#3192 Southern Charm S11E09 Part Two: Just EscarGOT

0:22Hi everyone, welcome back. This is part 2 of a two-part recap. if you're wondering where part one was well go check in the feed and be sure to subscribe so that way you always get your episodes but enough of that let's get right back into the episode so um he's saying yeah well i just wish we had more time to hang out because like you know i just know like if i like someone quickly and she goes i mean said why and he's like so you're saying that we both like each other and then they laugh and she goes i mean so you want to do this again right i mean i'm just kidding but like you do right he said yeah you're kind of special wink quink charm charm um which is cute sorry you fell in love with me it's all my fault i mean this was kind of a cute scene except that he shows up later being like but yeah but like why do girls think i like him like why do i have to like start dating him right away like why do they get the impression i want to date him instead of just fucking him like uh because you do shit like this where you're like he i just want to be in a relationship right away i sure know what i like and it's you and then the next scene he's like i just but now am i gonna give her the wrong impression if i just want to fuck her yeah right and this is on the heels of him complaining about page he's essentially saying page was dangling a carrot in front of him by saying yeah we'll get married in one day when he's actively dangling a carrot now with this girl um but you know it was page's fault in this situation not craig's fault you know that's where the that's where the pop psychology ends is when dealing with with page um so now we go to molly's house and she's just doing her normal thing which is rearranging and moving her piles of junk and snake stuff around like in her hoarder house so she's yeah she's in her hoarder house uh i like her piano setup that it's right under the tv you know you gotta it's a good space saver i've never really thought about that and um she pulls out a plastic bag with a weave in it and she's like oh this is my weave from America's Next Top Model.

2:18Yeah, I didn't need to sniff that. I don't know why I did that. Puts it back. And her mom calls her. She's like, hey, honey, you had any babies yet? She's like, no, mom. I'm just like, God, what are you doing? She's like, I'm going to play bridge with these goddamn old people taking up all the parking spaces in the senior center. Fucking old people. Sick of them. I got to go find another parking spot. She's like, well, since you called, I'd like to invite you and dad to this little set that Keith and I are playing in a couple weeks and she's like, I'm just having a couple people over. It's the annual Molly drags everyone to listen to or do something with music thing.

2:55And this is better though than the euphonium concert. The euphonium concert where Shep sat there in the audience and used his fingers like a little conductor thing. Yes!

3:10Not a kiss concert, Shep. Tori Adora Gars-a-Gars-a-Gars So Molly Gars-a-Gars Gars-a-Gars Gars-a-Gars White is my favorite song Gars-a-Gars Gars-a-Gars Gars-a-Gars Gars Oh, I love the holidays When I can go and see the Gars Cracker Gars-a-Gars Gars-a-Gars Gars-a-Gars Gars-a-Gars Gars-a-Gars Tats of the Sugar Gars Fairies

3:43he just inserts the garsh in that one he doesn't even replace anything he replaced the plum oh yeah he did replace the plum i always replace the palm plum so molly says yeah like i'm into my concert and and her mom says oh honey i can't wait we'll be cheering for you i've oh i'm always i've always every time you've sung anywhere i've always i've always been so proud of you and i'm so proud of you for doing this you know until you were in Greece in 10th grade, we had never heard you sing. Oh, Mom, I don't think I was in Greece. No, that time that you spilled all that vegetable oil on yourself and you began singing.

4:19We thought that was strange, but you had a beautiful voice covered in Greece. I just wish your first public song hadn't been about abortion. Mom, that wasn't even me playing Rizzo. Well, that girl was talented.

4:34So you were in Greece? Yes, Mother God. Y 'all just assumed I was in group choir And I assumed I sucked And she's like no we didn't assume you sucked I mean we had a pretty good idea you sucked We didn't quite realize We thought all that time you really did try to go to beauty school And then when you dropped out We were actually secretly very happy That was just a song apparently That was Frenchie Mother Okay so that girl was talented too Who were you in Grease again? were you the donna manoff character i love it well you didn't really stick with it and you know the one thing that worried about is with you it worries us about you is that sometimes you don't stick with things okay like cleaning cleaning your house you maybe stick with that do something i should remember you couldn't even stick to washing your hair remember when you were in that choir and everybody just kind of kept moving away from you because your hair smelled you've given in the way that we've right ronnie i have to stop everything i have to stop everything of course i mentioned dina manoff appropriately okay so here we go we're going into a dina manoff sings greece or what are you gonna go through a song list i'm stopping everything and i think this happened last year but i'm just you know dina manoff was in greece so that was a that was an authentic reference and then i thought why do i have this weird tingle in myself that like today is diana manoff's birthday so i typed in when is diana manoff's birthday and her birthday is january 25th so her birthday was four days ago but more importantly diana manoff was born on watch what Crappens' birthday.

6:24Oh, wow. That's crazy. How did we never know that we shared the same birthday as Dinah Manoff? I don't know, but that's hilarious. Now we need to look up everybody. Nell Carter's birthday. January 25th. Nell Carter was September 13th. So she's not born on her birthday, but she is a fellow Virgo. So good for her. Who else do we have? Park overall. Yep. Okay. Mary Tyler Moore. Oh, no, that was deaths. Sorry. Oh, gosh. Jeez, man. Well, that's too bad. Sorry. I'm like, wow, because it's at 2017. Okay, let's get out of the deaths. Let's go to the, let's, okay. Who do we have? Okay, Ariana DeBose, right?

7:06Oscar winner. These are the young people right now. I'm in the, the, the, the young, you got to get past the young people because no one cares about the young celebrities, right? Alicia Keys. Don't really care about that. Oh my God, Frankie Grande. Okay, you know what? We shouldn't keep looking at this yet. We do have Mary Lee Retton. Justin Baldoni. Wow, we've got a controversial birthday. We really do. Wow. Anna Ortiz. It's okay. I feel like even Chomsky. I was hoping that we'd have some really good ones. Listen, we got Donna Manoff and that's all that matters, right? Terry Coon. Whoa. yeah that's a good one okay i don't know a lot of these people honestly um but that's pretty good dina manoff i'll take dina manoff i think that yeah i think dina manoff and jennifer lewis will make me gloria nailer that's pretty good yeah okay i love that book um molly's like um they're talking about her singing and how she doesn't stick with anything and then we see a clip of how she doesn't stick to things when she was at that baby shower and she didn't go to her concert because she wanted to hang out with cory keifer who's so cory keifer so disgusting and she's like i'm gonna get fired from the band he's like oh what time are you supposed to be there 15 minutes ago

8:37so she's like i think it's also i just i don't have a lot of confidence in myself to do things And I'm just like, I could do that. But would I be great at it? Would it really work out? So I think I like let that little voice in my head stop me from doing a lot of things that would be fun, you know? And so her cat, Robert Downey Jr., just stares at her like, here's something you could finish. Making me dinner, bitch. Come on. Yeah. So she is going to do that. So now let's go to Craig's house. He got a package. And, of course, you know, he has an assistant. So he's like, Jack. So Jack comes in and they realize that shampoo or something has spilled all over the box.

9:16And so Jack's like, oh, God, I'll take care of that. And Craig's like, what even is this box? I don't know. Like, you literally order so much shit. I mean, every day is like a TikTok purchase in the mailbox. It's just funny. It's just funny because Craig is like bragging about how last week he's like, I just live a different lifestyle now. Like, I pick up after myself. I'm clean now. And now he like orders some shampoo from Amazon and it comes exploded. And instead of just taking it over to the sink and washing it off, he's like, Jack. And then Jack comes, takes the shampoo, runs it under the faucet.

9:55That's right next to Craig. And they're like, it's back. Look at these. These are little bee baths because sometimes the bees like go into the pool to get water and then they drown in it. So this is so they have a convenient place to get water. And Jack's like, I didn't know that bees drink water. Yeah, well, that's why I'm rich and you're not. We really should have seen the signs that Craig and Sally weren't going to work out now that we have a full vision of birds and bees dying in the pool.

10:25It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappens commercial. So Whitney calls Craig and invites him to dinner for Austin's birthday. and he's like, well, I'd love for you to come. I mean, I don't know what the status of your relationship is, but if you want to come, you should come. Core four, core four. And he's like, yeah, our status changes every day of the week with that guy. So he's like, yeah, Austin and I's value system is very different. I mean, at its core, like it leads to a lot of arguments between us. I'm someone who cares about bees having a water source. austin's not do you wonder if it's like he's it's a veiled way of saying their politics because craig is no i don't think conservative right i think they're i think they're both pretty conservative i mean they had tomi lauren on their podcast i don't think you get more conservative than that yeah but i get the sense that like i don't know i'm actually i don't know what i forget what austin's politics are but i get the sense that craig is like pretty he's pretty right wing so I wonder when he talks about his value do we think that when he's saying our value system is he making code for their politics or is he just speaking I think he's saying because he looks at himself as someone who like can go sober for five minutes to impress a girl and he's in monogamy monogamous relationship like he's looking for a monogamous relationship and Austin's just never looking for a monogamous relationship he just wants to fuck around and pretend he's in a monogamous relationship so he can continue to cheat and then you know Craig is very successful and Austin's business failed because Austin's like a fuck boy and Craig's like a very mature adult I think in Craig's mind because Craig is aspiring to mature and grow and have a family and Austin's still just like fucking around yeah just fun to think that like maybe it's a political disagreement that's I don't think they think about politics very much those two I would say I don't I don't really think they put that much thought into it but who knows?

12:30I think he's just like, I'm better than Austin in every way. I have a house, I have a business and I always have a girl, Lena, like a steady girlfriend and he's a loser. Austin doesn't respect my value system just because he wants to do things that I might not do it. That's on him. And then when he's like, Craig could just be a bully. I mean, he thinks he knows right and then he's like, fuck you. And then the next day he's like your best friend. And then Austin, he holds grudges so it just becomes like a circle jerk of stupidity and acrimony that just keeps on festering. It's like, well, that is fair.

13:00That is a very good way to put it. A circle jerk of stupidity and acrimony that keeps on festering. Yeah, that's perfect. Well, who else is coming? Just a core four. Just a core four, bro.

13:14So now he's talking to Jack about the exploded shampoo and that Austin, he's been invited to Austin's birthday and he was like, I don't know if I want to come by, but I'm like, am I invited or not? Well, he's probably worried about you and Austin Craig. Yeah, that's what it sounded like. I mean, how was he at Rodrigo's party, Craig? Well, we didn't talk. I mean, we said hi, but I just stayed away because I'm an addict and I have to stay away from Austin. He's a bad influence on me. Well, it would just be weird if you didn't go, especially with a date or something. I mean, I could clear my schedule if you want.

13:54All right, I'll go alone. things jack jack is like putting on little pearl earrings alone and like little satin gloves licking himself i was hoping we could watch the season finale of heated rivalry together but if you gotta go to austin's birthday a few stolen moments is all that i have

14:22gotcha grill 225 craig comes at first i was like have we gone to this restaurant what did we go there when we were in charleston it looks very familiar but i think all of the restaurants look like that all the steakhouses look like this like real old timey i know it actually made me want to go to one i was like this looks like a really fun dinner actually and i kind of want to put on like a blazer um and go get like a martini and get you know creamed spinach and the steak and like i really i really wanted to like i was sitting there watching it and i was mentally saying to myself am i going to be putting together um a steakhouse dinner tonight this is a great story for everyone listening so congratulations you know go for a steakhouse it looked oppressive to me i felt like This is a place that will not have a vegetarian option just to be dicks.

15:13Even if you get a baked potato, they'll be like, it was cooked in duck fat. They'll just fuck it up just to piss you off. But this is a nouveau riche steakhouse. Because an old school proper steakhouse that this one's trying to pretend to be would never have a nitro-tini that has a sticker label that says, Warning! On it. That's just like gauche. An old school steakhouse would be able to make the martinis and you don't have to rely on a gimmick. But this one's like the Cold Stone ice cream of martinis. So they have a whole funky thing. I don't know that I want to drink that. Right. Like we see them making it and they're just pouring the liquid nitrogen into the drink.

15:52Is that is that something that people drink? I mean, I guess I don't I don't get like to me at a certain point. Cold is cold. I don't need it to be colder than that. Yeah. Ice is fine. Yeah. Ice is OK. okay so um specifically now and only in a martini and nowhere else yeah so uh the bartender is like hey so you're having a martini Whitney okay you want olives or twist and he's like oh yeah thank you thank you that sounds great and Craig goes no olives or a twist he's like oh sorry I thought he said Oliver twist I'm a fucking idiot I don't know but it's changing I mean they're putting nitro and shit, what do I know what they're calling it?

16:32The bartender gives Whitney such an evil look. When you step into the house of the nitro-tini, you listen. Okay? I asked you a question. Respect the nitro-tini. So Shep comes in and their roommate stint is already over, which is kind of a waste. I thought this was going to be a storyline, guys. So, nope, Shep's already gone. And he's like, do you miss me, Craig? yeah like it was hard to transition having a roommate but then now i miss you because i got used to you and now you're not here anymore

17:07shep laughed it's all my fault so um shep dropped in shows shep sorry shep dropped an egg on my carpet it's all my fault wait a minute i didn't do that yes you didn't it's all my fault how are you going to not take responsibility but take responsibility for not taking responsibility quirk shep committed a federal crime and snuck into my mail and squashed my shampoo and then taped it back up again so we wouldn't know it's all my fault so uh austin shows up at this nice place in shorts like i can't that this is why this is why half the women of charleston need to leave so that way the men start actually you know putting an effort into going out into public because this is just unacceptable.

17:56And in fact, they all give them shit. Like, you are in shorts in this nice steakhouse. It's my birthday. It's my birthday. Chop's like, gosh, Tommy Bahama is here. As if they all don't wear Tommy Bahama. Let's also be honest. No. Well, I never have an over-the-top celebration. I don't like it. I want to get together with some friends. I mean, well, actually, frenemies at this point. um so uh so we know we get a reminder that craig call or sally we have a reminder that sally told austin that craig called him his enemy and um austin is looking at this gift because uh um whitney got him like some booze and austin's like oh if i open this is it gonna be like half drank and when he's like no no it's all it's all packaged she's like i believe you thanks everyone okay it's still wrapped it's still wrapped you can open it you can see the packaging it's like oh yeah look at that oh the card uh miss patricia thank you so much for having me over oh thanks thanks whitney it's great thanks for the gratitude uh congratulations on uh having a girl hey gosh you should get a nitro teeny they said that we are contractually obligated to order six Nitro Teenies have mentioned on TV before we get our free side of mashed potatoes.

19:15Austin's 38 today. We did 38 push-ups at the gym. Shep did not do 38 push-ups. I don't believe it. I don't believe that. Whitney's like, I can maybe do two push-ups. They just all stare at him and it's quiet for a minute. And Austin goes, we know. We know, dude. We know. So then They all sit down in their little shell, their bubble, which may be just to shield the other diners from seeing Austin in shorts. And they all arrange themselves. Oh, this is amazing. Oh, I'm not used to getting like, I'm not used to getting men birthday presents. Oh, God. Presents are just for pussy women, right? Normalized birthday presents.

20:03By the way, sorry about that bottle of booze that we got you. didn't mean it for it to be leaking, but Jack wasn't here to clean it up. It's okay. It's okay. Jack comes over in a waiter costume and he's like, yes, Craig. Here, far, wherever you are. Get him out of here, Craig. All right. Well, Craig, thank you. This is a beautiful, beautiful bow tie. Craig has given him a bow tie made out of feathers. I don't know. I think you need other things to go with that, right? I don't think you can. if you're going to go as bold as feathers, you need matching something to go with that. But what a nice, what a nice thought.

20:44No, this was not, this was Craig bought something off of Facebook marketplace or saw an ad and he didn't like the way it looked. So he re gifted it to Austin. I guarantee it. Yeah. So, so we gift bird, bird centered bow tie. So, okay. Well, I'm excited to have us all dinner together. Yeah. Yeah. We've been friends for a long time. Okay, well, I'm going to just skip over that and not say anything sarcastic. So one mistake first. I knew Shep first, and then I met you two very soon thereafter. And I remember Craig said to me, are you friends with Shep? And I said, yeah. And he said, would you want to become best friends just to piss him off?

21:26It's insane right now, Craig. Yeah, that's the first time we met each other. Oh, gosh, I knew it. Thanks for verbalizing it. I'm sure that occurred. You know, Craig and Austin, their natural default setting is to just enjoy each other's company. There's so much history. And how could you not smile and laugh and reminisce? That's how I see it. But what do I know? I'm just a boy. Okay, well, I have a preposition or a proposition or a preparation age. You can use preposition. Okay, I'm going to use, I'm going to propose a preposition. Do you have a suppository? Not yet. I say in this moment, which is like really awesome that the four of us are here.

22:11Wait, Jack, what are you doing here? Oh, sorry. I thought I could maybe join the boys table. I'll get back to work. Apologies. Okay. Now that's back to just the four of us. We've been through so much. And tonight, let's just keep it positive and fun and uplifting. Even you, Austin, you piece of shit. Austin's like, oh yeah, Craig, Mr. Positive Conover. That's what we all say about Craig when he's not here. Yeah, this guy, Mr. Positive. That's insane right now. Thank God for covering the tannish room. All right, well, we got more glasses, so we should make another toast. Who wants to do the cheers this time?

22:45And Shep's like, oh, it's my turn. Okay.

22:52Friendships, fart ships, ship ships. I got an opium bed. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers to that. So now there's more appetizers that are coming out and also move the crab, move the crabs to Shep's pants where they belong.

23:16So Craig, Craig, I'm curious. This is total curiosity. How'd your day go with Charlie? Yeah, were there fireworks? Did you guys consummate? I'm curious, tell me everything. So Craig's like, well, for one, it was awesome for one. And it was like a lot of fun. But like, is it okay to hang out with her a couple of times? Or like, do I have to make a decision now? Like, I don't know. Like, I'm overthinking this a lot. Like, because like the last thing I want to do is like have Charlie drop her guard and then me realize I don't like her. Yeah, then maybe you shouldn't have laid it on so thick on the date, Craig.

23:54You fuck. What if she realizes, you know, that she doesn't like you? It's like, yeah, that's never happened. I mean, give her some credit, Craig. Craig? It's like, well, I mean, I'm just trying to say, like, you know, like, I should not start going on dates with someone because it might not work out. I'm like, you don't want to hurt her. So, like, should I just kill it now? They're like, why don't you just have sex for a while, Craig? And he's like, but how do I do that without having to lead them on? I don't know. Maybe don't tell them that you're a relationship person. All you want is a relationship.

24:25You know, when you like someone right away, you really like her and you hope that you can do this again multiple times and have babies together at the oyster farm. okay yeah and that when you date someone you're only thinking about the end game of getting married maybe that's a good way to not hurt someone as much but yeah he's already just looking for um an excuse to get out of this he's laying the groundwork to dump her so that's why he that way he can say i mean this is what i said all along i don't want something serious that's why i said i want to get married to her he's also setting it up to be like where he's leading her to believe he only wants something serious, which he did do.

25:00And then he's, when she's acting like she wants something serious and he doesn't want it anymore, it's going to be like, oh my God, look at her. She's trying to get serious so fast and make her look fucking crazy. It's like typical, it's typical man book, but it's typical, it's typical Craig. Typical. It's typical Southern charm for sure. Yeah. Shep is like, gosh, Craig is very much like a middle schooler when it comes to dating. He's sort of sweet and innocent in this weird way. And I'm a caveman that Sanji says, Come home with me with your pretty little fricking lip. So then Austin's like, whoa, plunge pool.

25:34Come see my plunge pool. So Austin is like, oh my God, there are doubles in there. It's like, there are mushrooms. Well, what exactly have I been eating? Mushrooms? He thinks he's eating escargot. He's like, oh, I'm going to have another escargot. I've had like 20 of them. They're like, well, no, you've been eating the mushrooms. He's like, oh, mushrooms. Yeah. So I've been eating mushrooms. Yeah. And Whitney goes, anyone have a hand sanitizer? Just go wash your hands. Austin has to go to the restroom anyway. He's like, I do. Let's go together. Commercials. Here comes one right now. So those two boys go to the bathroom together.

26:19And then in the hallway, Austin's like, oh, Craig is like, let's be friends. Let's have fun. Okay, man, for sure. but like he's got a couple things to answer for but I'm not bringing it up because I want to eat my fucking dinner today before we start fighting yeah they're like we're getting a free meal at this place because we ordered three nitro teenies so let's get the most out of it before the fight fighting begins so then this is where the waiter comes over with this enormous pepper grinder I mean this place is so silly this is this is kind of like the Disneyland version of like a nice steakhouse at this point because everything is so cartoony so Now this guy's coming over with this pepper grinder, and they're all cracking up.

26:58And Craig is like, hey, this is your present, Austin. Look at the size. Look at this huge. Whoa, look at the size of that thing. Oh, it's crazy. It's a thing right now. It probably costs like$500 for that pepper grinder, too, I'd like to add. Yeah. Guys, I really want you to know I appreciate you. And we get to have dinner together. But maybe I have hated some of you. Mostly me. Yeah, mostly. And it's always good to have your friends together. but keep your enemies closer. Right, guys? Toast. And Whitney's like, what? How are we your enemies? And Craig's like, wait, are we your enemies? Well, I mean, we have been, Craig.

27:31We have been. But not anymore. Well, you told Sally I was your enemy. Didn't you just say you're not going to fight until after you ate? I know. Eat your food. Eat your food. There's still so much food on the table for you to spray on everyone. So then Craig is like, well, I told Sally. There's so much unchewed food that needs to be on people's faces, Austin. Craig's like, well, I only told Sally that you're my enemy because apparently you told her things I told you in confidence. You did not tell anything to him in confidence. You were screaming to a group of people in a bar about why Sally is the worst person you've ever met in your life.

28:11And I don't like you were just being shitty. And he told Sally because you were being shitty. i mean that was messy of austin to tell sally that i see but like doesn't like but like craig is equally messy but like that doesn't make uh austin his enemy i mean they're enemies yeah they're enemies but you know they're they're for enemies i guess that's good that's the best word so austin says you know well i'm just confused i feel manipulated um and when he's like what what the fuck are you two even talking about yeah but look last year you came to me we had a very serious conversation and you were like i have an addiction problem and now you're mr shot king he goes but why is that your problem he's like because you came to me with something very serious and then you turned the footing on me he's like no i didn't so austin's saying that you know craig knew that he had a lot of things to get off his chest and so craig used the alcoholism storyline to get austin to stop yelling at him which he did do but why isn't austin just saying that now he's not really wording it right in this argument he's like he's saying that you're pretending to be an alcoholic, but now you're having shots.

29:15That shouldn't be the fight. The fight should be like every time I have something to say to you, you act like a victim and then you pulled out an alcoholism storyline when you never took that seriously anyway. Yeah. Well, because the thing is this, I think they, they bring up a series of points here. Both of them do. And I think actually all their points are correct. I do think that Craig pulled the alcoholism card and I do think it's Craig's right to decide that if he wants to start drinking again, he's going to start drinking again. And like, he's allowed to do that. I don't think it's, I don't think it's actually like, like Austin's business, like how Craig decides he wants to handle alcohol or like what his relationship with alcohol is.

29:55But I do also think that Austin's right, that Craig was very convenient about bringing it up and using it to get out of arguments. And I do think that like Craig is slippery and it's like very frustrating for, for Austin. But I think that ultimately at its core, they're not Austin is not articulating what the real issue is, which is what you just said, which is that Craig gets out of tough situations by playing the victim. But then to be fair, Ronnie, it is his fault. It's all my fault. This manipulation at his finest. And he's like, there's no manipulation, buddy. I was going through a breakup.

30:29I started to hang out with pretty girls and going to the bar again until I got one that made me stop drinking again. So what does that have to do with anything? And he's like, don't buddy me, Craig. You manipulated me. Okay, so you saying that me coming to you and telling you about my drinking issues was about manipulating you? Yeah, that's what he's saying. Yeah, it was. And he's right. It was. Because you never even stopped drinking. You never even stopped drinking. You're like, well, I'm just having beer and wine now. You're still drinking. I'm a storyteller. But at the same time, he's allowed to keep drinking.

31:02We're actually not even upset that he keeps drinking. He is. It's not that. That's not even the point. It's just that he pulled out that storyline to get people off of his ass. And to prove it, he never even stopped drinking. So he wasn't really saying, I'm an alcoholic. He was saying, I'm saying I'm an alcoholic on camera so that you can't come after me on camera for the rest of the season. You look like a fucking monster, which is what Austin's trying to say without actually saying it. But it's failing. Right. And it also earned Craig a whole lot of compassion from the audience. Yes, they still get it.

31:30They're like, poor Craig, you know, his addiction. Craig has never stopped doing anything. Why are we... He was drunk in that scene. It's like Craig goes to AA, takes the chips, and runs the hell out of there without having earned them. He was literally drinking in that scene, right? Yes, he was wasted in that scene. So Shep is like, gosh, well, I think that Austin is like, I've been beleaguered by this relationship for years. And Austin's like, yeah, the fact that you don't see it, Craig is fucking insane right now. Jeff is like, oh yeah, gosh. But the most recent thing is wrong headed Austin.

32:05That's wrong. Nothing I do in my life is about you, buddy. Well, trust me. I know it's Craig's way or the absolute highway. Yeah. So Craig is like, you're only talking about my life, Austin. Why are you always obsessed with how I live my life? Just because I live my life in a great way. And I tell everyone they should be living their life like the way I do. And every time you make a decision, I say, wow, you're just doing that because you want to live like my life. because my life. And then he goes, then he goes low. He's like, so are you going to acknowledge that your life looks the same way it did five years ago?

32:36And he's like, what? I cannot believe you're actually saying that, Craig. And he's like, you haven't built anything. What have you even built, Austin? I know. But by the way, that could also be applied to everyone at that table. And Austin is like, and we're also forgetting to give Jerry a lot of the credit for your life. Because that man literally came in. I mean, come on now. And he's like, well, yeah, Yeah. So he's like, well, yes. He's like, well, my, and whoever cleans all the improperly cooked meat out of that grill. My beer company has not done what I want it to do. So you're going to trash me for it.

33:14And he's like, I'm not trashing it. I'm just asking you like, how do you feel that you're a failure? This was great that Austin said that because like, I feel like Austin doesn't have a lot of victim cards that he, that he plays or gets to play. And so this was a good one to play. You know, I mean, they all they all play victim cards all the time. But this was like a really good like my dream trop hop didn't work out the way I wanted it to. Because like, of course, it wasn't going to because there's nothing in the history of Austin that ever expressed that he would be someone who would be a professional success.

33:47I mean, has he ever had a job? I'm not sure. Like, what does he train for? What is his career? So why did we think that this beer was going to work? But that being said, for sure, play that card. He's like, what? I've tried to grow, but I didn't. I failed. I failed. You're gonna make fun of me for failing. wow, wow, guys, guys, stop it. We're friends. Stop this. You have nothing to show for the last five years of your life. And we all know that unless you have a girlfriend or a baby or a job, then therefore you might as well not even exist. You bitch about being friends with me. You're still friends with me.

34:20You bitch about your girlfriend. You're still with her. Your relationship affects everyone because you just take care of you. And it's like, oh, I told you. Have I talked to you once about it, Craig? Please come on. And he's like, yes. And he goes, no, I haven't. Yeah, you did before filming. And he's like, no, I didn't. And he said, yeah, you're a different person when you film. And Austin's like, oh, everyone knows you're a fucking liar, Craig. You're famous for lying. Yeah, and Craig's like, I'm the exact same person I am on camera. You're the liar. You're the liar. So I'm like, I'm getting overstimulated with too many voices.

34:51You're the liars of all the liars, Craig. So then he's like, the audacity that this guy has, what comes out of his mouth is completely like jaw dropping to me i'm like well we should talk about what comes out of your mouth specifically should we have a poncho right now or an umbrella what's the best what's the protection that we should have yeah these guys are all terrible and watching them call each other out is so funny because they're all right too you know that's me they've all got a point so austin's like oh my god the audacity he doesn't care about anyone but himself and on my birthday too well you started it to be fair and craig's like well you know you know you've said all of this before this and he's like oh really and so craig he's telling chef like craig why aren't you speaking up chef you said all this too and austin's like oh oh chef wants to be fucking switzerland then just let him be switzerland i'm not trying to be switzerland i'm trying to be cuba where i just went and learned spanish so they're like okay whatever and Austin's like look I do fucking hate you Craig I hate you I hate you and Whitney's like oh wait wait apologize to Craig right now apologize okay apologize and then we can make fun of him again okay apologize and he's like no I'm not gonna apologize wow do you know how fucked up you have to be in your head to scream that you hate someone like Shep and I have never said that to each other and me and Whitney have never said that to each other that's not a true friend I can't wait to open a restaurant with him three months ago that we've never mentioned.

36:18These guys are so weird. So Austin's like, you're a fucking asshole. Craig, all the time. Okay, then we don't need to be friends anymore. I assume you're going to keep the feather tie?

36:34And so it's over. That's it. And then we get the mid-season trailer and it looks pretty good. Yeah. Except that they're on another trip to make... It seems like they take the same vacation every year. I know that They weren't in Mexico last year, but it's always the same kind of beach vacation where they're trying to make stuff happen. It looks like the same vacation again for like five years in a row. But I know it's still interesting. Southern Charm and marriage medicine always go to the same places. They just rotate through the same resorts. Yeah. So that's it for Southern Charm today. We will be back tomorrow with Beverly Hills, the Valley, and the Traders.

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