childhood to destroy you so they start talking about the little party they had at their house and uh angel's like giselle walked in here and she basically related that k said she chin checked me when i went to her talks and caviar event so then we see a flashback to that and she's like and then I woke up upset because number one, that didn't happen.

41:32And number two, why would she use that type of language? Chin checked. How could she? I'm an outdoor expert. I'm a luxury outdoor expert. I have orchids that I'm very comfortable and know how to care for. I have those here. What's chin check. Uh, I think last week we were talking about chin checking and I thought chin checking meant that you just like jot your chin out. Like you'd be like, Hey, quiet. But what I learned this week is that chin checking is like an actual, um, little, uh, little fist on the chin. It's like a little punch on the chin. I didn't realize it was quite literally punching you in the chin.

42:08I still like the urban dictionaries one better of like, you know, that your girlfriend's cheating because she's got the outline of someone's balls on her face. Yeah, that's great one. I can't stop thinking of that. Every time they say it, I start laughing. So now she's decided that she didn't like this chin check thing even more. She woke up now that She's a true, I think she's doing a good job as a housewife because she's forgiving something and then waking up and getting upset all over again and then deciding to make it another episode. And you know what? That's what you're supposed to do. So welcome to work.

42:41So he's like, yeah, chin check is like, boom, to the chin. Like it's a punch to the chin. She goes, yeah, that's actually physical. And he goes, yeah, like she checked your chin. Like she go-kurted your chin. And Angel's like, yeah, there we go. And so I need to have a deeper conversation with Kay about why she had to do that. Because I have her back no matter what. But it is an issue where I feel disrespected for being accused of chin-checking somebody. The language. And then Bobby takes something out of the oven with teeny tiny oven mitts. And he's like, look at these. The biggest oven mitts in the world, huh, everyone?

43:18But the sad truth is that they're probably an extra large oven mitt. He's just so big that they just fit on his fingertips. Um, so he pulls them out and now we go over to, uh, lunchtime at Circa and Stacy is there with none other than Jassy. Jassy is back. I was so happy to see Jassy. I was surprised. I was like, oh, here comes Jassy. I like her because she likes to be all fancy, but you just know that it's going to crumble away. I was surprised that she wasn't a full-time housewife this season. Were you a little surprised? no no i couldn't pick jassy out of a lineup like i wouldn't have remembered her i mean no offense she was always nice but she didn't do much did she all i remember well he had that party at her house she was like look it's a mansion look at all these rich fabulous people it's such a fabulous party and then i know and everyone's like oh her boyfriend didn't make it into the into the nfl what was that like didn't he get no he didn't he lose his position or something or he was just like benched or something like that yeah it didn't go well he didn't get drafted or whatever i mean i don't really understand he went to the kansas he went well he was on the oh he was on the chiefs and they won oh because they had the party because he won the super bowl but then he was hoping to go i don't know i don't know what it was i thought there was some like minor scandal about jassy that was gonna like power her onto the show but didn't he have a baby with somebody while they They were broken up for a week.

44:39See, that's why I loved her because she was very slippery with the truth in a way that I found was very funny. But anyway, she's back. So they're sitting down, they're talking and Stacey, they're bonding over the fact that they bonded in Miami because they both went down to Miami for Mia's birthday party and then Mia ditched them as was discussed on the reunion last season. he Darius Harris is an American professional football football linebacker for the New England Patriots oh so there you go just in case anybody gets annoyed with me for not knowing what the hell I'm talking about because I admittedly don't I don't know anything about sports so there you go but you see this is what happens when Jassy comes back I have to start googling sports shit because I say stupid things and then I have to fix them okay so where were you um I was just saying how they bonded because they both went down to Mia for Mia's birthday party, went down to Miami.

45:37Yeah. So this is another friendship for TV. Cause that was a long time ago. So she's like, wow, so good to see you. Remember how we got so bonded over that Mia Miami trip. Yeah. Me neither. I barely remember it too, but God, it's so good to have a girlfriend. Have I told you that Arabella isn't as good of a walker as me? No, I have to say, I want to start by apologizing, not for Arabella's performance. and she'll never be as good as me, but I don't think that I've been a very good friend. And Jassy goes, that's okay. I'm just happy to be here since I'm not a full-fledged housewife. Well, I pride myself on friendships and the support that I give and get when I love someone and I love you, but I have a lot going on.

46:20And Jassy's like, well, I mean, last time I talked to you on the phone, you were baking schnitzel for your ex-husband.

46:29And she's like, yeah, we're working it out. Okay, you know, tell me about your wedding plans. Do you have a dress? Should I say dresses? She's like, you should definitely say dresses. I've got a lot of dresses. Okay, well, let's pretend I care about your wedding before we start talking about other people. Okay, so listen, everybody's really mean to me in the group now. Now, Kay sent an invitation to the group. She was having a pre-party before Preakness, but Wendy also mentioned that this was something she was involved in. So at this point, I'm putting on a dress and what's it called? What's it called?

47:03A fascinator. A fascinator. And we see Kieran's text that's like, you know, hey, I was invited to Black Eyed Susan Day at Preakness and I'd love for you to come by. I'm having a pregame at my apartment, so come dress for the derby and don't forget your dollars for betting. But then Wendy's text comes through that says, hi, lady, I'd love for you to join me at Black Eyed Susan Day at Preakness. the first lady of maryland dawn moore my friend invited me for the day and i'd love for you to come enjoy the event and your best derby wear yeah so stacy's like wow i just can't tell you how hard it is for me every time i've gotten together with the ladies they gang up on me and ashley and giselle demanded that i present my divorce papers by the way did you read that she does have divorce papers she is legit divorced yes that's what was reported this week by tmz which is basically the real news.

47:57Wow. So Stacey's saying, they're just not happy for me. Jassy then, you know, says that her grandparents got divorced and then they continued to basically have, they were divorced for six months and then they continued a 60-year marriage. So, you know, it's not crazy. Things like this happen. And then Stacey's like, and didn't Giselle get together with her husband? She's like, yeah, there's that too. Speaking of Giselle, word on the street that's her famous line i'm using it now word on the street i don't know if you're aware but giselle has a new man word on the street is that giselle is the word on the street and she's got a man so we see a blurred out picture a paparazzi photo of giselle with some guy and his name is like on the headline which is funny i didn't write it down but they show they're like Sean Springs his name is Sean Springs sorry I didn't mean to stop the show I'm looking at that's his name Sean Springs and so Stacy's like do you think Darius knows him she goes probably so while she's worried about my man we need to find out about her man I don't care is he cheating on somebody like why is it bad if she's dating somebody because she's not sharing it Yeah, I'm about to say, isn't Giselle allowed to date someone?

49:22Maybe it's that she's not divulging it to the group. I don't know if she has to divulge it to the group. I think the issue is that Stacey, it seems like there are untruths surrounding her marital status and her relationship with Timo and whether or not they were together all the time. Everything with TJ, was he paid for it? Was he not paid for it? Was it real? Was it not real? There's no issues surrounding whether or not Giselle is dating a football player. It's like dating. Who cares? Who cares? Yeah. So he is an American football, former professional football player. He was a comeback in the National Football League for 13 seasons, which that's good because Giselle is good on this show, but she's not great with comebacks.

50:05So maybe, maybe he can help her. He played college ball for the Buckeyes and learned all, earned all American honors. And he was selected by the Seahawks third overall in the 1997 NFL draft. Well, look at that. There's a cornerback. Yeah. So a cornerback. I thought it said comeback. God, I'm so blind. Does he come back? I'm really losing it. Maybe it's time to get some glasses. You may have had a comeback moment. I really don't know about sports. I was like, what's a comeback? I love that. I love that they have that in football. Maybe I'm interested in this sport. It's just like Valerie Cherish playing football.

50:44You want to tackle me? I will wither you with a comeback. Writing a city comeback. Hey, you don't even want to hear what I have to say about orchids. So Stacey shows this to Jassy, and Jassy's like, wow, how'd you pull this tea? This is unlike you, Stacey. I'm like, I'm sure she just Googled, is Giselle Bryant dating anyone? And this popped up. It's a news story. Yeah, it's literally a news story. It's not hidden information. You know, I know people around the neighborhood. It's like, it's Google. Hey everyone, this is the end of part one of this recap for part two. Keep an eye on your podcast feed.

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