#3064 Below Deck Med S10E06 Part 2: Vegan for Vendetta

0:06Well hello and welcome to What's What's What Whatsgg hoe traitissy Watch what crappens Watch what crappens Who cares what happens when there's so much that crappens Well, hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens. This is part two of a two-part recap. If you're like, hey, wait a minute, I didn't hear part one. Guys, it's because we put out a lot of recaps. Go back and listen to part one, okay? It's before this one. Bye. Enjoy the show. So now Nathan wants V to rinse off a rail. Okay. And now it's time for the dinner. And Carlos is wearing a backwards hat. I don't know. I don't care what they're wearing.

0:50So they go to this IT. So now V comes to the deck with a bucket of stuff. And she's wiping down the rail. I love that it's a whole plot line. Like, is V going to wipe down the rail? Where's V? The rail still needs to be wiped out. Oh, my God. She's got a whole bucket to wipe. She's not only wiping the rail. she is wiping down the rail expertly. Guys, can we have another round of applause for V? V. Great work, Victoria. I call her Victoria because she's a champion. So everyone gets their food and Josh is like, all right, we've got king oyster breaded mushrooms, hand cut French fries, cauliflower couscous, green salad, garlic mushroom, sea bass, lamb shrimp, melon, and cucumber.

1:29Carlos, do you have any complaints? And Carlos is, he's like, I think maybe you're right. Maybe they told him to shut up because he's like clearly biting his tongue on this one. Yeah. He has it all over his face, but he doesn't say anything. And then Candace, is Candace the other vegan? And she's like, okay, that's fine. Because, you know, vegans can't be just nice. So then they cut to everybody looking kind of unhappy, right? Yeah. And yeah, no one looks happy. And Carlos complains that something's too greasy. and then we cut to Kizzy and Josh and she's like, do you feel better about them now?

2:08He's like, it's just scary. It's scary when they've got so many variety of preferences. You know what I mean? I mean, anywhere else would have their face flat down on a grill. But can't do that, can I? It's new, Josh. And so Carlos is like, he's like, well, I mean, they try. He's like, it's too greasy. They try. It really doesn't take that much though. I mean, like, it's so easy to make this stuff. I'm like, well then, why don't you put on your preference sheet what you would like to eat. So he can make it for you, you know? Yeah. So then, yeah, I'm so sick of Carlos. I don't even care about his.

2:41I don't care about him anymore. He's pissing me off. So now it's time for dessert. And they get these little coconut bowls. And he's like, all right. So in the bottom of the coconut, there's a coconut puree. And then there's some fresh pineapple. And Candice, the vegan, makes a grossed out face. And so he kind of pauses. And he's like, and there's a coconut almond crumble there. fashion fruit sorvete and on top it's a honey twill and it's um i don't think honey is vegan which is interesting some some vegans are okay with it some are not but it's definitely considering this guy carlos like how he is i would have erred on the side of of of caution but like again we are sort of getting a sense that he's like trendy vegan so i don't think he doesn't even have like a moment like i think if he if he knew he could complain about the honey he would have but i don't think you even realize that honey is is like controversial in the world of veganism so everybody is staring at this dessert like they don't they don't want it they don't like it it's a really weird reaction for a whole table to just like look at this dessert and then we just hear someone go i don't like coconut i don't like coconut what was that Is that wind?

3:54So then they're like, you know what? Bring Josh back up here. We want to say something once and for all. So Josh comes up there and Candice, the vegan, goes, I summoned you back up here. He's like, oh, summoned me back up here. Yes, I, queen of veganism, summoned you back up here. Have you made this dessert before? Is this something you created tonight? And he's like, well, I've done it before. I did it for a competition in December. So there, be impressed I was in a competition. Of course, it was just me and three other clowns and none of them cooked. But either way, it was a competition. Guess what?

4:32It was a handkerchief coming out of your wrist competition. But still, yeah, it was eaten. It all took place in a tiny car with 20 other participants.

4:44And someone just laughs when he said, I did it in a competition. So we don't think this is going to go well. Yeah. And she goes, this is like a party in my mouth. And someone else is like, it is divine. And even Carlos says, this was nuts. Yeah. And nuts are vegan, but I still liked it. Nuts are vegan, Carlos. Nuts are a vegetable and we all know it. But vegetables are vegan. Shot cut off my ass, I'm a vegan. Nuts come from a nut cow and they're not vegan. Okay. So Josh is like, yeah, well, okay, great. There's more passion for you and it's all happy and the vegans are happy. And Josh is like, hold on.

5:25Is that a pig flying over there? They actually liked it. I'm like, Josh, you're doing so well. Why did you mention the pigs? Okay. You should say broccoli. Is there a broccoli flying over there? But like not a pig. Come on. So Carlos loves it so much. He's going to eat the whole bowl of it. So, you know, crazy things do happen. Yeah. So now Josh is excited and it's just like, say you won in the end. Didn't you? And Candace is like, he listened. We have changed a chef into a vegan chef. Our work here is done. You're welcome, other vegans. So, yeah, and then there's some hijinks downstairs where, like, Aisha has Nathan on her shoulders for some reason.

6:05And then Kizzy and V are in the cabins cleaning, and Kizzy's telling V about how she's like, oh, guess what? Joe, I'm teaching Joe a dance, and I'm going to, like, twerk. I'm going to do British white girl twerking. It's going to be great. and I'm like, oh, up on him like this. Yeah, I'm basically just announcing the fact that I had good physical chemistry with Joe. Isn't that funny, V? I will say her twerk, her butt moved, which is very different from most of the twerks we get on here. Most of them just look like people imitating someone from Cats trying to like scratch up against a post, like scratch their butt.

6:37But her butt moved, so I was impressed. That was a pretty decent white girl twerk. Yeah, good work on her end. so now it's time for the big dance number so they come out and Joe is wearing his like Spanish dancing uniform and which is basically like a sheer shirt and they dance and it's fun and everyone like everyone on the crew like grabs someone and dances with them and it's a fun time and everyone laughs and smiles and then there's like a split because he does a split and then Joe does a split and everyone does a split and everyone's happy and you know there's smiles on the guest face for the first time all charter yeah and so then um aisha loves it because it's the first time she's seen most of them smile uh so now kizzy's doing dishes and max comes over and um he's like i just mean this uh and she's like thanks babe darling sweetheart my delight full of passion oh poor max you're not getting any of that no it's not gonna happen for you max It is smart because you do get guys to do your dishes.

7:42So that's good. So the guests go to bed and then Max, Nathan, and Joe are out smoking. And Nathan's like, boys, fucking smashed it today. And I'm proud of fucking everyone. And so they're like, are we going to keep V? Like, what do we do? Do we get to keep her? Do we get to keep her? Meanwhile, Asha's talking. Say it again? Sorry. I was echoing you. I was saying, does she get to stay? Is she going to stay? Yeah. So then we go to Asha and Kizzy. and Kizzy's like, something wasn't done in the cabins when we did turndowns earlier and I've just been in a bad mood today. You know, it's just, I've been more frustrated than I should be because the love of my life told me what should I do about it?

8:22Oh, God. Kizzy, I mean, you were the one who advocated for V to go out on the deck and now you have to do all the work. Sorry. So now she like, she texts Tommy and she goes, I fancy you a crazy amount which is hilarious based on what she winds up texting him the very next night. So the next morning, everyone's waking up V is doing laundry. People like Nathan and Joran are cleaning things up. Sandy goes up to V and she goes, how's it going? Victoria, do you like when I say your full name? Just want to let you know. I really appreciate what you're doing. Yeah, I saw you hustling yesterday. Wow. wow, real hustler out there, Victoria.

9:07You did great. She's like, oh my God, thank you so much. Learned it in Afghanistan. That's what I want to hear. So then LaDonna calls for Aisha and she's like, so when the beds were cleared off, there was a headband and it belonged to my daughter and my daughter's dead. So I need the headband. And Aisha's like, oh my God. And so they cry and then Aisha finds it under the covers. So it was sweet. It was like a very short storyline. it was like a beautiful little scene like asia and i love that asia's like and she's just like for some reason kizzy or v decided to put a whole ass fitted sheet over like a garment essentially oh was it over the was it under the fitted sheet it was under the fitted sheet i think oh i thought she just could be wrong the blanket and was like oh here it is it's in your sheets let me tell you something am i i've been i've been really messing shit up a lot on crap ends up the past few days so don't trust me anymore but i'm pretty sure it was under a fitted sheet either way it was under something it was in the bed so they laugh and they hug and it's like the best ending to a movie that we never watched like oh my god this is so sweet she spent this whole time searching for her daughter's headband and she finally found it like no i lost something oh here it is oh my god and then the camera pans over and sandra bulka standing in the door her arms crossed, giving a proud smile.

10:28She does a nod, and then there's this celestial light, and she gets brought up to heaven because she finally did the thing that lets her go to the next plane. No, don't kill Sandra Bullock. No, she was already dead. She was like, she had to do this thing. This had to happen, so that way Sandra could finally be accepted into heaven. Her character, it's not Sandra, it's just her character. No, I don't even want to see a Sandra Bullock character die. I love her. Okay. okay she doesn't go to heaven but she smiles and then she uh she smiles and then she like leaves to go out to another boat and she doesn't have to even say goodbye to George Clooney is George Clooney there is George Clooney there George Clooney is on the tender to pick her up speaking of though when we were in New Orleans you and I we went to look at the garden district you know we took a tour from those people who weren't real well they weren't like licensed tour people or whatever they were just people on the street we just attached ourselves onto that tour group right yeah it was well we paid them or whatever but yeah it was like some kind of rigged thing but it was kind of fun and we were looking at the garden district and we saw sandra bullock's mansion and i was like this would be the coolest place for sandra bullock to die in her mansion just like i don't know haunt new orleans because she's just so sweet it would just be be like such a sweet haunting you know she would have the sweet, sweet haunting.

11:51And she'd have like an earnest plea to every, every house that she haunted. She'd be like, I just, I just, I want the best for you. And I just, I don't, I don't know how to do it. And I try my best, but, but this is all I can offer you right now. And you're like, Oh my God, ghosts. And they were like, well, she's not here that much. And I was like, is it because John Goodman's her neighbor? Because he was like one of her neighbors. And I don't know, like John Goodman's a good actor, but he always seems like he's in a bad mood. I feel like he would be a bad neighbor. yeah that was a great tour guide i seem to remember her wearing like a tie-dye shirt and then she uh gave us a ride across town afterwards yeah remember we piled into her daughter yeah her daughter's car she took us daughter's car because she had she took us to a parade she took us to a mardi gras parade that was fun okay so anyway um here we are now um they're checking tenders and nathan and joe start asking each other about their moms and um joe says that his mom is always asking about Nathan because of that night they had together and they start laughing.

12:52And then Sandy is, she sees them goofing off and laughing and she's like, hmm, I'm going to put that feather in my cap for later. Just saw boys laughing about something. Not sure what it was, but there will be no laughing on my boat. Have we forgotten our hero V who tied a bow line? Okay. Let's think about our heroes and less about our zeros. Sandy really is messing up because that's when the two boys are laughing. that's when Sandy's supposed to give like a hearty laugh and then look at the camera and then the camera freezes and it says and introducing Captain Sandra Yawn in the opening credits.

13:26But instead she goes, hmm, which is like you can't use that in a sitcom opening, right? Introducing Captain Sandra Yawn. You know, you're supposed to do the boys and then smile at the camera. So now it's time for the guest to depart. Carlos gives the chef a high five and hugs him and says, chef, you did your thing. Ate really well because of you. Carlos, get the fuck out of here. You complained about everything except the very last thing you ate. I loved when Josh put his makeup to good use and he appeared in his clown makeup and goes, this guy is a fucking clown. Absolutely, this guy is a clown.

14:07You don't get to be an absolute monster with the food and then you get to act like a hero, like the guy I'd be like, hey, good job, you. I'm like, no, no, you're a dick. Get out of there. Yeah, so then LaDonna cries with Aisha. And she says that, you know, coming from Chicago, this was a major reset and it's been a blessing. And then she hands him an envelope and cries her way down the dock. And Nathan's like, this tip is going to be shit. And third charter is done, guys. So then we see Nathan with Kizzy on the dock. And she's like, I can't wait to have a slutty night out. with Tommy, the love of my life, but not with Tommy, if you know what I'm saying, but definitely with Tommy.

14:51It's like, what mixed messages are you saying? And he was like, so are you? And she goes, yeah, I'm going to have a slutty night. And he goes, well, you want to break up with your boyfriend first? And she goes, yeah, I'll do that at some point in the next few days, probably. And he goes, well, let me know when you've done it. And she's like, yeah. Yeah, love to hear that. I'm sure. I'm sure Tommy loves this. So tip meeting. Okay. Chariter three Asia. you were willing to allow V as she's known in some circles to come on deck and support us. And thank you because you're a team player and V I'm just trying to be like the kids call you V your work ethic is incredible.

15:28Victoria. I had to say it, Victoria. Well, in this one charter, we learned that V is a really hard worker and we've learned that Kizzy has three VDs and they're very hard workers as well. So you know what, what a charter. We learn something every time, guys, don't we? Okay, now kudos, okay? Love those bars. Those are much better than Cushed Bars. Yeah, bring those kudos back. I didn't miss those kudos. Bring them back to the marketplace because those were delicious. I heard that Ben Mandelker from Watch for Crappens used to eat kudos bars as a snack at a Hebrew school and he loved them dearly with his five alive.

16:05So let's have that. Let's let other children have that experience. Okay, bring kudos back. Fucking kudos bars. I used to have, because they were like lower calorie. Well, they weren't lower calorie, but I guess it's better than a Snickers bar kind of thing. And so my mom would buy those and I would eat 10 of them, you know? So they were never healthy for me, but God damn it, they were good. God, I love them. So it used to be, I would go to Hebrew school after like regular school and there'd be snack time. And so my mom would always give me a granola bar with chocolate chips, like the Chewy brand and like a juice box.

16:38And that was my snack. but then when kudos bars came around we switched up from the granola bar simple granola bars to kudos and it's like life was never the same until it wasn't because kudos went away why did we let them go away why did we not support kudos just like true religion we're standing around waiting for the return of kudos i just want the rapture to happen so i can get kudos back the kudos bar a celestial light appears on a box of kudos bars and it goes up to heaven yeah that's the rewrite it's time for a commercial it's time for a crappin's commercial

17:22all right guys now the tip now this end um pants with uh pants that cover your ankles make your ankles cold okay that was a free tip for you But now monetarily, you know, success is about how much we pivot and rebound. Okay? So in this case, what I love is these charter guests actually left you. Are you ready to be sad? $40 ,000. You are winners. You are absolute winners. I was just kidding. The tip was really good, everybody. And everyone's like, oh, my God. Which I couldn't believe either. And I do think this is the highest tip in history. Never seen anything like this. Never. I was shocked.

18:02shocked$40 ,000. And when you think about the gays last season who spent five days on this boat and gave like what like$20 ,000 $10 or I mean doctor they really took the reins over from Dr. Contessa Dr. Contessa and Scott gave like$18 ,000. This is literally twice as much but at least Dr. Contessa and Scott had like a normal length but the gays wow that was just the worst thing ever. but yeah i did not see this happening i was like what i this is why i think that there was more than what that meets the eye i mean especially the fact that la donna was like in tears at the end of the charter i was like i feel like she probably had a whole experience that was lovely and full of bonding and all sorts of stuff happened and they just didn't even show it on camera i feel like there had to be more they just focused on the negativity instead $40 ,000.

18:57What kind of culture do we live under? I really do feel like if they were trying to be like, look, we complained about the food. We don't want to be awful. So let's give a good tip. I still think they would have left like 25 to 30, but 40, something had to have happened, right? I don't know, but it was good. So Joe's like, Jesus, did I show up at the right time? What? Sorry, Ben, go ahead. Sandra Bullock's in the doorway again as Captain Sandy reads the tip and she nods and walks out the room. yet again and we're first done um so they're all celebrating and um josh is like yeah i've got to make lots of money with my big tip got to make lots of honeys with my big dick i can't say that don't use that it just rhymed with tip shouldn't really and then it's just like oh it's the biggest tip i've ever heard it's gonna take me a long time to come down from this eye and then we go to a text message video that the crew sent to LaDonna and they're all dancing around singing thank you.

19:59Like, yes, LaDonna, yes. It is actually really cute. They're like so happy, as they should be. So then, hey, okay, Nathan and Asha, Nathan and Asha, come to Wind Central. Sorry, the episode's still playing a little bit. Okay, hey, you too, Asha, Asha and Nathan, I just want to give you an update, okay? Norma still has not gone on a date. I know it's been 10 years, but we're hoping maybe this weekend things will change. Okay. And that's for you too. I don't even like using the word update because it hurts Norma's feelings, you know? No date. We just say. Okay. I want to give you guys a no date.

20:37So we're even in the fields here. Oh, but you know what? So question, how is V doing on deck? Was she, how was she with the line handling? And are we open to calling her Victoria? because I think that's really what we should be calling her on this show. Oh, she was fantastic. You could tell she was nervous, but I like that she was nervous because it shows that she cares. I love that. You know, the boat does need four deck hands, so I'd like to keep Victoria on deck. That's what I'd like. Victoria on deck. Sounds good, doesn't it? Well, okay, well, that's fine. I mean, don't you both feel like she'd be great?

21:16I mean, think about it. V on the deck. It's like she's wearing a real V deck T-shirt. except it's called a v-neck but it's close, you know, if you think about it it's pretty close to a good joke there, right? Oh, sure. A v-neck is the capri pants of shirts. Yeah. Someday, a v-neck and a capri pant, they both go towards the center, but never the twain shall they meet, said someone once. My girl, my wife. I credit that to Skywizzy, personally. Well, she's so much happier outside, you can see it. He's like, yeah, you can see the joy in her. I've never heard people discussing somebody like this. It's so funny how they talk about V.

21:56She sounds like a pet. We should start letting the puppy out more. He just loves it. He's out there in the field, jumping around. I'd love to have him inside for cuddles, but he's a nature. He's a nature beast. Let him nature. Let nature nature.

22:15Don't worry. I'm going to get a new stewardess, okay? I'm going to call her up here and we're going to let her know together. Okay, let's bring her up here. V, come in here. You're not in trouble. We're officially shifting you to the dick team. She's like, oh, my God. Thank God. Thank God. Manual labor and moppy outside. Thank you. We did it, Joe. We did it, Joe.

22:43So it's like one of those jobs they make it a big deal when you're the employee of the month. They're like, guess what? Your picture is going above the Slurpee machine this month And you're like, oh my god, yes

22:57So, um, she's gonna be there And now, um, so Aisha's like Well, this is great, but if I don't get a great stewardess I might be less supportive Yeah, so, um, V's like From the bottom of my heart I would just like to thank you for seeing something in me You know, thank you guys so much I'd like to thank my parents. I'd like to thank my boyfriend. RIP. Miss you. Miss you. I'd like to thank God. I saw a beautiful cloud today shaped like a heart, and I felt it. And now look, believe in yourself. To all the children out there who don't believe they are worthy of holding a chamois, you can do this. Oh, my goodness.

23:40So, yeah, so V is going to be on the deck, which is exciting. and so Nathan's excited and everyone's excited and I mean V is really excited she's like hugging everyone she's like crying and it's going through a lot and so then she goes downstairs and she tells Kizzy and she's like I'm turning up on the outside and Kizzy's like but I'm excited for as long as I'm still the favorite on the interior I don't mind like you do know that another person's gonna come in and she'll probably be better than you and you have to do this all over again right so then uh captain sandy's gotta text norma she's like oh hey norma i no longer need a deckhand but i'm now looking for a stewardess so know of anybody available oh bloop wow so you're still unable to keep a crew that's that's good to hear uh still losing every day of your life huh i'll see what I can do, you stupid loser.

24:37Bloop. Wow. Well, maybe next time you shouldn't send me a deckhand and tell me it's someone for the interior. Maybe next time you should send me someone from the interior who's actually good for the interior. Maybe that's because you've never looked on the inside of yourself. Bloop. Okay there. Okay there, Ashram Sandy. Okay. Hey, maybe instead of asking for deckhands, I should be asking you to get your dick out of your hand. Hey, um, uh, you know what? I don't, I'd rather have a dick, a deck hand than a dick in my hand in the first place. Give me some better staff. How about that? Bloop. No one has ever had more staff than you.

25:23And I'm talking to the infections department, slutty McGee. Bloop. You know what? You're really messing me up Because I was riding a real high From the double header of wind And you're coming here with a lot of attitude And you're the one who messed up in the first place Norma I'm not joking right now Bloop bloop The only thing showing more wind than Netflix Is the inside of your head You stupid cow Bloop bloop You know what At least a cow could staff a boat better than you could Bloop Okay. You seem tired today. So go ahead. I've been through a lot. Go ahead and get your nap. I'll work on getting you a staff that's, you know, unfireable.

26:09Okay? Bloop. You know what? How about you work on a date that's un-walk-away-able? Bloop.

26:22Okay. I'll let you have that one. Have a good night, you dumb bitch. Yeah, you too. You have fun. You have fun alone as usual. So now it's time to go out and they get in the vans. And V is like, can we talk about boys real quick? What? Aisha. She's like, well, I can't tell if they're into me or not into me. And she's like, well, if you're down, they're down. They're men. They're men. What more do you need? Okay. All they're waiting for is a flag. Just put up your flag and they will try to conquer it, ma 'am. They will be there. So then Joe's like, oh, Izzy, she smells nice. And Max is like, bro, she Izzy, Jackal, you know, Jackal.

27:07And then Josh. Is that a compliment? I'm not sure what Max is ever saying at any given moment. Josh is like, I thought V was into you. He's like, oh, yeah, she's a sweetheart. So I'm telling you, he's more into Kizzy, but he's going after V first because V is available, but he's really into Kizzy. So Kizzy's like, who do you think would be the best Shaga? And Asha thinks Max because he would be a giver, which possibly. I feel like Max would last about one second. And they'd be like, go damn it, bro. Yelling at his wiener. Like, go damn it, why? He would literally go down on a girl for five seconds and then jump around and be like, yes, I did that.

27:50I did that. woohoo and he'd do like karate chops it would not be pleasant so um they all but they all believe that nathan would just get like all excited and wouldn't would be just more like oh my god oh my god oh my god so they get to a restaurant and they sit down they toast so they're a big tip and everything and joe is speaking spanish the wait staff which is which is really cool and max asking how he learned and you know we learned that um his his parents are still in liverpool and so last season, Joe just wanted to make his grandpa proud. This season, I'm just saving up right now for the day to buy an apartment for me, mom.

28:26I just want to buy an apartment for me, mom, in Spain. Whatever comes, the rest is for me. But that's all I want is an apartment for my mom and my mama's boy down at the bottom of it. Total fuck boy, this guy. I just, all I care about is me, mom. Oh, okay. So V's like, wow, you're really cute though. And Kizzy's It's like, could you pass me another cookie? And Joe's asking Kizzy if she misses the meat. Ah, you guys. It's burning off the screen. The chemistry is burning off the screen. Hilarious. So then Nathan and Joe go to the bathroom. And Kizzy's like, oh my God, I'm worried if I eat too much.

29:13So Nathan's like, bro, that's trouble right there. you know, that's real trouble. And Joe's like, yo, she's got a fella and she's flirtatious. I love how it's always the girl who's the trouble, not the fuck boy who just can't, who could make the decision to like not be, you know, an idiot. Yeah, I think they just mean like, there's trouble. Yeah, big trouble.

29:40And Joe's like, yeah, she's got a fella, but she's given game, aye. Oh, she's given game, But she won't go all the way, I'm telling you, right now. I'm telling you. So see, that's what he's worried about. He's like, do I choose the one that I possibly won't get laid with because she'll keep saying boyfriend over and over, or do I just go for the easier choice, like as far as getting laid, in his mind? So then he says he's doomed if he does or doomed if he doesn't because he'd either be a homewrecker or a heartbreaker. Fuck me. You don't have to be a heartbreaker. you could be a you're you're yeah you're doomed if you do and become a homewrecker or you could just date someone that you're interested in and just date them and not fuck around on them and break their heart well i think he means because the other girl has a dead boyfriend so if he has sex with her it's going to break her because she's very fragile broken bed broken bed so um he thinks kizzy is powerful and he's really attracted to her and Nathan can see the vibes.

30:43So much, bro. So then we go back to the table and Kizzy is asking Josh what his best memory is, which is kind of a terrifying question to ask someone like Josh. Yeah. And he's like, oh, well, I miss that. My mom and dad, you know, like I think when we got the first restaurant, we were all very close as a family. Quite literally, we were all in the same clown car together. Did I mention that earlier? We're not ever together anymore. Mainly because I show up at Christmas With this crazy paint on my face And terrorize the entire family And they said, Josh You can't come back to this house Until you stop dressing in your clown uniform So it's been unfortunate I don't get to take them anymore He's mad because his parents split And his mom got a new boyfriend Because God forbid she's alone You know, it's like, you know Because that's what society says You have to get a boyfriend So that's what she did And Kizzy's like, oh I really look up to your mother actually because that's what I think I'm like.

31:39You know, I just don't like being alone. I'm not good at distance. Touch is so important. And if I can't touch you, I'm like, where are you? Okay, Kizzy, if you just wanted to say you want to get laid, just say that. But don't make some guy open up about his broken family and then turn it into how you need to get laid. Yeah, exactly. Kizzy. Let the man grieve his mother who's still alive, but with a boyfriend. um so it's like my mom hurt me because she couldn't be alone oh my god i'm just like your mother actually i'm bored with you i'm not going to talk to you anymore

32:16because he's really going through it because he's like i've been in relationships for like most of my life and i kind of sometimes think oh have i missed out on that single period where you just literally flirt with everyone i'm like i don't think you've missed out on that part you're just doing it today everyone you're literally doing it today and you're 22 how much what do you mean you've been in a relationship your whole life get out of here you've been with this guy two months so now kizzy and v go to the bathroom and um joe's like oh look at those birds look at the birds so then um v stops because the stew in her said she has to fix a pillow.

32:55It's funny. So then Josh is now talking about V and he's like, you know, V is really, you know, I like Latina birds and Joe's like, yeah, full on relationship, you know, get to know you kind of. And Josh is like, yeah, I like her. Josh, you have no chance. I'm so sorry. Yeah. No. And you break down at dinner over your mom finding a boyfriend. Like you're not in this mix. My chef is so rarely. It's so rare that the chef is ever truly in the mix. They're just too weird and too like emotionally tangled up so we haven't seen that since malia and that was a disaster oh yes try to cut a cucumber so um yeah max is like oh joe is not my fan you know like normally i'm like the exotic french guy but now he just come and snatch so good for him good for him and joe's so romantic yeah joe's like kizzy she smiles at me and me both tingle it's just i mean it just chills so then max is like oh so guys what do you think about joe because they're back in the vans now and kizzy's like oh lovely boy and v says oh he's charming yeah oh he's great bro and then now we cut to joe and nathan and asia and asia's like oh i can really actually tell that kizzy is brilliant joe really big time yes i think she knows that that she's got a, because she knows she's got a boyfriend.

34:13She's like, well, I don't have the right to happy end of my movie, but I can tell that she certainly is. Yeah. And Joe's like, oh my God, what the fuck is my life? What the fuck is my life? Well, you've still got some hair. Just do whatever. Just make a decision. Okay. Cause it seems like you've already been annoying me for eight weeks now and you've been here for one episode. So just do whatever you're going to do. So now everybody goes to the club and Joe's all over Kizzy and V's watching it. and Josh and Aisha are doing a weird robot dance together, which is them. And now Nathan's talking to V and he's so proud of her and her work ethic reminds him of Gail and she's going to be so great.

34:54And now we go to Kizzy and Joe having a conversation and Joe's like, you know, you've got a boyfriend, so I don't know what to do with you, but you've got a smile in your eyes and my balls are tingled. So you know what you do. You know what you do, you bad girl. Oh, God. So Joe and V, Joe's talking to V and he's like, I want to have a serious conversation with you. And she's like, okay. Like, what's happened in the past about your boyfriend? I'm so sorry. Wow. Sure, she loves hearing that at the club when you're hitting on her. Like that's, God, nothing really, nothing says spitting game like saying, hey, sorry, your boyfriend died.

35:33Yeah. And she's like, I mean, it's fine. And he says, well, I don't want to like intrude on your personal space. And she's like, yeah, I wouldn't come here if I wasn't like ready. So take a seat. So he sits with her and they get all cuddly. And she's like, why would you bring it up now? And he's like, well, I'm bringing it up before anything goes further. Like, I don't want to be that guy that just comes in and then, you know, like jerk off and then ciao. You know, I want to jerk off and then make sure you're not crying while I leave you because that would make me look extra bad. It's like he's saying, oh, I was going to do this with you.

36:07I was going to come in. we'll have sex and then I'm just going to leave you. But now that I know that your boyfriend's dead, I just want you to know that like, I don't know if I can do that with you because that might be really hurtful to you. So I don't know if I can just, I don't know if I could just like tell you my usual lies and then go for someone else on the boat. So if you're wondering why I'm not making a move on you, that's why. And she's like, um, I appreciate what Joe was saying. Like one of the really hard things since bond died is that like, some guys just like, I don't know what to do.

36:32Like, do you guys want me to hold, do you want me to hold you? Like, do you want to cry? Like, do you want to leave the room? and they treat me like I'm fucking damaged. And like, I don't want that to be me because like, fuck that, you know? So then she then says to Joe along those lines, I was so heartbroken. I can't do that again. Not for a while. She's like, whatever. He's afraid to hurt me, but trauma builds character. Let's do this. I'm here for it. I'm not broken. So he's like, well, I can say that your hair straight is so fucking sexy. So now she sits on his lap and they're like, oh my God, yay.

37:05Picks her up. Then they head back in the vans. And then like at one point, like Joe and V get like really close and she like grabs his cheeks. Like she's going to kiss him. And she goes, do you want to just like, if you want to kiss me, it's not going to be in the back of a van. And he's also telling her things in Spanish. Like, Oh, you know, it's different. You know, with Kizzy, I like her, but it would just be for fun. But you have a soul and straight hair. Oh my God. Straight hair went all the time. I thought it was only curly. Oh, I do like that. I don't like, I don't just like it. I love it.

37:38she's like if you want to kiss me it's not going to be in the back of a van though it's going to be in tight quarters on the bottom of a boat yeah meet me in the broom closet so Joe slides down the steps of the boat and with his feet on the rails you know and he's kind of walking down the railings and now it's time for bed and Joe and Nathan are talking and Joe tells him about his talk with V and he's like oh she's fucking naughty mate She's naughty. And then Kizzy comes in. She's like, what are you guys talking about? What are you guys talking about? Like, nothing. She's like, oh my God, they're so fucking stupid.

38:13I'm just so confused. I want my 20s to be like full of fun and adventure, no regrets. And I think the most important thing is I've got to be honest with Tom. But I just feel guilty because I really do like Tom. I really do. So now she has to FaceTime Tommy and lay down the law. Okay, Tommy. So I know this is shit. And I've done some thinking. I don't even know how to word it. but I don't want to have any reservations whilst I'm here. So what I'm trying to say is I'm on a television show with like really hot guys and I really want to bang them and it works two ways because then I get to bang a hot guy and I get to be on TV more and I just don't know if I want to be stuck just FaceTiming you this whole time.

38:50I mean, look at your bangs. I mean, really. Like, it's just, I don't know. It's not very attractive. So I was kind of thinking maybe we break up then we can get back together after the television show when it's back to like regular world. I don't know. What do you think? and he's like, I don't get it. She goes, yeah, but you know what I'm like, right, Tommy? You know, I'm loud and flirty and crazy and all these things. He's like, yeah, and I love that about you. But I want to kiss someone. He's like, wait, what the fuck just happened? She's like, well, I don't want to hurt your feelings. He's like, well, I can't tell you how upset I am right now, but I'm very, very upset.

39:23But you just told me how upset you are. Well, not how upset. I was extremely upset. Extremely. And I don't want to talk about it. You just did, Tommy. And he's like, well, okay, but then fine. Don't hold back. Maybe we just won't speak for four weeks. I don't know. I don't really know what to say, to be honest. I feel like you've sort of made up your mind. Oh, don't speak for four weeks. Okay, great. Bye. Bye, Tommy. Bye. No, no, no. That was supposed to be a threat. I know. Poor Tommy. You've already lost this one. I like when she goes, Tommy, I don't want to have your feelings be dependent on my actions.

39:58Oh, okay. Tell me you've done this before without telling me you haven't done this before. So she basically dumps him and then pretends to cry in her face. And she's like, I fucking hate boys. What are you talking about? Every boy's been nice to you, including Tommy. You just dumped the boy. You're the one creating the drama, not the boys. They've been respectful of your boundaries. No, ma 'am. Well, anyway, that's funny. I think what finally pushed her is that she saw that Joe picked B. Yeah, of course. And so she's like, oh, God, I'm running behind here. God, she wins everything. First, she's the favorite in the cleaning crew.

40:36And then she gets moved outside. And now she's getting the hot new guy. I'm breaking up with Tommy. That's it, Tommy. You're done. Bye, Tommy. Well, fun episode. I'm glad those vegans are gone. And we'll be back with more episodes later this week. Thanks, everyone, for being here. It's a fun time. Watch out for that wind and other scheduling changes. And we will catch you in the next episode of Crappins. Bye, everyone. Bye, bye.

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