#3129 Married To Medicine S12E04: Toya Story

0:21Hello and welcome to Watch What Crap It. I'm Ronnie and that's Ben. Hello Ben. Hi Ronnie. How's it going? Good. Welcome to Married to Medicine Day, everybody. Today is also our final Amazon Live of the year. It'll be at 4 p.m. Pacific time on Amazon Live. You can find that by looking at our link in bio on Instagram. That's the easiest way. And today, we're going to do a little Married to Medicine. And then below deck tomorrow. And then we're out of here for Christmas. Oh, party. Exciting. Well. It's so exciting. So exciting. This episode of Married to Medicine, wow, what a doozy. What a doozy.

1:01I was, I mean, Toya's going to Toya. That's what I've got to say. All these years in, Toya is still going to Toya. It is, I was cracking up. I was cracking up and I was also like, Toya. Toya, shameful. Yes. Embarrassing and shameful, Toya. But, you know, it was kind of also refreshing because a lot of times on these shows, I mean, this show is in its 12th year, people. Okay. 12th and a lot of times on these shows you watch them for so many years and people really get watered down they listen to what the audience is saying and they take that and they try and change for the audience and i mean look at kyle richards kyle richards actually used to be fun and somewhat honest and now she's just like i can't talk about it and it's so and it just gets so annoying and watered down basically to watch these people after a decade sometimes not toya not any of this cast i have to say really not any of them they're like you know what i'll be worse than ever yeah it's season 12 and i'm gonna be the worst version of myself that you've ever seen so sit tight it's like yes yeah truly um toya is a force unto herself and sometimes you just forget that and it was great to see toya being vintage toya this episode so um we start off We're actually still at that hookup party for Brandy.

2:24It's her birthday dinner where Contessa just had a full on, you know, I want it's not a meltdown, but she definitely had a moment where she was feeling obviously very jealous about the fact that Brandy's man. Did something to contribute to the birthday as opposed to Contessa's man, Scott, who did nothing. So we're in the wake of that, and Simone has just been making comments about sort of like wanting to get divorced from Cecil again. And everyone is alarmed, including Quad, who, you know, Quad and Simone have been on shaky ground for a while. But Quad puts that to the side to express a certain amount of concern.

3:08Yeah, she's like, who here, who here has not thought of ending their marriage? And Quad's like, don't say it. Don't say it Simone don't do it and Simone's like girl you have no idea do I look happy do I look happy

3:31Heavenly next to him Simone's like I have been so frustrated with my family and the way that Cecil has not had my back This is a clear indication that my marriage is not in the right place. And so Jackie's like, oh, this is back down memory lane for Simone and Cecil, and it's disturbing. We often joke about our husbands, but something's not right. The D word? Divorce? Yes, we know the D word. Thank you, Jackie. For those who didn't listen to Real Housewives of Potomac recap, it turns out that after all of this after all of Simone's hemming and hawing and standing up for herself and I'm not taking this shit anymore she ended up buying that little brat a Tesla and then took him and his brother and their girlfriends to Jamaica so I don't know what happened between this scene and that but damn she's fit to be tied right here you know so Simone's like well I just want to live in a high rise downtown and Jackie's like say it again and I'm going to pop you on your lips.

4:39I'm going to pop you on your L word. That's lips. Simone's like, I'm in my zen. So Brandy's like, okay, everyone, this is supposed to be something for good spirits. We're supposed to be coming here with a good spirit, so let's change it. Change the energy, daddy. So Contessa's like, yes, let's reset. We'll reset. I'm like, don't act like you're the one, Contessa, acting like you're bringing in a new great energy. You're the one who created the negative energy at this party in the first place so started it contessa but also brandy's saying oh guys we i feel like we lost the whole intention for this thing have you watched this show the intention is wallowing in bad marriages yeah i mean where have you been there's that too so uh contest is basically saying that brandy she's brandy is new to this group and we can go hard in the paint but i don't think paying for a couple you know a thousand dollar dinner like paying you know a A couple thousand dollars for dinner is a thing to do cartwheels and back handsprings about.

5:38But for some people it is. And that's awesome. I'm like, yeah, it should be. Because this isn't like a milestone birthday. It's just like it seems like it's just some other like an off your birthday. So, yeah, I'm still going to support this guy doing this for Brandy. I think it's pretty cool compared to Scott. Yeah, why not? Especially when Scott did nothing and you're trying to give him credit just for paying for it. Yeah. Yeah. So, Heavenly is like, Simone, get some nuts. Come on, can I have some love? Are you doing okay? She's like, I love you. It's tough. She's like, and Kwa's like, she's gonna be alright.

6:10And Heavily's like, well, my shit's worse than yours, guaranteed. I fussed my boy out, and he left, and I don't even know where the fuck he is. You're gonna find him. Okay, let's sit down, because we got the shoes, baby. Let's sit down so I can cry to you. Okay, you wanna hear what happened to me? So when my son got arrested, you don't understand my heart. And then I came off all wrong, obviously, because when I tried to curse my opinion to my boys, I'm, you know, I'm cursing their opinion out, and I don't know, I just feel really bad that they didn't understand what I was trying to say. And I was like, get the fuck out of my ass.

6:40And they didn't really understand. And Simone's like, that's how I do it, too. She goes, very loudly. She's like, yes, that's me. And Heavenly's like, and you know what? He never disrespected me. He just got his shit, and he left. But here is the thing, Heavenly. we created the monster and you can't be mad at the monster you literally can retrain the monster retrain the monster don't just be like well that's a monster that's what they do they scare they scare my kid when she goes to bed at night by hiding under the bed put nails under the bed do something to get the monster out from under the bed you you literally control frankenstein you literally can be mad at the monster if you're not going to be mad at the monster it's just a pet okay like the monster is there for you to be mad at right so then um so then they sort of like hug or whatever but they they sort of like understand each other in that moment so now we go back to simone at work it's another day and a patient's asking simone about hot flashes and she's like well one of the things that make hot flashes worse are caffeinated beverages and alcoholic beverages and the lady's like so what about wine wine is alcohol

7:54so then we go over to Contessa and Scott's money pit the new office and Contessa's like okay realistically how much time do you think before we get finished and he's like well we've got 40 ,000 floors and walls and ceilings to do which isn't that a coincidence that's how much her party cost and so she's like pinky promise which is weird but we just had a scene last week where they told you it was two months so I don't know why you asking Scott every day how much time you have left is going to change everything it's still two months and then we go to Brandy at work and she's just you know going to give some filler to someone and now we have Toya and Eugene and they're walking in a park this was important because there's a new kind of filler that's a very thin filler so I thought that was I was like what is it talk about it please talk about it what kind of filler is this is it better than big chunky like Lisa Rinna filler like what is it i want to know what it is how much does it cost where is it on the menu what does it do to my uterus or whatever my urology center yeah something we'll have to look into for 2026 i suppose yeah yeah so now we go to toya and eugene more in that moment yeah and they're walking in the park and toya's like look at this kid play like the play of the look at this kid playing player did you ever did you want to have enough what is she what is she what is she saying Look at this kid playing player Did you want to have another quick So we can walk to I don't know They're just walking She's like look at your children They're sleeping in bed with the black eyes The black eyes eyes down until 3 in the afternoon What's up with that you Ujid And he's like well that's boys That's why they grow a lot in the summer Because they sleep a lot She's like what?

9:37Because that's when your body sleeps And she's like are you giving them an excuse for staying in bed all day He's like no I'm serious She's like well I don't want them sleeping in the summer away either but anyway how many days are you off here till he's like well i'm off for six days just off off from the er how many days are you actually gonna like off from the recharge wellness he goes well i don't have anything scheduled but i do need a break because i just worked pretty much seven days in a row and she goes well i know you were asking me about my walkthrough at contessa's office and he's like yeah well what did you think and she's like well when i told her that we were looking for space she's like i took the storage unit so i just carved out a little bit more space for Eugene and she's basically like yeah they gave us like a shitty little corner of their building that's not even done yet yeah she says the problem is they took up all the greatness of the building for itself and then she's like anything on the right with windows is mine and then here you go over here in the storage closet right outside the bathroom so we gotta smell everything going on nah I'm good I'm good who would have thought who would have thought that this would have already started to lead to problems I didn't think it'd be this yeah we knew this was gonna happen we knew it was gonna happen but i'm surprised contessa is ballsy enough to put tory's husband right by the bathrooms in the closet that's crazy yeah that is wild um so tory is like i just don't feel confident with some of the things she was saying and eugene's like look i understand the goal is to work less and to be home more and i i even like growing recharge wellness some because that gives me the opportunity to be home more and work less shifts but like now i'm just like i'm sorry that the compromise with me making more money right now is being out of town.

11:14She's like, yeah, why do you need to work? Why do you need to work yourself until you're exhausted and drive five hours away to any job? Well, have you seen the rest of your episode, Toya? Why does Eugene have to work so hard that he has to drive five hours just to make the money he can to support this family and then cut to her with a pool party back with Louis Vuitton towels that cost$545 each because, yes, I looked them up. oh my gosh not to mention why would he want to because you're hellish if this episode is like anything like your normal life he is escaping you do you understand because for a lot of this i'm like well why there's places that aren't five hours away to work i don't understand why he would have to go do this five hour thing either i didn't really get it either but after this episode i sure as shit do i mean damn yeah he's like look i'm working less shifts that just happened to be out of town and when I was working in town it was the same amount of shifts if not more so whether I sleep in my own bed or the Holiday Inn Express which you know she hated that he said Holiday Inn Express you know because like here they are Louis Vuitton blankets or towels but when he's traveling he's staying at a Holiday Inn Express no no don't tell people that's what you say you mean at the Ritz-Carlton of rural Georgia right?

12:33I know but can you imagine if he tried to stay at the Ritz-Carlton she wouldn't let him not without her she'd be like oh no you're going to the holiday and express her and you're lucky that it's not the best western non express so she's like at the end of the day you get nothing for nothing and eugene can roll his eyes and shake his head but he has no clue what type of stress that we go through as a stay-at-home mom single because your husband's gone okay well your kids are old and at school all day and i'm not saying that that's nothing but comparing that to this man working 10 jobs and driving all over the damn state to just try and get you Louis Vuitton towels.

13:10It's enough, Toria. Come on. Yeah. We all acknowledge that being a stay-at-home mom is a very rigorous and difficult job. We will never take that away. Even when the kids are older, it's still a lot. But do you understand? You guys are moving houses every single year. There's extravagance on display all the time. We see the cars. We see the towels, et cetera. It's like that doesn't pay for itself. Like he has to go out and work these jobs. It's crazy. And she's saying, well, you're sleeping, and you know your family's coming and going, and your house is being run to perfection. So, yeah, I mean, it's not any different for you, but for me it's very different.

13:57And he's like, but I'm home. She says, I'm home for five or six, seven days without my husband. And he's like, well, you can't have your cake and eat it too, Toya. and she just looks at him like how dare you yeah what else am i supposed to do with a cake yeah he's like all these hospitals waste the case well it's not me i don't understand that like all these hospitals i keep going to they want me to work there full time there's a good there's a need for good er doctors there's not many she's yeah but there's also a need for good black husbands that are home and it's like i know but like which is why i took this job so they by the way they are in a clearly in like a death spiral right now because like she's miserable because you know honestly like you know it does suck because she wants she wants him to be home with her and and so she's miserable that he's not home and so she's resentful so the time that they do have together she's angry which makes him want to actually leave more which makes her more resentful and yada yada goes around in a circle and it's not good i know that simone and cecil will have a whole lot to bite into when they do their unlicensed couple there this season in the caribbean a couple's therapy in the bahamas or wherever we're gonna do relay races something yeah relay races and somehow this fixes everything the potato sack race of whose marriage is on rockier ground this season toya you're gonna speak to daddy and pretend that daddy is eugene now tell daddy how you feel about eugene that's what's going to be and say it on my lap at Cecil uh so then we go to Dr.

15:29Jackie's office and quad's there and uh quad is there with King and uh Jackie's like oh King came he's gonna get an exam too and it's like well what are we checking on King JJ what are we gonna check out on King Jackie And she said, we'll check out his prostrate. And he's like, oh, that's exit only. Sorry. All right. Well, Sam, you know, quad. So she introduces quad to like the tech and everything. I love that he's acting like it's a gay thing. He's like, exit only. Okay. So you're never going to get a prostrate exam. Really? It is. It is also kind of funny to think like, she's like, well, what are we checking on King?

16:09I'm going to stick my finger up his asshole. The OBGYN. Yeah, I've got bad news for you, King. That day is going to come, whether you like it or not. Someday a doctor is going to stick their finger up your butt. And it's going to happen a lot sooner than you expect. So Jackie is like, they're settling in everything. And they're saying hi, et cetera. And then King's saying he's asking about this tech from Jamaica, whatever. and that they get in and jackie is saying how like you know she's working with the doctor in ghana this fertility journey and she's gonna be supportive and they're gonna go look they start looking for cysts and everything what was so funny is that like king did like a lot of research ahead of this appointment so he knows like all this information and he's like he's like very happy that he's like he knows stuff he's like sort of suppressing his smile because because basically quad is they're looking at the service pretty smart actually it's like more initiative than we've seen any husband on any show on bravo ever do to be honest like i was like your breath i was like oh his wife has a medical issue and he's actually sat down on the internet and did like the research so uh dr jackie is like so from the end of the uterus to the cervix what uh this is the cervix and quasi what does the cervix do for the people let everyone no.

17:32And King goes, King is like, it holds the baby. And Jackie's like, wow. He looked up what the cervix does. Look at that doctor. Look at him. He's so smart, Jackie. He's so smart. My man. So since you have a long cervix, we won't need to suture anything up because we'll, and we'll be good. Wow. Look at that. He's like, I studied. He's so happy. Yeah. It's like, and then we're going to measure the thickness of the walls And make sure they're not worn out And Quaz is like, my walls are not worn out Now watch your ass How dare you How dare you talk about my worn out walls No, my walls are stronger The one who's got weak walls is Jill the Daffodil Has it, baby Jill the Daffodil has it, baby So, um So anyway, they're looking They see a little cyst and Jack is explaining it and you know that it's like it's part of what happens etc and it's just a medical scene and it's just only funny because King actually keeps on interjecting with these like one thing about ovaries is that they tend to grow at a rate of three millimeters per year he just has all these little facts he's like so happy

18:53it's time for a commercial it's time for a Crappens commercial

19:02Okay, so now we go over to Mimi and her husband, and they're driving, and they're like, we have a surprise for you kids, what do you think it is? And the boy is like, a monster truck! And Savannah, the little girl, is like, um, I think I just want like 60 LOL dolls so I can have them. Maybe that's my surprise. LOL dolls. Kids love those. The LOL dolls. What are they? What's an LOL doll? I have to look it up. Um, you know, our friend Michelle, she has two, two daughters. And when they were a little bit younger, they were always asking for these LOL dolls. Um, they're like, I think they come in like a little box or a ball or something.

19:39A ball. They come in like a little lunch box ball. Yeah. It's like a, it's like a, it's like a capsule. It's like a Tylenol. It's just like big eyed, like a big eyed doll, big eyed, little doll, sort of like a Bratz. it's like the it's like the it i feel like it owes a lot to the brats community my brats i mean the toy nothing else um so uh yeah they want this this girl wants a lot of lol dolls and so steve's like you're excited like you said for summer they're just making small talk with the kids and everything and they're telling us that the kids are 18 months apart and cv was diagnosed with autism um he had certain peculiar behaviors um and like that diagnosis was hard for them and so they need to like they're gonna find like a special needs camp for stevie yeah so they're talking about that and then um stevie gets mad at his sister and hits her and so she starts crying and they're like oh god so they pull over and then they just basically talk about how hard it you know how hard it is to learn how to deal you know be good parents to their kid and all that so it's nice it's i was like hilarious i found myself like out of nowhere like i got my i started to get choked up because they're both crying in their interview like they're both sitting there crying and actually you really see these are two parents are really trying to work with this it's a difficult situation and they basically like mimi goes in the back seat to sit with the son the daughter goes the front seat although it was funny i thought like when the kid like punches sister and she's like she starts to cry and then they're like can you guys like stevie like they reprimand the son and then steve sanders is like i think what steve was like okay you guys have to hug and i just thought it was funny because like they hug but they're still mad at each other but it's like what kids like you know when kids have to do things you know and they're like stevie's angry still crying she's like oh

21:40but like um it was cute but yeah it was actually like a very beautiful scene and i was definitely i was like i was like they're such good parents they're working so hard

21:52i'm imagining you sitting at home crying on your couch it's so funny because you know i can't stand kids and yet like like weirdly like i'll get like choked up about this stuff maybe i can't stand them because i secretly want them no that's a lie i did i definitely do not want kids do it oh my god do it i would think that if you guys had kids think is that what matt come on i need a kid oh absolutely i got i got a new baby here in texas my cousin had a baby and she's so cute little isla but i don't have a new baby you know well actually that's not true my friend rebecca just had a baby never mind you're off the hook you've got like five years till i need oh she had her baby but then it's time that's exciting it's so cute she's so cute you know what i oh you know what i had last night i always need a baby in my life i did not have a baby last night i had dinner with my friends so that was fun i liked being able to do that anyway well that is the thing it's like oh i love your baby miss your mommy you know i always tell the baby miss your mommy okay yeah thanks for being born i'm sure it's gonna be great for you yep like you know for us gays that's what we see we see our straight friends they get married and then you say well that's it having a baby see you in 18 years I still see them all the time it's just different you know it's not like nice dinners it's just like we're both covered in Cheerios now and bar of course you see them it's just in a different context yeah so then Eugene and Toya are getting ready for their party they're making a list and Toya's inviting everybody and she's I'm very hesitant to invite the other ladies because we're judged on everything.

23:28I can't even keep track of all the things said about these ladies have said about us. But I'm just trying hardest to give my friends the opportunity to show me something different. Oh, okay. And then so we see clips of everybody being so judgmental. And it's like heavenly going, wait a minute, why are there camels at this party? Which I feel like is a valid judgment. Valid judgment. And like also you guys had tax issues. So that's why people are being judgy. Also, Toya, you're a judgy bitch. When I say bitch, I mean like the nice bitch. Like, yes, bitch. Not like you're a judgy bitch. But like, you know, you're like, we're judgy bitches too.

24:04Like, that's just how it is. Were you not just being judgy about Contessa's office building five seconds ago? Like, I'm sure they could pull out a whole nice montage of you being judgy over the years. And guess what? Don't stop. We appreciate it. And it's deserved. But also, another thing is like, whenever you buy a house, that's like always inviting judgment. no matter what it doesn't matter if you're a toy or just anyone who buys a house people are gonna people will judge and they'll have side conversations i'm like wow i really like the house well i was surprised they like i'm surprised they went for this or they did a good job with that so if you keep buying a house every single year you're just basically inviting a new round of judgments sorry yeah so she is telling eugene okay well i started texting that don't get me wrong i started it but there was a fake balance yaga purse that was left at my party the other day so in our group chat I said whose fake ass purse is this and Eugene's like but why?

24:56Why do you have to go about it like that? Toya who hates judgments hates judgments and Toya who doesn't have any fake things I know yeah Toya's like why are they so judgmental so who left this fake ass purse at my house? So Toya's like well so Heavenly sends a text and is like uh baby that's my purse but my house is paid off which I love that that was Heavenly's response that's my purse but my house is paid off

25:25and eugene goes yeah well i'd hope so you've been there 35 years and she's like that's what i said i mean disgusting they're living in an old house that they've been living off it for like 35 years like it's not gross it's called being financially responsible and preparing yourself for retirement at some point and like eugene who's never going to be able to retire he's going to be working until he's 90 years old i know i love how judgy they are for someone who's been in their house since 2023 i'm sorry i'm for 23 years like like she's like wow that's that's horrifying you know do you know that these things appreciate right real estate supposed to appreciate or yes you know that you are in debt and they have money coming to them like a lot of money coming to them from theirs so eugene is like yeah group chat bad idea it's like oh you and your friends don't have a chat and he's like yeah but we he's like no we don't have a group thread which is weird right that the guys on this show don't have a group thread i mean that's i don't believe it i don't believe that i don't believe it there's guys chat if there's anything we learn from the valley there's always guys chat so toy is like yeah the only thing it would be would be about cigars and the next golf outing and like you know wearing sports jerseys you know eugene was like wow you can have a group chat about that i'm starting it up right now hey guys i just got a new cigar i want to go golfing i'm gonna get a new jersey afterwards yeah he's like whose fake golf bag is this and they laugh and she says i mean girl let me go love all my oh i said girl let me go love all my family and friends who love me in return and get this party together see ya and then she put girl i'm in between patients but i had to say this because my man loves me too but his dick is so big you're loving on some little shit let's go heavenly i just want to be in a thread with heavenly where she tells me off every day i know and eugene's like this is the dumbest conversation ever and he does that thing where he likes or like looks left and right you know where he's like and he looks sort of like he sort of he becomes kind of like a little bit of a Muppet because his head shakes.

27:31He'll be like, he's the dumbest conversation ever. She's like, yeah, that was the first thing in the morning. So now we go to Mimi and Steve. You started it. You started it both with Heavenly and by telling everyone you wish your husband's dick was bigger. Which, I mean, you started it on every level. So then we go to Mimi and Steve. They're on their way. And he's, Mimi is saying, she's talking about the group chat and saying it was lit. She's like, and Heavenly went at it. And like, I'm just embarrassed about my friends acting like this in this group chat. I just want you to know what you might be walking into.

28:05You're embarrassed. You're the one who signed up for this. This chat has been raging for years before you got here, Mimi. So then Toya announces, so this is the party. So after yelling at, well, she didn't yell, but after basically chastising Eugene for working too much, Toya's like, okay, everyone. I'm now gonna throw a party With Louis Vuitton towels And all sorts of Excess It's a skip work day Toya style It's all about serenity Which spoiler alert There's nothing serene about this party The fact that she says it's all about serenity Is hilarious So she's like yeah I'm gonna take the girls And transport them to the south of France No no this is not the south of France at all this is not the south of france it's like the south of a french dressing bottle maybe so she's like yeah you gotta have a bartender with frozen drinks that cool you off and we see by the way big week for that frozen margarita machine because it was the same one that craig had on southern charm they got a bunch of close-ups on this episode oh it's like the same brand and everything i think so it looked like it maybe we should put that on our amazon on live yeah they're they selling these on bravo right now uh so then cecil you know people start arriving and stuff and eugene's like did you skip work and cecil's like well hers can't be a skip date because she's skipping patients and someone's like i would have called i would i would have to be called leave the patients behind so they they say hi anila is there and oh god anila and kieran they show up and of course a cyber truck i for some reason i didn't really peg um kieran to be a cyber truck driver i pegged him to be someone who would make fun of those people i pegged eugene to be a cyber really i thought eugene would be the one with the cyber truck because eugene is very much like he's like a big old like tech nerd and i feel like he would be into like the techie like the like oh my god it's still driving and has all these features blah blah blah blah blah bought like the way like all those tesla like the hardcore like tesla people are um so i thought eugene would be the one and then kieran would just be like making fun of him but it was actually kieran who has it and like i'm just so embarrassed for him i'm embarrassed for anyone who has those trucks i'm sorry to say sorry that's just yellows trucks are stupid they're literally driving triangles they don't they don't even make any sense and i was wondering have you ever seen the windows down on those are they like knives are they like sharp daggers that i i don't know Chop your children's fingers off because they're perfect triangles.

30:43And then the window goes up into a triangle. So how does that work? I know we're going to get some emails from some people being like, I actually have a Cybertruck. And I swear I'm not a dick. It's actually a really nice truck. I'm very happy for you. But what part of me saying that we're judgy bitches did you not hear? I am a judgy bitch. I'm a judgy bitch. And I see the Cybertruck. I've got the Cybertruck Cafe, the pilot experiment, the Cybertruck Diner. is like a few blocks from me and all i see is all those lined up i drove by that lined up my gosh i drove past that the other day going i think i was with you we were doing something in hollywood and i was leaving there and going somewhere else in hollywood and i passed that little place and i was cracking up i mean it's the biggest douchebag biggest douchebag there's everybody's like out there shooting content they're like hey they're like standing on their test slab pretending they're surfing like you getting this yeah bro they're like shooting like hip-hop music videos in the streets or cyber trucks and shit it's like oh my god literally every person in here is a fucking douche all dudes there was not one normal person who's literally all tiktok content creators acting like dicks i was cracking up because i've never seen that before it was like a movie set it's it's crazy it's crazy and then so i'm just like not gonna have sympathy for anyone who drives a cyber truck because it's just a It's just a douchey car.

32:07I'm sorry. Now, I will say the Tesla, my cousin, one of my cousins got a Tesla and she was telling me about it the other day. That self-driving feature sounds amazing. Now, that sounds amazing. Now, politically, I wouldn't get it because I would feel gross driving one. Get a Waymo. But I don't think people buy Waymos for themselves. Those are just like. No. And also, they have like the full chimney thing on top, the chimney fan or whatever. I like to think of it as a top hat. Yeah. But the Tesla, she's like, yeah, I have it take me to the mall. I said, because she went to the mall Christmas shopping.

32:40And I'm like, who does that right before Christmas? Wasn't it crazy? On the weekend. And she said, oh, yeah, but I just had my car drop me off in the front. And then I told it to go park itself. So it went to find parking. And then when I was ready, it came to pick me up. That's wild. I mean, I didn't know the Tesla's crazy. I thought the Tesla's were like we're in the car and it was sort of like drive for you. Like it would follow the lanes. Everybody still sort of have to monitor it. you could take your foot off the gas it'll do the rest i didn't know it was like you actually get out of the car imagine like that's what imagine that's the story that you were told but in reality it's like news report like abandoned tesla rolls crashes into three cars at the mall parking lot i wouldn't put it past this cousin to just be like yeah i just got out in front and when i came back my car was there waiting for me that is totally like her i tell you i never drove away at all i did take my first waymo by the way i took waymo for the first time your first wine yeah have you taken i don't know why i'm judging i've never taken one no i've never taken it was kind of i drive everywhere because i don't really drink anymore i don't drink that much anymore so but it was kind of great uh it was uh what was crazy about it is that it changes lanes very aggressively like it's kind of like well it was very much like the teemo of changing lanes it's like now is the time to change lanes and it's like like whoa but it was it was nice I make lean change now.

33:57You move. It was fun. I enjoyed it. I enjoyed my Waymo experience. It's wild. At first, it really is wild. You're really like, wow, there's no one driving this car. The steering wheel is just turning itself. And I'm in the hands of a robot. But every time I start to get freaked out about that, you just have to remember all the times you've been in the hands of a human and the terrible decisions that they make over and over and over again. And somehow the robot doesn't seem as bad. Yeah. I'm here for the robot apocalypse, frankly. I think it's great. I mean, not the apocalypse where they turn on us and kill us all, but the point leading up to that.

34:37It sounds so fun. I love the little... We're like, robots do everything. It's great until they get sick of our shit. Anyway, so this is a party about Serenity. And she's like, and then everybody's going to walk around outside and be transformed, where you just feel like, You're around people with money, all right? So, Toya. Poor Toya. That's so tacky. Toya's so tacky. To be like, I want everybody to come to my place and feel like they're around money and people with money. Yeah. I feel like people with money don't feel like that. It's just like you feel like you're around people with money because we're all rich.

35:14Yeah. Like, I don't have to make you feel that way with, like, cheesy branded towels. Yeah. Or napkins. so toya's like it's like well i'm going by my napkin right there did you did you read it mimi that napkin did you just sit on that little bitty ass that so she's mad because mimi put a napkin down and sat on it and the napkin was like monogrammed or something and toya was so so mad that this napkin was not and this is also how you can see the difference ron and i recently like we had we went to someone's house who was very very very wealthy very very very very wealthy and she had all monogrammed cloth napkins and they were like and i was like oh my god this is like i was being so careful with it it was like a monogram it was like a little cloth napkin with a monogram i was like gotta be careful and she was like oh don't worry about that i've got a pack of 500 or something like that because you're when you're wealthy you just buy them in mass it's like buying solo cups and that's the difference because joya was like wait but that was one of my monogram napkins but i think it's also really offensive that she just like came and put a napkin down and then sat down and she goes why are you doing that because my shit's clean okay this isn't heavenly's house it's also funny because like that napkin's probably not gonna help that was funny but like i didn't i didn't i was looking away from the tv and i didn't go back did did she put it down to protect herself or did she just sit on a napkin without realizing I don't know.

36:43But she's like, are you confused? Because she sat on that little bitty napkin like it was a cleat or something over there. And Mimi's like, um, so this negativity. And she's like, yeah, where are you coming from with this negativity? And this is like, Natoya holds on to it for the rest of the episode. Because later on when she's like calling up people who are being negative at a party. And she's like, Mimi. It's like because of the napkin? Because you sat on the napkin? Yeah, she's coming for Mimi. So now Heavenly and Damon arrive. And Heavenly's like, oh, what a beautiful home now. Wow, look at this.

37:13Can we go straight to the bar? I said it was nice. Okay, now can we just go to the bar? And so Tori is like, oh, look at you, Goldilocks. She goes, oh, this is a beautiful house, Tori. I swear to God, it looks like your last one, but grander. This first one, not the last one you were in. Just that, you know, just so it's not like this one. It's not like the last one you were in. You know, this one, this one's grander. And you know what? It has so much more debt attached to it. Congratulations, Tori. This is, I really like this one. this is this is much better than their last one but not the last one the one before that well the one that was after the other one but before the other one was the one with the waterfall which was the one that was haunted that had the ghosts and but the one that also had the basketball not the one with the pool on the inside and Toria's like oh so the one we actually built the forever home that lasted two weeks come on now yeah so heavenly it's like I mean all the homes are nice I mean she's been in seven or eight homes I could probably count them out but who has the time toria works hard she works hard baby she works hard for the money i don't know what now i don't know what she does but she works she does something so she's like are you still mad at me from this morning she's like no no no i promise to god no i just came in to get my purse that's all i just need my purse that's all i need which is funny because toria is still mad from the morning but she's asking if heavenly's still mad she's like well now you know the person doesn't go into my closet i mean i wouldn't even go in i mean my door wouldn't unlock she's like yeah i just need my purse can't my purse please so then um uh then all of a sudden these servers come out and they're like it's like a guy in like like uh like tighty-whities like this muscular guy gorgeous muscular guy and everyone's like what what's going on makes no sense like the husbands are there but then there's also like but then there's like a woman who comes out in a bikini and we're like what is happening here why why do we have these scantily clad servers people to come into this party and and feel like rich people are here i'm like yep just like you see at every wealthy person's party strippers in their underwear serving you know like classic fucking costco you know weenies or we go to grandge connecticut and i'll tell you one thing all of those bankers have nothing but but bikini clad servers dick you're gonna see some dick that's for sure and uh he's like oh my god look at this look at this guy with his dick out so

39:45i mean they brought their whole dicks out at the table simone and tori's like what are you talking about and she's like mimi you look uncomfortable and tori's like come on let's go outside come on so now they go out and toy is like go stop by the men's servers go go go ask what he wants yeah and all the guys like what is happening so jackie and curtis arrive and um then contestant scott and mimi's asking for a tour of the house so toy gives like a tour she's like okay okay this here's my closet look there's a look there's a tree in the closet and contestant's like wow this is amazing who thought to put a fucking tree in here that's who would have thought that's amazing you know they're all like why is there a tree in her closet why is there a big fake like michael's tree in your i know with cherry plastic cherry blossoms glued on there like is there storage in this tree what do you do do you lean on it to put on your shoes like what is the point of this tree could you have had an island or something that you could like fold clothes on or something was this part of every school play like you're like very attached to the set commercials here comes one right now

40:54so then quad and king arrive and everyone's like hey king hey we hired you to be a server you gotta take your shirt off or whatever he's like no no no bro i love this house but i'm a little uncomfortable i mean why are there naked men here whoa whoa i can't see naked men they're like sir would you like an appetizer exit only exit only okay all right so um then um toy is like oh oh oh you need some more okay guys let's stop the play game okay it's girls versus guys so i'm just it's just gonna show how it's shaped you guys are okay i'm gonna put some hula hoops on the ground and i want you to keep in shape so that when we go on the couples trip you all look good and you could take off your shirts and they're like what the hell kind of game it There is no game in the world that would get me ready to go take off my shirt out of town.

41:44Okay? Put your hula hoops away. Save yourself some time. So she basically, she wants to have like a fun little scene, but like at all the husband's expense. And the guys are like, we thought this was like a day off. Like we don't, like we don't want to play a game. We just want to like hang out and smoke our cigars. And she's like, we're going to do it. We're going to do it. And Eugene's like, okay, guys, I'm going to write a script. So that way we can be excused from strenuously exercise. So he starts writing like a prescription, you know, as like a joke. Let me show you how to play it. Okay, Eugene, Eugene, Eugene.

42:13Now, you know, out of anyone, I understand the frustration of when you're trying to put together a party game and you want people to pay attention and have buy-in because you know it could be really fun. It could be really funny. It could be a really great moment. And then there's one person who's like, their humor is to be like, you know, anti, and then they ruin the whole vibe and your whole thing goes down in flames. So I get that. I fully get that from Toya. but your party game is to like humiliate like your husband you know and it's like no toya like this is like your whole thing is that you you want him to be home more and then now he's home and you want to like you want to like humiliate him with like of this party game i don't i don't think this is well even that i mean the game didn't even nothing we don't even know anything about the game so we don't even know if it was good bad whatever but she's like Eugene are you paying attention and he's he's pretending to write the prescriptions and he's like oh I'm just gonna keep writing these she goes oh really you want to be hard right now and he's like uh she suddenly goes like so she starts like going at him at this party and it's really awkward and she's trying I think to like get some she's like there's like a desperation about her husband in his place or there's something so weird about it that's just gonna like let eugene have it in front of everybody and show everybody who's boss and it's like there's like she comes in with an energy to this whole game that's like not like okay guys we're gonna do something fun she's like okay eugene okay i'll let you do your thing and then when you're done like or she doesn't even say something like like okay could you eugene please can you like help me out with this like she sort of has this like determination like i'm gonna have this scene we're gonna do this we're gonna do this like oh you're not gonna do this with me oh so now you're gonna be hard like there's like uh there there's like uh she's like unsettled or something and uh it starts to like totally unravel for her and she cannot stop herself now now she's going down this path and he's like whoa whoa when she's like oh now you're gonna be hard because now she's like really kind of like she is now like challenging him at like on like a personal level that's already now very awkward for all the guests because we you know that this is now shifted from banter to like oh this is a couple fights so steve's like wow why is your wife talking to you like that bro and she's like are you done and he's like i had to write some doctor's excuses and scott's like oh yeah we got doctor's excuses so we don't have to participate she's like oh yeah you think you're really funny Eugene and he's like so what if we got doctor's notes we got notes and so this it's like trying to be funny but it's past that point because she's made it so awkward so she's like okay man come on this side and Eugene can you be the leader of your house and lead your friends to this side and Heavenly's like oh no Toya Toya no no baby no no no and she goes well how else do you expect them to get up and Heavenly goes say daddy I like that say daddy it always works Eugene's like I mean you can do it in a nice way or you can do it in a mean way She's like I did it a nice way first I've been asking you for the last 30 minutes And he's like yeah and we had a joke where we had doctors It wasn't funny He's like but you want to do that we're not going to do that She's like it wasn't funny Chris is like I mean it's kind of funny I mean some of these are funny If you read the prescriptions like this one here is very funny She's like I don't want to hear it Yeah so he's like well I can sit here all day long Eugene says So she's like, I'm over this.

45:44I'm over it. I'm over it. Now the whole party is standing basically in a circle watching her just lose her fucking mind. It's so awkward. And so she walks inside all pissed off. And he's like, okay, it's okay. I mean, ha, ha, ha. We've been married 18 years, right? I'll get over this. Everything's fine. And so, yeah, Anila pulls Toya to go try and have a scene, which I love that they didn't even put one sliver of dialogue of Anila's in. They just cut it all out. Sorry, Anila. You can keep trying it, but yeah. the production's a huge no on Adela. So Heavenly's like, oh no, they're going to start this shit in a new house?

46:19I mean, this house costs too much. The divorce is going to take too much money away from the house. I mean, who's going to get the house? And Quad's like, no one. They're going to stay together and they're going to kill each other in this house. And then Curtis turns to King and he's like, is this what you got to look forward to? And King's like, man, no, nada. I did some research and I found that one out of seven couples end in divorce. so I'm already prepared. Wow, you really do do your research. So Toya's like, well, they all want to do this. Sit around and drink and watch asses walk by. And Nila's like, well, then we can play the game.

46:55And she's like, no, it's not. It wasn't just a game, okay? And so Katessa now comes up to console Toya. They're in the closet. And she's like, for a man, that's a good party. So she did get a sliver. What'd you say? She did get a sliver of that. She did. She got a line. All right, Nila. Sorry. Yeah, I thought she didn't even get one line. Stop with the Anila erasure, okay? I did. I was like, yes, for erasing Anila. She deserves it. Just happy her mom wasn't there, to be honest. So they're like rallying around her. And then Eugene is, well, maybe they're not even in the closet yet. They're inside.

47:31And Eugene comes in. He's like, you know, you don't have to talk to me, but Toya. And she's like, no, don't try to badass me now. Okay, because you were just out there being embarrassing to me. And he's like, what the fuck did you just say? Like, what do you mean? And she's like, don't fucking guss at me because you don't want me to guss at you. What I said to you is, hey, can you please be the leader and lead the men? And there's nothing wrong with that. You take that personal because you obviously don't feel like you are. I'm like, Toya, you were not like, could you please lead the men and help out with this game?

47:58No, Toya, you were being wretched. No, and that's not where it started. It started way before that when you were, like, yelling at him at the party for no reason and acting like an asshole. Yeah. I mean, she's just such an asshole in this situation. and now she's doing it again she's yelling now she's yelling at him in front of the guests again now they're just doing it inside and he's like but i mean listen the ladies next to you took it personal too and she goes oh fuck them bitches i don't give a fuck what they think they don't even have real fucking conversation with their husbands and they don't know how to be like you know how to be who they are unless they're not around their husband and you want to sit there and compare compare them to us i need to go fix my makeup i was like okay so not only is your husband a piece to shit but all your friends marriages suck yeah and this is somehow evidence of your of your relationship actually being the best so then scott's like yeah she just needs a minute to calm down and eugene's like yeah well i mean we're easy to get hot and you know me too and i'm not gonna say it's just it's not just her you know and scott's like you're easy to get hot like eugene eugene has like never lost his temper like massively and eugene's like yeah no i'm like really i'm like really easy to get hot guys like look like ha i'm angry see guys that was like so That was so hot right there.

49:07I was like so lost my temper, right? Like, mm-hmm. So then Steve is like, just a question, just asking to learn. Is that like normal or was that extreme for you guys? Like, do you guys fight like this all the time or? Yeah, and they're like, so are you trying to psychoanalyze this now? And so they start kind of laughing. And Mimi's like, listen, marriage is the most sanctification that you will experience. it shows you yourself well that's horrifying he just had to fight with toya don't tell him that yeah yeah wants to see himself in toya or toya and himself or whatever so he's like okay well i could have read the room better because she's super stressed about having no this is crazy yeah you did not read the room wrong toya is being an asshole and somebody needs to fucking tell her everybody in this house is just kissing toya's ass now now that all the girls go upstairs like no to you we're right no heavenly is the only person here who's like no that's not cool you shouldn't be yelling at your husband like that in front of everybody and it's right whether heavenly is an asshole most of the time or not this is fucking crazy of toy yeah i agree i i agree totally and um so king's so then king's like well i like the apology but an apology is with an attitude that's just like no apology at all and quad's like well if i feel like i've done something wrong i'll come back and i'll apologize but you don't apologize nicely you apologize with attitude i was like excuse me king what are you doing what are you doing sir you can sit down too this isn't even about you why do you need to insert yourself being an asshole and it's not even a king being an asshole king we're doing so well this episode like i was saying last year this shit everybody thinks is real cute with king is going to be done in i'm saying five years but probably less i mean this would get grading this guy just being a dick on purpose just to like be hilarious but he's not being hilarious he's saying what he really means he's like oh i'm just gonna tell all your friends now that you're a total asshole to me and you only apologize uh with attitude like what are you we already have toria okay be quiet we'll get to you later so toria's upstairs and she's like well I walked away because I was just starting to get to the fucking place, you know.

51:23And Cadessa's like, well, I came to check on you, boo. Because someone once asked, who's going to check me, boo? And it'll be me. And I'm going to check on you. And I was looking for you to teach us how to play that game, you know. And she's like, you and Scott? No, what I really want, I'm going to be nice and exclude one person. But I'm going to have my own personal conversation with them. She's like, oh, oh, so you're going to exclude Heavenly? And she's like, yeah, I want Heavenly and Mimi to get out. I want them to get out. And just as a reminder. that's two people yeah and the only thing that i can see that mimi did wrong here was sit on a napkin right so toya's like hey what's about and cadessa's like so you want me to go tell them you want me to be the bad guy i don't have a problem with that she's like yeah i don't like that shit don't do that like don't thank god don't egg in the arguments between me and my husband like that's not cool so now i feel like toya is going to try to create a narrative where they would have had a normal conversation but heavenly egged it on to become a bigger fight than it actually was which is not true whatsoever it's not true i mean all she said was don't you shouldn't talk to your husband like that and she was right you were being embarrassing so now she's going to make it all their fault you know so um quad's like well i love your beautiful tree it's like thank you but you know watching you gee did i like a tv show talking about like don't talk to him like that toya because you were making a scene and you're on a tv show you don't want people to act like an audience and stop making a scene girl literally on tv and contesta's like you're literally on tv yeah and she's like yes and contesta's like i don't need people telling me how to talk to my husband and tor is like yeah but you know like leader of the household lead the bed i mean where's the insult to that because you're saying that like he's not really you're because you didn't say it like you're saying he's not a man he's not a leader or a man if you're the man of the house be a man you're not even a man you can't even yeah and then you and then you were like, oh, now's the time that you want to be hard, implying that he's often very soft.

53:19He doesn't stiffen up in most situations. So Contessa's like, can you talk to Eugene and be nice? Because he's nothing but contrite right now. He's very apologetic. Yes, he really is so contrite. And Toya's like, well, he's always apologetic to other people. And God's like, no, he's going to apologize to you. You can do it. So Toya's like, okay, fine. So she goes downstairs. And she's like, hey. Toyahoo. They just had this conversation. They're like, just go make up with Eugene. She's like, okay, let's get back to a positive place. Sounds great, guys. Okay, now we can go back to a peaceful party.

53:54Sounds great. I'll be right back, guys. So she goes downstairs to hear Eugene out. And she goes, y 'all listening? Because we like to listen to all the negative shit. So for those of you who aren't my friends, who like to sit here and watch me and Eugene go back and forth and talk all that bullshit about what your relationship is like, about what your relationships are like when you're not. Please don't make me list all the shit that I know about all of you. Don't do that for me. Don't do it because I'm done with this bullshit. I'm managing my face. I literally just choked up. And Heavenly's like, what is she even mad about?

54:25And she's like, well, we just really fucked up because you know why? He was more concerned about what the fuck you hater bitches think. And that's what the fuck I was concerned about. Now she's screaming at the whole party and calling them all hater bitches. and heavenly's like uh are you looking at me she goes oh yeah i'm looking at you because you stood right motherfucking here it was you heavenly brandy mimi all you motherfuckers talked about us and heavenly's like uh i mean eugene knows the way you treat him it's like this is my motherfucking house and we motherfucking love each other we got kids upstairs so let's be clear because i'm not drunk at all i'm not drunk at all what i'm gonna not what i'm not gonna do is have you up your smile in my motherfucking face when you are i got my motherfucking back as far as my marriage oh okay and heavenly it's like oh everybody's got your back with your marriage we're your friends i mean everybody was saying the same shit i mean having your back in the marriage is telling you to stop like verbally abusing your husband in front of your friends yeah like that's shit behavior exactly crazy so angel's like yeah this is because angel's there by the way angel's like this baby this this energy is not good in your new house and brandy's like i I don't even remember what we said.

55:35Well, we've got to be mindful of each other's feelings. That's why one of the reasons why when you go to people's houses, you just got to be in your best behavior. Just hold your tongue real tight. Because if you say anything, they're going to put your ass out. That's it. So everyone's like, okay. Well, Quad would know. Quad has been put out of many a house on this show. She's like, take it from me. Say one thing in someone else's house, you're screwed. You want to fight with someone? Do it at a restaurant. Yep. so everyone's like uh well thanks eugene thanks for having us that's a fun party they're like bye bye so simone pulls yeah it's so awkward wow it just ends so it starts with toya screaming at her husband in front of everybody and ends with toya screaming at everybody oh yeah oh so simone is like okay toya tell me what's going on she's like i'm just tired of them tired of being judged Like our relationship is a little different from anyone else's.

56:29I'm over it. I'm tired of crying and every motherfucker. Can you please get me a napkin with my name on it, please? And so Simone is like, okay, well, you know, people deflect. And they deflect all to you because they don't want to deal with their own shit. She's like, you can't take that in. And basically Simone's like, I understand how she feels. But what I don't understand is why she's giving Heavenly all this power. Like, don't give her any ammunition. Of course Simone is going to turn this into Heavenly's thing too. She's going to be like, oh yeah, this is Heavenly's problem. Yeah, I don't understand why she gives Heavenly this power.

57:05How about tell her to stop yelling at her husband in front of the friends and then stop screaming at all of the friends at the party? You're just trying to use her against your own proxy war against Heavenly, which is crazy because Heavenly was just being really nice to you at that other event when you were leaning on her. She's a weirdo. So Heavenly's like, well, this house is beautiful. Thank y 'all so much daddy. Let's go toy. I never said anything bad by the way. She's like, yes, you did. No I didn't what did I say? And she's like, I sat there and I watched you heavenly because I said that that's how they love each other You know some people's love language is gifts And some people's love language is hangs and toys love language is just ripping her husband a new asshole in front of people

57:47You sarcastically do that shit on the regular she's like well it's a beautiful house and i thank you for it bye bye you've got my fake purse because i need it because like we can't get we can't get the door we can't get the door but she gets so mad just like your door your cantilever door whatever it was that could just so could that's was like i love a cantilever door whatever it was called so then they finally like get this door open and heavenly's like do we see anything negative about the marriage i mean he's like well that's the thing no we didn't but the thing is that she doesn't know that right now she can't receive anything from us because toyota's style of communication is very one-sided she likes to hear her own opinion and you just have to meet people where they are and she is just right there like nowhere so king tries to get heavenly to go back in and she's like no no no no no and damon's like here's the thing like eugene's my friend and toyota's cool with me so i'd rather leave and I'm not like, it's not hatred.

58:43It's just respect, you know? And she's like, well, bless this house. It's a beautiful house. It's a beautiful house. The bank is going to love taking this house back. They're going to love it. So then Brandy inside is like saying, it's never my intention to make you feel that way and especially if it created any issue with your marriage. So I apologize for that. If it made you feel that way, Contessa, because they're talking about her party. And Contessa's like, well, I don't know one marriage that people don't argue with. She's like, yeah, I'm sorry for real. And Quad's like, well, people fight in friendships.

59:14So you know that they fight in marriages. It just is what it is. Yeah, but then don't go around saying I'm your motherfucking friend. And then be like, why are you judging me behind my back, you know? And Jackie's like, well, I still have to say you're both wrong. She's like, don't start that, Willie. Okay, well, it's better than saying you're wrong, which is the truth. Jackie's like, okay, instead of saying I will have to say, I'll just say I enjoy saying that you're both wrong. That was fun. Let me do it again. Now, have you considered counting your calories as a couple? Simone's like, well, they had a beef even before she got here.

59:53It's like, yeah, it was not a beef about anything. I mean, Heavenly has a beef with everybody in the motherfucking room. What are you talking about? Heavenly has dogged your husband and Heavenly's talked about Jackie's husband. She's talked about her whole life and her ass and everything that you can think of and shit. And she fucks with anybody and you, Angel, you're going to be next. And then you're Brandi, you're next too. And, of course, I think we see a montage of heavenly talking shit about everyone on this cast for years and years and years. And, by the way, it's hilarious. Right, but that's not wrong.

1:00:23Like what she's saying isn't wrong, but it's also not the point. It has nothing to do with you. This was you. This was all you. This was all your fault. You made an ass out of yourself. And I thought there was like a glimmer of hope for her when she said, I feel like I failed myself today. I was like, oh, wow. Toya's going to take some responsibility. and then she goes because heavenly's a snake this just slip oh okay okay so it's all having trying to deflect it off typical typical and she says she's gonna keep slivering until you chop her head off it's like geez yeah don't chop heavenly's head off because she as usual is the most entertaining thing about this fucking show yeah that's right about this episode and every episode on this show she is hilarious and all she had to say was like four i know the entire show yeah it was wild it was a really really good episode well thanks everyone for yikes to you thanks everyone for being here and we will be back tomorrow with some below deck mediterranean so we'll catch you on the next one bye watch what crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors ain't no thing like alice and king it's always a party on alice and block our way is the amber way It's the Foster and the Furious.

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