#3061 RHOP S10E05 Part 1: Nevis and Buttheads

0:20Well, hello and welcome to Watch Your Crapins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker. Joining me today to talk about Real Housewives of Potomac. It's the one and only Ronnie Karam. Hi, Ronnie. Whoa. Hello, Ben. How are you today? I am. I'm feeling great. It's a Monday. Potomac was so funny last night. It's so good this season. So I'm feeling invigorated. Started off a fresh new week. I went to the farmer's market this morning. I got myself some vegetables to be healthy and lovely and wonderful. And I'm just excited. I'm excited to recap today. Tonight we have crappy hour.

0:58It's at 530 on the West Coast, 830 on the East Coast. And we'll be talking about all sorts of, you know, headlines and talk to you guys. That's going to be, you can find that on YouTube, on Instagram, on Patreon. And we hope you join us because we always have a really fun time. So that's this evening. And of course, speaking of Patreon, we have our beautiful Patreon. We are going to be doing for this week's bonus episode, a trailer trash for the new Vander pump rules trailer. It drops literally five minutes ago while we were sitting here, just shooting the shit. And, um, I can't wait. I can't wait.

1:32So we'll be doing that on our Patreon, patreon.com slash watch our crap ends. And then, you know, Ronnie, I think, you know, Bravo con is next week. Uh, I'm just going to say, Oh God, what is it? It's next week. No, it's not. No, it's not. We have two weeks. um let me look because next week am i wrong am i wrong yes um we have two weeks no it's next week right it's next week isn't it the 17th no it starts on the third starts on the third well i think bravo con starts on friday but we're gonna be going out there on on thursday but uh yeah wow bravo con is next week it's happening well and uh so we are still hammering out the details, but we are going to do a meetup.

2:18So keep an eye and an ear out for what that's going to be. We're just, we're figuring out stuff with venues and stuff like that and where we'll be. But we just want to let you all know we are going to do a Crappins meetup and we're very excited. We'll be doing some kind of hangout with you guys. Meet and greet. It's not money. It's free. Just hang out. We hope you guys can come if you're there. We're there to make our money off of you. It's just fun times to meet you guys and see you because BravoCon is a party and there's a lot of crappin's listeners that are going to be there so you know start it off right yeah we're just going to have a fun time and this will be my first BravoCon but from what I hear at night there's all sorts of these things that happen these parties that like you know no one gets it no one can get into right like that apparently it's like so and so has a party and like you have to be a certain Bravo Liberty to go to it and it's like fuck that we'll have a party.

3:12We'll have a party. Yeah, we're going to do our own. We'll have our own party and everyone can come and we'll just have a really fun time and we'll all party and get wasted and do fun things. So yeah, stay tuned for more details about that as we get them. Yeah, so we're going to be having fun over there. Hope you can join us and today is Real Housewives of Potomac Season 10, Episode 5, Sunshine and Sex. Sunshine and Sex. Well, they might as well I'll call it dinner plates and sex because my dinner plates remind me of sunshine.

3:46Remember Ramona said that as a throwback. He used to say that all the time. And Ramona was like, these plates, they're yellow. They remind me of sunshine.

3:56Yep. That's why we say sunshine. So you know what? Sunshine didn't need this. Did you see, I actually had this on crappy hour links, but let me pull it out. Cause this is so fucking funny to me. Did you see the Potomac contract that was finally released between Stacy and TJ? No. Did he finally release it? That's, you know what? You snooze, you lose. Supposedly. I am believing this. Everyone loves Stacy now. She has good will. Two seconds. Yeah. So this is on Reality Blurb. That's where we're getting this. And they got it from Bravo and Cocktails. You know, who knows? Everybody got it from somebody, okay?

4:38But it's just a paper. It looks like someone printed it at home in Helvetica. And it just says in caps all on the top, Real Housewives of Potomac contract. I, Stacey D. Rush, willingly entered this agreement with Thomas Anthony Jones Jr. as an equal partner and cast member of Bravo TV's Real Housewives of Potomac produced by Truly Original. I agree that Thomas Anthony Jones Jr. is entitled to 50 % of my total salary earned as compensation for my appearance for the 2024 season as a cast member and each season I appear as a cast member of Real Housewives of Potomac thereafter. This contract shall automatically renew each season and remain in effect until my employment as a cast member of Potomac ends or a mutually agreed time.

5:31signed May 5th, 2024, signed by supposedly both of these people. Now, her signature is not even the cursive. It's just... Signed 2024? The season had already aired. Yeah, 5-5-24. Be smart with your fake contract. How does that make sense? 5-5-24 would be... The season's over! The season already had filmed and it already aired at that point. Like, what sort of, like, come on, be better with your fit contract. At least, like, say 2023. You say February 2023 or, like, April. I mean, right? Am I crazy?

6:18Real Housewives of Potomac reunion 2024. Let's see when it was. Okay. The season eight reunion aired in 2024 and consisted of three parts. Yeah, so you're right. Yeah. Because remember, we were at Watch What Happens. It aired on March 31st. It aired on March 31st, 2024. So why would you sign a contract after and after he dissed you? Yeah. 100%. Are we vindicated in not believing this? That is the worst. That's crazy. Like, that's so sloppy. What a sloppy fake contract. Can you send me the link? I need to see this with my own eyes. I am, I, I am. Oh, I just closed it. Okay. I'll, I'll find it. I will, I will rummage around.

7:05Hold on. Let me, yeah, I'll pull it. I'll pull it up for you. Recently closed. Okay. Real house. It's actually, it's actually so sloppy that I'm like, maybe you read it wrong, Ronnie. I'm like, now I've got to double check your work, Ronnie, because I just. You've got to check, double check. Well, you know, you do have to double check me. And I, I freely admit that because I, um, do have like a crazy person brain, you know, but, um, here, let me get this. I think I found it. I know that we're wasting people's time. Okay. Yeah. I see you in the document. It literally said, okay. I didn't get it wrong.

7:36Yeah. I'm looking at it right now. It literally says five, five 24. It says, isn't Tyler. What? Like that. Why would she, after they had that fallout on the reunion that was filmed in January. In fact, we know it's filmed in January because when we're at watch what happens live and he was like, I got to show you, he was talking to us about the reunion. He's like, he's like, well we just filmed the reunion so like why it's now four months later why would like this that's so stupid it is so stupid and also why is she going to agree to give him money for every season she's on that's just ridiculous no that's that's the most and half yeah you give somebody half your income i mean i know first season people don't make that much money but still well Preston if I'm scrolling down here Preston who we we know and love from Summerhouse Martha's Vineyard says Preston Mitchum who just got married so congratulations to him he just married Donald Donald he says as an attorney even the looks of this PMO piss me off maybe from the randomly bolded RHOP contract at the top to the paragraph spacing to his signature not being there to him not being a cast member and therefore no contractual relationship with truly bravo NBCU even if they entered one it should be written very differently in three crying emojis um yeah

9:04it doesn't matter like no matter what is written the fact that this is the most damning thing is the fact that it's dated may 5th 2024 that's crazy that's idiotic i love stupid people so there you go. I look at this as a Stacey vindication. I will take it as a Stacey Rush vindication. You guys, don't you love camels? Let's take a look at this camel selling on the QVC. The QVC clips have been going around and they are just hilarious. They are hilarious. I mean, the best one really is her saying, talk about length, talk about drama, talk about stones, talk about comfort. So lightweight. Like, that's the best.

9:46And I do kind of have a feeling like people are trying to be like, wait, what about this one? What about this one? And they're all very funny. But honestly, none of them can top that one. That's just like the Supreme. With the camera tight on her face and her eyes are like flaring and her face is going from like smile to like fierce. It's so camp and so gay. Oh, it's great. Yeah. It's great stuff. So I consider this vindication, madame. Yeah. So congratulations. You've been vindicated by a cult of crappens. Yeah, absolutely. All right, so here we go. Real Housewives of Potomac, sunshine and tux, okay?

10:23So we are at dinner in Nevis, and Ashley has just revealed that Stacey has been trying to get with Chris Samuels, with the giant Chris Samuels. She's like, who told you that? Well, my friend is a publicist, and he works with a lot of athletes, and then Tatiana told me the night of my bloom ball that you had reached out to her to connect you with Chris Samuels. I adore Chris Samuels. He is a great man, a great father. We are good friends. Yeah, but like... And it's not his fault his golden goose was stolen. I would be upset too. And what a beautiful golden goose it is. Look at the contours on it.

11:03Have you ever wanted to make a wish? You can get it with a golden goose if you order right now. It's beautiful. Look at this breakfast. It's so golden. It's so fresh. It's so tasty. Ow, my tooth. Do not eat the golden eggs, guys. Do not eat the golden eggs. When Jesus met the three wise men, one of the gifts he did consider was a golden goose. And he chose not to. But now you can have that same golden goose if you order now. Could you imagine Jesus having a golden goose? He never would have had to fish. He would have changed the whole Bible. Talk about gold. Talk about oviod. oviod talk about omelets talk about fortune so much talk about the father talk about the son talk about the holy spirit talk about gold eggs am i right guys so she's like yeah i know i know him he's a great man what a great father and now she's like how do you know these things about him and she's like we are very very good friends i was just asking tatiana to hook me up with a very close friend who I've known for years.

12:12But how did that friendship come to be? Well, both of us have been, I've gone through a divorce. We both have a lot of friends in common and that's, that's what it is. By the way, Ashley asking, how did you become friends with Chris Samuels? What, like, what is shady about her ever becoming friends with Chris Samuels? Like, why is that any different from Giselle becoming friends with this other football player or like anyone knowing any football, like, I mean, did we not see like, what about Giselle dating Jason and Cameron, isn't that, that is also like a weird thing, and why is that not questioned, or was it not questioned, or any of the I don't think any of it's weird, I mean you're allowed to fuck whoever you want, I don't think it's weird if Stacy climbed on top of that volcano, and you know pounded it, I mean she's allowed to do that she was single, he's single she has no allegiance to Monique whatsoever and none of these ladies do either they were the ones who ran her out off the show and now they're acting like wow this is like a violation of girl code i know giselle over here is standing up for monique i'm sorry uh you're talking about monique shouldn't you get your bodyguard in the room to discuss her i know giselle giselle who probably still can't go into a staples because there are too many binders in there yeah well actually stood up for monique to be fair so um she's like yeah we've both been divorced and she's like well chris is telling people too girl it's not and she's like well I mean, if you were a guy, wouldn't you tell someone that I was trying to date them?

13:41I mean, are you kidding? Have you seen my QVC clips? And Angel's like, do you know how many people slipped into my DMings after I talked about that camel sweater? My DMings. So Angel's like, um, as a wag, I just want to say he's not like that. And Jassy's like, oh, so, you know, Chris Samuels. He's one of Bobby's mentors. Yeah. So he's like, he's like the, he's the wah. Actually, I'm sorry. He's the ag of the wag, you know, because he's the actual athlete. You know what I'm talking about. Wait, actually, no, none of the athletes are actually in there. Okay, whatever. I'm getting confused in my own acronym, but just so you know, I am a wag.

14:22And I'm a bigger rag than all of you. Okay. This was a real weird episode for Angel. I knew that Angel wasn't my favorite. Like, I just didn't think she really had the personality. You know, you can kind of tell right from the start. She didn't really pop. No. But, you know, you give everyone a chance, but she's kind of blowing it. Yeah, she's going to be a one-up done. She seems sad about blowing it, but she's not great. Never let someone who's not good on your show cast the other person on your show. Thank you. That's great. The fact that they're letting Kiarna bring people onto the show is just insane.

14:54It's like asking your employee who does the least. Like, do you know any friends? Do you know any friends who might want to pick up some shift? Person who's late 10 times this week and barely does anything while they're at work? Yeah, I agree. you know, first episode I was optimistic about Angel. I was like, I kind of like her. She's like, you know, she's spunky. And then she has like done worse and worse every episode to the point where now it's clear that she probably will just be a one season wonder. And yeah, this is why we can't, this is what happens when you let Kierna onto the show because she really was never been like a very good housewife.

15:31And now that she's trying harder, she's actually doing worse. so um but it is funny knowing like i love the fact that we all as an audience are like kiana's like not doing a good job right but i like that the cast members are also like kiana's not doing a good job like we're all in it together like what the hell with kiana yeah uh so here angel goes overstating something and then understating something which is kind of i'm learning one of her patterns so she's like oh yeah chris samuels is one of Bobby's mentors. Yeah. Huge deal. Mentor, mentor, big word guys. So then the producer asks her about it and she goes, yeah, we know Chris because one of the colleagues that was recruiting Bobby was Bama and that's where Chris was going at the time.

16:18So I think that he was kind of being a big brother to him, but that's the extent of it. No big deal. So we barely know him, but he's a brother and a mentor, but don't really know. You know, Angel, listen, listen, Waggy Poo. Okay. This is too much okay because okay she is every scene she's bragging about being a wag and i know that being a wag is something you brag about you brag about being a wag okay sure but she really is taking on this this idea that she's like an elder statesman you know and sure that's something that like charise that's kind of like charise's lane by the way and i think charise has earned it because she was like a wag to a coach, a basketball player who became a coach.

17:05And she went through like all the bullshit and then got spat out on the other end. And now she's older. Her kids are older. They're in college or maybe beyond. And I feel like Charisse is a great representative of a mid-Atlantic elder stateswoman of the wag community. But Angel's only 36. Also, what was great about Charisse is that she hated her husband. So it was like, I'm a wag who ended up getting all the money. So it was like a successful divorcee wag, which I think was more fun to watch. And I don't even know that it's the wag part of it that bothers me. I don't care who you're married to.

17:46I really don't want to hear about your husband all the time. And it's not only on Real Housewives. It's in real life too. I'm friends with you. I'm not friends with your fucking husband. I don't care what your husband did today. I don't care what your fucking husband's opinion is on anything. I don't want to talk about your husband. Like I'm not going to lunch with you. If all you're going to do is talk about your husband, I would hang out with that loser, but I'm not with him. I'm with you. So let's talk about you, you know? Yeah. It's, it's kind of sad. I don't like it. I don't know why I just only sort of like noticed, or maybe just like process that you have like an eye patch on right now.

18:17Oh, I'm just playing with it. Cause I was wearing the Leah black eye patch things earlier. Go get them. But I took them off before we started this, but I feel like this, I need some more. because I sleep on my face on this side. So this eye is real haggie. This one's a lot. Look how my sis eye looks. Yeah. Look how my sis eye looks and look how haggie this one is. I can't tell because you've got a patch on the haggie one. I'll take your word for it. I do think that like, I agree with you. Like, I don't want to hear about Bobby. I think it's actually funny. Like it's funny because she's so ridiculous about it because she's clearly insecure.

18:52So she feels like she has to sort of, she sort of has to like flex about this. I just think that like, she's acting like she's the first wag that's been on the show. And this is a show that like Sharice was on the first season. We had Jassy last season. There have been wags that have come through and there's wags all over the real housewives in general. I mean, even fricking Catherine, what's her face? Catherine Edwards was a wag to Donnie Edwards back in the day on, on Beverly Hills. Like the wags are everywhere. So like, you don't get like any like bonus cred for being the wag of a starter who like only recently wrapped up his NFL career.

19:26Like if you want to be like an elder wag, you have to at least turn 40 first and foremost. And then you also have to go through the post-wag bullshit of like the guy's done with his career and now he's having an existential crisis and your marriage is going to shit because he can't deal with the fact that his life plan is now like crumbled to ashes. That's when you become an elder stateswoman wag, but not now. Or the CMT or whatever. Yeah. Is it called CMT? Country, music, travel. ct ct it's not whatever that is the brain thing you know like you need some more history you did you need to be in the trenches a little bit more that's what we're saying but you also just have to you just have to be older yeah like you're the youngest one you're one of the youngest ones on this cast and you're trying to act like you are this mother hen to these young wags and it's just it just doesn't feel right yeah listen here baby wag baby wag baby waggy poo we're not buying it And we are kind of being haters.

20:21I don't hate her. I just, I would like to see her not brag about her husband's accomplishment so much and kind of, you know, come into her own. Which I think sometimes Housewives is really good for, you know. So maybe she will. I don't think she'll have the time, honestly. But we'll see. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappens commercial. show.

20:45So, uh, Wendy's just like the lobster is great. Wendy's just over there enjoying her food. So funny. This episode, I was like, damn, why'd you have to get into a fraud scandal? You're like really kind of like unlocking a sort of great version of yourself on the show. You're sort of, you're hitting your peak right now. Why did you do this to yourself? Wendy, aside from the fact that also, why'd you destroy your career and future? But you know, also why did you do that? Well, because it's only how it affects. us how could you do this to us and you know your children but us mainly yeah so uh ashley's like well stacy if you want to call giselle out why don't you talk about yourself and giselle's like well she didn't really call me out i mean i'm just out here in the streets and so she doesn't really have much to say she's just like well i'm back with my husband and wendy says okay she's back with the husband she ain't giving no chris chris no poon poon she's like okay listen ashley We're just getting into the Sean Springs of it all.

21:43And now you come put your cape on to be Captain Save-A-Ho for Giselle. So Giselle doesn't have to talk about her shit. And Wendy's like, Ashley, move out of the way. So Giselle asked Stacey, have you ever met Monika? And Wendy's like, oh, yeah. And Stacey goes, I haven't. But you all are friends with her, right? Yeah. And they're like, yeah, we are. She said, well, I haven't met her. Maybe one day I will. But I haven't. I mean, surely she's not going to, I don't know, return to this TV show. And we're queuing it up. right now yeah and stacy tells us you can't expose something that's not true i'm gonna live my best life in that nameless robe and have a great time so stacy's like yeah you guys want me to be somebody else so bad and you just can't accept who i am it's unbelievable i am who i am and who I am needs no excuses.

22:38You need a breath, man. Okay, I will take that. We'll take that in stride. So now dinner's done, and, you know, it's still another thing of, like, let's try and start a fight, and this was another fail. It was another audition fail. So a night full of audition fails wraps up, and now they go back to their rooms, but we're gonna have a little birthday thing for Wendy first. So they go over to Giselle's place, and Giselle's like, you forced us last year, to celebrate you every fucking day. So this year you get one day, one day, five minutes of one day. Yeah. Okay, well, okay, I'll get this one. So they're all laughing.

23:14And now she's like, hey, do you want to play a game, Wendy? They're like, oh my God, we're going to play a game. Which of course, like whenever we hear that phrase, who wants to play a game? It's like, you know, trauma starts to set in, but this was actually more or less okay. So, oh my God, it's gonna be fun. We're all going to hang out. We're going to play a game. We're going to party. and like, let's have the best time ever. Kierna, what do you think about that? I'm tired. So Kierna's tired. She's going to go to bed. So Giselle's like, you're not feeling it. She's in a bad mood with everybody, but did anything even happen with Kierna tonight?

23:46I think she had a - I forget. I think she may have had a dust up with Jassy, or is that later tonight? Oh, with the Jassy. But I don't - Yeah, they try to. But she's just, well, she was also like annoyed about earlier. I mean, Kierna's just like, you know, she's sulky. And Giselle's like, oh, well, if you want to go to sleep, you can. Good night. Bye. Bye. There's the door. There's the door to your bed. Get into it. Bye. Like not even an attempt. Yeah, I just can't with Kierna. Yeah, I can't. I can't with Kierna because she starts all the fights and then gets mad that she's in all these fights.

24:13Yeah. Like you started it. It's crazy. You know, it's like the cow being mad that it's milked again. Although I guess that's against the cow's will. You know, I'm like, you're the one producing all the milk. Why are you producing all this milk? And then mad when I want some for my coffee cow. cow but um the dairy farm i guess that's against the cow's will so that's a bad that's a bad analogy the dairy farm i went to uh back in may um they have this like technology now there's like milking technology that the cow when the cow wants to be milked it like steps into like a little stall and like a robo arm comes out it like senses the cow and its udder and it like can see where the udder is and it attaches on and milks the cow and then like the cow's like okay moving on and i saw what happened like the cat like it was a free will milking so just so you know there are some cows out there that have some autonomy honestly do they sell that for humans sounds like an amazing thing to have in your home yeah yeah i'm ready just you know do whatever you gotta do i'm filled with poison all right just do do whatever you gotta do hooray kierna explains um she says well I was so excited about this trip.

25:24And then I got, I got the windy issue, which is like, I got the windy issue, which is like an issue. And I got the Jassy trying to yell on my face. And my girlfriend is now a catfish. And like, I've seen enough. Um, okay. So just so you know, you started, um, two of those issues. Just, just so you know. So that's just, this is a reminder before you go to bed. And you also didn't go too crazy standing up for your catfish. That's what I was thinking. So I don't know what you're so tired about. She is like, she's so upset about her friend, them coming for her friend that she's just going to leave Angel there with everyone and just go go to sleep yeah but kiana should learn she wants a bunch of people to chase her off and be like how you're doing you know how are you doing but your your thing on this show is that you have diarrhea and no one cares and you're still that girl you know what i mean here we are like three vacations later or whatever three years later and you're still that girl yeah you've got diarrhea and nobody cares yep you're fired so ashley's game is that you either you're asked a question.

26:21Take this camouflage bag with you. Just kidding. Let's get her arrested. Give Kieran the camouflage bag and send her to the airport and call the police and warn them that she's on the way. So the game is, you're going to be asked a question and you either answer truthfully or you take a drink of tequila. And so they're all down for that. They start with Wendy. And the question, of course, Ashley is, have you ever been attracted to a woman sexually? And Stacey goes, oh my gosh, that's where we're starting. We're not even going to start with baby be Jesus on a camel? And Wendy goes, yeah, well, it was a stripper at the stadium nightclub in D.C.

26:55and she was so bad. She had braces. And I don't know why I thought that was so, I don't know, but she was gorgeous. Wow. A terrible stripper with braces in D.C. Well, listen, we've all got our kinks. Well, I do have a confession because the question you asked Wendy, I wish you had asked me because I've always had this crazy crush on Rachel Maddow. And they're like, uh, Ashley. That's not what anyone was expecting to hear. The look on Ashley's face. And this woman has slept with Michael Darby multiple times. Yeah. She's also, by the way, she's also now leaning into being a drag king. And yet she's still confounded by the fact that Rachel Maddow might be sexually attractive to someone.

27:41So she is like, yes, Rachel Maddow, one of the hottest women I've ever met. And I just, oh, I love it when she puts on her red and white striped sweater and gets lost in a crowd. I think you're talking about Waldo. Oh, him too. I like the name.

27:59No, I'm seeing somebody tangible, like you can call her up right now. Well, you didn't say that to Wendy and she said it was a stripper with a bad stripper with braces in DC. Why are you making different rules for different people, bam? You can't be in charge of this game anymore. I know. Like, why is Rachel Maddow like not? I mean, hello, Wendy, prior to scandal was like a commentator on MSNBC. They actually have a pretty good connection to Rachel Maddow. And they're also on NBC. It can happen. We can make it happen. But I also think that Ashley's basically just fishing for someone to say, remember that time that like we showed each other our vaginas in the, in the bathroom after like that, when we were partying that one time and that she just wants to relive that thing.

28:41And no one's giving it to her. In fact, if anything, Tia is like, part of me wonders, is Tia just shutting this down? She's like, okay, I mean, Rachel Maddow into the mix and just, We'll move on after that, I'm sure. I'm going to throw a real speed bump into this whole thing. And so, yeah, Ashley's like, it needs to be somewhat tangible. And Stacey goes, isn't she a lesbian? That was funny. Isn't the point of this that, like, who's a woman you're attracted to? That doesn't work if she's a lesbian. You're not supposed to pick a lesbian. But yeah, she's like, isn't she a lesbian? And Tia's like, well, she's just very witty.

29:16She can have my number. I'm joking. I'm joking. So Ashley's like, I choose Jazzy. Do you wholeheartedly believe that there's no infractions that are happening? And she's like, you mean cheating? And she goes, yeah, is Darius cheating on you? And she's like, no, currently no. Were there infractions in the past? Yes. Do I have one child that was created and delivered wrapped in a gift box? Possibly. did i just give birth to a new child that didn't come from me but arrived just randomly the other day yes but was it an infraction still not sure may have just jazzy's wording on the kids are so funny did i pay an extra 20 in a door dash tip to the person that brought the child who was created for us to my door i did so she's like well i just think that we're like a little like scratching your heads you know from the thing from last time do you want to get mad about it all the time but Like, whatever.

30:13I mean, if she can accept it and move on, then by golly, that's good enough for me. As evidenced by the fact that I just brought it up again. Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun. Ashley's really trying to hold auditions here and nobody's playing. You know, Tia's like, I'll bang Rachel Maddow. What do I care? You know, take it. And Jazzy's like, yeah, whatever. He's cheated. Who cares? When's Rich? Rich as hell. Wendy's like, okay, let me accelerate this along. Let me ask the question that's actually going to create conflict. angel this question is for angel a girl who I don't know angel if you could kill anyone in this group who would you kill and uh and he goes I'll answer I'll answer as a wag I can answer I've been to the trenches with Bobby and I can answer this okay in this moment the person who I would kill is Giselle and they're like whoa Giselle but why why but then they also kill the bitch kill that bitch kill that bitch Giselle, am I dead?

31:13I'm dead. Me, Giselle. Yeah, you're dead. Because I was so nice to you. And then you called my ass a catfish. And they all start cackling. She's like, and let me tell you, I'm that motherfucker. The end. She's all happy. She's actually now like all, she like stands up from the table because she realized that like she said something that actually caused people to laugh. So now she's acting like, yeah, that's right, everyone. The new queen of Potomac is here. and by the way Giselle you have a different face in your photo you cannot be sensitive about that you got called out because you did too much with your filters you did you went too far and on this show they're not going to let you get away with that although Giselle does kind of look like anime in some of her Instagram photos I saw a couple that people were posting her face is her face though it's an anime version of her face but like Angel's face was a totally different face I'm sorry I don't know Don't throw filters when you live in a Vaseline house is all I'm saying.

32:11Okay. Because a lot of filters going on. But yeah, yeah, I can see what you're saying. I can see what you're saying. So then Wendy's like, yeah, come to the dark side, Angel. And Giselle's like, well, at least she's not dead. At least we know she has a pulse. And Wendy's like, oh, don't you think it's so interesting how once Keanu left, Angel seemed to rise like a phoenix from the ashes. This Angel was cool. This Angel was cool. And now they get to work wedging the two of those friends apart. So Stacy's like, whoa. She's like, Angel, I don't know what happened. Was it maybe the killer bee? Whoa.

32:48He was like, no, that's just killer me. I was also thinking of saying killer wag, but killer me rhymed better. So that one.

33:00Yeah, that's just killer me. Okay, let's quit while we're ahead over there. So Giselle's like, well, ladies, we have a long day tomorrow. Oh, Ashley was unable to start any fights. So let's go to bed. So she kicks him out. And Tia's like, let me go call Rachel Meadows.

33:17So Angel hugs everyone. Everyone's giving hugs Angel. They're like, yay. We're like, okay, now we see why you're on this show. Welcome. We finally see the real you. We can welcome you into the sorority. Come on in. It only took five episodes, but Angel had a decent five minutes. Everybody, cheers. Everybody grab a soda Great game Grab a soda out of the chest on your way home Okay So they all walk by High five each other like the end of a soccer game So it's the next day And we're in like The center of festivities And fun and joy On all of Nevis It's Kierna and Angel's Villa And they're sitting there Having some cocktails Cheersing And Kiernan is toasting to today being a much better day And Angel's like Yeah, it doesn't really feel like it I'm really disappointed in Giselle And Kiernan's like Yeah, I mean, here's the thing Like, you have to like two beautiful children You're here You're still breastfeeding while you're even here And like, you know what I mean?

34:20And like, that's like an incredible insult To like make fun of your face like that Yeah, so Giselle comes And Kiernan's like We were just discussing you And she's like, okay, okay, okay And she's like, and not in the best way and I don't want you to not know because and she's like okay okay you can go now you can leave now goodbye I'm not here to waste time with you so um Angel gets a paper towel and starts immediately crying and Giselle is actually really surprised and I think she's like genuinely surprised here she's like oh wait wait you're crying oh no no no and Giselle's like oh my god no I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry like Giselle has that thing of like I don't know maybe some people will think this is fake because Angel thinks it's fake but I felt like Giselle was like, oh shit, okay, maybe like, okay, something's wrong.

35:07Let me tend to this. Went too far or something. It seemed like she was generally like, no, no, no, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I didn't want to hurt you. Just being like, I think she's basically saying, I was just being shady, I thought you'd be down with it because you got cast on the show, but you're more sensitive than I realized. Okay, sorry, I apologize, I apologize. And she's like, by no means do I want to hurt you. and Angel's saying, you know, I'm disappointed because I look at you kind of like a big sister. Okay, okay. You don't know her that well. Why would you look at Giselle as a big sister?

35:41I wouldn't. Well, you know, a big sister that maybe pushes you down the stairs and stuff because she's probably scary. But she's like, and then, you know, my experience was just, it's just fucked and it's not something I expected and especially not from you being a mother. We all know that people who are mothers are morally above everybody else in the world. We know it. Yeah. Being a mother. As a mother. How could Giselle as a mother do something so cruel to a younger person? I'm like, do you know the first rule of mothers? Rule with a reign of terror. But I was just reading about Marlene Dietrich last night because her daughter died.

36:22And I had no idea that Marlene Dietrich was the biggest monster of the 20th century. Oh my God. She like refused. What'd she do so bad? It is actually astounding. She would not let her daughter go to school because she wanted her daughter to be her handmaiden. And so like the daughter was, and she also did not like, she didn't like English. She thought it was an ugly language. So she didn't want her daughter to like learn English. So her daughter would like, was raised on the set being like her mother's assistant. and the daughter thought her full name for several years was Maria, like daughter of Marlena Dietrich.

37:08Like she didn't know she even had a last name. She thought her last name was like daughter and assistant to Marlena Dietrich or something like that. She was, I mean, she had like no friends. She was not allowed to have friends. I mean, it goes on and on. the obit for her that was in the New York Times is astounding. And I guess she wrote a big novel about this experience in the 90s about what a monster Marlena Dietrich was. And it is wild. So that's why when Angel's like, as a mother I would expect more from you. It's like, some mothers are not going to be so nice. Okay? You might have Marlena.

37:44This may be a Marlena Dietrich situation. Oh God. So now we're against chores.

37:52I mean, RIP complain to Jane. No, I'm just kidding. Yeah, that's crazy. I didn't know. All I know about Marlene Dietrich is that she said, I've ought to be alone. That's actually Greta Garbo. Because I thought that too, but it's actually Greta Garbo. I don't know shit about Marlene Dietrich then. Yeah, it's wild. It's like the stories. She's basically, she would make a great real housewife. She basically would steal her daughter's thunder all the time, constantly calling her up, constantly making her do crazy things. and she had, she would always, I mean, she was just like having sex with men every single night and like the daughter would just have to like deal with all these guys coming in the house.

38:31It's wild. It's great. Well, God forbid your mother has a life. Okay. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappens commercial.

38:46So, Giselle, so she basically puts it to Giselle and I thought this was a good way to put it she's like you know I give myself to my children and you know I was a red carpet host before children and part of my currency was my appearance and so to you you making fun of my appearance that was very mean and she's like oh oh oh whoa whoa whoa whoa I I get it because I remember being in your shoes just having kids back to back all of that and I remember it like it was yesterday and I get it I get it and I would show up to everything thing that those kids did with my normal face that you see here. And whenever I was in a picture with them, maybe I was crying on the inside, but on the outside, I had this face that you see right here.

39:30So I get it. I was just asking you questions because you are a beautiful woman and I wasn't seeing that beautiful woman that I'm looking at. Okay, Giselle, now this is bullshit. You were not trying to uncork her beauty. You were being messy. You were like, you put a different fit. You were trying to call her out for bullshit for her bullshit you were not trying to empower her beauty yeah she was being a dick and uh so she's like you know um i just think you're so gorgeous i was trying to help you because i don't see that on social media i see somebody else so again i apologize and you're looking at me sideways like fuck you ho i get it but i am sorry and she's like well thanks for apologizing i'm glad you came here and apologize and she goes can i give you a hug and she's like no i'm okay right now we didn't give hugs on the red carpet so i'm not giving them to you now please leave my villa please this instagram nonsense has put me into bed i will not take off my sunglasses i will not recover from this just sounds like okay but i am very sorry Please just go.

40:38I've been told I look like a filter. Okay. All right. All right. Reel it in a little. Angel's like, this conversation is so shallow and unnecessary. And at the end of the day, you get no filters for nothing. How I look doesn't affect anybody but me. And my husband likes it. So that's all that matters. And I have a husband. I'm like, okay. Okay. Yeah. Let's. Oh, yeah. We know. You talk about it every two seconds, and I'm glad that that gives you something to fight with. I'm glad you can wield your husband as a weapon filter. Okay? Yeah. So Giselle's like, well, do you want to walk over to breakfast?

41:16And she's like, I need a second. I'm like, oh, big mistake. You're letting Giselle get there first to control the narrative, Angel. Come on now. Be smarter. Yeah. Amateur. So Giselle's like, okay, yeah, I'm not going to hug you. Okay, well, maybe I will hug you, but I'll tap your arms up. I'll tap your arms up. and uh she just i was like listen you can't accuse me of body shaming her because the picture i was referring to was just her face okay so face shaming it's much better you can't get me on this one guys she's like you know like save your tweets save your tweets bitches one minute the girl wants to hug me and the next minute she doesn't and like just give me the same energy yeah and because we see also right because she is right that last night yeah we see last night and um they made up you know she called her out for the catfish comment they made up they hugged they had a great time everyone's like we love you angel and they wake up and angel's like now i'm really mad i have time to think about it and now i'm really upset about it yeah honestly angel like no it's expired it's expired it's done and it's expired and you're giving way too much energy to the and and you're the one who did the crazy filters on your face sorry you did so giselle leaves and then angel's like oh these bitches they all go to the pool and giselle joins the ladies she's like I'm Captain Save the Hose, so we're going to save the whole day.

42:35First, I'm going to feed y 'all, and then we're going on excursions. But Ashley declares that she wants to talk with Kay for a minute. She's going to have a scene with Kay off to the side. So it's kind of funny. You're like watching them be like, okay, I'll do a scene with you, and we're going to do a scene over here. You guys talk over there, and we'll talk about you over here. Okay, have fun. Fight later. Yeah. Ashley's like, okay, I'm going to try and help you again by giving you another scene to shine. Okay, are you ready? Let's talk about Angel. Angel was so upset. And Giselle says she went over and talked to her and stuff.

43:08And Stacey's like, whoa, can you guys tell us what you were talking about? What happened? Were you talking about earrings and how they're better when they're long and dangly and that everybody loves them like that? How can you not? Am I right? So long. So shiny. So swingy. So dangly. Well, okay. Well, why don't y 'all? Okay. So I'm so she basically when he joins and now we cut over to Ashley and Kierna before Giselle can tell everyone about what happened. And Ashley, you look really good. OK, your body's bad. OK, I do what I can. OK, let's say my intent. OK, so how are you, babe? Well, I'm not going to lie.

43:50I was like very upset yesterday with Angel, like making insensitive jokes is like not getting to know each other. And that's why I did not want to reengage for the after party. You know what I mean? So you're upset with how they treated Angel. So your response was to just abandon Angel? I don't understand that at all. To leave Angel alone with the vultures. Yeah, great move. And now she's like, okay, that's fair, babe. That's fair. Yeah, and you know the Wendy of it all, too. I mean, it bothers me. We're having this disconnect. And then, you know, to have Jazzy add to the disconnect. You're having a disconnect because you accused Wendy of being a bad friend for no reason.

44:23For not waving to you from a stage. I know. That's why you're having the disconnect. because we're coming from and then you're having another disconnect because you're accusing Wendy of trying to steal your Preakness party and all of this other shit you are starting to disconnect you are disconnecting yeah and then don't forget there was Wendy who said oh did you do your own makeup and then there's also Wendy um who uh didn't acknowledge Kirna's presence quickly enough when Kirna sat down in the middle of Wendy's conversation with Giselle like all these things Kirna has basically gone into her head about and then the Jassy thing I barely even to remember what the Jassy thing was, but I just know that when Jassy showed up, Kierna was giving her stink eye at the Preakness.

45:02So, like, these are all kind of on Kierna's side, and then she's acting like she's, you know, on the receiving end of a whole bunch of bullshit that she started. So then the other group, Tia's like, so is ages going to come for breakfast with us? Because if she doesn't, I may go back to my room because there's some sort of Rachel Maddow appearance on today's show this morning. She's like, no, she's going to come, but a little bit later. and stacy's like well i i just thought it was rude that we were all celebrating wendy and k wasn't there wasn't that a terrible thing wasn't that so rude right when did you want to get upset about that i'll start the ball rolling on that one well what i'm realizing is k continues to show herself to have not have really ever been my friend her slip is showing her slip is showing So now Angel comes over and Kierna calls her her Sour Patch Kid.

45:55And then they go back with the other girls. So Ashley's asking Angel how she is and Angel's still moping. She's like, I'm fine. I'm fine. I've had a very, very serious discussion about Facebook filters today. And Kierna's like, well, Giselle did say that she apologized. She goes, she did. And I appreciate the apology and I'll leave it at that. oh for christ's sake ladies real housewives if this is gonna crumble you just go home yeah and i'll leave it at that as if like it was a really deep and difficult conversation that we're not gonna reopen like okay like i'm sorry you're being way too dramatic about this stupid fight and so ashley's like and you checked in with everybody today because you know you have to do that after you have a fight you know to make sure that you're good with everyone otherwise they'll talk about you and she's like well bobby was ready to hop on a jet let me tell you he was going to charter one because he doesn't play about me and we flash back to bobby being like um jazelle's almost six years old and she's talking about this i was like photoshop yeah let's dive into some pictures of her past like she's like yeah like that's fine that's a perfectly fine i wouldn't because she looks like a supermodel in every single one so i wouldn't do that maybe holy whores you know like scandals or something like that although he's doing really well he just he just said, he just gave, I don't know if he gave back or he got rid of something.

47:22There were like a million dollars in donations to the church. And he's like, don't give these to us. Give these to the people who need their SNAP benefits. Good for Jamal. So was nice. He's getting a lot of good, he's doing a lot of good things these days. So we come back to the present and Giselle's like, well, I sat down with Angel and she just, the tears, the tears were rolling down her face. They were rolling down her face. And she's like, but guys, I still need to catch up here because she took charge and sent it around. And I thought we had nipped this in the bird. Someone, please keep up.

47:57Can someone please tell Angel over there to keep up? I really like saying that to people. Yeah. And she's like, I don't understand how we haven't moved on and what is staying in it. And Wendy's like, well, it seems like there's a persistent dark cloud with the same two people. I just don't feel like it's our job to continuously coddle people. And Giselle's like, no, it's not. And Wendy's like, yeah, because we're here to have a good time. Okay. But then Wendy's going to immediately start shit too. So they are like all these people mad all the time. And then Wendy's like, so Kierna, like in the next scene.

48:31Well, being mad is different than being sulky in a dark cloud. I think on this show, like mad is fine. That's like just part of like the love language on Real Housewives. But if someone's like moping and being like, why me? and they're like, they're making bad television, that's when they get really insulted. Well, that's true. Yeah. Okay. Good point. So she says, you know, she hopes that Angel can turn it around because right now it's giving the sad sisters duo. And it is because they are both moping around. They're both being huge victims about everything. And it's, you know. At post-production.

49:05Dishrag. It's total dishrag. It's like the worst dishrag. It's like, because, you know, we all have different dishrags and there's always one that's like the worst and she's like the worst. And you know what ones are the worst and I'm so sick of these fucking dish rags? The water resistant dish rags. Why would you make those? I don't understand them. Why would you make those? They're just a quality of dish. I'm sure you've had them. They don't really sop up any water. They just move everything around. Those are more like, they make me crazy. It's actually hard to get a, what is that? It's like cheap tourist shit where it's really just kind of like a fun image but there's actually no ply so it can't actually absorb the water.

49:44Yeah. Oh, I hate them. And I always buy them on accident because they're so cute. That's like all the cute towels are like that. That's like - Whatever happened to cotton? Let me tell you something. If someone gives you a tea towel that says something like, I don't know, like a pun about the kitchen. Like what's the one with the brie? Like brie, have a, life is a breeze as like spelled brie, but with a Z or something like that. It's not going to soak. it's not going to stop up anything. You don't need, if there's a slogan on your, on your dish towel, it's not going to do shit. You need it to be a very simple pattern.

50:19Then you know, it's going to like do the, it's going to do the work. Like those red and white Williams Sonoma ones are, those are, those are major. There's a reason why they show up on below deck. And believe me, I try them because they're mage. Yeah. My niece always gets me dish towels. Like that's her thing. One of my nieces always gets me one. And they're like, it's my kitchen, bitch. And like, I'm trying to think of another one. She gets me like a lot of sassy gay, you know, sassy gay dish towels. And so I have to always put them out when I have people over and people are like, what are these dish towels?

50:52It's like, I like butts. I like guy butts. Like, okay, we can calm down on the gay pride, the gay pride dish towels. Don't need those. But I want to say what's so funny is post-production is so shady to Kierna because literally every scene, this entire episode, when all the women are having fun, And they keep on cutting to Kierna with like a shitty look on her face. Like, yeah, they are really emphasizing that she is a dark cloud. And it's, it's, it's hilarious. I love when post-production adds just subtle little nods that are not, they're not highlighted. They don't spend a lot of time and they just flash by, but it's like, we see you post department and we know what you're doing.

51:29And it's great. Congratulations. You've reached the end of part one of a two part recap for part two. Go look for the recap that says part two. See you over there, suckers. Watch what crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alison King. It's always a party on Alison Block. Our way is the Amber way. It's the Foster and the Furious. It's Amanda Foster. It's always automatic with Ashley Otto. Put your hands together for Carly Clapp. Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniela. Itch-o's. We never miss her call, it's Diane Call.

52:08Erin McNicholas, she don't miss no trick-a-less. Hava Nagila Weber. You'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones. I go, you go, we all go for Hugo. Jamie, she has no last name-y. She's our kind of mess, it's Jennifer Messer. Sips some scotch with Jessica Trotch. She's our favorite streamer, Caroline Peacock. Kristen the Piston Anderson. Get a bee in your bonnet with Lacey B. Kay, sirrah, sirrah, whatever we'll be, we'll Lauren Sillsby. She gets an A from us, it's Lindsay D Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McHenry We love her on the rocks, it's Melissa Cox Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the Berg This is Livin' with Michelle Vivian I love a ya, Olivia Williamson She sure is swell, it's Raquel Yes we canna, it's Sadana Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman Let's share with Sharon Eldridge Darn Skippy, it's Tippi.

53:06And our super premium sponsors. She's VVIP, it's Amanda V. Can't lose when you're with Amy Baldwin. Somebody get us 10 cc's of Betsy MD. We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. Let's get real with Caitlin O 'Neill. Put us on a stretcher, it's Charlotte Fletcher. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily Sides. Who, what, why, where, and Gwen Pentland. Let's go into the woods with Guy Tubbs It's our queen, it's Queen La 'ifah Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall Hail the cork master, the master of the cork, Jennifer Corcoran We got our wish, it's Jen Plish She's not harsh, she's Jill Hirsch My favorite Murdo, Karen McMurdo She's a total knockout, it's Katie Manon We love him madly, it's Kyle Podshadley In the study, with a candlestick, it's Leslie Peacock G, it's Lisa H We're ride or die for Lisa Ryder Baron.

54:03She's a whiz, it's Liz Sarthy. Always killin' it, it's Lo Alkalani. The Incredible Edible Matthew Sisters. She eases our woes, it's Melissa St. Rose. There's a chance of meatballs, it's Rebecca Cloud. Maximum love for Sandy Maximoska. She's the Queen Bee, it's Sarah Lemke. We cannot tell a lie, it's Sarah Tell of Sun. Shannon, out of a cannon, Anthony. Please don't stop, it's Soli and Pop. Let's take off with Tamela Plain. We're obsessed all with Tessa V. She ain't no shrinking Violet Kuchar. We love you guys.