#3065 RHOSLC S608: Girl War Z

0:20Well, hello, and welcome to Watch What Crabins, a podcast about all the crap we love to talk about on ye old bruvs. I'm Ronnie, and that is the gorgeous and talented Ben Mantelker over there. Hello, Ben. Hi, Ronnie. How are you? I'm wearing my Fudge College sweatshirt today. Isn't this fun? Yeah, you do have your Fudge College going on. That's a cute... Those are great sweatshirts. It's a great sweatshirt. A great sweatshirt. We love a gift. Our friend made these for us. And of course, she works at fashion magazines. Of course, she would get us a really nice quality. Oh, not just a fashion magazine.

0:58Someone from Vogue made us. Okay. I was trying to like, I was like, I don't know if she would get in trouble or not. If I mentioned the publication. We won't mention her name. Someone in Vogue is in trouble today, but we'd know who's making sweatshirts to say fudge college under Vogue's brand. Fine. Anna Wintour herself sat us down and said, you guys need fudge college sweatshirts. And here we are. Or as we call her wig. We're just kidding. It's actually Candace Bergen's daughter. Now runs Vogue. Greatest Nepo baby story of all time. Yeah. So we hooked that up. So thank you for that. And also, everybody, thank you for being here with Watch What Crap Is.

1:38Okay. This is a Real Housewives of Salt Lake City episode. Monday, we will be doing Amazon Live at 4 p.m. Pacific time. And then we're off to BravoCon. BravoCon, we are moderating the Next Gen NYC panel. It's the last panel of the entire con. And it's the first time that that cast will ever be in a reunion type setting. So we're very excited to meet all the kids over there. And so we hope you guys can come to that. Whoever's going to BravoCon, we will also be doing a meetup at BravoCon. Details will be announced probably that day or the day before. So you'll have to check our socials to figure out where that is.

2:20But that's going to be a free event. We just want to hang out with you guys and meet you, anyone who's there and party together. That would be so fun. So we hope you guys can come. Okay. So just keep checking. Watch what crap wants on Instagram. You know what? We want to bring together the Bravo community. So all of our content creator friends, the listeners, let's just have a big fun party. And also we only have two dwell hellos left because guess what? That's going to be it for dwell. Hello. We decided that we're going to wrap it up. Okay. Dwell goodbye. Okay. Dwell goodbye. We love dwell hello, but we need to like, you know, like open up our bandwidth a little bit.

3:02So two dwell hellos left. And if you know of some crazy, crazy, crazy house hunters episodes, international or domestic that we have not covered, because we've covered a lot of the crazy ones. There was the guy in Bangkok who made the fried chicken. there's been he's really the craziest one there's the guy with the with the um the was it the hobby corner the hobby hole or something like that the castle in ireland yeah the murder hole the swingers the nudists the people who moved on i mean we want some extreme episodes so and they need to be on hbo max or youtube tv so um just email us at watch what crap or watch what crap is at gmail.com and just put in the site the title uh dwell hello suggestions so those will be the final two dwell hellos okay so we're excited for that and um just gearing up to go into holiday time so many things are happening we got the vanderpump rules trailer this week we just did a trailer trash for that we got the beverly hills trailer yesterday so we'll do that for next week's bonus episode so yeah lots of crazy stuff leading into this year that's about to be new wow wee but today yeah but today uh we've got real housewives of salt lake city season six episode eight um talk about i don't know what this one's about to be new right every moment you never know when a new face is going to pop off one of these people you know it's like cutting off the cutting off a worm it just grows back the other way yeah or like total recall where the face opens up and there's a face inside Yeah.

4:44Or like that movie Face Off. I want to take your face off. God, I love that movie. People don't realize this about me. I talk about gay movies all the time. Big business, soap dish, bullets over Broadway. What people don't know is that I love Face Off. I love that movie. I remember seeing it in the theaters and I was like, my mind has been blown. I don't think I've ever seen such a good action movie. And to this day, it is probably my number one favorite action movie. I even have the score. I have the soundtrack. of the orchestral soundtrack to an action movie. It doesn't make any sense. I love that movie so much.

5:16It's a little insight into me. Yeah, well, there you go. You've never even had facial work. You see? Can't wait till you actually get it. Justice for C.C.H. Pounder's character. That's all I have to say. You know what? Justice for all of C.C.H. Pounder's character. Like, does she ever get justice in anything? She never does. She's always getting the raw end of the stick in everything. Okay, so here we are on the below deck down under crossover. It's day two. Dun, dun, dun. So the crew's prepping for breakfast, so all we hear is squeaking. You know, it's like squeak, squeak, squeak while they're squeaking the boat.

5:54And Bronwyn has slept outside. And she slept outside in Melissa Gorga's Italy pajamas, you know, because there's lemons all over them. And she's just out there sleeping, sleeping outside, which is kind of sad. But the other option was sleeping with Brittany. so well i also want to just like i also want to put something out there i want i want to propose something she had a third option which is to sleep on the sofa inside in the living room like why not why not why did you why did you sleep on a chair under like under the under the elements where you got rained on overnight like you know there was a perfectly good sofa indoors that we've seen other people on blow deck sleep on well i don't know but i think it sounds nice you know whenever you're on a trip like that.

6:38We're like, Oh, I'm going to sleep under the stars and wow, luxury. And then it rains on your ass. Yeah. Well, but then there was a fourth option too, which is to tell Brittany, Oh, I heard that on this boat, lots of Dick shows up in the middle of the night. It's like the Santa Claus, a Dick, just Dick Dick's going to be coming on this boat. Nobody knows when nobody knows where, but they generally party outside and Brittany would just stay out there. Dick of Claus, you know? Yeah. Just, just say that Jared Osmond is, is waiting for her on the deck and she'll just go running out there and then just lock the door behind her.

7:09Yeah, or just say, oh, you know what? Your daughter is going to be calling me to ask you questions in the middle of the night, but I don't get reception outside. She'd just go out there. Yeah, exactly. Oh, Andrew Lloyd Webber's outside. Oh my God. Let her run out there. There's so many ways to trick Brittany. The fact that Bronwyn wasn't able to actually do that to her is upsetting in many ways because I feel like it's an easy victory for Bronwyn, But also for people who don't watch Below Deck, I'm hoping that there was a scene on a recent Below Deck where Captain Carrie fooled a very drunk person into going into a room and then he locked her in the room.

7:46And I want that to become a trope. I want that like at least once per season, someone gets tricked into a room and then they get stuck in there. And I feel like this is a real way to kind of like amp that up. And Bronwyn could have done that and didn't. Alas, she didn't. So she's waking up on the deck and she's like, oh, my guys, guys, have you, am I in your way? Am I in your way? Sorry, I had to sleep outside. They stuck me with a horrible slut. So I had to sleep outside instead. It rained on my head. So that was, that was great. It was probably, it was Lisa's fault. Lisa did this to me. So can I have some water and a Dr.

8:21Pepper? That would be great. I know it's weird, but you know, I also am someone who wears inflatable dinosaur costumes to the airport and married a grandfather. So, you know, weird is kind of my thing. So then - I'm surprised I don't identify with Bronwyn Moore. I like like really bad fashion. And I also love Dr. Pepper, but still don't really love her. But Dr. Pepper will - You don't like tight asses. You don't like tight asses. And that's going to negate all those other things. Yeah, I guess. So then we go to Heather and Whitney and they're waking up and Heather's pulling the whole, like what even happened last night?

8:56Oh, we're not falling for that again, Miss Black Eye. Black Eye storyline. Black Eye tease. So then Whitney is like, she's like, we drank a lot. And Heather goes, yeah, what happened? You were a baller. There was nothing that happened in last night's episode that said that Heather was a baller. Not even if you were on Heather's side. Not even if you didn't believe she was gaslighting Lisa Barlow. There's nothing baller about anything that happened last night. And so Heather's like. But they love it because they're always planning on every season. and it's like, let's go after Lisa, let's go after Lisa.

9:27So they do it and they're like, you did great. You were a baller. The thing is with Lisa, she's our good friend in this sisterhood of women. And I don't want her to like look at our friendships like it's a scorecard, you know, count our money, know all of our dirty deeds, you know, all the skeletons in our closet. If she's our friend, then be a friend, says the woman who sat down and pointed a finger at Lisa Barlow on national television and said, you leaked everything to the press and then act shocked that Lisa Barlow was upset at her. And then she's going to be like, but I'm being a friend to you right now.

10:04I don't know. This is not me being team Lisa. This is just me being team Heather's totally ridiculous, hilarious, and ridiculous in the last episode. So our friend Hannah is over here staying with me for a few days with her family. And so last night was our first day here and we had a great time. And of course we have to watch housewives together because that's what you do with one of your friends you know it's like let's let's sit down and bond again over one of our favorite things to bond over housewives so we had a few glasses of wine and and ripped some housewives and so she was uh she's been traveling for a few weeks so she hasn't seen the last few episodes so we watched three episodes before this when i tell you how obvious it is what heather's doing especially when you know what's going on now and then when you watch all the episodes leading up to this and if you think about the whole season of what she's been doing, what she does kind of every season, which has been the whole season.

10:56Heather's been going, you know, I just love Lisa so much, but we all know Lisa and we know what Lisa does. She spreads stories. She digs up the dirt. She just digs up the dirt and then she brings the dirt. But it's always you guys bringing the dirt and then blaming Lisa. But she's been laying the foundation for this the whole season very clearly in every episode. I don't know what Lisa's laying the dirt about, but it's something. And then, uh-oh, it's Bronwyn. It must have been Lisa. I mean, it's just so heavy-handed what she's been doing the whole time. And then we were watching the episode, I guess it was last week, when they were confronting Bronwyn, when Bronwyn comes to the lunch table.

11:38And Whitney's like, yeah, but how are you, Bronwyn? and so they start asking her and it's heather who's grilling her with every single question okay well this one this arrest was this time but then you had this other charge and this was only four years so what about this charge so it was her with all the details lisa wasn't even asking anything she was just sitting there like don't you guys have twitter i think heather just wants to extricate herself from the lisa barlow friendship and not even because she doesn't like lisa barlow i think She just knows that like, like you've got to shake it up every few seasons and be like, okay, this is the season where we fight.

12:13This is the season where we are friends. And I think she's ready to extricate herself, but she doesn't want to be the bad guy. She doesn't want the narrative of like, Heather and I were totally friends. And then suddenly she stopped being friends with me. So she has been slowly building a narrative of like, I'm trying to be friends to this lady, but I'm having these nagging doubts that I don't want to believe. And I'm giving her every opportunity to prove me wrong. And all she does is prove me right. and it's terrible, but I'm going to have to reluctantly leave this friendship. That's what she's building up towards.

12:40I kind of wish she'd be like, Heather, just feud. Just chill. My God, just chill. And I also think she's addicted to the fame she got from the Monica thing. Like, I have just uncovered a huge scandal. I am the new detective of Bravo. And so now she wants to find some new mystery that she can get to the bottom of every year. It's like, she's now in charge of whoever's been talking to the blogs, you know, so that's her big thing. Like, well, this season, we're going even closer in our investigations. We're going to our own sisters. Yeah, I think that there's a little bit of an element of trying to chase the high of that season four finale, and that's, it'll be like, that was a generational finale.

13:25We're not going to see that for another like 10 or 15 years. Yeah, so stop trying every single season to have another thing. And then Hannah's main question, I think, for the for the episodes we watched was what are the teeth? I guess because she's not used to watching on such a giant TV. And Heather and Brittany, I mean, those twin teeth coming out at you on HD is something else. It's given a little bit of like a doc from the Muppets. So Whitney is like, wow, you were down on that pad in the water for a long time. I know. And I just kept saying, listen, this is where we're at. But she just said, I didn't do it.

14:00She just kept on saying it. So we see a flashback of them on the naughty boys, which is what those are called. I feel like I have to explain things to the non-below deck watchers. Cause like, we know the lingo. We sort of are like yachties at this point. So they're on the naughty boys. And Lisa's like, I'm going home. I'm going the distance all the way to Utah. And Heather's like, you're not fucking going home, Lisa Barlow. Don't you ever ask me to admit something I would never do. But like, I think you're the source of the dirt, Lisa. And I love that Heather says it. Like, like I'm being just a good friend to you right now that this is what I honestly feel and like I'm being honest aren't I a good friend by accusing you of this thing that like probably just came from Reddit instead?

14:40She's like yeah I think you feed it and then you keep your hands clean and she's like no I would never fucking do that I would not even fucking know this because everyone tells you everything which so what so what so people come to me to gossip so how does that make me the originator of the gossip? I don't know this is house wise we're allowed to gossip leave me alone and she's like, I didn't leak it. I never leak stuff. Like, why am I blamed for everything? And she's like, because you know what? If I have a question about anything, I come to you, Lisa, because you know, okay, so what do you matter?

15:13Wikipedia now too? Heather is trying to do some funky manipulation here where she's like, look, if I have a question or anything I want advice from, I go to you. And I don't know why you're shying away from that. It's a good thing that everyone wants to give you their privileged information and that you spread it to the media. That actually shows how much people trust you. Heather's, the way she keeps skewing this, it's actually like reprehensible, but I find it to be so funny because it's so shameless. And I really do believe, and this is not any sort of bias towards anything or anyone. I really do believe that in this case, I do believe this was just stuff that like fellow internet sleuths have dug up.

15:52I just don't think that Lisa Barlow found this information. I think that she's just getting blamed for it because she doesn't know how to handle. She doesn't know how to handle herself in these situations. She always acts so guilty all the time. Yeah, because really the accusation is, okay, if Lisa leaked it to the blogs, then the accusation there is that Lisa went and looked up all of this information, right? Like got a PR person or whatever. Or is the accusation that she heard it from somebody, she heard it from one blogger in a DM and then leaked it to another blogger? I mean, I just don't understand even the accusation.

16:27But it is pretty funny watching Heather just totally commit to gaslighting. But all you have to do is admit it. Listen, I'm saying that you're talented enough to be a mayor, a mayor of betrayal town. OK, so you betray your sisters. It's not that big of a deal. We've all got our quirks. All she had to do was admit it or say she was sorry for things she's done in the past or that she was going to make efforts moving forward. But she refused to even give us bullshit lines to get us to quiet down. She refused to do anything. She refused to be honest And that definitely changed our dynamic In this sisterhood My fingers going back and forth Yeah so Whitney's like Well but what do you do When someone but We know that they're doing it But then they say they're not Doing it then what do you do Yeah you mean to say Keep scoring every single thing in our lives You want to take that line from the top Whit Um What do you do When someone says a score But then you're like What game is on Okay No we're going to use the metaphorical keep score Give it another try Stop bullying me just because I have red hair Yeah You just will deny and deny And deny And then after that you deny and deny And then you're like Lisa And she just denies and deny And deny and deny and deny Okay, Whitney, we get it.

17:56Oh, sorry. Like, what do you do at that point? You just reframed the friendship because you can never be true friends. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crapins commercial.

18:12So then we go to Lisa and Meredith and they're in bed and, you know, Meredith's trying to sleep and Lisa is just, you know, going crazy while she's scrolling through her phone, like aggressively, you know, doing the like nervous scrolling where you're just so mad. You're like, oh my God. everyone's parties that you weren't invited to just scrolling past. And she's like, literally, literally, like, you know what I did last night? I learned, like, a lot about who people are. And it's fucking ugly. Like, nobody would have something. Like, no one would, you know, why would you say admit it? Like, that's not even a question.

18:41That's not a friendship. It's fucking bullshit. It's bullshit where it is. You know what? I can't take it anymore. You know what? And everyone's saying, like, I'm just hoping everyone wakes up. And it's like, I was awful to my friend. I was awful to them. Like, you, Meredith. I hope you have a dream and remember how awful I'm not What are you talking about me I did try to stand up For you Meredith just has her mask on she's like takes it up She puts it on her head she's like What do you think I said Lisa I didn't use your Words but I because I don't Speak like you but I gave them the same message Which is that when they were attacking You I shrugged and said well I don't know about that which I think was A very strident defense of You When they came after you I said well there are Only so many coincidences That's all I said It was basically you know A stop speech for you I don't know why you're upset I basically said well I'll have to Think this over later today At the mommy and me screening I'm having with my toddler When we go and see Some movie at the multiplex Haven't chosen the one just yet But keep an eye out for what my review will be.

19:52Sorry. Yeah, but you know what? It's like a different level of, like, you know, respect and, like, support. So, like, you're just giving me, like, a different level of support than I need. Okay? Like, I need, like, a better level of support. Don't tell me I don't support you. Okay? I'm sitting here and I'm trying. Did I not tell you to open up the hangar so the airport could come in with some food last night? And did you open up the hangar? No, you didn't. Did I have to ground my plane? I did. And it's not fair to the people on that plane that they didn't have a hangar to land in, if you know what I'm saying.

20:25So I'm the only one who's trying and you're yelling at me and that makes me angry and it hurts me. Yeah. So we go to Bronwyn getting her Dr. Pepper on board with high stress Daisy. I just love watching like how Daisy's always so stressed. Like she's always kind of like moving back and forth on her feet like she's ready to run. like it's a very high intensity like war going on she's always like watching a bird they're they're walking they're walking down the hole captain they're walking down the hole captain here they come calm down you know like when birds walk around because they're like so used to flying but then when they walk around on the ground they're always like so skitterish like but they're like looking for like maybe that bread and they're like gotta go and then they fly off that's like Daisy.

21:11I'm looking for my bride. Can't find it. She's just so high intensity. Even when she comes into the room to ask for food stuff, she's like, Mary, Mary. Hi there. Mary, it's me, Daisy. Okay, so you don't want shrimp, but he's gonna do a wahoo. Is that okay for you? That's a whitefish. Is that all right? All right. That's all right. All right. That's all right. All right. I'll get on it. Get on the wahoo emergency. I got that done in time. So Bronwyn's saying, It's just like, well, I slept on the deck last night because things aren't good with Brittany and me. She's mad at me for telling everybody what she said when we went shopping.

21:47And I'm irritated with her for running her mouth in general. Which is funny because it was Bromlin just last year who was being shady talking with Heather, etc. And then Heather was like, I'm going to put Bromlin on blast for all the stuff that she was saying behind everyone's back in that car ride. And then Bromlin was like, I was just being shady. And now Brittany tries to do it. And Bromlin just steps into the Heather role and outs her. The difference is that Bronwyn is like, I mean, sorry, Brittany is like a hilarious punching bag. And so they just do this to her all over and over again. But it's nice to see that Bronwyn has no memory of the hell that she went through last season.

22:22She doesn't even have a memory of what she went through this season with all the charges. I mean, she started this whole season being like, Lisa Barlow, you want to talk about charges? You know, look at Lisa Barlow and everything she's going through. and all the money she owes. She's already forgotten that even. So now we see a flashback to Bronwyn and Brittany getting ready for bed and Brittany being like, you know, if this is how we're going to sleep, this is going to be really hard for me to sleep. And she's like, you know what? I'm going to go sleep outside then because I'm going to go sleep on one of those chairs upstairs.

22:55And Brittany, I do not need this, Brittany. I do not need this from you. So I will not sleep with you. I won't do it. So Bronwyn's like, yeah, pool chair. Shockingly enough. It's not, it's not the most comfortable bed in this meg yacht that we're on, but whatever, I got rained on. So then we see Brittany, I'm sorry, Whitney and Brittany and Heather and Angie, and they're on the mid-deck patio. And Angie, who has just suffered through a day of puking, is like, uh, like, hello, oppa. I feel like I missed out on such a great night. Luckily, today will be wonderful. No more puking and my hands will be fully intact by the end of the evening.

23:32Oppa. And then Lisa just comes out. She's like, oh, wow, look who's back from the dead. Hi. And then everyone just stares at her. Like, oh, my God, Lisa is here. And they just all pause. And it's like, what? What, you guys? She just like sits there, stares at them playing with her hair. You know what? I'm going to go check on breakfast. I'm going to go check on sisterhood breakfast. Because we are women. Women deserve breakfast. Can I come? I want to see if there's any moussaka on the menu. I need to find something in the kitchen. I've got to get juice or something or I don't know, do my hair or something or another.

24:06Let me out of here. And I need to change into a swimsuit. I'm going to go to. You're already in a swimsuit. I'm going to go change. I'm going to go change into a suit swim. I'll be back to Lisa's like, OK, really obvious, really obvious, you guys. So they all mean girl her. And then Brittany, she's left alone with Brittany. Brittany comes out and she's, and of course, Brittany's question is, but are we good though? Are we good? I'm mad at me, right? Does anyone like me? Yeah, no, I'm like, I'm totally good. Like I'm totally like fine. Like I would tell you if you're like, we weren't good. Right.

24:43And if we weren't good, I would either tell you or just like tell a whole bunch of other people first. Okay. And so Brittany's like, are you still mad at Heather? Listen, I talked to Heather. I love Heather. I love that. And I love Heather. But what happened last night is like, not okay. It's like, not okay. yeah but the thing that really bugs me is that bromelain and i were in a really good spot this isn't about you britney jesus so bromelain and i were in a really good spot i mean like we never hung out she asked to go shopping with her and then she uses everything against me and then we see a clip of that where stupid britney's trying on clothes and brom was just like and how do you feel about meredith okay and how do you feel about lisa hater okay okay got it yeah Yeah, got it, got it.

25:30So Brittany's like, I mean, she pulls it out of me like, ooh, I'll be nice to you so you can tell me things. Then use it against me. Okay, yeah, Brittany, like, she did it to you before. And like, you are responsible for you. And the bottom line is, like, I've never done anything to Bronwyn. And she, like, lied about me when it came to the grandpa hunts. And all last year, she let people think I hurt her daughter. And she asked me to do something. And then that turned on my. And by the way, Bronwyn can hear all of this because she's like sitting there with her Dr. Pepper upstairs, but she can hear everything that they're saying.

26:03So Brittany's like, wait, she asked you to reach out to the family? She goes, yes, she asked me to meet with the grandparents and to facilitate. It's in writing. It's in writing. Dismissed. Dismissed. And we see the text from Bronwyn to Lisa, which says, hi, and Gwen and I talked. Uh-huh. Nodding emoji. and if you, you know what, if you wouldn't mind reaching out to them and explaining that this came up, you know, G is willing to meet if they are. I'm so sorry to put you in the middle, but I know you offered and maybe it's the best way to approach them. Heart emoji, nodding emoji, nodding emoji, nodding emoji, nodding emoji.

26:36And Lisa responds with, I'm happy to, I'm happy to. Yeah, happy to. So then Angie and Mary are joining Brahman on the upper deck and Angie's like, hello, is this where you slept? No way, you really slept up here. And she's like, yeah, but we should move because if you want to talk shit about people, this is just a teeny tiny little boat. And Brittany and Lisa are talking fucking loud about me downstairs. So to ensure that they have some privacy while they talk shit about me. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I can hear every fucking word. Those two loudmouths just said that they mentioned grandparents and they mentioned Gwen.

27:10And I am livid now. And maybe we should go over here so they can't hear me talking shit about them because I, you know, I'm going to go talk shit about them. but it's different because I'm doing it over in this section. I'm not doing it where I was just drinking a Dr. Pepper. It's like, okay. They're doing it on my bed. Can you believe they're talking shit about me on my very own bed? Like, sure. They come into my home. They come into my home to talk shit about me. So they go sit with her. And then Angie's like, why did you move out of your room? She's like, oh my God, Brittany, same shit with Brittany.

27:43I mean, I just, I reached out to Brittany. I said, let's go shopping. She told me Meredith has seizures and crashes out and screams at her. And then she gets furious with me because I threw her under the bus. But then she says, I don't want to sleep with you. And I said, okay, well, you know what? I don't particularly want to sleep in our room either. So have fun sleeping next to a blow up shark. You bitch. Yeah, you're vomiting. Everyone else is screaming at each other. And I mean, it's just like, it's just the fucking truth, Angie. You were vomiting for 18 hours. By the way, just to clarify again, in Brittany's feeble defense, she did not say Meredith was having seizures.

28:15she said Meredith gets so mad it's like a seizure of emotion or whatever it was like a seizure but she didn't say that Meredith is having seizures and Bronwyn totally misrepresented that but in a way I'm glad because then we had last week Meredith like there are people in my family who had a seizure including my child how dare you talk about my child seizures are not inherently funny but this show somehow made them funny so yeah now Bronwyn's all mad that they were talking shit about her you know on the deck or whatever so then Meredith and Meredith Heather and Whitney joined them and now people are starting to feel seasick again because it's swaying a lot so Lisa comes out and she's trying to start kind of a new day she's like okay guys I might want some Bryce Lutz and everyone just looks at her like oh my god Lisa Barlow's here so So then Heather's like, okay, guys, I think that today we should have a little break and have some fun.

29:19Today's an island adventure. We're going to go to the Tobago Key and we're going to snorkel, swim. This is a chance for us to disembark and, you know, just have zombie night. So let's have a great day today. Okay. What are you announcing that you need a positive day? You're the one who's starting fights. I know. And I love the idea of like, hey, guys, let's just let's let's not fight today. Let's go have a zombie night instead. That'll solve everything. So and just like, I don't know if the yacht life is for me. Let's see. And Heather's like, well, you're getting your seed legs or as I call them, your sisterhood legs.

30:00So, yeah. So then Bronwyn's like, hey, listen, if you're, you know, can I just come stay in your room tonight, Mary? And Mary's like, no, absolutely not. She goes, well, that's a crowd. Two is a company, three is a crowd. That's three people that might make fun of my farts. And it takes me a lot of time to open up to somebody. And he's like, I mean, you can still sleep with me. I'm not going to hurt you. You're not going to hurt me. It's fine. She's like, I'm not interested in sleeping in a bed. Then maybe you brought one of the crew into. And she's like, what? Yeah, because last time I saw you up here, you were trying to get one of the crew to come downstairs with you.

30:34And she's like, no, I wasn't. and we see the clip of Brittany flirting with Captain Jason. I was like, Bronwyn, she is just flirty, and she's no more flirty. In fact, she's significantly less flirty than Heather is with Captain Jason, and this is crazy. I'm sorry. This is a crazy character assassination on our sweet Chanteuse, Brittany. Well, she would have. I mean, Brittany would have bragged about it, first of all. It wouldn't be such a slam. It's only a slam to Bronwyn. She's like trying to slut shame. You can't shame the shameless, okay? Brittany's like, really? Someone came to my room? Who was it?

31:10Was I there? Why didn't anybody tell me they were in my room? Who were they? Tell me who they are. I'll get them right now. I'll get them right now. But she's like, I didn't get laid. And then we see Captain Jason debuffing her advances. And she's like, yeah, did you or did you not? Tell Captain Jason, I'd love to get out of here. Got her, got her. She's like, no. She's like, well, I mean, the girls were saying he is coming out of your room last night to me. I don't know. They're terrible. These girls are terrible. Then Brittany's like, why are you even talking to me? I don't know. That's a bad idea.

31:50I love that. Brittany's like, why are you even talking to me, Meredith? Yes, Brittany. Brittany's saying that he was there to fix the AC, which is not really the captain's duty, but we do see a flashback that she's in her room and she has a toothbrush in her mouth, which is sort of suggestive. And she's like, it's really hot in here. I don't know. Am I not doing the AC correctly? It's something I need a captain to help me with. He's like, all right, let's see what's in here. Oh, I see the problem. You've got your AC wrapped up in a kimono. I'll just take that off and bring it back to my quarters.

32:20Thank you. You too can have a kimono, Captain Jason Kimono at home for only$400. Visit kimono.com. What's this kimono company again? I forgot. We looked it up. I don't remember. I sometimes forget that$400 kimono. I was like, girl, this kimono going to blow me? I don't think so, sir. I know. I forget sometimes that our Real Housewives audience may not be familiar at all with the fact that Captain Jason is a fan of kimonos and sells them. But yeah, he loves a kimono. Okay, so then we see him come to check her air conditioning and no sexual stuff happened. And when he left, she was still standing there with her toothbrush hanging out of her mouth.

33:00So she's like, no one was in our room last night. Just my little unicorn and me. Good night, baby. You are loved. So Jared Osment, TM. I'm a soldier of love. Like Uncle Donnie's saying. So Lisa is saying, okay, guys, enough with the pylon, okay? Captain Jason's not interested. It's like dumb, right? Like back me up on this, Daisy. Daisy, Daisy, okay, why is she running around so much? Okay, Daisy, come on. Is he interested? Say no. Say hard no. Hard nod, Daisy. She's like, I have no idea. Honestly, I just try not to pay attention to anything the guys do on these boats anymore. Yeah, but it's like ridiculous.

33:39You know what? I want to stand up for my friend, Brittany, because like nobody wants to sleep with Brittany. Am I right? Like nobody wants to sleep with her. You know what? If I was Captain Jason, I wouldn't want my name dragged through the mud as someone who slept with Brittany. I mean, look at her. Right, Brittany? I'm sticking up for you. She's like, geez. Thanks. This just invites Bronwyn to do her signature head nod slash adjust the sunglasses a little closer to her eyes set up to go. Oh, come on. I can't even sit on the deck without hearing you and Brittany talking shit about me downstairs saying I'm a snake.

34:11I've done this to Brittany before. I've done it to you bringing up my fucking daughters and grandparents again. How could you do that? Oh, God. Here we go. How dare you bring up my daughter? How dare you? All she said was what happened. And for those of you who don't remember what happened last year, Bronwyn had this whole storyline about the grandparents of her daughter and how they mistreated her and this and that. Lisa knows the grandparents. So she had a really nice scene with Lisa where she talked about it and they brought up the fact that they could all reconcile. And then Bronwyn texted Lisa and said, yeah, you know what?

34:47It would be great if you told them that we talked about this and maybe we can reconcile. And then Lisa does contact the grandparents. And then Bronwyn brings up on camera like, you betrayed me by going to the grandparents. You completely betrayed me. How dare you do this to my daughter? And totally misrepresented that, which she does everything on this show. And now she's misrepresenting what she heard again to make it sound like Lisa sitting down there talking about her daughter. I do think that there's a good amount of misrepresenting on this show, too, where people just resent the wrong things.

35:22don't misresent me um stop yelling at me stop yelling at me you are the queen of fucking yelling at people so do not talk about my child or her grandparents again we had this agreement and so we see them at like the the vita tequila premiere lounge and uh where they're agreeing like lisa says i will never mention again full stop full stop so brahman's like and then you're standing on the back of the fucking boat saying it to britney she's like yeah i did say it to Brittany. I did. I did. Yeah. Yeah, everyone. Yeah, I did. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. Stop talking about my fucking child. I'm not talking about your child.

35:55I'm not talking about I'm not talking about your child. You know what? Stop talking about it because I swear to God I'm standing up now and if you can't agree to not talk about people's kids, okay. This is deflecting. Sit down. Just sit down. No, you're deflecting. You're deflecting. Mary's like, this would be a great time for Angie to go ahead and get back sick because then we could go back to that quiet space. just be quiet that'd be great what do they keep what do they keep misusing the word deflecting she's not deflecting she's saying yeah i said that she's like you're deflecting no i said it you are deflecting yep i said it i don't think they know what deflecting means so then uh lisa's like you know what i okay i don't want to say anything about anyone's kids i try really hard to do the right thing okay and then she's like bullshit you know what you do You dig up dirt on people, Greek or not, and you talk about them behind their Greek backs, and you pretend to be their friend.

36:53And even just a few weeks ago, you were talking about Bronwyn with your hair over your face like this, saying, yeah, Todd was making out with one of my friends while farting the entire time. She's like, wait, wait, you know what? I didn't say it was one of my friends. I didn't say it was one of my friends. If you're going to gossip about me, get the full story right. I told a waiter who wasn't even a friend. Are you fucking kidding me, Lisa? And she said, no, you said one of my hot friends. No, because she's not that hot. She's actually one of my ugly friends. Sorry, you got the wrong friend. Tell the story right next time.

37:28Let me back up. About a month ago, Lisa had her charity luncheon, her clarity luncheon, sorry, where she kissed all of our athletes. And so we see that and Lisa toasting, you know what? I love each and every one of you. even when I'm at it yo like I still love yo I still do you guys hold on let me comb my finger with two fingers my hair with two fingers let me comb it and Angie's like and then we went to dinner at her club so we sat there and then she pulled her hair over her face like this and said Todd was making out with one of my friends while farting the entire time I love the need to include the farting part too like the Todd is making out with one of my friends is like a pretty big bomb to drop and then she's like and i'm also gonna add that he farted the entire time because i guess this is the thing this season laughing i so fucking hard at this and i'm just imagining todd at home great i told him not to go on this cruise to talk shit about me and lisa barlow now you've got this greek one santa far while i make out with secretaries first of all they were silenced but deadly so you can't trace it back to me so i don't really know if it came from me in the first place.

38:41Okay? And second of all, my doctor did say I have to check my hearing, so maybe we'll circle back to point number one. But the point is, you don't know what worthers do to a man's digestive system. Hey, you know what I gotta say to you, Angie? The one who smelled it nailed it. Is it, Pop? The one who denied it supplied it, though. Did you just eat my cherry? I'm sorry about that. It was a bad habit. The one who did the rhyme committed the crime. Is it possible that Lisa's friend said oh my god I just made out with an old fart Is it possible that that's what happened Oh my god she was making out with Todd And he was farting the whole time I just think that's so Todd To be making out like

39:29Hold on let me check my notifications on my palm Pilots if anything came in

39:39so so and just like I didn't want to tell Bronwyn I didn't want to tell Bronwyn especially like this but Lisa coming across like she's a good friend and always tries to do the right thing it's just bullshit I couldn't hold it back any longer because I am Greek commercials here comes one right now

40:05So now I've thrown somebody else's marriage under the bus. So Bromlin's like, um, wait, but you said he made out with someone. I mean, fuck you. You were dead to me, Lisa. You were dead. She's like, oh my God, you know what? I grew up in New York. So I know a lot of people. And you know what? It came from someone that I believe and I trust. So I believe that it happened. And I, you know what? I repeated what I heard to Angie. And now we, now, you know, we know Angie's not a trustworthy bitch. And you know what? I'm never going to do that again. And so, Brom was like, you never say you're wrong.

40:35I mean, just admit it. And she goes, I was wrong to say that about Todd. But you were wrong to talk about Gwen, so don't talk about my family. Okay, but you know what? Okay, then I was wrong. Okay, well, you were wrong. Why didn't you ever say you were wrong? Okay, but I was wrong. I'm sorry. You never say you're wrong. Stop deflecting. But I was wrong. Lisa, you need to say you were wrong when you were wrong. But I was wrong. You see, you're arguing with me now, Lisa. Just confess. This has nothing to do with me believing this rumor or being worried about this rumor. Because, of course, I don't believe he was making out with someone.

41:09I do believe he was farting. But this proves that Lisa is spreading rumors about me and Todd's farting. And she's never going to stop trying to eviscerate every aspect of my life. So, you know what? We're done. Todd. Todd, I'm trying to do my confessional. Well, sorry. I can't just sit on it the whole time. I'm not a hen.

41:34Oh, wow. So Lisa goes, do you repeat, Anjay, do you repeat all of our conversations? And Mary's like, if someone told me my husband was making out with someone farting, I don't know which one I'd be more devastated about. I mean, both of it's just embarrassing. I mean, what's wrong with his intestines? Why is he farting? Oh my God, something's wrong. I'm like, Mary, you're not one to talk. We saw two episodes ago. How dare you bring up my farting? How dare you? How dare you? Also, you're married to your grandpa. I'm sure he farts a lot. Please. So Heather's like, we need to put a pin in this. Get off the boat.

42:09And Lisa's like, oh, my God. You know what? Don't tell anything to Angie. Jeez, you can't even talk about somebody making out with somebody and farting the whole time. This is crazy. What kind of world are we living in? And Angie's like, no, do not talk about your friends like that. That's the lesson. That is the lesson. So Lisa goes, you say the meanest things. don't say horrible shit about your friends. You say horrible shit. You do, Angie. I feel sorry for you. For real. I feel so sorry for you. Okay. I'd also like to point out that that was pre-makeup, right? Because they went to that lounge and had that party when Lisa talked shit about Bronwyn before Bronwyn and her made up and agreed to not talk about each other.

42:53So that doesn't fall under the same agreement. That was later. Wasn't it? That's fair. Wasn't that the second time? That was the first time that we saw the Vita tequila lounge. And then the second time was when they had their meeting when Lisa was in her pajamas. You know, you're right. You're right. So whatever. So then we go to Bronwyn in her bed and she hears an echo of Todd's voice like, Hey, does someone smell something? I don't. Thank God my nose doesn't work. I'll tell you who's feeling something. Those beans jumping around my tummy. What is it, a fiesta going on down there? Is this the Cinco de Mayo?

43:31it's unclear to me why you want to spend time with these people don't come home complaining that you and Lisa got to do a fart

43:43I should have known this was coming because Todd knew this was coming I mean not the farting while he was making out with somebody part but yeah he knew and Lisa got exactly what she wanted she wanted to get under my skin she wanted to hurt my family and I'm realizing there's no way for me to be in the same room as Lisa and not veer into this person, I don't respect myself. I'm the kind of person who will wear a blow-up dinosaur costume. That's a person that's respectable. And you know what would make Lisa mad right now? If I had fun. So I'm going to have fun. I'm going to have so much fun. I really adore Bronwyn, but I have to say this whole narrative of like Lisa just wanted to get under my skin.

44:22You eavesdropped on Lisa just having a kiki moment with Brittany. And then Lisa didn't even bring up this Todd thing. It was Angie who aired it in front of the table. Not to be a Lisa apologist or anything, but like Lisa was not actively. It's getting to the point where you have to, if you're watching the show, you have to be a Lisa apologist in a way because she's not doing it. She's terrible at defending herself. And these people are crazy. Like the two things Bronwyn is really the most upset about are things that Lisa didn't even bring up. She didn't bring up Bronwyn's stuff. Everybody else brought it up.

44:52Lisa was messy as hell to say that at the club. Like you said, though, it happened on the heels of them bickering earlier in that day. But they did sort of have a little bit of a truce at the end of that luncheon. But either way, it's not like Lisa brought shit up at the table to confront Bronwyn. She didn't say like, well, Bronwyn, this is what I heard. So Lisa wasn't trying to get under Bronwyn's skin. Bronwyn kind of went sniffing for this fight, if you ask me. And she wanted to make it a fight. I understand the grandparents in Gwen are a trigger for her. but um yeah this was i don't really think that lisa was actively trying to upset bronwyn here i think she just got caught because lisa was messy she got caught she's sort of oafy with these things yeah she got caught gossiping for sure i'm talking shit but she didn't say it on camera guess who brought it to camera angie yeah you know but they still it's like they all bring it on camera and then they blame lisa for it and i'm not even saying lisa didn't talk to a million people about all the stories with Bronwyn.

45:51I'm just saying like, in what world do we not care about stories about the housewives? Like everybody else got to show up in Griller. Why are they not digging for things? You know, that's just so crazy. So they go, they, they go to Tobago and, uh, Angie's like kissing the sand. Oh, it's like fun and games time. Lisa, Mary and Meredith are lounging. And then Angie is talking. So Angie sees Bronwyn coming out of the water. And she's like, and what's your face, Bronwyn. I just want you to know I feel really bad. My heart went out to you today and I feel like I probably haven't been as supportive of you as I should have.

46:28And I tried to stand up to her about what she was saying about Todd. Sorry, I haven't been more supportive. Glad I could be more supportive after I brought the story of your husband cheating and farting on to national TV. Hope you enjoyed that. I did it for you. Well, I regret that I yelled and screamed and lost my mind. Don't, don't. We all thought it was hilarious. So, no, but I do. I don't regret what I said. And I don't take it back. Okay. I think the only way you're going to get her to stop talking about your daughter and the situation and the grandparents is to be as stern as you were today.

47:00Fight some more. Go ahead. She's right over there. She's like, well, I really try to be quick. Like, you know, what did I do wrong? What's my part in this? You know, focus on myself. That's how you do it, you know? But she's over here getting a fucking massage. I mean, she's not sorry about shit. oh god when she's supposed to cry because her husband farted while he was making out with some secretary let the woman get her massage get a hobby i thought we're on break i thought we're i thought we're on housewives pennies break i'm gonna get my massage now before we fight tonight so but then heather and whitney and braunwin are snorkeling and mary and lisa are sunbathing and lisa's like i don't know if you heard me and maria this morning but we had like a really direct conversation where I was like, hey, it bothers me because I know, like, you know that I know that you know that I would never feed stuff to the blogs.

47:47And I wish you had just said, like, hey, Lisa would never do that. Like, Donna keeps doing that, you know? So then Mary was like, well, what'd she say? She's like, well, I think she feels like she's set in her own way. And they're just talking about this conversation. And then, of course, Meredith comes sort of sauntering over. Like, hello, hello. This reminds me of making sandcastles with my toddlers last year on the speech. What are you guys talking about? And so Lisa's trying to talk, but Meredith's right there. So she's like, okay, I guess I got to bring Meredith in. So she's like, okay, Meredith.

48:17Okay. You know what? Okay. I was talking about this morning. Like, you know what? Like how I, you know, you've told her you support me in private. And she's like, yeah, well, I do. I support you privately and publicly, both Lisa. Okay. I just think that it's what everyone is so interested in how you and I engage with each other. That's the only thing that whatever. And Meredith goes, it's not wild. It's just bizarre. That's what it is. It's bizarre how you defend her. And Meredith's like, Lily, I don't feel like Meredith doesn't stick up for Lisa. Like she just doesn't. And if Lisa's really her friend, then Meredith should like probably speak up and like help her out.

48:53Like, wow. Can you believe I'm actually taking for Lisa Barlow? Like God help me. yeah but you know what i do a good job of standing up for myself like the way i cry and scream and then like you know what deny things like histrionically but you know there's sometimes i'm like you know what tap in you know what i mean like i need to tap that nerd like i need you to tap don't condone violence i will be not tapping anything and i will support you if i agree with you you know i would never ask someone to help me slice a lemon if they didn't like lemons so i would not at help that you hope that you respect my boundaries.

49:29And if I don't agree, I'm not going to defend you, Lisa. It's as simple as that. Yeah, and I do support, you know, and if you want to keep talking about us, if everyone wants to keep talking about us, then you're going to... Like, okay, okay, calm down. Your head's going to pop off, okay? I'm done with the conversation. I'm sick of this narrative. and I don't want that anymore. Yeah, but you know what? Tap in, though. Like, dismissed. Like, tap in. I will not tap. You know, like, I don't know why you're getting so upset. Like, I've been such a good friend to you. I've been such a good friend. Oh, and I've been a great friend to you.

50:05Like, the other day, I defended you by saying, well, we'll just have to see. And I thought that was a very bold and outspoken defense of you. And Mary's like, yeah, but she's telling you that there's an issue in your guys' friendship. And she doesn't feel like you take up for her. And that's just how she feels. So, she's like, Well, if that's the case, then I'm sorry. Well, I mean, you have to respect her feelings. What would you like me to do, Mary? Okay. Do you want me to go do cartwheels? Is that what we're going to do today? Cartwheels? No, because if you do that, you might fart a little bit too much.

50:40So you're not a good friend. Like, go jump in the ocean. Go do something. Do something to prove. Mary's like, jump in the ocean to show. Like, you're not a good friend. Jump in the ocean. Well, go do something. And she's like, oh, you go do something, honey. I think you're boring. Yeah. I think you're boring. Oh, really? I do lots of interesting things. Very many interesting things. Go find a good story that you can tell. Because right now, you're a snooze. Well, see you later. See you later. She just gets up and walks off. So now it's Mary versus Meredith. because you know Mary's going to turn this into a whole thing now.

51:21Yeah. So now Whitney's getting a massage and Meredith is asking Whitney Bromwell and Heather how the snorkeling was. And Heather's like, snorkeling was amazing. I swam with the Stingray. I was part of the Stingray sisterhood for one moment and I felt their bond. And I could tell the way those Stingrays had been persecuted by Mormonism. And I said, don't you worry. I have a new book coming out that's written exclusively in Stingray called Bad Mormon Stingray Edition. already a number one bestseller on the Stingray Times. Congratulations, me. Bad Stingray by Heather Gay. It's just going to be me topless, but with a Stingray over my boobs.

52:01They call me a Stingay. Bronwyn's like, yeah, it was fun. I kissed you. I have a drink now. So Meredith says, wow, wait, you swam with a Stingray? Did you really swim with a Stingray? They have Stingrays here? Well, I'm not amused by that. So Heather and Bronwyn have bonded, laughing in the water. She's like, wow, I can't believe I like Bronwyn now. I'm just embarrassed that it took me so long to stop being so stubborn. I really love her. It's amazing what a common enemy will bring. So they call Mike over, who's one of the stews, and she wants to play a game. And so he's like, shall we play Never Ever?

52:39Shall we? Can we play Draw Some Eyebrows on Mike? please i know mike apparently has an only fans or had an only fan fan someone wrote us that he guess he was on a dating show he has an only fans he has like a whole back story i think he did a show called dating naked that's what it was yeah um that's the whole backstory so that's that's for people who want to go look at look that up there's a little activity for you so he's also like the king of games and he has a very strong accent is it a welsh accent i'm not sure i'm like trying to be better about understanding where these accents come from.

53:15And I don't know. I'm not going to know until we get the season of Below Deck and we get his like, you know, trauma. Where he's like, oh, it was when I was a little boy and my father first shaved me eyebrows. I know. That I realized I needed to be on a boat. But I didn't know whether to clean or whether to deck. So now I do both. Thanks, da. Thanks. I've tried to understand the Welsh accent ever since I watched the season three of Traitors and there was that one girl who's like I like to pretend I have a Welsh accent because people think it's cute and they trust me more and I was like it all sounds the same to me so anyway so Mary they're gonna do some games and it's like never have I ever and never I can't be bothered peeing in the ocean have you ever been in the ocean never have I ever farted while making out with some secretary New York City.

54:05Is that necessary, Ronnie? Is that necessary? So they do some games, and then they have a game where they have to, like, it's a race, and they have to, like, run across the beach, and then, like, chug some wine, and then run the other way, and then Brittany falls on her face, which, of course, is funny. Slapstick. Always works. Bronwyn loves it. It's gonna be her souvenir. It's that mental picture. And then Heather's like, whenever you can get us doing something physical and competing against each other, sisters, that is when we really shine. Is it? So then they go back to the yacht and they get some rum punches and Heather's like, oh my god, I love drinks upon arrival.

54:49Rum punch. I would love one. Thank you. And Bronwyn's like, I want the same as Heather. Drinking buddies. We're friends now. Time to get ready for zombie dinner, everyone. So now Angie is having Michael blow dry her hair. So she's like, get in here and blow dry my hair. And then Captain Daisy are in the mess. And Daisy's like, well, Heather said something about you having dessert with them because you messed last night. And she asked if you could sit tropless having a dessert. Could you do it? And they just start laughing. He's like, oh, maybe I'll whip out a kimono tonight, ladies. So Bronwyn, Mary and Angie are hanging out and they're putting on inflatable costumes.

55:33because Bronwyn and Angie are putting on a label of costumes and it's like choosing between those different things. It's like they're getting into it and just trying to put it on. This is kind of like behind the scenes of Summer House, I think, but like she's putting, she's trying to get her face through it and she has a little like hood on her head. She's going through it. It's like, you know, it's like, it feels like it's just like a little, it is just a little fun and games thing. And she's like, it's like dressing up baby. And so now they're sort of like semi-inflated and they have to get out of the room.

56:00And so Angie's trying to get out of the room She puts her hand like in the doorframe, but the door closes on her finger while her finger's in there. And she's like, oh, oh, oh. And once again, I can't even say open the correct way. My finger hurts so badly. So it looks bad. And she's like, oh, oh, oh. They basically she's I think she has a broken finger. Right. Or at least I don't know what's going on with it. nail or something. Like she smushed her nail off or something. So it's all bloody. And so Jason wraps her up. Brittany gets all jealous probably. And she's like, it hurts so bad. Yeah. So now everyone's getting ready for zombie night and Angie's getting her hair done by Mike and she's like, look at him.

56:51Look at him. I've got him trained. He's never even done this. Wow. Would you like to come to Salt Lake, Michael? You're a born hairdresser. Don't worry. We won't try to make you sell Fresh Wolf again. dusty dusty product yeah so then um bronwyn is uh talking about how she overnighted some stuff from the uk and guys it's octopus stuff weird jelly octopi to put on octopuses that you can put like right on your forehead so it looks like you're kind of i guess kind of like uh the the bad guy in like um pirates the caribbean it's Like, oh, look at me. I'm a ghost from the deep that has an octopus stuck on his forehead.

57:33So she's putting this on. And Heather's like, oh my God, look at this. This is amazing. So they're dressing up and they're bonding like the sisters they always are. And Lisa and Meredith are getting ready. So they're all just getting ready, putting on blood, et cetera. And Heather says, why zombie night? You guys wondering what's going on? You guys wonder what's going on this episode? Let's let Heather narrate it. Heather narrates everything. She's like, why zombie night? Well, we love to dig up dirt on each other, and we love to resurrect old fights from the grave. We could do our own horror movie.

58:07So then we see a spoof. It's like some post-production fun about, like, it's a horror movie. And they're all, like, walking like zombies out to the dining table, except Mary gets stuck by that glass door. They, like, have to stop the trailer, the fake trailer, let her out, and they start it up again. so then um they get drinks but mary's has lipstick on hers and she's like wait what what why does this have lipstick on it hey hey this this isn't my lips and he's like i like his answer he goes that's all right i'll bring you a new one what are you telling her it's all right for i think you're the you're you're the apologizer i know where is it i'm sorry yeah he's like i forgive you i forgive you for having someone else's lips all over your glass i'll remedy that for you you guys how do we feel the crew did with our zombie theme i might wonder when would a hazmat balloon be appropriate we all look amazing sisters and mary's like yeah you're the only zombie that i've smelled alcohol in their breath before so uh they get food they they get some food that has some of meredith's caviar on it and um and heather's saying that she hasn't checked in Has anyone checked in on the home front?

59:20I personally turned off my phone and I have not checked in because the last thing I need is those bitches that I call my daughter bothering me on this. Finally, some peace and quiet away from them. Am I right, everyone? High five to daughters, right? I would have checked in, but I don't want my daughters to have my new number. So anybody else? Did you check in? And Bron was like, yeah, I called Todd and Gwen, obviously. And, you know, they weren't exactly jazzed right about my updates. Know what I mean, guys? And they're like, oh, my God, you told Heather's like you said the thing about farting and the making out.

59:51And she goes, yeah, well, of course I did. I mean, why should I be ashamed to say it? I'm not the one who made it up. I didn't make it up and I didn't fart on the secretary. So, well, what happened? Tell me. Well, I think Todd always feels like he's not really sure why he's a punchline here all the time. Like when anybody's partner is a punchline here, you know, and I agree with that. I just really feel like Todd and Gwen need to be off limits. and it doesn't seem like that's something you can commit to, Lisa. Which is why I'm bringing up Todd and Gwen again. Go ahead and say Todd and Gwen so I can say that you talked about my husband and my child.

1:00:24Go ahead. Go ahead, Lisa. I was like, okay, you know what? As of today, I will never ever bring them up or in any capacity. You know what? Because I will never ever bring them up. And I'm so sorry I hurt your feelings and Todd's and Gwen's. Very sorry. Very sorry. Well, America, I feel like it's disrespectful not to acknowledge when someone is speaking to you. So I acknowledge that Lisa is speaking and it is to me. Otherwise those words mean nothing. Todd, no, I don't need the stinger on that one. Todd. I can. Thanks. Yeah. But I didn't tell Angie anything with the intention for her to bring it to the group and humiliate Bronwyn, you know, like I don't hurt people like that way, like humiliation.

1:01:03No, no. I just tell them like I'm better than them usually, or say Blake Lively's name a lot, you know, but I've never done it. You know, I've never gone for that. No. Okay. Like I'll defend myself, but you know I don't try to go for like the juggler like you know what I can and if you open the door I'll walk through the door but you know what I just want it to be like status quo because this is frustrating it's frustrating I'm genuinely sorry if she's embarrassing her so more food comes and Heather's like you guys we need to do a zombie walk like the boat is rocking do you feel the rocket rolling oh my god this is crazy does anyone want a fake throw up so um then basically Brittany is like, oh no, I don't feel well.

1:01:47So she goes to the edge of the boat where she allegedly throws up, but we don't see anything come out. We know that this show would show the vomit because they already showed lots of stuff spewing out of Angie's mouth. So I kind of feel like Brittany wants to have like a I'm seasick to moment. So she goes over and she at least has a dry heave over the side of the boat. I buy it. You do? Yeah, I buy it. She looks terrible. She really is just like, she's like, oh, and Bronwyn's like, yeah, I mean, it's not zombie night until something comes back up from the grave. So Brittany throwing up feels pretty on brand.

1:02:22So Brittany comes back. She's like, I got a little seasick. Sorry. And then the crew brings out some tequila shots. So Brittany starts sipping it. And Meredith is like, can I just say something? I was a lawyer here. I just would like to bring up a matter of evidence. why are you drinking tequila when you just threw up because i'm trying to feel better meredith that's why she's uh and uh they're like give her a break yeah why is it your business meredith why do you even care she's like well is there anyone here who thinks i'm drinking vodka when you don't why are you the expert in vomiting no i'm not but is there anyone at the table if listen britney you're about to make me go into my British accent very soon, so you better watch your mouth because I'm about to speak British.

1:03:07I'm about to speak British. Well, guess what? It's already happening now. I have a British accent, Brutnag. Well, I think that's her business. She wants to drink dogs, so she's just drinking dog hairs. No, it's hair. Hair of the dog. Like, you know, Angie's a hairdresser. The dog has hair. Hair of the dog. Try it from the top. You exploited my vagina. Well, I wouldn't say the same thing to Heather. I would say it to my dog. I would say to anybody as a human being Mother Rocket, you just got to me for a second I'm just trying to feel better Not that I care You know what? I'm actually concerned about something I saw on TikTok That said that you don't have a British accent I, well, I cannot control when I have become British But that's just something that happens to me When I'm extremely hungry about something Wait a minute, what did you see on TikTok?

1:03:58What did you say? Yeah, well, I saw something on TikTok today about Seth's possible indiscretions. And Brom was like, oh, no, no. Was he farting? Please say he was farting. Todd really does not like being alone on this boat. What are you saying? Yeah, what are you saying? So we see them watching TikTok and there's someone on there saying an Uber driver sent a picture of Seth riding around with his mistress in Columbus, Ohio, allegedly. And Meredith's like, well, my husband does not have a mistress. We are in a monogamous marriage because your boyfriend breaks up with you every time he wants to sleep with someone else.

1:04:39That's your problem. But I'm hashtag monogamy. So don't get it twisted. Monogamy. I'm monogamy. You are. And Brittany's like, uh-uh, I break up with him. He doesn't break up with me. Oh, you are a liar. You are a malicious, despicable person. And you know what? I'm not interested in you trying to interfere in my relationship because you're jealous that you can't hold a man down. I am so angry I'm going to pronounce every single syllable and some bonus ones in the word malicious. Here I go. Malicious.

1:05:29I mean, have you not seen it? It's all over TikTok. No, I have not seen it, Brittany, nor do I care. You are despicable. I saw it. I saw it. She showed me. It was really good. So, like, when they showed, like, Seth and he was in the plane and he's like, can I do this anymore? And he's like, no, you can do it. And then he had, like, there was a goose behind him, but then a goose fell out of the plane and Seth was, like, really sad. okay, you're talking about Top Gun, which literally has nothing to do with anything here. It's not even a vague reference to something we're talking about. Oh, okay, I didn't see it.

1:06:05Listen, if you don't want to share, I totally get that. I mean, it must be really hard having a husband who's cheating on you on TikTok and an Uber. It's like, you stay away from me. She needs to stay away. And by the way, one thing that we have not even referenced is that this entire fight is happening while Meredith has like a fake knife that's going through his head. Or it's like a saw. It's a chainsaw. They all have like cleavers, axes, knives, and they're having this big fight and they're accusing each other of infidelity while they have all these things sticking out of their heads. The visuals, I feel like we just totally failed because like the visuals of this entire fight are so hilarious.

1:06:43They all look ridiculous. And Meredith just gets so mad. So she takes her saw out of her head. She's like, I am mad. And she takes her saw headband up and throws it across the deck. I am that mad. I don't even want to have a saw, a fake saw in my head. Cause you know what you saw? You saw nothing. That's why I'm taking the saw out of my head. And I'm suddenly British again. Oh my gosh. You're throwing something at me again. You're throwing something at me again. Oh my God. She's throwing something at me. I threw it over the air. I threw it at Daisy because she is a server. Brittany, why are you so smug and laughing?

1:07:14Like literally look Meredith. That was me tapping in. That was me tapping in. Hey Brittany, you're smug. Yeah. so uh meredith's like i did not throw anything okay and britney's like well you broke a you broke a glass i mean that's like no you tried to throw it at me and i put my hand out and i somehow summon some sort of magical power where i deflected all water and glass with my little palm and there are many freeze frames of it on the internet now marveling at my ability to deflect physics so she even changed she even changed her instagram profile to say meredith waterbender. I know. It's actually like an amazing shot.

1:07:53Like when I saw it happen, it was just like, it looked like just water that she deflected. But when you actually see the freeze frame, she literally has her hand out. And the water, she like created a force field and the water is just like horizontal and all going back. It's like the most amazing thing that Meredith has ever done. And Brom was like, no, no, you broke a glass on me, Brittany, while you were throwing it at her. Meredith's like, well, I don't know why Brittany's even talking to me. I mean, my marriage, my husband, Friends, I've not talked about all the stuff out there about Broadway.

1:08:22Like, there's plenty to talk about with him. So leave me alone. Leave my husband alone. Leave my toddler with a seizure alone. Somewhere Sean is like, I taught Meredith Marks, yes. I don't want her around me. She's filled with hate. Keep her away. You guys, there's a problem with her marriage, and I just want to give her a safe space. I mean, poor thing. Her husband is cheating in Ubers. So dessert arrives. And Brahman's like, can I have the saw back? I just really hate that Meredith fell out of her zombie theme. Thank you. So Captain Jason comes down because he's supposed to join them for dessert.

1:09:03But the fight is still going. I mean, should I bring up all the troll commentary about every single person here? Should I do that? And Brittany's like, we're not saying it's true. We're just saying it's like, you know, if you need to talk, this is a safe space. oh honey i don't need to talk to y 'all so heather's like oh my god captain jason the guy that i fucked around with just kidding i don't know why i said that why did i say that oh cannot confirm or deny oh my god it's jason everybody oh well you know what do we need to talk about what i've seen about everyone else's

1:09:42I don't think so, because I don't do that. How's the dessert, ladies? Well, I mean, it's just gross. I mean, not that dessert's fine, but this one over here, Brittany, is just gross, just like her. Oh, she's vile. Get her away from me. I knew it a year ago, and I know it now. Get her away from me. Captain Jason has just walked off, and Lisa's like, wow, look at how he just, like, gracefully declined. I'm so impressed, Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He like declined. Wasn't that great? You guys chased him off the fucking table. That's Captain Jason. He's our friend, right, Whitney? Whitney's like, yeah, that's our friend.

1:10:29Well, everyone, the zombie ice cream cake is delicious. And somehow that just ends the episode. But wow, I actually, controversially, I actually thought this episode was funnier than last episode. Last episode was funny, but this one I thought was hilarious because you had another thing we didn't really highlight is that Angie was sitting there with her like broken finger bleeding into a towel while she's still dressed as like an inflatable fish. I'm like, just the visuals on this show are really hitting on levels that are unseen before on Bravo. Yeah, funny fucking show. Really, really good. So I look forward to it every week and just watching some of these episodes twice.

1:11:06I was like, God, they're even better the second time. It's so good. Yeah, it really is the only show where they can scream about bloggers and leaks where it doesn't annoy me. And so, like, it's just because they're such a good cast. So, bravo. Bravo to bravo. Bravo, everybody. We will be back next week with some more of this nonsense. And we will talk to you next time. Thanks for being here, everybody. Bye. Bye. Watch what crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Allison King. It's always a party on Allison Block. Our way is the Amber way. It's the Foster and the Furious.

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