#3145 Below Deck Med S10E15 Part 1: F Boy Cryland

0:20Well, hello and welcome to Watch What Crabins. I'm Ronnie and that's Ben over there. Hello, Ben. Hi, Ronnie. How's it going? Good morning. Yeah. What are you doing? I was like, wow, that's quite an assumption. No, it is a good morning. How's it going with you? It's going well. I'm going to have to rearrange some shelves in my refrigerator because I'm afraid that a recent rearrangement put my eggs too close to a cold spot in the fridge. That's causing them all to crack in the curtain. And it's very frustrating. So that's the sort of day I'm having. What's going on with you? You're freezing your eggs or what?

1:03Yeah, there's like a cold spot. I think it's like the airflow is not good in this fridge. And so the eggs, I don't know what's going on with this fridge. You know what? That's what I've got to say. It's all janky at the moment. It's too cold for its own good. Eggs keep on breaking because they're freezing over. Despite the fact that I raised the temperature. I'm just, you know, I'm not having it. I'm not having it with this refrigerator anymore. Well, I wish you the best with that one. Thank you. Speaking of cracked eggs, Blow Deck Mediterranean, everybody. First of all, we moved to a new network.

1:38We're on Acast now. So some of you might be wondering what happened to the ad-free feed, which was on Wondery. We're going to move that over to Patreon, but it's going to take us a couple of weeks to get it settled. But that will be on Patreon. You'll be able to subscribe to Patreon and then put the RSS in whatever podcast feed you like. Patreon is also where you get our bonus episodes. This week, we're going to start talking about traders, which comes back this week. And it's also where you get videos of these episodes, Crappins On Demand, which we're on right now, everybody. So go over to Patreon for that stuff.

2:14And today is Below Deck Mediterranean. Now, we were on vacation last week during that episode of Below Deck. and we're not going to do full coverage. We'll just tell you what happened. Basically, we didn't find out who shit in the shower and shoved it down the train, which was a rip-off. We all know who did it. We all know who did it. We all know who did it. He knows who did it. But I don't like mystery shows that end like that, that it's like, well, it's up to you guys. No, don't make it this whole big thing and this whole big plot, and it's all over social media. There's news stories about it, for Christ's sake, okay?

2:49It is in the news. It's like Venezuela. Who's shitting the toilet? I mean, who's shitting the shower? That's what's in the news. And then you just say, that's it? No. I need more from you. Bravo. Below deck. Bravo knows. There's cameras all over that boat. They know who went in at what time. It's not, this is not a mystery. They are protecting the guests for whatever reason. I don't know why they decided to protect the guests. I don't know. Are they afraid of being sued for documenting that someone went into the shower and shat in the drain? I don't know why they're protecting anyone on this. why are they i don't either start protecting poopers okay and also we've been getting a lot of dms and messages from people who work in hospitality in all kinds of places vegas i don't know just lots of places i don't need to go through every individual email but lots of stories of people doing this just pooping down like shoving poop down drains and i just have to say humanity stop it just stop it enough already toilet poop in the toilet and if you poop in the shower pick it up with your hands and put it in the toilet and then wash your hands in the shower and stop being disgusting exactly because you're already sullying one appendage by jamming it down the drain with your foot so like i don't know how it's any different than doing it with your hand instead and putting it into the toilet like don't be ridiculous like yeah like try not to be like a barbarian especially if you're on a yacht right so we didn't know who shit the drain, but we do know who shit the bed and that was Joe.

4:21What a loser. What a fucking loser. By the way, this was... Well, he's a piece of shit, but by the way, the post-production just must have had so much fun doing this episode. For such a sad episode. It was a very sad episode. This was V coming back on her birthday and she wants to celebrate the death of her boyfriend, this guy, Bon, who she really loved, who drowned. And the way they just keep cutting back to Joe crying, crying. He's not crying because Bon died. He's not crying because he feels bad for Victoria. He's just crying because he feels like the piece of shit that's in the shower drain.

5:03Because for one night, he couldn't just keep it together. And, you know, out of respect for V and her birthday and her boyfriend dying. He just couldn't even do that. So he's crying for himself and crying because he knows he looks like a shit on TV. I don't even think he feels bad about doing it. I think he just feels bad that it was caught on camera. Right, because he was coming back with his Bravo, like, I'm Joe Bradley 2.0, and trying to pretend like he was a different person and blew it, you know? So he knew he was going to be getting mean comments on Twitter or whatever, on Instagram. And so he sobbed and sobbed and sobbed and also sobbing like that during someone else's like funeral or memorial services.

5:48Just so gross. Like, wow. You're such a gross person, Joe. Exactly. And meanwhile, you know, V is crying because this is a terrible anniversary. And you also have Kathy who just found out that her stepfather died like the night before. And she is a wreck, a full wreck. and Joe's going to cry like Joe's going to act like he's the the biggest um you know victim of something terrible happening to him and you know you know this was he was crying about himself and not for V because spoiler alert to this episode when V ultimately breaks up with him not a tear a shed he is not crying over the dissolution of that relationship he is not crying that like she doesn't want him anymore he's not moping around there's like not one sense not not one not one shred of remorse and there's not one instance of sadness but when he is but in the last episode it's nothing but that because it's not about being the last episode it's about his self-image he's such garbage garbage person yeah garbage human so uh gross so we pick up in this episode And also that whole episode, I mean, that whole bond thing was really sad.

6:56I don't know the whole, like, the whole thing of like, my boyfriend died. So I'm going to cry on Instagram. Like, that's so weird to me that people do that. But I guess that's just modern times, huh? It's just like, I'm crying. Like, hey, guys. Like, there were scenes of her being like, hey, guys, it's me. I'm going to feel things today. And then she would go back on Instagram and be like, hey, guys, it's me. I'm crying. I'm crying, guys. Like, who does that? Why are you doing that? Stop doing that. I always think it's weird. Just everybody stop. Cause I know that people do that now, but that's like shitting in the drain.

7:28Just stop doing it. Like close the door. Well, I think it's really weird when people go to funerals and then they take selfies at the funeral or they take like a picture with people. They're like, look at us crying. And you're like, why are you? But you're like, you're using this as social media content. You know, I don't, I don't know. It just seems like a weird thing to advertise, you know and people do it all the time. And, you know, they'll be standing there or sometimes they'll even be smiling like, hey, and you're like, you're at a funeral. What's wrong with you? But you know what? I think I will say that if someone is like crying on Instagram, you know, over someone who passed, you know, if this is their way of eulogizing them, like, that's fine to me.

8:08But but I think that people's behaviors with social media and funerals are really strange. I'm not going to lie. Like, that's just not where I'm trying to do a selfie or not try to be like, here's my outfit of the day or or like, look at us. Look at us. I'm also like not trying to like advertise how sad I am. Meaning that like, like, look, look at me mourning. I'm like, it's one thing to get on social media and be express sadness for a person and pay tribute. But like, here's a picture of me standing in a suit at the cemetery. Like, why are you doing that? I don't know. I don't know. So yeah, it's weird to me.

8:45Like put social media. I don't want that on my social media, you know? Or people's gym selfies. But you know, we could be here all day with that. But constant, like I know this guy on Facebook who every day is putting himself shirtless on there. Like we see, you know what I mean? We see congratulations on your protein, bro. Like congrats on your macros, okay? So I guess that's my request for the world. I have three requests for the new year for people. Don't shit in drains and leave it there. don't take off your shirt every day for no reason and talk about your macros and also stop sobbing. All of those things on social media, please.

9:23I guess the shit in the drain wasn't social media. So that was a little off, but to me, that's equal as to just sobbing on social media. I don't want to see it. They're all things that I don't want to see on social media. So please stop it. My, my wish is still the same. It's pretty much all of what you said. Plus I don't need to see your baby. next to a little chalkboard that says how many weeks old they are sorry i just don't need to see it i don't okay so poop and drains give me an shirtless macros uh sobbing about dead people and your fucking baby and how many days old it is we don't we don't care about any of those things you know what just stop using social media everybody just go but everybody buy a kindle and just do that.

10:12I care about the one year. I care about the 18 months. I care about annual things. Here's where I will be okay with it. If you do take that picture because you want to chart the growth, take a bunch of the pictures, take like 20 of them and make a carousel. So it's just one fell swoop. And then we can swipe through and it'll be like a flip book. Then we see the baby getting bigger. But if it's just like, okay, here's week three and the baby is next to the, you put out the little board that has the little letters on it that says, you know, seven weeks. I'm like, this is immaterial to me. And I get this.

10:47I say this as someone who puts up a picture of a cake. And I know people are like, why do I care about your cake? I get it. I get it. I'm not saying I'm not. Well, you can eat the cake. You can't eat any of those other things that we talked about. You know what I mean? You can't eat babies. You can't eat the poop in the drain. You can't eat somebody's gym selfie and you can't eat somebody sobbing. But you can eat a cake. Yeah. And I feel like with the cake, it's like, I didn't think this was going to work out, but look, it actually worked out. And I know you could say that about a baby, but I feel like the baby almost always works out.

11:15So I'm just going to, like, the baby's always going to be a baby, right? It's not like you're going to give birth to a box. Actually, speaking of working out, like, whether it works out or not, babies actually obviously don't work out a lot of the time, especially once they hit teenagers. Start posting their fails as children. That's what I want to see. I'm just like my baby hit somebody with a rock today in second grade and was expelled. That's what I want to see on social media. I want to see your your terrible parenting come to fruition. I'm just saying you'll get my life. I'm just saying babies.

11:48Yes, there are many. It's very hard. It's much harder to give birth to a baby than it is to bake a cake for 35 minutes. But what I will say is that you always know like you're not going to be like I'm giving birth to my baby and then a tire pops out like it's going to be a baby. but with the cake you just really don't know like as that's like it's craziness with a cake i don't know i don't know if you've seen some of these kids on my timeline because i'm sure nobody planned that one all right let's get on with it so we uh pick up where we left off with joe sobbing in the bathroom for himself and going what kind of man am i who even am i doing this oh stop acting like this was five seconds of you just deciding to drunkenly make out with somebody you were up that girl's asshole the entire day and the day before that stop it stop at least that's the thing you know i feel like kizzy's even getting more shit because of girl code and all that which i get but kizzy's at least honest she's like yeah what i liked him too i actually have to say in a weird way i kind of respected kizzy more than joe in this situation uh what not not by much but i agree with you i think i make your respect is a stretch respect is not but i get what you mean it's like i'm i'm more like going i went well oh you know this when when v had her when she once you processed and started circling around to everyone and because he was like yeah i'm not gonna apologize because i like him and we've always had a connection and yeah we just decided to kiss i mean it was definitely like bitchy and it was mean and it was a violation of girl code but at least she was like she wasn't trying to soften it she's like this is just where I stand, you know, whereas Joe is just like full of bullshit and lying.

13:27And they both are lying. They both are lying and acting like this was a spur of the moment drunken thing. And it wasn't. We all saw everyone saw. So now he's he's sobbing. And, you know, part of the problem also with his relationship with V is that it never was like a proper relationship. It was definitely a Madonna horror complex situation going on where because she had a trauma in her past. He treated her like she was some sort of special porcelain doll that like could not be, had to be, you have to wear special gloves with, and like, she's so delicate. And it like, well, it was just never going to work out because he was never really seeing her as like just a full fledged human.

14:03He just was treating her like this special thing that if he could treat this special thing, well, it's like that science, uh, experiment is that the, the project you do. And when you're a kid, when you have to take care of an egg, you know, you ever do that? yes i failed it i'm sure that's a shock i killed the giga pet too i kill everything like that but yeah um i think he i think you're right i think he was doing the thing where it's like okay i need to repair my reputation this season so i'm not only going to like be a good like quote unquote boyfriend to somebody i'm gonna do it to somebody in need like yeah it's like emotionally cripple you know what i mean like emotionally um hurt in some way that uh is gonna make me look even better like i'll get more points because she's mourning yeah and it's like and and he i think he actually also believes he will be mature if he can do this he will now know that he's mature and we see this with every single fuck boy on all these shows is that they they try to have a very serious relationship where um they play house essentially you know what they play house they play house and that's what they do and and they think for a moment like oh because i'm in this relationship, um, I am therefore mature and I've grown up.

15:17And it's like, no, because the patterns continue on. And this is exactly what happened here. But this just had that extra layer of him being like, Victoria, you're so special, Victoria. And you're like, shut up, bro. Like, you don't, you're just, you're just, you're doing this not even because you're really that even attracted to her, I believe. I think you're doing it because you want to just improve yourself image both to the world and to yourself. Yeah. And how much could she possibly care too? Because they've been together for five seconds you know this whole thing is just magnified because of the dead boyfriend stuff you know and also his like you're the only one victoria you're the only one for me i want nobody else uh so nathan is also getting on my fucking nerves this episode with his like oh what a day roller coaster i don't think i've loved anyone this fucking much before to be totally honest i can't believe gail poor gail oh gail gail what have i done gail gail you You were about to fuck Kizzy five seconds ago.

16:10And the only reason you didn't was because the bed wasn't free. So let's stop acting like you've come upon this huge thing, too. I thought there was going to be this moment in this relationship where I was going to start rooting for Nathan again. Nope. I'm just rooting for her to run. And I'm so upset that she got pregnant. Wow. What a crash and burn that was. She went and got pregnant from this guy. And then all this other stuff happened, you know, after. It's like, oh, that poor girl. Poor Gail. Yeah. I actually would, you know, I, you know, I was into this narrative and I would have totally fallen for it.

16:41Cause I was really growing to like Nathan this season, but really all his Islamophobia was so off the charts and crazy. It's just like, Oh man, like, Oh, you're just trash. Aren't you? So I can't root. And also like, I feel like it wasn't addressed. Like you ghosted her, you ghosted her for five days. That's so inappropriate and so wrong. And I don't know why she didn't really grill him about that. Maybe they already had that grilling, but like you just, you like, why would you can't do that to someone and then expect them to just take you back just because you keep on saying that you're the, they're the love of your life.

17:15I mean, if they were the love of your life, why did you do that? I don't want to hear some cliche story about how your parents got divorced. Your sister, your sister and her fiance broke up. And so therefore you, you lost your faith in relationships. Come on, get out of here. I mean, he lost his faith in relationships because the brother-in-law backed away from him after he divorced his sister. So now he's, now he, now he goes people. Oh, come on. Shut up. It's like they discontinued Crystal Pepsi. So now I don't believe in love anymore. No, people stop drinking Zima. So I'm done with relationships.

17:48I just don't trust anybody anymore. And what about the Zune? Who has a great alternative? And now there are no alternatives. So he's going on and on about, oh, Gail. And this is Gail's last night. She's leaving tomorrow. oh, the amount of emotions just going through my body is now insane. And I want to see if we can try and arrange like meeting up afterwards. I just want to make it work. Yeah, you want to arrange for her to stay where you are. Nowhere in this were you saying you're going to go where she is. I noticed. I noticed that too. I was like, why are you not, why is your pitch to say, wherever you are, I'm coming to you, not be like, why are you making her rearrange her schedule and her living situation for you?

18:28Yeah, exactly. So then Josh, the fucking clown chef, who I still can't get behind, I don't care what anybody says. He doesn't seem like a mean person. I don't hate him, but I cringe. I cringe hard. My butthole cringes. It clenches. And he's like, he sings. He pulls out his guitar and sings an off key. This is a ballad of Nathan and Kale. Will they stay together? Or will one of them bail? Will one of them bail? Please die. Please die. Please let this musical career die. And the clown career. And cut your hair. And shave your mustache. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappens commercial.

19:13So Joe's finished crying. And he's like, You want to come talk with me? So he takes her upstairs. And she's like, Are you okay? He's like, No. He goes, I do believe I'm a nice person. I try and do good in the world. but I've got this sense of like failure, like I failed Victoria and being honest. Do you have that sense of it or is it the awareness that you have? You did fail, you fucking loser. That's why you do like that. You know what? You know what's a really good way to get a sense of failure is failure. I believe that I'm a good person. You're not a good person, okay? Even believing it is just lying to yourself.

19:52Stop. I believe I'm a good person. I believe I am. I'm just trying. And notice the way for the rest of the episode, especially after they break up, every time he frames the situation, he puts himself in this passive mode, which is what all the fuckboys do. They always say like, oh, you're trouble or this always happens to me. He puts himself in the passive mode and he almost makes himself be like a better person. He makes himself sound like a better person. Like he did something noble by trying to date B and then failing at it. Like he pushed himself out of his comfort zone as if he like went skydiving for the first time.

20:31Like I was just trying to get that graduate degree, but I couldn't get there. It's like, no, you weren't. I tried. I tried saving all the people from that burning building, but my arm was burning. I had to get out of there. I tried pickled herring. I tried pickled herring for the first time. I wasn't something I normally would like. And I didn't like it, but I tried it. It's like, no, don't get credit. I tried to save the orphans from the bus that was about to crash into the tree. But then I made off with Kizzy. What can I tell you? I've got a penis that won't stop. So they go upstairs to the deck to talk.

21:03And he's like, come over here. He's talking all quiet. And he's like all nervous. And he's like, okay. And everyone's watching downstairs on the closed circuit TV. And he's like, well, you know, you don't have to be all proper about this. Like, it's all good. Like, what's going on? And he's like, ah, so, ah, well, ah, because I've got something to say to you. She's like, what? I fucked up. As in, when you were gone, me and Kizzy, I was super drunk. We were in the jacuzzi. Jacuzzi, sounds like Kizzy. So naturally, something's going to happen in there. We were talking, and then we walked down. And then I kissed her.

21:39I put me lips on her lips. That's all that's happened. I can't remember anything, you know? Just what I got told. I don't know anything what happens. I don't even know who Kizzy is. Yeah. And he's like, I hate. And meanwhile, Kizzy's watching this on the TV and everyone's like groaning like, oh, my God, why is he doing this? Because he promised that he wouldn't do this today. You know, they were Asia was like, don't do this today. This is a meaningful day. You know, have your moment another day. This is not your day. And of course, he can't help himself. Yeah. He jumps on it today. And so they're all groaning watching this and Kizzy's just rolling her eyes like, oh, geez.

22:15and so and also i don't know i think it was the other episode where kizzy says to asia she's like oh my god i don't know what i'm gonna tell i don't know what i'm gonna tell her like what do i tell v asia goes just tell her sorry i'm a stupid bitch how about that yeah that was gold so anyway he continues on with his monologue and he's like i hate cheaters even though we're not in a relationship i've just got to put that in there no we're not in a relationship but you did say five times. I don't want anyone else. I'm all in. I'm all in. So I'm not really sure what you call that language there. Okay, but it's not a relationship.

22:53You're the one selling the dream. Okay, so he's like, I'm not gonna end this in two weeks or whatever. I'm like, this is gonna end in two weeks or whatever. You're too special to lose you, you know. So over a drunken kiss, I mean, no disrespect to Kizzy, but she means nothing to me. And you're something special that I haven't had for literally years. Ever since that time, I got defrauded by a man and wound up eating baguettes in the middle of Spain. So I just feel like I need to say this to you. Forgive me. I was overweight for 10 minutes. I love that Kizzy has to hear over and over in this season.

23:29She means nothing to me. Because she's had to hear from every guy she's tried to bang this season. Well, you know, there was Kizzy, but ugh. Yeah, gross. Not Kizzy. Really into you. Yeah. And I just love that she has to sit at home, hopefully with Tommy cuddling and watching that over and over again. So she's like, okay. And V does the cool girl thing where she's like, okay, like, I appreciate that. And he's like, okay. She goes, but would you do it sober? So, okay, then if you wouldn't do it sober, then that settles it. Just don't do it again. All right. I mean, like you were super drunk. Like, what am I going to do?

24:08I mean, okay. I was like what the fuck have some standards think about the fact that he did this not just that he did it but he did it on the eve of your birthday on the eve of the anniversary of your boyfriend's death which is a really important thing and he doesn't know how you're going to react and at worst it'll be a total violation for you and it's going to be a stab on a day where you've already had the biggest stab of your entire life and how cruel that is and you're just going to let him off the hook I was so upset. I was, you know what? I was trying to do like mental workarounds. Like, you know what though?

24:43I kind of love that. She's like, well, fuck this guy. I don't really care. Like he's, he's all contorted. Like if she knows it's not serious, she's just going to have fun. She doesn't care really about this. I was like trying to be like, maybe this is empowering the way her approach is. But like, ultimately I was like, this is shitty. And I was really so happy that she like processed and like changed course. I actually liked this reaction better, but I wish it had gone a little further. I liked that because, look, she's crying over another guy. She's talking about how much she loves the other guy.

25:12She just spent the whole day on Instagram talking about how much she loves. She just spent today talking about how much she loves the guy, which is right. She's not wrong for doing that. So Joe is just some loser that she's making out with on a boat. Like, I don't think she thinks of it that seriously, but I wish she had been like, OK, listen, I get it. You're a fuck boy. You made out with a girl when you were drunk on a boat. But I don't want to hang out with you either. like gross yeah instead of being like okay it's cool let's get back to making out and go party um but i think that she would have been you know she would have been able to continue this had he not continued to be an idiot the rest of the day i mean they leave this and then they go out and he's still all over kizzy and kizzy's still all over him i mean those two are fucking shameless like they're shameless exactly that's that is the thing and i don't know i i just i wanted her to i really like your take for what her reaction would have been a really satisfying reaction which is like okay that's fine i don't take this seriously but i also don't appreciate the how careless you were with my feelings just now so bye because that's ultimately what it was is that like yeah it's they might not be in a deep relationship but like this is she's like the most vulnerable she's going to be.

26:29And she's in such a fragile place. And he doesn't really know how she's going to be. She doesn't know how she's going to be the one year anniversary, the death of the love of her life. And he's going to do commit sort of like a big betrayal to her, which is already emotionally vulnerable. And you just don't know how that's going to go. And as it happens, it wasn't too bad. It was more or less fine, but he doesn't know that he doesn't know that at all. And it's just so reckless of him and it's so inconsiderate and so self-interested and i think it's just obnoxious and that's what i wanted her to be upset about was that like wow you didn't you didn't think about how this how something like this could affect me coming back when i come back to the boat in my most vulnerable state i've ever been in in my life and yeah i think it's just tricky with people it's like you you've barely been dating and you know this guy's a piece of shit and asha have told you multiple times this guy's a piece of shit and you still went ahead and did it so it's like she knew and she'd been warned so i think she's in a tricky position because if she if she does get upset and starts crying it's like how could you she looks like a fucking crazy person because why would you be that into i mean even though he just totally did you wrong it's weird to have to be feeling that deep about someone that you know from everybody else on board is a fuck boy and did exactly what everybody just told you he was going to do.

27:51So I feel like it would be weird of her to freak out. You know what I mean? Like it borders on weird later to me borders. I think she handles this whole thing really well, actually. But I think, I think it would have been too much for her to, to freak out. I just wish she would have dumped him right here and there because the rest of this is just embarrassing, like easily forgiving him. And I get why she's doing it too. Cause it's like, forgive forget you know i'm not thinking about him anymore i'm thinking about bond whatever and they go out but oh my god these two i mean they just they show you exactly who they are again they go out and they're immediately all over each other so kizzy tells her in the van oh no no she's she's talking to kathy and her and she's like listen you know i didn't know just spoke to you and i wanted to speak to you earlier um but you know i feel like a shit friend you are a shit friend yeah yeah this is not the only shit friend thing you did to any of these people on this boat by the way yeah I mean yeah to be fair at least you're a shit friend to like literally everybody including yourself you treat yourself like shit too and then they go to the van where Joe is and you know he's like I don't know if I can sleep tonight oh you'll sleep just fucking fine I'm sure so then we go back to Kizzy and V and she's like, well, I feel like a bit of a I feel like a bit of a C word and she's like, well, it's too fucking late now and she goes, well, I'm sorry, though I feel like an asshole and she's like, well, I don't know if he's taking the blame for you but he said, I don't remember because everyone had to tell me about it Yeah, and Kathy is sitting there next to them and she's like she has her hands up on the glass on the window she's like, get me out of this van I can't, I don't want to be here anymore and so kizzy's like yeah me kissing joe and then the guilt that came from it joe kissing me it was just a lot and v is just like uh-huh yeah joe kissing me so kathy's just like in total hell with these two and kizzy's now doing this whole thing of like i just wish i had to speak to you i wish i could have spoken to you i wish i could have told you and v's like well why don't we talk about it like that was the one thing i was like hey could we like not do that like that was the one thing we talked about she's like i know i'm really sorry about that i'm just really really sorry but you know we were both really drunk and you know again we saw a clip in here somewhere where there really was a scene where victoria was like please don't go after my guy jolene um but uh kizzy's afterwards you know kizzy they get to the bar and everything and kizzy and joe talk to compare notes and she's like he took it like a champ she believed the whole story he's like oh well we're gonna still be friends regardless of what happens because yeah i hope so also i think the way that um kizzy's thinking of it is like i had my claws in this guy's for this guy first and then you came along and then you went for this guy so i had him first so he was that's also because she calls dibs on everyone but she calls dibs on everybody yeah exactly it's like she didn't have him first because he got on the boat at the same time like They both met him at the same time.

31:05Right, but she was hitting on him first. Well, maybe she wasn't. But in her mind. I don't really know. I feel like she probably feels like that. She feels that way 100%. She feels like, or she feels like she's entitled to have a shot as well. She didn't get her date. She didn't get her one-on-one date with The Bachelor. So she feels like she's entitled to have that moment. Yeah, because she did it with Max too. Remember when Kathy's like, oh, I like Max. I like Max. And then Kizzy jumps on Max in the hot tub and makes out with him. and it's like um i just told you i like max you know she's like but i had an energy with max you know she jumps on she jumps on him first so she's like well i already had dibs on max yeah yeah she's pretty obnoxious i have to say yeah so everyone's dancing everyone's having fun and nathan is just like love bombing gail you know he's like i love you i love you so much i can't imagine life without you it's almost like you know you're the most beautiful thing i've ever met and i just can't like you're the thing that I love the most in this world and she's like okay okay so you know he's basically she's like are you for real are you for real how long is the question how long before you bail on me he's like forever I swear to god I love you forever gal yeah and she's crying you know and he's monk herring all over her and then we go to Max and Kathy kissing and Joe and Victoria are flirting kind of he's like victoria i've got a hat on your hat look at that why do i want the hat and she kisses him and she's like i'm the full package baby and they start kissing and i start booing and shitting down i know i'm posting babies on instagram putting my shirt shirtless selfies on instagram i'm just breaking all my own rules so gail and nathan go outside and nathan's like you have no idea how seeing you has made me feel she's like i 100 believe you that's how you feel But the thing is, you felt that way before.

33:01He's like, but I generally cannot connect emotionally to anyone like I have with you. Like, honestly, I don't know. Like, when we met, I had my mind made up, you know? Honestly, I love you to bits. I'm in love with you again. I love you again. She's like, oh. If you met and you had your mind made up, then why did you ghost her? That doesn't make any sense. So she's like, oh, but I've hated you. And the second I broke down my walls, you hurt me so much. But you not only did you hurt me the first time, you hurt me again and again. And he will do it again. What are you doing? What are you doing? Why do I have to drive my fucking antivan to a fucking yacht to save all of you people?

33:39You should know better than this. This is 2026. Have you read no books? Have you watched no TV shows? These are fuck boys. Below Deck has been on for 19 years. Like 37 years, okay? This show predates all of you. You should know better. it's a show about men who cannot deal with permanence which is why they go onto a boat and sail around the world and do not have to deal with the everyday rigors of being in the same place called a house or an apartment so uh yeah so he's he's now a girl and the girl is the sea so i'm doing my i'm doing my nathan thing which is that when he tells a story he leans forward onto his knees and he bops his head left and right.

34:24He's like, yeah, a year ago, I think I self-sabotaged myself and Gail's relationship because everyone I've ever loved was pulled away. My parents' relationship ended, so my dad pulled away. My older sister and her fiance's relationship ended, so they pulled away. Also, I used to love getting Mrs. Butterworth's, but now I haven't been able to find it in stores. She pulled away from me too.

34:49Molly McButter. Great seasoning. Gone. Where's love? Yeah. So she wants to believe him, but it's only been three days and she doesn't want to be naive. And he's like, well, we were made for each other. I can see myself spending the rest of my life with this girl, but it's not up to me. So he's just like whining and moping and she's crying. And then inside, V and Joe are kissing while everybody's dancing. And Kathy is telling V, oh, you guys have never looked closer. And she's like, yeah, he was like really straight up and like honest about it. But for like Kizzy, I feel like she specifically talked about this situation with me and she still did it.

35:29And so we see a flashback of that. And then, um, by the way, I just want to say as a student of Love Island and various other TV shows, um, if you're, if you're the second one in, it's not even a Love Island thing. This is actually something we've observed many times in Real Housewives. if two people have done something shitty together that affects a third person, the second person to have the conversation about it is the villain because you're just, it's, you're, you're, you're too late. So even if they're both equally complicit and equally contrite, if you're a conversation number two, you're going to get hit with a shit stick.

36:09Like think about Real Housewives of Orange County when, what was it? That it was that Heather and Emily had both said that they don't trust Tamara. So Emily tells Tamara this first, like, I just want you to know. I'm just being honest with you. I said, I don't trust you. And then Heather's like, I don't trust you. But Heather was the one who Tamara got mad at the most because Heather told Tamara second. So in this case, you have Joe. If Kizzy had gone to be first, I guarantee, I don't guarantee, but I think that Joe would be in a lot more shit than Kizzy is. And the lesson is, don't let someone go on the apology tour before you.

36:49Yeah, always be the first to apologize. And anyone with a sibling knows that. Anyone who's ever fucked up and tried to, that's how you blame your sister for shit. You have to go first. Otherwise, you're always the villain. And that's why my sister is always in parental jail prison. Cause I always beat her, even though I was always the one doing shit wrong. You have to be first because the first one gets like the, um, gets the badge of being honest and forthright. Like they came forward first and the other one doesn't get that credit. If anything, it's like, Oh, well you only said something because the first person said something, even if it was prearranged as it actually was, they told, I think Asia told Kizzy or someone told Kizzy, listen, let Joe do have the conversation first.

37:32then you have the conversation but then and i'm not standing up for kizzy but i'm just saying it's sort of funny like kizzy gets burned by this because um you know because here via is like okay i'll let joe off the hook but kizzy she's the real problem they both should be in the problem zone i'm just saying yeah but you know and i've thought that when i was watching this too like okay so now of course it's the girl's fault right because it's like you're it's the fuck boy but you're going to go after the girl you know even though they're equally culpable but i think it's fair to go after the girl because yeah they were friends and that's they're friends and that's different than a boy like girls know that boys suck right so they should always be able to bond together and like the guys are the ones that suck but we should be there for each other i think it hurts more when it's like a friend who does that to you than a boy because you expect it about someone like, yeah.

38:22But yeah. Fuck Kizzy. Still fuck Kizzy. Yeah. Yeah. Fuck Kizzy for sure. I'm just saying it's so funny how like, you know, you got to be first. You might as well just not even bother apologizing. Yeah, you're right. Because it's never going to be accepted. It's a life lesson. Commercials. Here comes one right now.

38:45So now she goes outside and Kizzy and Joe are like dancing. They're like doing ballroom dancing practice and he's lifting her up and shit and they're flirting and giggling. And V is like, yeah, if I were Joe, I'd be walking on eggshells. Like, what the fuck? No, you just showed you just lied down and wrote welcome all over your chest. They're not going to treat you with respect now. Like, that's just not how being cool and forgiving shit is not how to earn respect. Like you need to watch more prison movies. You need to shank a bitch because you need to shank two bitches because you do. yeah you just showed them that you can be walked over and now they're going to literally do this in front of your face the nerve of people the fucking nerve like joe's priority tonight is you are by v's side you are puppy dog whatever she needs that's it you you're like you are with her you are holding whatever bag she needs to hold you're getting her all the drinks you are treating her like a princess but what happens is not only are they dancing whatever after they're done dancing, Joe and Kizzy have this conversation where they're very close to each other and he keeps on saying this kind of bullshit, like, regardless of what happened, your friendship is very important.

39:58And she's like, I love having you in my life and I want to keep you in my life as a mate and I think that we've got a great friendship and there's no point in ruining that. He's like, yeah, Victoria, she's cool, you know, and you're too cool, you know. Wait, wait, I have to stop you. Because while they're doing this, V literally comes up behind him and grabs his butt and passes, like, really close to them. And they're doing this right in front of her and he's like victoria oh yeah she's cool but you're you're you're too cool you're too cool oh yeah yeah he says she's cool but you're too cool you are more interested in reiterating like that you want to keep this friendship going um you know well obviously we know what it really is is like i'm keeping an option in my back pocket but like he would defend it as saying like no i really like her she's like a mate she's like a friend but it's what it reads to me like is that he is putting more energy into making sure his friendship with Kizzy is still okay than he is with making sure his situation with Victoria is on.

40:55He doesn't care about his friendship with Kizzy. He's still going to fuck Kizzy later. I know, but like you should not be having this conversation with her right now. I know. Like, why are you sitting here talking here, like, analyzing the status and prognosis of your friendship? Yeah. So he's like, well, I think you're me in girl form. And she says, oh, people say you get sent the girl a boy version of you to bring you karma. I'm your karma. You're each other's karma. You're both fucking disgusting. Good luck with the rest of your lives. So now it's time to go back to the boat and Kathy and Max are making out in the van, which I can't even spare the time for right now.

41:32Max drives me nuts. I'm sorry. Max annoyed me the first time he was on the show. He annoys me the second time. He is just... I like Kathy so much and I can't stand that she's into this guy. He is the biggest twerp. He's so annoying. Oh, my God. I don't like watching the make-out.

41:53So, Kathy, Max, Joe, and V are in a van. And Max is like, oh, I was really scared for you to leave the boat, Cassie. And I want to spend emotion to all you because I was petrified. Joe, do you remember how mad I was? Yeah, you were mad because you had to work. I remember. Yeah, that's what it was. you weren't mad that you you weren't mad that you couldn't be there to console Kathy you were mad that you had to move chairs around at a lighthouse so Max he's like I was deeply frustrated with Nathan before but that really put like the shit on the cake you know for the rest of the season I'm going to prioritize the happiness of Kathy yeah I prefer her as a boo soon can we not talk about shit on the cake after we just dealt with the whole shit cake too soon thank you very much too soon babe so bedtime and Kathy makes a little fort for her and Max.

42:40And she goes, you know, this doesn't mean we're shagging, right? And he's like, yeah, we are more intelligent than this. And then they go in and you just see the sheet blowing back and forth and hear like pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, sheet on cake, sheet on cake. Rawr, rawr, rawr, rawr. So they're having sex. And then Nathan and Gail go into, like he convinces her to go into a guest cabin. And then at this point we see V and Joe go into their cabin. but now the ick is starting to settle in for her at long last and she's like um i'm really hot can you sleep on the upper bunk so she doesn't let him sleep in the same bed which is i think more awkward than the show gave credit for like that's kind of uh that was kind of a that's significant i think yeah and then uh nathan and gail uh go to the guest cabin and they're talking and it's more the same shit.

43:33He's like, don't leave. Please, I can't do it. We'll just stay in Europe. Barcelona, please. As they make out. And now the next morning, everyone, listen, can I just say, I have no respect for literally anybody on this boat right now. Kathy's better than Max. Although Kathy deserves it. She just had a huge loss in her family. I don't blame her for letting off a little steam. But still, gross. Nathan and Gail. Gail, it's really tough to root for you. Nathan's a piece of shit. And then Kizzy and Joe and V. Like all of it. The season needs to end. It's episode 15 and it's showing no signs. End it.

44:08End it. I love this season. I think it's been good, but I'm at the point where I want everybody to be drowned over point. That's a bad choice of words because of what actually happened in the show. Sorry, I didn't mean it like that. I want everybody kicked off the boat at this point. Yes. Into a deep drain. I am into it. I have no respect for a majority of these people, but I'm really, really into it. I think I'm just in such a place of like, I know how dark things can get on this show, aka I remember last season of Below Deck. That was so wretched. I think it was the very worst season of Below Deck I've ever seen of any franchise.

44:53And so for me, I'm just so happy to have like a really good, solid season of Below Deck Med that it's just like hitting me just right. Like, I love it. Like, I'm so into the season. I'm into, like, as we sit here, like, being like, fuck Kizzy, fuck Joe. Like, I'm just like smiling on the inside. Like, oh, it feels so good to say these things. I feel these things about a Below Deck episode. So, yeah, I'm into it. For me, it's crash the boat. Just crash it. So they all start waking up in the morning and Kathy's like, what are you laughing at? And he's like, oh, because I'm happy. I really like you.

45:26So now we go to Aisha and Kizzy's and Aisha's asking what happened. And Kizzy's like, well, I spoke to V and she was actually like so fine about it. I mean, I'm sure it still wasn't nice, but... Nailed it. Really? Really? Well, good on you for telling her then. And now we go to V and Joe in the cabin and Joe's like, can I come down? Can I have sex yet? She's like, okay. He's like, what's up? She goes, well, I've decided I'm going to talk to Kizzy again because I forgave her last night, but I think forgiveness was granted too easily. It's, oh, so V is basically saying that she didn't, last night she didn't want to feel hurt about it.

46:08She thought like, you know, maybe it was an ego thing or whatever. I think, you know, she basically like, I just, she clearly just wanted to have a fun time. She did not want to have drama, but then she started to think about it and she realized there's like a lot of underlying layers. And she's like, you know, people say like, you're not your words, you're your actions. And that clearly speaks volumes to me, which is funny because I said speaking is really not as important as actions. But, you know, you get what I'm trying to say here.

46:34So, um, Joe's, she's like, what are you afraid to say? Was it an accident? And he's like, yeah, yeah, it was an accident. It was an accident. So, uh, Aisha is talking to Sandy and she dropped something. And, uh, Sandy's like, oh God. She goes, I'm going to do the flaws. Don't worry. She's like, do I seem worried? Do I seem worried? Come on. It's me, Captain Sandy. Yeah. Dream team. So V leaves Joe's cabin, and Nathan and Gail come out, and Gail's packing up her stuff. And Aisha sees Nathan, and he's like, I'm not okay. She's just so amazing. Oh, God. Oh, God. So now Gail, it's time to say goodbye.

47:16So she's saying goodbye to everybody, and everybody's crying. And everybody's so sad she's leaving. Which, by the way, she might be brought right back on this boat because Max continues to fuck up. So I wouldn't be surprised if they just, you turned her right around and brought her back. They actually should have just, they actually really should have just done that. Cause Aisha, Aisha's like, God, I wish Gail would stay longer. Everyone wishes Gail would stay longer. And Sandy's like, oh God, thank God Gail was available. She could just pop right in. Okay. She just did us a solid. And I'm just so grateful.

47:54I wish I had another cabin to keep her. Well, I wish I had two cabins, one for Gail and one for Little Bear. Oh, God, I love that dog. I got to see him on my phone. And Gail's telling us, oh, in such a short amount of time, Nathan's definitely broken down my walls. Which is kind of funny terminology because you know he's like a big proponent of the wall. And Nathan's like, oh, see you soon. And I think we're supposed to be feeling things. But all I feel is like, oh, God, she's pregnant with this man. Oh, God. The baby's coming. Baby on board. Baby bosun. You step on these boats and you never know when the next time you're going to see each other.

48:33Could be in a year. Could be in a month. Could be in two weeks. Could be in three days. Could be in, I don't know, two weeks and tenders. Okay, Gail, we get it. You just don't know when you're going to see him again. Just go. Just go. Hello there. This is a two-part recap, okay? This is the end of part one. So thank you so much for listening to this. Just come back a little later for part two.

49:22Big yay, it's Emily Gauthier Erin McNicholas, she don't miss no trick-a-less Hava Nagila Weber You'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones I go, you go, we all go for Hugo Jamie, she has no last name-y She's our kind of mess, it's Jennifer Messer Sip some scotch with Jessica Trotch She's our favorite streamer, Caroline Peacock Kristen the Piston Anderson Get a bee in your bonnet with Lacey B Kay surah surah, whatever we'll be with Lauren Silsby She gets an A from us, it's Lindsay D Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McHenry Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the Berg This is Livin' with Michelle Vivian I love-a-ya, Olivia Williamson She sure is swell, it's Raquel Yes we canna, it's Savannah Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman Let's share with Sharon Eldridge Darn Skippy, it's Tippi And our super premium sponsors.

50:23Make way for AJ Lopez. She's VVIP, it's Amanda V. Can't lose when you're with Amy Baldwin. Somebody get us 10 cc's of Betsy MD. We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. Let's get real with Caitlin O 'Neill. Put us on a stretcher, it's Charlotte Fletcher. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily Sides. Who, what, why, where, and Gwen Pentland. Let's go into the woods with Guy Tubbs Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall Hail the cork master, the master of the cork, Jennifer Corcoran We got our wish, it's Jen Plish My favorite Murdo, Karen McMurdo She's a total knockout, it's Katie Mannock In the study, with a candlestick, it's Leslie Peacock Gee, it's Lisa H We're ride or die for Lisa Ryder Barron She's a whiz, it's Liz Sarthy Always killing it, it's Lola Alkalani The Incredible Edible Matthews Sisters She eases our woes It's Melissa St.

51:20Rose There's a chance of meatballs It's Rebecca Cloud Maximum love for Sandy Maximoska She's the queen bee It's Sarah Lemke We cannot tell a lie It's Sarah Talafson Shannon out of a cannon Anthony Please don't stop It's Soli and Pop Let's take off with Tam LaPlane You'll always get the full story with Tori Parsons She ain't no shrinking Violet Kuchar We love you guys you