#3194 RHOBH S15E07 Part Two: Haunting of Shrill House

0:20Well, hello and welcome to Watch What Happens. this is part two of a two-part recap if you're like hey wait a minute i didn't hear part one guys it's because we put out a lot of recaps go back and listen to part one okay it's before this one bye enjoy the show we were literally just talking about you mo and carl's like um have you ever met boss he's like no no i don't think we've ever met have you ever met giselle what a lady what a lady this is my husband mauricio some say the hottest husband on bravo we have our marriage is over now but before it was over it was the best marriage on bravo some people got a box from the knot that said so anyway mauricio what's going on with you well uh yeah it was great i was just having a meeting with my new saudi partner and we're opening a new agency in saudi and uh yeah you know what's great is coming on to tv and bragging about uh being associated with the Saudi Arabia.

1:17Great for business at all times.

1:21Are you kidding me? I mean, what does he have? What does he have me on find my, I mean, this town is too small for the both of us. That's God. By the way, that was Kyle ahead of time. Be like, Portia, I got to say something about your father running into me. What's an app that people use? That's about that. It's called find my. Thanks. What am I? I'm find my Mauricio. God. My fine mind's on fleek. So Mauricio sits down and Jarete's like, well, we were basically asking, have you thought about feeling? Have I thought about your feelings? No, feeling. Feeling like in croissants? I prefer my croissants plain.

2:04Fooing. Filing? No, no, I haven't thought about filing. Is that what she said? I don't do my own filing. I have secretaries. I literally haven't even asked them that so Dorit's asking that it's like crazy he's like well why Kyle did you ever think about it she's like um you have made me mad a couple of times does anyone know when Kyle is getting to the table I thought I was asking her a question but she's not even here

2:29hold on I found a trick just throw a napkin over the empty chair it's Kyle she's there so I love this pose goes Kyle has a napkin on her head she's like god damn it I'm not a ghost

2:47I hear that the way you can find the invisible man Is if you just throw water at him Just throwing water at Kyle I'm not invisible Stop dousing me Oh man, this conversation Maybe I just should have kept walking all the way to Saudi Arabia, right? Am I right? So Bose is like, well, by the way, now that you're in the hot seat. Wait, hold on a second. I can't hear you. Let me get a little closer. Oh, Mauricio, stop sitting on me. Oh, I didn't see you in that chair there. Sorry. You know, now that you're in the hot seat, you know, I almost attacked you last summer. And he gives that confused face.

3:26He's like, oh, oh. It does like a veneer moment because what happens is he furrows his eyebrows. But then since he's also a realtor and the client is always right, he has to smile too. so this is probably the face he gives when someone is like i would like to sell this i would like to i would like 10 bedrooms and i want to spend 1.3 million dollars and he throws his brow like what but then smiles like oh yeah of course anything you need so he's like uh what do you mean balls who almost attacked me i don't get it yeah well i saw you at soho house in miami or in malibu rather and i was like yeah and i was getting a play-by-play of everything you were doing She goes, yeah, I was watching you like a hawk.

4:05And he's like, oh, I don't know. And we see a flashback to Bo saying, I saw Mo at Soho House with a girl. And Kathy goes, a female? Yes. Yes, Kathy. So Mauricio's like, oh, so you saw me at Soho House. And there was a lady there. Oh, look at her being terrified. side uh who was i with and kyle's like you're with a girl uh yeah you're with a girl uh well uh oh well you could have said hi i i you could have said hello she's like uh-uh i had to choose a side i think bose was being such a girl's girl here this is what kyle could learn because bose basically at this moment is actually checking him she's not just saying like oh i took kyle's side she's like i had my eye on you i know what you're up to don't mess with kyle right i kind of felt like she was sending that message and i thought that was so cool of her yeah she's like hey it's me bows i remember you because i saw you you know kind of cheating she's like i'm in your spaces i'm in your spaces and whenever you find another like 22 year old girl know that i'm there i'm there and i'm watching you i don't care how far you go i don't care how late you go out until I'm there.

5:25Any move you make, any step you take, I'll be watching you. Okay? Now, listen, you may think you're alone in a urinal, but I'm more invisible than Kyle is right now. Hey, I'm here. I'll be watching you. I'm the runaway Bosie. So she says, I chose a side. And Dorit says, that's called a goil's goil. Oh. All right. Is that a kind of pickle?

5:51You're talking about Grillo pickles? Mauricio's like, you call her the ghost, girls. I call her the spy. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Well, I'm just saying Kyle is my person, so I'm looking out for her. And she goes, yeah, we're like detectives and spies, Mauricio. And he goes, no, just spies. I got it. Now I know what I'm walking into, right? Well, look, Dorit, I haven't seen you in forever. Am I right? And he rubs her shoulder, and she's like, oh, my God, Mo. We need to get together. I want to get together and shoot, shoot, shoot. You want to go shoot? I did that with Kyle last year. It got kind of awkward.

6:29She started crying and I made this face. Oh, oh, no. Shoot, shoot, shoot, shoot. I want to have a shoot, shoot. They're talking, Mauricio. Yeah, well, I'd be thrilled to any time. So, Torito's like, but I know you've heard one side, a very large round side that you're trying to get around and the side just keeps on going and you're seeing, does this side ever end? And then you realize the side has actually brought a side of ribs and you're like, wow, there's a lot of side to this side. Then you realize circles don't have sides.

7:06But I thought you might want to hear another side, a more glamorous, beautiful side that might bring a fish sandwich, the rare fish sandwich. They don't have those in Saudi Arabia, I believe. Oh, okay. I would be thrilled to. I would love to go hear other sides. This is what I would love to do. And she's like, but the thing is, Mo, I want what's best for the kids, period. And the only way for our kids to not have much damage is for us to be friendly. Do you understand? Well, we are friendly, but our kids can support, be justified. No, not our kids. Me and Piqui's kids. Oh, I got it. I forgot that we had kids, so I'm glad you've specified.

7:48I agree with that statement. And I can tell you that if you wanted to, I'd be willing to sit down and completely, absolutely, fully listen to you without any response. Full eye contact. Not on my phone. Not even a mug of coffee nearby that I can sip from and then look down into. Just a full, full thing. I only wish Kyle were here to see us getting along like this. Mauricio, I'm right here. And after you've heard what I have to say. If you feel like there's things that you want to say to Piggy, then you can habla them from your heart, your corazón, as it were. Your pescado torta, if you will. I'm the one who likes hats.

8:29Me! Me! Honestly, I feel at this point I've exhausted every possible evening to try and sit down and communicate with Piggy. And I know that we've raised a place where it's necessary to have some kind of communication in order to go parent efficiently. Mo is literally my only hope. That was Arabic for hope. I have even left a trail of Hershey's Kisses going all the way up Benedict Canyon, leading to a fish sandwich on a welcome mat. And I still can't lure him into the house. But I did end up meeting a nice woman named Katie Maloney.

9:16so

9:20she agreed that we could split the fish sandwich on account of how brand they are and so so Dorit is proposing like I just want to sit down and tell my story and Mariso could not look more disinterested like yes I'm sure Mariso really wants to just sit there and listen to you prattle on for two hours while he says nothing. So he's like, yeah, I'm happy to do it. I'll totally do it when I'm in Saudi Arabia and cannot be found. So yeah, great. Okay, and you know what, Mo? I don't have your number. I'm going to get your number because I don't have your number. And this is the first time we've spoken in quite a long time.

10:00Isn't that right? We absolutely do not communicate in any sort of way. So I'm going to get your number. Mo, give me your number right now. I'd rather do this on telephone other than Snapchat, which is how we usually communicate. So please give me your phone number. And I thought this was because, you know, Kyle's got PK's number. I thought this was interesting that Dorit didn't have Mauricio's number. I guess why would she think about it? She was like, look at me, a girl's girl. I don't have Mauricio's number. And America, for those of you who think that we're having an affair, I don't even know his phone.

10:32This is so interesting that I am finally getting his phone number for the first time. I didn't even know he had a phone in the first place. Cut to Kyle going My friendship with PK is just memes and jokes On the telephone Well isn't that something or other Well I'm going to call you And I'm going to message you And I'm going to sex you So you better get ready Yeah yeah okay well I gotta get out of here There's like something happening next door To something so like Yeah bye So he leaves and Kyle's like, oh my god, that is hilarious. In this town, you never know when you're going to run into the person who doesn't see you while they're having coffee and swiping through their phone.

11:19Summer's like, I mean, what a night. I mean, first night in LA in a year and I've already seen John Turturro. Who else? I loved you in the Big Lebowski.

11:35So Bo's is like, wow, Mo's got it. I understand now. Oh, he's got charm. He's got looks. He's got a very, very confused, furrowed brow. And I don't really blame Kyle for hanging on. I mean, the question is, why isn't Kyle reeling him in? Get him back. I mean, whoa. You just let that fish jump off the bridge. Get him back. Bang him on the rock. Cook him up for dinner. That's right. They're called veneers, not vunfars. Get him in. so the near the far wherever you are get back here wherever you whenever you are

12:12that's funny so Bo's is like well before we get to desert we should probably resume the scene we're supposed to shoot so uh we are let's talk about Amanda Francis right because that was crazy and so Dorit's like well Sutton said to me that Amanda had voiced her concern about how you're speaking about PK. And Bo's like, mm-hmm. And Dorit's like, and I have the right to obviously confront her and ask her, if you got this opinion, where did you get it from? And was there a fish sandwich involved? They're very rare. But she shut down the conversation, and she said it was the anniversary of her son's pussy.

12:49And so Summer's like, oh my God, her son passed. She grabs her heart. And she says, oh my gosh. And Dorit goes, exactly. Can you believe she said that when I was trying to yell at her. So I'm just like, no, I was sad about the son passing. Yeah, she's like, I wasn't sad for you. I had no idea that it was the anniversary of her son's passing. Had I known, I would have never said anything to her. Well, I would have said some things to her. I probably would have said the same things. I mean, what am I supposed to say? Oh, Amanda, I'd like to talk to you about something, but I just want to make sure that it's, you know, not an anniversary of something bad or anything and even she's like laughing because it is a hilarious thing like i'd like to confront you right now did something terrible happen on this day before i proceed and amanda you know is probably like yeah that's exactly how you should do it yeah but the point isn't that the point isn't this and i love that dorit's making it this because it's so dorit to completely miss the point of what she did wrong it's not the point to read the point is that she did tell you and you kept going you dummy yeah you kept on going so dorit So Boz is like, wait, but after you said sorry, did you go back to the conversation?

14:01She goes, yes. But why? Why, Dorit? Why did you do that? She goes, well, because we were in the middle of a conversation. And by the way, she was also continuing the conversation. So she said the dead something, but then she also said other things. And so we see a flashback where Dorit is saying, if you're not ready to have the conversation, that's fine. I respect your wishes 100%. And Amanda said, well, I mean, it could make a custody hearing more complicated. So she took that as the green flag to keep talking about it. Yeah. Oh, so do you want to have a conversation or not? It's time for a commercial.

14:36It's time for a Crappens commercial.

14:42So then back at the restaurant, Dorit's like, it just, it wasn't like the conversation just finished then. So Kyle goes, well, I saw her today and we actually had a very long conversation about this. And she actually asked me to like not say anything to you, but she actually wants to have this conversation with you on her own. Yeah, actually. So Boz goes, well, you need to follow up. But look, I've lost a baby too. I know. I know. And I'm so sorry. She's like, yeah, so I know the pain. And there's a very stark difference between being like, I want to share this with you because this is what I'm feeling versus someone who's trying to address something with you.

15:17And then you like throw it out as a defense. because I can get in any conversation and be like, my husband died, my baby died. I could do that all day long, but I don't. And I was like, oh my God. It's like, damn. She's like, I can one-up you, bitch. And so Boz is saying how that level of grief marks you in ways that you can't articulate it. And so she says for Amanda to talk about it this way, at this time, it feels like Amanda's using it as a defense and she's using it to guard information and she's using it as currency. So, God, Bo's cannot stand it. She really nailed that. And rightfully, justifiably so.

15:54Yeah, nailed that. So Bo says, well, I just find it disturbing that that was being thrown up as a defense. I mean, that's what it sounds like to me. And Dorit's like, well, we went to lunch, and she was talking about her book. And so I look up the book, and I see a blog that says I was in a cult. And I said, what?

16:16Homegirl was in a cult. Lord Jesus, come down now. They all start cracking up. This is so funny because in most shows, someone says something like the news Amanda said, and that's like we said last week, it's a stopper, it's off limits. You just stop. But on this show, they're like, nah, that was shitty to bring it up as a defense. And then they're like, normally on a show when someone says, oh, I was in a cult, people are like, you poor thing. how did you get out of the cult? You know, they look at it that way. We're on this show, they're like, gross. A person in a cult? What an idiot. What a loony tune.

16:49I think on this show, they're like, we know so many people that are in cults that she's just probably lying about this. If it's not Kabbalah, you're out of here. Seriously. Just kidding. Is that a cult? Just remember the red strings. No, Kabbalah's not a cult. Like Scientology. A lot of people in LA are in Scientology, but a lot of people are in lots of different religious movements here in LA. And so that's why I think they're totally unfazed. I also like the most - So Kabbalah wasn't a cult. That was just like a celebrity popular. Yeah, it was like a celebrity. Madonna was wearing a red string or whatever.

17:23It's actually, I think, like a spiritual offshoot of Judaism, believe it or not. Oh yeah, I just looked it up. Yes. Sorry. Yeah, sorry. We got a celebrity thing. But Amanda's blog, which was, by the way, posted in like 2015. I saw the date on it. So this is already a pretty old blog post, which also meant that Dorit was probably digging. So it says, eight years ago today, I took one of the biggest leaps of my life. I ran away from an incredibly abusive, controlling, and isolated environment 1 ,166 miles from home. I was in a cult. And then Bo's like, So she wrote herself that she was in a cult.

18:08She admitted that she was in a cult for two years. It was crazy. Do you want me to look up the website? I never thought to look up this website. Oh, my God. This is like crazy. This girl was in a cult? How'd she get there? How'd she get out of there? Maybe she's still in there. I don't know. Did she drive to the cult? Take a bus to the cult? Kit, where was the cult? I don't know, girl. You want me to drive you to it? I'll find the directions. All right. Just be quiet. Did you throw away the omelet? I'll throw it away, Bo. Sorry. All right. there's so much unknown about her Nico quiet down quiet down out there sorry it was my theme song I thought it would be special having a talking car but all he does is just say yes queen and sing to himself in the parking lot can someone haul around that giant truck that gets supposed to roll into thank you so I like that yeah I do what are you going to say I just like that Bo's was worried about the travel.

19:10She's like, how'd she get there? How'd she get home? Where did she go shopping while she was in the cult? Was it walkable? Was there a bus? A train? Did she bicycle while she was in the cult? It was just cult Gaia, wasn't it? Amanda's like, oh my god, eight years ago, I went shopping at cult Gaia, and I finally left the store, and I was like, I'm never going back. So Pose is like, there's so much unknown about her. It feels like the picture perfect version of her is breaking apart. So maybe now, maybe now we'll get the real version of her. No, you won't. This woman, there's nothing real about her.

19:51Yeah. So inside Rachel's house, there's blue balloons. And we see these crazy pictures of Skylar and Caius on the wall that they're going to be mortified with in about two years. They're just both like, so what's wrong with those children? And then this is also a, like a producer cam thing. Like this is like, there's a producer with her on, on, on cell phone. And Rachel comes in with like this venti coffee and she, she is just stomping through her house. You just hear, oh my God. Do you guys see the news? What the actual fuck? I didn't know anything about this. Hold on. Let me move closer to the couch.

20:34those floors are so loud yeah and her shoes are always very loud and um she's you know she's just being stared at by those creepy pictures on the wall i can't get over this picture you know as someone with a creepy picture a childhood painting that my mom had done um and i will put i have i think i've posted it before but it's so creepy and i'm still mortified by it every time i see it and those kids are gonna really be pissed about those photos anyway so she's like oh my god can you believe that like oh my god it's all over the news it's in tmc it's in page sex it's in the new york times it's in like it just won a pulitzer rachel the rachel files for divorce from roger burman i was like oh god who cares didn't haven't we known about this for 20 years i feel like we've known that you've been leaving roger for like a decade at least yeah no one is surprised and no one care i mean obviously they care if it's in tmz but well but tmz will also post anything they'll be like somewhat a tiktoker with 35 followers fell over in a trash can booty taco just shot themselves in the toe yeah um i call bueller booty taco i just made him a news headline but the other thing is like the the big news is that they separated and that happened you know way ahead of time because it just we just had already had like they went into the They were separated.

21:57Yeah. We had already seen, um, paparazzi shots of him with a woman, you know, cause that was what she was freaking out at at the beginning of the season. So now she's like, Oh my God, now people know we're divorced. We're getting divorced. Like, yeah. Um, so okay. America, I love to gather around, gather around and come in. Sorry. I'm like only in a robe cause it's like, it's a weekend and it's like day and I don't know how to do this, but like, okay. Gather, gather around, come into the front. Okay. Fill in the seats. Here we go. I filed for divorce this morning Typical day It's not like it was just like one thing It was like a myriad of a yeah Myriad of bad decisions Over the last month or last week Or last fucking hour that like Triggered me to move forward Yeah there we go America I said it all I'm burying myself I'm raw right now I'm like so raw But you know what like could you imagine How this is affecting my kids I mean they're off at camp thank god You know like I hope one of them not on an e-bike when he hears about this.

22:55It could be like tragedy. Like literally, I want my kids to be moisturized from moisturizer and not their tears. So thank God they're at camp. Tears could ruin their moisturizer. Tears dry out your face. If my children look older because of this news, I'm suing Roger and that's it. So she's saying, I do not have a prenup with my ex. I don't want to give or get spousal support. Well, that's not going to happen. You think Roger is going to not try and get spousal support? I mean, he's going to argue He built all of your businesses with you. Yeah, you're giving that man half, I'm sure. Unfortunately.

23:28He's Roger with a D. The D stands for dick. Watch out. Yeah. Yeah. That's not going to happen, lady. And she's like, yeah. I mean, like, I want this to be like a new beginning. And if we're separating and living separate lives with different people, I shouldn't be paying for that. And he shouldn't be paying for me. Yeah, but you're the rich one. And he will be making you pay. Ugh. This is going to be ugly. Why don't you have a prenup? Come on. It's just so insane. I'm like trying to think if I'm doing any events or red carpets. Like, it's like crazy. And then this lady, she's like on the phone, someone named like Taylor or Taylor or Mary or whatever, like her team.

24:06And they're like, we don't have any events this week, right? And she's like, oh, maybe, maybe. It's just like, hopefully it's just like a slow news day. Hopefully. Like, we'll call if anything else flags, we'll call if this continues to break the internet with this news about you filing the paperwork to continue to be separated from Roger that no one cares about. Wow. Thank you. So now we go to Amanda's new house slash Kyle's old house. And so she's with her kids and stuff and Kyle arrives and she's standing on the welcome mat, which says Money Queen and Company. Yeah. Kyle and Mo are coming over today to see their old house and I just kind of hope they like it.

24:47But like also I don't care because like I know we did a good job. So money queen is going to money queen. Am I right, everyone? Oh, my God. Oh, this house. So Kyle comes in. She's like, wow. And we see before and after shots. And she's basically taking out the floors and replacing him with the farmhouse modern, typical thing that everybody has now. And it's probably going out of style in five minutes. And like the full wood feature wall, you know, like the she just did a farmhouse modern. I was like, come on. Kyle's house wasn't great before, but it was kind of classic. That kind of classic Beverly Hills cottagey style.

25:28What would you call that? Well, it was, you know what? She had the, um, the, that checkerboard floor where she was copying Chris Jenner, um, and, and Kathy. So I was really happy to see that go because I never liked it in the first place. I never liked it either. I was, I was personally was happy with the improvements. to me they were improvements I should say and I also just liked it because seeing Kyle like really still viewing this as her house like why did you change this horse without asking me you know that's what was going through her eyes right in that moment it's just having the one upper come over to the one uppers house to see how they one upped your house is really like I know I also always like Kyle's house better yeah this was always a better house I always liked this one better.

26:17I've been on record saying I do not like the new one. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, the new one's a little bit much. But neither one of them really had a ton of taste. And this one, remember when she did like the, wait, was Mauricio's office? That was the new house, though. Yeah, I don't like the style of, I don't really like Kyle's style. But I don't think this was a huge improvement either, I have to say. Well, I will say that I got nostalgic because I didn't really realize how much of that old house's architecture and space I had internalized. Like as they walked through the living room that like feeds to the outside, I was like, oh yeah, there's the bar.

26:55There's the, there's the, I remember the flow of this house. I remember how the kitchen looked like that. And like when she was like, like a half second before she said, oh, Portia used to, this is where I used to, like Portia would do her homework on the counter. I'd be like, oh, that's where Portia used to sit. And like, I couldn't actually believe how linked I was to this house. Not to the house, but like how many memories uh like came back to me as a viewer because there were so many scenes in this house and i was like damn you should never have left this house and i felt so bad because i cynically was like oh maybe you didn't leave this house things would have been better and then she winds up saying the same thing later and like crying and i'm like okay it's a lot sadder when she says it yeah yeah there was some sad stuff in here um she's like yeah you know walking for Mauricio comes off.

27:40He's like, oh, my God, look, it's a husband. Look, oh, my God, buddy. Hey, let me rub your back a little bit. Hey, you know what? It's crazy. I don't think I've seen you since. Hold on. Let me think about it. Since I sold you the house. Yeah, because you're the real estate guy. I think I love that Mauricio's acting like they're best friends. Oh, last time I saw you. Was it at the club? No. Guys night? Mm-mm. No, it's when you gave me money and I sold you this house. Right. Okay. okay good talk yeah good talk yeah oh look this is nice you like uh put some glass over here that's nice they start walking around we see everything but it's like all it's like peppered with flashbacks i like that i'm acting like i have all these memories of the way things were when they show like a series of flashbacks it's like no bravo just like i'm just watching the show i'm like i remember when lisa vanderpump walked through with like a llama and then they just it's like no you don't remember it you're just that was the countertop where lisa vanderpump said oh he's been with Portia Mendo Wonder she must be the other woman the tabloids are alluding to Lisa Lisa how dare you say that so they like go all the way through and we're seeing all these memories and Kyle is like tearing up just like walking through it first I thought oh this is fun but then it hit me like a truck we've lived here when like we lived here when Lisa was starting to make more money.

29:04And then we decided we want bigger and better home, but like bigger is not always better. And it's, it is really sad because you did, they did have a really good situation going on there. And they, they did say this was her house. She would always say this was her dream house. It was always her dream house. And then, and then they decided to get rid of the dream house and try to go for something bigger. And the moment they went to the bigger house, it was like, it was cursed right out of the gate you know they got burgled right away and then everything went to shit and it's like it's sad it's pretty sad so kyle's like yeah you know like i'm embarrassed in front of them i mean seeing my house wasn't easy mauricio's and he's like really uh why you didn't like the marble no mauricio is the memories oh yeah okay she can make me sad but why so confused it's like because it was a simpler time i mean the girls were younger oh yeah now one's getting married right and one's going to college soon it flies life passes right okay this was fun i love the countertop no marie like sometimes i think what if we didn't leave here but then we would still live here and then where would they live they could be homeless what would we do with all the money i'm making now if we weren't in a larger house Like it doesn't make sense.

30:26Well, my last memory of being in that house is us being happy. And of course I think, what if we didn't leave? Would we still end up separated? And what if we didn't let life and business get in the way of us? How did we let this happen? He's like, yeah, so I need to go have lunch with PK right now. So do you mind if we wrap up your nice little introspective monologue? Thanks so much. It's like, I just, maybe we should just go outside. And he's like, oh yeah, good. You know, maybe you could do this like in the car, alone. And she's like, yeah, I just want to go to the car. He's like, yeah, we should definitely do that.

30:58Okay. Bye, buddy. Hope to see you with the next house. I sell you signing. Okay. Bye then. Goodbye. Does anybody want to walk Kyle out to the car? Nobody. Okay. Then. Okay. He's like, how many scenes do I have to shoot with her today? Oh my God. Yeah. She even did. She even started the scene sad because she gave the saddest. How are you? what we've ever seen it was more like how are you i was like oh this isn't gonna go well i felt genuinely bad for kyle i will not lie i uh i thought it was actually a remarkably sad scene because i mean how could you not think those things obviously the house has nothing to do with the dissolution of their marriage but you know you i'm like you have to like see in that house things were good and everything was great and like of course the human thing is that you think to yourself like if i just we just not change that everything would have been fine which it would not have been like what would have happened probably still would have happened but i felt really bad for her because also like the new house is shittier and she's like damn it i wasn't even thinking about the marriage or the family dissolution it was just that the new house is so ugly.

32:18I really don't. No, just like, man, I gave up this house and everything went to shit. And now I'm looking back at this house and I'm like, wow, actually, this house is great. I never should have left in the first place. And I was like, that is a tough, tough lesson in life. Something like that. You know, we like to think that we go through life without any regrets. And when you see someone come face to face with a massive regret. Full of regrets. Lots of regrets. Yeah. So she gets in the car, Mo hugs her. He's like, okay, bye. Commercials. Here comes one right now. And then we go to Erica's house.

32:55She's getting her glam done. And she's like, oh, there's a reason why the people always go back to 90s glam. It was so good. Oh, God, like the red the other night at the dinner party. That killed. I mean, the night was a disaster, but it held up beautifully. The look held on. And that's what matters most. I like that we go from this meaningful scene about life's choices to Erica, who gives no fucks about her life choices. She's like, yeah. You know my life choice I'd never regret? Red lipstick. Do it again, boys. They show like a flashback to her outfit two days ago. I'm like, do we really need to flashback to this?

33:29Are we really like navel gazing that much? And then we go to Sutton's house and she's FaceTiming with Jennifer Tilly. And Jennifer's like, well, I hope everything goes okay with Amanda today. She left in a bad place the other night and I heard that she was sobbing at the door. And Sutton's like, well, I was going to send her a text but then I didn't. So you get no credit for sending the text. I know something's one of those people. Oh yeah, I was going to call you when your mother died. Yeah. Do I get points for that? No, you didn't. It's even worse to think like, yeah, I thought about texting her, but then I didn't.

34:04You know, there's just all this nothing that I have to do. So that took over. Well, what you were saying the other day, do you remember when you said the road to hell is paved with good intentions. And she's like, the road to heaven. No, oh, heaven. Oh, okay. Why would you pay the road to hell, Jennifer? I love that Sutton just can't understand this saying. She cannot get this right. There is no road to heaven. There's a highway to heaven. Yeah, you just arrive. You just arrive in heaven. And there's not a highway to heaven either. That was some Michael Landon lie. That was just some lie that Michael Landon told us.

34:43How dare you? How dare you say things about my little house family? Yeah, it is funny, though, that son does not understand this concept at all.

34:57The road to heaven is paved with good intentions. She thinks that's a very earnest saying. Yeah. People with good intentions go to heaven. Why would they take the road to hell? Well, why wouldn't they? It's bad enough you're already going to hell without getting rocks in your toes and shit. pave the road. Why not? Just because you're going to hell doesn't mean you didn't pay your taxes. You deserve a decent road on your way to hell, just as you do while you're living. I say. Over at Amanda's house, she's getting glam done. Babe, babe, babe, come in here, babe. Come in here, babe. Babe, babe, come in here.

35:35So when I first agreed to this dinner, I didn't know it was a dinner to celebrate Erica and Dorit's birthday. And like, I have like a lot of things I want to say, but like it just feels like to me it's like inappropriate to get into someone's birthday party looking to like set a boundary with them like I feel my cortisol spiking I don't know if I'm emotionally safe and I just don't know if I should really be going to this party like all I'm hearing is crickets he's like well it's not your night and it's not your birthday but if she has to fucking talk about it on her birthday and she won't leave you alone about it then let it fucking rip who gives a fuck so now we go to Edge Bar Restaurant and Lounge we're at the edge of Mar So people show up and there's like a big entrance into the restaurant, which means that they all pretend like they're in a fashion show.

36:19Cause it's this show. And Kyle is like, okay, so guys, do you want to hear a really funny story? We were having dinner the other night and guess who walks in? Moe, right? Guys. Is Kyle here? Has anybody seen Kyle? When is Kyle going to get here? I want to hear about how the dinner went. The night can't begin without Kyle here. So then Natalie Fuller comes again. She tries to make another splash. And it's just not, the splash isn't splashing. I'm sorry, Natalie. Now you're coming in with a hair dryer as a purse, which I guess is cute. Because you get to go, look, you guys, it's a hair dryer. And they go, oh, wow, it's a purse.

36:59Okay, so anyway. Yeah. I don't know what she needs to do. And I don't know why some people come in with kind of a splash. And some people you know right away just aren't working. but this one's not this one's not working right i get i get dead energy not what'd you say i get dead energy big dud i'm like are we at the movies because i am reaching into a box of milk duds right now when i see natalie fuller yeah and i feel like i should you know like you should give people more of a chance like well maybe they just need a few episodes but every chance she gets is just she blows it i think i feel like she blows her chances i mean so summer made a bigger impression than Natalie Fuller.

37:39I hate to say. Bring summer. I would take summer. Yeah, I like summer. So Kyle's like, yeah, I went to my old house today. I got so emotional. I cried for like two hours, you guys. Two hours. Most face is still so confused. And Amanda's like, you know what? It's okay to not hold it together all the time. I mean, listen, you were in an ugly house. You saw it beautiful and you probably thought, wow, I could have had a beautiful house that whole time and you regretted it and I don't blame you and that's okay. Well, we moved out in 2017, but then leased it out to people until 2021. And that's when we sold it for anyone who cared about that timeline.

38:14And Amanda's like, yeah, and that's when we bought it in 2021. And it was like my money to be clear. I just want to say, by the way, when we say we bought it, it was me. I bought it. I bought it as my money. So, um, yeah, I mean, we, we renovated it together, but I did buy it. Sorry. I'm like, well, I guarantee that you did not renovate it. I guarantee that Eddie renovated it, but that's fine. Okay. You take credit for the buying, but then also take credit for the construction. Fine. What do you mean? You think Eddie paid for the rent out? No, I'm saying that isn't his, doesn't he build sets as it is in construction?

38:47I feel like Eddie did the work. I'm just saying like, she's like, uh-uh, he didn't buy it. I bought it. I'm like, well, fine. Yeah, she's just so. You probably don't get credit for the construction then. She's just one of those people. It's like, I'm just going to go and diss my spouse in front of everybody and just remind everybody that my spouse is a loser. her she's just trying to extend her brand is this is this part of her brand is she just trying to reassert like i have so much money i did all my own i'm yeah like i don't need some man yeah i don't need some man or whatever but meanwhile you're kind of like throwing your partner under the bus yeah it's gross awful so then uh rachel's like i mean why like why would you share that like why is that necessary like does that add value to the conversation it doesn't i really don't think it is.

39:31I mean, if we're going to talk about what a piece of shit people are, why don't we talk about Roger? Okay. Let's talk about that. And Jennifer and Kathy come and Kyle asks Amanda if she's nervous about today. And Amanda's like, no, I'm feeling empowered. Did you not hear? I bought my own house. Also, that house has been lived in because don't forget Sutton rented that house too. Remember? Of course. And she lit a fire in there too.

39:58It's a smoky house. Yeah, this house came with a smoky eye. So then Dorit comes in last and she's like walking in slow motion, like fish sandwich. And Rachel's like, hey hottie. And Rachel like jumps up out of her seat and goes and like intercepts Dorit before she even gets to the table. And then Amanda's like, what time were we supposed to be here guys? She's late, L-A-T-E. I'll tell you who's late, you, because this territory was already covered by Teddy Mellencamp. So Kyle is like laughing because she does love to take a dig at Dorit. And so now Dorit and Rachel are just like standing, have a private conversation like above the table.

40:40And Dorit's like, I tried to call you Rachel. She goes, listen, listen, my heart has been like divorced for so long. Like, look, my heart is divorced. It's like crazy. My heart, guess what? It's wearing like a sun hat and like sunglasses because it's on like a European adventure right now because it's divorced. It's having a divorce party for itself. And I just wasn't hiding it. And like, there's like not a cell of my being that would ever consider getting back with him ever. Like why? I'm dead. Yeah. Like my heart's been so divorced. I tried to kick it out, but there's like squatting laws apparently in bodies and my heart won't leave.

41:12So like, I'm still paying for half my heart stuff, but whatever. Like apparently I still gets half my blood. So whatever. What are you going to do? And to read it's like, well, but why didn't you foil? Why didn't you foil earlier? Yeah. It's like, well, to be honest, like I spent the last year trying to deal with like the logistics of my new life. I mean, summer camp, e-bikes, e-bikes, summer camp, moisturizing children. Yeah. It's really hard. So like filing to me, that was just like a new detail in the process of like moving forward. You know what I mean? Also hiding my money. So yeah, hopefully, hopefully fingers crossed.

41:47So you're okay, but I can't make America. I can't make someone change into something that they don't want to be. Like I'm a stylist, but I'm not like a personist. And like ultimately, he didn't want to be the person that I was with for the first 25 fucking years of our relationship. But I'm still grieving a relationship that was like more than like half my life. That's right. 25 years is more than half my life, which means I am no older than 50. If you do the math, think about it, everyone. Yes, I'm definitely younger than 50. Totally. Rachel's out. I'm good at 50. And Dorit's like, I think Rachel might be putting on a brave kiftin.

42:28And I mean, how can you not be destroyed by the fact that your husband, who you have been with for 33 years, moves on just like that in the blink of a snap? Yeah, because Rachel said, Rachel was like, you know what, that person is like no longer present and has not been for so long. instead of me, this is like fucking Basta. Like it's so Basta because I guess that's her new word. I feel like every season of like every Rachel Zoe project season had like a new word like bananas or whatever it was. And I think she's brought Basta to Beverly Hills because she keeps on saying, this is like Basta, like fucking Basta.

43:07You know what? Like opposite Basta, moisturizer, very Basta, Roger. She's like, yeah, I don't care because it's all fucking bullshit. It's Basta bullshit. So then Natalie's like, well, guys, I just got back from Europe. And Erica goes, oh, right, right. Yeah. And I had an experience in Europe that I only thought was an urban myth. Oh, someone give you a drink and next thing you know, you walk up in the bathtub and your kidney's gone or what? No. I went to a spa and I had the hottest masseuse on the planet. Oh, really? Yeah. and I'd kind of like you to be more into this. And Bo's is like, what happened during this massage?

43:52Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? He goes, it happens. They had sex. That's what happened. You had sex in a massage? Well, we didn't have sex, but it got very, very intimate. Summer's like, wait a second. Did you have a happy ending? She's like, I did. I did have a happy ending. Thank you for coaxing that out of me. Summer's like, okay, I'm ready to go back to Colorado. So Jennifer. I know I think the audience is ready to go with her take Natalie with you take her with you wow so Jennifer's like wow I don't think I want to be the person on the table immediately after her well you know they're going to legalize this soon you know happy endings too much sad news we need more happy endings well an ex-murderer with a chainsaw could not have gotten that information out of me, I'm taking that to the grave.

44:50Well, thank God I'm not the only one around here who wants to fuck. That's good news. Now, text me the number of that masseuse. That's the hottest experience ever. Wow! Do you think he'd be willing for an extra 20 bucks to throw on a t-shirt that says slot of things while he fucked me on the table? So then Dorit is she's like talking to people at the other end of the table and she tries to say hello to Amanda. And Amanda's like, hi. Okay. All right. All right. That's fine. You know, girl, I'm going to be sitting across from you the whole night. Why? What did you go to the bathroom? Did you go to the bathroom to manifest my absence?

45:31Sorry, I'm a little flummoxed right now. Not enough fish sandwiches on the menu for me. I worked on that manifest joke a long time. Tired. I'm hunched. Has it really stick the landing? sort of like when PK dives into a pile of Pringles. So Dorit's telling Sutton that she hasn't talked to her since that night. And Sutton's like, well, I don't really think you were attacking. I mean, you know, she's young. You know how they are. You know. You know how they are. No use laughing over spilled milk. Am I right? You don't laugh over that. The road to milk is paved with laughing intentions. And that's what we need to remember.

46:09You can't have your milk and a crumbling cookie, too. well it's so funny when people say whatever you're trying to say but she's really not young you know she's not old but she's not she's a great woman and sudden just starts laughing so kyle's like okay time for speech ding ding ding ding ding ding ding by the way amanda has gone to the bathroom amanda's like i gotta go to the bathroom so she leaves and kyle's like okay time for a speech and it's like what did you want to wait for amanda no okay ding ding ding because it's going to get blamed on dorit somehow because kyle's like dorit i want you to start a speech that way dorit's going to be doing a speech and amanda's going to come back and be like wow dorit didn't even wait for me you know that that's what i was expecting so kyle's like so i wanted to have you all together tonight to celebrate both of their birthdays i'm sorry is the waitress speaking who is saying those words i don't understand where they're coming from is it coming from a loud speaker.

47:07No, I'm right here. I'm not invisible. And it's important to celebrate any chance that we can these days. Right, guys? Right, guys? I'm in. Or as they say in France, I'm in.

47:21Or as PK says when he opens up a when he opens up a pound cake, I'm in. So Dorit

47:33Dorit goes, Kyle and I have been through a lot. We've had our ups and our downs, but this toast is really sweet. It's like an olive branch of sorts. A disgusting olive branch broken off my garden. So Amanda comes back. She's like, do not go in there, you guys. Wow.

47:54Hello, Amanda. I'm glad to see you. Stay listening. All right. Amanda, the last time we saw each other, wasn't very pleasant. It was a heavy night and a heavy moment. But I'm glad you're here tonight. And I think that we should glue the air, you know, because since we didn't leave in a particularly good place. You look lighter tonight, specifically about eight ounces lighter, at least since I last saw you about five minutes ago. So Amanda's like, well, I mean, would you like to go somewhere and speak about it? She's like, um... She's like, well, we don't have to go anywhere. I'm happy to speak with you now.

48:34It's called a group scene. This is how we do things on this show. We air things out publicly. One of us will storm off and then Kyle will get in the middle of it. Welcome to an ensemble. Now, we don't have to go anywhere. I'm happy to speak with you now. I'd like to be able to have a conversation with you, Amanda. And she's like, well, I mean, I need to be able to go through a dinner party and not be verbally accosted. And Tariq goes like this.

49:06It's like there was a cable attached to the back of Dorit's head and someone yanked it back. It was the funniest, like that is going to be a gif. That will be a gif and a half. I mean, it was so funny. Let me say this in as many languages as I can muster. Whoa. Wow.

49:32Basta. Basta. Sorry, I got caught up. Were you verbally accosted by me? Accosted. Yeah, I'm pretty sure I used the right word. That's how I experienced it. Oh, God, here we go. Here's some more of that language. Like, it doesn't matter what happened. It's what I felt, guys. It's what I felt. And so she pulls out her phone to double check the definition. And Bo says, oh, so now we've gone to the internet just to understand the definition. and Rachel just puts her head in her hand she's like oh my god she's about to get killed I didn't see this happening this quickly they're about to murder her at this table Basta bitch Basta oh my god it's like me in a small space with someone on the phone dead do you want me to come get you I heard someone's about to get Basta damn it Nico leave me alone I'm at dinner okay

50:22that ends Real Housewives of Bivoli Hughes Well thanks everyone for being here We enjoy having you here And I hope everyone had a great week And we still have more shows that we're going to record later today Traitors Valley Persian style Get tickets to the crappies Do all the things and we'll catch you in the next one Oh yeah and we're also about to post our new newsletter For the weekend Well actually it's going up this weekend So go get it at Patreon We'll talk to you guys later Bye Bye. Watch what crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alison King. It's always a party on Alison Block.

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