#3179 Southern Charm S11E08 Part 2: When Audrey Met Salley

0:03Watch what happens when there's so much that happens. Watch what happens Watch what happens Who cares what happens When there's so much that happens Well, hello and welcome to Watch what happens This is part two of a two-part recap If you're like, hey, wait a minute, I didn't hear part one Guys, it's because we put out a lot of recaps Go back and listen to part one, okay? It's before this one Bye, enjoy the show So Vanita and her mom go down the sidewalk walking hand in hand and they go to like a daiquiri store. Zachary's Daiquiri's possibly. Zachary's Daiquiri's. Is that the name of the place that was on Southern Charm?

0:54Zachary's Daiquiri's. Isn't that Vanita's place? Oh, I forgot about that. And they got in trouble because they wouldn't let people in with tennis shoes or something. Zachary's. well they're definitely a daiquiri place that sort of looks like an like an ice cream parlor i'm not sure what's going on but yeah i know it's called yeah type establishment yeah they do have a place called zachary's daiquiri's i wonder if this is it maybe by the way this would be a good time to mention that the southern hospitality trailer dropped today and it is so fucking amazing that if you're not watching southern hospitality it's time to get on board you have time now to catch up because it's it's this is one of the best trailers that bravo has done in quite some time i would have to say can't wait yeah it's really like a remarkable trip like a a remarkable remarkable trailer okay so they so vanita and her mom vi they sit down and um they're gonna get some daiquiris and everything and vanita tells us my mom and i get together often now but it wasn't always like that because we're more similar than we are willing to admit so we would butt heads and it took me moving out for us to build a true relationship and that was eight years ago and so uh you know that her mom's like we're not more similar you were just a brat and i'm the mom and i knew better okay you were an asshole and you wouldn't stop um finding out where i was on my iphone and calling me and telling me to come home so stop lying and vanita uh so she asked vanita so what's going on with your love life and she's like oh big dog questions whoa big dog questions mom and she's like no i just want some grandkids before i leave this world and by the way a plus mom guilt right there just at the gates so venita's like okay that's rude um are you gonna help me find the man she's like well i heard about this new concept called a bm am have you tried one of those mom not doing a bm am

2:55um so um now vanita is telling her you know what the mom really does not give a shit about she's like i want to hear about the future grandchildren but instead no let's just talk about this stupid girl you're hanging out with so she's like oh my god me and sally are having a friendship hiccup it's like uh did you see the mom like oh god i should have gotten alcohol in these b nicoladas the mom's like i don't know who sally is is that your vacuum cleaner She's like, no, well, it's just like really annoying right now because I've never had to deal with this as an adult and like a man coming in the way of our friends.

3:26So I told her, go after your man, but don't call me when, when, you know, he like hurts your feelings. And her mom's like, that's mean. She's like, whoa, is it? Yeah. The mom's like, I just feel like a friend is a friend regardless. And a friend is a friend through the good times and the bad times. And I think like you just keep offering grace. And, you know, I mean, there's literally a song that says in good times and bad times, that's what friends are for. hello, we don't get superstars together to not give you bad advice. And she says, you should be sensitive to what the other one's feeling and saying, because at the end of the day, you get nothing for nothing.

4:00And good friendships are something that are very rare. And Vinita's like, okay, well, thank you for coming and getting free daiquiris and not being on my side, mother. But I don't think I was harsh towards Sally. I just, I might be beating a dead horse at this point. Maybe I need to be a little more patient. and she's like yeah it seems like you had a strong connection and i mean that's good right right can i go home now it's just like i don't know i'm just gonna give you some generic advice could i go back to the house that i finally got without you there that would be great gonna pick up this daiquiri check okay yeah so now we go over to shep driving his car gosh call call rodrigo and so then um what did we say we were going to call uh she who shall but not be named who lives in our phones so that way she doesn't go off every time we mention her was it like burnett burnett after this after my surgery hey burnett call rodrigo calling rodrigo but then burnett hangs up by accident and shep gets so mad god damn why would you do that i'm just about to call rodrigo stupid burnett god burnett's better in cuba so he calls he finally gets him and he's like hey friend i'm back in charleston back from sunny gorgeous cuba i got burned though well the trip was fantastic my brother and dad my cousin came down you couldn't wipe the smiles off our faces man our pretty little freckled lips couldn't stop smiling So we see them jumping off a boat in Cuba, which is exciting.

5:40And Shep is like, so gosh, I'm really happy that we're able to do that. But where do we stand on the house, by the way? Because I'm going to have to move in with Craig. And I just am not really sure I'm ready for that just yet. He's like, well, I just went shopping and I found you a table that was from an opium den. So I thought that would be cool. Oh, cool. Yeah, that sounds awesome. Well, I'm going to go to Craig's home right now because I don't really have a, I don't know. I'm just kind of homeless right now. Gosh, you're going to start making fun of my cans. Oh, gosh. So he rents his house out during the summer.

6:12So his house is out of there. So without the new house ready, he's got to stay with old Craigie Poo. By the way, he gets$700 to$1 ,200 a night for that place. That's crazy. Maybe you want to rent things out. I know. I know. Seriously, I should buy an Airbnb in Charleston and let it rip. That's some good money. So he thinks it's going to be fun. And we think it's going to be a nightmare. I think we're all right. So he gets to Craig's house and he's already got his laundry ready to go. And he's like, hola, amigo, K-Tall. Have you been talking to Austin? No. Why? I've been in Cuba. So basically, I know Spanish now.

6:54It's like, okay. Well, I got some hot sausage and a New York strip and I've got some chicken breasts, you know. Oh, gosh. That reminds me. you've come a long way since the backyard barbecue and we see footage of them in that ill-fated barbecue that somehow has stayed in all our minds where they just were totally inept and i think that like craig threw frozen ribs onto the grill or something like that i think that was a wait was that that time did he do it did he do it again because he also did it last year when he's like yeah i'm the griller and he just opens a big bag of frozen meats shoved dumps it all onto the grill and closes the grill.

7:28Looks delicious, Craig. Looks delicious. This was also when Craig was compulsively lying and getting called out for it, unlike now, where he's just compulsively lying and getting past it. Everyone pretends it's not happening. Not much. Shep goes, did you flip the ribs? And he's like, I'm on my phone. I never smoked anything. What should I know about that? He's like, you said you were a grill master. Wait, you don't know how to grill? No, you claim to be a grill master.

8:00So Shep is like, by the way, do I might do a little bit of laundry at some point. Is that cool? I've just got some sweaty, fishy clothes. So Craig is like, oh my God, I used to be the messiest person in the world. And then something happened. I don't know what, but my house is a little bit different these days. I was like, page came in and said, you have to get a cleaning lady and stop acting like you're cleaning your own shit. You don't know. You got ladies. ladies you literally say it one second later he's like i think just like shet makes things feel very haha lived in that's how i'll put it so my cleaning ladies are on standby i'm like yeah so like you don't act like you are cleaner you just have money so you can make yourself a pure cleaner yeah it's like yeah these days i really like i'm really together and i just like my house the way i like it and you can afford cleaning ladies it's okay for cleaning ladies so it's fine.

8:52So Shep, it's like, wow, I feel like I'm packing my waiter days. I used to wait tables. I used to be like, gosh, how's everyone doing today? That wouldn't go back to the table, really. I wasn't very good at it. I can't imagine Shep serving other people. I think what he meant when he said he used to wait tables was I'd go to a restaurant and be like, when's my table going to be ready? Gosh. Do you have any of those little buzzer things I can hold until my table is ready, just so I can feel like I'm back in my back in the job market. He clearly at 16 was like working had like a summer job at like the country club that his parents were like this way he'll have work experience and understand what it's like to be a normal person and he like brought you know hot dogs and fries out to people at their golf tables outside on the terrace like that's all that it was for sure it was not a real like real deal restaurant.

9:43It's time for a commercial it's time for a Crappin's commercial

9:51So Craig opens up about the drama with Sally. He's like, well, there's some drama with Sally because we went to get chickens together. And then Sally was like, I should have been catching. I've been catching some feelings. I'm saying I'm liking you. I don't see it. Wow. Chaos volcano. Wow. As much as she acts like a guy, things take longer and hurt a little more and sting a little more. Because she's a girl.

10:23now charlie and i are gonna go to this oyster farm and we're just gonna like hang out because we haven't even had space to ever really talk because sally is cuckoo crazy stalker clinger whoa she's chaos volcano get her away from me i hate her uh lock a date yeah yeah but like charlie's like nervous because sally's gonna get mad now oh yeah um i saw that craft that craft store down the street shut down anyway that's neither here nor there sally has an ownership thing over charlie and her behavior like you used to do with austin kinda i mean it's like austin cared about what you thought and it sounds like charlie still cares what sally thinks i don't think that's fair because i never like liked sally like if i did I would have had her stay the night when we were all there.

11:13So, like, I don't know. She's crazy. Karsh, I honestly believe that he wasn't flirting with Sally, but he loves to chat and talk. I mean, all the things this guy, that girl sees intimacy. Craig just sees as being himself, like, flirting, inviting people over to stay the night, making plans for the rest of their life with bees and chickens. That's just Craig. Talking about how many kids they want in the form of chickens. Girls are dumb. You befriended somebody rather quickly and confided how you're like, oh, man, she's different than what I originally thought like. What? And Craig says, yeah, because after my breakup with Paige, I feel so free, you know, because that was totally my decision.

11:56I feel great about it. I was like, hey, new friend. But somewhere, somehow, it went wrong. It never went wrong. She said she had feelings for you. And then you said, I don't have feelings for you. and then he went and told everyone that she's a crazy person. So nothing went wrong. You just were being a jerk. By the way, did we not clock this last week? How blatantly obvious it is that Sally trying to fill the void of Paige got chickens? Like chicken. Chicken. I know. No, we didn't clock it last week. And someone said it in the comment. Like, of course he's getting chickens because he lost chicken.

12:34Like, duh. Yeah, I didn't clock it. But it's sad. I didn't clock until right now at this moment. And maybe that's why he resents Sally now because Sally actually has chickens. And he's like, oh, chicken. So he sees her as like mother of chicken, you know? He's like, oh, they're all against me. Yeah, he likes calling a girl chicken, but he doesn't like to actually own a chicken. That's it. So now we're at the engagement party. And Tyler is moving some vases around, which is exciting. And they're heavy. He's like, that's gotta be 20 pounds. and they're arranging it. And then we meet Lisa. It's very scary.

13:12It's 20 pounds. It's like me. I'm like, 20 pounds? No. Call it task, grab it. So Lisa is their friend and she has rented out or given the backyard for this Greek party, which doesn't look Greek at all except they're all dressed in white. And Tyler's like, we did it, guys. It's transformed into a Greek palace. Thank you so much for hosting this. As you can see by the fact that this looks like literally every other party we've ever thrown on this show. Just people dressed in white with white linens and some flowers on tables. Someone's backyard in 500 degree weather with sports coats on. That's just how we roll here.

13:50And it's like, oh, honey, you know how much I love y 'all. I'm just so proud of you guys. I'm just so happy to be a part of this. My two great gods. You're staying inside, right? Oh, okay. We're just using your backyard, Lisa. Okay, sorry. You don't really fit in here, Lisa. Okay. um so arrives yeah austin shirts yeah austin's brought two shirts to try but what's he gonna wear and audrey's getting ready curling her hair and she's like i brought the steamer and so he's like are you excited to see tyler and rod she's like oh can't wait i mean i he sent me the invitation but like where even is the invitation where's the party at and he's like oh this is the isle of palm chef's house so like you know like near chef's house so like who will be in attendance tonight of course like how do you feel about seeing shep after he said all the bad stuff about you and she's like well you know he's not my favorite person right now and i do love the the continued tradition of girls uh long distance girlfriends on the show who hate shep so austin is like look look shep feels really bad like you know like it's craig like he felt so bad he said lo siento which i think he thought that i'm sorry but like i gave him a pass on that one So Craig has absolutely no fucking reason to explode at me the way he did because he's not feeling sorry.

15:07And like to try and like embarrass me, it's insane right now, Audrey. So we see that, the party where they fought before. And she says, yeah, that's what pissed me off because he doesn't know anything about me. He doesn't even know me and that's fine. I mean, look, there's so much to know about me. I hate traffic. Traffic sucks. And I'm in traffic a lot, which is terrible. I mean, if only he knew that. Yeah. And so she's like, you know, the thing is this, like, you know, for him to make those comments, like you're unhappy. Like he has no idea what goes on in this relationship. To be fair, I'm not sure you have any understanding of what goes on in this relationship.

15:46I don't honestly even know what goes on in this relationship because a lot of it is just me like, hey, it's me, Audrey. Call me when you when you get this message. It's been a few days. Anyway, it just makes me feel like makes me feel like, look, I have my head in the sand, which I don't. I definitely don't have my head in the sand about the situation. whatsoever. And it just cuts to Austin looking himself in the mirror like, when should I tell her that she has her head in the sand? He knows nothing about this relationship. I work so hard on this relationship, driving. This relationship has so many miles on it.

16:18We're not going to get a lot of money on trade-in on this relationship. We have driven, I've driven a lot. It's been a lot of driving. He's just not paying attention to her, staring at his hair. Would you be interested in a new Toyota? because apparently I'm gung-ho, okay? I don't know what that means. I'm a millennial. So basically she's getting annoyed. She's annoyed at the guys for butting in as usual. And she's also annoyed at Austin that he's so forgiving of Craig. Yeah, and Austin's like, yeah, I have a tendency to forgive Craig a little. You didn't forgive Craig. Why are you pretending you forgave Craig?

16:57You immediately went and stabbed Craig in the back. Like five minutes after you forgave him. Let's not pretend Austin's the best friend either here. But I like that they, I like that these guys just constantly use the women in their lives against each other. It's like, okay, here's what these guys said about you. They hate you. Go get him. Okay, we don't hate Shep anymore. Now we hate Craig the most. She's like, okay. I mean, I guess we hate Craig the most today. Jesus. Well, okay. Well, here's the thing. Craig freaks out exponentially more than he should. And then it's like back to like, oh, hey, man.

17:30my bad let's be good again it's like you're exhausting me so like then he replaced me with sally's insane right now uh and so he's basically says and now craig had a fit on sally so the pattern continues and we see last night i mean we see it started last week again craig being like she's crazy chaos she's a chaos tornado wow yeah so uh he has a lot to answer for tonight she's like Okay. So now we go back to the engagement party. People are arriving. Austin's still digesting his Mexican food. He's like, vomitos! Vomitos! Turns out Los Gatos does mean I'm sorry. That's crazy. The scene right now.

18:15Leva shows up and she's like, hi. And Roderick goes, oh my God, Leva, very Greek. She's like, yeah, it's Greek with a splash of senorita. a lot of Spanish influence on this episode.

18:30So other people come, you know, whatever. Madison's in there. She's like, my titties are out today. And Leva says, you're pregnant. You're going to have a lot of titties coming up. They're going to be out for a long time, girl. And so she says hi to Austin and Audrey and

18:51right when she comes over, Austin goes, wow, look at her. And Madison says, I'm hanging in there. And Austin's like, wow, you look great. So, Audrey, you need to go get a refresh on your drink. And she's like, no, I'm fine. He's like, oh, okay. Well, I guess Audrey's going to sit here and talk to me while I talk to Madison, too. God, can I get a minute alone? And Madison's like, I'm honestly trying to see Audrey here. And we see her. He wasn't even offering to get her a drink. He's like, you want to go get yourself a refill? You can excuse yourself now, Audrey. So we get a flashback of Austin and Madison when they were talking over boiled crab, which is also you just sort of see little flecks of crabs spewing out of Austin's face.

19:28He's like, I just feel like I'm just like in a fucking, it's like just so good and easy. I love a good, easy relationship. She's like, don't you feel like you're bored? And he's like, what? Uh, yeah. So Madison's basically like, you know, I think that Austin's like making her believe that like everything's perfect, but like just unfortunate because like that all of us behind the scenes know, he's ain't gonna last. She is not born for corn. That ain't gonna last. I'll tell you that's gonna last it's a low calorie snack in my household these days okay what are the odds that Rod cries during a speech such a pussy alright he's gonna cry I'll pay you 20 bucks and then Shep and Craig are arriving and there's like mosquitoes around them and they're like they're fussy because Craig is wearing a fedora which doesn't really match the entire like white everyone's wearing he's like wearing white linen whatever but then it has like this fedora like propped on his head and he's like i'm gonna need some bug spray and shep's like i forgot my shades like a dumbass yeah so they come in and um shep sees what'd you say i didn't know it was an outside party have you ever had an inside party on this show i know ever so shep's like wow it's so awkward because audrey's here oh i don't know what austin told audrey but i know my name was mentioned and who probably wasn't mentioned in a wonderful light.

20:54So he says hi and they all say hi to her and she's like hi how are you Craig? He's like I'm good I'm here. I didn't know the party was outside. Did you know the party was outside? This is crazy. Is Greek outside? I thought Greece was an indoors country. So then Craig is seeing Audrey and he's like he tells us come on man we all know you don't want to be with Audrey. Like so why are you still with her? Just break up with her. It's just so funny because like, I feel like Craig didn't appreciate it when people said that about Paige. Like, why are you with Paige? Why are you with Craig? Like you clearly don't like him.

21:31It's time to move on. And he'd be like, wait a second. And now he's the one doing that. That's literally all the guys on this show, especially these three, the three main guys. Every time the other ones have a girlfriend, it's like, oh my God, Taylor doesn't, why is Taylor even still with Shep? Shep's not going to marry Taylor. What are they doing? Because they all know each other so well. They know that they're all faking it. Yeah. I don't think Craig was faking it. But I think that they all want them to just, each other to be single the whole time. Right. So Molly and Whitney arrive. And Whitney's like, congratulations.

22:05I would have brought you a gift, Tyler and Rodrigo. But I was waiting for the registry to come in. So I didn't buy you anything. So sorry about that. Oh, Rodrigo says, yeah, well, it's the it's the Charleston Animal Society. So just give it all to them. Are you an idiot? What? This is your time. The gay people did not fight in the streets for your right to get married. So you could just ask for nothing for your wedding. This is our time. You better go get your five thousand dollar plates. You better stand up for the gays. Give it to the fucking starving dogs. Get the fuck out of here. We fought for your rights.

22:38Get out there and get some money off these straight people. Yes, seriously. so um then sally and her friend riley arrive and sally's like we're so cute wow god why is the first person i gotta see craig oh no so she comes in and then she says hi to everyone and vanita now that her mom is like you've been a shitty friend okay take some lessons from dion warwick here and burt back rack okay and vanita is like trying to be nice now she's like i miss you i miss you so much i really miss you and size like do you because you sure did run out on me the other night with a quote-unquote kidney infection whatever hey you're on my dress bitch get off my dress she's like i'm sorry i'm sorry we're not fighting no no no too late too late you're on my dress still i gotta get a drink as soon as you get off my dress bitch so they're nice to each other but sally says you know i'm tired of the drama of vanita i'm just tired of walking on eggshells literally i just want popcorn's already leaving them everywhere it's almost like controlling like She's controlling us.

23:39She's not being a good friend right now. So I'm choosing to walk. God damn it. I just stepped on. Do you have chickens here? Why am I always stepping on these things? They hurt. So then Madison's like, hey, does anyone want to see a picture of my baby? So she shows up the blobby ultrasound picture that still to me makes no sense. And wow, look at this. Look at this large. Look at this large piece of bread. I swallowed this. What are you showing me? Look at this melty candle rendering of something inside me. Like, just wait for the baby to come out and we'll look at the pictures then. So Whitney's like, are you having a gender reveal party?

24:15Are you insane? Arthur gives an, are you insane? Because there was a gender reveal party at your house, Whitney. They literally cut to them sitting around opening dresses and everything being pink. and Whitney being like, wow, what a fancy dress you got her mother. So Madison's like, yeah, we had a pink party in your front yard because it's a girl. And he's like, oh, congratulations. Congratulations. Don't you remember DJ Randy was on the turntables? I mean, he got electrocuted that day by the turntable, but he was there. He was literally on the turntable. He flopped over onto it. We had to resuscitate him.

24:56so charlie arrives and uh and now craig is talking uh to uh steven the guy who thinks everything is amused oh steven oh my god i was i was so glad that he was back and i was so upset that he was only in this one moment because craig's like hey guys how's it going and you know steven's like oh this is stupid america i remember you you said the stupid thing that you thought taffy wasn't a real thing oh god i love you he's precious so dumb but so hilarious say something else dumb do it do it just say anything anything say it in your accent i don't have an accent you do it's a dumb person accent just say anything say maths say maths maths math.

25:42Do you hear the way he says math? I love how messy he is because Craig is talking to Sally. And so Stephen's like, oh, look at that. I feel a change of energy there. Did I feel a change of energy? I don't know what it is. Charlie's your name? What an interesting name. I didn't know. It just felt like the minute you saw him, it was like boom, boom, romance going off my right. God, people love stupid people. Stupid people love stupid people. It's what this country was founded on, wasn't it? God, hug each other. It's like watching two bricks, two bricks of brains just clunking together. God, I couldn't ask for anyone more stupid to be together.

26:22Congratulations, you two. Please don't procreate. Meanwhile, Charlie is reenacting the end of Goodfellas. She's looking up in the sky for a helicopter. Do they see me? Do they see us? Am I being followed? Oh, God. Oh, God. It's all happening. It's all happening. Okay, Craig, we cannot be seen. Can we go inside, please? Sally's going to find us very soon. Oh, my God, I can't do this. Marriage bath, I'm ringing. It's like, oh, my God, Sally is going to kill me. Please make this guy stop talking about us getting married. Have babies soon, stupid people. Oh, God. I never thought Americans could be funnier than when they're being dumb.

26:59But when they're being scared, they're even more hilarious. Oh, my God, Charlie, you are hilarious and amazing. is this where the term scared stupid comes from or is the stupid scared i get it mixed up in my head sometimes you're rubbing off on me aren't you run along you two

27:17so sally sally and charlie say hello to each other and they're like it's fake intense charlie's like you look so cute you look so cute you look cute you look cute everything's fun yeah so uh rodrigo gives a speech it's really romantic he's like okay uh first of all wanted to thank everybody for coming today second of all i'm working on my kitchen please stop writing about it um tyler uh yeah tyler's great okay everybody thanks for coming save the dogs so then um uh it's a yeah it's a really really wonderful boring speech commercials here comes one right now

28:08um so then austin's like hey audrey you want to go down to the dock she's like yeah sure i guess so they go down to the dock and then shep shep is talking to craig and he's like craig what are you doing i want to give austin and audrey some privacy but does she know that he has said a couple of things to other people like that's insane right you do the austin line it's insane right now i have no idea it's not my fucking business to tell her it's my business to tell other people to have them tell her these guys are such assholes so austin's like down on the little gazebo dock thing hanging out with audrey and like oh my god that's breaking them up how can we find a way to ruin their day audrey's here one time a month let's fuck it up let's make her cry so meanwhile Audrey's like can we take a picture and Austin's like whoa look at my toupee what the fuck or is it saying in Spanish my tupito wow it looks like I'm wearing a toupee what the hell was that you used to like me even though I'm wearing a toupee and then Craig is like talking about like still talking about Austin he's like I mean you want to marry her you've been together for like two years you need to know that and if you don't then you're in the wrong like get out stop this is very much coming from greg yeah when you when you're with somebody for two years that's it chef's like wow two years is good i mean at age 36 i mean i guess you ought to know and you too sir it's fucking hypocrites he's 38 it's not fair to the person so austin's like yeah audrey just give me a kiss let's go back up there so they go back up and then Charlie and Craig are talking and Charlie's saying, hey, so I just wanted to chat, see what's up because I finally talked to Sally.

29:56Yeah, and I feel like there was weirdness between her and I and like, honestly, I'm kind of like really scared. Like I got to go. I'm like, I'm losing my mind right now. Okay, really? Please say something to her. Please, I can't live like this anymore. I'm going to have to craft again if this doesn't get better.

30:18so Craig is going to go talk to Sally now. He's like, all right, I'll go talk to her then if it's going to make Charlie feel better because Charlie is terrified to date me unless she gets permission from Sally. So he's like, yeah, you know, I don't want Sally to be sad for anything I said, but she's put me in a weird position because, like, she's always going to be between me and Charlie. No, it's because she was literally between you and Charlie in a hot tub because you created that situation. You fucking loser, Craig. Like, take responsibility for once in your life. So he goes up to her to talk.

30:50And she's with Madison. And she orders a non-alcoholic beer. She's like, I need a non-alcoholic beer and a break. Oh, no, Madison needs a non-alcoholic. So anyway, who cares? Craig comes over. Madison's pouring the non-alcoholic beer on the floor for Karen to lick up. You want that? Want that? You deserve it, Karen. Well, just kidding. I didn't drip it. Oh, here it goes. Nope, didn't drip it yet. Oh, I dripped it. It's like, just fucking kill me already. So, um, they, so Craig is like, so, um, anyway, uh, here's my hat. I'm going to lay my hat down, Sally, just to show, just to show like how contrite I am.

31:30I'm going to lay down Sally. I don't get the reference, Craig, but you hurt me. And some ass like, well, this is awkward as fuck. And by awkward as fuck, super entertaining. I'm just sitting right here. Enjoy this. Okay. You guys are fine. well but it's not my intent at all my intent was to lay down my hat yeah but i just want to know why you wrote me off so quickly craig he's like i didn't write you off i don't write ask anybody i don't even sign checks i have somebody do that for me it's hard my my handwriting is like chicken scrawl see i knew you wanted me to have those wait a minute so sally's like austin told me you're done with my friendship what Who told you that?

32:12Austin, remember when I just said Austin told me you're doing my friendship? Dumbass. So we see a flashback of Sally saying, what did he say about me exactly? You're a tornado. Then you leave a path of destruction wherever you go. And he was very quick to be like, me and Sally are done. And Craig said, what? I wish I was trying to flashback because I don't remember, like, did Craig actually said that he and Sally are done? Because I don't remember and I was not willing to go back and look at the scene. No. You remember? I don't, probably. I don't know. It sounds like him. So Craig's like, that is insane.

32:46A lot of people are saying that word a lot today in this episode. Is that not what you said then? He goes, no. Why would you? Aren't you starting to put things together here? You let my fucking enemy get involved with our friendship. She's like, wait, so you didn't say it? No, I'm about to explain to you what I did. Okay, what I said. Okay. You let, no, what you did. No, what I did was let you come between my enemy. Who are we talking about? Austin. Damn it. Okay, well, you know what? Y 'all figured this out because this is too much stupid for me to deal with. So I'm just going to go over there.

33:22God damn it. People are dumb. Craig is mad at Austin for getting in the middle of his friendship with Sally while Craig is actively trying to figure out a way to get in the middle of Austin's relationship with Audrey. So just wanted you to know. So getting in the middle of someone's relationship, totally cool. Getting in the middle of someone's friendship who you did talk shit about, bad. Not only bad. Because by the way, Craig said all these things. Craig said all these things and he's just mad that he got caught. And not only that, Sally has something legitimate to say. Like, I just heard you say all this mean stuff about me.

33:56And Craig's response is to make it that Sally is in the wrong. Because Sally let Austin say all these things that Craig believed him. So now he's going to be mad at Sally. you believed a guy whose main goal in life is to tear me down and greg's like see how awful it is being friends with austin he runs to sally and tells her something that he knew would hurt her feelings just to get between us i'm like as if you have not been a little narc so many times on this show as well i mean because that's what you guys do you guys just had a lot of each other yeah but also you chose not to go to the slumber party uk like you had like he had some sort of meltdown because Austin defended Sally.

34:39And then Austin comes there like, where's Craig? He's like, Oh, well, Craig was talking shit about you. I think he's right that, that Austin is an asshole for doing that. Cause it was only going to hurt Sally. But Craig, you did that on, you said all that stuff on camera to the whole group of guys. So like you were publicly dissing this chick and then what, just hoping that she would never see it. I mean, come on. Yeah, exactly. And then, cause what happens is, well, what would happen is that Austin doesn't say anything and then Sally gets mad at Austin. I just wish that in that moment you would have told me because I thought we were better friends than not.

35:12So he's just like, whatever, fuck it. Like, Craig will have no loyalty to me. I know he's not talking shit about me, but I actually have a good friendship with Sally, so I'm going to let her know. Oh my God, I can't believe I'm actually sitting here defending Austin. It's so ridiculous that we can still get so worked up over this stupid show. They do the same thing all the time to each other and every time it's like it's brand new. Like, I cannot believe he is turning it on a woman now. Like, of course he is. So he's like, well, what I'm upset with you is that you trusted him more than me because I didn't go around to your enemies and say a bunch of shit about you.

35:41And she's like, um, well, no, you went around her friends and said a bunch of shit about her, which is even worse. And she's like, well, I didn't know Austin was your enemy in this moment. He goes, yes, you do. You know how he treats me. And I thought we were really close friends and I really enjoyed our friendship. Well, I agree. And that's why I was hurt from what people were telling me. i also honestly i think it's kind of shitty that craig is going around like this guy that he's ostensibly like they're still like brothers or whatever and they did just make up and even though there's like some pettiness going on that now craig is going around saying that austin is his enemy i think that's actually a pretty harsh thing to say about someone so then also i'm confused about the timeline of things because they went to that restaurant by the way which we know is their restaurant it's austin and craig's restaurant so why are they in a restaurant partnership together that they're not talking about and i don't know i don't understand the whole thing like why haven't they brought that out on the show and they're acting like their enemies but they're really opening this restaurant together and that's the real plot i'm confused yeah so the gays cut their cake do the thing where they like wipe frosting on each other's nose as if that's like new and novel and clever and then shop's like guys i got a party bus for us so we can leave this shitty party and go to Islander 71.

36:59If you're interested, let's go. So everyone's like, bye, bye. We're just like leaves the party. Like, oh my God, thank God we could end that stupid stuffy ass party. So they all get on the bus. And then Shep is like, gosh, I can't believe Whitney's here. It's like Bigfoot coming out. Wow, nosotros vamos. I just got back from Cuba, so I know Spanish now.

37:27um so they get to a place called islander 71 and vanita falls right out of the bus which yep as it happens they go in and uh poor vanita so they go in and uh craig's um like hey sally i'm gonna say hi to charlie but are we good and she's like yeah we're good i accept his apology because i like being on good terms with fathers of my chicken children and you know it's important we've still got to talk about custody arrangements and when's he going to come see me and do i still get a mother's day gift but you know what i just i'm gonna be on good terms with him but it's gonna be hard because i i do believe austin 100 times percent more than craig you know so then uh sally like sally's walking through they're all like this they're all a bunch of them are sitting at a table and sally goes and says hi to like everybody audrey goes hi and then sally says hi to like Leva and like other people, but she's like totally ignores Audrey.

38:23And it's like, not the first time. And so Audrey was like, what the fuck? Right. Like she walked past me three times and I was like, Hey, and I was the only one that she didn't say hi to. And I was like, who's Sally? Yeah. Sally, Sally, that girl. Yeah. Who else would I be talking about? What are we talking about again? So Craig goes to Charlie and he's like, Hey, Charlie. She's like, Oh my God, you recognize me oh i was trying to wear a disguise i just don't want anyone to see me here i just feel like such a terrible person you're not wearing a disguise oh you're right well damn it i should have i feel terrible sally's over there did you talk to sally how did it go what happened with sally he's like well um we talked so what are your questions she's like well i don't want her to be mad at me for encouraging you to go talk to her did you tell her i encouraged you to go talk to her did you just talk to her on your own i mean i'm a guy could look like a total creepier.

39:17So Charlie was like, I don't want her to be mad at me for going on a date with you. And now, then it went to, I don't want her to be mad at me for talking to you. And now I don't want her to be mad at me for telling you to go talk to her to stop being mad at me. Girl, you're... Lean in. Just lean in. It's okay. If you're going to do it, just do it. You know? Just say, I have the right to date him too, and I'm going to date him. I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings. We can talk about it all you want to, but like, stop crying in a corner. It's so weird. but of course Craig loves it cause you know it's like girls fighting over him so he loves it and so on the heels of Audrey being like that girl Sally is ignoring me she's being kind of like a bitch to me I was like got it so he goes up to the bar where Sally is hey Sally sells seashells down by the seashore how are you that's insane right now how many seashells did you sell today puts his arm around her no like hey did you see Audrey over there said you didn't say hi nothing he's just like hey sexy what's up and audrey is watching this you know and so then we go back to charlie and craig and she's like oh my god did you have a good conversation with her was it a conversation did you bring up the chickens i hope you asked how they were she's gonna be mad at me if you didn't bring up the chickens she really cares about those chickens and then sally is telling austin um craig told me he did not write my friendship off oh you said that to you yeah wait who said that to you craig god why can't you guys keep up with the simple information Well, I don't think I did say that he wrote their friendship off because Craig doesn't write.

40:46We all know that. Well, damn it. That's what he said, too. It's comical. This is comical. Comical to me. This is so comical. Comical. Is it like 1986 and Billy Crystal and Whoopi Goldberg and Robin Williams are my screen? Because it is comic relief happening right now. Seriously. Did a bunch of starving children just get fed? It is comical. this is comical comic as paula pounds on here because this is a night of comedy so back to craig and charlie he's like but i want to be okay to hang out and she made it sound like it wasn't she goes no no it is it is okay it is okay i'm just i want to continue to hang out with you two well one-on-one oh my god are we married should i call my sister she's really looking forward to this then sally is like i'm telling you okay craig is not your friend austin he called you his enemy what he said that to you okay well i believe it it doesn't bother me whatever i'm totally chill okay because you know what we don't have a podcast anymore i don't give a fuck what he thinks about me i literally don't even and your girlfriend hates me no that's not true that's not true i'm drunk i'm gonna stop talking i don't know i'm i'm just gonna stop talking i'm gonna i'm gonna I'm going to stop talking right at the part where I could have made things okay with you and my girlfriend.

42:08So then Craig and Charlie are watching Audrey. And Craig is like, what do you think Audrey thinks right now? That Sally and Austin are belly to belly at the bar? Should we get in the middle of their relationship? Because I hate when people get in the middle of my relationship. But I'll do it to Austin. So it looks like Audrey is going over there. But she doesn't. She goes and sits at a table way far away from everybody. But right in Austin's line of sight. So he knows she's pissed. yeah so um she walks by to be like hey i'm walking by but i'm not saying hello but you should see me right now and this is this is an indication that you need to pay attention to me and i'm gonna go sit far away so you see i'm alone right now metaphorically and physically yeah so he's like whoa did i lose audrey where'd she go so craig has to point out where she went so uh she's sitting alone and she's like it's doing and so he's like uh are everything okay And she's like, we need to talk.

42:58And then we see them start to fight. She's telling them off. And everybody at the bar is watching. Poor Audrey. Poor Audrey. But yeah, that was it. Exciting times there at Southern Charm. Tomorrow we have a big day. We have Beverly Hills. We have Valley Persian style. And most importantly, the traders. So we have a big day of recording tomorrow. Come join us. Come join us also at the Crappies in late February. links on our website and on our social media and we will catch you on the next episode of Watch What Crappens. Bye everyone. Bye. Watch What Crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors.

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