#3063 Below Deck Med S10E06 Part 1: Vegan for Vendetta

0:21Hello and welcome to Watch What Crappin's, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today is the irascible and hilarious Ronnie Karam. Hi, Ronnie. How's it going? The harassable? No, irascible. What's that mean? It's like irascible. It's like you're, how do you describe it? Like irascible is like you're - Are you looking it up? I saw your computer flash. I am looking it up now because now I'm afraid, put on the spot, that I'm going to give the wrong definition. Having or showing a tendency to be easily angered. But it's like usually in a funny context.

1:00Like, I'm mad, you know? Okay, I see where we're at today. Irassable is like usually a fun... You made it sound so lovely. Then you're like, okay, let me look up the definition. Angry bitch, that's what it means. This angry gay bitch, Ronnie Karam, everybody. No, you know, like they usually will say it for certain comedians. It's correct, though. Like the irassable, like George Carlin. I'm kicking a true adjective out of bed. I love a true adjective. Well, hi, everybody. Hi, Ben. How you doing today? We're both kind of an earth-tony, flesh-colored tones. Are you in gray or like a cream? I can't tell.

1:37I'm in gray, but what you can't see is I'm also in a Wawa t-shirt. Oh, hey, yes. Some of the best TikTok fights happen in a Wawa, babe. That's correct. I'm in a Wawa fight. Well, we're going to go from the Wawa to the Med Med because it's Below Deck Med Day. Before we get into that, thanks to everyone who came to Crappy Hour last night. It was a real fun one as usual. So thanks to everyone who tuned in. We do that every other week. So join us. And then we alternate that with Amazon Live, which will be coming up next week or doing something live on Mondays. We're also really excited. Yeah. Next week is BravoCon and we're going and we're going to have a meetup.

2:16So come meet up with us. Do we have a location? Sure don't. Do we have an idea? Sure don't. If anyone has a location in Vegas on the strip, you want to give us for a meetup we're in, let's do it. We've been trying, we've been trying to set something up and we have, we do have like, we have a team that is trying to get stuff going, but guess what? It's not easy. So, um, we might just be meeting outside of a hotel and being like, Hey, party in the party in the grand Lux hotel, grand Lux cafe, everyone. Who knows where it's going to be. It's a typical crap in's event for sure. Yeah, like tentatively, we are aiming for Saturday at 10 o 'clock.

2:58But that's subject to change. It may go to Friday. But right now, we're aiming for Saturday at 10. So mark your BravoCon calendars. Yeah, we'll announce it on Instagram or something. So just check our socials. Welcome to the show, everybody. Oh, also, Sunday night, guess what? They're switching it up on Bravo. They are going to have Potomac, but they are also going to show the last episode of Wife Swap. So it's going to be a little bit different schedule this coming week. So everybody be prepared. Don't miss Wiveswap. It's the Wendy episode. It's so funny because, you know, Wiveswap premieres and the Wendy's news breaks.

3:34They have to push the premiere. You know, the idea, the sensibility is like, oh, well, it's sort of in poor taste to air this Wendy episode, which was supposed to be the premiere. It's a little bit in poor taste to just exploit this situation. She just got arrested. It's like, wow, Bravo is going to be a little respectful. Hey, guess what? Now we're going to put it right after Potomac so that everyone who watches Potomac can see Wendy's dad. I'm like, they're totally exploiting it. Totally getting as much Wendy mileage as they can by putting it right after Potomac. Well, yeah. I mean, they should have done it the first week.

4:07Now it's not the time to get moralistic, Bravo. You haven't done it yet. Why start now? Okay. Get out of here. Show it to me when I need it. I need it in my veins that week. Well, tonight will be the one that I think we're all looking forward to the most I mean, everyone, who's having a viewing party to see the Emily Simpson wife swap? Okay, raise your hand Raise your hand if you invited the neighborhood to gather around to watch Emily Simpson Because I know that's going to be exciting for everyone I watched it already Was it good? Yeah, the pig is the star There's a pig in this one, and it's the star And Emily's like, why is the pig always eating my purse?

4:42Because you carry sandwiches in there Why do you think? It's one of those where you just... The pig's linking stores to social media. I've had it. It's putting my family in a bad position. The pig is talking to people about my children. Yeah, it was pretty good. Okay, but today, guess what we're here for? Below Deck Mediterranean. Right? Below Deck Med. Big day. Huge day. People get really upset because they don't have enough minerals on their plates. Mineral. So Josh has just, he's just stormed off the boat, which is funny because this episode is called The Tempest. Talk about a tempest in a teapot.

5:30More like a tempest on a boat. Then the tempest goes off the boat for a little bit, then comes back and it's just a gentle cloud. So that's what Josh is doing. He's storming off. He's storming off because he's seeming mad. about the vegan situation yeah he's super mad about it we all knew he was crazy when he was like oh i meditate and i was at an ashram and i love using human feces to grow vegetables i was like you're a serial killer and he's a clown and he's a clown that travels with clown makeup to do chef work i mean that's an insane person never trust him and a thin mustache he's got like a simpsons you know the guy on the simpsons with a mustache um it's like a simpsons not snurdly or whatever his name is.

6:13But the, it's like one who looks like he's been to prison a lot and he just has that real thin, barely filled in mustache. Never trust those people. Yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. He really should, he should just join a posse, a posse of insane clowns. What would they call that? I don't know. I don't know. God. You said it up. You said insane. You said he was like an insane clown. I was like, how did you not add the third, third word there? Because their music isn't harmonious to my lifestyle. The insane clown. But they think about that. I don't want to hear a bunch of. You're offending the juggalo community right now.

6:49Whatever happened to Stormy Weather? You know what I mean? Whatever happened to Stormy Daniels? I think she won her case, didn't she? She got a lot of money and then got that lawyer thrown in jail. So she won a lot of money and then the lawyers stole a lot of money from her. And then he went to jail. Isn't that what happened to Stormy Daniels? I don't know. But quite frankly, I'm shocked that Bravo hasn't had her as a below deck guest yet because she seems really like the type. Oh, my God. Do you know who that would make really jealous is Captain Sandy's wife. She's my baby. Sorry, I got to go.

7:22Watch my favorite show. Stormy. Wait a minute. I thought your favorite show was wind, baby. So storms off the boat. The guests are actually at the table sticking up for Josh. They're like, oh, shut up about your minerals. OK, he's doing a good job. And that guy's like, there is literally nothing healthy in front of me. And then we cut to see what's in front of him. And it's all cooked vegetables and glorious, healthy stuff. This guy's just an asshole. And someone pointed out in the comments that he's carrying a leather Louis Vuitton bag, which is really hilarious too. That's amazing. Yeah, that's, that's truly amazing.

7:58This guy's an idiot, which by the way, I'm just going to do this really quickly. One more time. As long as we're talking about idiots, in case people haven't heard the crappy hour episode, The biggest idiot is actually me because I was the one who thought I'd found a smoking gun with Stacey's contract yesterday in the Potomac recap. I was like, look, it was signed 5-5-24. The season had already aired. The season had legitimately not even aired yet. It didn't air until the fall. It had just started filming. The date was not a smoking gun at all. And I did a victory lap acting like I was Sherlock fucking Holmes.

8:26I was there with you. And I'm just a fucking idiot. And I'm an idiot. You want me to add to it? First of all, I was there with you. I'll take the blame for that too. We're dummies. But then the second thing was they were talking about a stripper because Wendy was saying the only time she's been attracted to a woman was this bad stripper in D.C. with braces. But we read it. We were like, oh, she was a bad stripper. Why would you be attracted to a bad stripper? You know that that means good, right? One of the comments was like, do you think Michael Jackson was really singing I'm bad, I'm bad? Like it was a confession?

9:01Like I'm bad. I'm bad you know it I interpreted the bad the correct way But I just thought like it I thought like it was more that she was still a janky stripper Because she had braces But I understood the bad part But I still was like with you Because I was like what like wow This random ass like janky stripper with the braces Well I should have but sometimes then when you're going over your notes later You don't remember This is like with the Apple socks I'll never forget the Apple socks incident where we talked for like 10 minutes about Ramona getting Apple socks. I'm like, what is that? Is that some sort of like new device?

9:36And like, we did a whole bit. And then I think, I think it was just like a brand of socks. I don't even remember at this point. Yeah. Okay. So Josh is upset. Okay. So the guests, one of the guests is like, you know what? Maybe Josh doesn't understand what you're trying to say. Cause he's really good. And then this guy's just all pouting like, well, no one's standing up for me. So Josh is really frustrated, obviously. and he's just, you know, around the corner of the boat being like, fuck off, fuck off. So we find out a little bit about this psycho. He's like, yeah, back in Mission Star restaurants, I used to have a breaking point.

10:10I had the nickname. Nickname, it was the Rottweiler. The Rottweiler in the kitchen. Because when I snapped, I snapped. And I remember, like, grabbing a chef by his neck and, like, putting his head into a recipe pack. But, you know, that's the old Josh. New Josh goes to Ashrams, loves human shit on vegetables. some no you're not you're still an old psycho and didn't he tell a story wasn't he the one who told a story of a chef that he was working with like shoving his face into an iron or something yeah he that's like last week he was like yeah last last week he was like i remember one time getting my face shoved in and then now he's proudly declaring how he shoved someone's face into a recipe pack whatever that is so i'm like you you are a monster and you're sitting here telling this like with like a like a laugh on your face like isn't this crazy that what we do i'm like no you're a lunatic that's totally unacceptable behavior you're cooking food why are you acting like you're in the trenches of like afghanistan right now like please like you were asked to saute your green beans and move on with your life oh yeah fucking bake a bake a fucking uh like roast a red bell pepper you know what i mean which i did last night by the way

11:23And I did not have to slam anyone's face Into any sort of thing on the counter Crazy And he's like I'm not going to let Carlos affect me He's needing the primary Okay okay I'm back I'm back I'm back He just honks his nose And so he goes back And Joe is now eating all the leftovers in the kitchen He's just walking around eating it The second the chef leaves these people walk into the kitchen And just start eating shit off the counter yeah they're like birds birds at like uh like like in an outdoor restaurant the moment you used to have a waiters birds are on your they're on your plate pecking away it's terrible yeah so he asked josh he gives josh a hug and he's like his mouth is all full it's like want to finger up your asshole and then um i'll never forget that about joe i don't know why that's the only thing i remember about joe is talking about how he wanted somebody to finger his butt so then um we cut to the guests.

12:19They're talking about their excursion. They had a great time. And they're like, it was awesome. What a great excursion. And guess who's mad? Vegan Carlos. Fucking asshole Carlos who can't be happy about one goddamn thing. The plus one. He goes, you know, they dropped us off in an undesirable neighborhood, but they hosted an Olympics here, so I know there's something amazing here. They're just not showing it to us. Are you saying you came to Barcelona and were hoping to see the stadium from 1992, like a 30-year-old stadium when you have like buildings that are like hundreds years old, like Art Nouveau, Gaudi, all this beautiful stuff.

12:53And he's like, ew, gross. Show me the swimming pool, the Olympic swimming pool. I want to see a diving board. I mean, this guy's a total idiot. He's an imbecile nouveau riche idiot who I'm not even sure if he's nouveau riche. I think he's just nouveau. And then I think he just was like brought along. And I think the sweet lady who is like the primary is probably putting the bill for him. and he's acting like he, you know, is at the main table at King's Landing or whatever. Oh, yeah, that was real fancy. Shut the fuck up. Yeah, this guy's a little asshole. And also, can I just tell you, the Olympics are not held in the nicest neighborhoods anyway, so I don't know what you're talking about.

13:38The Olympics are also like, where can we trash? You know, what's a part of town we can just absolutely just trash, you know? Let's put it in fucking, you know, the end of Queens or whatever. Like the U.S. Isn't that where they had it in New York? Was it out there? Yeah, Flushing Meadows. But also we saw the excursion and they literally were in the most scenic, beautiful section. There's like walking around adorable streets. And he's like, ew, gross. I'm like, you were, where are you? Like, what are you talking about? Is there a neighborhood where the buildings aren't so old?

14:19He's tacky. I'm actually embarrassed for Carlos because he's really trying to be fancy and he just looks so tacky, you know, and even the other guests are making fun of him now. They're like, you're ridiculous. Like no one is co-signing it. and in fact I actually think that they these people are probably much nicer and more giving than they are being presented but because he's such a bitch productions like let's lead with that that these are all like angry like um picky people and then Carlos is kind of like the the most of that you know because then you know in the end they actually wind up being like lovely and they have like a very of all time probably has to present all time so I kind of think that they were like more generous than they were presented but that the story was that carlos was big obnoxious and like you can't have the story of them being generous and carlos being obnoxious like it's more fun well he's the one that seems like the asshole i mean they did have the couple ladies last time who went and ordered you know they're like what kind of food do we want how about pizza pasta fish elephant like they named 30 things um but they weren't mean like they seemed pretty nice the only one who's an asshole is carlos and we all know that person who is in our circle or our family who every time you go somewhere, they are just the asshole to the waiter.

15:36They're rude about everything. And everyone else has to just sit there because if you're like, stop being rude, then you look like you're not being on the team of your family member or whatever. And I think that that's what everybody is victim to in this, like victim to Carlos. Carlos's attitude where it's like, okay, well, let's just be polite and let Carlos do his thing. It doesn't mean we're assholes, but you know, when you're around an asshole and you let them be an asshole, you're kind of an asshole too. That's just how it is. That's how it is. Whoa, get your apple socks. It's time for a commercial.

16:05It's time for a crappin's commercial.

16:12So now we're just like more eating, et cetera. And Asha and V are talking about the schedule and, you know, V's going to be on breakfast, but, you know, V's going to be doing, is still doing double duty and everything. And we cut to a guest and everyone's just basically like, I'm going to bed. Everyone's depressed by the meal, or at least Carlos took it out of them. So they all go to bed. They can't enjoy everything because fucking Carlos is there. So they're like, bye. Yeah, yeah. He's like ruining everything. And then Joe and Kizzy are being flirty while they help clearing the table and stuff.

16:43And Joe's like, oh, Kizzy is like the next level of flirt. And she was like, the way that I act and the stuff that I say, I should just should not have a boyfriend. I don't know. You guys both. Both of you. With the lies you tell each other, to yourself, it's just like that's enough already. There's no crime in just wanting to fuck somebody on a boat. Just go fuck him and stop acting like you're in the middle of some rom-com, Kizzy. Like Jesus, you dated the guy two months, okay? It's not, you're not in a real relationship for two months. Fuck whoever you want. Be quiet. Mm-hmm. And then Joe's like, I think I've got a stronger relationship with my underwear than Kizzy's had with her boyfriend.

17:25It's like, okay. All right. I don't know if you have a good relationship with your underwear since it seems like you're always fucking people. So I think it's always coming off. Oh, wow. Putting that in the Grace and Nika show. He's entered that part of manhood where you start losing your hair and you're just getting everything you can, you know? Yeah. Right before it goes, you know? And as a man who's lost his hair, I get it. You know, you're like, oh my God, what's going to happen? I'm going to lose my hair. My penis is never going to work. What's good? No one's ever going to fuck me again. And then you lose your hair.

17:54And then you find people who have like Daddy Warbucks fetishes. And then, you know, they're out there too. It's okay. But he doesn't have another bald person there telling him that. So he's just grabbing onto whatever lifeboats he sees, you know. And every time he gets a boner, one little more follicle falls out and just drifts across the camera. Like the feather in Forrest Gump. It's just drifting away. So Kizzy, of course, guys, calls Tommy. Tommy. Tommy can you hear me So she calls Tommy and he's like hello But he won't be home for 45 minutes So she's going to have to wait Guys cannot wait to see what happens Well we ain't be able to wait Well it's the next morning We'll never know how that 45 minutes went Because now we skip all the way to 6am Josh is in the kitchen And he's muttering to himself Fucking Carlos Because he knows that Carlos is going to make his life hell again today And Aisha is talking to him like so what are you going to make this morning?

18:48And he's like, well, I'm going to throw around, throw a lot of things around for Carlos, just hitting preferences and things like that. And then Captain Sandy is looking outside and she goes, you know what? Let me tell you something, America. Let me give you what I see. Right now, it looks calm out there, quiet as can be, sort of like Norma's dating cue, just to hear a pin drop. So I think we got to get off the dock. This is our only chance to give these clients the experience that they paid for. Gosh, guys, I look out there. It's just so calm. The water is like Norma's DMs. There's no one in them.

19:24Time to get out there and have a good time. So we see the credits rolling on her favorite show, Wind, on the screen. She's like, ah, wind is dying down. That was a great season. Let's get to it. So Nathan is bossing people around. And then V has to pull some lines. And V's like, oh, my God, I really don't want to disappoint Nathan with this first on talking, but it's like my first shot of a trial on the deck team and there's like no room for fuck up. Put my trauma to the side. Guys, I'm gonna throw a rope. Guess what guys? She throws the rope and she's good. She's doing a good job at roping things, etc.

20:06So Joe's like, you did a good job. And she's like, I'm part of the deck team now. We did it, Joe. We did it. Nathan's like, she's done absolutely fantastic. So then Max is like, oh, the Queen Victoria just arrived at the lake. And like, you should have been already as long as you know. He's already like, he's already like an afterthought. Like no one cares about Max anymore. His storyline for the season is done. Now he's sad. Yeah. And Joe's like, whoa, what she's doing right now, if she carries on throughout the season with us, she's going to be the best I can't anyone could ever ask for. So then we go to Aish outside and she's cheering for her.

20:40Everyone's like, oh my God, yes, me, you're doing it. And Sandy is looking at her through a pair of binoculars. She's like, oh, my God. Let me tell you what I see. Some pores, both figuratively and literally. Okay. Whoa. Didn't need these binoculars after all. She's not that far away. Whoa. Hey, I didn't realize that Bravo changed the schedule of not just Wife Swap, but Wind. Apparently, there's a whole other episode starting up right now. Oh, my God. I got to clear my afternoon. A new episode of Wind is starting up. What, they split the season in two? what is this stranger things is it supersized oh my god out there guys bumpy so it's just like oh she looks more natural doing deck work than stew work what are we gonna do set her free into the world so uh max is talking about um talking to v about the pros and cons of being outside versus inside.

21:40He's like, yeah, you know, outside it's so nice because it's like fucking adventure out here. You know, the unknown. It can be a dolphin coming here or a boat. Or, you know, it could be so many things but you are like in the galley and you're just like in the pantry. You don't know what's going to happen. Like if you're in the pantry, you don't even see jellyfish going by that you can pet. You know, you miss all the fun. You don't even see the eye patches for free in the ocean. They call them jellyfish, huh? So then V is like, yeah, I love being outside because like outside's like amazing. Like I love outside, but it traumatizes me.

22:15He's like, oh. So then Aisha is calling Nathan and she only needs V during breakfast and dinner that he can have for the rest of the time. And she's saying, you know, it's good to test V. And she's going to do great with just Kizzy. It's like famous last words in my ride.

22:42so everyone the crew's doing crew stuff uh people are getting into their different uniforms josh is pulling a quiche out of the oven kizzy is ironing um uh the guests are still in bed and finally people are waking up and um and then nathan asks if he wants to watch some anchor stuff and uh she's like fuck yeah i want to watch some anchor stuff come out to the deck to not watch the anchors. Am I right? Am I right? Hey, is this a new show? Because I'm ready to watch some anchors. Guys, let's get some toys in the water. Okay. So now let's see. You know, just everyone's working ironing, you know, LaDonna's going on a jet ski.

23:24I've never seen someone enjoy a jet ski as much as LaDonna did. That was pretty cute. She did enjoy it. She had a great time. LaDonna, I know LaDonna's like great and she's just buried under all the awful Carlos coverage in this. The jet ski is like puttering along. It's going like, just screaming. So funny. So V does a knot and it's very exciting. She does a knot and Joe doesn't even know how to do the knot. So it's like, whoa, V knows a knot. And V's like, I'm so good at tying knots because when Bon was my instructor and teaching me everything he knew about boats, this man was like, he was like cut throughout.

24:03He was like a veteran. He was deployed to Afghanistan and he was not playing around. And she basically talks about how she learned knots from her ex. So yeah, she can do knots really well, guys. Yeah. So she was like, yeah, I can tie a knot in an ice storm with my eyes closed. Yeah. And I can like tie a bow line in an ice storm with my eyes closed. Yeah. Sounds useful. Next time you're sailing a yacht in an ice storm. um so people finally wake up and going to get ready for breakfast they they she's telling it's just telling people them about like what breakfast is etc and then carlos is like yeah i'm ready for that not eating not eating nothing fake just putting straight freshness in my body that's what i want and she's like okay they've served you nothing but fresh food what are you talking about he's acting like they've served him nothing but fruits roll-ups and snickers bars sir this is a this is someone who became a vegan because it was trendy this is someone who definitely saw it on tiktok and was like i want to have like nothing fake in my body i don't think this is someone who who became a vegan for any ethical reason or for any dietary reason i think this is someone who did it purely to be trendy and now is like really upset that they're like that they're trying to be like a vegan influencer somewhere and i think it's a straight up control thing it's people who don't have control in their lives and they feel like powerless and so they come up with and it's not just veganism it's anything it's like any kind of extreme dietary thing that they can put other people through shit because obviously there are vegans who do it for the right reasons and there are people who are really gluten-free like they have to be gluten-free because of celiac and stuff like that and then there are people who are just like they want to be that person at the restaurant who's like was this prepared on a different counter than everything else because i need my own counter for this to be and you're never going to convince me that those people don't exist and he's one of them you know he's just like oh it's not good enough i'm the only person here who's important enough for minerals and i'm gonna make a stink about it wherever the fuck i go you know what a wise person once said i love control and that wise person is the new sky rizzy jingle that's what we're doing that's not a crap about last night yeah he's basically a new sky rizzy jingle which by the way will never be as good as the original one let's be honest uh and you know what i would like to if i was serving carlos breakfast i would say carlos i have one piece of sage advice for you and he'd be like sage that's not fresh and i'd be like it actually is it's a plant don't smudge me what i'll say to you is nothing is everything okay yeah okay nothing is everything enjoy your sage enjoy your sage cashew cheese there's a reddit thread and the reddit thread says skyrizzy controls now everything that's the headline and then it says first the song was nothing is everything now it's control is everything so which is it i love someone i love someone being flustered and irascible and going to the internet being like i've had enough is it nothing is everything or is it controls everything what am i supposed to do when i see the commercial you know what that is though it's a good point that's a good point and it's a good question what the fuck are you trying to do skyrizi make up your mind they're like we don't have to we have crones we can say whatever we want what are you going to do what are you going to do attack a person with crones yes your songs don't make sense you can't tell me in one second nothing is everything and then be like oh control is everything and also are you like an abuser like i'm not going to be in a relationship with skyrizi they don't sound healthy they don't sound like a healthy person yeah there's a big discussion because it's like someone says, I thought Sky Rizzy was for plaque psoriasis.

27:46Now it's for Crohn's. And someone else is like, maybe it's a two for one thing. And then someone says, I thought nothing was everything. It's a Zen koan grasshopper. And then someone goes, for us, it's$80 ,000 a year. Oh my gosh. Cheese and crackers. Wow. Crazy. So Sky Rizzy Reddit is a real interesting thing. Yeah, you never know where the internet's going to take you. My chair needs some Sky Rizzy. Okay, so now we go to the kitchen. There's a lot of food ready to go out. And Josh is like, oh, my God, I'm absolutely getting crocked in the ass. And now it's time for everybody to get up and go to breakfast.

28:30So we get soft apricots, guacamole, lobster quiche, beaten mango salad with pomegranate, and homemade hash browns. I love the quiche. Love the quiche. And then someone's like, so, vegans, how are you liking your breakfast? which is a good question to ask Carlos. I know he likes the melon. And he seems to be like pretty chill. I think he's actually so hungry at this point that he doesn't have an in him to complain anymore. He just has melon and he's going to be happy. I think someone probably told him stopping an asshole. You're not even paying for this shopping. Maybe that's what it was too. I hope that's what happened because I think he's so today.

29:10Yeah, he's a little bit better. So the toys Oh my god Just after they put all the toys out Now they're all getting blown around Because no one knew that this episode of wind was happening They changed the schedule And now all the toys were out We got all our toys out for a whole different We were all ready for an episode of toys And it turns out it's an episode of wind happening And now it's a real clusterfuck on the schedule Speaking of toys I went to Disneyland And I went on something that had some of the toys characters Buzz Lightyear has got to have bad knees that's it that's all i got i was like god that guy does not look healthy he's like well i'm a big action star i'm like your body is gigantic and you have these tiny little legs you've got like tiny little sutton legs he's got to have terrible knees i feel bad for him and he looks like possibly he's got hemorrhoids as well even in a disney animatronic he doesn't look healthy i'm just pointing it out like someone help buzz i'm so glad you brought this up because it occurred to me that my favorite part of Sunday's Potomac episode, we didn't even mention in our recap, and I'm only remembering it right now, which is that when the women were at the Alexander Hamilton house, Wendy is like looking at a statue and she's like, she's like, oh yeah, well this is a, yeah, this is a one thing.

30:24It's because something said infinity. She goes, yeah, well, you know, it's a infinity and beyond. Right. And Stacey puts her hand on Wendy's arm and goes, no that's Buzz Lightyear that's Buzz Lightyear I rewound that three times and I cannot believe we forgot to mention that on the recap it was so just the way that Stacy sort of like kindly just put her hand on Wendy's shoulder like she was like a like Wendy was some like old baddie lady who had lost her mind like no no no that's not from American history that's just a quote from Disney yeah you're an academic that's buzzing commercials

31:08here comes one right now

31:14so kizzy goes to v and she's like wow guess what i taught joe how to do a knot yeah i can do like a bow line in my sleep i learned it from bo yeah i learned it from him he was in afghanistan before the drama. But yeah, he was really good. You know, in that Afghanistan war, tying knots, he was so good. He got a purple heart for that. Yeah. Yeah. He did. He was actually a paratrooper. And whenever he would arrive into base from a plane from the sky, they'd be like, oh God, look, there's knots up there. Oh, what? Hey, everyone get out of the way. Knots landing, Knott's Landing Knott's Landing Thank you Thank you Somewhere the Insane Clown Posse laughed at that one Now the Insane Clown Posse joke seems much better, huh?

32:12Much better You just have to do a worse joke later Oh my god, it's sweep, sweep Wind just went up to 17 knots Holy moly, guacamole Wow, where did that wind come from? Geez, this is crazy. Is that vegan guacamole? Is that vegan guacamole? Oh, it's an expression, Carlos. Sorry, it's my scene now. Oh, guys, guys, we got to get all the toys in, okay? I'm going to need Victoria. Get Victoria in here. She knows not. She learned him in Afghanistan. And then she's like, all right, no problem. Kissing it out there, no lady. Yeah, yeah. I just, we need to get that slide up before it rips. God, you know what?

32:46Some of these days, I really regret putting out all the toys for no reason at every moment of the day. Jesus. I know. All right. Well, this guy, it's getting so windy here that we have to call her Victoria, not V. Okay. Calm waters are for V. But stormy weather, that's Victoria. Get Victoria out here right now. So they start doing this and it's like - 28 knots. Holy crap. That's like a rom-com horror movie with Sandra Bullock. We're all going to die. 28 knots later. well she does have that she wait she does have that um it wasn't in that movie she did with ben affleck that had a weather name in it it was like storm when it storms i don't know bird brain was my favorite what was that one called bird box bird box

33:42I love Bird Box. Forces of Nature. Forces of Nature is Ben Affleck and Sandra Bullock. So she is kind of like here with us right now because there's a force of nature and it's pulling the tender away. Oh no, the line to the tender just snapped. Wow. I probably should get mad at someone for tying a bad line on that tender, but it doesn't work with the overall storyline. So we'll ignore that part. God, Sandra Bullock is always with us. She's not even dead yet. And she's still always in my heart. I'm thinking of her every day. I wonder what Sandra Bullock's doing right now. She's with us when we're awake, and she's with us while you were sleeping.

34:15Okay. All right, eyebrows. Peter Gallagher. That's the only thing I can think of with that movie is as eyebrows. Okay, so things are blowing. It's windy. White caps. Get the toys in. It's so dangerous. It's so dangerous. God, I love that banana until it comes time to win. That banana could be a missile to someone's head. Don't let the banana kill the dana. Hey, is a painting crew coming here to fix this boat? Because all I see are white caps. Get the toys in here right now. Come on. What, is this a casting department for Below Deck? Because all I can see around here are white caps.

34:55What is this? Carl Radke's new teeth? Because all I can see are white caps.

35:03no rope is snapping and um you know it's it's mad it's mayhem out there everyone's dying there are people dying the vegan flies away into a tornado he's gone then it brings him back it's like we don't want him we've never sucked somebody into this tornado that complained about there not being enough minerals take him back and it's fake louis vuitton too the nbcu synergy with wicked is really out of control they're like okay here's what we're gonna to do let's have an activation on blow deck med can we get a tornado on blow deck med i think that'd be really great and then cynthia revo can come out of the tornado and she could sing on the boat and then go back in and she could take a vegan with her maybe i don't know what do you have got an idea let's drop a boat on hannah

35:47something has changed within me it's the new it's the new schedule for wind actually yeah that's was changed.

35:57So it's mayhem out there. Everybody's dying. People are jumping overboard. Kathy Bates is just driving by in a little life boat. Like, I wish I could save them all, but I can't. Helen Hunt is on a little speedboat. She's throwing Pepsi cans into the tornado. Ow! Hey, how did this Pepsi can get on the teak? Bill Pullman comes by. It's like, I think I'm in this movie. I honestly can't even remember anymore. Honestly. No, no. urine while you were sleeping. We need the ghost of Bill Paxton for the Twister reference. Thank you. So now, let's see. People are running for ropes and Max is on the radio.

36:36He's like, I've got to jump. I've got to jump. I must risk my life for this boat. Take it easy. Don't hurt yourselves. Okay. That's 27 knots of wind. Dun, dun, dun. Well, they're like, oh my God. the tender is floating away the tender is oh my god it's made it to morocco it's so far away but then like max just jumps on it from like the deck it's like right there it's like oh it didn't really float that far away it floated like a foot i mean i think christian went farther than the boat than the tender did yeah so the guts are kind of laughing because it's it is funny i think when you're inside and you just watch like poor people flying around almost dying to get a blow up boat You know?

37:17So he's like, oh, the clip's on the line of bulk. And one of the guests is like, yeah, you know what? You guys, you should have seen that. The guy saved it. He saved it. And Captain Sandy's like, well, that's Maxo. That's what he does. He's a saver of things. Good. Yeah. Love that banana. Yeah, he's great. He's really great. Love that little horse on. The Mediterranean is very unpredictable. Sometimes you order hummus and then you get olives instead. You never know what you're going to get at the Mediterranean. All right, we're going to head back. It can be dangerous out here. So they are going to head back.

37:52And then the guest is asking V if she's okay. She's like, yeah, it's a little rough, but I was born for this. I'm on the exterior.

38:02So a guest says, the water's going to win. And then another guest goes, no, she's winning. That was impressive. And then someone else goes, yeah, she's winning now. And then someone else is like, who are we talking about? I don't know. but she's winning the girl throwing a rope down as an anchor the girl throwing the iron down as an anchor the gas she's doing great so now everybody's back on the boat everything's fine and captain's like debt crew debt crew crisis averted we're gonna head back good job guys that was not easy to be out there probably you know what it was easy watching it it was easy watching it god that filled me with joy that was a good one anybody loves Sandra Bullock I'm thinking about her right now I don't know why.

38:43I hope she's okay. Okay. You guys ever think that maybe, maybe Sandra Bullock will be Dorothy in the week in the Wicked sequel? God, that would work so well. Let's, let's write a letter. Let's get a campaign going. I like that idea. You guys like that idea? No. Okay. Um, so now, um, let's see. So Aisha is talking to Kizzy about how V is on deck now. So laundry's fucked. So Kizzy has to do it. She's like, oh, so now it's time for them to do stuff. The guests go to their rooms. And, um, one of the guests is really annoyed, I guess, because they can't, they just can't do anything on this charter.

39:22You know, they can't. I think some of them may be a little seasick too. And so they're just like in their rooms being sad. Yeah. Which is fair. I think. I think so. Like, I think like I would be totally happy being in my room on the yacht. I'd be on my laptop. I'd be on a bed. I'd be like writing a sub stack. I'd be like, this is great. I'm like, that's my happy place. Yeah, but you know, 50 ,000 a day or whatever the hell they pay is not great. So now Nathan's like, all right, Kizzy, you're ready to keep it going because you've been doing so well. So I'm going to have you throw this line over there and you can do it, Kizzy.

39:57Everybody believes in you. You just won the Purple Heart. Oh God, we're filming this. Captain Sandy, you got the binoculars on. All right, let's film this. Let's get it ready. Ready for posterity. Go, go, go, throw that line. and then she kind of misses it. Throw the line. Throw the line onto that Barcelona 1992 Olympic statue. You can do it. She does it, but she does it badly. So she's like so embarrassed, but whatever. She's like really good and Nathan's really happy about it. And he's like, he's like, I'll take V any day. We're working part-time over Christian and Tessa working full-time. Remember those two ding-dongs?

40:31And we see a clip of them being totally inept trying to pull something out of the water. So V is basically like, whose decision is it if I stay. Can I stay? Can I stay on the exterior? I love the exterior. So Nathan's going to talk to the captain about it. But now it's time for V to go get into her blacks because it's time for dinner service. So she's going to get into blacks and Captain Sandy's watching and she's like, wow, Victoria. I'm impressed. Yeah, I'm still going to use the full word. And she's just so good. So then the theme for tonight's dinner is high tea and Kizzy is going to direct this, you know, like do all the decorations and stuff.

41:09And she's like, so do you want to like Alice in Wonderland? That's my high tea. That's crazy tea. That's crazy tea. And on top of, and, and you're Kizzy, you're British. Also, um, liked it. And I didn't pick up any sort of Alice in Wonderland theme from any of the guests. Like they just were also, by the way, why are you having high tea as your theme for dinner? That doesn't make any sense at all. Why don't you just have high tea? You literally can just have high tea. Yeah. I don't know. It's kind of weird. So then Joe and V eat together and it's flirting time, everybody. So he's like, do you like the restaurant?

41:44It's got good ambience, hasn't it? She's like, yeah. We should light a candle and be romantic. I really like the way that you're the edges of your teeth touch every time you smile. He's like, you do? That's just the romance taking over dinner. Nathan walks by and is like, oh, look, romance is blooming. And he's like, no, it's just a date. I was just talking over dinner. And Nathan's like, I know, it's just a date, just a date. So then Aisha's talking about dinner plans and Josh is going to make three proteins, three salads, mushrooms, fries, and bread. So I don't know. I don't know if there's gonna be enough minerals and healthy content in there for Carlos, but fingers crossed.

42:24I mean, look, just to go on Carlos's side for a second, because I'm a bitch like that. The guy said he doesn't want salads. So you're making three salads. And also you tried serving him mushrooms last time, and he said that wasn't vegetably enough for him. So you're serving him mushrooms again. And fries and bread, which aren't going to be considered healthy. So I don't know if he's going to get away with this. Also, isn't this supposed to be high tea? That's why I said, what sort of theme is high tea for dinner? And also, shouldn't it be afternoon tea? Because I learned that afternoon tea is the posh one.

42:56High tea is where, like, the workers just stop and have tea at a high table. Didn't we learn that last year in Britain somewhere? Like you actually want, if you want to be posh, you want to say afternoon tea. So this is all methodical. I wasn't paying attention. Here's what I thought of when we were having tea in Britain. This shit is so expensive. Tea is$20? Are you fucking kidding me? But it came with tiny finger sandwiches, Ronnie. Hello. But I will say, okay, I think that you make a good point about the salads and mushrooms, but I'm going to go the other way, which is that I think salad is a broad thing.

43:30I don't think a salad necessarily means it's a big lettuce, leafy salad. It could just be like garbanzo beans with like roasted cauliflower and all sorts of interesting stuff. So I don't know, but I am surprised that he went for mushrooms again. But what kind of vegan doesn't like mushrooms? I feel like mushrooms are just like, first of all, I love mushrooms, but I feel like if you're a vegan, you kind of have to then like adopt mushrooms into your life. I'm sorry, like you just have to. Right? It's like there's such a big part of it. Well, I mean, you don't have to. Not everybody likes them. I love them.

44:03You know, they're very meaty. You can make them just taste so good. But you know what? I can't feed the man. So Aisha's worried about the charter. She's like, I don't, I can just tell they're not happy at all. Like they're just hiding in their rooms right now. And so we see the guests who I guess don't know their mics are on. Chandra's like, are you feeling sorry for me? And he's like, no, I'm feeling sorry for we. Okay. This sucks for everybody. And Aisha's like, we have to do something to make them forget how terribly this has gone so far. So Aisha mentions to Kizzy that the guests want to have a group dance on the sky deck led by the yacht crew.

44:41So they're going to come up with a dance routine, which is like very standard with high tea, is that you do high tea and have a dance routine afterwards. So they're going to do that to lift the moods of everyone. so now Nathan and Joe they're talking about V like who's V into Nathan's like she's into you and he's like I mean I'm fond of both of them aren't I yeah but you'll tackle both of them won't you and he's like no no honestly I just don't want to do that that's disgusting and I'm a good man now I'm a good man pick one yeah he's changed totally changed Joe's not gonna do the whole thing Joe says honestly he says well i know that the crew thinks i'm a little bit of a player i do honestly believe that i'm i'm a good guy but i just i just always end up in mad situations you know i've unintentionally hurt people in the past and so i chose so i've got to choose but i don't know what i'm gonna do just yet like okay this this little preamble is nice this does not mean you're not a fuck boy this is just the thing that you're saying to try to make us think you're not a fuck boy but you're just a fuck boy and you're gonna do the whole thing all over again and you're going to burden everyone with inane conversations about like, so which one do I choose?

45:54I like them both. And in fact, he does it right now. He's like, honestly, V is a lovely girl, you know? Which I think when he says V is a lovely girl, it means that she's in second place to Kizzy, right? Because Kizzy, his first place would always be like, oh, I just want to, I just want to do something nasty to her. But V is a lovely girl means that I think that he thinks as V is second place. yeah I don't I can't really tell with him I think he's still like which one is actually going to give me something and which one is just flirting with me I think he'll just I think he's just willing to go really wherever whatever stores open he's going to walk into he just wants to shop you know yeah so Nathan tells him that V's V's fella died last year oh her fella died yeah last year her fella died that's so sad I understand I'm just gonna see how it goes it's me it's me fucking first charter so he is i guess he's like oh shit i can't like play with this girl's heart because she's probably still mourning and that makes my job as a fuck boy much harder to do so how do i how do i go forward with this yeah so uh max had a good day but we're still not paying much attention to max and then carlos is complaining that he doesn't get to go on the water because he's never gone on this type of yacht and not been able to go on the water so change the weather okay yeah okay and then uh josh is just cooking cooking cooking kizzy wants joe to help her with spanish dancing and she's like oh my god it's so simple and then he basically just stands there and she twists all over him throws her legs up and then does the splits and he's like okay all right there grown up in spain i learned dancing from old women because they'd always pick me up and they'd go, you're dancing with me.

47:42Kind of the same way it's happening today. I've unintentionally hurt so many old women, but not anymore. I only fuck one old woman at a time on the dance floor. I just love like this eight-year-old boy and some like 73-year-old lady is like, you kid, get over here. I'm going to show you some moves. So now he and Kizzy are working on a routine and I'm just going to say, I want to do a correction real quickly or a clarification about afternoon tea and high tea, which is that high tea, I was correct. Afternoon tea is the posh one, but high tea is an early evening meal. It's a working class meal eaten after a day's work.

48:21So high tea as a dinner theme could actually work, but you're basically having a working class meal of meat, cheese, fish, bread, potatoes, and vegetables. So I don't think that's exactly what they want. Well, that's what they're getting though, high tea. He's making salads, potatoes, and whatever the other thing he said was. Bread. So he's doing it. Hey, everyone. This is the end of part one of this recap. For part two, keep an eye on your podcast feed. It is coming up in just a moment. Thanks so much for listening. Catch you on the second half. Watch what Crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors.

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52:00Thank you.