#3050 RHOC S19E16 Part One: Watch Your Tulip

0:20Well, hello, and welcome to Watch What's Crimmons. I'm Ronnie. That's Ben over there. Hello, Ben. Hi, Ronnie. What's going on? Nothing. Welcome, everybody, to Real Housewives of Orange County Day. It's a glorious, glorious day for us. We hope it is for you as well. If you want these on videos, find them at Patreon. Crapping's on demand. Okay, that's on Patreon. All our recaps are videos. Go get them there. And you also get bonuses over there. That's fun. Monday, we're going to be doing an Amazon Live for those of you who like to shop on Amazon. For those of you who don't, don't watch it, okay?

0:56But for the rest of you, watch it. It's going to be so fun. We do them every other Monday, 4 p.m. Pacific time over on Amazon Live. You can get links in our link and bio on Instagram, okay? So go check that out. Ben, tell me everything. Yes. What's going on with you? Wow. How's the trick? Well, yeah. Tricks are good. Really enjoying this chaotic Orange County Amsterdam trip. I am really bracing for next week. I think it's going to be, I think it's going to be a next one. I'm not a rough one. I think it's gonna be a rough one for us. Bravo people, because I think that it's people are gonna be angry.

1:36And I think it's going to be, I think it's gonna be a wild time next Thursday in orange County land and internet land. So I'm getting ready for it. How are you doing? Good. I'm good. My niece and sister has stolen town. So I went to another concert with them last night. They're concert heads. I don't know what you call that. They like going to a lot of concerts. So last night I went to see Aiden Bissette. He's so cute. His name is Aiden Bissette, some singer. Is he related to Jacqueline? That's exactly what I thought. I was like, I'll go see a Bissette. Unfortunately, he did not have the 80s, you know, haircut, soap opera haircut, which I needed.

2:13But, you know, it was cute. Lots of screaming. There's lots of screaming girls. You know how it goes. I'm about to say, did he play against all odds? that would be perfect wasn't she no but i felt uh you know it was like an old feeling i was just like some creepy guy i was like well this is standing room don't you have any chairs i asked the guy can i sit over there he's like that's for ada i was like can i just fake it like half of those chairs are empty come on my back hurts i'm old does that count for anything but it didn't so i just found every place to lean in the fonda theater that i could possibly find to lean

2:54you should have been like hey hey excuse me i played i played here before can i just go backstage and sit on one of those sofas i totally would have pulled that card and it would have failed immensely i don't think they cared that we played there before i was leaning on the bar then i went to lean on a standing room you know anywhere there was to lean i was leaning on and then i realized oh there's a smoking section i can sit on the curb of the smoking section so i went out there and did that for a while. Talked to some lovely kids from England. Pretty cute. They love a beset. And then I came home and watched Orange County and I was like, holy moly, mother of cannolis.

3:29That's where the trans, the trans light, the anti-trans likes are coming in people. They're coming in. I really, I really did not think this was going to actually be part of the season. And I think that like all season long, people have been giving Heather shit like, like, oh, Heather just being, you know, buddy-buddy with Gretchen. Heather, who has a trans child, is being buddy-buddy with Gretchen, who liked all sorts of problematic social media posts about that stuff. And I thought it was just, like, something that was on our side of the show, as in, like, on the internet, but not on the show.

4:05And to see that that's where it's actually headed for the finale, and watching Heather yell at Gretchen, I was like, oh, my God. this is going to be a wild one and I was also so mad by that button here's why I'm mad about that button because you know in the ongoing wars of Gretchen and Tamara the wars of attrition I honestly was like well we're going to get to it but I have a lot of opinions but my overriding opinion before we headed into that final segment with Gina sitting in a hotel room going I feel me. I know me. I know this stuff. I've been sitting on for three weeks. I've decided I'm not going to say anything until like, it's like appropriate now on this trip.

4:49But, um, is that like, gosh, Tamara is so good at, at her bullshit. Like it's crazy. Tamara doing like Gretchen has this petty, stupid moment with the boy band stuff, right? Where she says that Tamara had an affair. Gretchen should not have done it. They had just brokered a piece. This was bad on Gretchen. Bad Gretchen. She was wrong. We all agree she was wrong for doing this and she blatantly lied. Her credibility is in the toilet. But then Tamara has been running with it and being like, this is what she's been doing to me for 12 years. How am I even supposed to forgive her? I can't even listen to her.

5:26I can't. What's this bullshit? It's a facade. She's presentational. You're the one who started all this at the beginning. like tamra started all of this 12 years ago did you get it back like you was the guy called me up late at night and said you were you were cheating on jeff with him like all the way back then tamra has been tormenting gretchen and then tamra now takes this little inch and now has been just using it and now she is going to she is going to triumph once once again yeah well gretchen fucking deserves it you know sometimes you just you don't really care which which gets hit by the house at some point it's just like they got one you know well i guess what i was you have to take what you can get i guess i guess i guess what i was saying is i was upset because i was gonna get all righteous about that and be like this is classic tamra i'm like yeah gretchen gretchen is has all sorts of issues with the truth but in this case tamra is bullshit and i'm a little bit more on team gretchen and then of course they come in with this last segment you're like well no i guess i'm not i guess i'm not team gretchen after all i forgot about that part well yeah i mean I already went off on Gretchen earlier this season about this stuff.

6:30And I too am shocked that they're bringing it on the show. Because I was going off thinking, oh, they would never bring this on the show. But I'm not going to be tricked into liking Gretchen after some of those hateful bullshit she has online. It's not so much liking Gretchen. It's more like I sort of do like a separation of church and state when it comes to watching the Housewives sometimes. Where it's like there's the bullshit, the problematic bullshit that they get into off camera. And then there's the bullshit they get into on camera. And I try to kind of just be like, this is just, I'm going to just like go with what the show is presenting to me as just like a viewer.

7:03I try, don't always succeed. But now it's like, oh, that bullshit off camera is on the show. So it's like, I can't really, you know, turn a blind eye. Yeah. I just get mad when it comes out, you know, because I'm different. I read a lot more of this crap online too. I'm a lot more obsessed with that stuff than you are in general. I'm just that kind of person. So I'm already, I've already been pissed. So I'm like, oh, my God, what are we watching last season? You know, because I've, like, calmed down a little bit because I've already gotten so pissed. So I'm like, what is this, a repeat? But no, it's not.

7:34It's fresh. So let's get in. And, you know, and it came at a time also where the show is really just struggling. I mean, at this point, they have nothing to fight about. They are trying. Emily and Gina are just working overtime trying to start fights every two seconds. They're so stupid. They're so misplaced. These two need to get a life, you know. And so the whole episode, I'm just so frustrated with Gina and Emily. Like, you guys are killing this show. Just relax and let things happen naturally. And if it's not a fight, then it'll be something else entertaining. But you don't have to try so hard.

8:05It's so fucking frustrating. And then, boom, you know, this is how that ends. So I guess that'll take us through to the rest of the season. So I don't know. I think it's a mix of a lot of things. It's, A, don't piss off Tamara because you know she's had that in her arsenal for a while. All of them have had this in their arsenal for a while. It's not like just a few people were reading it on Instagram. This has been all over the place for a long time. So, you know, I think it's a mixture of that. And the producers being like, we've got nothing. All right, bring it out. Bring out the tweets. Because they ran Katie off the show.

8:41They ran their central storyline off the show. And now they are just kind of like, they're just kind of like, they're trying to, they're treading water. or like, let's see if we can get, like, let's see if we can get a Shannon and Tamara feud to go. But that one really hasn't quite, it just hasn't taken off. I mean, Shannon is, I don't know what's going on with Shannon this season. She's like a little in her own box doing wacky things. And she's not really, she's not really popping. And it's just crazy because she had such a strong season last year. And she has such a strong season on Love Hotel coming into the season.

9:12And then this season happened and she's just sort of kind of flopping a bit, which is shocking for Shannon. And they just, yeah, they're not. I blame Emily and Gina. I think they kind of ruined the season. I find that to be easier. You know, the same thing happens on tax day. It's time to pay the taxes. I blame Emily and Gina. You know, it's time to get on the scale and see, you know, see what my sins are for the week. I blame Emily and Gina. I just blame Emily and Gina. Get a nail on my tire. It's Emily and Gina. I feel me. I feel me. I actually really do blame Emily for a lot of the downfall of this season.

9:44because I do think that she was really very, very focused on getting Katie out from the very beginning. She was problematically focused on it, I think. And then when she did, then there was a vacuum in the storyline. I mean, everything just kind of collapsed. And so I've enjoyed it. I've actually really enjoyed it even after Katie's been gone. But like, you can't deny that a lot of the momentum that was so compelling about the season kind of just like went away. And now we just have this. Now we have Emily and Gina. Okay, I know we got started. You keep on trying to start the podcast, and I keep on going into chit-chat about it.

10:20But let's start. Let's start the recap. Okay, here we go. Day two of Amsterdam. Time to put our makeup on. Shannon's room is a hellhole, of course. And it's just a wacky Shannon scene, you know, while she talks about how she was so high. Well, I don't know the level of highness, but I'm definitely still feeling the effects of space cake. And it's like, look at this. I don't know how to open a window anymore. Do I crank it? Do I push it by? Is there a button? Do I pull a rope? Do I talk to it in hispanol? Open down a window. So, Shannon, you were really, that hashish really affected you. Oh, no, that was fine.

11:01It was just all those carbs. It's just I don't really know what to do with myself. A lot's taken in one night. This is croissant high. And then she's trying to put on an iPad. She's like, do these go on my nose? I don't even remember where an iPad goes. I put them over my eyes. I can't see. I can't see. I put under iPads on my eyeballs. Boom. I just. Falling down. I just want to. I just. A house facade falls over her. She's like Buster Keaton now. Yeah. I will say that a lot of people are saying like, it's maybe time for Shannon to go. No, I think we've watched Shannon's arcs well enough to know that she usually has some tragically awful season and then she has her overcompensating.

11:48I'm actually a really fun lady season. And then she settles back into paranoia and tragedy. So I think next season she'll be fine. I want to see Shannon at the end of the world. OK, I want I want it to be like 50 years later and see Shannon, you know, in some decrepit home. I don't even care if she can't walk, speak, whatever. I just need her there. I need to see Shannon until the last breath. Okay. Yeah. I get so mad when people say it's time for Shannon to go. I'm like, how dare you? You don't even understand. Like, yes, she's sort of having a non compelling season, but this is a woman who gives and gives and gives.

12:25And when she, like, she's just trying to be a happy go lucky person this season. I'm telling you it will go away and she will go back to being a lunatic. It's going to be wonderful. Yeah. you just got to be patient it's like an orchid they look like they're dead but they just come back sometimes i keep telling myself that but yeah one of my friends stephanie texts me all the time and she's like i can't believe you are standing up for shannon i'm so sick of shannon she's how could you stick up for her she's crazy and i just write back yes she's a drunk yes she's a mess yes like yes you're you're exactly you know you're laying out why i love the woman okay yeah also i'm like i will never can't stop won't stop and i will never ever forgive bravo if they ever get rid of shannon before they get rid of emily and or gina like if that happens something is really wrong over that network okay because that that would be a travesty so you know this has nothing to do with anything and i'm sorry it won't take long everybody but i was watching the seminal film K-pop Demon Hunters yesterday or a couple days ago because I had to show my niece and my sister because I loved it.

13:38I just loved it. It's one of my favorite things of all times. Loved it. So I was showing it to them and of course they were totally blase. They were like whatever. Great. Thanks. I noticed that at the very end I was reading the credits because that's how much I love it. I was like reading the credits of K-pop Demon Hunters. Alex Baskin is a producer on K-pop Demon Hunters. that guy's everywhere wow he's set for life now i mean he was already set for life but now he's how wow wow does no he's already set for life he's a will there be a he's an actual baskin robbins kid you know that's true he is actually about like he's a nepo he's a yeah he's a delicious nepo baby what a what a 30 flavor 31 flavored nepo baby but yeah he's a producer of this show for those of you who don't know.

14:25But yeah, that was crazy. Okay, so... Is that Alex Baskin? K-pop demon hunters? What? Are you looking at her? Yeah, I just want... I know. You have to. There's actually a whole Reddit thread. I do have kind of delusional thinking where I'll, you know, I remember things incorrectly. It's important to Google me. I'm not offended. Oh, wait. Wait. Is it a different Alex Baskin? Well, you know, Reddit has all the answers. So there is a thread about this from a month ago. Oh my God, Ronnie, you're so late. Banner Pump and K-pop Demon Hunter connection? So a user says, so I was rewatching K-pop Demon Hunter for the millionth time.

15:04And when the credits rolled, I saw a familiar name. Alex Baskin is a production manager for that movie. Well, that's production manager. Oh, production manager. That's different. I just saw Alex Baskin. I didn't actually rewind it. Someone else saw it too. And it turns out there's two Alex Baskins. Yeah. Oh, sorry. Well, actually I'm glad you Googled it because you see, I would have next, you know, I would have maybe seen him in Bravo con and been like, Oh my God, your best work ever. K-pop demon hunters. Amazing. Um, I need to be like, that's not me, but thanks for dissing everything else I've ever done.

15:39Uh, yeah. Okay. Everybody false alarm. Let's go back to the regularly scheduled program. I was trying to come up with a pun for K-pop demon hunters that's somehow like related to like Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. I just couldn't do it. Kyle Richards. Trans like, trans hate tweet demon hunters. Here we are. We're back. That's us. So Emily, it's like wacky makeup session. And we go see what Emily and Gina are doing to get ready. And Gina's like, you have a Q-tab. You have a Q-tab. And I'm like, no, I won't give you a Q-tab. So, you know, they're earning their money as well. At least you got Shannon doing tricks over there, putting under iPads on her eyeballs.

16:17What are you two doing? Get your Q-tip comedy. Fuck out of here. So people are meeting in the lobby and complimenting each other and Gretchen tells Heather she looks pretty and Heather tells Gretchen she's pretty and she's like, Tulip Barbie. Jen, you look like Tulip Barbie because you look like a Barbie doll. You also look appropriate for visiting a tulip. I have never been to a tulip field Like, well, okay That was expository information, Alfredo, please Can we have a location? A location, anywhere you want Okay, mall, no, that doesn't work Grocery store, no, no, that doesn't work Bus station, no, thank you We're looking for tulip field Just say tulip field, thank you Okay, I have never been to a tulip field Thank you Thank you Grambling strain Alfredo, it's not as good when I have to do the badumcha Okay Stick with it I need to get that badumcha on my side too I'll send it to you It's very stressful trying to plan the badumcha With you You don't take my badumcha hits I like to add the badumcha in sort of like with bad timing too because I feel like that's probably what it would be like would be Alfredo like because Alfredo's also cleaning the windows and she's like get down from there but I'm to me okay but I'm to me so Shannon Shannon comes down barefoot and Heather's like why are we walking barefoot in foreign lands and Shannon has hurt her toe she's like my I stubbed my toe so my shoe is too tight And then I tried to wear the hotel phone as my shoe.

18:13And then I started ringing in the elevator. I feel like. Hey there, can you tell your man to do the thing? No, no, you have not trained for comedy. So therefore, you will just have to make your own jokes and make your own sound effects. I'm sorry. There are no badumchas for non-comedians. I'm sorry. Sorry, you have to be accepted into the groundlings in order to have a badumcha. Thank you. I was so excited not to travel with toddlers anymore. And then I met Shannon. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappens commercial.

18:56Okay, Alfredo, we're back. I appreciate that. Thank you. So she's brought mushrooms because, you know, she's still really groovy, Heather. guys. She's super cool and she has a sexy room with her husband in case you didn't know. Whole penthouse suite. Just have sexy time with Mama Elsa face Terry. And she also does like fun drugs. So she's got mushrooms guys. She's like Chachi BT says we need three to four grams each. And then at four grams, that is the amount of grams that you need to have a fun time. Because I am a fun mom. Fun Heather Dubrow is here. Remember my sleepover when we all had very distinct things that we had to do.

19:36And then we woke up and someone cooked us plain eggs. That was so fun, everyone. I am fun this season. What do you even ask ChatGPT? Like, how many shrooms does my mom need to feel cool?

19:50Yeah. ChatGPT would be like, great question. I love that. Most people recommend four grams, but really it's up to you. Four grams should work, plus a sexy room. and you know what else was her what else did i just say was her thing my sexy room my weed my weed my marriage one so oh in a gramblings class so shanna's like oh yeah what was your question how many grams of mushrooms do i need to make my mom feel cool make my mom feel cool um i'm just asking ai right now and ai says i'm supposed to use that you're gonna get in trouble okay well of course i want to help you cook something you already wasted the water so just tell me the answer i'd be happy to help you cook something with mushrooms for your mom that's that's actually like heather bro is doing ai right now oh you'd like to use mushrooms shall we make a risotto and gina's like oh heather is the mom heather's the the lady that my mom warned me about in high school and no one would suspect ah so Gina's super cool too so they take shrooms guys and Heather's like apparently when you take these shrooms colors are more vibrant so what better time to take them than seeing two of them you want to see a vibrant color look at my toe it's blue I think it's blue it's talking to me my toe is talking to me and it's saying ow ow wait what is that saying David it?

21:28Here lies Shannon Bedore's toe, killed by a sandal that looked a lot like that slut on the beach. So they get in two separate vans because it's housewives, so we gotta talk shit about each other in each van. And Jen and Shannon are in one talking about Shannon's boobs and how big they look. And Shannon's like, oh, it's called a falsely bra, I think. I think that's what it's called. A falsely bra. It hides the fat in your back. Can you see any fat in my back? I can't. So that's the important part. I love sphinx. I just, I wish I were even tighter. Let's sphinx till I die! Is it really called the fall sleeve bra?

22:08Fall sleeve bra? Something, I couldn't understand what it was, so I just phonetically wrote it down. Oh, okay. I was like, could you imagine the fall sleeve it's like, this bra is a false bra! Just like your boobs just come flying out. So Jen's like, I mean, What if you met a man? I mean, a man, and he wants to feel you and grabbed your ass and it's all smooshed in there. I mean, it's just not hot. I'm like, I guarantee the man's probably doesn't. At that point, the man doesn't care. He just wants to get it in. You know, he doesn't care what he feels back there. Man, I don't need Jen explaining to me like men not finding Spanx hot.

22:44Fuck off, Jen. Okay, don't make, don't make Tamra bring out your fatty photo again or whatever. How dare you? I don't like that someone had a fatty photo spread about them that wasn't even a fat photo and still says so many rude things. you know like i was disgusting then i don't like it you know yeah yeah have some grace ma 'am have some grace yeah some of us need the spanks okay i'm not apologizing to you i don't care if that guy fucking thinks it's hot he found it hot enough to get me naked in the first place now he's gonna suffer yeah so tamra and the other van tamra's like so last night we went to the bar and gretchen He's like such a downer.

23:22I'm like, have you met your husband? Have you had dinner with Eddie lately? Yeah, so then we see a clip of this offensive Gretchen moment, which Tamara is in the bar like trying to sexy dance for Shannon, you know, and like doing her squat twerk or whatever the hell she's trying to do. And Gretchen's just sitting at the bar smiling. Super offensive. Super offensive moment from Gretchen. Well, it is kind of annoying. It does suck when everyone's like having fun. And then there's one person who's like, I'm solid. and you're like, okay, get over it. But also by the time, one thing I have realized is that now that I'm in my 40s, now I'm deep in my 40s, I started to realize like when people do that, you just sort of zone them out.

24:01It's the fact that Tamara can't do that. I mean, Tamara's really trying here. She doesn't dare that bitch. So then - Yeah, but we're also older and our friends like squat twerking in the middle of hotel lobbies isn't like as hilarious as it used to be either. You know what I mean? I think I'm probably the person at the bar. Like, can I get another drink? I'm with that idiot. She was just probably thinking about what her next, you know, online sale will be, you know, her discount code. She's like, oh my God, I got extra crucifixes in this month. I better figure out how to move those while Tam is talking.

24:36I just don't understand why she'd want to sit at the bar. She creeps around you like there's never a confrontation or a conversation. I thought it would be spicy. you know, I feel like Emily is, Emily is just, she's just like the worst these days. I mean, she is, she really acts so friendly with Gretchen. And the moment she's with Tamara, she talks so much shit about Gretchen. And this is not me defending Gretchen. This is me just pointing out how fake Emily really is. Given that they all are kind of like a certain degree of fake and they all are, they talk shit about each other's backs, et cetera.

25:08Emily just sort of really goes and runs back information to to uh tamra all the time and it's just like she really is a jerk she's a jerk and i think that and i've said it a zillion times and i'll probably say it a zillion more the worst thing about those two is that they're just not good friends i feel like everybody else they have their moments yes where they hear something they go back and tell the other person like that's the nature of the show but they at least stick to sides you know and stand up for their friends until it all goes to shit or whatever. But these two don't even try. They just, they fake it to everybody's faces.

25:41And then they just try and like ruin their shit for fun every single episode. And they also blow their load way too quickly with it. But also hearing the information later in the episode that Emily and Gina are just so mortified and have this moral quandary over when they're even running back to Gretchen for this past three weeks, being so nice and all of that. It's like, it's just gross, you know? Yeah. See something, say something. Okay. Don't hide until it's like, you know, don't hide out and be nice until it's convenient for you because you'll have other people on your side. Mm hmm. Yeah, I totally agree.

26:17So, um, Emily's like this Gretchen and Tara carousel needs to stop. It borders on obsession. It's weird. Well, guess what? Last time I checked the person who pressed go on the carousel was you because everything was fine. And Gretchen said her thing. And then you went and ran and told Tamar about it. So you just let me know when you want to, you know, take responsibility for this. Well, Jenna was even having a good time. She was tipsy. She was dancing with me. And Gina's like, honestly, damn right. Jenna's whoever. Everyone tells her to be. That's just who Jenna is. She's like, well, we had a talk.

26:53So that's diddly diddly diddly diddly. Let's have a flashback to the talk I had with her. Where it was me and Jen. And we were talking about Lexus's wedding. And I said, no one should tell you who to be friends with dumb cats. So be friends with Lexus. Tamara saying that is so funny. Anyone on this show saying that, given that they pull that card all the time. Yeah. So Gina's like, but the thing is, like, Shannon saying she wasn't going to go into the wedding, like on her, like, she wasn't going to go to the wedding, like on her own. So I like, I don't see why now Jen is saying that Shannon asked her not to.

27:27you know like i i have a crazy perspective on this which is like don't understand it and also don't really care and it's none of your business who the fuck cares like why are you trying to like they're trying so hard to tear apart shannon and jen just to make get something going it's like why are you doing this like why like because i have nothing going on you know gina has travis's balls that's literally all she has and you know you're right gina the last episode was like so Jen, like, I mean, Shannon doesn't want you to go to the wedding. Did she say she doesn't want you to go? Why did Shannon tell you she doesn't want to go to the wedding?

28:04So, Shannon said that, right? Shannon said that. Yeah. So, Shannon said that, right? Yeah. And then, um... Yeah. Yeah. You know, Shannon said that, so you, like, want to be mad about her? Like, is that something you want to be mad about her for at all, Jen? Like, what do you want to do, Jen? Being friends with Shannon is only about her brothers. and I see a fan falling right into it. She's falling right into it. So, yeah, the van arrives to the tulip garden and Heather's like, wow, tulips, how beautiful. What a lovely birthday we're having for my child at the tulip farm. Okay.

28:47Can I get a word? A word, please. Pineapple. Okay, sure, let's go with that. oh my god i think i feel these mushrooms because right now i'm seeing flowers it's because we're at a tulip farm oh yeah okay but when you're walking through a flower field the possibilities are endless and so they walk around the fields and they're taking pictures and heather heather's supposedly high so she can't even get her head in the frame you just see like a corner of hair whenever she takes a selfie the post-production team has a lot of fun with this one they start doing all sorts of trippy things. They make a flower crying, and they make a weird tulip outline, matte situation, and they're like, oh, thank God we have something to do.

29:32We're so sick of making a transition from a surfer walking across the screen going from the beach to Gina's house. I'm so sick of making a transition with that guy dropping a basketball. I know. How many times can I make three bars appear across the screen, and one bar shows Emily cleaning a counter, One shows Tamara opening her fridge and one shows Shannon trying to face her daughter. And then all three bars go away and we wind up on Gretchen. How many times can I do that? I cannot use this dog on rollerblades anymore. Please give me something. Give me some good mushroom content in the tulip field, please.

30:07Anything. So we see the tulip crying and it's really a baby. There's a baby crying in the background. And she was like, why is that baby crying? This isn't a place to cry. Man up, baby. Man up. I feel like it's like a great place to cry, honestly. And then Shannon's like, because this is how life is. I go through all of this shit myself for years just to end up in a fucking field of allergies. I'd be crying if I was in this like beautiful, multicolored tulip paradise. And all of a sudden I see like Heather Dubrow, be like, welcome to the tulip. Like the witch of the tulip field has arrived. Baby, can I get a word?

30:48No, your baby doesn't know words yet. How am I supposed to groundling?

30:55So then there's like a horse statue. So Shannon's like, I'm going to be wacky. So I'm going to get on this horse. But Shannon, who has ridden horses her whole life, decides not to get on the horse in the normal way, which is to, you know, swing a leg up. But she instead like grabs it from below and straddles it and does that, like tries to be crazy. And then she gets up there and is like, oh god shannon really killing it when the car i have to get up here using the horse's penis hilarious wait it's not a penis it's an ipad uh so the she's like well it's a statue i can feel it's plaster it's not real it's not like a real penis a real horse isn't plaster and the producer tells her do you remember what that feels like she goes yes i remember what a penis feels like um i mean i i think i do i was is it sort of like the felt it's like felt it's like it's like touching a puppet like a muppet right no oh maybe i don't remember so jen and gretchen get on the buggy behind the horse and they're like whipping it and gretchen's like yeah do it horse do it and heather's like oh no look at them queens of quote unquote comedy.

32:11Am I right?

32:15Oh, thank you. Okay, I'll take that one. I'll take that one. I'll take it. Emily's like, it's the I hate Tambora Club. Giddy up. And so Emily's like, Shannon is clearly the president. Gretchen is the historian because if you need to bring something up from 15 years ago, she is your girl. But just don't put Jen in charge of finances. let's you know let's not take you as far as I can tell Emily you could be the historian too because you were the one who dug up all that information on Katie at the reunion so let's not historian shade people on this show Emily Simpson thank you Alfredo

33:00wow we were really the fun club over here and Gina's like oh my god you know what do you remember come on guys let's start a storyline because we don't got nothing okay Heather come over here come over here okay do you remember when Alexis' wedding was brought up and Jen said Shannon requested her not to go really yeah I talked to Jen about Alexis and I said you act like you're not friends with her yeah well I talked to Shannon about that what a coincidence right at the same time when we were at different restaurants And I said you act like you have all these boundaries But Jen still talks to Alexis Seems like a bullshit friendship Well I like Why can't she just say I'm friends with Alexis Like why is Shannon being so mean to her What does Shannon have on her Is Shannon blackmailing her Like why is Shannon so dangerous I feel like it's like not safe to be on the same cast with Shannon Should she even be on this show anymore I feel bad because I think she's in a bad state Oh my god I think she's actually dying I'm scared.

34:01And then this whole bridal shower thing. Like, I'm only here supporting Shannon. You know, when I thought my whole relationship was going to implode. And then this is what bugs me. You know, it's like, let's celebrate with Jen still with Ryan a year later. Like, where's my pizza party? I'm like, I know you're not going to try to steal the pizza party storyline. No one is going to celebrate you and Travis. I'm sorry. Okay. No, we're not going to celebrate your fake storyline of moving out on Travis. So you know the wife trying to take half of your money for child support or whatever the hell is going on.

34:36Yeah, you don't get up. You don't get a party for realizing you were being a dipshit for a year. Kicking out your kicking out your boyfriend. I mean, like you get parties for milestone things. Jen's getting married. Shannon's like, well, she's getting married. It's not going to be in the show. We should probably do something for her. And I like this girl. She's the only one not being mean to me right now. so I'll throw her a party why not I also have to do something on this season and there now Gina is basically trying to tear apart Shannon and Jan she's trying to kind of quote-unquote expose Shannon and and try to like rip them asunder all ultimately what we see here is because Gina didn't get a party and she wanted a party and this goes right back to it that Gina's an asshole like she's so shitty to her friends yeah and I don't even know that she really wants a party from Shannon I think she's just out to destroy for no reason.

35:26She's just bored. And her whole, like, I've been such a good friend to Shannon. When? When? When have you been such a good friend to Shannon? I count with this whole story. She's been so nice to Shannon. This is her version of being nice. Shannon, like, I'm your friend, and I just want to say here on TV that you might have a problem with alcohol. Like, everybody's worried about you. Are you drunk right now? Could you breathe into this? Breathe into this. Let's see if your car starts. Her whole thing is that, like, Like she was, she hated Shannon. Then Shannon got a DUI. And then she felt bad and felt like as a fellow DUI person that like, like she should help Shannon.

36:03And she was nice to Shannon and she supported Shannon. And that was all very nice and nice and good. And now she's like, now where's my party? Which then she's accusing Shannon of actually being very insincere and having ulterior motives with the way she moves socially. When actually Gina has kind of revealed that herself. And maybe she doesn't even want explicitly a party. I guess she's saying like, I was there for you, Shannon, but then you're not being nice to me the way you're being nice to Jen. But like, I don't know. I think Shannon probably sees you for who you are, Gina, Gina, which is someone who's like a jerk, like Emily.

36:34And yeah, she does literally want to party. Cause Emily goes, look, where's the Gino still with Travis party. She goes, yeah, yeah. You know, I'm like, this is more like my friendship with Shannon. Cause she like pushes me away. Cause I told, I hold her accountable and it irritates me. Cause like, I'm going to piss you off sometimes. because it's in your best interest. But like, I'm the one who's considered lower on the totem pole than her. And then like, Jen, that's not fair. That's not fair. So then why are you wanting a party from her? Okay, like then move on. So now we go to the cafeteria and Tamara is, they're all sitting at a table.

37:12Tamara's like, Heather, can you serve us? Because there's some sandwiches in there. Serve us. So Heather takes these platters. She serves Tamara and she's like, oh, this is too much. Where are the Alfredos? Okay, Alfredo, put down your drum. Give us the sandwiches. And she's like, why am I doing this? I'm too rich for this. So she stops. And Tamara's like, I'm the only one who got a sandwich. There's multiple issues that sent me. I did love that, like, Heather could really only, like, step into the role of the service industry for about 30 seconds before she had to put it all down. I can't. Who am I, Wendy Malick?

37:51well I'm glad we got to see them before they went away Gina's like ooh tulips you know the circle of life because tulips die oh yeah I was trying to count the people here and figure out who died I felt it watching Gina high is like giving a New Yorker 15 cups of coffee and winding them up and letting them go meanwhile Gina's just staring off into space with zero energy look at her look at all that energy Travis has big balls I want to know something Jen like the whole thing came out about like the Alexis wedding and like you said that you're like not going yeah for Shannon yeah the whole thing came up when you brought it up you mean she's like yeah that whole Alexis wedding thing just happened to come up again like naturally as if I'm not the one who's brought it up every single time.

38:47But yeah, it just came up. But then like someone else said that she asked you not to go. She didn't ask me not to go. Excuse me. No, no, she didn't ask me not to go. How dare you? I'm going to eat a lollipop. I'm going to eat a lollipop during this scene. I mean, I'm sorry. Why aren't you going? Why aren't you going then? Why does it matter? Why does it matter? But why does it matter? My turn. My turn. Why aren't you going? My turn. Okay. Well, I don't understand why. You haven't answered. Why are you going to this wedding then? I'm just trying to have a lollipop. I'm sorry, but he called these popsicle here.

39:23Okay. Well, you shouldn't not go to your friend's wedding. Well, I didn't tell her not to go. I did not tell you not to go. I did not tell you that. But she said she's still friends with her. How do you feel about that? Well, I do like Alexis. I told you that. Shannon's like, oh, oh, oh. I didn't know that. I thought you weren't her friend anymore. Did I know that? No. No. I, well, I'm just having 30 to 40 negative thoughts about Jen, Jen Petranti, because I thought you weren't friends with her anymore, which is why I threw you a party, because I thought you were better friends with me, and I thought you would enjoy that.

39:58And I thought that you were going to be my ally for the rest of the show ever, for the rest of the time. And I'm a little upset right now. But, Shannon, your issue with Lexis is your issue with Lexis. She hasn't done anything to me, nothing to me. I get that. I get that. But if you look at the things that she has done to me, they're pretty disgusting. I mean, we're talking about Earl of Pearl not eating a vegetable disgusting. It's pretty unforgivable. It's not easy for me to be friends with someone who is friends with someone that I know isn't very kind to me. Sorry, I'm not following that. Could you say that again?

40:31Okay, well, it's not easy for me to be friends with someone who's friends with someone who's friends with someone. Wait, did I add one too many friends? Now this person's friends with that person who's friends with that person. Why does everybody hate me? Everybody hates me. So are you saying that knowing I'm friends with Alexis dictates how you feel about me? Well, I mean, yeah, a little bit. That's really fucked up. That's really fucked up. Gina and Emily, why are you smiling so much right now? I'm really mad at Shannon. Yeah, everything is fucked up. Poor Jen. Look how that's at, that is Jen.

41:08and emily's like you got a dictator who's friends with her well i'm not even that close with her so i don't know what you guys are mad about well i think her impression i don't even know where she got this is that you have no relationship with her like i mean that's well that has been my my impression that has been my impression now i'm not a friend dictator but if the situations were reversed i would not be friends with someone who was mean to holly

41:34I'm sorry Which one is Holly again? I'm still pretty new to this group Holly, right? Oh, I'm Jen Oh, it's okay It's okay, Shannon Shannon's kind of wacky that way I think that like It's that you tiptoe around How you feel with her Like you couldn't even tell her You didn't even really want that shower You know what I mean?

42:05I was like you're such a dick Like why do you do that Like why that is so obnoxious Like that is so mean She's a horrible horrible person And Shannon's like You didn't want that shower But I yelled at somebody for Sending us the Jensen wedding stuff She didn't want that shower And she said if she wanted a shower, it had to specifically have blush glassware. And you didn't even have that. She thought that shower was ridiculous. I never said it was ridiculous. Come on. Uh-huh. You were talking when we were shopping at that little terrible place that could have been like a kiosk on a beach. But like with actually - Luxations!

42:47You said how ridiculous it was. So then we see, I think this is unseen footage, right? I don't remember this scene. I actually think we saw this. Yeah, we saw this. so jen's like you know i just love shannon so much but why is she having a bridal lunch yeah like why are we having a brunch for jen when we don't even know she's getting married so she didn't say it was ridiculous i think she was just saying this is sweet but it's kind of out of left field like what the hell it's like it's out of left field it's not something i would do but like and jen's like i mean why are you what are you doing right now i'm just being honest I'm being honest about this, Tom.

43:24But so am I. I mean, you know, if I sat there and I said that. No, because like you expect us all to take time out of our day to foster this fake friendship. That's the problem. That's the problem. Oh, my God. You expect us, the viewers, to sit here and watch you every week, week after week after week. That's our problem. This is, Gina is awful. They really, they're testing my last nerve today. I can't deal with this right now. And this is my thing. Like, if you're going to constantly make shit up for storylines and just blatantly lie, which is what she does all the time. It's not her first time doing it, or Emily.

44:00At least make them interesting storylines. I mean, you're trying to make a storyline out of someone not wanting a bridal shower and having a bridal shower forced on them. That's just weird. You know? You're trying to force this thing, like a fight with Alexis who's not even on the show again. It's weird. Like, come up with something better. they really are and by the way it still really bothers me you brought this up last week but it still bothers me that um you know they're sitting here saying how like oh my god you should never say who someone's allowed to be friends with that's wrong shannon's crazy for that when we really watched a whole thing of emily saying that if tamra met with katie that was that would affect their friendship like it's literally the same thing and it was only about two or three weeks ago that that happened and now they're getting all high and mighty about who shannon can and can not be mad at about these things so she's like well my friendship with jen is not fake you know um that is her name right jen sylvia sylvia my my friendship with sylvia is not fake and it hurts my feelings because i wanted i wanted it to be beautiful for shelly shelly um uh did i appreciate the bridal shower yes would i have picked that for myself no but sitting here at this point and pointing that out in front of all my friends is rude but by the way thank you so much for pointing it out it's nice to know that people care about me it's just rude i appreciate it now listen just for the record i did not have an issue with it would i have asked for anyone to plan that for me no i wouldn't oh so are you really the correct person to be doing this right now gina oh please like you haven't been planning this with gina and gina's like well look gina i'm like i love you home but like i had him back so hard last year and i had such a horrible time last year with travis when i left him so that he wouldn't have his income to claim on child support and he could still try to get child support from his rich ex-wife and then this year my family came back together and maybe that's something to celebrate with a party like i wouldn't have even minded if i didn't have blush glasses like jen went home really upset about it you don't get you don't you You don't get a party for patching things up with the person that you're dating.

46:16You just don't get that. There are no Hallmark cards that say, hey, congratulations on your decision to move back in with your boyfriend who you kicked out in the first place based on bad logic. You don't have that card. You have cards that say, congrats on your wedding. You have a wedding coming up. Weddings are milestones. having Travis move back in and like having, like that's not a, that's not a milestone. That's not. Having your big bald babysitter move back in doesn't, doesn't require a celebration. If you want to have a party, that's a party. And by the, by the way, the person who should throw that party is Emily, not Shannon.

46:55Yeah, exactly. Someone's like, oh, she wants a party. I don't want a party. I just want things to be based on genuine feelings, you know, but they are genuinely, feelings. I was super happy for Dolores. What was that? Oh, sorry. Different Dolores. I think the issue here is that we can see that this new friendship forging here, but it just doesn't seem very authentic. And you have a lack of communication. And then we see you just automatically roll with Shannon blindly. I mean, you want to talk about authenticity. And yet at the same time, you're going to be all buddy-buddy with Gretcher's and then go and bring everything back to Tamara.

47:33and you're going to complain about someone's inauthentic friendship. I don't think so. Yeah, I don't see how Jen is rolling with Shannon blindly. They're just hanging out a little bit here and there. It's weird. And then Heather hears the word. By the way, they share the common bond of dealing with Tamara's wrath. They have a common enemy and that has brought them together as friends. And I think that is a very valid basis for a friendship. There's no more natural of friendship, I see. So Heather's like, oh, I heard the word roll. Do you remember when Shannon said, don't roll on me? Remember? No, I remember when she was accused of it.

48:12You guys have this new friendship and you're always laughing and stuff. It's disgusting. Well, no, I love friends. But will you shut up and let me talk? But like she acts like your wingman and she's probably going to that wedding. I want to talk. Shut the fuck up. Yeah, she doesn't even like peeing. So I don't even know why you would give a peeing. She was very offended. Shut up. Shut up, Gina. Will someone not give her a gummy tonight? She won't stop talking. She won't stop. Gina, let's play the quiet game. Okay. I do this all the time with Alfredo. I say, okay, Alfredo, when I'm in the room and you're in the room, you have to play the quiet game.

48:49I get to talk to people that are not you also, obviously. Okay, and go. Well, I don't even know what to say now. I'm done. Well, sometimes you just need your best friend to tell you to shut the fuck up. So now they decide they're going to go to these hot tub things. And they're like hot tubs that are on water. They're like river hot tubs. They're the things that I'm sure people in Amsterdam hate. Like, oh God, there are the tourists again in those little hot tubs. It's like when you see the bachelorette parties on those bar bicycles. The bar bikes. I hear you're going to say that.

49:30happy happy bachelorette party jessica you see they're throwing her a birthday party they're throwing her a bachelor party and you're not mad at them so first they have to get there by going in separate vans let's talk some shit so they get in their vans and emily is in with jen and she's like whoa what do you think ryan's gonna think of your new Instagram that doesn't have him in it and then we see a conversation 30 minutes earlier where Gina's like oh my god when I open up Instagram like I don't even feel like I'm following you I feel like I'm following Ryan like you need to like have a separate Instagram from Ryan yeah I love uh Gina giving um social media modernization advice

50:22um someone's like yeah you you have this instagram it's worth money we don't want to just what we don't we just don't want you to be in the same position where you were before where you don't know what the money is because if you do do that then gina's gonna have to yell at you at a coffee shop again oh i didn't even think about it like that i mean gretchen you're the same way right gretchen like it's not all you it's not it's your instagram's not you and slade she goes no it's just me because like it's all full-blown business for me i know people make fun of it but i don't care and um yeah and so then we see a clip of heather and emily making fun of her oh wow look she's making content she's gonna sell that hat she's wearing don't forget to use gret Code Gretchen 20.

51:06Okay, Heather, who was trying to sell fucking masks during COVID for like 500 times what they were worth. I mean, Heather is the actual wrong person to be talking about monetizing things. Some of the things Heather has monetized have been disgusting. Like when her and Terry tried to monetize the Atkins diet and they tried to make it their own. Like Terry Dubrow diet. Guess what? We found a secret to youth. You only eat protein. Thank you. Thank you. Oh, Alfredo, I don't want to have to cue you again. Like, okay, from the top, they only, what was it? Only monitor, I've lost the thread. Broken, broken.

51:51Only monitor. No, I didn't get to it yet.

51:58If you get really good at it, you can make a lot of money doing it, too. I've always been a serial entrepreneur. I sell Frosted Flakes. I sell Cinnamon Toast Crunch. I got six businesses. Hopefully, that'll always be mailbox money. It's important to stand on your own without a man. Now, let me just call Slade to make sure I said that part right. Slade, I said the part about standing and doing business. Yeah, okay, good. and it's good to not be reliant on a man. That's it. Gretchen's so happy. I'm going to do whatever I can be to be like Gretchen. I'm just, you know, I'm going to do whatever I can to be financially independent.

52:46I'm going to become less of a Slade and more of a Gretchen. Basically, it's what she's saying. Hashtag goals. Hashtag goals. So, Gita is like, okay, welcome America to the other van. So, I mean, I support that. I'm glad that they're, like, happy. And I just, like, don't want to see my friend get lost. Because suddenly I care about Jen a lot. Like, it's really important for me. You know, I care a lot about Jen. Which is why when she had financial troubles and got behind on rent, I went and humiliated her in a restaurant. Like, so, in that respect, it's really important that I don't want to see her get lost.

53:25I just care so much about her.

53:33By the way, Shannon, I know that right now when we have that conversation, I made it sound like you had a fake relationship with John. Who? John. I'm sorry. Deborah. Oh, Deborah. Yeah. Well, I wasn't being fake. I really wanted her to feel special. And for you to say she didn't want me to do that, well, it really hurts my feelings that Belinda would say something like that. That really hurts. Well, that's what she was saying, that she didn't want it in the first place. Well, you heard it from Gina.

54:08I'm sorry I interrupted you. What'd you say? No, it's like, I love Tamra being like the truth teller. Like, Tamra who like manages to bastardize every piece of information that comes to her. I'm not gonna lie. It makes me feel stupid to know that that Francine did not appreciate that party. I threw for her, but I thought it was a nice time. Congratulations, you've reached the end of part one of a two-part recap. For part two, go look for the recap that says part two. See you over there, suckers. Watch what crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alison King. It's always a party on Alison Block.

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