#3126 RHOBH S15E03: All the Single Ladies

0:20Well, hello and welcome to Watch What Crapens. I'm Ronnie and that's Ben over there. Hello, Benooney Tunes. How are you doing today, buddy? Hello, hello, hello. I'm doing great. I am manifesting what sort of provider I want to be. So I think I'm kind of set for life. I've done the hard work of manifesting. How are you doing? You're putting the man in manifest, tiger. I'm doing good. I love that Amanda Francis is already so incredibly full of shit. it's just it's just a gift to us as an audience you know because now i think we're gonna we're gonna finally enter a season where dorit is not the most full of shit which is gonna be interesting because dorit's pretty full of shit dorit's full of shit they're all a lot of they're pretty much all full of shit and i'm also enjoying the bows versus amanda burgeoning issue there of like um seminar to seminar seminar on seminar violence i would say of like wait a second you know like I do seminars, but you do seminars, but your seminars are full of shit.

1:27My seminars are the good shit. So it's like, this will be fun to watch. We should actually look into Bo's seminars like we did Amanda's website last week. Maybe we'll do that later in the recap today because I'm curious what those are because I thought that was a little weird that Bo's got so instantly turned off by Amanda's like shtick. And then I didn't even think like she's got competing seminars. Ooh, let's see what they are. Bose seminars. Anyway, while I Google that, everybody, welcome to the show. Monday is our final crap, not crappy hour. We already did that. Monday is our final Amazon live for the year.

2:08And that's going to be a 4 p.m. It's going to be a good old time. We just chat with you. You chat with us. You ask us questions if you want to. We talk about stuff. We shop together. So 4 p.m. Pacific time, Monday. So join us. You can find our link in bio on Instagram. Also, if you want these videos on recap, you get them on Patreon. That's also where you get all our bonus episodes. We've got a really fun two parter coming up Friday and Monday for the traitors. We do a cast breakdown and do two episodes on it. So that's super fun. If you want to talk trash about that cast, join us over there. But today, today, today, we are today.

2:46The Badass Workshop curated by Bose. Well, here you've come to the right place because we've got your next move right here. Every session of the badass workshop is now available for you to watch. So take your first step towards building your badass self and sign up today. I mean, this sounds pretty full of shit too, right? The badass workshop. But don't forget to check out Bose's special urgent life super session where she breaks out her memoir lessons. i love it's like everyone there's an urgent session that needs to be had that's just kind of like the other sessions probably i mean i think that what bose has going for her is that she does have like she does have real credits in the world of corporate america um um i mean and amanda has sold has sold you know books and everything but yeah i kind of feel like this is a uh this is a battle royale between the seminar queens and you know the i think with these seminars just in general i have to say and i'm a skeptic because i'm also never taking them but i'm a skeptic and i feel like all these all these seminars all these self-help gurus on a certain level they may be helpful but i do feel like there is a good amount of bullshit that comes with it too you know oh yeah of course yeah yeah so you may get value from it but i feel like the business model is to get people to keep coming back so you have to feed a certain amount of bullshit so I just don't trust any of them and they know that which is why like there's only enough room for enough workshops like I feel like you kind of need to like to do the workshops my outsider view is you sort of have to like create like a cult I'm not saying that they are cults you just have to create a cult like following and that means you have to have blinders on to everything else which is why now like Bose and Amanda they would butt heads potentially over their seminars because they would be, they're literally direct competitors.

4:46Well, and when you look at their websites, they really are because Amanda's, we saw last week, it was, you know, every workshop is her in a different badass dress and, you know, looking glamorous. They're all glamour shots and like holding pretty purses and big letters saying what this chapter is about. But in Amanda's case, they're big, like girly cursive. They're like, part two, manifesting your money, bitch. and then in Bose's, Bose does not use cursive. She uses extreme bold, like extreme bold. But hers are the same. It's all pictures of her and, you know, looking beautiful. There's like a chapter one, bring the badass looking gorgeous.

5:25Chapter two, looking gorgeous, but on a floaty lips. Boardroom batty. Chapter three, in a suit in front of a bunch of flowers. Get that money, honey. Chapter four, spirit, mind, body, and wellness. And you can tell because I'm wearing something athletic, but also hot. And five, I'm in a wedding dress in an ocean. Live life urgently. I could drown right now in a wedding dress. Who wants that? So they're similar. They're similar vibes. So yeah, I'm glad you pointed that out because I forgot that Bo's even had workshops. Yeah, they haven't highlighted that at all. But when we first met Bo's, I always have this image of her walking to her seminar and she had her whole team walking behind her.

6:07They were like a second line and they were just sort of like doing this like march to the seminar together and it was so funny to me that like that shot was like it's like seared in my brain but what's interesting is i'm looking at bose's website and her workshops like her level two workshop her her her level one is fifty dollars then i'm sorry super sessions fifty dollars the urgent life level one is 100 that's five sessions level two is 150 five sessions and then level three is 250 for 10 sessions or so and I'm trying to find prices on Amanda's website and I'm not seeing a lot of prices. The only thing I did find is on the bundle page that like you can get a bundle of videos and if you were to buy each video separately, it says it would cost$2 ,700, which makes me feel like Amanda may be overcharging for whatever it is.

6:59If you're buying all her videos, you'd spend$2 ,700 whereas Bose is like, Like a class is$150. It's$150 for five classes. Where are you seeing the prices? Because when I press sign up, it's trying to get my info, and I'm not giving it to them. On Amanda? No, on Bose. Oh, on Bose, it just says thebadassworkshop.com. You just scroll down. It just says the workshop. It says the badass workshop,$150, all five sessions. It's just straight up right there. Oh, I'm on a page that says thebadassworkshop.com, but it doesn't say prices. is but anyway oh yeah there it is oh my gosh i scrolled down to the glamour shots i mean yeah it's so high up that i i didn't even look for it i was expecting it to be at the bottom yeah this is definitely cheaper than amanda's because this is worth 19 000 like oh geez so now she's gonna act like 18 000 as a bargain or something you know well i think also the fact that she doesn't really publish her prices anywhere easy to find is a huge red flag.

8:00Yeah. That's actually, like, Booze is just like, this is how much it costs. Sign up. But Amanda does not have prices anywhere. I'm trying to find them. They're not easily accessible. I mean, I'm scrolling through and that's just, she needs to manifest some prices on here, okay? Because she has a lot of information but I'm not seeing anything. Okay, let's see. I'll click on sell from your soul okay you click on this as her sitting amanda in some sort of like roughly roughly shouldered top with like a leather skirt it's the sacred art of calling in sharing with and selling to those who need your work and it's like a lot of text here's the thing why you need it i mastered this blah blah blah hi there i'm amanda francis i don't feel like a salesperson blah blah blah blah it goes on and on and on this is the platform blah blah blah fear tactics force your funnels and you scroll down and down like okay where's the good stuff how much does it cost to take this class scrolling scrolling scrolling module one oh oh here we go finally the training okay uh pre-work the soul the soulful art of sacred selling value 497 it's a 10 part see she's telling she's telling you the value but she's not value how much it is yeah that's what i three $3.97.

9:16$3.97. This is more expensive. I'm saying it right now. Yeah. So listen, if you want to get hustled with positivity, go to Bose. So I'll see you for cheaper. I also feel like there's something about how wordy Amanda's website is that makes it feel like more of a con job. It's like you're working extra hard to convince me, which has me with my red flags up. Well, yeah, that's kind of the nature of these, you know. They each have. But, you know, Boz's, like I said, is in bold and not like cursive. And they're paragraphs instead of like entire pages. So, yeah. I don't know. So let's get to it, shall we?

9:57Here we go. 1503, a match made in Beverly Hills heaven. And it's Beverly Hills. So we start with Dior, tiny dongs, lots of Clazel Zool bottles. I collect them. I love them. Got 20 of them. Sorry, I was just trying to do the violins in the background to set the stage, you know, get the tone just right for us.

10:24Bose is with Nico, her assistant, who's pulling a Lala today with his over the shoulder, but arms not in his jacket. Look, Luke. And she's like, oh, I feel like the hostess of the Bachelorette today. And he's like, and then what are the men called on that? Like the Bachelors? She's like, yeah, yes. Yes. He says it like it's like, oh, my God, are they so stupid that they call him the bachelors? It's like, yeah, Nico, that's that's what they're called. Poor sweet Nico. He's so sweet and so lovely. And sometimes he says some very dumb things and it's hilarious. You just want to hold him in your arms.

10:56Just cuddle him a little bit. Just rock him. I want to put his jacket on. That's what I want to do before his wrist catch cold. So he's like, I've never seen that show. It's for the old people date, right? She's like, um, no. So I've come to a striking revelation. almost everyone is single in this group and these girls are going through it so boz is like uh she's gonna match make yeah and she's like oh dorit's gonna be the most enthusiastic of all the girls and he's like no maybe erica she's oh erica's gonna scare them and secretly kyle's gonna be nervous it's not gonna be secret kyle's gonna be performatively nervous and um she's like oh kyle finally she can let her hair down hopefully she can do the splits or something yeah something new Yes, hopefully she can feel so relaxed she can do a split.

11:43You know, I went through my contacts list and found eligible bachelors that meet my friends' needs. I also learned that I don't have a lot of friends who are single. It's really the best I could come up with. It's kind of sad. I went through my contacts and realized, God, I know a lot of aging douchebags. So, time to have a party. So, we see the guys. They're all outside like, hey, yeah, hi. What do you do? What do you do? What are you using your hair? Everything. How about you? literally every stem cells i use stem cells in my hair that's why yeah bro yeah and we see a flashback um where boz has called the girls together and she has a whiteboard and she's like all right everyone give me adjectives for men that you like rich okay wealthy okay lots of money oh okay and what about personality wise i want this fuck i want all this fuck almost dead really pasty balls Stand up his ankles Can you find that for me?

12:39Thanks I want someone who can like Feed Kais Kais means like a lot to me Like Kais Like Kais I just want someone Like who won't hurt My ex-husband's feelings Or my daughter's I'm an actor I want someone Who is okay With fixing vending machines He'll have to do that Before he enters my house

13:03So she goes out And she meets the guys and she's like, oh, let me tell you a secret, guys. These ladies are nervous. The group chat is filled with, what do I say? What do I do? You should see the group chat. It's crazy. And suddenly we see the group chat and something's like, I can wear a cat sweater. Here's a cat, Jeff. They're saying, what do I do? Because what they're trying to ask is, how do I seem friendly even though I have no interest in these people? Like, what are the things I should say so I don't look like a total bitch on camera, even though I already know I don't want to date any of these men.

13:38None of them are famous enough. So then we go to Erica getting glam, and she's like, I just want to look like a normal human being. Try and do that today. I know it's nothing I've ever asked for, but I want to look normal, because men get scared of me, the face. Keep it young, but approachable, but not approachable. I want to look like I could give you a blowjob in the back alley, but I might, might, might, might, not, okay? Might, might, might, might. okay claim team make me look pretty that's all i want like okay i'm gonna make you look snatched well i don't wanna seem like i'm something that belongs in dorit's house you know no that's not what snatched means anymore well watch your mouth what you better watch your mouth in here okay i've already gotten a letter from the catholic church this week i need it i need a coca-cola i'm going to struggle and we see dorit she's having a moment where she's just like putting on rings and it's like what well we're seeing what dorit does when she can't afford glam she's like oh i'm gonna put a ring on a different finger i guess i'll just talk to myself if i put too many rings on here then no one can can claim me right because then we can't put a ring on it like by yon says says right oh i'm so done with the popular music so we go to boz's and uh everybody starts showing up and when Kyle and Erica come the music's like it's like well I don't know about Kyle's single state is she single because she's accepted her separation from Moe is she really even single at all hmm hmm the mystery hey sorry to interrupt your inner monologue but I do have to ask a question why'd you bring the most expensive bag Kyle and Kyle's like oh my god it's me I got like a mini Kelly shows up it shows her airman's bag$36 ,000 yanks well you're signaling high maintenance and stay away from me speaking of here's to read and it's like oh booze you're a goddess look at you i've never seen anyone so gorgeous girls have you seen booze gorgeous by the way just circling back to kyle's little message that she's gonna bring her most expensive airman's bag so that way um the guys know what they have to live up to or what they have to provide for her, I guarantee that message is going to be totally lost on them.

16:00I guarantee, especially the comedian, the comedian is just going to be like, Hey, cool bag. Did you get that at Marshall's? Yeah, they're guys. So Kyle's like, Oh my God, we're all wearing black. Why don't we all look like we're going to a funeral? Because for most of them, for everyone who's watching this show, they've just watched the future 25 minutes die in front of their eyes. Like, Oh my God. wow we're gonna be watching this for about 25 minutes of airtime we're mourning our thursday nights so rachel's like well the key is you have to try too hard like because like like if you look desperate and thirsty like evan look if you wear black on the first date you're saying i want to have sex with you so i wore black yeah because i wanted to look like i didn't think about that because i like didn't care because like i wasn't thinking i was like i died like i was like oh my god i'm gonna wear black because i'm like not even paying attention the fact that i'm like like going on a date not even realizing that i'm like dressing slutty and black i heard about this party and then i died so i dressed for my own funeral but i came back alive to come here but like i'm dead being here i'm like literally flatlined because like when i'm at home i have to wear black because like when kaios eats he spits all like all over my shirt this way it hides the stains it's like i wasn't even thinking like getting yeah it's time for a commercial It's time for a Crappens commercial

17:27So Erica's like I look like a maid that's about to get bent over and fucked She does kind of She's wearing this like black dress With kind of a white under thing That hangs out in the bottom Like a flip is showing Yes And this is that in French maid Everyone comes in black And she's like well we look like we just came from a witch convention which by the way, I mean that's a very glamorous witch convention now there's another episode yeah, real witches the real witches of Eastwick so Erica's like it says that we're in our lives black clouds hanging over all of us, yes we just have to know we have to just know going in that they're all cute, they're all successful and they're all very very nice so who's going to be afraid to talk to them next Who's first?

18:20Kyle, are you going to run into a closet? No? Just don't go in Oh no, it's Buzz. She goes Don't go in asking for dick pics And Erica's like, how dare you How dare you And Kyle's like, um I get enough dick pics in my DMs Like, what's a dick pic supposed to make me do? Be like, um, hi, want to meet up? Yeah I think actually yes I think that's the intent

18:48Dick pics are really weird though just like random in people's dms they are kind of weird it's weird to just send one without context it's like one thing if like you're like already sexing and then one comes up but like just to start with that is such a bold move yeah um so rachel's like i'm gonna go out there wearing my sunglasses like did anybody else die when i said that like literally like that's crazy like just you know what turn off all the machines i'm dead there's just no use for me Yeah, Rachel's going to go out in sunglasses And Dorit's like, don't do that, it's rude So they go out, she's like, hello everyone Hello, I've just come in from the continent Hello Oh, I didn't realize How many of these women Are socially awkward Queer, eager, certain Well, I knew Sutton was, but So Sutton goes up to a guy And she's like, okay, ha, Greg Rick, Greg Rick.

19:45Jonathan. Rick. Please change your name. I just don't like Rick. Are we going to get there? Are you going to work with me here? Thank you. And there's this guy named Sebastian who's a motivational speaker who is probably the hottest of the bunch. What'd you say? And a crab. And a crab. And a crab. You think he's the hottest? Ugh. Well. What a cheese ball. Who was, can you tell me who was hotter than him? The douchebag that Rachel was going to be. The lawyer? Yeah. I guess he's kind of hot. I mean, he was an asshole, but he was the hottest. And then I think second was the real estate guy that worked with Mo before.

20:22I don't know. I mean, look, if you're going for like old men country club guys. Yeah. So Rachel's like, oh my God, is this like a receiving line or is it like a flat line? Because like I'm the flat line. I'm like dead. I'm like, I died. I died on the line. It's like a dead. It's like a flat line. The receiving line. Like they brought a corpse to the receiving line. You're shaking hands with the corpse right now. It's literally a dead corpse. Listen, put a mirror under my nose. there's not going to be fog. I'm dead. So, um, she's like, yeah, I, um, I want the biggest flirt at six years old day camp.

20:51I want a ribbon and everything. They asked us to choose a husband to marry on the campus. Guess who I chose the 18 year old camp counselor. Well, I think this is supposed to be a charming story, but instead I left concerned. So I did too. I was like, uh, uh, someone check on the sleep away camp, please. and so erica's acting nervous which is hilarious oh my god i can't do it i need to go to the bar i just don't know how to do this you know there's two boys in me there's erica jane erica jane erica jane can do anything she can she can crawl on the ground she can get blowjobs in an alley she can see okay well she can't sing let's be honest but erica erica's very nervous very nervous Oh, God.

21:36So we're back to the Erica has two personality things. Yeah, exactly. I've never seen this version of Erica before. Where's the woman on stage crawling around in heaters? Probably with whips and chains somewhere. Where is she? Where is that Erica? Oh, there she is.

21:58All the guys like, good night, everyone. Good night. We're going to go home. so um one of the guys is like oh i've thought of an icebreaker activity let's just do some ice break and let's do it the old-fashioned way so dorit how long have you been single she's like oh god five minutes a year who knows it's painful was i single when i was together i don't even know who is picky who is he was there a man in my bed was there ever a man in my bed i could have put them in the oven and come out with croissants if i'd had it on 350 for 12 minutes or so that's what i'll tell you buddy i like that that guy's idea of a good icebreaker is ask how long someone's been single for i'm like is that an icebreaker or is that an ice maker so uh then another guy is like oh well dorit i've never heard a lemon referred to as a carcass when it's done she's like listen it's clean it's easy and it's a good way to describe my marriage it's like oh is that how you'd also describe yourself.

22:56Man, I am not easy, but Kyle is though. Go tell him I told you so. Which is a rude way of saying, okay, our conversation's done. You can flirt with Kyle now. You suggested that I was a slut. And you'd think it's hilarious to diss my carcass out thing. How dare you, sir? Yeah. So she's like, well, I'm out of practice, but that doesn't mean it's good. I mean, I know I'm a good fleet. So Bose gives an announcement and thinks him all, oh, were you going to say something, my little darling? No, I was not gonna say anything. I was just merely going to make noises. Continue speaking. We've got stations for ladies to sit in, questions I've written, and we're gonna go round until everyone's met.

23:35Kyle, sit here. Erica, you go inside. Sutton, just please don't embarrass us as a country. Just as a country. So Erica's like, well, I'd be more comfortable on a stage with more clothes. I mean, with no clothes. Sorry. I'd be comfortable naked on a stage. so bose starts a clock because they each have sessions because speed dating so kyle's talking to some guy she's like um so have you been married and is he famous and the guy's like well uh yes i have oh yeah oh cool that's really exciting yeah um have you ever created a show with john wells before like i have no okay he's did the pit also it's kind of a hit right now so i'm just saying did Alicia Silverstone play your mother once?

24:17No? Okay. Moving on. So when we go to Erica and she's like, I'll see you, lawyer. And he goes, well, I was, but I'm not anymore. Oh, thank God. Excuse me now, what do you do for fun? You know, because I haven't had fun in so long. And he goes, well, it's such a sexy dress. How is that not fun, what you're wearing? Hmm. Well, I'll tell you this much. Still Gucci. Still good. So we go back to Sutton and he's like, oh, so you are. Are you more dominant or submissive? And she's like, well, I've learned to be more dominant in my life. And I'm real proud of myself. You know, last week I got mad at the grass and I had somebody come over and I had him cut it.

25:04I think the card means sexually. Are you more dominant sexually? She's like, oh, well, that's rather much of a heathen question. If you ask me, I've been on a lot of bad dates. I went on that one that was all about the mother. Remember that one? And we see flashbacks of that guy who just wouldn't stop talking about the mother. God, I am so sick of those people that only talk about their mother. Anyway, let's do another scene with Reba. I wonder what Reba thinks of this man. Yeah, I wouldn't describe myself as dominant, more dormant. So he's like, OK, moving on. So then Rachel is chatting with a guy named Garib.

25:41And he's like, yeah, you might know me because I started Comic-Con. But yeah, you know, so if you're into superheroes, I'm just like, no, I can't. Like, please stop it. No, like I just came back to life. Like, please stop. I mean, you're like you're like my kryptonite. Is that a superhero thing? Because like I want to die right now. Like, please, like literally the only superhero I like is Deadpool because that's like literally me. I'm like a dead pool, a pool of like extensions. Just like dead right now. Like that. I'm over. I'm over it. So there's a huge douche. Oh, God. I just want to say when I was like, whoa, this guy started Comic-Con.

26:16That's major. But then I looked it up and this guy started like an alternate Comic-Con called like Ace Comic-Con, which I'm sure is a perfectly fine convention. But for him to be like, I started Comic-Con when there's like a very well established internationally famous Comic-Con. And then there's also your Comic-Con. You're a little bit of a con artist, I have to say. But that being said, also, I love that she doesn't know this. All she knows is this guy says he started Comic-Con. And that's like, if I heard that, I'd be like, whoa, that's major. And she just does not care. She's like, Comic-Con?

26:51So it's like a convention for nerds? Well, it does say he's chairman and CEO of Wizard Entertainment and also a co-founder and CEO of Ace Comic-Con. But is that the regular one? because it says Comic-Con founder on his Instagram. Is Ace Comic-Con the Comic-Con and they just call it Comic-Con? So the San Diego Comic-Con is a comic book convention and multi-genre entertainment event held annually. I don't know why I became Lisa Vanderpilt, but she just had to jump in there. But the founders, it was started in 1970 by Shel Dorff, Richard Elf, Ken Kruger, and Mike Terry, Ron Graff, Barry Alonzo, bob sork scott shaw john pound roger friedman david clark and greg bear and as far as i can tell i don't see garub in there there's no garubs in there garub uh-oh garub you you're a fucking comic-con scanner that is that is exactly what that is okay because we all know san diego comic-con is the one that's the one people so um erica is talking to the biggest douchebag in the room and he's like yeah i don't date a lot of girls in los angeles girls here are pretty bad she just goes oh god i love when guys do that as if they're like some great trophy like you think you are sir really and also like really smart move like you're sitting down with a woman being like god the women in la are just pieces of shit huh like oh geez so we go to dorit doing that he's doing the game that's what he's doing he's negging he's trying to make her feel insecure so that way she's attracted to him more like this is a guy who 100 20 years ago read the game it was like i'm taking all those lessons i'm gonna look up mystery and find out what he's doing was that that guy's name mystery you know what i'm talking about yeah yeah i remember that yeah with the hat gross yeah uh so um the only worst the only guy worse than that is the salt guy the guy who comes in and goes like this with salt bay yeah oh i hate that how did that go viral like i don't understand I don't know why that went viral.

28:54I just hate him. Just insulting from his - Yeah, I hate him. Okay, so my favorite conversation is Dorit with this next guy. He goes, so where do you live? This side of town? She goes, we're on the with side, right? And he's like, no, this is more like the east side. Well, I don't know what side I live on. I live in a place called the Vili. Have you heard of it? And he's like, oh, okay. Well, do you know where it is? And he's like, that way? Well, could you find out? Because I want to make sure I get back there and join. I don't know where I am. I just get into a car and I show up. I just know where it was at.

29:36Somewhere. You live on the extreme west side of the valley, Dorit. That's where you live, right? Isn't she in like, isn't that Encino? It's like on the west side of the valley. She lives in Encino, which is, well, the west side of the valley will be like Woodland Hills, but it's still more western valley. She's on the other side of the 405. She's like, I don't know where I am. East side, west side. West side to the east side. No diggity. Where am I now? I don't know where I am. I just love she just gets in cars and arrives in places and has no spatial awareness. She's like, she could be in Kentucky for all she knows.

30:11So Rachel is talking to the douchebag guy. And she's like, oh my God. It's like musically, like who's amazing? He goes, I don't know, like the Rolling Stones. No, wait. But like, what about like Chris Martin though? he goes cold play sucks white women love cold play like okay and like please get this guy's like saying white women love cold play cold play sucks you just said the rolling stones not that the rolling stones suck but like i'm pretty sure that's also white women too this guy has so many issues with women my god like he wasn't he the one who was just like yeah Yeah, women in LA suck.

30:48And he's like, oh, white women love Coldplay. What's this guy? He's probably a fucking problem. He's probably still listening to his like Outkast CD from 2003, trying to get cred from that. Being like, yeah, man, speaker box. That's an album. It's like, OK, congratulations. He's like, hey, yeah, that's music. So Rachel's like, yeah. When I was younger, like I was always in love with the wrong guy. And I realize now that like, I'm still her. Yeah, I'm still her. I shouldn't be able to choose. Don't let me choose a man. And we just cut back to her. She's like giggling and smacking his leg. Like he's just so hilarious.

31:26Like, yep, you picked the worst one. Yep. The first time in 20 years of Bravo that we've seen Rachel Zoe get animated and giggle. She's like, ha ha ha ha. You're crazy saying that about Coldplay. I mean, by the way, it is hilarious that she, I never would have thought Rachel Zoe of all people would be like, I really like Coldplay. Like that was not what I expected. I thought she was going to say some DJ, like, you know, like DJ Frankfurter, like so good. Like he's like playing at a party tomorrow night. Like I'm actually going to go. He's actually like a friend of mine, but he's like actually kind of hot.

31:58Like we kind of have a thing going on, but like whatever. I don't know. I die. Coldplay. Yeah. I feel like she wants like, also none of these guys are for Rachel Zoe. So I think she wants a guy who has longer hair, like who's like hipster. It's kind of edgy, you know. Douchebag. Yeah. So now we go to Kyle. She's talking to some real estate agent named Chase. And she goes, oh, my God, my husband would die. We're separated. And he goes, yeah, I know your husband. We had a deal. She goes, oh, yeah, I'm sure you did. I can't get away from Mo, especially when I bring him up. Yeah. Like it's like everywhere.

32:37Like every time I'm talking to someone and I'm like, oh my God, I used to be married to Mauricio. They're like, I know Mauricio. I'm like, oh my God, I cannot get away from him. Like, why do people keep talking about him? Yes, but he does make good deals. So then Dorit's talking to another, she's talking to the self-help guy, I guess. That's what he is, right? A self-help speaker or something? God, we're overrun with them right now on Bravo. Enough. So he's like, yeah, I'm married a stranger in Vegas for a day. That was on my bucket list. And Toreach goes, I was just going to say, that's a bucket list thing.

33:08And you did it. You got married and you did it. He's like, well, it's legal in your country. Well, when I turn the charm on, I'm not just a giggle type. I'm more in the eyes, the hair flip, the three different accents I do at once. Whenever in doubt, just say, it's a bucket list thing. game all right the guys all love to reach but they also all love and all the girls love sebastian and um they're all saying oh yeah they uh miss guys that there's some guys like yeah i think that because like yeah i think they're good together because they both have accents everyone says i'm loquacious and i say what's that is that a location that we're in does that mean if you're loquacious does that mean you don't know the location that you're actually been driven to i've just learned i live on the west side and sebastian's like wow loquacious what a word big one that was a big erica erica's talking to galeb and she's like so you're a nerd so i spotted you a mile away tell me more he's like Yeah, I grew up really into Go ahead, you got five seconds You know, if you grew a pot belly And were about 20 years older I'd actually find you sexy So he says, yeah Well, I grew up really into comic books and sports cards Yeah, I love a sports car I just want to get it away and drive it on He's like, no cards Oh, sports cards I didn't know cards was a sport But whatever um so she's like yeah i've got no game now she's talking to a douche the douchebag and she's oh so you're in law huh so what are you a slimy weasel and he's like uh yeah like he looks so offended but she's the first person to shut this fucker up so i was actually really proud of erica because she's the first one that got that guy like so then um rick is talking to son he goes i love your accent i mean mine comes back back when i'm home i've been fortunate to be in baseball represent a bunch of baseball players i'm basically famous i'm famous by proxy what doesn't wait sudden owns a baseball team doesn't she i think so yeah maybe that's why they were talking about it yeah she did i think she did and so he's like she's like well i'm interested i could like rick and so now boz kicks all the men out because time's up and said it's like nice meeting y 'all Bye, bye, Rick.

35:48And then Rick on his way out is like, Erica, cut your heart. Here's my card. Give me a call sometime. Please. Please.

35:58And basically does not give the number to or sudden. So Rachel is like, I love bows. And there's like nothing I won't do for her. But I knew there was like 0 % chance I was meeting a guy at speed dating. Like, does anyone here even know how to play guitar? I don't even think so. Dead dating. I'm in. speed dating no so um the girls gather outside and rachel's like wow jory you were like so amazing at flirting like that was fantastic use like 30 different accents like i've never seen anybody pull out like um their app for like rosetta stone before but like that was amazing good job well they do say i'm loquacious so i'm very good in these locations and situations What are words really Tonight was a boost of confidence I feel like fun flirty Dorit was back And it felt good It took fun flirty Dorit a long time to get back to me But that's because she had no idea if she was on the west side or the east side But now once the party and the soul were connected It's been all great So DeBose is asking their favorite guy And they all agree it was the Aussie self-help guru and so it's like well i kind of liked rick and erica's like oh really well did rick give you his card because rick gave me his card oh she's like well i'm just saying your attorney husband didn't work out too well so maybe you should reconsider that slut

37:32in the corner laughing but also having her soul exit her body temporarily to go get coffee it's back that's all got coffee all right ladies gather round gather round i'm about to do something very important in the spirit of kindness and friendship and goodwill to those less fortunate than me sutton please take the card of the hot man that didn't like you oh gosh i just want to prove that i'm a good friend like wow nothing showing good friend like pointing out in front of everybody that the only person Sutton liked liked you and not her. Enjoy these sloppy seconds that I never had in the first place.

38:13Here, take my HelloFresh box. Commercials. Here comes one right now. So, but they do view this as like a lovely gesture. They're like, oh, that was nice. And so Dorit's like, Coil, are you actively looking for someone? And is that person a boy or a girl? can we get to the bottom of it she's like um of course not like whatever she's like but what do you mean i mean you're not looking right she's like but i'm not three years in it's like oh well um i just like i just want to be married again and everyone's like me and erica's like hey come over here for five minutes come on let's have a let's have a private talk all right come on so they go off and then set and just immediately follows them she's like Yes.

39:03My ass. I'm going to sit down. I'm going to listen to everything. You know, I'll tell you what you're not going to do. Have private. OK, I'm your team. Hey, delete. I just want to check in on you. OK, sudden you just sit right there. OK, so did your kids go to Florida or whatever? Because this is a really uninteresting storyline that I feel compelled to ask about because the producer said, hey, go ask to read a question in the other room. So that we can have a scene outside with bows. They did go. They did go. And finally, they FaceTime me from Florida. And finally, I had my baby back. I saw Chico.

39:37I saw Chico on the FaceTime.

39:44Did they go to me? I have a question. Did they go to Disney World or Disneyland? Because Disneyland on the West Coast and Disney World's on the East Coast. No. Who's Loquacious Mouth? Hi. So you have to take care of yourself. You know, because when I look at you, I see you are a lady who does not get pampered, does not have free time, can't just putter around her kitchen drinking Coca-Cola and putting rings on her fingers. You need to take care of yourself for once. America's like, here's the deal. When you're going through a divorce, you got to be in a good state of mind because anything and everything will be used against you.

40:21You've got starved elephants, people on fire, plane crash victims. Hell, you got to be counted against you. stolen earrings that are with four million dollars that you're bragging about because maybe they were funded by the the plot of some other people don't use anything they can get against you but men men can get away with everything uh your husband's gonna die in jail so i think she's largely right but yes yeah oh yeah she is right but she's like the person deliver it no of course she's right but it's just erica it's like oh my gosh uh so sentence And I was like, okay, well, here's the thing.

41:00You will survive this. But you know what? It sucks. And you suck. And I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry that a sucky person is going through a sucky time. I'm so sorry to read. And she's like, ooh, to see a different sort of sootin'. She's telling it from a heart. A cold, cold, crispy, crunchy, shriveled up little heart. And it feels John Ewing. It feels John Ewing. So I appreciate it. It takes me back to 1995 and seeing a commercial that announced the softer side of Sears. And I thought, wow, gee, there's another side of Sears. I never realized. Gee. Well, I see myself in this broken wing she's walking around with, and it's the hardest thing to watch.

41:44Oh, did someone summon me? There's a broken bird in Hollywood. I'd love to help you, but Kyle's still here. Call me when you get rid of the skank. He just poofs out. So, Boze, Rachel, and Kyle are talking in the other section. And Boze is like, well, I want to be a good friend to anybody, everybody. Kyle, Kyle, there's somebody. I'm trying to peel back the onion of Kyle. Kyle, let me peel that. Oh, Kyle, stinky, stinky onions, stinky onions. So, Kyle, tell me, did it spark? And if not, tell me, girl, what do you want? What do you want? What do you want? Just tell me. Do you want a manly? Do you want a big, long hair, short hair, vagina, penis?

42:23go ahead tell me tell me and just know that if you bring me to tears it's only because you're an onion and it has nothing to do with my emotional state it's just a chemical reaction to being near you carl she's like well um thanks a lot um i mean i'm not the only single one here so i don't know why everyone's asking me questions all the time but you okay well you just don't want to hook up to hook up right you don't want to just be like right mark is that what you're saying you don't want to you just don't want to well what do you want kyle what do you want and not like that one You're not kind of the girl, are you?

42:54You're like, you would like die. I would die if I did that. Unless it was like Chris Martin. I would totally hook up with Chris Martin. Like I die. I die. I literally die for Chris Martin. So Kyle asks, well, how long have you been in love? And she's like, hmm, three times. And Rachel's like, four. Oh, God, I'm so embarrassed to admit that. But four, four. One was with an ice cream truck guy when I was like, I don't know, 13. And he was probably 19. So it was inappropriate, but it counts. And Kyle's like, well, I've been in love three times too. it's like okay well nice try to change the conversation but um we're still gonna ask you questions does that mean you've been in love three times or six times because three times two are you doing math i can't tell what's going on here she's like um i don't know what answer is the better answer to get you guys to stop asking me this question we'll say it's three we'll go with three yeah three so she goes have you found love and she goes that's like a good feeling to find love like i actually fell in love just like last week but it was like a versace jacket i just like i love us so both like i was like yeah yeah yeah i did i did find love i did and she goes no but now you don't have it anymore kyle and she's like but now i just i'm i'm i'm on my own again oh kyle you're still dating that girl i don't believe it oh by the way i also have to apologize to you and to the whole audience because i've been getting comments all week that are like ronnie duh morgan has been out of the closet she's out of the closet i went on this whole thing last week i took up And I was like, oh, my God.

44:18And Ben was like, no, I think she's out of the closet. And I was like, nope, she's absolutely not. The reason I said that was because when this was going on last year, I was Googling it and reading Reddit threads about it. And everything I found says that Morgan will not talk about it. She says no, which to me means in the closet. But people are telling me that she's been out of the closet. She just is private about her life, I guess. So my pity is kind of waning here. Because if you're out of the closet, then I don't want to hear it from you, Kyle. I'll talk about it. Miss open and honest. Get to yapping.

44:50Yeah. Get to yapping on your face. I don't know. Right. Sometimes you just have to say, get to yapping period and not add a preposition because then we have the period. Okay. Yeah.

45:09I'm a preposition queen. Okay. When I'm supposed to have my period, I go for the preposition and then I get myself into trouble time and time again i cannot help it i cannot help it well kyle is saying oh boz is acting like she's never heard anything or seen anything and she's like asking all these questions and i'm like okay okay boz like you don't you don't ever like read people magazine okay like you don't you don't know what's going on with kyle like i'm pretty famous so yeah like hello i kind of like invented like like the show so like huh it's like so was it your choice or was it not your choice um it's complicated sorry i just i know i could just like answer your questions normally but i just want to keep having you ask me questions because it feels really good to be like center of attention once so boz is like okay well it's really hard for kyle to be vulnerable but i'm really glad that she's at least sharing a little bit because i want to be there for her and support any way i can this new um this new like uh characterization of Kyle as this heavily guarded person that's hard to get to know.

46:12This is, that's not, that's not Kyle. Like Kyle's always yammering about every single thing in her life that makes her feel sad. And she like trembles her lip, but she's doing it now. Now she's like, I just need to be private right now. And it's just, it's funny because as they say, how, how difficult it is for Kyle to be vulnerable when Kyle is the queen of being open and honest, like that's her whole thing is be open and honest, open and honest. And yet, for some reason, now, all of a sudden, she's the one that they have to do baby steps with to be vulnerable. It's like, I can't. I can't deal with this anymore.

46:44But it's so funny because Kyle gives her nothing. She's just like, it's dot, dot, dot, complicated. And Boz is like, wow, look at Kyle opening up. That's all I needed. That's all I needed. Because I'm a girl's girl, Kyle. I want to be in everyone's business. And she's like, okay, well, why don't you just ask what you want to ask, Boz? Okay? I could go Brad or I could go Angelina. That's what you want to say, right? Just say it. it's like a shockingly serious moment because the previews had us believe it was like this hilarious moment but it comes off as kind of like her being like oh just say it you want to out me in front of america just do it do it do it to the community bows not just to me look every homosexual teenager in the face that's not ready to talk about it and you do this to them so then kyle's like my biggest worry after separation was being alone but finding someone you have a lot in common with is like really really exciting you know like for instance um like we're both like we're both child actresses and we both are competitive with our sisters um and we both know jamie lee curtis and we both um started tv shows alicia silverstone like this person like we're like very very similar we found like a lot in common what i'm saying is i masturbate i would love that as an answer

48:05so kyle's like well i've always been attracted to men you know it's all dark and handsome and but does that apply to women too it's like not that i'm allowed to ask and kyle's like well i'm just like worried you know like what if i go out with someone and then mo's upset by it i'm like what if the girls are you left your husband for a woman stop this crying i can't grow a pair already grow your heels so rachel's like um well you don't have to know kyle you know you've been like with mo forever and it's okay to be you and it's okay to connect with you and connect who you're with you know like look it's like i told mo when i just told him and asked saw him in aspen it's totally fine for you to dance around and sing tiffany songs at karaoke to try and get 20 year old puse say it's just what you're what what what did you know sorry sorry that's neither here What were you saying, Kyle?

48:54This is also my favorite part is somewhere in the middle of this. I think we talked about it at length during the trailer trash. But at length, I think when Kyle says that she could go Brad or Angelina, they cut to Rachel and she has this moment where there's like a piece of string that's like pulling her head back. She's like, what? She's like yanked awake. Like she was like a marionette that was like sagging down to the floor. And someone's like, oh shit, we're on. Like get the thing ready. And the string's like, what? I'm reanimated. I'm alive. I was dead, but I'm alive. I'm sorry, but somebody actually mentioned actual friends of mine.

49:27It just woke me up for a second. And a realization came to me. You're not getting either one of them. So, broaden your horizons. You know what I mean? Yeah, they're like famous. So, Bo's is, so Kyle's saying, you know, I've gone through a lot in the last three years. I've changed my perspective. I'm sad, but I'm also grateful. Like, you can be a wife and a mother and get like lost with who you are. and bo says well i'm going back into my contact list and looking for parades bens just no no no no i'm like a fate kind of person i just kind of want to like meet someone where rich will meet someone like in a famous circle so yeah how are you a fate person you met you met your girlfriend by dming her okay what the hell so now we go to uh out of this party this was like half the episode So now we go to another white house.

50:18I thought it was so funny because in one of the lines here, Sutton's like, oh my God, I love a white house. Well, that's good because every single house on here is a white house. White box house. So we go to Kyle's house. It says Kyle's house. And then it's like, wait a second. It's Amanda's house because Amanda lives in Kyle's old house. And we see like a glimpse into Amanda's world. And we see everything around. and there's like a piece of wall art that's like a black amex card it's like she knows money and she has all these kids in there and her fiance eddie is they're all in the kitchen i think we only get to we only find out like some of their names it was like shoshana and canaan or canaan and then i think maybe there's like one other like one other girl we get to find out whose name it is but then shoshana and canaan are like uh painting something on the table she's like hey cane that's my side hey guys what if we both paint on both sides and like we work together collaboratively i'm like your children are gonna be a monster or could be monsters okay the answer is get the off that get your brush off the off of her side paint your side canaan

51:29the producer is like so how does growing up in oklahoma differ from where you're the way your children are growing up and she's like um how do i say this um yeah i came from very humble beginnings and my kids are rich as fuck so yeah um we didn't have a lot on friday night so we would just hang out at walmart i mean i would walk around walmart for fun that actually sounds pretty good to me i mean i had plenty of a of a walk around a store night you know yeah that That sounds great. Where'd you guys walk around? We had the mall. We had the mall. We'd go to the movies, go to the diner. I'm trying to think.

52:08Like, we'd walk around the mall. But that wouldn't be really, at night, it wouldn't be walking around the mall. At night, it was like going to a friend's house a lot and watching, like, a video. I mean, I was, like, in two groups. I was in, because I joined my high school in sophomore year. So, I skipped all the middle school bullshit that everyone went through. So, I didn't have to be locked into a group. so I was like you know the the the band who always wanted to be popular like ingratiated his way into the popular kids group but I actually didn't hang out with him that much because I just didn't but after every once in a while I did hang out with him and I got to go to like a party where there was like drinking and that was like so cool but like the people that I usually hung out with who were like more like my real friends we just like go to each other's houses and watch movies like impromptu drink like soda yeah you know who doesn't love a judy davis movie like judy davis and chopin hello wasn't that what that movie was she's like yeah i was walking around wall oh wait what movie chopin isn't it like impromptu that movie impromptu judy davis you know i think that she's in that the first one i saw of hers was husbands and wives a long time ago.

53:18I'm sorry. Judy Davis was George Sand and Hugh Grant was Chopin. And Mandy Patinkin is Alfred de Mousset in case anyone cares. And Bernadette Peters is Marie. I gotta rewatch this movie. This is a gay phantasmagoria. Bernadette Peters? What? So she's like, well, my God, my kids are never gonna grasp that the reason I walk them around like Beverly Hills in the stroller, like get them ice cream or lunch or whatever is because like, I want them to see like what I didn't have. I'm like, or maybe because it's their neighborhood. Like what else are you going to do? Like I'm up in a closet. You walked them around Beverly Hills and buy them ice cream.

53:54Cause that's where you fucking live. Amanda. She's like, I want them to like, see it, you know, like I dreamed this for them and we walked the streets that like, I watched the streets on clueless. That was a strange, I didn't know how I felt about that. On the one hand, I was like, I know what she's talking about because a lot of times when I'm just driving around LA and like, Like if I'm like driving down Rodeo Drive, it's like, oh, I got to get to Rodeo Drive. I'm like, it's so weird that this is just like a street I'm driving down when it's like you grow up as a kid watching Clueless. And it's like, whoa, Rodeo Drive.

54:26And now it's just like a road. Right. So, like, I get that on the one hand. But on the other hand, it feels weird because it feels like she just like moved out here to live, take over shares lifestyle. She did. I'm going to be here. She did. That's what she's saying. And that's what, you know, that's what kind of hit me watching this. And we're singing on two shows right now because Vanderpump Rules has the manifester Venus. He's like, oh, my God, I like totally manifested everything in my life. And on one hand, you're like, well, you're a waiter, though. But on the other hand, you're on a TV show and you're a star now.

54:56And that's kind of the thing with her. So maybe they're manifesting works. You know, you've got two people who are like kind of making it. And they're just kind of dodo birds, both of them. So, well, the key is. We should pay for those. OK, I want Amanda to stand outside the gas station under Circus liquor and see see like if she's gonna do the clueless thing see it all the way through well that's you know and that's that also made me think because i was like well maybe my manifesting is broken because whenever i pass that clown liquor store and i see that which i pass all the time i'm like oh my god i manifested the valley i manifested the valley did it i just want you to know by the way to anyone who is driving to circus liquor just to see it from um clueless that's at the corner of burbank and vineland um avenues there is a little donut shop there called perfect donuts and they do an excellent bodega style breakfast sandwich there i'm just gonna let you know that right now and their donuts are actually quite excellent and it's just this little under the radar donut shop and um so is their liquor well yeah so eddie goes um so she's talking about like how eddie's going to disney monday and we worked we met five years ago and He works in construction.

56:10And you guys, before daddy proposed, I kept having this dream that he got me a ring with a smart and final logo on it. Could you imagine? Which is funny because, you know, the proposal, this marriage probably isn't smart and it probably won't be final. Yeah. So she's like, yeah, once we were living together, he asked me what I wanted, like my purdys. So that's just like my purdys. Yeah, she does say purdys. And I was about to turn 36 And I was like, there's more of an expiration date on my ovaries than a ring. So like, let's have kids first. So we did it. And we just started making babies. And you guys, it took me, it took a long time for us to get engaged, but daddy crushed it.

56:51Look at my ring. Now look, manifesting stuff for you is great. But like, she just posted a picture of her baby in a crib or something like covered in hundred dollar bills that she just dropped. Don't raise assholes. You know what I mean? It's too late. Like, it's okay if you grew up poor and you're like, I want money. And then you went out and got money. I mean, that's good. There's like a Cinderella story there, but kids who are already rich, just teaching them to be obsessed with money and only money you're raising four assholes. And I'm telling you that right now, at least three of those kids are going to be sociopath assholes.

57:24Prove me wrong in 20 years. Well, it's good to earn that money because you'll need it for rehab probably. So then Amanda is like, well, she's like, Hey kids, daddy got me the exact ring that's been on my vision board. literally because it's on your vision board he can see it he saw it you probably emailed him your vision board every goddamn day till he bought you that thing as a financial empowerment teacher and coach i'm the biggest i'm the embodiment of everything i teach i'm my biggest testimonial guys look at everything i did i have an american express painting on my wall so like yeah someone who was like in one of my courses was like of course amanda wouldn't come through manifesting a man a man to come through manifesting a whole ass family oh my god i love that person whoever she was he said that thing that i told her to say so then we go to rachel's and uh sudden comes over and she's like oh my god i love your house i have a penchant for white houses and people uh so thanks for having me over oh so you drink white wine i love what i love what i love what i love what White House is white wine.

58:29That's good. I brought you some white wine. Yeah. Pencil of the year. White. Right. Oh my God. I love it. Well, here we are. Isn't this a fun life? Oh my God. This is great. I die. I die for blue. I say chemistry. Gotta feel it. Okay. So Rachel's like, yeah, I know Sutton. Cause like we know other people like I'll see her around at like parties and stuff, you know, cause like she knows Kathy. I know Kathy, like, especially around the holidays. Like it's work. That's when you have to invite Sutton. so like I'll see her but like I don't really know her so anyway Sutton have a seat Rachel's like yeah like she's always someone who invites me like very is like very friendly and like outgoing invites me to all these things I just like never was like very close with her which is her way of saying she's always inviting me to shit and I never go to it because she knows me but now I'm gonna get to know her because we're on a tv show or she tries really hard but I've never like had I've never been cornered long enough to have to have a conversation with her but here we are I I don't associate myself with reality folk, but now I've lowered myself back into this world.

59:29So can we talk about Boz's house? Like, I can't believe we did a speed dating thing. Did she really think we're going to, like, date those normies? Like, it's crazy. Does any of them even play at Coachella? I don't think so. I didn't even know, like, there was a name for this. Like, did you know, like, what? Speed dating? There's, like, a name for speed dating? Like, really? Seriously? Like, I die. Like, did you think any of those guys were cute? Like, how ugly were they? They were so disgusting. They were so, like, I was like, how desperate are these women who would actually want to date these people?

59:53So I was like, I thought they were all cute. And I was hoping they'd all give me their numbers, but that's okay. Well, I'll tell you this. I would have thought it would be real cute if my phone rang, but they didn't. So they were all fun. Okay. That's where I'm going to go with it. Well, I feel like I'm like so fresh out of marriage that I'm like enjoying not being married. Like every guy that I met there, I just said, thank you so much for not being Raj. And you know, that was good enough for me. So like, would you get married again? And she's like, well, get this. I found out that over a year ago, my husband filed for an annulment in the Catholic Church.

1:00:28Oh, my God. How would you know? Like, do you go to Catholic Church? No. You get letters from them. Well, I did. Why would you talk to the Catholic Church? They're gross. They're like not even celebrities. Like maybe the Pope is. Like everyone else. Not really. They love poverty. Well, guess what? Within our church, our marriage never existed. Oh, yeah. Sort of like you and my social calendar. Yes. But when I got the letter from the Catholic Church, it just came to the residence of Strack Brown. Oh, my God. I don't get it. Why do they add a color? Is that like your color palette? Strack Brown? No.

1:01:02My name. My maiden name is Brown. Oh, how un-chic. Gross. Discussing. And I just kept looking at it. Strack Brown. You know what? Maybe I'll change my name back to Brown. Oh, God. Don't do that. No. Why would you do that? That's not the color of the year. Pantone's color of the year is white. like white houses, not brown houses. Well, yeah, I dropped my married name the day I left. I mean, I never really took it. Let's be honest, but still like I would have. And she's like, well, the truth is I'm not a strack. Yes, you are. You have those babies and you can keep that name as long as you want. Your children named that.

1:01:36And if you want to keep that name, that's your name. Keep it. It's cuter than Brown. Sorry. It is. You need to, you need to like unstrike yourself. Like you need to distract. Like, like, guess what? You, you, I hope you get pulled over for texting. And the police officer says, you are a distracted driver because, like, you need to unstract, distract. Be less tracked. Be extract. X-stract. Extract. Yeah. Okay, Rachel, I'm going to stop you right now because I think you're having a little bit of a brain conniption. But I get what you're saying. And I will take the strike off. I think it's just the last little thread, though.

1:02:12It's the last little thread that holds me together to that family. You know what I mean? and she says I always felt like I could get Christian back whenever I wanted to you know and sometimes there's a time we talk and we get along and I think God did I just win him back? Is he going to take me back? Is he going to take me back? Sometimes when he calls up and he says Sutton why am I paying for these things? You have to stop coming in the middle of the night and ringing the doorbell in my house and running away. I think God he does still love me but now I'm realizing and you don't. So she's like, I just think about my grandchildren.

1:02:48I mean, grandma and grandpa strike over there at the good ones with all the houses. And I'm just grandmammy Brown for 14 dogs, 18 cats, a mother that won't die. You know how it is. Ew. You have 14 dogs and 18 cats. That's actually kind of gross. I'm going to leave. It's your house. I know. I'm never coming back here again. It's your house now. I'm literally burning this house down. Just get out. I have a Brown in my house with cats. Like, I can't. When Caius comes back from camp, can you just give him that forwarding address? Just, like, send him there? She's so funny, though. She goes, I mean, like, Sutton Brown, that's not bad.

1:03:22What's your middle name? Thurman? Okay, well, yeah, that's harder. Harder. All right, well, you're basically fucked, and I was right to never go to any of your parties. But thanks for coming by. You want to take the Poussese? I feel bad for you. Do you mind if I just start calling you not Uma? Thanks so much. so now we have Alexia Alexia and Kyle go to the florist so I have to issue a massive apology really only to my friend Neil because he turned 50 yesterday and for his 50th birthday happy birthday and for his 50th birthday I got him the gift of outrage at me because I was saying such mean things about Geary's and he was like Ben I loved that scene at Geary's it was everything I wanted he's like you're not you're clearly not from the south we're like registries and family registries and everything is like everything and i was like i definitely am not so i apologize to neil because i would never want him to be upset on his 50th birthday but i stand by everything i said i do not think that alexia is a gary's kind of girl but of course ever since then i've seen gary's everywhere i saw some tv show someone brought something in the bag that said gary's it's like gary's is haunting me now you're you're never going to get away from gary's i'm never going to get away so now alexia and kyle go to this florist um it's called orchid Republic, which I don't know why I thought that was so funny.

1:04:39Like, welcome to Orchid Republic. And there's this lady, Margarita, who is the floral designer. And she's like, so what sort of color scheme and flowers are you thinking about? And she's like, um, I don't really have a scheme. I just, I do want like something colorful and bohemian. Oh, you know, just like Geary's, by the way, I just want to point out, God, I love all that bohemian stuff they have at Geary's. The perfect match for Alexia. My$10 ,000 a plate china. You know, just something bohemian. Yeah, and I want, like, wild, unique-looking flowers. Like, you know, like, I'm into artichokes. You know, those ladies are like, you're in Beverly Hills right now, and you want artichokes?

1:05:20Go back to Van Nuys. That shit was funny, though. I think that sounds pretty. Just put artichokes on the table. It is pretty. Artichokes are very cute. I actually like Alexia's vision for this. And Kyle's like, Alexia's ideas get me a little stressed sometimes, because, like, my wedding was, like, more traditional, kind of like black tie. I had a country club, and I had 12 bridesmaids, and very traditional flowers, and Faye Resnick was there, and we had pink and white roses, and Alexia's my earth child. She's a free spirit, and she's very eclectic. I'm like, it all makes sense. Geary's, it totally makes sense why you bring her there.

1:05:52It totally matches Alexia's aesthetic. I'm so glad you did that, Kyle. So they look at stuff, and Kyle's like, this is giving artichoke. And they just talk about her style and stuff, and her bridesmaids and she's like so you're not gonna have bridesmaids she goes no i am having bridesmaids mother she goes but you said you weren't having bridesmaids she goes but i am okay so they're just not going to be in matching dresses no they're they are going to be in matching dresses but you said you didn't want them in the same color but they're still matching though mother she's like oh my god this is so hard and i just want to point out that after alexia says all the stuff about like how she just wants something like different like bohemian and cause I was like, I just want my daughter to pick out pink and white flowers.

1:06:33She picks out pink and white flowers. After all this bohemian stuff, she chooses a very generic, perfectly pretty wedding palette. I think that she picked a couple of the frilly different ones, and then Kyle added in the pink and the white ones as well. The pink and the white one didn't look right with what the daughter had picked. They looked out of place. what I can't tell is is Alexia just trying on her like bohemian persona because she thinks it's cool but she's ultimately a Geary's girl down inside or is she a bohemian type and Kyle is forcing a Geary's persona on her I cannot figure that one out and it keeps me up well I think it's not bohemian I think it's like boho chic because this girl's not like gonna have some wedding you know she's not gonna be like let's get married in the you know the farm or whatever so So then, you know, Kyle, let's find a way for Kyle to make this about her.

1:07:29Yeah, seriously. You know, yeah. Here comes Kyle's pity party about the stupid ass scene. Oh my God. This drove me nuts. It's just strange to think that my daughter, I mean, our daughter is getting married and like we're not together. And when I look at Alexia and Jake getting married, I just hope that they have a long, happy marriage and that they can always trust each other and that neither one ever hurts each other. And I hope that Jake always looks at Alexia the way he looks at it. Kyle, you are this very sweet. and of course you will hurt her and of course this marriage is going to fail. So you don't even have to stress about it.

1:08:00Just know it will happen and then you can release it and enjoy yourself. Just enjoy it while it lasts, that's what I say. So Bo's goes to a restaurant with Amanda. So they're going to have lunch and Amanda's like, can I have an iced tea? She asks it. She's like, can I have an iced tea? I'm like, what is this voice that she's doing? Every time she's talked to the waiter, she's like, I'm like ma 'am and so Bose is like even when she ordered calamari she's like oh my god is this gluten free well I haven't had gluten free for a long time I have to do the gluten free I was like why are you

1:08:42like what is this weird high pitched voice you do with the waitstaff

1:08:50that's funny so uh bose is like i met amanda at jennifer tilly's party and we see that they bonded because they both uh wore balmain which you know beverly hills like your best friends so she's like so she seems interesting she likes balmain and she's a businesswoman and she's getting married so i want to get to know her more tell me everything girl i feel like you're really like breezing over like how deep that connection was that party so let's reenact it whose jacket is that by the way this is It's Balmain. This is Balmain. Oh, my God. Really? Yeah. That was it. It was like, this is Balmain.

1:09:27This is Balmain. We're best friends now.

1:09:34So then we see Amanda saying that she has a master's in counseling. So she's telling her about herself. So she's like, yeah, you know, like I wasn't even in finance at all. Like I have a master's in counseling. And so I decided, like, what can I do? So I made a personal development brand. And I just was putting out really good content every day. I would wear different clothes and talk about money. And so I started as a therapist and a life coach and then a business coach. And my audience just grew and I wanted to help more people. So I started making online courses that help people create professional, personal lives of their dreams.

1:10:09So then I started a digital course called Become a Life Coach. Oh! And then I found that I had a gift around money. But I'm not like a financial planner. I'm more like it's more around like the energetic part of money the mindset part the psychology around it when she said the the energetic part of money I was just I was like this lady she is she is clearly a charlatan but like I don't know she's like a charlatan I'm really enjoying she's such a charlatan and I know that she's gonna annoy so many people that I she's not the hero I want, but maybe she's the hero I deserve. Yeah. I'm not sure. The jury is still out for me, but I am enjoying so far.

1:10:52So Amanda's like, well, yeah, I mean, that's what I became known for, and I have a best-selling book called Rich as Fuck. Yeah. She goes, oh, yes. Yeah, so I became known as the Money Queen. It's like, you became known that because you called yourself that in your book. What are we acting like? It's like writing your own reviews on a movie poster. you know yeah and amanda says yeah i create courses on all kinds of things so dorit walks in because oh my god so i've been thinking about you a lot i just like literally manifested you at this lunch like that's crazy that you're here i've just been like sending you love and good vibes and like every day just like praying that you're getting some sleep i just hope i just worry you know like with that crazy nine to five job of yours that you're just not getting enough sleep are you doing okay i also love how every time dorit enters how she compliments bows because it's always so over the top.

1:11:39She's like, ah, translucent, transcendent, loquacious. Never seen anything like it. Are we on the north side of Los Angeles now? So yeah, Amanda says like, oh, Dorita, I've been praying for you and I hope you get sleep. And Dorita's like, that is so sweet. My first impression of Amanda to be unison. I didn't know what to make of that. But now hearing She was thinking of me all weekend and prayed for me. It's incredibly kind and sweet and curing. Oh, my God. The calamari is gluten-free. That never happens. I literally manifested the gluten to be gone from the calamari today, and at long last it happened.

1:12:22Wow. Wow. Couldn't you manifest yourself a system that could handle gluten? Yes. How about that? just concentrate on the important things in life you wouldn't need to be rich if you could have gluten just saying that right now well i'd like to talk about pk now what do i say my ex-husband my my husband my my pringle pringle monster what do i call him estranged yes well he's very much an alpha male but you you know that by the way he trails around mauricio every day and he's a businessman and he built a very big business in the uk and when the girl in the world tilted on its axis of 2008 he lost his business so she talks about how they didn't have a prenup and um but what i guess when but when they met like he was totally broke so we had nothing to even to like worry about right so there was nothing to protect so she says that she's like oh pk They handled all the finances.

1:13:27I didn't have to do anything. And we had a business manager. So there was never a handoff. There was never an agreement. I just would find out he's not going to pay this anymore. And they're like, oh, no. You know, they're just looking at each other. Oh, this lady is so screwed. Yeah, exactly. So Amanda's like, so you're living in the family home and he's trying to not pay the mortgage, like, for example. So he's like randomly has decided that like you're on your own is like that. What's happening? Well, he's paying the mortgage. I mean, is he making X new? No, he's not. And so she says that for the 14 last 14 years, PK has been paying most of the family's outgoings.

1:14:10But when they separated, he said the finances would stay the same. So she never really did anything about it. But then a month later, she got an email saying he decided he's no longer going to do that. And she's like, why this change all of a sudden? Dorit, have you never heard of men? This man dumped his family to be with you. What in the world made you think that this would be okay? Everybody was telling you last year, protect yourself, protect yourself, protect yourself, protect yourself. Why would you? I mean, come on. And I know this happens a lot. So I'm not saying like, oh, my God, you stupid women.

1:14:41It's nothing like that. It's Dorit specifically. You knew that you're married to a fucking con man and a loser. And how are you doing this? who you think he's just going to pay for you whatever you want forever. Come on, Dorit. Come on. Well, for you to have a fair position in mediation, you have to know what you're working with. Like, do you know about your retirement accounts? Anything? Well, we don't even have one as far as I'm concerned. Somebody's not invested? Nothing? I don't know. I've yet to discover everything, and I can tell you where I am. It's a place called the unknown. Luquacious.

1:15:17Yes. So Bo says that when her husband died, she had to raise Lael on her own. And you have to figure out where all the money is. And it's very tricky. And Amanda's shocked. Like, how do you turn a blind eye to all this stuff? I'm like, have you met Dorit? Actually, you haven't. You've just met her right now. Well, you'll find out how Dorit can turn a blind eye very easily. Very, very easily. Yeah. So Amanda's like, wow. Yeah. You can't do this as a woman. And Dorit says, oh, Piquet, he's a very complex person. And by that, I mean a complex cob. And he's not a bad guy, not a terrible bad guy. Does he smell like Funyuns?

1:15:58Yes. But does he have some bad behavior? Absolutely. And then you throw drinking into the mix and the occasional kooky kooky. And then for someone of his character, it gets even more complicated. And not only that, my name is on everything. So basically he just saddled her with a bunch of debt and is now just gonna walk away fucking her over which pretty much everybody saw coming years ago But right Wow, right? The booze basically turns to Amanda and it's like well Well, what can do Amanda? You're a financial jury? What can do we do proactively knowing what these knowing these unknowns? Is there anything she can do to protect yourself?

1:16:36Amanda? You have the floor to be the financial girl you proclaim yourself to be and she's like um here's your test amanda let's give amanda a test right now and see because you know bows already knows all this stuff yeah here's some fail safe ways for you to protect yourself first i think you have to decide what you want what you've been creating and who you're going to be and i know that's like those are big overarching questions but i am just put on the spot so i'm just going to give you some you know classic bullshit and just make it sound very professional so who do you want to be as a provider who do you want to be as a woman who earns who do you want to be as a woman who goes to starbucks are you a grande person are you a trente are you a venti what size drink do you like because that's going to inform how much money you're going to save think about that who are you pigtails ponytails are a bun think about it think about that hatchback or sedan okay outer recliner is it a love seed do you like a love seed do you like a convertible what are you Tyler Wood yeah um fluorescent or LED what's your vibe or battery acid you have to really think about these things and it sounds like a bunch of bullshit she has no financial advice Here is the financial advice that you need.

1:17:57You need a financial, what do you call it when the person goes, a forensic accountant and a lawyer. That's what you need. Okay. Lawyer and a forensic accountant. Duh. Yep. Why is nobody saying that to her? It's making me nuts. And Boza's like, wait a minute. What is this frou-frou mess she's talking about? I was looking for one plus one equals two. You're on the wrong show.

1:18:26hello you're trying to get to read to do math uh she doesn't even know what part of town she's in what kind of provider does she want to be what does that even mean that's not financial advice the math ain't mathin yes so okay let me give you some real financial advice what sort of badass woman do you want to be because that's the financial advice you need there we go that's the real shit right there yeah that's actually what i wanted to hear from bows because i mean you know bows is the one that i'm going to assume has it more together in the self-help department than amanda does just because i so far like bows but um wow this is scary man yikes poor dorite literally yikes yeah yeah so that is the episode we'll see how it goes yeah it's not like it's not gonna be good for Dorit because PK is crafty and I feel like he's going to rake Dorit over the coals.

1:19:17I think it's going to be bad. He's already set her up for complete failure by putting everything in her name and then walking off and refusing to pay it.

1:19:27Very Jacks on the Valley. I don't know what the next Beverly Hills episode is, but this is our last one until the new year. Thanks everyone for being here. We will catch you next week. Bye everyone

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