#3204 Southern Charm S11E10 Part One: Snitchy Grass Farms

0:21Well, hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today in an adorable yellow cap. It's the one and only Ronnie Karam. Hi, Ronnie. Well, hello. Nothing. What are you doing? Exciting times. It is exciting times. Just hanging out with you. And it's exciting for us because just yesterday we put two, we have two things that happened. One is that the live stream for the crappies, the tickets for that went live and that's available at watch for crappies.com so if you can't come to the show or if you can't even even can't even be there that night um you can still check out the live stream that's going to be uh presented by kizwi and that's that's the night of the show but also that uh will go for two weeks after the show so if you can't even sit down for the live stream that night because you've got something to do don't worry for two weeks that live stream will be available for you to watch a replay of and then on top of that we also have voting that's open for round one of the golden crappies is have your voice heard.

1:27Already there have been several thousand who have voted, which is very cool. Lots of cool categories like, you know, best DJ and mother of the year, biggest scandal, most cringe, things like that. Today we're talking about Southern Charm and it's gotten some nice nominations, particularly in the cringe category, which is no shocker there. Pretty little freckled lips, gorsh. Also, Patreon, patreon.com slash watch what crappens. Come join us over there. We got bonus episodes like the traders and we'll have a new traders episode up tomorrow. And then on top of that, there's video. It happens on demand where you can watch us and a newsletter where you can get all the updates, weekly updates about what's going on with our lives and Bravo, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.

2:16So join us for all those super fun things. We love to have you. I think that's all the exciting stuff, huh, Ronnie? Very good. Let's get on with it. it Southern Charms season 11 season 11 wow god that's just hitting me it's a long time episode 10 two truths and a single guy ooh guys I wonder if Austin and Craig are gonna fight yeah yeah exactly it's a very exciting episode where everyone gets into cars and goes to Whitney's estate so yeah It is another episode. It is very Southern charm this episode because it's an episode where Craig gets called out for what he actually did and then lies. And then every turns everyone turns against the person that said it instead of the person that's lying, which is Craig.

3:12It's so frustrating. What? Didn't we see Craig say this? Why did he not show a replay of it the entire episode? I kept on waiting for the flashback and they just. How did they not? How did they not? so annoying. Craig gets away with everything that guy because it's a cute little smile. I know, but like, it's just strange how anyone could say anything. Anyone could cue any flashback and Bravo will jump at the chance. Like if someone says, oh my God, I love coffee. You know what I love is I love a cold brew and they'll be like three days earlier. I'll have a cold brew, please. And it's like back to present.

3:47Like they love throwing a flashback for context, but it was just like, I kept on waiting all episode. I was like, okay, well, they haven't shown it yet. But maybe they're waiting for a really impactful time later in the episode. But they did not touch that. I'm like, I'm not crazy, right? We saw him say that to someone. He said it to Shep. It was at the dinner, right? Yeah, it was at the dinner. Yeah, I'm scrolling through the notes now. So I can have the exact quote. I'm also surprised that we never got a clip of Shep telling Sally this. Maybe that's why they didn't want to show. I don't know.

4:16It was so strange. They did a weird edit there, too, where they flashed back. But instead of saying what Craig said, they just showed the scene. So we didn't hear what Craig actually said. But then when Shep repeated what Craig said, Craig had bungled even the gossip. He made it. Well, we'll get to it when we get there. But they're tricky. They're being tricky with Craig. And I'm wondering why. What are you, protecting his pillow empire? Come on. Yeah, seriously. So it's the day after Austin's birthday. And Shep is stretching in the park, stretching his leg on like an enormous cannon. I don't know why that was funny to me.

4:50Just like his foot. Gosh, I'm on a relic. of a different water from a different time. And there are some geese that are honking because the geese are like, even the geese know to get away from Shep. And Wittner rolls up and he's like, hey, old ass getting a stretch in. He's like, gosh, yeah. Did you exercise already? He's like, yeah, I wake up at four in the morning and worked out because I have a job. So I've exercised. I've walked the dog. I've watered my garden. I've called my mother. I've exercised the staff. Yeah. I had chit-chat with Barb at the front desk. Had lunch. Went to more work. Well, guess what, guys?

5:33It's a Wittner weekend. We don't see much of Wittner, but he's hosting an event. An event at his compound. So he's talking to his mom. She's like, farm weekend. I need to know how many people are coming. Okay? How many of them are married? That's extremely important. How many of them are planning on getting married? Marriage is very important in the South. Everybody must have children Or they're not welcome on this farm I was so excited to meet Wittner's mom After he described her as an anarchist Earlier in the season Or like a rebel or something like that Someone who loves to upend traditions And is a wild child And man It was like Going to the house and sit in Nancy I'll tell you that much Arriving at this palatial state she's like i'm an anarchist we meet her wearing an apron in the kitchen she's like wearing all white and apron in a very nice nancy meyers kitchen yeah down with the man um i'm gonna get that cookies before i send him down tell you that much down with a man and by man i mean pan and by pan i mean the copper plated pan that i've got up there you make a lovely casserole My carpet-plated pan, I mean a can of beans were cooking over the fire.

6:48Okay, everybody gather around.

6:52So they're talking about Madison coming, you know. And Shep's like, well, I don't even know how it's going to affect the weekend. Because those two, Austin and Craig, are having a real taint on taint. Why do you say it that way? He says a lot of intelligent things because I think he reads a lot. But he doesn't use them in conversation much. So they always sound incorrect. And I get it because I do that shit all the time. I mispronounce words all the time because I read a lot of books. But who am I going to say words like that to? You know, I was saying Macabre until like three years ago. That's almost like a Hanukkah icon.

7:32Judas Macabre. I do that too. Well, also, I think I've mentioned before in this podcast that somewhere over the past few years, for whatever reason, my brain, my default is to say apropos. instead of apropos and i don't know why i do that now but i think it's kind of like if you don't say a word enough that suddenly you default to some strange uh pronunciation yeah chef being like tata tate i'm like what tata tate yeah tata tater a tater they're having a real tater a tater they can't stop fighting over french fries it's like tate mccrae got mad at tate mccrae um so he says it's just a complete lack of understanding with each other and i would also wait to say a complete lack of brain cells amongst both of them as well well there's also lack of understanding yeah there's also lack of understanding because you take everything that they're saying and then you run to them and then you you reword it so it's not you're part of the problem chef i like whenever because every season consists of two of the guys going against each other you know they team up on each other and um the one that's not in the fight gets to act innocent all year and i love it this is that big innocent ear where he's like i just wish everybody could get along gosh gosh sorry everyone my phone just rang apologies um yeah there's always somebody yeah it's shep getting to be the innocent one and the mediator is always so funny um i have to say that's why i liked season one of JT before he let fame sort of start before he started to be like a reality star and tried to be super camera thirsty, which I mean, he was season one too, but like season one, he kind of broke up that drama triangle a little bit.

9:19Cause he was, he was like a fourth piece and it was a little discombobulating. Cause he really, honestly, if you think back, he's really been the only new male they've been able to bring on like since the Ravenel days, that's been able to kind of be impactful in that dynamic because the other guys just circle around. I thought you were talking about JD. I was like, who? You're the first person discussing Bravo that's ever like, wow, that's why JD was good. It took me a minute. The way he just destroyed his wife and you watch her soul. I was like, Ben is going off the rails right now. The guy from last year who sold everything to live in the Bahamas.

10:03I mean he sucks don't get me wrong that guy sucks and season 2 it was just like one of those palatial not palatial what am I talking about he had a palatial failure and now I'm talking like Shep Tate on Tate but you know what I'm talking about they brought in a lot of guys who sort of swirled around the central trio but have never really been able to kind of like penetrate their drama and JT was JT was the only one who really did but oh well oh well he fucked that one up Yep he really did So Shep's like I've been on vacations With Austin and Craig And there have been freaking blowouts But then the next day we just ignore it It's like nothing ever happened That's how we do it in the south Yeah great And then we see last night They're fighting and Craig's saying He made my drinking problem about him That's insane Shep What I feel manipulated now because I vow I see you drink.

11:02Oh, gosh, I think that Austin's like, man, I've been beleaguered in this relationship for years. My tate has been going up against another tate. Let me just do Austin Rosetta Stone. What Austin means is he's beleaguered. Austin did not mean beleaguered. Austin doesn't know beleaguered. No, it's not Austin language. See, stop translating things, Shep. And so then Shep's like, it's almost like a breakup, except they didn't do it on a group trip after you bought them a Megalodon necklace.

11:42So when you're like, all right, well, as long as my parents are insulated from this bullshit, I don't care because my parents are rebels. And the last thing they need to see is bad behavior from guests. The last thing an agitator wants is bad behavior. but also why are you inviting these people to your house that's like inviting i don't know a swimming pool in and then asking that the walls don't get mold i mean you're inviting crazy people to your house exactly right that's the exact analogy i was thinking of too you hear it every day ben you hear it every day knock knock who's there swimming pool okay well as long as you don't get the mold on my wall i did have i did have family who had an indoor a swimming pool and they had all this mold in their walls.

12:25And I was like, is it because you have a swimming pool inside? You fucking dumb asses. Like, what do you think? Some people just don't get it. They just don't get it. But what do you expect from people who own a candy factory? Bunch of sugar, bunch of sugar drug addicts. Just all cracked out. Like, let's put a pool, a pool on the inside. They own a candy factory? Yeah. My cousins owned a candy, a candy factory in El Paso, Texas. I love just like 14 years in the learning. I've never told you that. Yeah, it was amazing. They didn't like me very much because I misbehaved a lot. And of course, I was the only chunky one.

13:01It's like they don't like the person who really stands for their products the most. I was the one who believed in candy. And they were like, don't invite Ronnie over. He shamed us for having a pool inside. That little fat bastard. Keep him out of here. Keep him out of the candy factory. I did get to go there. But you know what? I went to the candy factory on a school trip. It wasn't even a family trip. Like the family didn't take me there. I had to go there on a school trip. It was very famous. It was a very famous factory. So I went in there and I saw it and I was like, this isn't like Willy Wonka.

13:29So it was kind of disappointing. And also they were hard candy makers. They weren't like chocolate people. You know, they made hard. Not whimsical stuff. Yeah. And I still, I'll see those, those family members very occasionally and like family reunion, whatever, somebody dies, you know, and I just always think, enjoy your sucker candies, mold people. Do they still have the candy factory? I don't think so. Oh. Well, they're lost. Yeah, they're lost. Too bad they didn't have you because you know what they always say about you, Ronnie? You really broke the mold.

14:05It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappens commercial.

14:13Also, why are Wittner's parents at this? Why are they here this weekend? If we're my parents, I'd be like, please leave for the weekend. I'm bringing all the friends over. Please, like, if I don't want my parents to see the bad behavior, I'm sending them off. Like, they have another house, I'm sure. Go there. Go to friends. Yeah, I mean, we're doing drugs all weekend in the pool. You know what I mean? At the very least, mushrooms, you know? So, yeah, I don't, my parents can't be there. Also, I don't like my parents there because everyone's like, oh, my God, your mom's so great. What are you complaining about?

14:44Like, what are you traumatized from? You know, I get that a lot. So I'm like, leave. I'm like, I love your mom. Exactly. Well, she's really fun and funny. But, you know, we're all different in a familiar situation. Anyway, the point is, that's why. That's why I don't invite you over. Exactly. Right there. So then we go. They jog. And then we go over to Patricia's house. And it's a Whitney and Patricia scene. Come on in. You promised me you would get rid of that mustache. You keep nagging me, but I think I'll do a Victorian era mutton chops like a walrus. Mother, mother. Okay, well, you're not too old to spank, Whitney.

15:27He's like, oh, Jesus Christ. So, mother, how are you? Have you been sitting on this sofa since last week? Well, I've been doing research. I'm sure you can see this gigantic book of a magazine thing on here. and it is bagpipe monthly. I am researching bagpipe players for the ceremony I want to have for Chauncey. Oh, do we read a psalm or something from the Bible or should we have Randy do a remix, bagpipe remix? What do you think? I think we should read your father's will again. This is better than the Bible telling you.

16:06So they're going to invite Austin to the Chauncey ceremony. because he loved Chauncey. And he's like, well, yeah, he loved Chauncey. And speaking of Austin, by the way, last night he had a birthday dinner. We were in a tiny little booth in a restaurant and we made a lot of noise. It was really bad. It was the worst I'd ever seen in a mother. I'm shocked that Austin would, I mean, despite all the acrimony, tell Craig that he hates him, but it just kind of came out of left field. Didn't really come out of left field for me. I've been watching this show. Yeah. He's like, wow, of the 11 years of us, going out that was uh one of the most uh tumultuous dinners i've ever ever experienced well i think that's sad i'm sorry to hear that what is this town coming to men turning against men have we not brought any young women for y 'all to throw your hate at patricia trying to like summon some sort of sympathy for the situation when in her mind it's like it's just two poor idiots fighting why am i supposed to care about this Did you not hear me when I said I'm going through bagpipe monthly?

17:17One guy's from Delaware. The other one has cats. Why am I supposed to care? What's their pedigree? Now we go over to Austin's house. This is very sad Austin's episode. He has broken up with the love of his life, Audrey. Okay. this relationship was never real maybe the only person I think this relationship might have felt real to was Audrey but I don't think anybody else in the world thought that this relationship was real but you know give him his violins give him his garage band violins for an episode yeah so Austin he finally gets to make use of the props that he bought this season his cats he's like oh pipe pipe there you are you know Piper's like please don't call me pipe oh finally somebody's willing to do a bagpipe scene with me.

18:08No, I was talking to my cat. Disgusting. Come over here. Do what you're supposed to do and give me emotional support and maybe look sympathetic to America. Come on, pipe. Piper's like, ew. I don't like this. Yeah, he's really laying it on thick today. He's got his sympathy from his breakup and the cats. Yeah, it's really... Yeah, so I'm surprised he didn't have a thing on his fridge Like, look, this is somebody I adopted on late night TV. I send them, I send them 10 cents a month. It's changed their life. So the cats, the Piper does not want to be with Austin and basically squirms out and starts attacking Martini.

18:49And then Austin's like, all right, well, I guess I'll go my next sympathy prop. Madison. So he calls up Madison and she's like, so you got some tea? He's like, yeah, I mean, sort of just like some bursts of stuff. But funny enough, I just felt like calling you. She's like, what? That's crazy. Why are you being such a beta today? Well, she's like, I don't know. It's my birthday. And I don't know. I'm sad. Let's see more flashbacks. Tell me about being sad. I'm pregnant. I'm over here binging my face off. I just ate half an apple. Can't find corn. I'm in three miles. I'm losing my mind. That's a corn shortage.

19:27Did you know that there's a bagpipe convention in town? they all eat corn none of the none of the teeter harrises have it you walk by that convention all years all right what happened and so we see a flashback of the you bitch about being friends with me you're still friends with me you bitch about your girlfriend you're still with her oh Oh my God, dude. I knew this was going to happen. I knew it. He's like, well, I'm not surprised, but at this point in time, I have bigger thoughts in my mind. So I don't care about the status of me and Quack's friendship. I love the idea of Austin having bigger thoughts in his mind.

20:11I like to insert bagpipe music. Did he see a Doritos commercial or something? Whoa. Triangles.

20:29all right let's go over to craig's house um charlie is hidden behind a large painting and uh she's finally sold him a painting what was this what was this high school like art school art class project that craig bought like it's just i'm sorry it looked like it's modern art ben It's called modern art. I'm sorry. I'm sorry to the painter, the illustrious artist we know is just a retiree on Lake Hilton Head who sits on the balcony and just paints things back. Just throws some paint on. I like the ones that just throw the paint. That's what kind of artist I am. I like those drip art things. Anything that you spill the paint onto the thing and move it around and then put it on the wall.

21:16That's me. I like that. But, you know, I wouldn't pay thousands of dollars for it. It's the thing. Yeah, I like abstract art just as much as the next person. Okay, I like abstract art as much as the next guy, huh? Okay? Like, give me a rathco, okay? But, I don't know. This one just looked, it just looked like the thing you see someone trying to hawk at a flea market. And you're like, hmm. Yeah. Well, I see a lot of that art because, you know, I'm still on Facebook because I'm an old lady. And I see, you know, everything they feed me in my feed is like artists and stuff because I love, like I said, the drip painting, stuff like that.

21:51So I see a lot of those. And there was one lady on there the other day, and she's like, I'm going to show you my plan to make 10 pieces of art a week. And this is what she was doing. It was just like slapping. I'm like, what are you bragging about? You're literally just like spilling paint onto a thing and then moving it all over the place and charging$5 ,000 for it. I mean, listen, if you were actually making what Craig asked for, which is like a penguin on velvet and watercolor, that would be impressive if you did like 10 of those. But someone better call up John Moody and get a real painting in here.

22:24OK, oh, let's bring him back onto our screens. So, yeah, we see a flashback to Craig being like, I like that painting. So this is continuing the tradition of buying things to impress people. So we had Sally buying chickens and Craig buying this paint to impress Charlie. So she's like, I'm going to hang it because that's what I do. That's my job. And he's like, okay, come in, man. So they go in and Craig is going to measure the wall to see where to put it. And did he get out a ruler that's for paper? Like a big flat tabletop. That was a sewing ruler. that's what you use you put it on your fabric you do it you measure but he at least he did have a level which was good and he understood the concept of the bubble inside it because you know him he's probably like my level's broken they got an air bubble in it so um uh you know you'd be like that right i'd like to return this level there's a bubble

23:34right yeah uh so they get you know they're putting the picture up and um he's like hold on 16 times four because he's using a short ruler you know don't you have a tape measure come on tape measure don't use your fabric ruler he's holding it here and then like marking it and moving it over and then marking it then moving it over and you could also just use your phone You know, your phone has like the augmented reality. Use your jack, you know? You've got a jack. Have Jack do it. Yeah, use your jack. Honestly, you could just use a piece of thread, right? Yeah, so. The old fashion method? Yeah, no.

24:13Yeah, no. Yeah, yeah. You measure it out. Yeah, no. Well, I guess what you're trying to do, is he trying to just see how wide the space is? Yeah, he's trying to center the painting. I'm just saying put the string across and then you mark off where the string is and you can measure the string rather than doing the thing where you move this because you know you're going to lose it's not accurate but like have the ruler and then you slide it over you're always going to like lose like half an inch because you're inaccurate and you're going to the lines will be wobbly and use your jack we've already put five times more thought into this than Craig did so they Charlie hammers the nail into Craig's wall and he's like wow For me, like I want to put my energy into the things that are bringing me joy and that are positive in my life and happy.

25:00Like Charlie with a hammer and a nail. This is so much better than Austin. Do it again. Yeah, you know, when I think of happy things on the show, I think of Charlie cowering and on the verge of tears before she does everything. Like, is it okay that I'm nailing your wall? Is Sally going to yell at me? Speaking of, Sally arrives at Charleston Head Spa. that's you know gay guys have been doing that for years and you all made it illegal charleston head spot also known as whitney's lair um so sally and molly meet up and uh they which is surprising but they're gonna they're gonna make nice now because they've been sort of upset at each other this season in a low simmering feud and sally explains me and molly have known each other for like four years i mean we worked at republic together we got really close we used to hold that sign up and be like happy birthday bitch we text every day so yeah i just want to be friends with her again so they they they have like they they meet up and they're very nice to each other and um we see that you know because over the past few weeks they haven't been so nice and sally's like i just really miss her you know vagina fight vagina fight i love a flashback to a vagina fight.

26:18Could you stop talking about my labia procedure? Sorry, I have a beautiful vagina. Are you jealous? Go get yours done. Go get yours done. Sally asked a very important question. So they give them champagne and then they lay down and Sally goes, how am I supposed to drink champagne laying down?

26:41Yeah. It's one of those like if a tree falls in the forest thing. if you're lying down and you're giving champagne how are you supposed to drink it and you're drowning but nobody's there to hear it did you drown on champagne in the head spa I don't know so she misses her and Molly's like well I love Sally but like I wonder if she's like trying to get back on my good side yes probably she is so they they get their head massage and everything and then they start talking about this weekend coming up and molly's like well i guess we'll all be in a house together and sally is like with vanita ew and molly's like well have you seen her she's like no no we have not spoken because she like texted me the other day and said miss you stink and they're like stink that's crazy you guys are so weird yeah i mean i don't call her stink why'd she call me stink that's crazy why does she drink champagne while she's lying down i don't get her because you have multiple um chickens that poop all over you and dogs that poop all over you and pee all for you that's why and you kind of think you probably stink and she's like yeah i miss you stink like little stinky pants she's like yeah but you know like i just i don't feel like vanita wanted to pin us pit us against each other but like she starts shit and then she wants everyone else to take the fall for it but she wanted me to bring it to people and you you know then you think it was me and vanita was guilty of this this vagina it's like yes vagina fight vagina fight yes And I think that Vanita has been messy, messier than usual this season.

28:15I think she's been trying to be a reality star. And we've applauded moments when she succeeded and derided moments when she hasn't. But I feel like Sally is making Vanita sound way more toxic than Vanita actually is. The fact that she's like, she's pitted us against each other. Like, yeah, but like. But Vanita did take credit. She did take credit for saying the vagina thing. Yeah. and you were the one talking shit about molly and you were the one who spread shit about molly first and foremost and you are the one who's been toxic to people like charlie so the i mean this is to me very just like projection you know well no from what i remember that conversation was vanita going well charlie you know charlie did get her thing done like who paid for that and then they were like oh so she has like a sugar net so vanita did kind of no that was vanita was was messy there but there was another moment where someone was a vanita someone said that molly was um molly was oh you know what it was no this was sally molly remember molly was drunk and she's talking to cory in the beginning of the season she's being kind of messy and then sally went and told someone oh wow molly was really being a mess and then it got back to molly that sally had said that and then um and then molly was mad at sally because sally was judging her for being drunk at that party but the truth is whether or not i don't know if i don't remember vanita told molly that because it's such a stupid thing but ultimately it was still sally who was talking shit you know i just feel like sally i feel like i just don't i don't know it didn't sit well with me that sally was making vanita sound um way more evil in this situation than i think she was i think she's just being being base level messy as as one would be on these shows and she's like yeah Yeah, Vanita's hands down the only reason that me and Molly were even at each other because any rumors that were started have come from Vanita.

30:11And so then we see Vanita. Oh, well, here we go. We have a flashback. Vanita and Sally sitting by Sally's pool. And Vanita saying, well, I had lunch with Molly and she's not a big fan of yours, I don't think. So see, I mean, Vanita. Vanita did do this. She did. A hundred percent. She a hundred percent. Like the vagina thing was all on Vanita. But I think Vanita was being messy. And Sally's actually making out like Vanita's being calculating to try to tear them apart. And I'm like, I'm not sure about that yet. Like, I need more evidence. Yeah, she's just being general messy. So then Molly's like, well, I'm good with Vanita, but like, I don't forget.

30:44I forgive, but I don't forget. And so now Molly's like, well, I'm sad we let her pit us against each other. So let's not have that again. Let's not do it again. She's like, okay. So yeah, Vanita got their raw into the deal on this one. Commercials. Here comes one right now.

31:04And then we go over to Madison's house and Madison is 34 weeks pregnant. We find out. And guys, charisma alert. Brett's calling. Hey, you too. What are you doing? I think the baby's dropped. What do you think about that? Wow. No, really? I think he's dropping. Wow. I think I'm going into labor. Wow. I just had the baby. Wow. Oh, wait, no. I didn't have a baby. I just, it's just Karen down there. I got confused sometimes. Wow. Okay, well, it was a great conversation, Brett. I love our chemistry. Okay. Bye. Bye.

31:58He's so hot. Wait, are you going to hang up? No, I was waiting for you to hang up. The boy's always supposed to hang up before the girl. Okay, I'm hanging up. Bye. Bye. Did you hang up? No. There was a moment where she's like, wait a minute, wait a minute, Brad, Brad, Brad. He's like, yeah. Don't make this last longer than it needs to. Hang up the phone. Yeah. The gas was leaking out of the car. So basically Madison's saying how having a baby is scary. It's a lot of work. It's anxiety inducing. and uh but she's getting into the final stretch but she's still gonna go up to witness because you know she's gonna she knows she knows where her where her bread is buttered she's gonna show up so uh she's like i just hope that's something to know how to deliver babies how so now we go to venita's house and she's packing and she like she empties out like this tote bag of old clothing and there's like old orange juice in there which is not great and then everyone's packing because we're in the packing montage because everyone's going off to the country.

33:04Packing, packing, packing. Sally is trying to deal with her chickens and she's like, oh my God, who took a poop and put it on top of the food? That is nasty, y 'all. It's Vanita's fault. I don't understand why y 'all keep kicking your chips into the water. God, I hate chickens. I know it was you, popcorn. You're the only one that can fly up there. Little fucker popcorn. I hate these chickens. And then her dogs terrorize the chickens because the dogs go over the edge of the little basket and start barking at the chickens. She's like, oh my God, I'm sorry. She starts screaming. She's like, ah! You know what?

33:38Chickens, they're babies. They do not need to hear you screaming. Okay? You're stressing out the chickens. I'm on the chicken side. And finally Sally's like, fuck these chickens. It's time for these chickens to go. Please donate them to a farm at this point. It's cruelty. So now Wittner. Donate them to a Chick-fil-A. I mean, anything. You know? They'd be less scared at a chicken factory. She should give them to Craig. Craig's the one who said he wanted the chickens in the first place. Yeah. So then we go to Wittner's, and he's like, let's go, Bacchus. Smart dog. So now Shep comes, and why did Shep say he's a—whatever.

34:17Who cares? Shep is going to drive with him. And then Craig comes over, and he's like, what? What's up? I brought your mom some stuff. He's like, whoa, you got my mom some harvested honey? God, she's going to throw this on a dictator. I can guarantee you that. Thanks for the weapon. Oh, yeah. God, her group of fellow anarchists love self-harvested honey. Wow. So then they're, hey, Greg, let's do rock, paper, scissors to see who gets to be shotgun, okay? I'm against violence. No, dummy, it's who can sit in the front of the car. Okay, one, two, three. So they do it. and Craig wins the first round, and Shep's like, okay, here comes round two.

34:58He's like, no, that's it. He's like, what? No one ever does just one round of it. That's crazy, Craig. Everyone only does one round. Nobody does one. God, I got so set in the back, Arsh. So he's like, thanks for having us. I'm excited. So now they're driving off, and Wittner's like, okay, we don't have enough, like, beds, so we're going to have glamping, okay? And there's AC in the glamps. and Shep's like just because you call it glamping doesn't mean it's not camping I've been to Cuba oh well fuck it I'm in you know what I'm in a good mood today I'll take one of the tents we're not enough of a good mood to do two or three rounds of Rochelle Bow so Whittner's like cool man so now we go to Sally's house and she has arrived she's going to be driving Molly and Charlie really like if you're in if you're name ends with an ly you're gonna be in her car um the least you're in it yeah yeah you're in it sorry vanita so molly has cut her face um she um what did she do she ran into doors what did she do she cut it she cut it either with her key or phone or something but she got she cut her face and she's like oh my god i am such i'm such a klutz okay like i once broke off a piece of my orbital bone off and i hit my face on a metal gate and this is what i go through every day God I hate Vanita pitting me against inanimate objects

36:27So um Charlie comes And got everybody coffee She's like I hope this is okay are you mad at me I hope this coffee is okay Um this is a seasonal Beverage called I'm so sorry latte I hope you enjoy it I hope you like sugar free God please say you like sugar free Don't hate me Um so now they come They get into the car to drive over there and Molly takes the front. She's like, yeah, I always default get the front. So I'm really excited. By the way, most likely place to cut my face driving is in the front seat. Yeah. And by the way, for those who are wondering, the answer is yes. I did notice that Sally was sitting, not Sally, that Charlie was sitting crisscross applesauce in the back seat without a seatbelt on while they drove on the highway.

37:14And I thought that feels very dangerous. and you're also doing it in the middle seat where if there's an accident, you have a direct path through the windshield. So enjoy that. Enjoy that. Whatever. I know, I know. And I knew, and by the way, and the other answer is yes, and I am aware that Ronnie would not care. No, I don't care. It's the back seat. It's the back seat. I'm not putting on a seat belt in the back seat. No. It's the law in the front seat. Is it a law in the back seat? Now, we've already been over this. You're just trying to start a fight about seat belts. Listen, I was raised in a time where there were bumper stickers on every car that said, buckle up, it's the law.

37:51And guess what? I'm a law-abiding citizen, okay? So I buckle up. I was raised in a time where when they passed the seatbelt laws, people were like, what are you trying to take away our rights? We don't got to wear a seatbelt. We don't want to. It was like a huge thing where they tried to make us all wear seatbelts. And then my parents would put them on and be like, oh, God. Oh, jeez. Guess I'll have to do stupid law. glad we're paying our taxes i just love how angry people get about seat belts well i have moves i i am i don't mind in the front seat i put it on the front seat all the time it's just the back seat i mean the back seat like that's that's where you get away from the law like the front seat is the law abiding but if you get stuck in the back seat you don't have to follow any laws you're in the back seat so 42 states plus dc enforce rear seat belt use uh but there There are eight where it's like, no.

38:44What are the eight that don't enforce it? I'm just going to assume. I'm just going to assume it's like Texas is like, no, we won't put off back. You don't have to do that. Well, it says seatbelt laws vary significantly by state with New Hampshire being the only state without a law requiring seatbelts for adults in the backseat. Well, New Hampshire, but New Hampshire is also New Hampshire is has a streak, you know, like the license plates, like, like, don't tread on me. new hampshire is you know what it's called okay so new hampshire is the only u.s state that does not have a seat belt law for adults because they maintain a live free or die stance that's what it is live free or die they're so they're so aggressive with their license plates their license because i went to school there and so you always use license plates they're like live free or die i'm like okay relax you're in like bucolic new hampshire it's like that's funny beautiful scenery like the the leaves are changing colors there's like packs of seniors coming up in the fall to look at the foliage as like leave free or die our leaves are changing colors well i guess we know where i'm retiring it's beautiful i loved it there so austin uh austin comes and to get venita and she's got coffee and champagne and stuff and rodrigo comes the fun car Rodrigo, Benita, and Austin.

40:09More like live fun or die. Am I right? Yeah. So now we go back to Sally's car. And I don't know. They're all talking about who's riding. It's a road trip thing. I don't care. So they're all talking about who's going to drive with who. And then there's a long pause. And Molly's like, so how did your thing with Craig go? I mean, I guess Craig's going to be there. So how'd that go? Go ahead. Just talk about it. You know you want to. And Charlie's like, oh, God. Really? We're going to start this right at the beginning? I just got you guys coffee. That cost me$30. Okay. Well, it was good. And we have talked a little bit since then.

40:44Gosh, should I tell her that I helped him hang a painting? Gosh, she's not going to like that. She's not going to like that because I actually nailed something at Craig's house. She's not going to like it. Well, I want to be level with you, Sally. Oh, no. Do I tell her about the leveling that we did? Oh, no. And she's like, well, the other day I told him. I get told he's going around saying that you're going to fall in love with him and he doesn't want to hurt you. And she's like, what? Wait, what? Yeah, well, that's what I heard. She goes, well, I'm sorry. But like, who did he say that he thinks I'm going to fall?

41:15Who did he tell that to? She's like, well, he's been saying this to all the guys. And Charlie's shocked. And Molly says, yeah, I mean, what if the boys Molly's trying to like be the, you know, mediator? And she says, well, what if the boys were just twisting what he said? And maybe he more said something like, I'm not in a place to date. And Charlie's like, well, I mean, right. But in her mind, she's like, that's not what he said either, though. So how could this have been misconstrued? You know, so to anybody, just save us from some fighting. I pulled up the notes from last week. Austin, Craig, I'm curious.

41:51It's total curiosity. How'd your day go with Charlie? Were there fireworks? Blah, blah, blah. Craig, for one, it was awesome. It was a lot of fun. So is it OK to hang out with her a couple of times? Or do I have to make a decision now? I don't know. I'm overthinking this a lot right now. Cause the last thing I want to do is like have Charlie drop her guard. And then me realize I don't like her. You know, I'm trying to say like, do I just not start going on dates with someone? Cause it might not work out, you know, and you don't want to hurt her. You just kill it. And they're like, just have sex with her.

42:21You know, like what the hell? And he's like, well, but this is after he just went out with car Charlie to the oyster farm thing. It was like, Oh, I just date. I don't, you know, I'm just with somebody. I'm not like a multi-person dater and all of this stuff. And then he shows up with the guys and he's like, well, I don't want to give her the wrong impression. So like do I cut it loose now? So he didn't say he was worried that she was going to fall in love, but that's what he was insinuating. Yeah. I mean, Craig is already like laying the groundwork to be like, you're going too fast. And I just got out of a relationship.

42:56and like one thing I've learned that like if you can't be like all the way in you don't want to hurt the other person because I was the one who was hurt one time so I think you're just being like a little bit too in love with me so and Charlie of course is all too happy to relay this under the guise of being a good girlfriend but more sabotaging yeah hello there this is a two part recap okay this is the end of part one so thank you so much for listening to this just come back a little later for part two. Watch what Crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alison King.

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