#3227 The Valley Persian Style S1E08: Twilight Saga

0:22Hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker, and joining me today is the one and only Ronnie Karam. Hey, Ronnie. How's it going? Good. How you doing? Doing great, thanks. We're a week away from the crappies. Everyone better come join us. Get your tickets at WatchTheCrappins.com, or join us virtually with Kiswi. Also get those tickets at WatchTheCrappins.com, and those links are also available in our bio on our social media. So go join us for all of that, and join us on Patreon, so you can get your ad-free version of Crappins.

0:53also you get our free newsletter you don't even have to be a Patreon member to get that we just recorded our traitors recap we have a lot to say that is on Patreon as well that's our weekly bonus episode and also if you're a Patreon member you're going to have access to a pre-party that's going to be happening on the roof of the Fonda Theater next week for the crappies which is great so go join us for that and lastly tomorrow if you're in Miami come see us for two on this part of the South Beach Wine and Food Festival, where we'll be there on the stage doing our show. We go on at 2.15 p.m. We're the last one on the schedule, and we're on after the Elvis Duran morning show and also Carl Hall, Glenn Kelly, like all sorts of fun people.

1:40So we are going to close it out. So come join us for that here in beautiful Miami, which is where we're also recording from. If our audio sounds a little different, that's why we got our travel set up. And there have been all sorts of fun little technical errors all morning long. So sorry about that. But Ronnie, how's it going today? Good. I'm sitting in my hotel room looking at all the people at the pool frolicking. Oh, I want to see the pool view. I just have a view of the valet. That's hotter. No, it's not. It's really not. So here we are with the valley Persian style season. 10 episode well season one episode 10 i think it's what this says the gold nessa in the sky with lab diamonds um so on the little preview picture they show when i was about to watch this it was a picture of adam and yo uh adam and reza doing tantric yoga and i almost just stopped i was like no no i'm not watching this you cannot make me watch this i won't do it well i watched on the airplane flying here to Miami.

2:51So a whole bunch of people had to watch Adam and Reza doing tantric yoga. And I was sitting on the aisle. So a lot of people got to see it. I could not have been more mortified. I've seen a lot of weird shit on an airplane. But to have Adam and Reza doing all that and being broadcast to everyone around me, oh my God, I was so embarrassed. So, so. Definitely had a Lisa Kudrow from the comeback moment. Like, no one needs to see that. what like what though come on people also these episodes don't need to be uh supersized like every week like yeah i'm enjoying this show of this come on let's let's not let's not okay so we started natasha and amir's house where they are looking they're wrangling their kids which is exciting and then we go to mj and tommy's house and mj puts like some foundation on that's like it's like gold it's like pure gold color are you turning yourself into c3po um and she's like look, Tommy, I got this on my face.

3:49And he's like, wow, look at you. You look crazy. You're going crazy knocking on doors with that makeup on. Yeah. You look like you got shit on your face. And she's going to go door to door to try and get customers, which I mean, look, door to door may work for some stuff. I don't think so, though. I don't think it works anymore. People just get really furious when you come to their door. And I don't know that I'm ever going to hire an agent who's like, knock, knock. Like, hi, I live down the street. If you ever want to sell your house, get the fuck out of here. That's what I say. You're lucky we're not in Texas and I can't pull a gun on you for knocking on my door.

4:25Yeah, I just am shocked that door-to-door is a thing. Especially now in this era of, like, ring cams and whatnot, you know? Like, I just, especially also in this era of, like, certain organizations coming in and taking people away. I'm not opening any doors. um so uh she's like saying that she's gonna be having she's having a twilight listing guys and uh she's gonna be having a party for 16 current clients future clients and most importantly mauricio it's not a week on bravo without mauricio showing mauricio guys mauricio's gotta be on the show somehow i was walking back to the hotel night last night with our friends and um what do i see mauricio right there on a big poster right in front of the freaking uber's like can i just escape you leave me alone and the poster is him like two women are ripping off of his shirt ripping off his shirt he's just like oh yeah it's me mauricio wow it's too much it is can i even just have a nice relaxing evening without mauricio popping up somewhere so yeah she's practicing door knocking with tommy she's like okay let's role play um okay here's me door knocking knock on door Or, hi, I'm door knocking.

5:39Tommy, do you have anything to say? And he's like, it's just so unnatural. And she goes, well, the mantra is I'm meeting my neighbors and I'm letting them know I am not going to let real estate sign go up in this neighborhood without saying, well, at least they met me. They all have to meet me. I'm like, that was a pretty long mantra. So she's like, well, I know the word has gotten to come out But you can't put it for sale signs on my block Without me getting a piece That's what you gotta tell people It's like doing mob style You wanna sell your house in this neighborhood? I get a piece Yeah, put a dead fish in the mailbox too, okay?

6:18He's scared the shit out of them Have a cold answer show up with a knife, okay? Tell her, listen, I can't I can get her out of here, but you gotta pay something Yeah So then he's telling us Oh yeah, my wife and I really love each other You know, the bickering, the fighting, whatever At the end of the day, you get nothing for nothing And you got that You got what me and MJ have Because if you don't, if you can't fart in someone's face First thing in the morning And still got them loving you What are you even doing? Well, we know we have our flaws But it's like I also Love, love, love, love So much the moments that I feel Wholly supported by Tommy not so much the moments where he's making fart noises with his armpit but yeah more of the support stuff Tommy that'd be great yeah and she's like I mean I don't know I need to practice like maybe I'm gonna suck the first knock and he goes what I thought you said maybe I was gonna suck the first cock like what wow so then MJ goes out to start knocking on doors and nobody answers No one answers.

7:25Girl, I don't even answer the door for the Uber people, and I told them to come over. Yeah, no one comes. So then we go to a studio where Tanina is doing a photo shoot for her skincare line, her serum. And Reza Jax shows up, and he's like, whoa, I love doing pro bono modeling. Are you stressed? And she's like, yeah, tomorrow I'm going to do a lot of deliveries, and my partner comes, and I just have to blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I've got to do a photo shoot. So she's going to be doing a launch party for her skincare, which will probably be the season finale party next week. And her skincare is called Skin by Tanine.

8:01And basically, she needs to get these photos done. So that way, she can put them on her website. Yeah, I don't know that we need another skincare product from some D-list celebrity. But, you know, I mean, you go live your dreams and stuff. But I think that Sky was actually kind of helping her. We do not have moisturizer for dogs. No. And that's actually one of the better ideas that I've heard on Bravo. So maybe you should stop being evil to your friend and just realize she might have given you a good idea. Yeah. So Reza Jax is like, so what's going on with this guy? Is the vibe the same as when you finish that lunch or, you know, that I awkwardly set up for you guys?

8:37And she's like, I feel like we had that lunch and we ended it amicably and on a good note. But like also at this point, it's just like a very gray area. So I'm really not sure. But if I see her at the Twilight Open house, I'm going to do this. I'm going to be like, hi. So that's my plan. Yeah. And so she says that she expects that Sky would have called her after the lunch if it was a real makeup session. But she never heard from Sky. So whatever. And another point that's very important for her to convey because she says it about 12 times this episode. I mean, if I see her, I'll say hello. I'm not five years old.

9:13Like, okay. So she says that literally every scene. She's like, well, I got to go to the dry cleaners. If I see Skye there, I'm going to say hi to her. I'm not five years old. Which she doesn't really, by the way. So then they do this model shoot. Did we ever talk about how when they were in Palm Springs and they had that psychic medium or whatever come over? And she was like, let me guess. You used to dance to Michael Jackson. He's like, oh, my God, that's crazy. did we ever talk about the fact that he has a gigantic michael jackson tattoo on his arm i did not notice that it's because it's blurred out but someone sent us a picture of it we're such dodo birds and that site they're all such dodo birds you've got michael jackson as a child right here she's like let me guess you dance to michael jackson songs as a child it's like oh my god how did you know that is hilarious he has a like a visual clue on his body for the psychic yeah um so he does some zoolander faces and everything because he shoots photos for her skincare um etc it's time for a commercial it's time for a crappin's commercial and then we go to sky and bumshot's house and sky is feeding her dogs cucumbers do dogs like cucumbers is that something my dog does but i'm worried to say that because someone could be like oh, you're killing your dog.

10:35You know, you gave him a cucumber. So I don't know. Well, but these are actually Erewhon cucumbers that she's feeding. So they're pretty healthy. They're pretty good for you. They're healthy, yeah. Your dog might die young, but at least he's going to die feeling richer than everybody else around him. So yeah, they're talking, basically they're talking about her dad because her dad is dying of Alzheimer's and he's in Iran. So he's being taken care of by her family. And so she has a call with her sister and cries and tells us, you know, in an ideal life, it would have been amazing and very helpful to have a best friend to actually take a bit of this weight off my shoulder.

11:10But, you know, Tanin can't do it. So, like, okay. Don't use your dad's illness as like a guilt thing against Tanin, please. On the TV show. It was like this whole, it was a very emotional scene and you feel bad for her. She's like separated. It's difficult. She's going to go visit and then she turns it into a, well, if Tanin were here, you're like, mm-hmm. Yeah, she turns it into, isn't Tanin a bitch? like oh yeah come on sky i'm still reading for sky but i'm like oh sky come on so now we go to a crystal store and gg and mj are there and uh they're looking at crystals and then they start doing aura photos which is i always think aura photos are hilarious and because just because it's like a it's like oh we put some colors around your faces in post-production and that's your aura and you can pay me$200 now.

11:59So they sit and Gigi's like, aura photography is when they read your aura colors and your energy. And my energy is dangerous. Dangerous girl from the wrong side of the tracks. Watch out. She has a knife. But life is energy, you know? And like the whole universe is within an atom, similarly to the space. So wait, what was the question? I got lost in my danger aura. I looked at my danger photo and it wasn't even a colored. It was just a flashing siren because the police are coming because I'm scary. My aura wears a leather jacket because it's tough.

12:38So they have indigo around their aura, which means they are being talked about right now on a podcast called Watch Crappens. Indigo means that's the color that sounds closest to, i need to go yes i need to go yeah i like this one they're like let's just we're in the valley let's do like crazy la things every episode we'll go to a weed store and then we'll go get people's auras done then we'll go to like a botox place does anybody just walk around to home goods anymore i feel like that's a real french show when you're like let's get a let's get a waffle to carry around at that waffle store next door to the home goods and then just walk around the home goods and like bitch about people that we know it's just crazy that the only real house i've showed that ever really did that was dorinda and bethany on real houses of new york and then bethany hemorrhaged which is like that's like not even the that's not even the city where you'd expect to see a home goods scene yeah they're not even in the suburbs and somehow those two are the ones that managed to have a home goods scene on bravo and like we've never seen it again so the late the orl lady is like, oh, okay, from looking at this, it looks like you guys just like everything being calm and peaceful.

13:49Okay, you suck, and I'm not paying you my$200. No, you don't know what you're doing. You don't know what you're doing. So now they have their private scene. She's like, okay. So as I often do in the aura shop, you two go ahead and talk, and I'm just going to go to the back and, I don't know, look at my past aura pictures. So you guys just make yourself comfortable. Yeah. Like any business owner, I will just leave the customers in the front of store unattended to while i hide in the closet so mj what's going on in your marriage she's like well i feel like i'm juggling a lot every day with pickup and drop off because you know it's difficult and even mauricio told me if you want to be a real estate person you're gonna have to miss some drop-offs and some pickups so i'm practicing by being at the aura store instead of being at the drop-off pickup place.

14:40That's not what he meant by that. You'll be using that time selling houses, not going to the Aura store, or getting Botox place.

14:53If you want to be a realtor, you're going to have to have somebody do your pickups while you get Botox. That's how realtors do it. I have a sincere question, and this is not coming from a sarcastic or cutting or trying to be a funny place. Then I don't want to hear it. Yeah. Hold on. Let me take a swig of this coffee because I just got something in my throat. Maybe that's a sign. But this is a sincere question. I think I asked you this. I don't remember if I asked it on the podcast or not, but if I didn't, I really am interested to know in modern times, in 2026, what the deal is with school buses.

15:27because for me growing up, like everyone just took the school bus. And like, if you miss the bus, then like my mom would drive me to school or every now and then my mom will be like, I'll drive you to school. But by and large, I took the bus and everyone took the bus. And of course I was in the suburbs. It's different. So I'm like actually generally curious. I feel like there's a lot of talk. There's a lot of talk generally about like what goes on to pick up and drop off. But here there's a lot of talk about like, you know, there's a whole scene later on about pick up and drop off. And then look, we don't want to let their kid be at the bus stop and i'm really genuinely curious um are people using school buses less or is it we're just not in we're not seeing it as much or i like like our school bus is still a thing that people are using i don't know but they sure need them maybe it's like a private school thing you know maybe it goes like some kind of private school that doesn't have a bus that goes to the neighborhood i mean i don't know but my kid's gonna get on the damn bus yeah i'm not i'm not making a i'm not making a value judgment or anything i'm not being like I'm just like, I'm curious because I just feel like so much, there's so much talk about like, we don't miss a single pickup.

16:32We don't miss a little drop off. I'm like, but I'm on the bus. But like, is that naive of me to say? I guess that's what I'm asking because I just generally don't know. And I'm like, I cannot reference, you know, the way school was in 1987 versus, you know, 2026. Yeah. Four years. Yeah. That's a long time. You know? I don't know. I don't know how it works. I wish I could answer you, but I can't. Leave us a comment. leave us a comment and tell us about drop off and school buses so she's like you know i like you know i just don't want to be going to life with my head in the sand without realizing if everything is cool with tommy and the way it should be and like i don't know i'm just not feeling good and so gg's like well um you you've been playing with the stones how are the stones feeling for you?

17:20And she's like, I don't know. The stones aren't feeling very good for me. She's like, well, they're not feeling good for you because, you know, you're seeing things and you're feeling things because you've got stones. You've got the energy of the stones coming in at you. You stripped them of their energy and now you don't want them. You just stripped those stones. You're just going to leave them here in the store? I can't. I can't. I'm feeling things with these stones. It's like breaking all the windows of the aura shop. Please leave. Yeah. So then Gigi's saying, she's like, let me talk now. Dennis and I are going to get back into business.

17:57You know, Dennis bought the lab diamond machine a year ago, and we were talking about doing it, and we were going to do lab diamonds. I was like, what? He bought a lab diamond. This guy, he bought a lab diamond machine. Which, as we all know, are diamonds in the shape of Labrador retrievers. No, Gigi, that's not what they are. We're making diamonds out of dead Labradors. I learned it from Reza's scene last week. Those are diamonds that go in your labia. That's why they're called lab diamonds. It's like, no, Gigi. Of course they bought a lab diamond. Of course they're going to put out some sort of budget diamond situation.

18:31I don't know. This guy, nothing says you're going to get into some sort of scandal than co-investing with the guy who's making dildos and lab diamonds. Yeah. From the place that brought you your favorite butt plug. lab diamonds. I know. So Dennis is like, yeah, you know, you make raw diamonds and you send them to India and they cut and polish it there and then they insert it there and then they ship it back to us. It's all good. She's like, fuck yeah. Sounds amazing. This whole thing with Sky really sent me over the edge. So I'm glad I have a lab diamond business. Also, why is Dennis working with Gigi at all?

19:13She doesn't do anything. She brings nothing to the table. Is it because she's like an influencer I guess? She has followers. and so he can sell that he can that's it it must be because she literally does nothing like if you're gonna go sell lab diamonds why would you go to gg but i guess that makes sense well um gg says that so the whole thing with sky really sent me over i was she's so lucky i didn't grab my knife and stab her so i pretty much have a business that we're operating called valley girl diamonds valley girl just so you know it's an accumulation of everything that's been going on you know Because Dennis is back in my life on a business scale.

19:48So it just makes sense. And my brain brains, you know. And when I'm thinking this chick is talking all this shit, guess what? I just made a new company. Valley Girl Diamonds, bitch. Used to be called Violent Girl Diamonds, bitch. But now it's just Valley Girl, yeah. Valley Girl. You know, Dennis is back in my life as a business scale. But it just makes sense, you know. He's got business sense. I've got brains. you know no and who calls it valley girl who wants a diamond that's based on the valley yeah like why would you do that suburb diamonds see i know right staten island diamonds um uh shelby who took our notes today went to the website valley girl diamonds and she said um just so you know my av software flagged it as a fishing site and told me not to go in She went in anyway.

20:48She took a screenshot. And I love the site. It shows a diamond. It says Valley Girl Diamonds. And then it has text over it that says, elegance in every ethical sparkle. Right. And that's, of course, what I think of when I get something called Valley Girl Diamonds. I want an ethical sparkle. I need every ethical to sparkle like a knife glinting in the sun. So MJ's like, oh, my God, Valley Girl is going to be amazing. Yeah. I mean, insulting the Valley, and I'm going to show you what Valley Girl can do? I'm making something out of a bad moment. Oh, God. No, you're actually confirming every stereotype that Sky has of the Valley.

21:27Trashy, trashy, trashy. Exactly. You're lame-ass shit to you, Diamonds. Get out of here. It's like two-bit criminals, trashiness. You're not doing anything to help the Valley right now. Dildo Diamonds. Can't wait. so now we go to a coffee shop with amir and natasha and they order her coffee and the barista goes thank you love you guys and he goes did she just did she just say i love you and she says i think i think she just said i love you and they're like your coffee's ready thank you okay you're welcome love you so that's just what you say reza pops up and is like hey natasha when you hear her say that she loves a mirror does that make you feel like less of a wife just wondering

22:18oh that was very los angeles love you so he's like speaking of children i went to my appointment with the urologist and so we he talks about how there's going to be a week of recovery so he did go get it checked out but it's important to him because you know she needs to know that if he does do this they have to have sex between 20 and 30 times over a six-week period and she's like yeah that's that's not gonna lie i feel like that was a trap for her to be like never mind i'm like just jerk officer and um he's like i think we should do it together it's like a joint venture and she's like no and but then he goes all that aside i'm kind of reluctant to do it i was like what so him basically going to have the consult he knew he wasn't going to do it anyway it's like when people are crossing the street you're waiting to make a right turn and someone's in the crosswalk and so what they do is they run they sort of do a jog over the first half of the street but then walk the second half and the jog is to show look i'm making an effort but then they start walking because they're like but i don't want to make an effort but i don't want you to accuse me of not making an effort so i did make an effort but now it's basically going to the grocery store and buying a bunch of fruits and vegetables and then just letting them rot in your fridge all week and you're like but why didn't i lose any weight i bought yeah that's exactly right So he's like, I went to the doctor and I'm not going to do it.

23:39So he's like, I'm trying to show Natasha that I do care about how she feels by not doing anything that she's asked me to do. Yeah, basically. And he does the whole like, well, you know, with my first marriage, we had so much trouble having a child that now I don't want to do something to stop myself from having a child because it seems like it's dishonoring the first. Shut the fuck up. No, no. You don't get away with that. I'm sorry that your first wife passed away, but that's enough of this. Yeah. Go get that shit tied. Tie it up. Tie it up. It's reversible. It's reversible. Yeah, it's reversible.

24:14You're traumatic. Won't get your tubes tied. No. Sir. So Reza Jax at his place lowers himself into a cold plunge, which I feel like that's weird. I feel like I wouldn't do that alone. I need someone to watch me in case I die. And then we go to Beauty by Nayara. Antonina enters, and Gigi and MJ are right behind. They're going to get their Botox. Or will they? So Gigi is like, hey, Tanim, are you smiling or frowning? Because either way, I don't like it. I'm going to cut a bitch. You smiling at me? Because if you're smiling at me, I'll punch that smile right off of your face. And if you're frowning at me, I'll stab that frown right off of your face.

24:55So which is it, bitch? You think I'm funny? You think I'm funny? How about this? You think my fists are funny? Because I'm violent. so they're like oh my god Botox we need to get Botox and MJ goes yeah maybe I'll get my lips done too and Tommie's like uh no babe no more lips okay you're good you're good on the lips and DJ's like next thing you know she's gonna look like Mufasa I didn't know Mufasa had big lips but that's fine I was wondering that too that's I was like I hope Ben remembers like a good enough Mufasa you know image to remember if that was a thing isn't that a lion? Well, you know, Mufasa's like 30 years.

25:35It's been 30 years, so we're going to see Mufasa and Mufasa's going to look like Larsa Pippen now. Like, hey guys, welcome to Pride Rock. This is my place. Here's my son, Simba. I really love my son so much. And welcome to all the animals. Yeah. Yeah, Mufasa's going to get its own spin-off called The Valley, Mufasa Style. They're just like, who do we put the retired Bravo people on? Just create them a valley. I just looked up Mufasa Mufasa doesn't even have lips Gigi I think she probably pulled a band and referenced something else entirely Thinking that she was like She probably thought she was referencing like Maribel Yeah, I don't know Who's that?

26:15I don't know I just literally did it as I was making fun of myself doing it I meant to say Marisol and I said Maribel See? She's probably meant to reference the little girl robot from Small Wonder Vicky So then Nayera of Nayera's Botox comes out and she's like, Oh my God, it's actually her. It's Nayera. We're getting it done by the Nayera. Give me the numbing cream because I feel things so passionately. Do you have numbing cream to put on my brain? Because it's just roiling over with violence. My brain is braining because I'm mad at my sister. so they're talking about sky because i've gotten literally nothing else going on so they're talking about if sky's going to come to the twilight open oh my god why would you invite her to a house in the valley of all places and mj's like well she is in the market for a house and this house does have a pool and a horrible sister in it horrible so mj's phone rings and I had a horrible sister in it.

27:28So MJ's phone rings and it's the school. And they're like, hi, baby Shams is here. And no one's here to pick him up. There is a man at the door saying, I just want to meet baby Shams. But we feel like that's not the dad.

27:45Do you want to do tantric yoga while we wait for baby Shams? Sir, please take that to the parking lot. I have to say, this did not sound like the first time. from this principal. They're like, all right, hi, it's me again. Baby Shams is in the fucking office again. Is anybody going to come get this baby? Thanks. Somebody in Shams. So MJ's really upset. And so she calls Tommy and is like, hi, you've reached Tommy. I'm farting right now. Please leave a message and I'll fart on top of that too. Bye. This is Tommy. I'm just taking a huge dump right now. Leave a message, you fucking idiot. Boop. This is Tommy.

28:25I'm watching the Mets. Just kidding. I'm taking a poop. Just kidding. I'm taking a poop while I'm watching the Mets. Leave a message. And MJ is like, we live like 10 minutes away from the school. This is ridiculous. I mean, he said he wants to support me, but then he doesn't even support me. I'm very busy right now getting Botox. Also, this scene is so funny because Botox literally takes five minutes. They're acting like, oh, my God. What are we going to do? the Botox day is ruined. They go like this. And then go leave and get your kid. She has like a dot matrix on her forehead because they like planned it all out.

29:03But I guess probably they're like filming over in like Studio City and she's like the school's all the way in Calabasas. Oh, that's true. Calabasas isn't just an easy track to go grab the kid. Yeah. And so, but it is funny because she's like, you know, Mauricio says I have to have, you know, I'm going to have to miss some drop-offs but she's literally getting Botox instead. No, this is. I know, I know. I mean, I can see why she's mad. He's supposed to go pick up the kids. He can't even do that. I get it. It's just funny watching them talk about this in a Botox shop. Yeah. So she keeps calling him and she keeps getting messages.

29:38So she gets upset and goes to the lobby. And Gigi goes and sits with her. And there's a bowl of little Hershey's kisses. And so MJ just starts like opening them and pounding them because she's nervous. And she's like, where is he? Why isn't he answering? I don't know. This is a conversation you need to have with your husband, preferably with a noose in your hand, so we really get who's boss. Maybe his battery's dead. Is his battery dead? I'll tell you who else is going to be dead. Anyone who crosses me. I'm angry. So MJ's like, I'm going to cry. I'm going to cry. I'm just like upset because I just can't rely on him.

30:12I know because you're not there to feel like you don't feel like you're not there and you feel like you can't be there for shams. But you are there, Mayor. Don't put the trash in here, okay? You are there. You just happen to be in a Botox shop while your son is scared into school. That's okay, Mayor, so I'm making it better for you. Why do we keep eating these Hershey's Kisses? Just because they're there doesn't mean we have to keep unwrapping them and putting them in our mouths. Oh my God, I can't stop eating the Hershey's Kisses. I've just spit them out. She spits out like a whole mouthful of Hershey's Kisses.

30:43I just got married to one Hershey's Kiss to make another Hershey's Kiss jealous. I've got an idea I'm gonna start making Hershey's kisses With Dennis It's gonna change everything Lab made Hershey's kisses They're like regular Hershey's kisses but he makes them In a machine and then ships them off to India And waits for them to be shaped And then they're shipped back What could go wrong? So then MJ gets through to Tommy Yeah babe? And she's like where are you? Do you have my son? No not yet he hasn't come out yet It took me literally 25 minutes to park the car. How does it take 25 minutes to park the car at school?

31:20What's going on here? Is your kid going to school at Dodger Stadium? Don't they have like a carpool lane? Yeah. He's like at the Hollywood Bowl going to school. How is this so inefficient? Like the kid is waiting in the office. That means people have already come and picked up their kids. What else? There's no traffic in the parking lot at this point. That's true. There's nobody at the school, sir. You're there an hour past school ending. That's a good point. You're at TCBY. We know where you are. Yeah. Commercials. Here comes one right now. So she's like, well, but he's been in the office for 30 minutes.

31:59Well, I've been trying to park for 25, so I don't know. I don't know what to tell you. Well, you could call the school and let them know that you're parking. That man was taking a nap. Yeah, that's 100 % correct. That jobless ass was at home taking a nap. I don't believe it. Yeah. Like literally if you're running late and you know your kid is there, you like call the school and say, hey, I'm looking for a spot or can you bring him out to the curb? I'll pick him up at the curb, whatever it is. But not like I was looking for a spot in my school's parking lot for 25 minutes. No, I don't believe this.

32:29Well, no one's more supportive of me, all right? Because she's got all this stuff to do. She's got to go to showings. She's got to do stuff like that. Who's taking care of the kid? It's me. It's me, okay? That's what I'm here for. I'm not leaving him at the bus stop, all right? Okay, but you should because the bus stop is more dependable than you. It's a service. Okay. We're paying for it. Very the bus driver. So MJ's like, if I'm at a showing or in a meeting or getting Botox, then I need to have that peace of mind that I don't have to keep one eye on my phone to see who's calling. And the next time, at least you could just do actually be 15 minutes early.

33:07So she's like, yeah, he's lying. And they're like, well, is it usual that he's late? And she's like, well, what's usual is that I'm doing the pickup. That's what's unusual. And Gigi's like, that's a little embarrassing. It's a little embarrassing. You're starting Lab Diamonds with Dennis. You're not allowed to talk about what's embarrassing. Valley Girl Diamonds. MJ's like, this doesn't help me trying to have my big speech with Mauricio for my event tomorrow. Because he literally said, if you want to level up your business, you're going to miss a lot of pickups and drop-offs. you're going to miss a lot of pickups and drop-offs off-offs like so they're like this sucks for her you know they're asking her if she's happy and she's like i don't know how to answer that so then um we go to reza and adam's house and reza's eating blackberries off of a blackberry plant and adam's sweeping just their home their home life is kind of cute i guess i'm surprised that this ended up so peacefully with Reza because I saw a post the other day reminding us of Reza's history on this show and it was like, hey, let's not forget Reza was the guy who dumped Adam right before their wedding and then still took the trip to Thailand but didn't take Adam and just took his friends instead and then married Adam at some restaurant as a surprise so Adam couldn't even invite his friends and family.

34:31That's who Reza is. I forgot about all of that. I forgot that too. I forgot about it too but I was cracking up because I'm like, wow, how are they so peaceful? Has Adam just given up or what? I think the most shocking thing is how Reza is actually quite a bit of an afterthought on this show this season. He doesn't really have a storyline. He just sort of pops in and he agitates, but even that, he's only really agitated in one area and the rest he's just sort of like around. So it's surprising because I feel like Reza was the main selling point, like Reza and MJ, but like Reza is and always has been the star of this group.

35:04and so it's weird that he's really on the sidelines so much. He's trying. He is trying, man. He comes in there and tries to start the mess, but he's not with as stupid people as he was before and these people, like he's trying with Sky and it's just not going to work. He looks like an idiot. Mm-hmm. Absolutely. And you've got a huge villain in Sky. I mean, they could really be doing a number with Sky and she's just not falling for it and I love that for her. Yeah. actually sky sky is like really good at like not letting reza work his magic on her she like basically tells reza to shut the fuck up later in the episode and it works so reza's like so hey i was texting with tommy and actually i hit him up and i said i just want to say that i appreciate you responding and i was nervous about reaching out production aside i'd love to meet up and chat off camera if you're open to it and he said appreciate you reaching out so let's touch base once filming is done and go from there i'm sorry to repeat all of that because none of it was important but it was so funny just listening to reza read he's like let me read you the text that i wrote to tommy i just wanted to say that i appreciate your response like oh my god can we just adam you read it pass the phone so adam's like that sounds promising Sometimes it takes a minute for someone to get there.

36:27But eventually, the bulgur wheat soaks and it becomes soft enough to eat. Tabouli and friendship. And then Adam's like, there's a knock on the door. And are you expecting someone? Oh, my God. It's going to be Tommy with a flower plot. Flower plot. Duck. So Adam's like, maybe I'm going to go to the Dorrance and see if you want to go see if you want to put this in the closet. Hee hee. So there's a guy named Brandon, and he's like this handsome guy, and Adam leads him to the backyard. And Reza's like, dude, there is a very handsome tall black man in the backyard. Like, what the hell am I doing here?

37:05Am I getting the three-way that I've always wanted? Adam, we're breaking up. I have a new husband now. We're going to Thailand. What everybody wants, surprise tantric yoga. On a hot 95-degree day in the valley. Outside in the valley. Yeah. sounds sexy so the guy's like okay well if you haven't done this before it's great okay I'm kind of going to be your first date in LA you're going to pop the cherry what bitches be crazy tantric sex in my own backyard like what this is such white people shit seriously so Adam's like Reza and I definitely aren't making steps to listen and communicate more and my husband says I don't give him enough affection so now I am going to learn the act of finding ways to ejaculate without even having to touch in the first place when Gigi said all I have to do is look at him and he'll ejaculate I was in so then it's like spiritual oven mitts so they now start practicing tantric yoga which is a lot of you know a lot of touching and feeling and writhing and the guy's like you guys need to get root to root what the fuck does that mean i don't want to think about their roots so they're touching and they're massaging and then he's like bends reza over and is like kind of like doing like fuck poses behind him this whole thing i mean at least they're closed this could have been worse it could have been like hot yoga naked you know with just some little fuzz outs so i i guess most of this I was thinking, well, this could be worse, but I still don't need this.

38:51Nobody needs this. Aren't you guys trying to build an audience? Yeah, this was not helpful. And I really, again, I can't emphasize how embarrassing it was for me on the airplane watching this. So Rez is like, sexual touch is great, yes, but it's just about feeling connected. Like, that's who I am. And then we see pictures of, like, we see him in, like, a happy baby pose and everything. And he's like, what's your favorite pose? And Adam says, he likes downward dog.

39:23F. F. So then we go to MJ's Twilight Open House. And Layla's there, guys. And we've all been missing Layla. And Layla's like, oh, my God. We need some champagne. This is crazy. I mean, we need a pre-party. So they start drinking while they're setting up. And we see the house. It's 5 ,600 square feet, five bedroom, five bathroom. It looks like pretty much every other house. It's like farmhouse modern cheap remodel slapped over an older house. It looks empty and echoey and bare. And so MJ is saying that Mauricio is coming and stuff. And she's like, you know, I had this big meeting. And he said, if you want to net a million a year, you're going to have to miss a lot of pickups.

40:07That's literally all MJ took for that whole meeting. It's like, I don't have to do carpool anymore. Yeah, that's all I have to do. And yet she says how Tommy had pickup and he was 30 minutes late. And Layla goes, so he didn't know what time he's supposed to go pick up? She's like, he knew. I'm just fucking humiliated. I'm mortified. I'm sad. I'm still really fucking pissed. Yeah, so she's talking about how she's trying to build for her family, and he's just blowing it. So she calls Tommy. Tommy's bringing stuff over. And she's like, hey, I just want you to know that Reza and Tommy – oh, no, I'm sorry.

40:40She's talking to Layla still. I thought it was a later part. She's saying, I want you to know Reza and Tommy have been texting back and forth. And so now I need to tell Tommy Reza's coming. So she called, this is where she calls. I'm sorry. Sorry, you guys. I should just squirrel. So she calls Tommy and she's like, I just want to warn you. Reza's going to be here. He's like, got it, got it. I'm on the way. And I thought, wow, that's so casual. Like now he's going to be fine with Reza. I misunderstood. I misunderstood that one. Need to adjust one little aspect of what you're saying. She calls Tommy and Tommy does not take her call.

41:11And then Layla calls Tommy and he takes the call. Oh. and then and mj's like why aren't you taking my call and he goes oh i did answer your call but i hung up right away if you hang up on someone it doesn't go to voicemail sir this fucking guy he's just lying now but anyway so she warns him that reza will be there when he drops stuff off and then reza comes over this is actually my favorite version of reza when he comes over and critiques a place you know like i actually think that they really they should give reza a show where he sets a place up for staging to go on the market. Because I think he's actually pretty good at it.

41:47And he walks around and he's like, I'm a realtor. He did that remodeling show, remember? Well, but that's different. Remodeling is different. I think it's just staging. Like, what to do to make it look better for sale. Instead of like, the remodel show was so silly because it was like, they went through all these schematics. They rendered on an iPad and then people didn't even do any of it. It was so stupid. But Reza's like, Like, I'm a realtor, so I know how difficult it is to pull off a Twilight Open because you're wearing a lot of hats. And obviously I want MJ to succeed. And anything I could do to help her.

42:19I know she's having Mauricio, her boss, come by. So it's like anxiety at another level because it's also a chance for me to get in front of a Mauricio and then I could get the listings. So they go through this tour and he's like, Oh, are you going to fix those ceilings? Because there's like cracks on the ceiling and like, that's bad. and like, look, the sliding glass door doesn't work right. Like, do you see how this is turning? It's like Skye's hairline. It's like from water going in here. And he's like, oh my God, look, you know, you have weeds here by the pool. And MJ's like, but I think we wanted to keep that though.

42:53She's like, you want to keep the weed that's growing in the cracks by the pool? Well, she's saying, I think that, you know, the people that buy that can take care of it. She's like, they can get it. If it's her house, they can fix it. And so she says, no, she's not offended by his two cents because that's his love language. And if your friends can't be honest with you, you're screwed. Tommy shows up and he's got supplies. And so he's sort of like, he's like leaving them at the curb. So Adam goes there and like Adam grabs ice from Tommy. And it's like, wow, look at them interacting. He grabbed the ice from Tommy and Tommy's like, here's the ice.

43:33That was like it. it was like oh they're talking then reza comes outside he's like hey bro and then he comes out and he like tries to do a fist bump but tommy just totally ignores reza and just keeps on going reza's like oops psych uh yeah great he just walks back to the minivan and like won't come out from behind it reza's like um like i think like tommy and i texting was like a milestone but i'm feeling his body language and it's not even like open or respect receptive he's behind the minivan so i don't think he's very open to a conversation no he's not coming here to shoot with you he's coming to drop ice i did think tommy was going to come in and at least say like hi but i think he knew that rezo would be like let's have a scene about it yeah i mean i it's this is like another weird thing where like in the real world i i don't know i think tommy this is a big deal for mj and he should have just stayed and helped set up and like put his shit to the side for one fucking night, you know?

44:31But he also knows it's a TV show. This is where it gets meta. But we know it's a TV show. We know it'll be a scene. He doesn't want to be forced in a situation. We have to have a conversation. But then on the other hand, he can just shut the conversation down. He can be there and he can just not engage because we see it happen with actually several other people in this party. In this actual episode. Or just say like, hey, I respect that you want to have a talk. I'm not ready. Yeah. That's it. But it's Tommy. He's like, we're expecting emotional intelligence for Tommy. And him being worried that Reza's going to make a scene is correct because Reza's like, I guess he's not ready for a conversation.

45:08Like, no, it's not about you getting your scene. Everything's not about you getting your fucking scene, Reza. But also, like, Tommy acting like he's Mother Teresa for dropping off ice. He's like, I've supported so much. I dropped off the ice. I picked up shams. What else do you want from me? Yeah. Thank you for getting me ice. Thank you for bringing shams. Can you come inside? She helps set things up. MJ's sitting there sweating while she's trying to look good for this twilight open and try to be presentable. She's running around like crazy. And you don't like you don't have your person there to help you out.

45:37You just have Layla and Reza. I don't know. I just think it's I think it's shitty on his part, regardless of a TV show or not. Yeah, he gets in the car to drive away. And she's like, wait, Tommy, I need five minutes. He goes, I've been driving all over town. Sorry, I'm done. And she goes, I need five minutes. And he's like, close the door. So she closes it and he drives off. And I'm, you know, I just sit there waiting for a divorce attorney to arrive because this fucking guy. So she's like, well, so much for the icebreaker. Like, you can't just say hi. Like, I've never had higher stakes. And he's just waiting.

46:07He's just, like, walking out for nothing. It's immature and it's disappointing. Yeah. So other people are arriving. Vida shows up. Or Vida's, yeah. Where's the lifeguard? Where's the lifeguard? Where's the lifeguard? Greg and Tanin are driving And Greg's asking if Sky's coming And Tanin's like, well, Mare said that she's coming Which I was very surprised to hear I mean, if I see her, I'm going to say hi I mean, I'm not a five-year-old I don't know if you know that I'm not a five-year-old So Vida is asking Tanin if they're still friends If she's still friends with Sky And she's like, um, we're working on that Well, it's good, you should be friends with people who are good people I know she's a good person I saw her dog, even her dog looked very healthy, moisturized very very healthy you know shervin was there i saw shervin and i saw some people but i saw kiki monique in the background and i saw shervin they showed literally a 0.03 second clip of shervin but i have like a really strong sherv dar because when i went by i was like that was shervin and i went it was like literally i was going by frame by frame it was one frame of shervin and then i kept on going well i saw ben mandelker over there in that party we got invited to that twilight open house we did yeah you were out of town you were you were somewhere and i was like oh i don't want to go to an open house a twilight open house on tv i always look stupid on tv standing standing in the background of those things i'll like show up i'm all hunched over i just look so much cuter in my head that i decided to keep it that way but thanks for the invite ding well so the next one um if there is one uh oh man we could have jay has committed to never doing carpool again it makes it in real estate just kidding we could have been we could have seen mauricio pop up in real life no well gg um layla gg shows up which by the way in another world would have been a more significant moment uh because she hates her sister so much She wasn't going to show up because she doesn't want to go see her sister.

48:08That's family layoff, bitch. But she shows up and she says, the reason I'm going to my sister's open house is because if I didn't show up, all hell would break loose. MJ would get offended. My sister would get offended. My dad would get offended. My friends would get offended. The lab diamonds would get offended. And then I'd have to just slice all sorts of people up with my knives because I'm violent. I don't suffer fools. Girl, you're only going to this open house because you know Sky's going to be there and you control her. So that's, we know. We see you. So Reza's like, I go where the wind takes me with those two.

48:43Because Gigi's like, oh my God, Dennis is here, everybody. They're like, oh my God, we have to talk to Dennis again. So Reza's like, hey bro, what is happening? You know, I just like let the wind take me with them because like it seems like at this moment they're cool, but as soon as they get uncool, she's going to expect me not to fuck with this guy anymore. So then Reza's like, hey, what is that chintzy thing on your chest? Did you go to Claire's Boutique before? She goes, no. Were you eating Cracker Jacks? Why do you have one of their toys around your neck? What's up with the Dorito on your chest?

49:20This is Valley Girl. It's my new jewelry line that I just started this past week. Which, by the way, that's another reason why this is going to be garbage. Like, how do you just start a new business and a new brand of jewelry within a week? and expect it to be good there's no way i'm sorry you already had the machine i like that she's getting necklaces before she's even got the diamonds okay so um mauricio comes and um he's looking around the house he's just like yeah let me look at this closet door up that's a closet door i knew it i knew it hey are there any hot chicks in this closet nope what about in this drawer nope all right well i guess my work here is done meanwhile uh mj is talking to some guy he's like oh my god mercedes your boobs are huge she goes yeah well i was thinking of getting a reduction oh hi maureen comes right up behind her she's talking about her boob reduction he's like oh hi hi hi okay let's talk about the house i noticed there were some doors and i said those are closet doors and then i opened them and they were closet doors so that was pretty good i uh i like the color scheme and i like it's a little starkish and uh it's you know it's a little dated but you know it's but you're wearing a nice outfit so i don't want to rag on it too much and the house is nice too but you know it feels a little bit like a little hospital in the hallways it's just like no warmth to it you know but no as a buyer though you should be able to get around that and get through it so it's all great i'm like he hates the house he doesn't want to troll his own agent on tv he's like this is uh really bad you're not going to make a million dollars yeah he's like you've done no no work on this house this house sucks yeah but you can work around that as a seller you know you tell them uh what what are you gonna do you know if you have a medical emergency boom at least you're already in a hospital you're here already and like you did good job you did a really really good job you got a good turnout i like the mamitas the signs look good uh that dandelion growing by the pool nice touch i like that she's like well i did some door knocking and he's like really that's just a term people don't really do that you don't have you really don't have to do that it's a turn of phrase and um mj is like yeah and i missed some drop-offs and pickups and he's like oh so you just abandoned your child or i don't know i maybe my advice isn't really translating.

51:48I love doing great job at work. And I love that I'm, you know, in the company of such greatness as Mauricio and he, he gives me my confidence back to just like, go crush it. And sky's the limit on my real estate career. I just, I have so many goals now. Yeah. Okay. Well, that's a nice little monologue you had, but you know, you're, let me give you some buzzwords. You're doing the work. It's turning out nicely. That's the way the cookie crumbles. No use crying over spilled milk and gotta go. Bye. Bye. I'm opening a Kimo Sabe in my basement, so I gotta go make sure the construction's going okay.

52:23I hear they're rebooting Real Housewives of Dallas so I gotta get a flight down to Texas. So see you later. Sky and Bomb shot her in the car and she's like, oh, how long do we have to stay at this thing? And he's like, you know, you go, you walk around, you take a look at the house, you come across people, you know, you say, hello. That's the short of it. Someone attacks your wife, you say, Then after you come back in the car and say, I'm sorry What do you want me to say? It's actually going to be interesting I haven't seen anybody for ages I will wonder if I eat Erewhon in front of them Will it taste worse because of their stink?

52:59I don't have a problem with MJ So I'll support her But I'm not nervous to see anybody Do I want to see them? No But am I nervous? No Can I ask myself more questions? Sure Will I? No. So he's like, get over it. Okay, let's just go. We have to get over it and get through the thing. So he tells us she's going through the lion's den. But he's like, you know, I'm going to have to go into the lion's den with her. And that's okay. I take some kicks. I take some scratches. I take some bites. But that's marriage. It's what we do. I'm a miserable guy, basically. Just don't ask me to get a bartender, please.

53:37Please. so they show up and everyone's like oh my god oh my god sky's here sky's here oh my god sky's here marissa's like hey sky hi are you on your own tv show or does this count as a pop-up or not i don't know she's like hello marissa she's like yeah that's nice oh yeah okay i'm gonna go now so and mj is like listen sky i've been the person that is like walking into a room where i wasn't welcome I'm just saying, I just don't want you to feel that way. So maybe you talk to people. No, I don't feel that way because I feel welcome by you. So I don't look at it that way. We were invited all good.

54:15I'm happy. And Skye's like, well, I went to lunch with her. And if she was serious about being friends, she should call me. Which is basically also what Tanin says. So they're both being stubborn. And Reza comes over. and meanwhile i think it's important to point out that the cast is all standing against a wall they're like in the okay if you're on this show stand over against this wall this is where we're gonna shoot the cast because they're all just kind of standing there you know looking so res is like okay i'll go in so he walks over he's like hello sky can i talk to you about what happened in palm springs and she's like oh god you guys haven't communicated no we haven't because Adam hit her up and she didn't respond.

54:59She's like, usually I do not respond if people are rude to me and disrespect me. He's like, I don't know that you realize the way you were behaving. And she's like, no. What did I do? Well, when I was setting the table, you came by and you were like, if you're going to do it, do it right. Meanwhile, cut to Reza walking around the house being like, MJ, if you're going to lose this house, do it right. Reza trying to make that a huge deal is so funny. She was not even being mean to you. She was such a wuss. I know. I think she was like being jokey stern, right? And so he's like, when you yell at a bunch of people that live in the valley, that there are no good restaurants in the valley, the food sucks in the valley.

55:39He's like taking this whole thing of like, how dare you insult the restaurants in the valley? And so this guy's like. The valley business district. What do you call that? The chamber of commerce or whatever. this guy's like okay reza okay just going back and digging into that shithole i can't do this digging into the shithole that you created how could you say that our shitholes in the valley how could you talk about the valley like this you know these people are new to the valley when they're not used to people talking shit about the valley like yeah you'll be fine so um reza's like but from your words that's where this is all coming from and the way you were talking to people stop attacking women in public like go away just fucking go away you're such a little gnat yeah go away stop trying to start public fights with people so awkward yeah and sky's basically like yeah i think you're trying to start baby i'm not into it i'm really i'm not into it so but your words those your words she's basically like whatever yeah and mj's like but i feel bad now.

56:43So then we see the cast standing against the wall and Adam's like oh, do you think she's taking accountability? Or as we call it, taboo-le-ility? And Natasha's like, oh. And he goes, yeah, I'm going to say no. I'm going to say no. So then we go back to the conversation. This guy's like, oh my God, Bumshad, he's being so rude and gross. He's like, oh, you know, there's nothing else to say. What else does he have to say, huh? Well, I don't have to listen. So now Reza comes back to the other group and he's like, I was like, can we talk about what happened and she says no i don't want to talk about the past i want to make sure that sky knew like listen we can be cool and if i'm going to be around you at least i want to be able to explain to you why we had an interaction that we had but she was like whatever i don't like this and then she literally walked away adam what are you doing to that wall sorry practicing the tantric yoga is this awkward stop it also reza that's not what you did you didn't go over there and say hey I hope we can be cool.

57:37You went over there and started another confrontation. Fucking asshole, this guy. So he's like, zero accountability. Double down, triple down. What a waste of time. So Adam's like, well, I have a bone to pick with her. And then he acts like he's walking off, but it's Adam. No, no, Adam, no. Stop. I was kidding, guys. I wasn't really going to do anything. Don't worry. We're safe. So now Gigi is handing out her jewelry. She's like, everyone, here comes Valley Girl jewelry. And they're all handing it out. And then Dennis offers one to Skye. And Gigi's like, what if she fucking throws it down? I might have to get angry.

58:19I might have to use these hands to strangle a bitch because I'm violent. I'm going to surprise her with a Valley Girl charm necklace. V for Valley because she loves the valley so much. Ha, ha, ha. I kind of thrive off this shit. I mean, I thought it was so great. Wow, you're starting a whole business just to troll someone who doesn't even like you. You're so pathetic. Yeah, or care. Like, this is so sad. So they're all, like, they're looking at their necklaces. They're being nice about it. You know, Natasha's like, oh, she did this out of spite. Well, good for her. And Reza Jax is like, it's a bit childish.

58:55It's very childish. But you know what? That's Gigi. Ha, ha. and so Vida Vida walks up and looks at her and she's like oh, is V for Vida? Like no, for Valley Girl She's like, you know this is not real this color is gold of course but this is not real and they're like, no I like that they're trying to make Sky the big villain but Vida's the one who will really just say it She's like, who brought this junk? I know So MJ is like reading it Sky's looking, just not saying anything. And so she hands it over to Bomjad. She's like, put these somewhere away from me. As far away from Erewhon as possible.

59:36I don't want my neck to turn green. It's so cool that you took like a negative connotation, Gigi, and you turned it into something really good. That's amazing. If Reza weren't mad at Sky, Reza would be ragging on this jewelry so hard on camera. She took basically scrapyard metal and put a diamond on it. What is this? And what good did she turn it into? Because that website looks fake as fuck and you can't buy diamonds off of it. So what are you guys talking about? She's like, well, when I saw disrespect to the valley, oh, I just started boiling inside. I just thought it's a perfect time to make it.

1:00:13Also, a V has two very sharp points on it. Two ways to stab people. I'm going to stab him and I'm going to drive off on my Mercedes because I'm a punk. So then Skye is like, oh, Viva Valley, Viva Valley. It's like obviously like they're fake diamonds. I mean, do I look like someone who will wear this on my necklace? How is it that's from sex toys? Now you're doing jewelry? Like she is so pathetic. Blah. She does her blah thing. I don't care what anybody says. I love Skye. she's my favorite person she's like wow oh v for the valley oh yes you're making fake diamonds of course like you're making my points like you said earlier she's just making your point yeah she's great so um sky basically tells mj i'm not ever going to change myself or go out of my way people they know me for years they know who i am i trade people with equal equality and respect and they You bring the bag to my car?

1:01:15I say thank you. Yeah, that's pretty much it. MJ's like, but now, okay. But you're like really not okay with your best friend right now. You got to deal with that. She's like, no. It's like, okay, well, that's not okay. And Bombshot's like, MJ, you need to give it time. You need to let them figure it out on their own. See, look, supportive husband. I did it. I did it. Yeah, this is very reminiscent of the original Valley when they all started shooting and Brittany and Jax would split up at the parties and try and get everybody fighting with each other. And, like, Brittany would literally be like, no, remember, the reason you're mad at her is because she disrespected you.

1:01:52You need to go out there and tell her you're not happy about it. That's exactly what MJ and Reza are doing. They're like, okay, come on, guys. We need to fight. We're on a TV show. So Sky is, you know, Sky and Tanin are sort of, like, looking at each other from across the party. And Sky's like, Tanin thinks that it's, like, you know, this is time for me to initiate too but like you need to know the situation when you stay in that corner and interact with them that's not my problem sweetheart so mj is saying well you offended your best friend what did i do wrong for her my dog is my child i moisturize my child i learned from rachel so she's like you made a comment about the discount of jewelry and it was just a wrong vibe she's oh so i should apologize for this she's like if you love somebody you can take ownership and she's like get out of here i piss on love

1:02:45because you piss on love yes yes sir no that's what you want to hear no she's like but she says your family and who are you gonna have thanksgiving with she goes i'm not desperate honey i have my own family i have my own husband i have my own children i have my own erwan for turkey stop it mj says if you would rather be right about everything then get your friend back that's unfortunate thank god i don't have that kind of drama with my friends right now because it's just so petty i'm like what you do with your husband i have to say so mj you you broke up with your friends the last time we saw you guys you guys wouldn't speak to each other either the only reason you started talking again was to get another tv show yeah so um tanin is talking over by the wall.

1:03:32She's like, guys, I mean, if I see Skye, I'll say hi. It's not a problem. I'm not like a five-year-old, right, guys? And Greg's like, wait, you haven't said hi? She's like, well, I haven't seen her yet. And Amir goes, but she's like, if I say hi, I'll say hi, guys. So, like, Tanin's pretty cool, huh? And she's like, wait, hold up. Hold up, Amir. Go get a drink over there. And then Adam goes, go get a vasectomy. Ha! I'm such a bad boy tonight. So, Tanin's like, well, you know, when you walk into an event, usually you go up to everybody and say hi like bombshot did but she didn't do that so why should i say hi to her oh my god are you fucking five you're all five years old just stop so she finally does she goes to the bar and that's where sky is and so she's like how are you and she's like oh it's exhausting i'm ready to go home she goes yeah me too i've been ready to go since i got here i mean did you see the cracks in the ceiling so you look tiny are you just not eating and sky's like no I eat?

1:04:32It's called Erewhon. How many times did you say it? And then it's just like a real awkward moment where Tanin's like, oh, really? I look thin? Well, maybe it's because my father is dying. But does she ask me? Like, you know that that's coming. You know that that's coming soon. So Vida comes by and says, goodbye. They're selling fake jewelry over there. And Tanin's like, okay, well, I'm going to see you at my event, right, Vida? She's like, oh, yes, yes, yes. Of course, I can't wait to tear it apart. Yes, but I'd also like to thank you for coming to my event, and I would like to thank you, Sky, for coming to the event Vida.

1:05:02You might see from the cheap necklace. But I would like to say thank you for being more of a spitting image than me than MJ could ever be. I know, right? You are my daughter. So Sky's like, I'm going to go. Bye. So Sky goes to say bye to MJ. And she's like, my kids are at home. And Tanine's like, you know what? I went. I said hi because I'm not five years old. And the ego and the pride is above my friendship. This is so embarrassing. Yeah, so MJ tells Tonin about the conversation they had. And she's like, and I said, what about Thanksgiving? What about family? And she says, I have no family. I have, no, she says, I have no, I already have so much family.

1:05:45And I was like, can't you just say you're sorry? And she said, no, I'm not sorry. And then I said, then why don't you guys just move forward? And she said, no. I was like, well, you're really helping things, MJ. MJ's like, all I want to do is help. Antonine's like look I just put her in this little weird box she's my sister and to be honest with you I think I overdid it a little bit with how much you know sky scary jewelry I have or how much support I have and MJ's like hey you put her on a pedestal and Antonine says you know giving no credit to any of the time we spend the trips the family gatherings these are all signs and red flags of a terrible friendship and then we see a flashback of the serum going on the dog Oh, dun, dun, dun.

1:06:28Well, you know, they've really made that one argument about not liking the valley last. Got to hand it to them. Yeah. So basically, it's like, you know what? Now I really want nothing to do with her. It's just disgusting at this point. And that's it. That brings us to the end of The Vow and the Week. Everybody go grab tickets for the Golden Crappies on February 27th over at WatchWhatCrappens.com. We'll talk to you next time. Bye

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