#3133 Crappens Rewind: My Octopus Teacher on Netflix (Part 2)

0:21Hello and welcome to Watch What Crap Ends, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about this is part two of the recap. If you missed part one, go check out your podcast feed. It's right there. And without further ado, let's get right back into the recap. So day 134, named after my favorite highway in Los Angeles. And it's a week later. And she's healed quite fast. And guess what? Patty's grown a miniature arm. She has this little arm. I can't keep a good diva down. And you know that's happened in real life. You know that like during Anything Goes, like a toe fell off or something.

0:58It's like, don't worry, it'll be fixed by Tuesday. Literally Anything Goes. Anything grows. The octopus batting the phone music. And then of course, Craig has to make it all about himself. He goes, seeing her with her little nubby tentacle, I realized that I too was getting past difficulties. In a strange way, our lives were mirroring each other. You did not lose a limb, okay, while your friend watched, okay? Like, your thing is that, like, you said hi to your wife today for the first time in six months. It's not the saying. It's like my relationship with people, with humans, were changing. My son at this stage was fairly interested in everything under the water, so I put him down into the water, waited for his shock to bite one of his limbs off, and said, there, now we both know how Paddy feels.

1:53i like that he said his relationship with humans was changing and yet we really saw none of his relationship with humans except for his son swimming i mean that was nice his son swimming but like why don't you show us your wife or family i mean assuming he has a wife oh my god could you imagine we're saying all this stuff and his wife has like passed away or something i'll take it all back i hope not geez yeah maybe that's why he was so depressed actually okay what's his name let's look it up oh craig such a craig foster i think it's craig foster Australian retired soccer player octopus Craig Foster octopus Craig octopus wife we're doing like an emergency like okay is he married there's an actual article that says from the Cinemaholic Craig Foster everything we know okay where's he from he's from South Africa yes what does he do okay yes yes yes where's his wife I don't see it yet where is he now his wife swati the garage garage on okay good and he's oh he lives in a pristine hillside overlooking false bay of course he lives in false bay what's false bay i don't know but that's where he lives they have a when i looked up her name there's a little video and from far away it's a very small picture of her but she has a padma vibe she's very beautiful smala okay now i have to look where false bay is false bay oh yeah there she is a body of water in the atlantic ocean between the mountainous oh so this was the house that we know that's all right no no you're looking at the wrong craig foster that's not oh wait no craig foster wife swati yeah swati oh my god gorgeous see okay so here's the thing with craig now that we know he has a gorgeous wife of course he's the guy who's like good looking has a gorgeous wife has a gorgeous house has everything perfect he's like but something's missing it's like craig look around you've got everything yeah she's a famous author, too.

3:47Wow. Okay, I'm so glad she's alive, so we can continue on. Me, too. You really scared me. I was like, we're gonna have to re-record this? I can't go through the emotions again. Well, guess what? Day 250, the octopus's confidence is back. She's back, baby! Limited engagement on Broadway, my name and the big lights, because I'm back and I'm going for the Tony. Finally, 180 days later, my arm is re-grown. Hmm? So violins are playing and he's like, it's amazing to think this animal is capable of that. Withstanding that type of attack and fully recovering. And I'm so happy because I thought this was it for her.

4:27You know, I was like, this is over. I was already crying. I was ready to just be done with this whole thing. But she's back. She's got a second chance, baby. She's got a second wind and Craig is busy appropriating her pain. When I lost my limb during that shock attack, I didn't think there was another chapter for me. Like, no, it wasn't you, Craig. You did not lose the limb. So she goes back to normal, and she's slinking on a rock, and he's like, it was a nice, calm, clear day. There's crabs chilling. And she comes around the corner, and she sees a crab. Yeah, it's basically between Eversol. From Warpaint.

5:03It's Patty versus Christine. She's basically like, I'm not. She's like, uh-uh. No. No, no, no. I'm the one here. I'm going to win this. Yeah. And she's like, the problem. He says, the problem when you're a crab. did we see that musical together war paint no you saw it no you just saw it by yourself and told me about it oh so good i mean not really but it was cool to see them um but he's like the problem when you're a crab you're now being hunted by a liquid animal she could pull herself through a tiny crack i know the feeling of being hunted by a liquid animal i'm like no you don't you don't know the feeling and craig can you just okay just just grab the crab and give it to her like this is they're spending so much energy so this crab this crab thinks it's got it all figured out I kind of felt bad for this crab mainly because it was about to die but also like I don't know sometimes I mean I find crabs to be hilarious because they're they're like basically the Bethany Frankels of the sea right like so what's the matter what's happening what's going on just hanging out here okay you know what you gotta do okay just get away from me okay you're a liquid animal okay how about you eat other liquid okay because I'm a crab okay let me just okay I'm just gonna I'm gonna jump off this ledge okay I can't I literally I can't and the crab Now, I was wondering, why am I feeling for the octopus?

6:15And now I'm never going to eat an octopus again, but I'm not feeling for the crab. Is it because I think the crab is dumber than the octopus? And so, yeah, the crab is crabby, I guess. But the crab, it's kind of a cute scene, even though, you know, it's going to end in death. And I was like, this is sick that I'm thinking this is cute. But anyway, the crab is knows that she's coming for it. Right. She can't really see it because it's so good at hiding itself and turning into rocks. I mean, the whole time it's changing different things. It's so cool. terrifying for the crab i know but the crabs just knows that it's there it senses it right so it starts hiding and then it you know it waits and then it hides and then it just waits and then it hides under like the c version of mrs roper

7:00stanley is there a crab under me yeah um hey stanley i finally got crabs it's like oh gross like mrs roper making old gross sex jokes it's this big red sea enemy is it enemy enemy and how do you say it enemy whatever it is i don't I wrote Poisonous Enemy, but I was like, wow, why would they name that thing an enemy? It's like the most gorgeous pink, you know, frilly dress, frumpy, like moo-moo. Yeah, it is. No, but it's spelled, I think, A-N-E-M-O-N-E. I think it's anemone. And it's, you know, it's like clownfish hang out in them. Like, hmm, if you want to get me, you'll have to deal with Mrs.

7:40Roper first. So the crab is like under it. And then, so Patty's like, fine, I'll wait. I can always wait. Okay, this show's not starting without me. so she just waits and the crab this is where the crab is not very bethany because bethany would never fall for this shit maybe now that's me smarter for sure yeah i don't know maybe it's not bethany it just it has a bethany vibe but maybe it's i don't know what would be a more accurate bravo star for this for this crap maybe kristin from or like a raquel it's kind of a raquel i guess i'm gonna hide in a dress it's like you're wearing a dress no the crab is lindsey from Summer House.

8:17You do not want to see me activate it. I'm going to pinch you. Oh my god. And then hides and is like I'm literally in a new hiding space and this is awesome but then someone tells her that there's a cocktail special at Hampton Social or whatever it was. She's like, oh my god, I've got to leave Mrs. Robert to go out and find the cocktail special. I'm going to hide in the show. Like, oh. That's your body. So it thinks everything's okay. here's there's a uh event at hampton social and comes out and um dumb ass i mean god dumb dumb so dumb crap the close you see the close-up of the arm and it starts to kind of envelop the the crab and you should be yelling run crab run but i'm like i can still eat crabs they're idiots yeah patty's like give me that and she's like tries to grab it and so then this crab just is like then the crab just like skitters away somehow and then it just like careens off of a off of like a sea cliff and then it's just like floating and just like it's a full-on like lindsey like do not activate me straight to the rosacea yeah just like floating through the water yeah dropping like a slow motion diehard it's like that's it i'm going off this building and then it just like drops you're like it's the water how fast can you drop you're a crab and also crabs are there it's not fair what God did to crabs.

9:38I feel like God was like, ha ha, you're gonna get eaten. I'll give you a shell, but you're never gonna walk straight. So, for one thing, you can only see side to side. Yeah, and like, everyone can get through your shell, too, by the way. Your shell is just like a fake defense because like, everyone gets through crab shells. Like, every animal has figured out a way to get through crab shells. Don't worry, your shell's gonna be super hard unless it's wet.

10:05enjoyed looking delicious too by the way oh gosh so yeah so it drops and then um we see a close-up on the crab's eye like oh fuck fuck me and then the octopus jumps on top of it and spreads out and just like like envelops it you know and then takes it back to the rock and then craig being so like judgy to his friend is like well she's not a very clean eater like just let her eat her food okay so then so she of course she does have like food everywhere and and like this crab is like everywhere so then all these like creepy ass i think they were called brittle stars they approach out of nowhere they're like they look those look like aliens they're like these little black squares but they have like those four arms they just like it seems like they don't have eyes or mouth whatever they are they come out of nowhere and they're like starfish they're like they're like starfish in the movie alien you know yes they look they're black they're terrifying and and she just tips one over like she flings one over on its back and it really does look like a starfish but they're just like the creepiest scariest version of starfish yeah they were terrible i hated them they just kept coming and i was like please stop and uh she's just like you know she's like get out get out this dressing room is for friends and family only get out get out especially if you're glenn fucking close so she says she's gonna have this problem of brittle stars taking all of her food and not that long in the future she thought there's brittle stars coming after her and then i realized she has this talent of picking them up with her suckers and throwing them out of the den.

11:49Now she's the boss. And I was like, yes, girl! But also, like, she literally has eight arms. Like, what did he expect her to do? Like, she does, like, literally the simplest thing. She takes an arm and bats them away, of course. They're like, they basically are like, they basically look like Oreos. Oreos with legs. Like, they're not gonna have a huge amount of defense. But it is funny how she does it. Like, she suckers one, she suckers one with just, like, one sucker and just flips it on its back and it's like, hey, wait a minute! God damn it! And now where are the sharks? Why don't the sharks eat the brittle, the brittle stars?

12:21Cause like something should eat them. I don't want them around. I don't know. They really show you in this, that there is like the order, you know, the order of the food chain and how everything has something to eat or whatever. It's so terrible. I would hate to be like, like in, I don't want to be in the food chain like that. You know, like to think that like your entire life is basically like, like, am I going to be eaten by something else today? Like that's a terrible way to live. Yeah. Yeah, well, I guess I think humans are probably going to end up getting eaten one day. Like aliens are going to come down and be like, oh, Ronnie looks delicious.

12:54He's been seasoned with cheese, tomato sauce and carbs for 40 years. Get him. Pretty much. So so now Patty decides now that she's like all cocky because she got a crab. Now she wants to go for a lobster and she's like not very good catching lobsters. She keeps on trying to do crab techniques on lobsters. but you know those are two different kind of you know beasts and so she keeps on like whiffing she keeps on like sort of like trying to do like almost like a big like surprise i'm hugging you but like the lobster's like i'm out of here like every single time yeah she like tries to do the embrace thing yeah where she's like sneaking up but the lobster and lobsters aren't that bright either like they swim backwards i never knew that did you well i read i recently read a book called the secret life of lobsters so i actually know way more about lobsters than i ever thought i would Like, did you know that they pee out of their eyeballs?

13:44How about that? Oh, like Michael from Real Housewives of Potomac. Yeah, they know they do like if they do like shoot backwards like that. And I used to know, like, if you asked me about two months ago, I could give you every single fact about a lobster. But now now they've already started to fade. It's like there it's like an enemy's coming and they're depressing reverse, you know, and you just yeah, movies where they're going down the freeway all in reverse speeding away. um also they're not the cutest animals which i don't know if that makes me feel better and well well that that lobster was like that was a like a spiny lobster so it didn't have the big claws when you have the big claws they become a lot cuter oh okay you know when it's just like body and and tail it's kind of they look a little ridiculous so then he starts noticing all the animals that she's capturing and he's like well how is she killing them and eating them you know Because let's face it, she's not the most graceful.

14:40She's got eight arms. So then he says that at the base of all of her arms, there's a drill. And it can drill through the shell. And it drops poison into the shells to see how they react. So she has to test different ways to get into that shell and find just the right spot to drop the poison into. Because it'll only relax if it's right in the apex of the shell. And he's like, the geometry that she does to drill the precise spot to get her food. It's very high level. But still pretty much a lower primate. Let's not cross that line, right? She will never have the right to vote. That much, I can tell you.

15:20But great with geometry. Yeah, he's like, she's teaching me so much. And we just see him with shells. He's like learning about shells. He's like saying, oh, there's a hole in that shell. Okay, I've learned. Like Wikipedia could do the same thing. That's pretty badass, though. I mean, of course I don't know that much, so I'm impressed by everything. But I was like, oh, I guess you do see those shells at the ocean that have a little hole drilled in there. It's like, how did that happen? Who drilled a hole in it? Well, was that hole from the drill, or was that hole... She drilled that hole, right?

15:51She drilled it, yeah. She drills it, and then she drops poison in, and then the animal opens up and comes out of the shell so she can eat it. Yeah, exactly. Also, I like that we saw... There was a cutaway shot, too. It looked like a sea slug that was wearing a yarmulke, and I was like, I love that my people are being represented in the kelp forest. It's like a slug with a yarmulke. Literally a slug with a yarmulke. So on his board, he's like, now I know how the helmet shell is connected to the octopus, and I know how all these lines and dots are connecting with all the animals of the ocean. And then we see some more amazing footage with the unsung hero of this film, the jellyfish.

16:30I mean, wow. Jellyfish is not getting any credit. Jellyfish are just floating around, looking beautiful. They are. They're stunningly gorgeous. Okay, so like the forest mind, I could feel it. That big creature. It was a thousand times more awake and intelligent. This giant underwater brain developing for millions of years, keeping everything in balance. And everything was perfect in the forest. And then horror music, of course. It's a shark. by the way everything was imbalanced while you showed up craig let's not forget you're the one who was the outsider here with your camera balanced tipper it's time for a commercial it's time for a crappin's commercial

17:20so here comes the sharks okay so scary ass sharks i don't like it the shark looks bigger than it ever has it's just so big and so now there's like this really harrowing shark sequence that really stressed me out the entire time i'm not gonna lie i was very stressed during all this it was really really stressful because you kind of know what's coming right and um he's looks just so sad i mean he's about to jump off the rock he lives on yeah so like this is so depressed and and he's blinking back tears the whole time. So he swims down, and there's horn music, and he's like, I have this burnt in my memory of this shark just suddenly approaching.

18:01She kept still and tried to hide, and he just saw the shark swimming on the periphery, picking up a scent. And I thought, oh no, this nightmare is happening all over again. And then a chase begins. So now it's like, the shark is chasing the octopus and everything, and then like she's like she just like finds some kelp and she's like latches onto it and she's like i'm getting back into my fur because she's like whenever she gets finds like a leaf she just gets so glamorous and she rolls herself up and she hides and the shark is like she's like looking out from the kelp like is he there is he there are the critics here still is that so so the shark is like swimming around smelling her and like biting off pieces of kelp really aggressively i was like that's not cool that was like like can you just like eat a little more politely like with your violent bites of kelp no reason not to have manners yeah seriously so it's dumb you know and it's only going off smell so yes it's but it's snapping at all the kelp and this guy also again has balls of steel following this because it's like he's right there the whole time i mean he gets such amazing footage and he holds his breath for such a long time i know and i'm but i'm also like she's probably like um yo could you like get away from me i'm trying to hide like this camera right here like this is pretty much tipping off the shark where i am could you just like go get out of my kelp yeah true but she also hides and so it's like there's so many rocks girl and you're hiding like it's like patty the okay patty someone's coming it's like all right i'll be a showgirl like well like that's not helping all right i'll be a attack dancing showgirl how about this boy no go to your escape go no go to your panic room all right give me a fur and a bow and a top hat.

19:44We're going to do this the proper way. No, just get to your panic room. She's doing like Busby Berkeley down there. So she shoots, she finally, the shark is going to get her, right? Because she's in this fabulous outfit. So she shoots out of the outfit and blows ink out. And then she is running so hard. She's like, fuck it. I'm going to where the guy came from. So she climbs out of the water onto a rock and he follows her right up onto the rock and he's like, I'm amazed. I almost can't believe my eyes. But then the problem is of course, she's gotta go back. And so she Oh god, this is heart-wrenching.

20:22So she jumps back in and the shark picks up her scent again and then another crazy chase is on. She runs like hell and then she sinks back into a rock and the shark keeps coming and coming at her and coming at her. yeah and at this point again i'm like craig at what point are you like you've already like you got to step in here craig i mean you already gave her a muscle so you've already crossed the line so it's fine just just get rid of that shark because this is your friend here and this is this is going on way too long it's over enough enough yeah it's too much dude so then um he's like and then oh so then she goes oh go ahead what are you saying no i'm just laughing because i know where this is heading and basically she she finds a bunch of shells she has like a moment of freedom so she finds a bunch of shells and she wraps herself up in the shells just like before and craig has like the most obvious realization and he's like and that's when i realized when she surrounded herself with shells she was doing it to protect herself i'm like yeah do you know what shells are for they're not only for accessories i know but she does it so fabulously it's so cool because she's got like thousands of suckers on her.

21:33And she just grabs individual shelves from all over and puts together this amazing outfit. I mean, she just looks gorgeous. It's like Molly Ringwald in Pretty in Pink how she sews her own prom dress, you know? It's like, oh my God, she's so talented. But this thing does it in two seconds. I love the pockets. I love the silhouette. I love it. Nina Garcia's just... The only thing I don't like about this outfit is the death.

22:01so yeah she's like crazy little piece of art you know this like beautiful shell ball the shell bowling ball and the shark doesn't the shark doesn't notice her at first but then obviously he smells probably the old spice covering her and it comes and it grabs her and then i'm losing my fucking mind at this yeah it is like because so patty like patty is a ball of shells and the Octopus has her in his mouth, and it's just like shaking, shaking, shaking, shaking, just trying to get her to relent. And the shark is doing whatever he can. And then, of course, Craig's like, but I have to breathe. So he goes up, and he takes a breath.

22:39And then when he comes back down again, Patty has done the most Patty LaPone thing of all time, which is, for some reason, somehow, we will never know how, she is now on top of the shark just riding it like a horse. still all in her shells she's fucking amazing this chick okay i guess she reached up somehow and stuck herself onto his back and pulled herself up there and confused the hell out of him because he can't move to catch her back there and so it's like this beautiful little jeweled shell bowling ball riding a shark it's like this weird thing of like wait what there's an octopus riding a shark and she's just like here i am boys i told you anything goes

23:22oh my god and then so the shark is like

23:35this is when jill's aaron gets fired off the housewives just like what huh what huh sorry jill's aaron the audience just thought you were too negative this time sorry you're a shark and then you end up with an octopus on your back it just doesn't work with your brand we're gonna have to demote you so she's swimming and the shark doesn't know how to get her and he goes the shark had just been completely outwitted and then the shark just swims so dumbly i mean you just it's like so dumb they just lost macaulay culkin again you know it's like they had him cornered and they firebombed the wrong house or this shark i i hope that this shark was actually just like banished from that that like weird shark sex cave because like they probably were all watching like are seriously like this really like this like do you see yourself you have the art it's on your back it's on your back you are ashamed to all of us sharks and you were banished go out to find another kelp forest well maybe that's why they were biting him in the beginning you know because all of the stuff starts to circle back and in the beginning we saw the sharks fighting with each other and maybe they were just like you idiot you either get an octopus so you're out of this family.

24:43And that's been his arc the entire time. We told you to get a job. We told you to get a job, earn your own money, and make a decent name for yourself. What are you doing? You're riding around with an octopus on your back?

24:56So she finally gets off of him because he's so dumb. She sees a rock and pushes herself off of him and slinks into this rock. And Craig is just so impressed. Everyone's impressed. I'm like cheering in my house and then they do a close, he does a close up on her face and it's so awesome. Like she's just peeking out from this rock and she squints her eyes like, yes, fucked with the wrong octopus. Yeah. Not only did I win, but I humiliated you, you stupid shark. That was on film, moron.

25:37You'll always have to live with that. I don't know what's going to happen with me going forward, but you will always have to live with that. So, so, so he starts saying that he suspects that he was around for about 80 % of her life, which, you know, you now know, like, uh-oh, things are wrapping up here. And then we have this, it's like, it's, there's a school of fish that have come by and there's all these fish and Patty just has all her arms up and she's just like slapping at the fish like, hello, hello. Oh, I love when all my fans come to see me. Hello. Who wants an autograph? I'm very approachable, despite what the articles say about me.

26:13Look at me. I'm heavy here. So here's my arm. Here's an arm. Here's an arm. I'm not getting in that limo until everybody has a signature on a ticket. Pass over the playbill, honey. Yeah, she's signing all these. And the fish are kind of, it looks like the fish are playing with her because they keep coming over in their school and then like sitting right above her. And then she snatches at all of them and then they run, but then they come right back. and then she chases them. I think the fish are dumb. I think the fish are just have no idea what's going on. They're like, oh shit, we gotta get out of here.

26:42Wait a second, what if we go back there, though? She's like, oh, the dumb fish are back. I love playing with these idiots. We were getting swatted at, but now we're not getting swatted at. Maybe if we go back to the place that we got swatted at, we won't get swatted at anymore. Maybe next time we won't get swatted at. Get out of here, Patty. Get out of here, Liza. This is my thing. This is my Kelp Fire. There's only room for one diva in this place. Swat, swat, swat. So I thought she was playing with the... It looks totally like animals playing together. Well, I mean, you know. It looks like dogs playing with whatever.

27:22Fish. I can't make a comparison, really. He's like, well, I was like, hold on. When she hunts, she's strategic and focused. This behavior doesn't feel predatory. she's playing with them yeah and and she's it's like this anti-social animal playing with fish and then um and then when she's done playing she sees craig and she like swims up to him and then cuddles up on his body and it's like just so cute she's like my friend who doesn't save me around sharks but still like i've just come to accept that about him and you can't change people and i've accepted him for who he is and i really like him he's a terrible protector but he's got soft skin so I'm going to cuddle on him.

28:03So they cuddle and then he goes and that was the last time we had physical contact. I was like no! I know. And then he's about to cry and then day 324, a storm's coming and the waters are all rough and there's sentiment everywhere and there's sentiment everywhere and he goes down and horror movie there's another big octopus right next to her

28:36it's very rare to see two octopus close together oh my god where the hell did this guy come from what's going on uh i hate to break it to you uh craig but certain things happen when when uh when a man octopus and a lady octopus have feelings for each other yeah but octopus are such men you know it's like i'm gonna i'm gonna come here lay and get out of here have fun raising off five million children i know he lays next to her and he's like all right they're boning i guess and and one of them has their octopus arm sticking straight up which was hilarious like a boner and i don't know if it was like touching the camera or what it was but did you notice that i did uh at that point i was like now craig knows what it's like to be a gay man okay because when your straight friends have babies and then you never see them again okay that's what you just got the experience congratulations the last time she had dinner with me the last time we had she had a baby then she got a baby this is what it is people i'm just breaking the news to you you may not you may not like it but this is the truth.

29:50By this stage, I knew quite well the stages of an octopus's life, so while I was excited to see the mating, I mean, who wouldn't be? Bono Town. There was a dread in the bottom of my stomach. She wasn't coming out of that den. There was no more feeding, no more game night, no more films at the Arclight. How did... I have a question, though. How did Tony Shalhoub find her? Because, like, it seemed like she was the only octopus in town. He must have just been like, it must be something like when the guy is ready to do it, he just starts like trolling, you know, kelp forest or something like that.

30:25You know it was those idiot gossipy fish that were like, what, when you slut, get off the street, slut. Huh, look at the lady slut walking down the street like a lady. This lady's slapping at us. Yeah, they're like, hey, octopus stud, you looking for that slut? She's probably into that rock over there looking like a bowling ball or something. Slut. Stupid slut hanging out with humans. Why don't you show what a real octopus is like? Yeah, they were like the busybody townspeople. They have like bandanas in their hair. Chewing gum. Yeah. Yeah, but that slut down by the corner of the cat fire, she's hanging out with a human.

31:00Yeah, why don't you be a real octopus and show what a real octopus does? How about that, huh? Yeah. Hide your husbands, ladies. It's like dying right off. Yeah. All of them. So he's like, I just keep going back every day to check. And she's oxygenating her eggs with her siphon. She's slowing her death and timing her death for the hatching of those eggs. And it struck home so hard of me. Here's an invertebrate, a mollusk, sacrificing her life for her young. Reminds me so much of myself. Like how I almost sacrificed my life. Really only for myself, actually. Yeah, it was just for myself. It was just for myself.

31:38I have an entire family and I could have died many, many times out here just for the sake of an octopus and left them in the lurch. but it did remind me of me in some sort of way. So then the eggs hatch, and they're these tiny, invisible, like they're see-through little tiny things, and they go into the water column. And she's not eating. She's not eating at all, by the way. Right, she's like Jessica Tandy, end of cocoon. Like, totally, full on. And so they all hatch. She's spent all her energy doing this. Again, like, Mark, where's your muscle now? Like, maybe she wants to eat something. because like she can't afford to leave and because they'd be vulnerable so she just has to like chill there and not feed and not hunt and it's like bring her a muscle maybe she wants to be there for her kids okay no it's time to die it's just how it works out so she's starting to die basically and then of course the asshole townspeople come out and just start eating her yeah because she's sort of like she sort of like tumbles out of the den she's so weak she'd like the water i think just sort of like washes her out of the den.

32:40So now she's just like out there on the sidewalk, like in her bathrobe. Yeah. Hey, I used to be on Broadway, you know? Yeah, she's all white and she's dying. It's so sad. So of course I'm crying, you know, I'm crying at this part. Yeah, brittle stars. And then these fucking starfish things. Get away from her. Give her some privacy. Monsters. They just start pulling on her leg, just ripping her apart, eating her alive. Really, really. I can't stand them. Kill them all. This is why when people are like, why do you want to live in the middle of nowhere? Don't you want to live in a community? No, this is why.

33:15This is what they do to you. They see you out there at your worst, and what do they do? They fucking eat you. Yeah, they fucking eat you, stupid brittle stars. And then, of course, I'm surprised it took this long. This shows how stupid those pajama sharks are, because she's just laying out there vulnerable for like two days. And then finally a shark just comes and is like, all right, I'm taking this, and just comes and eats her. I was actually almost happy at that point because I was like, can we put her out of her misery? Yeah. From these fucking brittle stars and those random ass, like, dine a man off fish.

33:44Just, like, get her out of there. So, Jill Zarin just comes in one soup, just takes it in her mouth and just goes. I don't know why it took two days for that shark to find literally free food. Like, a big old piece of free food. Because it's the dumbest shark ever. Dumbest shark. And then it took it home. It was like, I finally did it. And I'm like, congrats, Theodore. You got a dead one. Yeah, you found your hat. Congratulations. Yeah. god it was it was sad so craig starts to choke up and this is when i started i started to choke up now also i was like damn it i can't believe i'm choking up but he's like looking out and he's like he's like sometimes i float above her den i miss her i was like oh i miss her too oh my god and he's like i mean in some way it was a relief because the intensity of going every day tracking her trying to capture footage it was tough in a way i just i slept i dreamt this animal the other night i was in a deep sleep and i woke myself up because apparently i was singing

34:45his wife is like yeah was that tough for you uh going to check that octopus every day yeah you know what i was doing everything in the house right when while you were gone every single thing yeah that was tough for me too oh so yeah this was so sad but then we see two sets of feet now walking along the beach and he's with his son and his son is now older his son has grown up a lot and he's teaching his son how to do it and his son is like very natural in the freezing ass water and I'm sure the mother loves that too like I'm taking I'm taking our son into freezing water kiss your mother it might be the last time.

35:25He is developing a gentleness from nature because nature is so gentle like when that shark destroyed patty yeah don't worry if he doesn't make it i'll i'll ask the brittle fish to eat him so then the son finds like this tiny little octopus a little baby octopus and uh he's starting to imagine that it might be one of her young because it's like rather the size that it should be and it's in the area i mean i'm fully convinced it's it's patty's daughter like yes it's like a little baby patty a little baby patty and um you know it's like exciting and now there's just like swimming and there's like seals there's like seals hanging around you know which is fun there's like a sea otter i think at one point well so cute and then we see all the babies of the forest because i guess they're showing us the circle the circle of life or the cycle of life that yeah you know things go they leave the they lead these really violent scary lives where they're always protecting themselves from each other basically but then they're always being constantly being reborn you know yeah and so they show like a little baby otter and even a little baby shark we get to see born there's like a cuttlefish there was like he was like he was like chilling with a cuttlefish which is like not the same as an octopus for sure but i guess it's it's like okay which one was that was that the one that's half fish and half octopus where it has like fingery that was a funny one i like that one it's like okay like i i appreciate you cuttlefish but you're like you're not quite a squid you're not quite an octopus you're just you're not the same i just like it's just i'm sorry i don't want to feel i was like who makes they probably all make fun of the coddle fish because it's such a dumb looking little thing but he's being nice to it and then it's really cute because he's actually friends with the fish like the fish come up to him and then yeah he's holding one in his hands in the water and petting it yeah it was so cute and i We see a flashback of Patty touching him on his mask, which is so sweet.

37:28Patty, she's so inquisitive. And he realizes that you're a part of this space. You're not a visitor. You're part of this space. I am Amphibious! And he has now actually developed a group of people who dive with him and chicken on the kelp forest. Yeah, they all go on a group into the water. And one of the last shots is a shot of Patty when she's had a long day of play with her friend, and she's back in her little nest, and it does a close-up on her eyes, squinting happily and then closing like a little doggy taking a nap. I mean, this was the best fucking thing I've ever seen. I love this. I was crying.

38:12I'm going to watch it probably a million times. I think we should make it a musical. It was just great. We should. Well, it was great. And this bonus is actually longer than the movie itself. Yeah. But there was a lot to take in and a lot to discuss. This was really, it turns out that we can do, it was actually really not that hard to recap this as a nature documentary. It was actually pretty easy. This was fucking beautiful to watch. It was really great to talk about. It was longer than the film. I guess that's normal for us. But thank you for being a part of this two-parter, everybody. Thanks for listening to us.

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