#3182 The Valley Persian Style S1E04: You Give Me The Sweetest Tabbouleh

0:21Well, hello, and welcome to Watch What Crap Inns. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today is the glorious, hilarious, and lovely Ronnie Karam. Hi, Ronnie. How's it going? Good. How are you? Great. Thanks. We are here to report on the Valley Persian style. Before we get into that, go join us on Patreon. We just recorded our bonus episode of the week about the Trators. We had a lot to say about that. Also, Patreon is where you can get ad-free Watch What Crappens if you support there. We have a newsletter that's going to be rolling out soon enough on Patreon. And that's free. That's a free thing for everyone.

1:04Anyone. Anyone and everyone, even if you are not supporting on Patreon. But it's just all going to be there. A little hub of activity. And, of course, don't forget, we've got the Golden Crappies coming up at the end of next month. Tickets are at WatchWhatCrappens.com. Um, so here we are speaking of the traders. Uh, you know, I feel so bad for the Valley Persian style and to some degree, even Beverly Hills, because I think the chatter on the internet on Fridays, if you go on Twitter or on threads, and I've been going on threads a lot more because you know why on threads, you can actually label texts as spoilers.

1:40So you can freely talk about things like the traders and mark things as spoilers. and you're not going to make people scared to go on there, which is so wonderful. But everyone's talking about the traitors. Maybe it's my algorithm, but everyone's talking about the traitors. And this poor show, The Valley, I don't know how it's going to break through when on Friday mornings there's just no space for it, for online chatter about it, you know? Yeah, and they did it a favor by putting it after Beverly Hills because that's one of their biggest shows. But, you know, it's up against the traitors. and it's not the most compelling season of Beverly Hills either.

2:17So it's like, last night on Beverly Hills, there were some moments on Beverly Hills last night that I think normally would generate a large amount of Twitter chatter. And I think that got lost too. I think that the traders is such a social media behemoth that I think it's really just hard to launch a brand new show against all that. So I feel bad for this one. Yeah. And the Valley is pretty good. I mean, I think they're doing a pretty good job. This is season one, episode four. It's called Dennis the menace, which is funny because I've been calling Todd Walter Matthau all week. So I always love that.

2:58That comes around on Bravo. And we opened where we left off last week with his Gigi having this meeting with this guy she was married to for five minutes and having him come to this restaurant with terrible tiles on the wall that belong on the floor and then um having a fit even though she knew everything he was going to say and then storming out of the restaurant i just need to eat something i need to add something i love by the way that you just sort of made that voice because one thing i noticed about gg last night which has been there for over a decade it's always been there but for some reason i feel like we've just never noticed it is how gg always talks with like a vibrato.

3:36She's like, I am so mad at Dennis. Dennis came and he was talking to me and I don't know why he came to the restaurant. I'm like, why have we never noticed that? Or why we never articulated that Gigi always is so dramatic with her. I've been doing it this season because I've noticed it this season, especially when she gets herself all worked up and she's like, I just can't do it. I apologize. I apologize. I didn't notice it in your impersonation because i was just last night i was like she is so funny she's like dennis is always coming around i just want to get this off of my head and you're acting like it's nothing i was like oh my god finally after a decade of gg impersonation um so he comes outside he's like hey what are you so mad about so what so i have a date of joe you're one of your best friends you know the week after we got divorced like who cares like whatever she's not even your friend if she's willing to date me like who cares like lord get out of here i'm gonna kill this guy i'm gonna kill this guy so um she's like just stop i want to get it off my head and you're acting like it's nothing you know like she's shaking like she's like can you relax though can you relax though can you relax though she's like fine so they go back inside they're mopping the walls in there just come back in i love your obsession with the title this restaurant is just so ugly and you know here's my problem because the valley gets a lot of shit right and i've over the years you know i lived in not the valley for 15 years so now that i'm kind of in the valley and i really do like it here but there are certain things that make me crazy and a lot of it is just style style it's like what happened that the valley i guess was just built in a different time and it's just like uglier architecture in general and it's just the restaurants have no taste or like good they just don't look good and this is a like the perfect example of like let's just open a restaurant and get some home depot floor tiles in the cheapest section possible and put them on the wall and it's just offensive can i eat in a decent looking place valley no i know this is this is a valley thing it's the valley it's hard i mean there there are some aesthetically very cool parts of the valley like there's definitely like a mid-century modern thing that is especially go down little neighborhoods yeah yeah there's like really cool but there's also these really cool kind of like old motels and bars that like that's like the best part of the valley but there's also just a lot of generic shit that pops up in the 80s and the 90s and you're like what is this yeah there's a lot you can tell there was like a big boom at a certain amount at a certain time in um history just that It was tasteless.

6:23Tasteless. Tasteless boom. Disgusting. Well, let's go back to this tasteless boom restaurant with the tiles on the wall. And he's like, listen to me. He's like, I know you're angry and I'm sorry if I did hurt you. So you're apologizing for my fucking friend? He's like, yes. Just Dennis and I, for the last 13 years, we have just been best friends. And like, there's no other man that has been in my son's life other than Dennis. and we were in business together and we got married for five or six months ago in Vegas and a couple of weeks after that, and like he just got engaged to someone that was my friend and I haven't seen him since then after 13 years and he just dumped our entire relationship down.

7:02I'm like, Gigi, no one cares. We've never seen this man before in our lives. We never heard about him. Maybe we did. We just didn't like, we didn't like put him into our, we didn't press command S and save him into our brains. So like this whole thing, like literally don't care about. Just have your margarita, wash the wall and let's move on. also you told us all last week that you only married this guy to make another guy jealous you always thought this guy was ugly and didn't even like him and you only married him to piss off the other guy so why are you acting like that like you're such a shithead to this guy and i like that he said that he's like you know he said at some point he said something like what you didn't even like me you're saying he's so ugly i would never marry him why do you even care but I do I do I do and he's like look I know that we're family like you would have me back tomorrow I would have you back tomorrow like what's our family you know I got your back and even if I was fucked up at the end of the day get nothing for nothing and that's the life of the people who put floor tiles on the wall I mean what are you gonna do you know well I still consider you a whole family I love your dad Eli loves me your mother loves me your sister loves me I know fuck her too right I mean I can't even do your mom's accent right now because you know she's like you're lying i can't take this don't do my mom's accent that's the weight of my heart no please don't do it there he comes here he comes right around the corner to me do a mom impression and make me love him again don't let him do this to me and then he's like look if we're family right like brothers and sisters fight way worse than that you know we're like brother and sister imagine a brother and sister that got married but then with a sister only got married to the brother to get revenge on the sister's other brother and then the brother went and annulled the marriage to have sex with a different sister that's like family right who doesn't fight with their sister a little bit after fucking for a while i mean it's natural she's like you're yeah i just can't with you i don't know what else to say i don't know what else to say to you and he's like okay well what's the plan then she's just go back to work let's just not ever talk about anything else again she kind of starts doing that giggling thing or now she's like flirting with them i just don't because she's like let's talk about work now let's talk about okay intimately gg that was doing amazing and so then we see their business together which was selling you know vibrators with gg's face on it or whatever we were selling fives of those every year and so imagine all the people just determined to put a dildo with my face on it inside of them let's just get back to the real things maybe that's why she's talking like that i'm using my intimate by gg toy right now so gg so i mean by the way these two were never mad at each other in the first place because they're like okay we're angry we're angry we're angry and now everything's fine so let's talk about our vibrator business let's get that going again i know and apparently this is going to be a big issue because oh but guess what no one likes dennis so now we go around the horn to find out what people think about dennis and I was like, I am not cool with Dennis right now.

10:06He hurt my friend Gigi. And when you hurt a friend of mine, you hurt me. And since I'm not allowed to be mad at Tommy this season, I have to be mad at someone. So I'm going to be mad at Dennis. If you hurt Gigi, you hurt me. Unless it's me hurting Gigi. And then it's just fun. But it also kind of hurts me, I guess, because Gigi has knives. And MJ is like, losing Dennis was a really big emotional hit for Gold Nessa. And yes, it was hilarious for us. But overall, it's problematic for us, too. So, yeah, I don't like Dennis. Yeah. And then Natasha's like, I mean, he's a guy. He thinks with his, you know, his duel.

10:42So then the check comes and Dennis says he's got it. She's like, that's right. You do. You better get it. So he's like, yeah, we both know you're not paying. You got the unicorn wallet. No one's ever seen it. I'm here all night. I don't get that. Speaking of unicorns. Let's make a dildo unicorn. He's like, I think they already got that. God damn it. God damn it. I need to punch something. So we go over to Sky and Bombshot's house. And Tannen has invited them to Palm Springs. And basically, they're going to go to Palm Springs. That's the whole thing. There's a trip. And so Tannen's like, you know, we haven't had a trip as a group together.

11:27And I think it'd be really wonderful if we as a group could be in one place. so I can ridicule my husband in front of everyone. I think we'll just have a great laugh. So then we go to Reza and Adam, and Adam's in the garden in his overalls. He's like, I'm going to Bully. And he gets a text inviting them to Palm Springs. And then we see Gigi reading part of her text. And she's like, oh, fuck yeah, I can make it Palm Springs. And then Amir is saying that they want to go, but are children welcome? No. Get a fucking babysitter. I don't know why your kid's on a trip. Way to ruin the vibe right away.

12:06Let's go party our asses off with our friends in Palm Springs, party central with your fucking kids. God. Yeah. No, don't like that. So Sky's talking about how she wants to have a bigger house. Cause she really, she wants to move out of this house a lot. She hates the Valley, by the way, that's the, as we already know, but just to reiterate, she hates the Valley. She's like, look at all this tasteless boom architecture around here. Get me back to Bel Air. So she's like, you know, when I met him, when I met Bomshad, more like bombshit, am I right? I said, I will never live in the valley. He's like, that's true.

12:41But we were building and remodeling and flipping homes. And the pandemic came around. I said, surprise, we're living in the valley now. She's like, yeah, it was an adjustment for me because, you know, bombshit architecture. I hate it. And now I'm here. So, oh, God, get me out of this hell hole. He says it's going to be temporary. So five years later, we're still here. How temporary is this? How temporary is five years? This man puts the bomb in bombshell. Am I right? Thank you. And Sky, so she's having Reza, probably the worst realtor we've ever seen. How does this guy ever sell anything? All he tells people is not to buy things.

13:17Have you ever seen a realtor do this? He's like, hey, listen to me. Here's what I would do. Never move. You need to keep what you have. Don't be silly. this is not a time to buy anything i just told go nessa this i'm telling everybody i need to sell houses don't buy houses okay i like that when he wants to emphasize something reza plays a small small piano in front of him he puts his fingers down he takes his fingers and goes like this on the table he's always like don't do it if you have an interest rate that's less than baby shams's age for don't sell i still haven't met baby shams's interest rates and he's right though because interest rates are still insane and i don't sell and um she's like okay but if we spend two and a half million dollars or something and he's like oh that is so unrealistic one of gg's dildos is two and a half million dollars okay listen there's a house on cassiano for 2.3 that you would never buy it's garbage it's bombshot that's farsi for garbage she's like i know i have a low interest rate but i also have a high boredom rate going on here i don't care i will do a 35 interest rate get me out of the valley right now uh so he's like that's too much financial pressure you're an idiot and um he's like the only house you're gonna find is a mixer uh a fixer and she's You know, she doesn't want that.

14:51Something's not mapping. Like, she's not mapping. It's cold. She hates it. She hates where she is. See, I'm putting my foot down. Oh, Raza, you stepped on the tabooly. Sorry, Adam. So then we go over to... Don't worry, I've just made five more containers of it. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappens commercial. So then we go over to Amir and Natasha. and they're looking over schedules and stuff, and Amir is like, hey, there's something I want to talk to you about. I don't really open up about it a lot because I don't want to be like boo-hoo, but I don't know, because I'm a widower and stuff, and I just don't want people to treat me differently, but Adam said he mentioned a medium, and Natasha is like, no, I mean, yeah, I mean, you're still far away from being a large, but I think a medium is about your right size.

15:45No, no, no. like we're actually commuting with the other, the other side. And he's basically saying it's a weird thing because he doesn't like to cry. And he's like afraid of crying. And he always apologizes to a therapist and he doesn't, he's like afraid of talking to a medium to his ex-wife and like, should, should Natasha be there? Should she not be there? It's like a thing. Yeah. Like, and you don't want to be talking to the medium and then you start sobbing when she was like, Oh, the wife is saying, you know, talking about how you still don't do your dishes, you know, and stuff like that and um it's also awkward for her you know what i mean because it's like you're always living in the shadow of this other person and it's not like what are you what are you going to do it's not like you can just pretend that never happened you know what i mean but like to have a whole ass family with somebody and them still to be like oh my god but what do i do about this feeling for the other that must be a rough position for her to be it's really fascinating actually psychologically because the way they speak about it is like if it weren't for her i never would have met you so i love you so much but i also love her for what she did for me and then like i understand for him how we can have that duality but for her i think it's probably really tricky which is probably why she she's saying she doesn't want to sit in on this because she feels like it's more for a mirror but i feel like it really does put her in a strange position it does because she says at some point like we don't really talk about her that much so because he's vocalizing all this stuff now i mean there's cameras around and they're like okay you need to talk about this and so now he's talking about it every episode all the time like whenever they You know, like, and he's being open.

17:15So I'm not dissing him for doing that. Just saying for her, it's kind of an awkward position. It's like, okay, well, we go from this position where he was coming. He was coming from a really bad place. And now he's gotten to this place, which is a great place. And we have this family, but he's still now constantly talking about this other thing. So it's got to be a mind fuck for her too. Yeah. So then we go to Reza and he's having beers with Bombshot and Greg. And he's like, guys, something is really exciting that's going to happen. is that we're going to surprise Adam in Palm Springs and we're going to bring him to the restaurant where we got married.

17:50And the guys are like, okay, that's pretty cool. Because we're going to a restaurant. Oh, sorry, we'll finish? No, there's nothing left to say. Please speak on my behalf. I didn't mean to do that. But like, guys, it's going to be crazy because it's going to be this restaurant and then a drag queen is going to come deliver a rainbow cake to Adam. I'm like, are you even a gay person or are you a person pretending to be gay? Because I've never heard of somebody like, okay, a gay person, here's what we need for my birthday party. A drag queen and a cake with a rainbow on it. Like, it sounds like somebody's mom being like, my kid just came out of the closet.

18:25Let's have a birthday party. Get a drag queen. Get a rainbow cake. Adam loves it. He's like, well, you know, this is, I think this sounds like a perfect thing for Adam. Like, to us, we're like, this is just so on the nose. But, you know, Adam's like, oh, my God, it's a rainbow. Please tell me there's tabbouleh inside the cake. Is this tabbouleh with frosting? My favorite.

18:46And Bombshide's like, oh, okay. Well, it's gay and it's colorful. I like it. Good trip. Sounds good to me. Is my wife going to be there? Because hopefully you have a mic for her to yell at me and call me a loser. Have I told you she started calling me the bomb? Great. Bomb.com. So then Tannen and Sky are at the gym and an ongoing runner so far. These episodes is a growing rift between the two of them. You know, like they start the season like best friends, but every episode there's something else that's bothering Tannen about Sky. So Tannen's like, so are you excited for Palm Springs? She's like, no, not excited at all.

19:24Tannen's like, I'm planning it. I remember how I invited you to my trip. Remember how I said, hey, you know, be really fun as if we go. I'm going to plan a trip to Palm Springs and you can come. Remember that? Yeah. Oh, that was a disgusting text. I hated the way it was written. God, who writes texts like that? Stupid. Oh, you're right. You have the penmanship of someone who lives in the valley. I'll tell you that. So then we go to Amir and Natasha and they're having dinner. And Amir is like, so what do you think about the trip? They talk about it and they talk about bringing the kids. And he's like, well, maybe a hotel would be great.

19:58You know, let's leave the kids at the hotel. He's like, okay, well, let's leave them at the hotel. So at least they're doing that. Yeah. Then everything they're, they're, they're, they're, they're like, I'm just gonna say absolved a little bit. of wrongdoing with the group trip. Not really though, because they bring the kids out every five minutes. It's like, oh, I got to feed the kids. This is a party event. There could be Coke on the tables. Get the kids out of here. That's right. So then we go to MJ and Tommy's and Gigi is there and Vita's sort of like looking at the kid, like not looking at the kid.

20:30Well, she is sort of looking at the kids, but Eli is there. All the kids are playing because Natasha also shows up. So Vita is on babysitting duty and everyone's sitting outside. and MJ something I don't know I don't understand what happened here but there's a pizza that's welded onto some cardboard did she put the cardboard into the oven with the pizza is that what happened? oh I guess I don't know so they're all outside talking and the kids are playing and MJ's like they're asking where Tommy is and MJ's like he went to play the play he went to watch the playoffs and the kid sees we see Vita talking to the kids and she's like Like, you know, I prefer being inside because there's air conditioning in there.

21:14Great. So outside. She wasn't ridiculing them. Yeah. Like, oh, you got knocked over. You lost your toy. Boo hoo. Wah wah. Do you know what I went through? I wish she was telling him, listen, do you know that you're being babysit by the king ping pong champion of the world? Ping pong champion. Oh, you're sad. You're sad. You want to go outside. Oh, that is such a load of BS, child. Today I'm going to teach you lipstick. Come on. I'll come out with a fit, right? With a strong red lip with lip liner. So Gigi's like, where's Tommy? And she's like, yeah, he went to play the playoff. So she's like, yeah, I haven't seen Tommy in 20 million years.

21:56Like, where has he been? And they're like, what's the reason that Tommy's not around? You all know the reason that Tommy is not around. Because Tommy was going to go to jail for almost beating the shit out of Reza. That's why. and it's been going on forever and i like that they're like okay well you got over it so tommy has to get over it no right i think that gg's also like um i'm friends with tommy i'm not reza like he doesn't have to be scared of me it's one thing to not want to hang around when res is there but like he can come over now it's just me and natasha and doesn't even know natasha right and then gg wasn't great to mj either gg was really mean to mj that last couple of years too she was teaming up right with reza she didn't say the abortion stuff but she was still right there with Reza.

22:37So I think Tommy's like, fuck these people. These are toxic, awful, horrible people who ruined your life and tried to ruin our relationship. And we're completely unsupportive when you needed them the most. I'm not going to be friends with them. That's it. If you want to go shoot your little TV show, go ahead lady, but I'm not a part of it, which is fine, but also get a job. And that, that too. Natasha asks if Tommy's coming to Palm Springs and it's like, no, you know, and G and Gigi's like, so your, your friends are your friends and his friends are in New York. Is that what you're saying? And MJ's like, yeah, well, I mean, he likes you a lot.

23:09She's like, well, then why the fuck doesn't he come around? My man, I mean, like, come around here. And he's basically like, you know, Gigi's like, yeah, that's, you know, like, I get to be with him on the week. You know, I'll be the 11th with the wheel once again this weekend. And when I'm with Tommy, you know, like, you know, we share a bed together and, you know, but, you know, and he's great. But at the same time, I don't get any doting. I don't get any affection. i don't get a hand on my ass or a kiss on the cheek and we used to be so into each other and now like he's whenever he's home he's just distancing and like there's no bonding and it's sad yeah so then uh she's like well what about his past with resin at a adam and mj says yeah you know i think he can be cordial and she's just like but why can't he re-establish something or not have to establish something and uh mercedes but like there he needs to be there by your side because he knows that you want him to be at that moment so like why won't he be there yeah no it's just it's not gonna happen it's not gonna happen and um uh and gg is saying how this really seems to be affecting mercedes and it reminds she goes and it reminds me of my situation my friends they all know dennis so when when that happened to me it happened to all of us and i need to let them know that like he's sort of back in the picture so i just don't know what to do i was like this has nothing to do with dennis and the dennis situation it was so petty and stupid and it was like this is like a marriage that was like built on like a lot of love that is being torn apart by reality tv and yours was a marriage for reality tv basically without the cameras yeah exactly and so she's like yeah i have to let them know like he's back in the picture but i just don't know how to do it and so they all cheers to the the weekend and then um we go to wait what happened with the kids gg started okay so what basically the kids the kids were playing outside and natasha's like roman roman don't do that that's not how we do that in someone else's house and then sham's like it's okay you can do it anyway get away bitch so she's like oh okay sorry so now we go to resident Adam and they're packing and Adam's like I'm gonna bring our wood cutting board because I want this to be a wild vacation we're bringing cutting boards guys let's get loose a cutting board like what the heck who brings a cutting board on a vacation honey tabbouleh man tabbouleh oh god Jesus Christ with the tabbouleh don't you want the rush of straight up tabbouleh in your veins I can't wait until someone this season finally tells Adam that tabouli is not a Persian dish.

25:48And just watch the blood drain out of his face. Because Reza is apparently too nice to tell him. But girl, better work on some yellow rice.

26:04So now they're driving and they're heading out to Palm Springs. And Sky really wants to get airwashed. She's like, so we're going to Erewhon. So question, instead of Palm Springs, why don't we just all go to Erewhon and then go home after 45 minutes? That seems like fun time, right? She's like, we're not going to Erewhon, okay? And they're like, well, what did Greg drive? Why isn't Greg with us? And she's like, he's in the Porsche, the GT3. And he's like, oh, I'm going to come back with him. That sounds good to me. I'll go in the guy car. and tannon's like yeah i'm driving a sky and bombshad because greg already went to palm springs to set everything up and i mean we just argue all the time when he's driving i can't do it like i will not drive with him i just drive myself anyway so whatever where are you even with this guy and isn't the porsche your new car that he got you yeah but apparently greg complains all the time when they're driving so um sky's like by the way do you think i should just bring up the golden s's situation should i talk to her about it because she like smoked weed at my house and i I just don't want her to act weird or lose her cool, you know?

27:09And then we see Gigi's driving with MJ and Reza Jackson. And Gigi is saying, she's like, oh my God, I hate it when people don't use their blinkers. Okay, like, which is funny because I never would have seen Gigi as someone as like adherent to blinker etiquette. I would have think she'd be like, whatever. I was changing my lanes. I think that people would like understand that. But she's like, they didn't use their blinker. God damn it. so now adam and res are driving their car and they're talking about tommy adam's like did you see when tommy when we left because i went up and i said hello to him and then i gave him like a little shoulder bump because his hands were full oh wow that's very sweet of you my love but you see the tension in res's face like oh my god do not make me be friends with tommy again please he's like well i hope it was a nice icebreaker for him to feel comfortable to come and hang out with us at some point i even told them listen we changed all of our potted plants in the front now they're in now they're in a rubber pot so if you can throw them all you want and they'll just bounce speaking of icebreakers could we just pull over to get some ice my shoulder's a little sore from that shoulder bump it hurt that was he's really rough so that gtmj and resa jackson in their car yeah when tommy was dropping you off i was just shocked to see how to go out of his way and say hey, Tommy, and then they bumped elbows.

28:28I was like, oh, my God, no one even used a blinker for that. They could have hurt somebody. But it also was like a little weird that when Adam bumped shoulders with Tommy, Adam went, Gigi, no. I was like, I wasn't even touching you. He must have PTSD. Then he started hitting himself in the face with the thorn of roses. It was really weird. I don't know what's up with that guy. MJ is MJ is saying that she doesn't really know what sort of fear and anxiety Reza carries about this reconciliation with Tommy or whatever because it was so dark especially for people who really didn't watch those last few seasons.

29:09There was a restraining order Reza was suing he actually wanted Tommy to get put in jail it was felony counts etc it was really really bad and the things that Reza said that preceded it were horrible things. So it was a dark and terrible nadir for these two friends. And so MJ is just saying, she just wishes someone or something that I could just toss him in the ring and be like, bro, it's going to be okay. She basically is saying, I know, just get together with Reza and you'll see it's okay. And then we can build from there and we'll let bygones be bygones. And she goes, and there's a beautiful pot of gold on the other side of the rainbow.

29:49But actually, we swapped that with a pot of tabouli. I hope that's okay.

29:57So now everybody gets to Palm Springs and the kids are there. And they all start going in and picking rooms and stuff. And, of course, Gigi runs in first and gets the biggest room for herself. And Reza is putting jalapenos in a beer. He's putting an entire jalapeno in a beer. I mean, this guy's bold. It is bold. and we also, by the way, there's something that I would like to get to the bottom of that I feel like is never explained and maybe I missed it, so maybe you can clarify this for me. Why does Reza have a big yellow stain in the middle of his white shirt for the whole episode? What happened?

30:35Bravo is so good about continuity. Do we know what got spilled? Was there a mustard incident on the road? Did you see that yellow stain? It was driving me nuts. I didn't notice. No. Oh my God. Right in the center of his shirt. I was like, something spilled. We need to get to the bottom of this. Reza does not walk around with a yellow stain on his outfit ever. I don't know. Reza's changed. You know, we saw his kitchen. No Chevron. No Chevron. Something's going on. Straight lines. No more angered lines. I feel like this is the week that gays are getting attacked for their kitchens on Bravo, too.

31:12Because, I mean, we're the ones doing it. I'm the one doing it on this show. But then there was Southern Charm, that storyline this week. So it's like, it's a big time. Gays, get your kitchens in order. Okay. We'll never write a media award. Yeah. You're really holding our fellow gays. I don't think we had a chance. Yeah. We didn't have a chance of that anyway. So Sky's like, oh, of course, for some reason we get the smallest and the ugliest of the yuck room. It's the yuck room. That's where we live. We might as well be back home in the valley. She hates it because she walks in. She's like, oh, it smells in here.

31:43and Tenen's like, I mean, even if it smells terrible, just say it right away when you walk in. She is just stupid. She's very, very stupid. And Reza's like, if my friend had set up a trip to Palm Springs and invited me and I wasn't paying for the house, I wouldn't lead with complaints. I was like, you would, Reza, 100%. You'd be like, bitches be like getting bad Airbnb where the B &B stands for bitches not buying good homes. Am I right? Bitches be getting bad B &B's. What are you putting me in a rest stop bathroom? Is that like the bedroom that I'm getting on this trip? Is my pillow gonna be a urinal cake?

32:23Like what's going on? Palm Springs is so special to us and you would get this awful shitty home. I hate it here. But we are family and we will get through it. I love all of you guys here even if you are paying high interest rates against my advice. So Bombshot is getting hangry and he's just searching for any food that he can get. And RJ is like, so how was your car ride? Was it like the same vibe? Like what was your car ride like? Like was it good? Like tell me all about it. Tannen is traumatized by riding with Bombshot inside the car because he is a complainy, complainy backseat driver. He's like, when are we there?

33:06Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Can we get food? Can we go? No. Can we go to Fuddruckers? No. Can we go to Target? No. Did we go anywhere? I'm bored. I'm bored. So now MJ is wishing out him a happy birthday in the bedroom. They're going to do some birthday shots. And Gigi's like, I have a question because the kids are in the back. Like, is there another area or like an outside area where I can go in this house to like maybe have a smoke or something? Because I really need to have a smoke. There were so many people on the road who really don't know how to make turns. So Scott tells her to go to the front.

33:39There's a swing that she could go on. and then she tells us, I am a strong woman and strong woman don't need to do cat fight. We don't do that. I'm not scared of anyone. I'm like, I don't think this was a cat fight moment, but that's fine. She goes right there though because she's going to confront Gigi and she knows that confronting Gigi can lead to a knife fight. So she's like, I'm going to confront her and I'm not going to fight. So she goes out and Gigi's calm. She got Gigi in like a good mood, you know. Gigi's also smoking a blunt. yeah well that could still go anyway with gg gg says that calms her down but we haven't really seen a ton of proof that that's the truth so sky goes out like oh i would love to share something with you um hate the valley hate my husband but otherwise you know last time you came to my house kids were upstairs and you were smoking weed it's like um i do want you to know that whether it's about me or whether it's about me smoking weed or whether it's about me having a dildo business it does really well or my only fans or whatever it is you can talk to me like even if you're just constipated like i'm a very easy person to talk to okay and i respond well to honesty and openness with people but you know i'm sorry like i just wasn't paying attention so it was it was actually shocking well first of all i mean everything gg's saying is true she's been very well documented about being easy to talk to and responding very well to honesty um and confrontations she's just great with that but uh what was shocking was she goes but uh sorry about that i was like whoa that is something we've never heard it was just like a normal it was actually like a very nice normal scene amongst adults which is like oh yeah sorry about that my bad and then everything was fine so then this guy's like well for some reason i thought you were going to lose your cool she's like no i don't lose my cool with people being honest and straightforward i lose my cool with People being fake and bullshit and lying and talking behind my back and those types of things.

35:40I'm smoking weed. I got the munchies. Let's go back inside. I'm cool. Gigi today. Just wait, because I don't know if you've seen the previews yet, but I really eat you a new one soon. So go back and enjoy your comfort while you think you have it. Maybe she's not good behavior because she knows she's going to ambush everyone with Dennis later in the evening. Oh, maybe. Yeah. She's already got her drama planned out for the evening. Yes. So now inside, Adam's like, guys, tabooey. Jesus.

36:11And so Reza's like, guys, hopefully before the end of the trip, it's going to be Reza, Jax, and Gonessa, Jax. You guys should have sex. And then, you know, Gigi and Sky come back and they pretend like they were having a fight, but like they didn't have a fight, guys. And Tannen goes, guys, can I quickly say something? Okay. I just have like a little surprise coming in. It's a tide stick for Reza. Okay, everyone gather around. We're going to do this together as a family. All right, let's fix that shirt. And so she talks about how she wanted, she's been wanting to connect with a medium since her father passed away.

36:52And so she heard about this amazing medium and got her off Instagram. So let's see what happens. And then she announces that there's going to be a medium. And then Tasha's like, oh God, I don't know that Amir is expecting this. I don't know that this is exactly the right time to do this. And he's like, yeah, I don't want to be emotionally triggered. So can I say something? No. To the people who will potentially have sex tonight, I brought pineapple juice for all of you because that makes your vagina smell good. So. And RJ's like, amazing. Oh, Vanessa Jackson. So then they start dancing. and then there's like some guacamole happening and Reza makes some guac for MJ and they're gonna go have like a whole talk and Reza's saying like, Mercedes and I have been friends since we were teenagers and she started going to Beverly Hills High School and I was like, it's love at first sight.

37:47I can't wait to undermine this girl for the rest of our lives. I can't wait to out her for forging checks. You know, it was instantly super close. I had a lot of regrets. I wish I could turn back time. Do-do-do-do-do-do. And I wish Merced never fought with me. But, you know, it did. And I'm hot-headed. And my dad had a temper. And I'm a Leo. So, like, get over it, you know. So MJ is like, okay, look, you know, Tommy dropped me off. And I just want the opportunity for you guys to be like, hey, what's up? Well, if I see him come around, I want to, like, avoid him. Because I feel like I don't want to trigger him.

38:28And she's like, yeah, but like, I don't think he does have that animosity, but he's like very much on an island. I was like, by the way, MJ, just want to just revise that a little bit. He does have that animosity. He really does. He 100 % has the animosity. What part of, I hate that motherfucker and I never want to see him again. It's not animosity. I want to break his skull.

38:53So, yeah, but I just have a wish that everybody can get along. we can have an ice breaking ceremony and he's like well do you think it's just breaking the ice so we can tolerate it or do you think tommy's open to being friends because that's a big deal like one day i would like to tell tommy don't buy property in los angeles with me she's like yeah no just ice breaker that's toleration let's just shoot for toleration and she's she also says stuff about like all his friends are in queens so like he's alone and he's hard and you're a skittle and da da da da da da da da and he's like i'm not in a negative place with tommy and i don't have any ill will even though he did break a cactus which was expensive but i've moved on and my ultimate wish is obviously to be in a better place and i see mercedes living her life as a single married woman and if it takes me putting myself in a difficult uncomfortable situation i guess that's what has to be done because i am a martyr yeah and he cries and he says that watching her care for her dad helped her and watching you as a wife and a mother and a businesswoman and someone who can eat tabbouleh and not tell my husband it's not even person you're such a good person you're such a good person

40:13stuff is happening stuff is happening in the kitchen everyone's playing around it's like sort of fun and games and everything. And now everyone gathers in the living room because the medium is going to come in and the lady comes in and her name is Tiffany. And so she is, first thing she says is I'm getting a strong female energy, which is a bit open. There's a bit of a vagary there. So RJ is like, Oh, maybe it's my grandmother. And she's like, and then she starts saying you are a natural entertainer she's like do you dance professionally or did you dance professionally he's like oh get out of here wow that's crazy and she's saying yeah um i'm getting a sense of a michael jackson song and i see you doing that infamous lean you're leaning in did you practice doing that and yeah she literally says she shows me that you did a compilation of michael jackson songs and i see you do me doing the infamous lean i mean that's pretty crazy that was so specific and i was like okay and then he goes yeah actually my dad created an apparatus with our hands where i could put my feet in and i could lean forward so i could do the lean i was like okay this is crazy because i don't believe that that's something that you google and i don't feel like he's like i don't think this is a situation we told one person and the person told the producer unless maybe it's a story he told the producers and the producers told the psychic but that's crazy yeah that was nuts and then they make him do the michael jackson dance and stuff so he does that and so tiffany's like okay you uh mj um i think it's your dad and i'm seeing rings and she's like oh my god my dad gave me a ring and i gave it to my son and i was like you can't take this out of the house but then he did take it out of the house and he lost the ring and then he cried and he cried for like an hour and a half and then it ended up being in his shoe and it wasn't even lost she goes no no no a ring camera tommy is throwing a plant

42:13um and then she looks at reza she goes and reza your dad has passed as well were you the first in your family to get a white car and then he tells a story about how he wanted a convertible he wanted a black bmw and his dad was like you're getting a white 535i he forced me to get a white car how did you know and that for anybody who does not know is very Persian. It's a very Persian thing to have a white BMW or white Mercedes. Especially Mercedes. My friend Mike who's Persian, one of my besties is always, we're always talking about that and laughing because all his friends show up. Every time we have a big event and it's all his Persian friends come, it's all like these white Mercedes and BMWs pulling up.

42:55So funny. It's like he made me get a white one. I didn't even want one and he said black, no, white, that's so Persian. yeah so he's basically he says that has his dad had dementia and so like you know it's nice he feels comforted thinking or imagining that his dad is in a better place in a better state and channeling through this medium i told you so about the car yeah so then uh now it's time to talk about uh tannin and tiffany is saying um her this is more generic she's saying like well i know you guys didn't see eye to eye on a lot of things but you need to know he loved you and you're always daddy's girl i was like okay that one that was like whatever that's classic psychic stuff like that one was not as exciting to me but the others the others were great and then she gets to omir finally so she's like i feel a strong energy coming from you and natasha starts crying and she's like okay it was a sudden passing and i think it's a younger female suddenly passing and natasha's getting nervous and tiffany says and when she comes through she just says you need to know how much I love you and I'm sorry I didn't mean to go when I did and everyone's crying now and now she's acknowledging a wedding is this your wife?

44:09He's like yeah and she goes because she loves you, she loves you, she thinks you're a great wife and she says you're a good fit for him and she's also showing me that it was unexpected when she passed and he said that yeah she had cancer but it wasn't like a hospital bed or anything, she just like collapsed and passed away Yeah that's so sad and I mean this is all this is very nice and then she's saying I'm getting something about a giraffe like does your daughter like giraffes and like the daughter loves giraffes this is the the dead wife playing with the daughter through the giraffe and everything it's all it's like they're like everyone's like crying and I'm sitting there watching like I was practically crying too and I wasn't because I was like how many mediums are we going to have in one week enough enough with all of our dead relatives just leave me a little I'm watching Bravo.

44:59Can I enjoy myself? Can we fight each other now? What the fuck? So, yeah, it was just, it was sort of all this stuff. Like, she's telling me, like, I'm with you. I'm happy. I'm proud of you. This was also actually a bit, like, standard psychic stuff. Like, I'm proud of you. I love your choices. You're doing the right things. I'm with you. And da, da, da, da, da. But you can see it's, like, very comforting to them. And it's still, like, a very emotional situation to be in. And when you said that, like, she just, like, collapsed and died. That was so heartbreaking. So there's, like, hugs. I like when she was like, guys, I'm seeing someone through.

45:30This is for someone named Tree. I don't know. But it's an older man. And he's saying, give me back my pajamas. Wrong show. Wrong show. OK. It's just like a general Bravo. No, no. Just accidentally winds up. He's like, I tried the wrong person. He's waving an octopus in the air. I'm not sure.

46:02took a wrong turn sorry okay so now um there is a song playing once you go person baby ain't no other version so i like um and now mj facetimes tommy and he's like yeah i'm having the best time like is this playoff some with the kid she's like yeah but while you're home relaxing i'm just like trying to say Reza and I got to a place where it's respectful and maybe like there's an icebreaker coming and he's like nah this is where I'm at I'm hanging with my kid all right I ain't doing nothing beyond this so forget it but you can forgive each other he's like nah love you hope you have fun look forward to seeing you tomorrow uh I'm gonna watch this movie with my kid leave me the fuck alone Reza has a level of compatibility that he talks to my wife in public that I just don't accept.

46:50I'd rather not partake. For me, on Monday, you said terrible things, but Tuesday, we're going to go to lunch. That's not how I operate because I have lunch plans with Vita where I say, you're fucking crazy, Vita. Okay, so lunch is off the table. I always keep them at arm's length, and I'm talking big arms, like Mr. Met kind of arms. That's just me. That's how I operate. I already got one crazy. I already got one crazy lady in my life. I don't need two. All right. Leave me alone. So then MJ is about to cry over it. And then we see Gigi coming out already and RJ being like, oh, yeah, yeah. So hot.

47:28I'm like, guys, I'm not believing you two. Just don't even try for the show. It's not worth it. Nobody needs it. So now we go to dinner. It's Adam's birthday. They give him a cheers. And the guys are wondering who's got the good cologne because the entire restaurant's turning around to smell it. And Greg's like, oh, yeah, I have a natural pheromone that lures women in. They call me at two in the morning. Tannen's like, it's a pheromone called gross. That's what it's called. So Adam's like, by the way, is anything happening with you and RJ, Gigi? Oh, my God. Like, I ship you guys. And Gigi's like, we're in Palm Springs.

48:07It's 127 degrees. Like, I cannot even think about fucking this man right now. Oh, and Rez is like, yeah, but what does that have to do with RJ nibbling on your titties? So they get to this restaurant, 849. This is where they got married. And Adam's like, so this year, Rez and I will be married for 10 years. And we'll be together for 15 and making tabouli for three. So it's a really special anniversary for us. He brings out the best in me. Like, he has the best temperament. like if we were if i were married to me we'd be like shooting a daylight special but like one of us would be in jail and like the other one would be like bitches would be dead because i killed the other me and other me wins over other me oh my god bitches be winning so gg's been calling natasha and she's not answering and they're like it's she's got babies leave her alone and uh reza's like oh my god i'm seriously impressed she's got three under six i'm gonna say that a lot because it's the valley and they're the nice couple three under six so gg's like you guys the medium went in on the situation with like a mirror like yeah like i wanted to hug him like so many times and they start talking about that and everything all of a sudden you hear this like bang bang bang bang bang and it's dennis has walked in and he's surprising them and says no one's looking at him he literally raps on the table and they're like whoa it was like the traders someone coming in at breakfasts oh well i got a bag full of dildos here who wants one like oh god where'd this fucking guy come from and at first they're thinking he just happens to be in palm springs and res is like what the fuck is he doing here like dennis and gulnessa got married and then there was a huge betrayal he bought a house at seven percent interest he didn't use his blinker but i got over it so they need to get over it and RJ is like she paints this whole picture of Dennis being the villain but like she's also the villain and she admitted to hooking up with Dennis just to get back at her ex so they're just playing each other's games wow so he joins them for dinner and they're like what the fuck is this guy doing so like so you just came up and they're like so is this all it takes, Golnesa?

50:22I mean what the hell he sent you a Mother's Day text, that's all you need and she's like no, I mean yeah he did but then I started unloading on him and I went outside and I threatened to punch a wall. And, you know, then we went back inside and they were mopping the other walls and we've talked in person and it all worked out. By the way, were you as surprised as I was that Dennis had hair? I just assumed he was bald. There was part of me that wonders, is that like a unit that he has on top of his head? Because it kind of looks like focaccia. It literally looks like a nice, like brown focaccia on his head walking around, you know?

50:55It might be because I think he's like drawing in his eyebrows. Like there's a lot odd going on with this guy. Yeah. So MJ is like, as someone who cares about Golnesa, I don't like the way you stepped in and out of her life so quickly without any explanation. Because like I've been there with you, Dennis, since Elijah's third, fourth birthday. And that's what I'm talking about. I want you to know the reason it was easy for me to ice you out and ghost you is because I thought what you did to Golnesa was cruel. So for you to just slide into this dinner spot with us is zero accountabilities. accountabilities and yeah i did learn how to call someone out at a table on the traders congratulations it's new mj he's like well i mean come on but let me ask you something were you there for the first 13 years when she was horrible to me and was she tweeting me like shit where were you guys oh then why'd you marry her shut up and they're not your friends and uh gg's like i was not tweeting you like shit for 13 years and he's like hold on gg hold on let me take care of this and ressa goes but she's my homie like i'm not your homie why am i gonna stick up for you like if she commits a crime and like i'm in the courtroom she's my homie like i either forgot i was looking the other way when the gun went off like what mj's like i want you to be accountable for today 2025 also known as 2025 and i don't want to go back to 2015 he's like why because i don't like the way that you're casual and unaccountable for the things that you were doing to people that you claim to care about and he's like okay that's how you feel i don't feel that way i see that it's just funny because they're having a whole confrontation with this guy but like to us as the viewers this is like an unearned fight and we're just like oh this is the guy who's sitting here and they're already just like they're like they're telling him how it is they're sassing him off but like we only just learned that they don't like him like 10 minutes ago so i'm like uh okay i guess we're supposed to be fired up by this and gg's like Like, well, 127 % of me is enjoying all of this because it's like a fuck you to Dennis.

52:55And it's like for him to understand, like, I'm not the only one who thinks it was fucked up. And Dennis is like, look, at the end of the day, you get nothing for nothing. And that's all you can say for the life of people with wigs on the head. And I still don't feel what I did was wrong. I mean, that girl wasn't a friend. So who cares if I fucked her? Like, what an idiot this guy is. He's, like, completely missing the point. So MJ's like, okay, but you still left her. And he's like, so? Then she goes, so you got together with somebody two seconds later. Okay. And then you shacked up and then you put rings on Instagram.

53:25I mean, the way you look for the gram, that's something else. And that's coming from a Shaw. And what does marriage mean to you that you get engaged four times in one year? Honestly, I don't even care. That's my understanding. There you go. That's it. That's all it is. It's like, and Gigi's like, what? So everyone's horrified that he doesn't even care about this. And MJ goes, that's what the problem is. And Skye is like, my question is, why are you here? I know why I'm here. I got dragged here. And for a moment, I thought it might actually be better than the fucking valley. But it's actually worse.

53:55But why did you choose to come join us? And who are you even? Why are you here? And do you know where there's an air one? If you're leaving soon, can I bum a ride with you? He's like, look, you guys have been asking me questions. I already had this conversation with Golnesa. And RJ is like, wait, hold on. She knew you were coming. Yes, Nami. Are you just... Hello? So, they're like all appalled. And Russ is like, you're going to bring Dennis and not tell anybody? Are you nuts? Like, it was my husband's birthday. You know how big of a deal this was going to be for me? Like, I'm pissed, bitch. Like, this is crazy.

54:34You almost ruined Adam's happy tabooly day. You almost ruined Adam's non-milestone birthday at a restaurant where he got a cake with nice frosting. Adam's like, I'm kind of bothered you didn't tell me this was coming because I would have made a larger bowl of tabbouleh. And she's like, well, I didn't want to tell anybody because I wanted to have a scene. He's back in my life and we're going to start working. And at some point, he has to come across to all of you and he has to address you and Reza and MJ at some point. And I thought this would be the moment that we would do it. So now they're like, oh my God.

55:08But Amir and Natasha show up and they're like the nice ones. So it's like, okay. so Gigi starts like they change the vibe changes and she's like you guys are like goals for marriage oh my god and then they realize that like there's tension at the table so I mean I was like oh my god we came at the worst time and then Tennant's like no no you came at a good time there's some stupid persons at the end of the table with focaccia on his head starting shit but like honestly it's really boring yeah so out comes the drag queen with the rainbow cake and they sing birthday the birthday song to him and stuff and gg's like oh my god you guys if he smashes the cake in dennis's face will that be good payback like should we do that and rj's like don't do that that's aggressive dennis like i feel like how i feel because she was so hurt and i experienced her hurt she slashed my tires when she was mad at you he's like i understand that but you guys ambushed me he's like no we didn't ambush you you ambushed us look i'm bouncing in my chair like baby shams was when he was one years old and i didn't get to see him he's like if she's okay with me being here then you should guys should be okay and mj's like no it's not okay so gg says well i think that they need to realize that you're going to be back in my life whether we're working friends or whatever we are and what i'm asking you is if you're comfortable with me telling them my side of this since you already got to tell your side now i want to tell my side man i don't want you piping in because you're gonna start piping in if you start telling your side and i'm not gonna be able to take you piping now gg's getting herself all worked out for nothing she's like mad she's and so he's like so and now are you comfortable she goes it's either a yes or no i was like what are you what is happening why are you screaming about this and the drag queen's so Dennis is like okay well tell your side first so you don't retaliate on what I said because I don't want you to go piggybacking off what I'm saying because like you say you're first and I'm always the fucking retaliation bro so go fuck with whatever it's the best like you go first no you go first because I don't want you to have to say what I said but I don't know so Reza's like did you not see the cake there was a gay rainbow and it was in the shape of a heart and the heart had to bully on it a drag queen brought it this is sacrilegious keep the straight nonsense at home and she's just like i don't want to fight i don't want to fight i just want to smoke i just want to smoke like what are you even mad at you're the you're you caused all this and now you're mad at nothing you crazy pants two-bit improv scene that was happening so that's where She says she's mad because Dennis won't take accountability.

57:49I'm like, neither will you, you fucking weirdo. My God, she's so annoying, but you know, she's keeping it moving, I guess she's trying. She's trying. Um, but yeah, that was the episode. So, um, yeah, we'll see what happens next. Well, next week they get into a car accident while they go racing cars. So great. Uh, we'll see how that turns out. Thanks everyone for being here. We love you all. Have a great weekend. Go check out our Patreon and go buy tickets to the crappies. And we will talk to you again on Monday. Bye. Bye. Watch what crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alison King.

58:28It's always a party on Alison block. Our way is the Amber way. It's the foster and the furious. It's Amanda Foster. It's always automatic with Ashley auto. Put your hands together for Carly clap. Get on the right foot with Chrissy off it. She's not just a Sheila. She's a Daniela. It's all. We never miss her call. It's Diane Call. Sunday in the Park with Dylan Clark. Big yay, it's Emily Gauthier. Erin McNicholas. She don't miss no trick-a-less. Hava Nagila Weber. You'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones. I go, you go, we all go for Hugo. Jamie. She has no less name-y. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trotch.

59:08She's our favorite streamer, Caroline Peacock. Kristen the Piston Anderson. Get a bee in your bonnet with Lacey B. Que sera, sera, whatever will be, will Lauren Sills be. She gets an A from us, it's Lindsay D. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McHenry. Aren't you glad it's Marianne Arns? Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the berg. This is Livin' with Michelle Vivian. I love a ya, Olivia Williamson. She sure is swell, it's Raquel. Yes we canna, it's Sadana. Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman Let's share with Sharon Eldridge Darn Skippy, it's Tippi And our super premium sponsors Make way for AJ Lopez Happy are we, it's Allison with an I She's VVIP, it's Amanda V Can't lose when you're with Amy Baldwin Somebody get us 10 cc's of Betsy MD We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva Let's get real with Caitlin O 'Neill Put us on a stretcher, it's Charlotte Fletcher Don't get salty with Christine Pepper Can't have a meal without the Emily Sides Who, what, why, where and Gwen Pentland Let's go into the woods with Guy Tubbs Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall We got our wish, it's Jen Plisch My favorite Murdo, Karen McMurdo She's a total knockout, it's Katie Manok Let's get savage with Laura Wildman In the study with a candlestick, it's Leslie Peacock We're ride or die for Lisa Ryder-Baron She's a whiz, it's Liz Sarthy Always killing it, it's Lola Alkalani The Incredible Edible Matthews Sisters She eases our woes, it's Melissa St.

1:00:49Rose There's a chance of meatballs, it's Rebecca Cloud Maximum love for Sandy Maximoska She's the Queen Bee, it's Sarah Lemke We cannot tell a lie, it's Sarah Talafson Shannon, out of a cannon, Anthony Please don't stop, it's Soli and Pop Let's take off with Tam La Plaine You'll always get the full story with Tori Parsons. She ain't no shrinking Violet Kuchar. We love you guys.