#3081 RHOSLC S610: Preaching to the Ire

0:21Hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens, the podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today is the one, the only, the wonderful Ronnie Karam. Hi, Ronnie. How are you? Well, hello, Ben. Well, hello. We are here today to recap Real Housewives of Salt Lake City. This is an episode that Andy Cohen said at BravoCon was maybe his favorite of the season. So we'll discuss that. It's one Best Housewives episodes of all time, guys. Wow. Wow. I said wow.

1:05I do not believe you. Yeah. I do not believe that guy. And sure enough, it wasn't a shitty episode, but it wasn't the best. You can't have Salt Lake City and be like, it's the best episode of all time. Yeah. I mean, come on. You have to be careful. I think that he was maybe caught off guard with that question. Andy Cohen said, someone had asked him during Ask Andy or whatever, what is like, what's one of the best episodes of all time or whatever? Something like that. Name an episode. And he said, wow, so many episodes. Well, I can say that the episode of Solid City coming up next is one of the best.

1:46So I think he was like, he wasn't sure. and he was like, okay, whatever. I'll just like, I'll hype up the next Salt Lake City episode. I think that's purely where it came from. Makes sense. You know, today we're talking about Salt Lake City, but we come join us on Patreon, patreon.com slash watch for crappins. Weekly bonus episodes, crappins on demand where you can watch us on video for a week before it goes out to YouTube. And we have Discord community and all those other fun things. So join us over there. every other week. We do crappy hour. We had a real humdinger of a crappy hour this week because the two judgy girls, Courtney and Mary, joined us and we traded BravoCon stories and talked about some of the gossip that was happening.

2:30We had a huge amount of fun. Go check that out on your feeds and then we alternate that with Amazon Live. And so we've got an Amazon Live coming up this Monday, which is good timing. It's right ahead of Black Friday, so we'll be weighing in on who knows what. And then And we just are, you know, just that's that's it. Actually, that's all that there is to really promote. So let's get back to this. The best ever episode of Salt Lake City. I will say this. I thought it was a very good episode and it was a good change of pace. You know, the past three episodes on this yacht have been sort of at like a certain level of like insanity.

3:08So it's good to have a grounded episode. So I did appreciate that quite a bit. I also felt like it was a lost opportunity for Bravo and NBC to air. Is it a lost opportunity to air or a lost opportunity to not air? They should have shown this at BravoCon. I actually think they should have shown this episode. And the reason why is because the way that it ends with Mary preaching and you sort of have this take me to church moment that's so big, I think it would have been a special moment if you had this airing in that giant hall with like a thousand people. And I think they all would have been cheering.

3:50And as Mary's up there at the pulpit and she's feeling the Holy Spirit and she's doing call and response from the audience, I think the Bravo audience would have responded. And I think it would have been a very special moment. And I think that they need to think about doing those things more. Well, I think that that would have been fun to see the church scene there. I think it's great that it came out the same week that Mary's cult video was announced. Like the TLC, Mary runs a cult video. And then they showed this return to church. But also this episode to me felt a little bit like political season.

4:22Like the, you know, the season where the presidents, the presidential hopefuls are arguing. Because I really feel like Heather and Whitney are working very hard to get Meredith and Lisa out. And this was like them holding a rally, kind of. And it's kind of when I'm not on the same side as all my friends in a rally where I'm like, no, you lying political sacks of poop. You are not getting rid of my presidents, Lisa and Meredith. I will not stand for it. I will not stand for this coup. And I think that's what they're doing. So it just pissed me off. And everyone's like, oh, my God, poor Britney.

4:58Britney is not a victim. I refuse to sit here and take Britney as a victim. I'm not swallowing that. I'm not swallowing it and I'm not buying it show. I'm not buying it. Yeah. I have to say I was a little dubious about the Brittany and Jared scene. It was fun to watch, but like, I don't know. I got the sense that they were reciting lines a little bit. I hate to say, I just, there was something about it that just did not feel authentic. But then again, not a Jared and Bramille scene. I know. Right. But it was definitely an episode of like, look at the, look, here, here's some conversations between people who have problems in their marriages.

5:37And the funniest one, of course, was Todd and Bronwyn only because that furniture, I don't, I don't think we noticed how wacky Bronwyn's living room has become. I mean, it's just like some sort of Alice in Wonderland gumdrop phantasmagoria that's happening in there. And they're having a conversation about, you know, infidelity while Todd is sliding off this striped couch. It was hilarious to me. Yeah. Her house has always been cray cray. That's for sure. She's very much drag queen energy. And I feel like she's appropriating drag culture because, A, how she dresses. And then I was watching some of the Bravo clips, the BravoCon clips.

6:16And there was one where she was on the stage and Brittany was like, ding, ding, ding. You know, she was trying to do a ding, ding, ding. And they were like, who's the meanest person on your – I mean, whatever. You know, whatever shady question it was, it was Bronwyn. And Bronwyn was in this huge, puffy polka dot dress, which I'm sure you've seen. and looking crazy, but also very pretty. She looked great. And she's like, oh, oh, Brittany, I'm so glad I made you relevant. She just does this affected lady from the 50s voice where she's like, oh, I'm so glad I made you relevant. And everyone's like, yes, girl.

6:50And she's just going on and on in this kind of drag queen affectation. And I don't know, man, I'm just not buying it. Now that said, not buying it does not mean I don't enjoy being in the store. Because I think she's doing a great job frustrating the hell out of me. And I also like how she kind of, she's pretty good at manipulating the audience, I have to say. I feel like everyone believes her, and I'm believing her less and less. Like this whole Todd scene I felt was very, listen, you're married to a grumpy old man, okay? He doesn't want to film. He doesn't want to talk about his sex life. He doesn't want to do that stuff.

7:26Now, we can have the argument of the man agreed to be on the show. But I think he agreed to do it as long as she didn't do all this stuff that she's doing, like talking about the sex life and this and that. He's visibly just uncomfortable and does not want to be there. He's like a giant five-year-old sitting there pouting like, oh, God, now we have to talk about our sex life with these people. Leave me alone. I'm not eating my broccoli. I don't want my broccoli. I don't want it. He is visibly uncomfortable. and again part of that is that he's like in his like L.L. Bean jeans and like you know his Van Heusen shirt button down shirt while like sitting in the middle of the Beetlejuice house but like he's like just get me to my Starbucks mug collection but yeah he's definitely uncomfortable I think Bronwyn did great at BravoCon I think the clip that you're talking about is where Brittany was like Bronwyn I think your costume looks great it's like fashion oh baby girl baby girl I have new I have new couture and you still have the same old line that's and I and I'm just so glad that I gave you that line because it's your same old tired line baby girl that you brought up every single time baby girl and Brittany's just like that's so funny Bronwyn had a lot of good reads she also I just saw right before this someone was like I'm so disappointed that Bronwyn took a picture with Gretchen and Bronwyn responded by saying um like she had walked into a room i guess i don't know if she took a picture with gretchen or around gretchen i don't know what it was they were in the same they were in the same signing area you know how they they go to those signing events or whatever and they were next to them so they took a picture and by the way whatever you're about to say is going to be truncated thankfully because it's a page long because bromwin can't just like have a two-line thing you know this is why twitter has used to have um character limits but go ahead go ahead you know basically she said yeah i made sure i was in a like a like move to a different room or different space she's like i'm not gonna be around that so you know what i i applaud her she you know she basically was like uh-uh i don't stand with that garbage so yeah you know i think she i think which is very common to take a picture and then and then i didn't actually see the picture why she wouldn't take a picture i didn't see the picture um i just saw the comments by celebs she was like responding to someone so i was like okay well uh either way let's get into it so we are at whitney's house and heather shows up and whitney's like hey if you smell something we are it smells like poo it does not smell like sisterhood in here well i opened up the broccoli to put in the veggie tray and it smells like shit well it smells like someone dropped a tooth in here let's heat up some mac and cheese maybe that'll get rid of the smell it's gonna add a lot of heart smell once people eat it because it's mac and cheese and that's the nature of mac and cheese uh so whitney's like yeah when my friends are feeling down i take on a personal mission to make them feel better so i play i planned a surprise potluck for britney that apparently was supposed to involve bagged broccoli because Because by the way, when you say you opened up the broccoli, that means you pulled it out from the bag.

10:44Well, there's nothing inherently wrong with that. But you're probably going to raise a chance of having fart smell very high, right? Well, when you see broccoli, you know, it starts. Broccoli is a very, very strong cruciferous vegetable. That's why it has the name cruciferous, okay? Because it's strong, Christ-like, if you will. And cruciferous. And you can see when it starts to turn. But you're like, you know what? This is broccoli. Surely it can last another week. Broccoli lasts forever. So you open it to smell it, and it did not last another week. It died. And now you smell hundreds and hundreds of dead bodies in your house.

11:23Broccoli makes its presence. Actually, all those cruciferous and brassicas, they all love to give a big stink. But you roast them, they're lovely. What lovely little babies they are once you roast them. But before that, they are awful. Like most babies, too, I'd like to add. I'd like to add most babies are awful all the time But you don't roast them I roast the baby But mainly I do like a I do a set This baby is so stupid Yeah like figuratively Wow Either there's some bad broccoli in here Or some baby shit itself Did you mean to be such a stupid baby You just got roasted by Padma

12:10slobber face okay so angie arrives with uh greek stuff you know and um she's like i've not always seen eye to eye with britney but i do have a heart and seeing britney so hurt i couldn't help but feeling sorry for her i am greek so she's on she's on board with this potluck also she's on board with getting rid of meredith and lisa so she's like oh yeah i think that's because that's the favorite reason for this they're like let's show everyone how fun this cast can be without meredith and lisa yeah um or i feel like maybe the producers were like okay this may have gotten slightly too toxic so let's like bring it back and do something warm and sweet so angie is like i feel like to make this fun for britney how fun and how excited would she be if we recreated the look the high body count look with all her spray.

13:03So yeah, they're all going to mess up their hair, which makes sense. And by the way, it's so funny because when we saw the previews for this, we're like, what is going on with Whitney's hair? She looks like a disaster. I think this may have even made it to a trailer at some point. And Whitney's hair is like up and we're like, God, Whitney is a disaster this season. Little did we realize it was part of a high body count hair challenge or event. That's the best thing about Salt Lake City when they showed the previews and they're all fighting in crazy outfits. Every scene is like a different costume, you know?

13:33Yeah. So Heather's like, I'm in, but just make me look cool. And she's like, well, Heather, we don't have much to do with you. It's a version of this hair, just bigger. And she's like, really? A version of my hair? Really? Calling me high body count hair. The only person I've made love to all year is Captain Jason. Wait, we didn't make love. We did. We did it. We didn't. We did. We didn't. You guys. Did you see the thing with Heather and Jason? The clips of Heather and Jason in Bravo? It was so good. It's still going on. Someone's interviewing her and being like, so what's this with you claiming to have banged Captain Jason?

14:10And she's like, nothing happened. The thing is, we were just on this trip and we spent so much time together and it was so fun. And we got so close. And Whitney's like, but there's Captain Jason right over there. What a con-dink-a-dance. What a con-dink-a-dance. mine so jason comes over and the lady is like so did you fuck heather or not and he's like oh i just locked aside nothing happened she's like oh really so that's what you say to all the girls just that's what you call nothing happening well i guess that i'm just gonna be the sacrificial lamb for captain jason to deny everything with multiple girls and he uh he's like whatever so he's like yeah, nothing happened, but I had a great time with these ladies.

14:54And then they walk on to the next person on the red carpet. And you can see Heather grabbing his wrist and him like shaking her hand off of his wrist. Oh, God. The thirst. The thirst. This is a direct call back to the black eye when she was so slippery about the black eye. When she was like, well, I don't want to let everyone know why. Well, I did know, but like her story kept on changing. That's what this is like. And, you know, last week I talked about this. and I think even though I felt like I went on my way to say I'm not calling Heather ugly a lot of people still felt like I was saying that she was too unattractive to land Captain Jason I 100 % do not believe that and I'm sorry that that's how it came out what I meant is that she was pulling some George Glass shit like oh my god he's so into me it's like he's the captain he's not like this isn't happening I just don't see it happening Heather but she keeps on alluding to it in a way and she's like drawing this out you're like okay all right okay heather all right go on have fun with this she is i just want to clear that up i'm embarrassed for her just stop just stop you know and then him on the red carpet denying it and her being like i'm the sacrificial lamp just make it stop so mary comes and uh she refuses to get her hair teased she's like yeah I'm not doing that.

16:14I don't like this person. You're not touching my fucking hair. So Brittany's coming and so they all hide because it's like a surprise. Like surprise, we had a fart smell party for you. I know. To walk into this human waste party. She's so excited. She's so excited that they just did something for her. She's like, oh my God, I'm so touched. You know, I often say, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. What about me? You know how I always do that? Isn't that so funny? It's like my tagline. Isn't that so funny? But guess what? Today is all about me. This is exactly what the doctor ordered for me, is to have all the support from the women that I love.

16:53Oh, honey. These women all hate you. Yeah. Which is the funniest thing. So Bronwyn's like, yeah, well, I set this up for you. This is a mobile teddy bear station, so you can pick one that you want to make, and then we can replace your unicorn. Okay, so pick the one you want me to replace your unicorn with. Okay, baby girl. Okay, baby girl. Baby girl. By the way, I was mildly fascinated by the act of making these animals because I've never been to a Build-A-Bear, to be fair. And so I've never seen it happen. But I thought with the Build-A-Bear, they just had pre-stuffed parts that get assembled together.

17:32I didn't realize they get filled up like a balloon. So to see this, like, at first I thought it was a popcorn machine, but to know it was actually like a machine full of fluff and they just stick the thing up to like a hose and it fills up with fluff. I was, the process was fascinating. It was also really cool to see them do it just using Whitney's old broccoli. You know, I thought that was a real use of old stuff. So they all smell like fart, which is great to send with Brittany. Yeah. I've never done a Build-A-Bear either because I'm not a fucking creep. Like what 50-year-old man do you need to see making a Build-A-Bear?

18:06Jared. But also, I thought it was different too. I thought you would get a bear and then you would kind of build it like a Mr. Potato Head and dress it. It's like the same. You know, give it into croutrement. But this whole, like it's already all put together. You just fill it up. That's weird. Well, I think you choose different aspects of it and then you fill it up, right? No. I mean, it looked like they were grabbing the skins that already had everything on them. And then they were just shoving them full of air, I thought. and then putting a little talky thing in there. I don't know. Maybe I'm wrong.

18:36What? I may need to do some field research on this one. Everyone, meet me at Build-A-Bear.

18:44So Bronwyn's like, yeah, I don't have a happy history with Brittany, but, you know, it sounds like she really went through it on the plane. And, you know, I might have literally kicked it off by throwing the stuffed animal overboard. I mean, is she over 50 and clinging on to a stuffed animal? Yes. But, you know, it's not nice for me. So I'm going to make it up to baby girl. And, like, now I can begin to make amends, and I hope a half-assed recording and a bear will skyrocket me to the top of her list of favorite people, like it did for Jared. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappens commercial.

19:27So they're all going to make recordings on these tiny little things that you put in the bear. So she'll have a bunch of talking bears. And they record their little things and gather on the couch and will listen to these recordings. And Whitney's is like, Brittany, you are so strong and courageous. I love you so much. Mwah. I haven't seen Brittany being strong or courageous, but that's okay. And then Angie's is, I said, Brittany, you have beautiful hair and I love you. In Greek. Mine would say, Mom, Mom, where are you? Is mom out again? Mine would say, remember the steamers? Never forget the steamers.

20:19Mine would say, we're going up, up, up, up, because we're golden. So Heather says, I love you, and I'm so glad we're friends. And Bronwyn's is just like, you're a star, Brittany. Bronwyn's is total. Bronwyn gave her the one that she needed to hear the most. You're a star. She's probably pressing that button every single day. It's just so sarcastic. You're a star, Brittany. Yeah, the most insincere one is that. And then Prama goes, I tried to sound like Jared. And Heather goes, Mary, tell us what you recorded. Which is funny in retrospect, because Heather knows exactly what Mary recorded. So Mary's like, no, no, she can hear it.

21:05So Brittany presses it. And we hear this shh. And we're like, okay. And we're like waiting for Mary. Because I think we all know, we expect it to sound something like, wait, is this thing on? You think that's what her she's going to say? It's just nothing. and she said Bronwyn's like well what did it say and Mary says nothing I didn't say anything Bronwyn's like well at least it's not a negative recording so so funny and Mary's like no yeah on the boat I had a problem with her I had a problem with her so we see a flashback to Mary and Brittany arguing on the boat and Mary's saying Brittany you're not cool you're not cute and she's saying You're the least Christ-like person I have ever met.

21:48Mary's like, okay, good. So Mary says, I'm being cordial because what Meredith did was not okay. See, this is really the smoking gun here, you know? I mean, if Mary hates Britney, Britney just said that she's un-Christ-like. That is drawing blood in a Mary circle. and the fact that she's still going to this supporting Britney thing, that does make me think that Meredith was not just merely venting quietly to Lisa. Oh, I don't think she was venting quietly either. I don't think anyone's thinking she was venting quietly. Are they? I just literally don't care. I mean, I see Meredith act like this on every episode, and then suddenly it's on a plane and everybody's acting like it's the worst sin ever just because she was on a plane.

22:37I just don't buy it. I don't think it's a reason to try and get someone kicked off the show. And I think it's crazy that, um, no, I'm not saying it was polite. I think Meredith and Lisa can be horrible. Okay. I'm not saying that they weren't horrible. I'm just saying it's not a reason for the whole group to ice them out and kick them out. It makes me crazy. And for everybody to act like Mary is some bastion of honesty, like, oh, Mary said it. Mary has a whole documentary coming out about how she treats her, her cult members or whatever. So I don't know. I'm just not fully on the train. I think Meredith and Lisa are two queens of the show, not the queens, because I think the show has a lot of queens and I don't want to see them iced out and kicked off.

23:18It's better with them. It's better with them. They're not going to get iced out and kicked off. They're just, it's just like, this is the narrative of the season so far. And as we saw, you know, Portia, Portia Williams got into some sort of issue on her flight and there were air marshals that took her right off. So we do know that if there's enough of a snickersene that air marshals will intervene. So hard to know what the truth is here. But anyway, Mary is, she's being cordial because she's being cordial. And Bronwyn's like, they just toast to high body count hair and friendship and everything.

24:00And Bronwyn's like, I love you all. I really do. I see a car of women that I can respect and trust right here. And I feel safe with you all. Because Meredith crossed a line. And it's going to be hard for me to come back from that line. Unlike all the other lines we continue to cross every single season. Like the time I started a rumor that Lisa did Jizz for Jazz. But Meredith's line was the worst line because it happened on a plane. yeah well meredith did reach out to me and she said i don't know what they're talking about you know because she never spoke directly to you so she was having a calm conversation she said with lisa about you and she said i was mad at britney yes i was i saying awful things about britney yes you know but she did have headphones in and she couldn't eavesdrop on my conversation so that's what she said that is exactly what she said and whitney's like yeah well i thought she was crazy for the screaming because this takes it to a whole nother level of delusion well she told me that her and lisa did nothing to you so that's what she's saying but i'm trying to reconcile my feelings with meredith and lisa but like where do we go from here like once this party's done like what direction do we walk in to get out of the house there's like a lot of things to talk about like where do we go yeah and i think lisa is fucking crazy okay and she said she's not going to be responsible for anything wait when did you talk to lisa yesterday like i'm sitting at a table with her and it's like she's rewriting history she's telling me a completely different version of what i physically saw when i wasn't sleeping most of that trip and i think that she's trying to force me to believe her version of what happened and i think they're both in the wrong but at the end of the day you get nothing for nothing and when i was sitting with her i thought well we have history we have sisterhood and shared experiences and things that just make me want to write hard for them you know as you've seen this whole season as i've tried to turn everybody against them in every scene but i can no longer do that if they cannot acknowledge what they did was wrong and they have to make amends with you britney and mary's like yeah that's the only way that this will change.

26:18It might take all of us saying that is not what happened. We may have to do an intervention of sisterhood. And Brittany's like, I mean, if there's no accountability taken, there's no moving forward with either of them. Bronwyn, do you mind if I open this up right now? Because I'm making an observation that has nothing to do with what we're talking about at all. Say what you want to say, Brittany. Say what you want to say. You're opening it up, huh? Okay, spoiler alert, opening it up. Go ahead, Brittany. Whitney. Whitney. Open it. Open it up. So as long as we're talking about Meredith on a plane, here's something that has nothing to do with that.

26:57You're not wearing your wedding ring. Oh, you noticed, did you? Wow. Did you? Yeah, I'm not wearing it. I'm not. I'm not. Yeah. So here's what happened. You know, Whitney knows that Todd left the house for a couple of days after we came back from Barbados. And, you know, there were tweets. There were tweets. You guys might have seen them. somebody saw him on a plane and he had a photo on his phone a photo he was he was texting somebody so yeah a girl something like that and instead of just saying it's not a big deal here's what happened i'm an idiot you know he was really defensive and i was exhausted so i was done and you know what i was like you gots to go you gots to go baby boy you gots to go i feel terrible for bronwyn last year she opened up to the sisterhood about the vulnerabilities in her marriage and it doesn't seem to be improving.

27:45Oh God, I feel terrible for her. And isn't it funny that I like Bronwyn now, now that she's dealing with so much shit. So do you want time or are you done? What do you think, Bronwyn? Well, I haven't spoken to him for a few days. And he was texting me. He wanted to talk, wanted to talk, you know. And you know what? I stayed with it because I said I needed time. So I stayed with that. But you know what? What embarrasses me is the humiliation. And, you know, it's a secrecy. Because you know what? It's not a marriage ending conversation, but it is a life changing one. And to be able to say it isn't working and I want a different thing.

28:19And Todd and I don't have an arrangement. But if we did have an arrangement, you know what? I would be an adult and I would talk about it. I would have an arrangement. Maybe I'd have an arrangement. Do we have an arrangement? I don't know. Watch last week's scene and see if you can figure out whether or not we have an arrangement. Yes. No. Yes. No. Wow. Yeah, it's like renovating.

28:46It's like reinventing. Brittany's like, ding, ding, ding. If you get rid of some of those rings, can I have one? I think someone needs to tell Todd about privacy screens. I'm not encouraging his activity, but first you were caught DMing with a woman by your stepdaughter because you were doing it on an iPad, which is a larger screen than a phone, and you did it and your stepdaughter saw you doing it because you're sitting there on the couch and didn't realize. Now you're on a plane and doing the same thing. Sir, you have to be better at this. If you're going to be flirting and cheating, you at least got to at least attempt to be discreet about it.

29:33But like he keeps getting caught in like very obvious ways. What is wrong with him? Messaging. Never trust it. Never trust it. And get some Snapchat. I mean, that shit disappears, right? Not the point of that. But no, the problem was that he was like, but he was texting like a woman on, he was sitting on a flight. And I think we all know, okay, that when you're sitting on a flight and you look through the cracks of the seats and you see someone texting, you're going to see like what like i'm gonna look i'm looking yeah i don't really care what they're texting but i'm always like what's going on over there i got nothing else to do i want to read what you're writing to nancy uh-oh did you water those plants because as far as i can tell this person is very concerned about it you better get on those plants you know so i'm always gonna be like and especially if you're someone who's known honestly if you're known like someone's gonna if you're texting and they have view of your screen they're gonna tap they're gonna take a look Yeah.

30:30So next we go to a real fun scene, Mary and Robert Jr. pulling up to our church. I think it's time to put Robert Jr. to bed as far as the show goes. I don't know that we need to keep dragging Robert Jr. out. Something is clearly wrong. I mean, we know that he's got problems. He's in jail again right now. Did you know that? Yeah. Or he got arrested again. He's like up to nine or ten. I think he's just not healthy enough to be on TV. Like, we just need to take him off. So they go into the church, and they've renovated. and Mary is like, wow, it's like opening the doors to a new home. And there's no place like home.

31:04And, you know, we know how that turned out. Wizard of Oz, someone got a house dropped on them. You know, that's not the thing you want to be quoting when you walk into a church. So she also got a major movie franchise and Wicked for Good in theaters this Friday, everyone. I'm just kidding. We have no time to do that. I know some people like, wait, they go to BravoCon. And next thing you know, they start spouting off NBCU. Bullshit. So she's checking it out. Robert, they're both in red, which I guess is their church color. He's even got red timberlands on, which are nice. And so they come in and check out the church.

31:43And he's like, wow, you're just a natural interior designer, mom. Wow. It's like, yeah. You know, and sometimes I can be critical. You know, you want to sit in our seats? Let's make sure nails aren't still coming out of these. Okay. No. That's what I was thinking the entire time. Like what, what nails are poking through those cushions? Cause I am not convinced that they've all been taken care of. That's a lot of cushions and a lot of nails. Not that this cult documentary is coming out. I'm wondering if it's just built into the seats, like to give people the stigmata, you know,

32:16you just get, you get stigmata and just, it's all stigmata if they like happen in your back. Well, he was nailed all over the place. It's like you can be holding a Bible or something and then you just nails pop out and puncture you and then disappear really quick. And I go, oh my God, it's a miracle.

32:36So, Robert, they have a very nice and frank conversation about his struggles. I talked about having gone to Malibu to rehab in Malibu and learning about higher power, having a higher power and that other people are struggling with it and how he wasn't, he didn't really talk about spirituality with other people who are in rehab. And Mary's like, well, but you have to, that's actually when you have to, because like, you don't want to go dark on people when they sort of need that. And Mary's just talking about trying to sort of help him get out of his loop. And, you know, it's, it's really it's it's very heartbreaking to watch knowing that he's in jail right now knowing that he's he's in a real real deep struggle like it's a very scary struggle that i think we're all hoping he's able to pull out of but like it's it's it's it's very concerning yeah and she's like you know i'm gonna open the church back up and she's inviting her friend group and she's like i've just never seen a group of women who act like little kids i've just never seen it and i'm just like you need god and then lisa's pop wait you need god and uh lisa's face pops up whatever whatever faces were popping up she was saying like you need god you need help you need jesus you need the lord and then at some point she says and you need your mind back and it pops up lisa's face yeah it was hilarious so um now uh this is by the way this is an episode of serious conversations uh between people which in it's it actually was good tv because they were like they felt very real so here comes one that was pretty intense and it's lisa and john barlow and uh lisa's like oh my god i'm so excited to see how this dynamic with jock and henry is when jock gets back i feel like they'll get along so well and I'm so excited that we're going to have a scene talking about our children and nothing but our children.

34:35Okay, your turn to talk, John. Yeah, I don't know because when I came back, I was still a dick to my brother, so who knows? I'm just like, oh, you, yeah, you're like a douchebag. You were like a douchebag, right? Yeah. Yeah, you know what? You irritated me so bad the other day in the car. You, like, really irritated me, John. Which time? Yeah, like when I was trying to, like, tell Henry my thoughts. Oh, were you telling Henry your thoughts Or were you telling him how to think Slash throwing the new watch I gave you out the window Yeah, but like I was telling him my thoughts Okay, and then you were like Oh, you should say it like it is You should say it like this You should say it like this And stop saying it like that That just bugged me so bad, John It bugged me real bad Yeah, things are like off with John So I gave Henry advice And then John corrected how I gave him advice And I'm like a grown woman I'm a mom.

35:27I'm someone who goes to parties with Blake Lively and Ben Affleck. And I don't want to be corrected with how I speak to Henry. But it's not about one specific instance or one specific thing. It's just about the fact that I go to really cool parties. And lately in our marriage, I feel invisible. Yeah, so she's basically saying, you know, she's trying to talk to Henry, which we know how she's talking to him. She's like, no, Henry, here's what you should do. And John is like, no, well, Lisa, maybe he can do what he wants. How dare you? How dare you come for me? Which is what this whole conversation sounds like.

36:01And it's every conversation that John tries to have with Lisa where she can't understand anyone else's point of view but her own. Yeah. You know, most of this I look at as John's journey because it's like watching John learn how to speak in his relationship, which is crazy. Because I don't think he's ever stood up for himself until the past couple of years because now he is and she doesn't even know what to do with it. you know and he's like yeah but you have an opinion and i also have an opinion and she just blinks like what i'm sorry i'm sorry did somebody order an opinion for john because i've never ordered that okay um i'm sorry opinions aren't on the wendy's menu so i don't think you can say that it's like so should i just not say anything she's like no but i just like don't want you to tell me how to talk or how i should be thinking like that's what i do to you but not you don't do it for me.

36:52I'm the one who's on a TV show, John. He's like, I don't. He's like, I don't tell you how to talk or how to think. She goes, yeah, you did. You did the other day. And he goes, well, it was probably not telling you how to talk, but maybe telling you from a guy's perspective. She's like, really? I'm going to tell you it from Guy Fieri's perspective because I know him. Okay? You know what? I was just trying to tell Henry to go to Flavortown and that's it. I think what hurt me is that I didn't feel validated in my feelings because Flavortown's actually like a really good restaurant and i hate when people do that i'm like around a lot of girls that are committed to not seeing me and like not understanding me and not hearing me and like but with john it just feels like so much bigger and like so much more triggering oh she's also in her cowboy outfit which is in her confessionals which is like very distracting yeah you know what i want you to see me feel me hear me touch me okay i think that's just tommy whatever john since once you listen to musicals who is this john can i please have my cracker back my just saltine cracker can i have him back oh it's a pinball wizard um sometimes you don't listen uh actually a lot of times i don't listen i think like 90 of the time i don't listen what you're supposed to say of course i listen but you're admitting you don't listen that's not right i think you guys always put that on me and i feel like i'm like a good listener like for instance remember the other day when you said you wanted to go to Nicaragua?

38:18I said, I wanted to go to Paris. I'm pretty sure you said Nicaragua. Paris. John, you know what? Don't even do that. Like for real. Are you kidding me? You know what? I'm a great listener and I'm like really good at like, you're a great listener. Yeah. I'm a great listener. Are you kidding me? Say something. Okay. Well, you see, I heard that. I heard that. God, John. So he's like, Oh, Oh really? This is you listening scroll scroll scroll oh really did you say something oh yeah scroll scroll scroll really so now you know what you're so annoying right now you know i just feel like we used to always have to we were always on the same page you know what and you like you didn't even have to like finish a sentence because i already knew what you were saying that's the point he's never finished a sentence do you even understand that's like literally his point and john goes well i feel like you want me on your page and that's it like if you want to get into the nuts and bolts of it if we're not on the same page it's because i'm not on your page that's the way it feels you don't see it yeah but i hate that you always put it on me like why does it have to be your page like it's just a page why can't it just be a page why can't we just both be on a page commercials here comes one right now.

39:37By the way, who was telling us, was it on this show or did someone tell us this over this past weekend that they were talking to John Barlow and he just like stopped mid-sentence because he's so used to getting cut off? Me. That was me. You were the one? We were talking to Lisa and John. By the way, who are both very nice. So we were talking to them and Lisa was talking to you and I was talking to John. And I would be like, so John, you know, how's the weather you know and he'd be like well and he would stop and then i was like go ahead he just kept stopping after one or two words and i was like wow you literally cannot even finish the sentence i was dying we ran into john barlow every single day of bravo con and uh like the two people and seth and i'll tell you john barlow is when i tell you this man is such a sweet man.

40:27He is so sweet and lovely. And he was always like, Hey guys. And he wrote his little message. He's like, great meeting you guys. He is so adorable. He is so lovely that John Barlow. I mean, we'll still make fun of him if, if, if, if we need to, but let me tell you everyone, he was adorable. Yeah. So, um, he's like, you know, you're always talking about feelings and how you feel and this feel, but you don't know how I feel, you know, and all we talk about is business and there's nothing else to talk about at this point. I don't think. And she's like, oh my god do you like feel that for real do you like really feel that for real is that philly for really like what is that real is it real john it's like yeah i mean how do you how do you not feel that i actually you know what my heart broke for her in that moment a little bit because that's a real tough thing to say if the person that you love says we don't have anything to talk about we just only talk about business it's like that's a little bit of a dagger in the heart moment and you can see you know when lisa when lisa's like really hurt like she gets this frown she gets this real big frown but it really comes down like her mouth really just does like a classic frown like emoji style and she like looks down a little bit and then she starts if she finds if there's something nearby that she can start to fold she starts to fold it in her fingers she's like wow and she starts to like she starts to fold a tissue or a napkin you know like she's going to use it to tap her eyes but she never quite gets there so she starts doing that and the producer's like so what do you feel when he says that to you and she's like it hurts my feelings oh

41:55Yeah, but like, I don't feel that with you. Like, I feel like we talk about everything, you know? Like, you know, maybe we're not doing that as much anymore, you know? Like, you don't hug me as much. You don't hug me as much. Yeah, I mean, we talk about a lot of things. For instance, hey, did you ever send out those invoices? Or like, hey, did we get any of those boxes from Uline? Or like, hey, did we pay all our vendors? you know things like that that's business lisa no oh i've made a pie chart and it's gonna show us like how much you've talked and how much i've talked okay well i don't it feels like i'm not sure that is business technically but it feels like business no it's not business and then we do a powerpoint afterwards and a conference call and we're gonna loop people in and put our conversation, but it's about us.

42:48I think we both just feel like we're really not seeing each other right now. Like right now you look like a breadstick. You're literally talking to a breadstick. Oh my god, no wonder it won't hug me. You know what, get some arms, stupid breadsticks. Don't just throw it on the floor like that. So then we go to Brittany and Jared at a park and they see each other and they hug each other very long and it's very into my eyes. yeah he goes they both do a deep breath into each other she's like oh god it's been three days three days Jared yeah Jared and I are still on a break but I'm still reeling from what happened to me on the plane and it really means a lot to me that he reached out and is thinking about me and frankly it gives me some sort of glimmer of hope for the future for us there were cameras so that's all that you needed to know So he's like, well, I'm still trying to put my finger on exactly what happened.

43:48So with the flight and stuff, which is the reason why you came here. No, I went to Justin's house and he's like, oh yeah, Brittany's flirting her butt off with Captain Jason and all sorts of guys that are on this boat and cabin boys and things like that. So he's not even there to check in on her about the flight. He's just like, I heard you were talking to other men. Yeah. And so we see a flashback of her flirting with everyone like, hello, muscles. Oh, hi. Do you actually drive the boat? want to do it with me on your lap grabbing everybody's arms and stuff and he's like i was under the impression that we were trying to work through stuff and clearly we're not she's like oh my god it's just so confusing i'm just so frustrated i mean okay i'm not trying to minimize what you're doing here but like i literally thought i went through the most traumatic experience of my life and you're not even here to talk to me about that you're here to ask me about flirting with boys?

44:44Oh, no, I care. I care. I'm sorry. I care. I care. I care. But here's the thing. The last two years, I have just... The last two years, you haven't even committed to me. I get it. I get it. Britt, you run every five seconds. What I'm looking for is someone that's stable. Oh, whoa, so now I'm not stable? Why don't you just shake my seat and pull my hair and spill some champagne on me? Truth. You are a ride until it seems difficult. You're a ride or die until it seems difficult or, oh, this might be a problem. And then you are, I don't know, a freeze, a flee, a run. That's who you are. It's like I throw up a red flag and suddenly you want to leave.

45:24I don't understand. Like, why can't you just be stable and hang out with toxicity? Clearly, I've laid it out so many times I want a committed relationship. That doesn't make me unstable because he can't commit. Can he ever stop the mind games? What are we doing? Can we please just cut to the chase? What do you want to do, Jared? Well, you want a definitive answer when you just got off a boat? I mean, you're on a 30-day, what, how's that going? A fast from me? A 30-day fast from me and Osmond? And how's that going for you? Are your bones weakened? So he's holding her coat. So she reaches for it.

46:02He's like, no. He pulls it away. She goes, but please, let me have my coat. Can I just please have it? I'll take my 30-day break and I'll just go. Okay. Okay, if that's what you're going to do. You're going to walk? Well, good luck in those shoes, honey. And she's like, ah! Like in big wedges. She's falling all over the place. She's like, this is exactly why I want to break up with you. Because you took me to a rocky area when I don't have the right shoes for it. I'm out of here. Bye. I'm tired of it. So she walks away, but then she stops on the path so he can catch up. and he's like, I'm walking slower because I respect my shoes.

46:39So please give me a moment. And they're doing this and like it's like a very serious moment but then like someone in like jogging shorts goes by. At one point, someone with a bike went by and I know post-production. It dinged. I was like, they did not ding in real life. That was not a ding-dong bike. Post-production is so funny. Having this bike going, ding-ding-ding-ding. I mean, they are. You just see a sobbing woman standing in the middle of a path it's like i was like that i guarantee that 10 speed bike does not have like the same little dinghy as like the the little girl's bike with the ribbons on it but it was so funny i don't know why it was so funny just you know what was so funny because you know how amused that editor was in that moment that editor was just like i'm gonna throw this ding this little bike bell on here and they're just chuckling to themselves i'm just like laughing for them I believe it happened.

47:36You know, we're used to Brittany. I do believe it happened. Yeah, we're used to Brittany. So to us, it's no big deal. But to someone on a bike, you're just like, oh, my God, there's really bad weave and tears flowing out of a crazy person in wedges. Just make sure she doesn't walk in front of the bike. You know, bring. Bring. You are loved. So. So she walks up there and she just stands there and gets bring that. And he's like, what are you doing? what are you doing she's like oh my god please i just need a 30-day break okay oh god so he comes up to her finally makes it up to her and it's like this is why i break up with you i'm so tired of this i'm so tired and he goes awesome brit awesome what what are you doing brit what are you doing i just i just want to know what we're doing i just don't know what we're doing at any time i just want to feel I just want to feel safe I just think that's unfair that's all I'm saying how is it unfair every single time I ask you what we're doing you're just like I don't know like what would you do Jared well I would just like to make a decision once and for all and here's my decision I would like us to figure this out Jared never gives me a straight answer to what are we where Where do you see this going?

49:01And always some roundabout gaslighting answer that makes me feel like a crazy person for even wanting to know. What do you want? What do you want from me? Do you want to be exclusively my boyfriend or do you not want to be exclusively my boyfriend? I can't tell. I just can't tell. It's like you. All right. Here's what I want. I want to be exclusively deciding on where to go. Here's I have decided that I am going to Commit To knowing that you are very confusing You are very confusing Okay well no answer That's my answer Do you want me to be your boyfriend How about you be stable for a little longer Than five minutes I'm so sick of this So I am stable It's like walking down I'm sobbing everywhere at the wedge broken.

49:57You know what I hate about the you are loved thing is that, um, like about nine months ago, I was listening to the moth on the radio, which for people who don't know is like a storytelling show that's on NPR. And, uh, and Ronnie was on it, uh, because they do local things. I just want to point out, shout out Ronnie for being on the moth. Um, so there was a lady who told just an absolutely beautiful story. she's like in her she was she's in her 80s she met a guy in his 80s they sort of fell in love and they had this whirlwind five-year romance maybe before he passed away and he would do all these lovely things and among the things he would do is he'd always leave like a note um like for her that said you are loved and I was just like oh it was so beautiful and I was like you know I'm gonna do that for Dom I'm gonna leave a little note for him one day that just says you are loved and I was like, oh, I can't wait.

50:51I'm going to do that. It'll be so lovely. I never actually did it because I like, I always forget. I kept forgetting to write the little note, but I wasn't like, I'm going to do that. I'll do that tomorrow. I'll leave the note. And then here comes Jared fucking Osmond with you are loved in the unicorn. And now it's all ruined. Now I can't even do my romantic gesture that I was too disorganized actually doing the first place, but he ruined the you are loved thing. And I'm so mad about it because I was going to do it at some point. I don't like you are loved because I feel like it's just so noncommittal.

51:20It's like, oh, hey, you're loved. By who? You? It's just so like, you're basically loved. Like, I'm sure someone loves you. You know, not me. If you had heard, let me tell you something. I love you. It's a, you are loved. Like, what the hell, bro? You can't even say I love you. We've gone on two dates. I'm telling you, if you'd heard this story from the moth, you'd be like, that was the most beautiful thing you'd ever heard. In the context of the moth, it was so beautiful and it was so sweet. But the thing was, I was in New York when I heard it. So then by the time I got back to LA, it was like, like if I had been in LA, when I heard it, I would have been like written it down right away.

51:53But then every time I think about it, I'm like at the gym or something. I'm like, oh, I have to write that note when I get home. And I never wrote the note. I'm like, I'm going to do it though. And when I do it, it's going to, it's going to hit. It's going to hit so bad. And now Jared Osmond has ruined literally the most beautiful romantic gesture that I theoretically was going to do one day. So romantic.

52:16All right. So let's go over to Bronwyn and Todd at their place. And Todd is writing on a little post-it. You are loved. And then he puts it on the TV over Matlock's face. You. He's written it on his Palm Pilot. I've always got your back, buddy. All right. Hold on. I'm going to just. I'm playing Minesweeper on my Palm Pilot. I'm just going to. If I hit the bombs correctly, it'll say you are loved. Hold on one second, Bronwyn. So Bronwyn tells us, you know, after I asked Todd for a little space, he was reaching out to me. and telling me that he misses me and thinking about me. And then we see one day earlier, Todd calling Broadwin while she's in the car.

52:53And he's like, good to hear from you. This is crazy. I can hear you out of this soup can. They should really make these in every office. Could you imagine just being able to pick a soup can tied to a string and be able to talk to whoever you want? You know, Todd, you could have just texted me all this time. I know, but do you know how annoying it is to tap three times just to get to the sea? I don't trust a Morse code Do you know how many subs were sunk Due to Morse codes being misunderstood So Bronwyn's like well I saw your text this morning And saying that you want to come home tonight And I think that if you are ready to come back I've calmed down It's probably a good time to come back But I do expect to talk about this in person Baby girl I don't like it when you call me baby girl Then we're going to have an issue And so he's just sitting on the couch With his arms folded right under his nipples Sliding off slowly You know when you slowly slide off a sofa He's just looking all miserable Because he knows what's coming He's like oh god here we go Relationship scene on the telly So she's So Todd what's going on Moving and grooving But enough about my bowels Tell you one thing fiber one does magic.

54:15What's going on with you? Well, obviously, I was really upset last week, Todd. He goes, yeah, well, so was I. Hmm? What do you think about that? So was I. And she's like, well, you were upset too. Okay, I can see that. And uncomfortable with what was said on Twitter. Okay? But the bottom line is, I ended up feeling that I wasn't good enough. Okay? That's how I felt. I just felt that I wasn't good enough, Todd. I'm going to stop you right there. I'm going to stop you right there. What's Twitter?

54:46well in the past todd kept uh todd kept something from me that made me question how important i was to him okay and so we'd see a flashback to last season where bron was telling the girls that there was infidelity and gwen caught him texting somebody but then we don't see in the reunion the clip of her saying no there was no infidelity that was i over i blew something up or whatever she said. Like I was kind of, I just got upset and I was over exaggerating. What did she say? She said something like that. And I wish they had included it all for completionist sake. Okay. Well, it was like emotional infidelity maybe, but she says, you know, you start to spiral and think I'm not pretty enough.

55:30I'm not fun enough. I'm not sexy enough. I'm not there enough. I'm not willing enough. I'm not baby girl enough. I don't know what it is, but you just start thinking that I'm not enough. and my partner's looking for something different. And that is just like, you know, it's not him violating my trust, but it does turn all that up again. And she goes, no, Todd, I am as in this with you as I can be. And I love you as much as a young woman can love an older man who loves to have his arms crossed and is slowly sliding off of a sofa. And I'm as open to whatever would make you happy that is possible for me to do.

56:04But if you wanted to do something different or have an arrangement or be open or whatever else, I would consider it. I mean, if you need me to dress up like a life-size where there's original, I will do it. Well, look, here's the thing, okay? You and I have been together 11 years. That's about a tenth of my life. And we've had a lot of ups and downs. We've had a lot of leakies, a lot of leaks. But, you know, turmoil, challenges. Remember that time you tried to get me to go pee-pee on pads in the bedroom? That was hilarious. But the thing is, we've always been able to talk through it. And this time we didn't even talk.

56:38I had to go to bed messing my own carrots. You know how hard it was for me to walk up that little staircase up to the bed with a frown on my face? Todd, that's for the dogs. Well, I use it too.

56:55I paid for this scratch post and I'm going to scratch it.

57:02Do you know how hard it was for me to get myself out of that big circular ball that was running around the house? And Todd, that was for the hamsters. Well, it was for me too, and I liked it. By the way, where are our dogs? Where are they? Has anybody seen our dogs? This is crazy. I like that she was so embarrassed by her dog scenes last year that she's just like, get rid of the dogs. Get rid of them. Put them all down. or they're like stuck in a room somewhere. You know, it's like, keep the dogs out of here, okay? Let the dogs, lock the dogs up and bring out Muzzy. I'm pretty sure, I feel like, I feel like Muzzy probably scared the dogs away.

57:40She's like, oh, really? Whatever Muzzy's weird voice is like, get in the closet. And turn her into Tia. But, you know, that's just the way it is. So listen, I, listen, we had a talk the other day. We both came in hot as Pop-Tarts in the morning, but we you know what we i can admit when i was wrong and i was wrong okay i never should have been texting duties to somebody okay but i figured she showed me her boobies i should show her mine yeah so that's why that's why that's why i did it you keep on going because i got lost i'm lost i just want you to know i'm very happy being with you in the relationship we have He's like, well, what I was trying to make very clear is that there's no weirdness or shame around figuring out what works in your sex life.

58:28And he's like, oh, geez, could we stop? I've already got my pinchers on my nips. I don't want to talk about this on television. And I also wanted to tell you I did have a good conversation with Whitney and I talked about you and I's sex life. That's nobody's business. Okay. I don't know why things related to me can't be left in this house. Why do they always have to be shared with a group of untrustworthy friends? Now, excuse me while I take my oversized Palm Pilot and flirt with someone in a public space. I don't know what to say about that, Todd. I just don't know. Okay. You know, just to discuss this part really quick.

59:08Look, again, Todd, I think, is a grumpy asshole. If Bronwyn left Todd and was like, listen, I need someone who's going to be more open, be on TV with me, whatever. I think that that's completely fair for Bronwyn to want that. And if she wants that, I think she deserves that, you know, like she can get on my nerves sometimes on the show, but I think she's a good lady and I think she's great on this show. And I think she deserves the best from a man. But I think that what he's saying is like, we're not, why are we talking about like, we agreed to not be talking about this shit on TV and now you're going to Whitney and having a talk about our sex life.

59:42Like, are you, come on, man. Like how much of this count much? It seems like a lot of the partners on this show do back out of doing it. And they're like, I'm not doing this. You know, this is embarrassing and I'm not doing it. So I'm not sure why he's not just backing out of this and being like, I'm not, I can't do this. Like no one wants to think of my fupa on national TV. Yeah, I am a little concerned for these two because I think that Bronwyn has a right to be able to talk to a friend and share and connect. And I do feel like her scene with Whitney was a genuine scene. It was not a scene made for reality TV.

1:00:20They were, she, I think she was like really trying to connect about this real issue that she's having. And they were, they really were bonding. And that's why so many people in the audience responded so well to it because it was such an authentic scene. So she's a fully entitled, I think, to be able to reach out to her girlfriend. I also think that Todd is entitled to be like, Hey, you know, when we started our relationship, Like these were our parameters. We kept certain things behind closed doors. And now suddenly this is not only just like, not only are the closed doors open, they're open and the whole world has come in and I'm not comfortable with that.

1:00:57That's tricky too. But also, so like, so I actually do have sympathy for him on this. I have to imagine that there was a conversation and I, or I would love to know what their conversation was before embarking on this show. when she said, hey, they want me to be on the show. This is something I'd like to do. We're going to like, everything's going to be out there in the open. Was there a moment where he said, yes, but I don't want to talk about these things? Or did he say, okay, I'm an open book. I'm curious to know what that was like, because it seems like they're not aligned. And that's going to be a problem for them.

1:01:34That's a fundamental problem for them going forward. And it's like they're talking so much, but they're not talking at all, because we really don't know what happened. You know, there was a thing last year, which I've already mentioned, which is he had an affair. Okay, he didn't have an affair, but he did something. Okay, well, maybe he was talking to someone. We never really found out. And then this year, he was on the plane looking at pictures of somebody, like sexy pictures of somebody. Okay. And that was seen by somebody who put it on Twitter. What were the pictures? Who was he talking to?

1:02:03Was it an affair? Was it him looking through an OnlyFans? Like, what was it? Like, we still don't know. So it's really hard to nail down what's going on here and pick a side. Because normally my side is automatically going to be Bronwyn's because he's like some grumpy old asshole. And I'm like, well, you're on TV and you need to buck up and stop whining. And also, if you're cheating, stop fucking cheating, you idiot. I'm not going to choose his side if he's going out and having affairs. My point is I don't know what he's doing. No one's telling me. Just tell me what he's doing. It's always a hint.

1:02:36You know, I feel like what she does is she hints at something and plants a seed and then lets it grow wherever it is. And then later she apologizes and says, well, that's not what I meant. And I didn't mean it to be taken that way. And I just want to know the truth. Just tell me. Just tell me so I can rest easy at night. Okay. I don't like not being able to sleep because I don't know whether or not Todd cheated. Yeah, I think. Could you imagine that's my life? What's happening here? I think these two really need to need to figure some stuff out because, uh, like this, I mean, that's hard. This is hard.

1:03:14This is like her career and this is like her moment. And she needs to be, she needs to be honest with everything that's going on in her life. But also, um, you know, it's hard to like, you know, you never want to make your partner feel uncomfortable, you know, and you want to respect their privacy and their wishes and your partner should always come first. but at the same time it's one of those things where like she she has like you want her to put you know her partner's wishes first but he also has to put her partners his partner's wishes first and her wishes are that she can flourish in this on this platform that she now has this platform this platform this stage this world stage but you know it's like it's hard so they're gonna have to figure that out otherwise it's not gonna last because it seems like she's it seems like she's coming on this show to divorce him right like kind of but to me at least it seems like she's coming on here to be like okay here's all the evidence here's why i want to leave this fucker you know but then at the same time i'm like i don't think she's gonna leave him because i think she seems to like yeah she seems to like him so i don't know just tell me if you cheated just tell me with who where what happened i just want to know exactly i want to know what he was looking at who it was and by the way who is who is the person who is like hot for todd out there Just please make yourself known.

1:04:33Who is hot for time? Admit it. Who is like, oh, yeah, landed this guy. Yeah. All right. So he's like, well, what matters is we've talked about it and we're moving forward. Okay, please don't cry. And she's like, oh, my God, can I even cry on Gucci? He's like, I guess you can. It's just fabric after all. Now, if she didn't leave him after that, she's not going to. I know. so now mary arrives at her church the door is locked so she's like lenny lenny lenny so she comes in um she big joe is there her cousin and um so earlier we talked about how it's it's sad it's hard to watch robert jr because we know he's actively in real time in jail right now as of this recording it's really sad because we know his struggle is is still going forward and you know you'd like to think that everything is fine, but it's such an ongoing process.

1:05:31What I was not expecting is Mary saying that, um, she got in the car with Robert and Robert was saying how he was really excited to come to church. She was really, really excited. She was saying how, uh, they got in the car and she looked over at him and was like, Oh, you're high. And she's like, I'm not letting you come to church. And I was like, my heart just broke. Cause I just didn't think it was going to happen that soon within the same episode, within the same kind of like a little arc there. And the God, it's so tough. It's really tough to watch. And she says that she's crushed. And, you know, she's just hoping that she says, I have to keep on trusting and believing that his time will come.

1:06:05And when it does, he'll be ready. So then we see Whitney and Heather in a car. And Whitney's like, well, I never thought I'd be invited back to Mary's church because I didn't think I'd see the day. But I'm so grateful and I cannot wait to see her back in her element. and um she's like yeah um i mean i might ask her depending on who's in the congregation if lisa and meredith are coming and heather's like do you think they're gonna show what they show the church i don't know how i feel are they even part of the sisterhood and at this point i was thinking um like maybe meredith won't be showing up because we hadn't seen her all episode and some people online were saying like after the airport thing like oh meredith is probably is suspended from filming or something or another.

1:06:49So I thought, oh yeah, wow, maybe it's true. Maybe Meredith really is. Maybe icon Meredith Marks has been suspended, but they're all wondering. And when he says, I don't know, if they walk into the church, it'll be like two whores burning. Whores burn in church, right? Isn't that a saying? Like no one sweats more than a whore burning in church. I was like, I thought the saying was like, you're sweating more than a whore in church no right you're she's sweating like a ho in church it's the same yeah sweating like a ho in church but not like the ho but the whore's not not burning burning right she's just like i think the idea is that like you're such a sinner that you're sweating out of guilt right like i think that's what whitney is like whores catch on fire she's like has some sort of supernatural thing that she's attached to it watch out So everyone's showing up And Heather and Whitney show up And Whitney's like We're going to church together Can you believe it?

1:07:54So now they're like Oh my god None of them have been to this place Except Whitney And Heather's like Oh my god Did she give you a heads up? Are Meredith and Lisa Going to show their faces at church? What will happen with this sisterhood? I want to point out that the phrase whores burning in church most directly relates to a biblical passage, Leviticus 21.9, which mandates that the daughter of a priest who becomes a prostitute must be burned with fire, which is, I think, a very different context than what Whitney. Whitney says that if a whore walks into church, she just gets burned alive. But I guess in Leviticus, it's like, no, if your dad is a priest and you decide to become a whore, you become a prostitute, then you must be burned with fire.

1:08:37So that maybe that's what she got. That Bible is just one happy. Let me tell you, the happiest chapter in the Bible, Leviticus. God, they just gave up some real humdingers, didn't they? Good Lord. I mean, honestly, after Exodus, it's all kind of downhill. Let's be honest, right? Because they don't really remember the stuff that happens after Exodus. Leviticus, numbers, hello, numbers. What's the most generic name for a chapter? Well, Leviticus, I know, because that's the gay merit. That's the gay, you know, gays. Man should not lie with man or whatever. I think that's Leviticus. Another reason not to pay attention to that entire book, right?

1:09:10Yeah, just get rid of the book. Just get rid of Deuteronomy. You know, Leviticus should burn in church. That's who should burn in church. I mean, they have a whole climax that happens on top of a mountain, okay, in the middle of the desert in Exodus. That's in Exodus, right? It's Exodus. It's like it's in the name. I scrubbed it. I can't even remember a last season housewife storyline. I'm not remembering Leviticus and Exodus. That's all. And after that, everything is sort of like, I can't remember anything that happens after that. It's sort of like little stories that float in and out. But like, honestly, after the Ten Commandments happen, it's all just kind of anticlimactic after that.

1:09:46It's all dead to me. Yeah. And so it's all Leviticus to me, frankly. So Bronwyn's like, well, I was trying to pry that out of her buddy over here, Angie, and ask her if they were coming. So she doesn't know either. Whitney's like, yeah, we don't know if we're coming. Should we get our seats? Oh, my God. Here they come, everybody. Here they come. Get ready to ice. So here they come Meredith and Lisa And Heather's like oh we were just discussing Whether you guys would show up What a surprise Samarith says Tells us I don't know why they're surprised To see me here Maybe I should be surprised to see them here Because I've been Mary's supporter Being a supporter in fact for years How did you not know I was coming Like how would you not know Because I'm coming You know, you thought just you were coming Why would just you come?

1:10:39At this point, I don't care who likes me Who doesn't like me I don't really give a fuck Because, you know, I'm here for Mari And, like, maybe to have a little conversation with God and Jesus And, like, maybe get some Wendy's afterwards And that's about it So they ask Meredith about her toe And it is sprained, so she's in a boot And Heather goes, oh, is that from kicking Britney? Britney? She never touched Britney. Neither did I, by the way. We're innocents. Gotta love Heather trying to get a little raise in there. Remember when you kicked Britney half to death? Oh my gosh, is your finger hurting from when you were holding that stone while you were stoning Britney in first class?

1:11:20Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. By the way, who showed us? Someone showed us. I'm like, there was a lot of drinking this weekend, but we definitely talked to a Bravo celebrity. I don't remember who. It doesn't even matter who it was. but they're like, they're like, look at this picture and guess who is staying in across the hall from me. And we looked and they showed us a picture and it was, it was like a room service tray that had been, you know, when you're done, it was like put out in front of the door. It was all Wendy's and it was in fact Lisa Barlow. I was like, Oh, okay. She is. It was not. Did you see that photo?

1:11:54I did, but I didn't know it was literally Lisa. That was, I think it was just a joke. That's funny. Oh, I mean, it could have been. Imagine. I'm spreading untruths about Wendy's takeaway. That's pretty funny, though. I think it probably was her. The church bells ring, so they go inside, and Lisa and Meredith take their own seats. And so, everyone's dancing. You know, it's a merry church scene, so it's very, like, dancey, and they have a full band. Yeah, it's very exciting. Yeah. She's like, wow, she has a golden microphone and a bedazzled Bible. I'm excited to see Mary in her element. I know her so well, but because the church was closed, I haven't seen the most important part of her non-Greek life.

1:12:38So Mary gets on the mic, and she's just saying that she's like rusty, and she's like, thank God for being here today, and I thank God for being saved, and I thank God with my mind that stayed on Jesus, and I thank God that he's kept me from another day, just another day, and God gave me the right mind. God gave me love and peace and power, and this is our place. And everyone's like cheering. And it's like, it's actually quite stirring. I was like getting like excited, just listening and watching. And then people are clapping and dancing. And it is fun to see Mary in her element. It's been so long since we've seen her in church that we sort of have forgotten about this entire side of her.

1:13:16I mean, listen, I love a musical. So whenever the band starts and everyone starts dancing, I don't even care what's going on. I'll be into it. So she's saying that she feels she came into this world to be a messenger, a messenger for God. And she's like, yeah, I don't really plan what I'm going to say. It just comes to me. I'm like, well, you know what? You might want to start making some outlines because I'm confused. I need more of a story. I need more of a linear sermon. You know, I don't like just like the God loves us. We love us. We paid our rent. We're back. Yes, God. We have it. We paid the water bill.

1:13:54Oh, yeah. And everyone's like, yes. So then her next thing is she brings up her mom, which I thought was pretty ballsy. Her mom just passed away. But, you know, for people who haven't really taken any deep dive into this church or why it's controversial, you should because it's crazy. But she brings up her mom and talks about how sad it was that she wasn't invited to the funeral. But you're like in the church that your mom considers stolen from her. So it's crazy. This whole scene is just fucking Looney Tunes. And that's why I signed up for this show. Yeah, it was great. And everyone's like kind of choking up in the audience.

1:14:31Not the audience, but in the congregation. And the cast members are choking up. And Bronwyn, they're all also, because we've seen a whole episode of the women going through things, they are now finding some sort of salvo in this spiritual moment. So Bronwyn's saying that, you know, she's been having a lot of worries in her life at her parents and Todd and everything. And she's like, I think I really needed to hear from Mary that I'm going to be okay no matter what. And I think there's peace on my horizon. And also some Ovaltine, you know, to be fair, some Ovaltine. And Mary's just going on. She just is preaching and preaching.

1:15:10And they're all, you know, they're all responding. This is like, I think churches all have one similarity. you're gonna go to fill a void because like you have a need and I think you can like find joy in all faiths and like joy in all religions except for the church of Satan but we do make donations to them too yeah what they say what just yeah for real like the church of Satan if they ask for tequila we're like sure yeah we don't discriminate I don't know the church of Satan was a real thing I've always heard of Satanist but I know the church of Satan was a real real thing and i don't know if they needed tequila the church of satan yeah it's not literally satan they it's basically created to say you know morality isn't created just because you're with jesus i mean they're actually kind of a good church it's kind of a smart ass response to all the christians in the world it's not literally satan it's just saying like there's religions And, you know, because religions get a lot of protection from taxes and stuff like that.

1:16:17So it's just kind of a way to protest real religion. But I think they're kind of like peaceful atheists poking jabs at regular religion. And they need tequila. They drink tequila. Hell yeah. So Mary's, you know, basically she preaches to all the girls and everybody cheers. And Mary's like, bless every single one of them. and heather's like wow the first lady of faith pentecostal can dance look at her go and angie's like it's a spiritual experience oh one thing we didn't talk about is that when they all arrived at the church angie knew like everyone and just like oh auntie d oh paulette oh how are you she all she knew all the aunties it was amazing so lisa we cut to lisa and she's like i i'm gonna die a fuck fucking heat stroke i'm practically on fire and then when he's like see i called it two horse sweating in the church i have to say that is two prophetic moments on the show the other one being the horse that suffered an injury but it was a toy horse so mary is like says church is where you find peace and it's what you're looking for and she just hopes that people get answers.

1:17:37And then they all gather around as a group and they do a group prayer together. And Mary asks the Lord to touch their hearts. And then they all start going, touch, touch, touch. So it was a, it's hard to like recap that whole scene in church because it was just basically like praise, you know? But it was actually, it was like a nice episode. It was a very nice episode. I mean it was fine but this was not the best episode Of the season or of a housewives Stop trying to trick me because then you just get me In here and I'm like wait what the hell this wasn't The best anything I feel robbed Last week's was the best Of the season I thought last week's was I thought Excellent But this was a good one it was good it's perfectly good You know no duds on Salt Lake City But that is It for this week's Recap of Salt Lake City thanks everyone For being here and catch us on the next episode of Watch What Crappens.

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