#3087 Below Deck Med S10E09 Part 1: Good Ol’ Unreliable Nathan

0:20Well, hello and welcome to Watch What Crap It's, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that That we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today is the incomparable Ronnie Karam. Hi Ronnie, how are you? Well, hello. Thank you for not comparing me to anybody. No, you're incomparable. You cannot be compared to any single person on this entire planet. Comparable only to a car crash and a leaking bag of turkey. That's a horrible comparison. You can definitely do better than that. If you're going to do it. Well, thanks. How you doing, baby? I am doing great. Thank you. So today we are talking Below Deck Med.

1:05Programming update. We'll have Salt Lake City up for tomorrow. The recap for that. We are not doing Southern Charm this week because it's Thanksgiving. And, you know, we've been going pretty strong for the past two weeks with BravoCon and everything. And we were like, you know what? I think it's okay if we don't podcast on Thanksgiving. so we will of course bring back Southern Charm next week and we will sort of do a high level recap of what happened we'll sort of touch on what happened this week but if you're wondering where the Southern Charm recap is it's going to be in all of our heads so it's nowhere that's where it is, it's dead, we killed it but we do have a dwell hello and we have a trailer trash for the new show the Valley Persian style coming out and also next week we have another programming update.

1:52Yeah, big one. We will be adding Married to Medicine to the rotation. It's back. Which begins on November 30th. We haven't recapped it for a couple seasons, but we will be back this season. Yes, we are fully embracing our Married to Medicine roots. I mean, we started off back when this show started, our show started, we were, you know, Married to Medicine was brand new and we were recapping it back then and we're coming back to it. So Married to Medicine, back in the rotation. Also, I just want to say Dwell Hello. It's our final Dwell Hello. So go listen to it. It also happened to be one of our favorite House Hunters episodes of all time to watch.

2:28So it was so perfect. Thanks again to our Patreon premium supporter, Jill Hirsch, for finding that episode for us. Thanks to everyone who over the past three years submitted recommendations for Dwell Hello. It's been so fun recapping those episodes. We're just putting it on pause. It's an indefinite hiatus. just to, you know, just to give ourselves a little bit of a break on that. It's actually five years. You know that, right? Because we did it two years before Wondery as well. It's just been three years. Three years of like a regular schedule of it. Yeah. Yeah. But I just wanted to also give a quick shout out to Joey Taranto from the I Think Not a True Crime Comedy Podcast because he's a new friend.

3:10I just met him through Matt Marr of the Reality Gaze. But I went to see him this weekend at the La Jolla Playhouse in Working Girl. a new cindy lopper musical and it was pretty great it was pretty awesome to see it and jojo played working girls so she played melanie griffith that's so cool it was amazing it was like watching cindy lopper in working girl like they wrote it kind of for cindy i mean cindy lopper wrote it working girls just want to have fun like yeah yeah and um it was so good you know it was it's a new musicals they're still working stuff out but it was so good he was so good it was so great to meet him what a bundle of energy that guy is so thanks for that go see it if you can't it's probably sold out.

3:47Please tell me. Please tell me. Was there a dance number with dim sum carts? There were dim sum carts, but they moved the desks around for numbers like dim sum carts, if that makes any sense. And people danced on them and stuff. I mean, I was disappointed there wasn't a psoriasis number because that's my favorite commercial of the past decade is I'm Cindy Lauper and I've got psoriasis. And I really wanted them to work that in. They didn't, but it was still fabulous. well uh that sounds great i'm gonna give some shout outs too because it's you know it's thanksgiving week we're giving thanks if you want to listen to this recap just fast forward five yeah just fast forward you got the button i don't care um uh my first shout out is oh shout out to the washington post for including us in their uh article about bravo content creators so go check that out on washington post um also um a shout out to me for writing a thanksgiving guide it's on my NBD fancy.

4:47I'm not really giving myself a shout. I'm just trying to thematically link this in. Um, I'm like, shout out to me really. But, uh, I just, I released an NBD fancy of psoriasis. Um, I released an NBD fancy column today on my sub stack. And I mentioned that because it's all about, uh, Thanksgiving and how to do some, what I call low lift Thanksgiving, which was like easy Thanksgiving things or how to organize yourself. So if you're in need of that, I wrote a whole schedule, how you can organize your Thanksgiving to hopefully make it go as smoothly as possible, easier said than done, I'm aware. But go check that out.

5:24It's nvdfancy.substack.com And I'd like to give an anti-shoutout. A reverse shoutout. No, don't you dare. Don't you dare come for Wicked. I know what you're about to do. Don't you do it. Wicked has a perfectly fine shoutout. I'm giving an anti - anti-shoutout to the lady who brought her five, four, like five, three and four year olds to a 7 p.m. viewing of Wicked and sat right next to us. What the hell happened? So last night we went to Wicked. This has nothing to do with Below Deck. It has nothing to do with Bravo, but it needs to be said on a platform. I'm using the platform for good right now.

6:04So Dom and I - Crap is for good. Plus 15. Yeah, honestly, this is crap. It's for good. Plus 15 seconds on your on your podcast app, everyone. Don't forget that button is there plus 15 seconds. That means five minutes. Yeah. Just hit that a few times until all of a sudden you hear, eh, wow, look at that wind. So Dom and I went to see Wicked for Good last night. We went to a seven o 'clock showing and we went to this movie theater that's on, there's a movie theater that's on Crescent Heights and Sunset, which is semi-indie. It used to be an indie theater, then became an AMC and now it's a landmark.

6:34You went to see it at that place? Why would you do that? You need to go to a big, nice screen. Have you been to the Grove lately? Have you like this episode of Below Deck Med is it's called like the actual name of it is called something about peasants. It's like peasants. You have a guy on this Below Deck Med calling people on the boat peasants. If you go to the AMC at the Grove, you find the real peasants. OK, those are the people who are on there with their phones. They're having conversations. They're texting. It's like a nightmare. You cannot watch movies there anymore. So I was like, let me go.

7:07we're going to go to this smaller theater where, which is actually pretty good. It's a pretty nice theater, but like, it's a little bit more quote unquote, like adult, not like adult triple X. Like they're just like more adults that go there. It's not as ridiculous. You don't get like, you don't get all the teenagers who are literally just like yapping. Cause they think that movies are just like background noise to whatever conversation they're having on their phones. I know I sound like an old man, but this, we all know it's true. We all know that you have your whole amazing story about that lady at sinners.

7:35and so we go. So it's not that crowded in there. Dom and I are the only people in this enormous row, enormous row and in the middle, in the middle, the first 10 minutes of the movie, 10 minutes into the movie, this lady walks in. She goes up to Dom and she's got like a trail of children behind her. She's like the Pied Piper of some like nursery school and she like goes, she looks at Dom and she goes, I think you're sitting in my seat. Like an entire enormous row and you're 10 minutes late. It's like, girl, just sit like one down or two down. So already we're like, oh God. they made so much noise the kids were running around the theater left and right they were running running like a playground it was in it was actually legitimately insane so a big anti shout out to this woman like why are you bringing kids at seven o 'clock at night how did you not Karen out in there why would you not Karen out we moved seats to oh I'm gonna move right to the manager station and wave my finger around you know what it would have been a bad look if I did that and I'll just leave it at that.

8:31Who cares? It's a bad look to have your damn kids running up and down the town to trip those little fuckers. Pulled out my dick and started flicking it at them. But who's going to bring like a series of like three and four and five-year-olds to like a two and a half hour movie at seven o 'clock on a Monday that features some kind of scary elements like the flying monkeys and the big Oz mask and a witch and all that. I was like, I'm not that the kids cared because they were talking the whole time. But anyway. Oh my gosh. Low deck, am I right? Death to those parents. Horrible. Horrible. Thank you everyone for allowing me the space to let that out.

9:14I understand that rant was not in the spirit of the little PSA that happened before the movie where Ariana Grande and Cynthia Erivo stood hand in hand and said, we hope you enjoy it. We've arrived at the end of our journey with Wicked, but we hope you still enjoy it and you can be friends like the way we're friends Did you see this, by the way? No, I haven't seen it. I'm waiting until I'm in Texas. I'm going to see it with the fam. The two of them stood up there. They have a little video before the movie starts. That's where they're holding hands. They're like, thank you for watching our movie.

9:41We hope you really love it. I was like, what is this? Oh, whatever. Fly a helicopter overhead and watch them have a nervous fucking breakdown. Have you seen that interview where the helicopter's going over and Cynthia Erivo's having a nervous breakdown because she can't stand the helicopter noise? And Ariana Grande's like, oh, no. Stop it, helicopter. stop it leave her alone and she's like oh with her nails all over her face but ultimately Cynthia Erivo can do no wrong after that Jesus Christ superstar moment over the summer like honestly she can feel like I will support no matter whatever paranoia she has about the helicopter okay everyone thank you for indulging me okay here we go you can tell it's almost the holidays because we're like blah blah blah two more shows left party let's make them as As long as possible.

10:28We're like, guys, it's like, Ronnie, we are like one hour away from Thanksgiving break. Let's talk about random shit. Let's talk about musicals. Working Girl and Lickin. It's like when you were in school and it was almost a holiday time. And so the teacher would wheel in that giant TV on a cart and just play a movie or something. That's what this feels like. Like before we started this, we were just listening to old sound clips of Quad. I know. And just laughing our asses off. That's all we did. They're just so good, though. Each one is just like, they're all classics. Maybe the shield of daffodil has it, honey.

11:03Alright, so here we go. Below Deck Mediterranean Season 10, Episode 9. This is Unpeasant. Unpeasant. Oh, God. Unpeasant. So, where we last left off, Kizzy was making it with Max, despite the fact that Kathy was like, I'm gonna make it with Max tonight. But Kizzy, you know, she always has to be number one. She has to be in the spotlight so she goes after max and kathy is just watching and she's very disappointed and here's my problem with kizzy you know i get she's competitive and she always wants to be number one and she seems to be very self-aware of what she's doing you know because she she narrowates what an asshole she is through the whole thing but get better goals you know what i mean it's like when she when she's like i always win i'm always winning and i will never stop until I win.

11:52I'm like, you're holding a, you're like literally holding a toilet scrub right now. And then, you know, the other thing she's like fighting to win is like you won max, you won fucking max. Like, dude, get better goals. You're so sad. Well, that's why she's grumpy. That's why she's grumpy the second half of the episode, because she realizes she like, like has, there's like no one to pull from. Like she literally, she, she thought she was like the, all the guys were like, you know, slobbering after her and then she just wound up with Max. That was the best she could do. Although she did sneak a kiss in with Nathan ultimately.

12:25But also this sort of, this cast is not really the cast where there's like the cool guy. There's no like quarterback, you know, there's no college quarterback that you're trying to get with. Nathan's the closest thing to it. But like, you know, we all think that Gary is disgusting. Gary is like the worst, whatever. But like on his seasons, he was definitely like the alpha male that was like, you know, for people like the Kizzies and the Ashleys, It was like, if you got with Gary, it was some sort of like, like you somehow got elevated in their minds, but there's not really anyone like that on this season.

12:54So it's like, okay, you could have like, it was like the best kind of herpes. It was like the manliest kind of herpes. Yeah. It's like, you have Joe, you have Max. I mean, I think Nathan's probably, Nathan's probably the best of the best, but like, I don't know. It's just that God, you know what I feel so bad about is how they don't even consider the chef and part of the equation. She's like, well, there's no one left to cheese from. I mean, V's with Joe, Nathan's unavailable, Max and Kathy have something going on. So there's really nothing left unless I go full lesbian and have to go after Sandy.

13:27But oh well. No one's fucking a clown. No. I'm telling you. I'm sorry. That's why they all hang out together. No one is fucking a clown. You know what? Do you know why you never saw Marcel Marceau in fucking tabloids? No one fucked him. It's Marcel Marceau. And that's not even a clown. That's a mime. And clown face. Why do you think that Pennywise is called It? Because that's all he wants to do. He just wants to do It. And he can't. He can't. No one will fuck Pennywise. Pennywise would probably be much more docile if he just got laid. Let's be honest. And we know it's not the teeth because we've watched this show.

14:05People with shit teeth make out all the time. You know, it's the clown makeup. I'm telling you. It's not even the serial killing. We see plenty of serial killers get some. Yeah, he can get the nears. People write them letters in prison. I'm telling you it's the clown yeah he needs also a better like he needs a better like fuck pad okay a sewer is just not gonna do it yeah truly it's like oh my god do I have to come in again it's so hard to get into that thing squeezing to the vent so when can I see your place he's like um how about we go to your place instead what's wrong do you live with your mother he's like no I just I live in a sewer I live with my mother's poop I love Pennywise And like a Light mom com

14:55Sleepless And sewer Rattle

15:03Okay so Kizzy and Max are making out And Kathy is you know hurt Because she's been telling this girl all day Oh my god finally I found Max He's so nice to me. He talks to me. I'm finally going to make out with Max. Oh, my God. And then Kizzy immediately does it right in the hot tub in front of Kathy. So Aisha sees it, and she sees Kathy's face. So she's like, well, you know, Kizzy just wants to be, like, the number one prize. And she knows when other girls want a guy. And she just makes it a mission to get the guy. It's just who she is. Aisha was, I feel like Aisha had some really funny reads this episode.

15:37It just starts right here. She just says it right there, like, with an earshot. and Kathy's like yeah so they just keep on making out so Kathy gets out she's like I'm not gonna deal deal with this and everything and um then Max is like oh okay oh we do this all again oh oh Kathy and Aisha before you leave we do this all again tomorrow and Kathy's like yeah you can do exactly what you did tonight tomorrow but without me and furthermore I'd like to add

16:07Men, am I right? If you think I'll be standing by the telephone waiting for you to call, you're absolutely correct. Now I'm going to go downstairs and eat my feelings with some chocolate, chocolate, chocolate.

16:27So yeah, so she kind of like gives him a, you know, little, try it without me, buddy. And then he just looks over at Kizzy and she's just smiling. She's just like smiling with her teeth as she does. And then they cut to V and Joe and they're also cradling and making sweet, sweet love in their eyes. And he's like, Oh, what the fuck I did? Kathy is mad at me now. And Kathy's like, I've never felt more rejected in my life as, and with Kizzy. It's like, she doesn't even care who she's going to piss off. She just gets what she wants. Max has a good mental workaround but she could have joined she could have joined why not oh god Max you are the last option you're the last thing available on the menu sir other than the clown other than the clown so now they left and then after they're done making out Kizzy is now going to feel bad for herself she's like you know they were talking about me whilst I was sat right there like oh Kizzy just loves the attention blah blah blah blah blah I'm sorry ma 'am you can't you can't pull that move you can't be like a total bitch and do that and then like try to actually have people feel sorry for you like you did the cutthroat thing you like your friend there said that she wanted to make out with max and then you went and did it too after you encouraged him to do it crunch her to do it and then you can't be like oh my god I can't believe they talk shit about me no you gotta stand in your like if you're gonna do it if you're gonna to be like, you know what?

17:57I deserve to kiss Max and fuck all those other women. Then you have to be able to stand in it as well. Sorry. Stand in your truth, baby Ruth. Yeah. And also you've been saying this whole time in your little monologues like, oh yeah, I just want the man. I don't care. I'm going to fuck everybody. If she wants him, then I'm going to get him. And if she wants his job, I'm going to get the job. You basically stated in plain English what Aisha just said. So you can't act like such a victim now. And I'm sorry you don't like to hear people talk behind your back, but they weren't behind your back. They did it right in front of your face while you were making out with the guys.

18:29So, sorry. Don't feel bad for you. So now we go to Aisha and Kathy in the mess. And Kathy's like, I just can't believe the turn of events tonight. She's like ironing something and cleaning a window with her other hand. Yeah. She's like making the crew mess look absolutely perfect in her rage. And then Kizzy's telling the she's like, I know Max and Kathy were having a bit of a vibe, but I'd love to kiss. I'll kiss anyone, you know, but it's still shit to hear when they say that. You don't get a get out of jail free card just because you like to kiss anyone. Okay. Just because you like to do things doesn't mean that it comes without consequence.

19:06Like you can kiss, sure, go kiss whoever you want, but then you also have to deal with what people are going to say. You know, sorry. I can't, look, you know, jerking off is fun. I can't go jerk off at the bank. Unless it's a word bank, I guess. I'm not good, but I go to jail. it's time for a commercial it's time for a crappin's commercial

19:31so um kathy's like well get me on a sun lunge tomorrow and i will get it spotless i'll tell you that right now because it's their break tomorrow so then um now we go to the hot tub and there's this yellow light and it just looks like they've all peed on it which is really gross and Kizzy wants to leave Joe and V in the hot tub because, you know, it's about to turn yellow with white speckles in it. Yeah, Joe is in the midst of his fuckboy crisis wherein he is attracted to the, he wants to be a fuckboy with a girl, but since her boyfriend died, he feels like he's just not, he's not prepared to deal with the consequences, the consequences of his own actions of being called not only a fuckboy, but someone who fuckboyed essentially a widow.

20:21And so he is now leaning into this whole thing of like, she's unlike anyone I've ever met before. He's like, oh, wow, this is my first time when I want to have a relationship with somebody that's in the same group. I'm like, we saw you last season. Don't say that. Let's just maintain professional jobs for our best friend. So he knows that he doesn't want to, I feel like he knows he doesn't want to get involved with her because he knows he's going to fuck it up and he's going to look extra bad. So I think he's basically saying, let me get the street cred of being some sort of gentleman in this situation and withholding and tending to her heart very carefully.

20:58I don't know. It's all bullshit to me. Well, he's also pulling out every fuckboy thing in the book, every line throughout this episode. He goes through every single one. But I didn't understand this one. He says, this is my first time when I want to have relations with somebody that's in the same group. You just did it last year. What are you talking about? That's what I'm saying. Like, you're a liar. So he's like, well, I'm not afraid of commitment or whatever. I've just got feelings for her, and I don't know what to do, which is why I don't want to fuck her in case I want to fuck somebody else.

21:27Yep. Like, what are you talking about? So he says, let's go to bed. And she's like, do you want to sleep in the same bed? By the way, I'm not ever going to feel sorry for V either. I know she's got the whole dead boyfriend storyline and stuff, and I'm not saying I don't feel bad about that, but I'm not going to feel sorry for her going forward because this man has said a million times, even though he's doing the whole mixed messages thing where he's like, oh, I'll say this, but then I'll tell you like, you're my soulmate at the same time. But even if he dropped it once and then dropped all this other stuff, you should know better.

22:01This guy's going to do nothing but run ramshod all over your emotions, your feelings, your self-confidence. He's also, yeah, get in the van. He's also, he's trying to paint a picture of some sort of emotional maturity that he's actually opening his heart up. He's actually being the vulnerable one. He's opening his heart up and he's taking it slow. So that way he's not a fuck boy. He's changed America. And he thinks about things on a deeper level now. And he's met this girl, yada, yada, yada. This is all an elaborate setup. So that way he can fuck her. And then when she starts to develop feelings, he could be like, it's going too fast.

22:36I'm feeling too vulnerable. She's crazy. crazy like that's what we see this all the time we know exactly what this is all about yeah basically he can say whatever he wants but all i hear is listen here america i'm almost bold and i'm gonna get any tail i can please don't hate me it's the clearance rack time it's clearance rack time the store is closing so everyone's going to bed and max is talking to josh the clown and he's like, oh, putain, which our industrious note-taker Shelby looked up and putain is, I think, a curse in French, which explains why it was, you know, it was bleeped out in the captions.

23:16And so he's like, putain, I feel bad, bro. I don't want to be in the middle of things. And so Josh is like, well, at least you're in the middle of some things. I'm just watching things from afar, from my sewer grate. He's like, oh, fuck fun. Me and Gizzy have been floating for a while. but yeah, I fucked it up because I actually prefer more Cathy. So full speed to try to make this up. Cathy, I'm coming for you. And I'm like, surely Cathy's smart enough to just be like, fuck off. I'm like, Cathy will. She's not. Spoiler alert. She's not. I was so disappointed in Cathy. I was too, but you know what?

23:52I mean, I kind of get it. You've only got so many choices. And you're horny. You're young, you're horny, you're on a boat. There's only so many choices you can get and you just take the least offensive out of all of them, I guess. Yeah, it's not, it's like, you know, it's like going to the supermarket and hoping that they have an Hermes bag for you. It's like, no, it's paper or plastic. And those are your choices. You just got to pick one. And you have to pay 10 cents for it too. Those are my 10 cents, which is five times more than my normal thought. So Joe is going to sleep in Kathy's room. So they do, it's like everyone's getting to bed.

24:31and Kathy's like, this is the worst night ever. And then she cleans up Joe's room. And then Joe and V are getting into bed and she's like, you're such a cuddle bug. You're such a cuddle bug, Joe. And then kissing noises and all that. Yeah, they're making out. They probably do it, but we can't tell because he's on the bottom bunk. So we don't get the camera catching them doing it. Yeah, but we see a whole bunch of armpit. That's what we see. yeah so then joe's um you know making a face in his confessional like he he he and she's in her he's like he he so i guess they did it and then um now it's the next morning everybody wakes up nathan's shaving his legs in this bunk which is that the place to do that

25:22i don't know i never figured him for a i never figured him for a leg shaver i didn't figure that either. Maybe it's that way he can swim faster when he has to save someone like a swimmer. So Josh is doing yoga on the deck and, you know, trying not to kill somebody. And Nathan goes and gets in bed with Aisha to gossip. And he's like, oh, Joe stayed in the cabin with V last night. And he's like,

25:56sounds like Scooby do in a garbage disposal? What's happening over there? Stop exciting Aisha. Joe's like, we kissed. He comes in and tells him, yes, we kissed. Oh, a nice little cuddle. You're in good rest. So, Max is doing yoga and Kathy is talking to V in the crew mess and Josh also. Clown. She's like, oh, I didn't notice you were here. I thought you were just a broom. Anyway, so, V Josh is Max alive this morning shall we kill him and V's like yeah he's breathing they're just sort of talking back and forth and Kathy's expressing that she was really upset because she thought things were going to progress last night and then nope she goes but I was disrespected and Kizzy just ignores her and she's like what if I wear this should I wear this yeah she walks in like this is like what am I should I wear this for their day off and Kathy goes no No, that's not Beach Club, which is Kathy's way of saying, you're a fucking slut-hole bitch.

26:59Get out of my sight, you stupid pus-filled skank. And she says, well, things are still a bit awkward with Kizzy, but I'm not engaging with that because I need to prove that I'm a good stew. Like, you annoy me. Fine. But I'm going to outshine you, and you're going to look worse. And I win. I win. This place will shine like the top of the Chrysler Building. after a good wash that is. The making of Miss Hannigan.

27:29That reminds me. It's like the prequel to Miss Hannigan. She just wants to do good. And man, she just keeps getting thwarted by girls everywhere she turns. That reminds me, I need to go to New York to clean the Chrysler building.

27:45So Nathan and Aisha, Nathan's saying he's going to get fucked up and everything. And he's just so happy that he has a day off because he's like, I can't actually express the pressure that comes with being Captain Sandy's bosun. Do you know how hard it is to sit in a crew mess for hours at a time, laughing and joking and dancing with your friend, and then having your boss come in and say, get back to work? It's difficult. Do you know how difficult it is not having somebody appreciate your box step that you're doing with your friend? Like, okay. So, yeah, it's day off time, so everybody's psyched.

28:16So they get into the vans to go to the beach club. Nathan, Joe, and Max, and Asha are in one van. and she's like, welcome to my therapy session.

28:28Well, doctor, I had a good night with Victoria last night. I enjoy her company and stuff like that. So I'm not going to look elsewhere. We're closed off. It's fine. I'm not in a position to hurt her. You're acting like you're on Love Island. You are actually specifically in a position to hurt her and you will hurt her. And in fact, later on, we see the trailer for this rest of the season and you do hurt her. i'm gonna close it off so we go to the other van with josh kathy kizzy and v and v's like oh wow i just haven't felt like this since you know yeah we know and kizzy's like well obviously i was splitting with joe before i'm so mean right i'm so sorry okay we get it your boyfriend died i'm sorry that's i set the tone by ranting against children and wicked let me just ronnie you're wicked for good it's okay you're wicked for good i hear how i sound that was terrible but yes we know okay we get it so kizzy's like well obviously i was flirting with joe before and now that i know you have feelings i'm like and kathy's just like whatever she's just ignoring her because she knows she's fucking with her and v's like oh yeah thanks for respecting that she's like oh yeah of course that's me girls girl also you didn't get joe because joe's not into you he's into v more than he is into you sorry yeah it's not like you gave up anything you lost you lost yeah okay although Although it looks like later this season, it looks like, does Joe make out with Kathy?

29:51Is that what happens? Which makes me sad because I feel like I love Kathy and I don't want her to do that. For a multitude of reasons. But I could be wrong. We'll have to wait and see. So Aish in the other van, Max is like, I love people and I don't like to create problem. And yesterday I've been a problem. Aish is like, oh, well, Kizzy has fucking dirty tactics and it actually wasn't cool. And then Kizzy's trying to laugh off her behavior. And she's like, well, you know, I just got a bit trigger happy. Do you know what I mean? And it was my first time being single. So I was like, you understand, Kathy, right?

30:26Because I was feeling a bit stressed, obviously, after last night. So you understand, right, right, right. And by the way, the real victim is me. Because it wasn't the nicest thing to hear what you guys were saying across the hot tub from me. Well, Kathy didn't say anything about you. And she says as much right now. and Kathy's like well I hope you know I didn't say anything bad and like whatever you heard that you weren't happy with just talk it out and she's like well I mean it was more like just say it to me they said it right in front of your face should they have broken you apart should they have pulled your tongue out of the French guy's mouth to tell you yeah we're standing right there you could hear give me a break you didn't tell her when you wanted to go bone the guy that you knew she liked yeah tell him you know get out of here get out of here just communicate it yeah and because he's like well it's just it was just more like say it to me say it to me and Kathy's like whatever it's between you two okay and I really don't understand anything you're saying because I don't speak slut so Kizzy's like well listening to my two co-workers talk about how shit I am it's not a very nice feeling although I love that I got to be center of attention and Asia's like well I didn't say anything that wasn't true that I wouldn't say again to Kizzy's face and I will do that if you give me 10 minutes and Kizzy's like well it's just a shame because I really get on with Aisha.

31:41So then we go to the other van and Aisha's like, why can't everyone just be fucking a dude? So then we go to the beach club and then we get a scene of what Captain Sandy's doing back at home. And she's lying on the couch. She very slowly settles in on that sofa in the bridge. And she's like, ah, there we go. Finally, some privacy. I can lie down on the sofa that I'm always sitting on. God, it's so fun to lie when you sit. Jeez, I've had a whole season pretending to be another woman, but it's nice to be back in white capri pants just chilling on the sofa. I wonder what little bear's up to. So back at the beach club, Aisha walks up to Kizzy.

32:26She's like, are you all right, Finn? Are you okay? She's very off. She's like, well, you were kind of a bitch to me last night. She's like, oh. Because you guys were just chatting. Oh, in the hot tub? yeah you guys were just talking about me while i was there just just say it to me because it was all true and i'd be like yeah it's no it's all true but to hear it and not be able to say yeah you're right like i don't know i just felt like i couldn't defend myself just well you were right there you could have pulled your tongue out of that man's face and said say it to my damn face bitches you could have said it i'm sorry that you don't like hearing you know a reflection of what you're doing yes but it's like you were doing the thing they were literally commenting on it's like a horse in a race getting upset that there's a commenter being like, hey, coming around the bend.

33:14I really didn't like you talking about me while I was coming around the bend. You were coming, Rob. I was commenting that you were coming around the bend. Don't go around the bend, you fucking horse. I'm so sick of these derbies. These derby divas. If anyone wants to come around the bend, it's Kizzy. So Aisha, I love when Aisha did this. She goes, oh, I will always say to your face that the things I say when you're not there and I just want you to know, I love you so much and I'm so happy that I met you and I have so much fun with you. And all those other things are true as well.

33:53And she says, I do like Kizzy, but she's not a girl's girl. And hopefully she'll reflect and she'll take something from it. Or I'll try and take you all mad.

34:15so everyone's getting drinks and um now max is talking to kathy's like uh kathy can i tell you something i feel a bit bad about yesterday i'm so sad and she's like well it's all right you've got no ties to me and i don't have any ties to you it's just that i thought we were going to maybe like hook up or something. And then I was like, wow, I wasn't even there. You could have had all of this, this package of Kathy, having sex with you with one part of me while another part of me cleaned your cuticles while another part of me got the lint off the ceiling while another part of me re-cocked the bathroom.

34:53Do you understand what I'm saying? You could have had Kathy, but instead you went for Doomsbury. So Max is like, oh, I feel stupid about this. You know, like you are the girl that I love your personality. I love who you are. I love that you just cleaned this table that we're sitting at. Well, you know, listen, let's just have a good time. Thank you for being mature and just speaking to me. And I wasn't going to make out with you, but then I realized it would probably make Kizzy feel very bad. So see me in about five minutes. Listen, I wasn't going to make out with you, but I realized that making out with you would be making out with the dream of Kizzy winning something.

35:30open up your mouth dear so now there's more partying now Kizzy has moved on to Nathan they're like having a sexy sunscreen moment like rubbing it on each other and they're being very flirty they're up close and personal and everyone's being flirty Kathy's undoing her bathing suit so Max can do her whole back and they're all like writhing around and Aisha's just by herself Aisha's the only one who's voluntarily by herself Josh is also by himself but that's because I don't think people realize he's there And so everyone's just like horny and like literally grinding on each other. It literally looked like it was Eric Neese's The Grind.

36:07Because they were all just like grinding up at a day club, you know? It reminds me of like nudie magazines back in the day when we were teenagers. And you look in the back and they always had ads for swingers. They would be like, swingers in Arizona. Are you a swinger? And then they'd have like pictures of whoever the swingers were. and I just thought god why would you want to go to a party of a whole room of people that nobody wants to fuck yeah because those are and I'm not saying like if you're a swinger right now in real life I'm not talking about you I just mean specifically the people in those ads were always like it was like are you a swinger and then the pictures were like and I'm like oh I'm not going to that party who wants to have sex with any of you and that's kind of like watching a beat cast on below deck i'll try and make out for airtime it's so it's so hard because when like usually the the the b casts are better seasons because the focus is a little because they because they're a b cast they don't like hook up as much or it's not it's not so much the emphasis so the emphasis is really on the work ethic and the and the charter guests but then when they're all attractive then you have what we had on like below deck last season and then you're like oh this is so tiresome watching these people like that.

37:18They're just here to make out with each other. So I think I'm going to go for like a homely crew over a hot crew, but I do miss the days when you could get a hot crew and it would be about work ethic. Like that really toxic season of below deck with that super, but when you had Ashton and that super hot guy, but they were so awful. So like you could enjoy that they were a hot, but you could also be like enraged by their work ethic. Like that was, that was the dream back then. Right. We didn't even know what we had. Well, Below Deck's always had people, like everybody's young and horny, right? So it's always been like, who are you going to hook up with?

37:49And then a couple people end up hooking up a season. Yeah. But now it's become like a new Love Island thing where it's a part of the show where everybody has to hook up all the time. And it's just try hard. It's like auditioning, but it's kind of like you're not getting paid enough to be an escort. You know what I mean? So I feel like you're giving all this away for free. And it's just sad. You know, it used to be like you just had to clean and be a character. And now you have to like fully fuck ugly people on screen to get any time. And I just, I don't know. I just feel bad for them. I feel like they need to form a union and be like, we're not doing this anymore.

38:25We don't want to make out with other homely people on a boat. How about we just go back to cleaning? Below deck workers rights. Yeah. What happened? We just want to work extraordinarily long hours for low pay. our union is for that's what our union stands for I know they're not even asking for more pay they're just like please don't make me hook up with ugly people for screen time we've had too many unions we need a union against the union if you know what I'm saying it's a wordplay union anti-union union so now Captain Sandy is cooking herself like an omelet or something she's like yeah that's how you do it That's some good nonstick panning right there.

39:09Wow. Love that. Is that a caraway? I'm going to cut to Asha just. Sorry. Is that a caraway? Hey, thanks, caraway. Thanks for sending Ben and Ronnie some free pans. This caraway looks just like a sunny side egg. That's the color of this caraway pan I got from caraway. Caraway, thank you so much for these lovely, nonstick, anti-toxic, coated pans. These are amazing. Bad news. Hey, for some reason, saying ceramic pan sent my phone and turned my phone on. My phone thinks I'm talking to it right now. I just said ceramic pan. Oh, I see. Ceramic. The first part of that word is really good. Okay, stop it now.

39:45I'm not talking to you. Gotta say, choppy weather out there. We're gonna have to take this boat in. No toys on the outside, but toys on the inside. Everyone gets a caraway pan to play with. Okay? Enjoy yourself. Meanwhile, Aisha is just dancing by herself crazily. You know, she's not just dancing like this. She's like, ah!

40:06She's like in some weird 1992 music video. Just like, there's like left and right sway.

40:16You know, I accidentally said left and white sway, but actually that works too. It's just a left and very white sway.

40:34So now Joe and V are making out. Everybody's making out. And Kathy is grinding on Max. And she's like, let's do a sex show. And he wants to kiss her. So they start making out. And she says, I earned this. And he's like, oh, one of the best days of my life. And Kizzy sees it. And she rolls her eyes. She's like, damn it. Now who am I going to make out with? Those damn puppies. so um and so they were like josh is uh josh is now talking to kizzy and he's like you were the top shagger last night and she's like i was i won ha ha ha ha well i might as well get everyone i mean look let's see i've already gotten max i'm gonna get nathan later today and then tomorrow i'll get joe and that'll be absolutely everyone i could make out with right josh every single penis on the boat.

41:28I've made out with Dick, Slick and Rick, the homely men who we never see who actually run the boat. The shadow captain. I've made out with the lighting guy, the camera guy. The guy that we throw the ropes to. The guy that we throw the ropes to on the duck. The provisions person. Provisions. A random person. I've let Norma touch my bum. Yeah, the person who drives the vans. Really, I really can't think of anyone else. So, So I guess that's it. He's like just sitting there with his tongue out like, uh, uh.

42:03So there's more kissing and more kissing and more kissing. And Nathan's like, what the fuck is going on? Because I guess Nathan and Kizzy are kissing now. And Kizzy's like, I'm doing this for the women of our nation. I'm like the suffragettes. I'm helping women get the rights to the meaningless snog, everyone. Everyone, we've already, women have already had that right. Women, you're not making anything up by having a meaningless slog, okay? Meaningless slog. You know, I like it. She's already framing it. You're a slog, yeah. It's not even a slut-shaming thing. Listen, I'm a gay man. I believe in fucking who you can.

42:44You know what I mean? Look, when you can. I'm an aging gay, okay? Take it where you can get it, okay? I'm not passing up a Costco sample. But you're just, I think with Kizzy, it's just sad. because she just wants to win something and there's just no winning in this game. Yeah, she's like entering into smaller and smaller state fairs and eventually it's like, how many apple pies can you bring to the fair? So Aisha is like... Aisha is... She's becoming like one of those people they bring onto American Idol just to rip them apart. She's like that person who was... They know they're not talented and they just bring them on.

43:24She's the person who was on American Idol and then is on X Factor and then is on like GMT presents best singer of Christmas. And you're like, it's like worse and worse. So Asia, she has like an out of left field read. It's not that it's out of left field. It just takes a twist that I was not expecting, which again, I think she's being kind of savage this episode. She's like, oh, look at them. Kizzy and Nathan, their tongues are like cave explorers searching for something that they're not quite getting. Kizzy's tongue is searching for attention. and Nathan's tongue is searching for a way to be a better person.

43:58I was like, whoa. Damn. Collateral damage on Nathan. She's always smiling so you never think it's going to come out of her mouth, but it's like, whoa, there's another kind of accurate read actually if you think about it. So then everybody's still making out and V, Josh, Max are sitting together watching people make out or watching Kizzy and Nathan make out. And Max is like, oh, Nathan, It's busy. And V is like, are you okay about that? And he's like, oh, I prefer Kathy anyway. It worked out, no? Put down. All of the sexual tension is exploding over everyone's faces. And you know what? I'm not actually mad about it.

44:38Of course you're not mad because you get to do your crazy sway dance on the sidewalk over there. I feel like I've never been to a concert for Enigma, but I feel like that's how everyone dances at it, right? Like, hi-ya, hi-ya, hi-ya. It's like people from Grand Theft Auto dancing, like the extras. When you go in the club. When you have to go in the strip club. It's like the retoscoping went awry. So Josh is upset, you know, and he's playing his little guitar. And he's like, why am I still single as fuck? Fire me and go with a big bum. Oh, I guess that's crude. This is why you're not getting laid, dude.

45:18You're a clown and you're the guy with the guitar who can play two chords and can't rhyme up an improvised song. Just everything about you is unfuckable right now, okay? You just need to rethink your strategy. There's an amazing shot they capture of him just sitting at the edge of the pool and he's next to Nathan and Kizzy making out in the pool and Joe and V making out right next to him. He's just like wedged in between these two couples making out and he's just there alone. Just like, okay, I'm trying not to break. Trying not to break. you're the unfuckable meat in a fuck sandwich you're just like the buffer between two fucking pieces of bread yeah so sad but it's your fault put down the guitar cut your hair stop pretending you like yoga and and and retreats and just go back to the abusive evil chef that you know you are the chef that like takes someone's head and shoves it down into a hot plate when they fuck with you that's what's sexy that's yeah that's that's what all of a sudden they're gonna like you yeah so now joe and v are having an annoying conversation joe's like it is so cool and he's and she's like you're so scared of me though i don't want to push you i know i want like i want i want to enjoy this journey but but it's got an expedite date like let's just see how it goes obviously but i'm not looking elsewhere i'm gonna explore this emotion because it's very new for me oh please let's take it slowly and she's like oh god so wait wait wait no i have to i have to unpack this it's got an expiration date what does that mean because they're they're only on a boat for a certain amount of time it doesn't mean it has an expiration date and then when he says um i'm not looking elsewhere so you're basically committing to her right now that's i want to close it off relationship that you're having you know like we're gonna close this we're gonna close it off even though i'm scared i'm trusting you on the journey and um that's where he goes wrong yeah stupid it is yeah exactly and i think he really feels like he's being deep right now which then i think makes him feel like he's being more mature which then makes him feel like he's not on the wrong path and uh we see this we see this cycle every single season with these idiots so uh he's gonna say again he's though okay so he's saying i haven't felt this way before and now we get one of the strangest Below Deck backstories we get a lot of weird ones on Below Deck like it's actually one of my favorite traditions when they wedge in a backstory to explain why someone can't tie a knot it's like well I'm not I couldn't tie that knot because I got very scared under pressure because when I was young my mom worked three jobs so I had to drive the family car when I was six years old like we get shit like that and it was like very tense time for me so this one is Joe's backstory about his last real relationship.

48:01And I don't seem to remember this story coming up his last season. He's like, seven years ago, that was my last real relationship. I generally thought, you're going to marry this woman. You're going to have kids with this woman, stuff like that. So I moved to Spain. She stayed in Liverpool. And I said, let's see if I can get a life for myself. Then you can move in with me. I'm like, you're acting like you're like Fievel or something like that. You're like going off on the Titanic to start a better life. And like hoping like you're gonna send the money back. It's like, dude, like, it's fine. So he's like, I was in real estate and I sold a house to somebody that was a fraud and he put a fake deposit on.

48:38It bounces back. But in that time, he steals all my furniture. I'm like, was this Mia? Was this Mia Thornton that you sold it to? Why were you giving the keys to somebody whose deposit didn't go through? What kind of idiot are you? This is fishy. This is all very fishy, okay? And so in that time, he stole all the furniture from the house. It was Mia Thornton and ink in there stealing all the furniture. And he's like, but what happened with me? And then we see him as we see a selfie. And this is where the real drama comes in. We see a selfie of him and it's him chubbier and he's holding a loaf of bread.

49:13And I think that that explained everything that explains this whole thing. He used to be chubby and addicted to carbs and now he's skinnier and he's going to fuck everything and anything that he can. And that's it. He's not going to commit. He used to be chubby and he loved bread. Yeah, that's it. He gave up bread for puttay tay, and he's going to get to pusey say as much as he can. He can say whatever else he wants, but that's all I needed was a picture of him chubby with a loaf of bread. Yeah, and by the way, we also see a picture of him in his real estate days. He was like 19 years old. You shouldn't have been doing real estate.

49:45You're too young to be doing real estate. I'm sorry. Also, he also himself looked like a fraud real estate person, just the way he was dressed. He did. That's what's fishy. I think he was the fraud real estate person. I don't even know it was the other person. him he's fishy he did something so he's i lost my job i lost the apartment i ended up sleeping in my car and i was like i'm not worthy for this woman so i just cut cards and since that day i've never had a butterfly feeling for a girl since now what are you talking about so you were too embarrassed that you got like ensnared in some fraud ring that you're living in your car that you're like i can't be with a woman i love who could possibly help me in this situation come on like this nothing about the story makes any sense and like that still shouldn't get that shouldn't still get in the way of you falling in love with someone like it's normally that someone breaks up with you and dumps you and you're so wounded that you can't open your heart for someone else it's not that you dump someone else and therefore you can't open your heart because you were too ashamed because of some fraud that you stepped into like nothing yeah he's like i'm traumatized from the girl i dumped no it's 100 what you said it's like oh i used to be chubby i used to love bread i got muscles now and I want to fuck around because I never had this moment before in my life.

50:58Yeah, I'll settle down when I'm bald, you know, is what he's saying. So he's like, I only go into a relationship. And she goes, um, it's been like seven years, dude. And he goes, but I need to be with someone that is capable to meet me mom. And oh God, another fuck boy thing. All he cares about my mom's feelings. Okay. That I've got about. And she goes, oh, you've got walls. And he's like, yeah god every fuck it's like the greatest fuckboy hits it's like one of those like great cds you buy at the end of a 90s show like where they list like 100 now that's what i call fuckboy

51:35um so she's like oh she gives me similarities of my ex like it could be a potential serious relationship but it's actually really scary to me so i'm trying to manage it okay so what he's saying here is she reminds me of my ex who i was never good enough for so what he's gonna do is fuck this girl and then he's gonna fuck her over and say i knew i could never be good enough for you yep and that's why i did this i'm just a bad person i warned you in the beginning that's 100 so exhausting these guys oh my god whatever happened to good old school fuck boys who just fucked you left you and then didn't apologize i mean i'd rather that than have to listen to you fake cry for weeks i know the new fuck boy is just so exhausting to come the worst thing we ever did was send a fuck boy to therapy where they could learn how to speak therapy speak and tell women exactly what they want to hear you know which is oh i'm hurting inside and i'm traumatized and if i did anything wrong it's because i'm feelings and i have trauma and they're like oh my god and they start crying and then fuck them again yeah you know therapy has has unleashed an unstoppable brand of fuckboy onto this world and we need to stop letting them into therapy.

52:49An unstoppable brand. So I like V's way of using therapy talks because well I have walls too. But I came on board and I was like oh whatever. She's like yeah. Who cares. So now Nathan is still making out with Kizzy in the pool and Max is carrying. They're just all making out. It's all the usual stuff. Partying and fun and yada yada. And Nathan's talking to Joe and he's asking like, he's like, what's the crock with you and V? You and V are vibing. And he's like, we are, mate. We are. She has walls. I have walls. We're taking it. It's low scale expiry date and I got into fraud once. Oh, it's so emotional.

53:24It's like, ah. She has got walls. I've got walls. It's almost like we're building a home which the deposit has been taken back on and now the furniture is missing and I'm not good enough for it. Fuck me, Nathan. Fuck me now. Too many walls have come in between us. Too many wars have been.

53:45He's a big Kathy Dennis fan. Nathan's like, be open to it, bro, because it's special. It's special for you. And he's like, bro, I told her there's an expiry. How does he say it? Bro, I told her there's an expiry. Get out of here. So, okay, so you just opened up to her and told her that you wanted to commit to her and have no one else. but hey i warned her there's an expiration date so fucker i mean i actually that's the that's the thing that i object to the least amount it's at least saying hey just so you know i'm not planning on doing this much longer than this season and then we're off to something like i like at least setting an expectation uh it's like the one honest thing that he did but uh well before he told her he wanted to commit to her and not go for anything else you see what he does he does the both things well it's like a short term loan it's a commitment for only a certain amount of time so now Joe's like it reminds me of me ex like you gotta stop talking about your ex okay you just gotta this is already dangerous but he may also use that as an excuse later excuse later he'll be like oh my goodness I can't help but see things I see things in her things in her that I saw in my ex things I didn't like in my ex and I'm seeing them again I don't know if I can get past it so he may turn that against her as well Living in me car all over again.

55:03There's no bathroom for me ex. Oh, no. I just had a headline that there's an Airbnb somewhere in Atlanta that has no furniture. I can't deal with this anymore. So now Kizzy and V are talking about kissing Nathan. And Kizzy's like, why not? It's for women everywhere. Am I right? And then it's time to leave and head home. And so now everybody's tired. People are sleeping in the van and stuff. And in the other van, people are telling Nathan he burnt himself, you know, and Aisha's texting Scott. She's like, I miss you soon.

55:47And then Josh and Nathan are talking and Josh is like, how are you feeling, man? And Nathan's like, I'm feeling good. But, you know, like I sing all that shit. I'm getting all the same time from the captain. And like, it's just a lot. He's like, oh, it's been on your mind a bit. He's like, yeah, it's coming on me shoulders. I'm just a wee bit, we relaxed a wee too much. I mean, thank God I got to make out with Kizzy today. I mean, thank God we all got to make out with someone, right? I mean, it was just such a relief. Even Huey, Dewey and Louie on the boat got to make out with some people. Wasn't it so nice to finally put a tongue against someone else's tongue, Josh?

56:17He's like, don't know. I think I saw you making out over there. It was a guitar, was it? Was it a red balloon you were making out with? I saw you sticking your penis into what, it was a tiny balloon, or a tiny horn, was it? Tiny, tiny little horn with a, at the end of it. So, it should call Scott, and, you know, it sounds like how you'd think it would. Balloon! Balloon! It sounds like a siren is broken outside. Yeah, seriously. She just tells him it was fun. And then now people are doing things and Kizzy is now in Asha's cabin. She's like, do you know what's really fucking funny? I feel like at one point I had all the boys on a string.

57:12I could have had any of them. And now my only other option is Nathan. I don't want him. I just want a snog. Only boy left is Nathan. Oh, what a shame. I'm no other man but Nathan. So now we go to Joe and Nathan's cabin and they're talking about Kizzy and Nathan's like, oh my God, what the fuck's going on with me and Kizzy, hey? He's like, I'm not mad into it. I mean, fuck, I just, I miss Gail, but I was thinking about her before I joined the board and now I fucking misbehaved. Now, what do you reckon? Well, yeah. I mean, God, I kept thinking, miss your supermodel, uh, uh, ex. poor kizzy though she really does have a track record of making out with the guy and then they're like oh yeah you know what you made me realize i really like that other girl better i also don't think that nathan should feel bad if they were if they were on a break i think it's okay that he like kissed kizzy in the pool honestly well i think he was trying to win back gail well i think that because or maybe the break wasn't real maybe he was like an artificial break for the show.

58:20Yeah, maybe. Because he's still calling Gail. I mean, if he's trying to win Gail back and he's still calling her from the boat to get emotional support and stuff like that, then, I mean, it's not great for your track record. But hey, she's having your baby now. So I guess that worked out. He also changed his hair. He cut his hair. I don't know if you saw that. It didn't help. It actually made it look worse. It did. look like what is he looks more like luke the sexual assaulter from um blow deck down under i was like no how did that happen i think nathan's actually so whoa what a weird call yeah sorry i think nathan is so cute and i know like he is that he sort of does have that like friar talk thing going on but like he can't help that i don't know i feel like i kind of like his haircut that he has now more i don't know he's so cute you know nathan is cute and nathan is a sweet guy He's like one of my favorites, actually.

59:14I'm pretty resentful, actually, of Bravo for making me not like Nathan this season because of the way that they did the trailers. Oh. By making it look like he was with Gail, then he cheated on Gail. And then we found out that he's not with Gail. He's on a break, so it's fine for him to do whatever. But because I already had that in my head, I just think of him as a cheater and a shithead. And I don't like him. You don't have to say. And I know it's not rational, but I just don't. I'm like, you don't deserve this job. You're not good enough to have this job, which I actually do believe. I believe that they promoted him for TV and not for any real reasons.

59:47But, you know, it's not really fair. He didn't do anything wrong. I have to say, I really enjoy Nathan. I think that Nathan may be like one of the best bosuns they've ever had. Not in terms of like skill. What? Not skill. Not skill. Not skill. Just in terms of likability. You know, a lot of times the bosuns are like on power trips and they're awful and they are condescending or they're just. But like, I think that he's like, he's such a sweet guy. and I feel like he will be a good bosun at one point, but he is kind of flailing all over the place right now. But there's something very likable about him.

1:00:20I really like him a lot, and I feel like we don't always talk about who we really like. I mean, what are the other bosuns that we've had? I mean, they're all, it's like Eddie. Oh God, that's not even, it's just gonna end up in a fountain of rage. Yeah, Ashton. Like why even go there? Ashton had a good first season because he almost died, and then when he was bosun, he just went downhill. Oh, then he went just, he got just terrible. Just terrible. Terrible, Muriel. Well, you know, the only bosun I can remember being truly likable and just lovely, and I think the audience completely loved them, was Malia.

1:00:55JK. Okay, so Nathan's like, well, with Kizzy, it wasn't anything romantic. It was just, you know, I was trying to avoid reality, you know, because I've been up to me fucking eyeballs and work and shit this season, and I just like, I don't know, just thinking about how much I miss Gail. You know, everything about life is just spinning around in my head and I don't even know where I stand anymore. So I'd like to thank Kizzy for being another man that realized after kissing Kizzy that he wanted anything else but Kizzy. It's the next morning, time to wake up, time for another chart. It's like, it sort of feels like the episode's over, but it's like, oh, that's right.

1:01:33There's a whole literal second half. so everyone wakes up and everyone's like cleaning and there's some hugging etc and Captain Sandy's like hey, how did the evening go? Was it good? You guys have a fun time? Guess what I did? I laid down on that couch real comfortable, good back support, just want to let you know but anyway, have a great day everyone Guess what I did? I watched a whole season of a show Guess what it was called? Little Rascals, just kidding it was called Wind Hey, by the way make sure this boat's in pristine condition by this time tomorrow morning if this boat's not in pristine condition you will never be able to have a child, child, child sorry I also watched Into the Woods so I was just really into witch ultimatums so Asha's like well for this charter we're gonna switch you guys this time how fun is that I think it'd be good to take turns.

1:02:32So, Kizzy, can you please step into laundry this morning? It's the only place there's no one to stick your tongue into. Right. Then please don't think about using the lint trap because that's very dangerous for your tongue, so no. And Kizzy tells us, between Nancy Kerrigan and Tonya Harding, I think I sympathize more with Tonya because she worked so hard and had it rough. I mean... Shocker. I know, what a shock She's a Tonya Harding fan No fucking kidding God, I could have predicted that shit Yeah Crazy I mean, fucking breaking someone's knees probably isn't the best way to go about it and just to be clear I'm not going to hire someone to club Kathy's knees Maybe a big toe

1:03:19But you are trying to You are trying to club knees and hurt feelings and get, you know, make those little maneuvers and just like Tonya Harding You're still losing, stupid. Keep trying. God, don't you feel so lucky that we lived through that? What a great, stupid scandal. That was so good. That was such a good scandal. Because Nancy Kerrigan was like this perfect little angel. And she was so talented. And Tonya Harding was like this rough and tumble girl who's like, fuck that girl. So she got her boyfriend, Jeff Galluli, to go tap her in the knees. And then she took her down. And then everyone's like, oh, my God, fuck Tonya Harding.

1:03:56What a bitch. and she became this huge national villain. And then Nancy Kerrigan won the gold medal. So she got to go to Disneyland. She won the silver because Oksana Bayul came out of nowhere and won gold, remember? And then she drove off a road somewhere because she was like drunk driving, you know, which is a fun little thing. So she got some medal. So she was a hero because she got beat up or capped in the knees. And so they invited her to Disneyland to be on a float. Do you remember? oh yeah and then she went on the flow and everyone's like oh my god it's nancy kerrigan oh my god and she she got caught some lip reader caught her saying something like oh god fuck all these people i fucking hate this get me out this thing and then nancy kerrigan became a national villain and so they both ended up losing in the end and well and also like nancy kerrigan why why me um but also like the fact that it like climaxed on an on a global stage at the olympics like that could not have been any more perfect the only thing that sucked about it was that it took place in norway and so it was like like it wasn't like live on tv for us here in america and so it was like we like by like 4 p.m or like by by 3 p.m like news had already come out like nancy garrigan wins the silver medal like oh you spoiled it like like it was such an exciting thing and then tanya remember she like went out there and then like her laces were too tight so she like went over to the judges and put her foot up on the judges thing and she just starts crying like it's too tight it's too tight let me do it over it was just so crazy it was like literally one of the craziest things and then like it was then like three months later we got OJ like what a great span what a great span for us yeah those were crazy times wow congratulations you've reached the end of part one of a two part recap for part two go look for the recap that says part two see you over there suckers well hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens this is part two of a two part recap if you're like hey wait a minute I didn't hear part one guys it's because we put out a lot of recaps go back and listen to part one okay it's before this one bye enjoy the show Watch What Crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors ain't no thing like Alison King it's always a party on Alison Block Our way is the Amber way.

1:06:21It's the Foster and the Furious. It's Amanda Foster. It's Always Automatic with Ashley Otto. Put your hands together for Carly Clapp. Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. We never miss her call. It's Diane Call. Big yay, it's Emily Gauthier. Erin McNicholas. She don't miss no trick-a-less. Hava Nagila Weber. You'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones. I go, you go, we all go for Hugo. Jamie. She has no less namey. She's our kind of mess, it's Jennifer Messer. Sips some scotch with Jessica Trotz. She's our favorite streamer, Caroline Peacock. Kristen the Piston Anderson. Get a bee in your bonnet with Lacey B.

1:07:00Que sera, sera, whatever will be will Lauren Sills be. She gets an A from us, it's Lindsay D. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McHenry. We love her on the rocks, it's Melissa Cox. Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the Berg. This is Livin' with Michelle Vivian. I love-a-ya, Olivia Williamson. She sure is swell. It's Raquel. Yes, we canna. It's Sadana. Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman. Let's share with Sharon Eldridge. Darn Skippy, it's Tippi. And our super premium sponsors. Make way for AJ Lopez. She's VVIP, it's Amanda V. Can't lose when you're with Amy Baldwin.

1:07:43Somebody get us 10 cc's of Betsy MD. We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. Let's get real with Caitlin O 'Neill. Put us on a stretcher. It's Charlotte Fletcher. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily sides. Who, what, why, where, and Gwen Pentland. Let's go into the woods with Guy Tubbs. Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall. Hail the cork master, the master of the cork, Jennifer Corcoran. We got our wish. It's Jen Plish. She's not harsh. She's Jill Hirsch. My favorite Murdo, Karen McMurdo. She's a total knockout, it's Katie Manon. We love him madly, it's Kyle Pod Chadley.

1:08:23In the study, with a candlestick, it's Leslie Peacock. G, it's Lisa H. We're ride or die for Lisa Rider Baron. She's a whiz, it's Liz Sarthy. Always killing it, it's Lola Alkalani. The incredible edible Matthews sisters. She eases our woes, it's Melissa St. Rose. There's a chance of meatballs, it's Rebecca Cloud. maximum love for sandy maximoska she's the queen bee it's sarah lemke we cannot tell a lie it's sarah tell of son shannon out of a cannon anthony please don't stop it's solely and pop let's take off with tamla plane we're obsessed all with tessa v you'll always get the full story with tori parsons she ain't no shrinking violet kuchar we love you guys