#3250 Ladies of London S4E01: Madam About You

0:00Ben Mandelker: What happens when there's so much that crap ends? Hello and welcome to Watch What Crap Ends, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo we love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker, and joining me today is the magpie-loving, ziggy-swallowing Ronnie Karam. How are you, Ronnie?

0:36Ronnie Karam: Good. Hello. Wow. A new season of Ladies of London.

0:42Ben Mandelker: It's back, baby. We are so excited. We are covering today the first episode of the two-episode premiere. We will bring the second episode recap on Monday. But for right now, we got the first one. Ladies of London is back. We are thrilled. We've always been fans of the original. You can actually go back into our archives if you want to hear some of those recaps. But before we dive into this tremendous reboot, let's just give a reminder that you only have one week left to watch the Crappies replay. That's at watchwhatcrappens.com if you want to check that out. After that, it's gone forever. So go check it out.

1:19Ben Mandelker: It was an amazing, amazing, amazing time. And thanks again to everyone who helped us on stage, backstage, everywhere who helped us put on that show. I can't believe it's been a week already since we put it on. Also, if you want to read more about it, there's a new newsletter that we put out that's free for everyone. You don't have to be a Patreon member. It just lives there. And where Ron and I both wrote about our experiences with the crappies, both leading up to it, putting it on. There's some photos, there's videos, like behind the scenes stuff. It's really cool. So check that out. Also, our bonus episode this week is a free bonus episode.

1:53Ben Mandelker: And it's a double bonus episode. Uh, we interviewed both Candace and Rob Cesarino. I should say Candace Dillard-Bassett made it sound like they're married. Candace Dillard-Bassett and Rob Cesarino, both from the traders. And we talked to them both about the traders and they are just great. They're so fun and they were great interviews. So check that out on our bonus feeds. And then, you know, uh, all the other usual fun stuff, video, you know, what else, what else is there to say? Video. Patreon, am I missing something? Ad free is on Patreon too. So patreon.com slash watch what crappens. And with all that out of the way, let's talk about the London reboot.

2:37Ben Mandelker: Ronnie, thoughts, impressions, considerations.

2:40Ronnie Karam: London for one, the new rain. Loved it. I absolutely loved it. I was surprised that I liked it. I thought it was going to be stupid, honestly. And then with the Real Housewives of London going to another network and not being on this one, I was kind of annoyed because, you know, we only watched the first episode of that, but it was so good. And I was like, why didn't we get this? I want this. And so I just assumed that this would suck because it wasn't that. And it does not suck. I mean, they really went and got some of the looniest people. They're all, well, not all, but the ones that are supposed to be are legit rich and legit connected.

3:20Ronnie Karam: They have a gay now from Made in Chelsea, who I found very funny. He's such a snob. I thought he was really funny. I just loved it. I mean, I loved all the characters. Like, these are people you want on a Real Housewives type show, you know?

3:34Ben Mandelker: Yeah. I did not realize that the gay, aka, what was his name again? Andrew? Mark. Mark Francis. Mark Francis. I didn't realize that he was from Made in Chelsea. That's hilarious. Yeah, I thought it was great. I thought they got a wonderful cast. When the trailer came out, I remember enjoying the trailer and I was shocked that people were like, this looks boring. I was like, what? This already looks really good. And I think this premiere was great. I hope people watched it. I feel like it was actually people were not talking about it leading up to it very much. But then today on social media, everyone's talking about it.

4:09Ben Mandelker: So I'm hoping I'm hoping that it gets traction because this is a great cast. And, you know, the show had like this 15 minute opening party, which was I thought the opening party was fine. I was like, oh, is this going to be good? And then once that once we sort of got past that establishing party where we met all the characters and got into their lives, I felt like the show kind of just exploded and just was so funny and perfect. I was like, oh, my God, I love this show. I'm into it.

4:39Ronnie Karam: so we start off with the typical like london london is the best with different characters being like london it's the best cosmopolitan city in the world london is like the capital of the world everybody's dressed so cool in london london is so grand it's so cool there's nothing like

5:00Ben Mandelker: london and then big pink letters say emma right because of course there's someone named emma on the show like Emma and then Emma is very elegant she's very aristocracy and then Margo she made one of the sexiest British films I mean this is basically the trailer you know so uh we're just seeing sort of like a sizzle real moment like there's this person there's Lottie and Mark and Miss A and Mika and we're just seeing all this stuff like left and right left and right left

5:28Ronnie Karam: and right so and then we got an American coming in to teach etiquette I was like oh good luck sucker. Yeah.

5:34Ben Mandelker: Can't imagine that Brits love that. An American coming in to teach etiquette. I'm like, are you allowed to do that? I feel like it's like in the British Constitution. Americans shall not come to this country until us. My God.

5:44Ronnie Karam: Walking cringe American. Yikes. But seems so sweet as well. So, um, we see London, you know, of course. And then Mark is the first one to talk. Of course, it's a show about ladies. Give the guy the opening line. But he's like, well, there's a reason we call summer in London, the season. Because it's when everything happens. It's when London is in full bloom. There quite simply isn't enough time, no matter how many champagnes are poured. There's just too much to do. On any given summer's day, you will find a marvelous garden party.

6:18Ben Mandelker: So, I was not as sold on Mark. I was so excited for there to be a British gay on the cast. People were actually upset about that. They're like, it's called Lades of London. Why is there a guy there? I'm like, okay, relax, everyone. And so I actually was like, actually came into this show ready to like, just have this man's back and be like, he deserves a spot. I found him to be actually a little annoying. I felt like he was a bit like, it felt like I was watching a regional theater and there's a character for a British gay man. And he was on there's like, hello, horrendous fabulous. I mean, maybe that's just who he is, but I just felt like he was, he was like putting it on a bit.

6:58Ben Mandelker: And I was like, okay, okay, okay.

7:00Ronnie Karam: i 100 love him i find him to be completely dead inside um which i loved and i don't think he's faking that and he's just like a real phony frilly gay you know he's like one of the richest in the group he's like socially connected to everybody he's a total monster but says everything in like a really dead pan dead pan yeah i thought he was absolutely he looks like a doll like a weird doll mom like his dye job his face tuning whatever he's doing is crazy and i just loved it i wasn't expecting to like him either but i really he was cracking me up and then it helped that after i saw clips of people posting of him in made in chelsea and i was like yeah he's he's really funny well i haven't seen the second episode everyone's going to and he's like well i'll never step a foot in there why not because everyone else is there maybe i just need like a learning curve with him

7:57Ben Mandelker: uh i've only watched the first episode i'm gonna watch the second one this weekend and you know he definitely does seem like a phony and i never want to get on his bad side he is definitely one of those vicious gays who will just destroy anyone he doesn't like and so i'm my days are probably not in london at this point i just have to wrap my head around it like i do like your perspective on it like he's just dead inside and fake and like rather than me being like he's so inauthentic be like wait no that's his brand that's what makes him fun to watch is like that's a good that's a good way that's a good way in for me on his character well i don't look at

8:32Ronnie Karam: these and think like oh my gosh who do i like i think who is funny and who's a good character and i think he's a good he's a very fun and plus we get to do this voice but i mean that's a little Martin Lawrence Ballard, but he does have that, like, to his voice. He just doesn't have as much personality in it. It's very, like, deadpan. So I'll work on it. But we go to Kimmy. Which one's Kimmy? I'm going to be asking that a lot.

9:00Ben Mandelker: Kimmy is... Okay, I pulled up the cast because I'm still... Oh, Kimmy's the teeth.

9:04Ronnie Karam: She's like his best friend, right?

9:08Ben Mandelker: Kimmy is... Oh, yeah, Kimmy's the teeth. Kimmy's the american who has been in britain long enough that she now has like a quasi british accent she's fabulous why am i not drunk right now and she's always laughing at everything mark says okay there

9:21Ronnie Karam: are two characters in here kimmy and then the lady with betty davis from all about eve hair

9:26Ben Mandelker: that's martha martha okay so kimmy and martha are my favorite they're they both have this super like

9:34Ronnie Karam: oh we're so fun and they're laughing like maniacally but then they're also really dark they've got like this super dark undertone to them and so i love both of them immediately so kimmy's like oh i first met mark when he was 19 and i've gotta say if i wanted a sperm donor i would have he's so good looking

9:59Ben Mandelker: yeah crazy mark mark tells us i'm not a socialite i'm a social animal i live for people and i get all my energy from people i bring lots of people together and i just throw them all in one room and wait to see what happens and kimmy is one of those people who reminds you that life is so much more fun when you just let go let an american in and just see what happens oh my god let me prove

10:22Ronnie Karam: this. Is that a fan? Is that a fan? Oh, I love a fan. Who's going to put it on my hoo-ha? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. So

10:32Ben Mandelker: Kimmy shows up at this garden party at the Dartmouth House and she has this big floral headdress and she's like, I've been living in London now for 25 years and there's not as much judgment here as there is in America. If you have a glass of champagne at 11 o 'clock in the morning in the States, people start telling you you're a problem drinker. Ha ha ha ha.

10:52Ronnie Karam: Two days earlier, she's telling a waiter, I need a drink every 15 minutes until I pass out. And then I want one every six minutes.

11:04Ben Mandelker: But in London, they put on a super, they put John like a superstar badge or something like that. If you drink like that, I mean, come on in.

11:14Ronnie Karam: So next we get Miss Hay. Missy? They pronounce it Missy, but she's got an accent over the E.

11:20Ben Mandelker: Yeah. It's like a. And on top of that, she's also Swedish. So like this faux French version of the word, of the name Missy, it just doesn't seem to make any sense.

11:30Ronnie Karam: Well, let me tell you, Missy's hot and she knows it. She's like, I like sexy looks. I'm very comfortable in my own skin. Well, then why aren't you wearing it? Because that is not your own skin. I don't know whose it is, but you look crazy.

11:46Ben Mandelker: Sometimes I look at Missy's outfits and I think, you're just waiting for a breeze, aren't you? nips lips her best friend

11:53Ronnie Karam: well if I had a body like that I'd be half naked too am I right so Missy comes and sits with them and Kimmy's like well you look particularly naked and hot

12:09Ben Mandelker: I grew up in Sweden and I work as a model for most of my life I travel the world but there's something about London that I always come back to especially for my job you know with fashion with modeling people like know my name here because i'm missy spelled miss a but swedish mythy were you in

12:26Ronnie Karam: a bit are were you in a bit are oh you must have been because look at you you're so tan you turn so easily i'm not tanned until september so here comes mika the etiquette expert from

12:40Ben Mandelker: america ooh make is just so nice and it's not a facade she's she's not trying to play you but But in London, it's not something we're very well accustomed to. You know, Americans. So Mika comes in and she gives Mark a little gift. And he's like, no, no, I mustn't. I mustn't. I promised my mother that I would never be seen in public receiving a gift from an American. Please, please send this away from me.

13:04Ronnie Karam: Don't ruin me, Daughton of House, please. So she comes in and she's wearing, she's the actor, right?

13:11Ben Mandelker: No, Mika is the etiquette expert.

13:13Ronnie Karam: Oh, Mika, Mika. Oh, Micah. I'm sorry. Micah. So she comes in. She looks like Hannah Brown from The Bachelor. Or who's like another squinty-eyed person?

13:25Ben Mandelker: I don't know why she sort of reminded me of Gloria Estefan in like 1991. I don't know why. It's probably not a proper comparison. But for some reason, I just kept on thinking Gloria Estefan.

13:36Ronnie Karam: Yeah. He's like, she's very friendly, which is disgusting in this town. It's like, hi, everybody. Wow, there's nobody like Mark. Everybody knows Mark. You'll walk into a restaurant and you can't get to the table because he's stopping at every single table before your table to say hello. I was like, she's going to get eaten up. Oh, they're going to eat this girl up. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappens commercial. Next up is Lottie. Lottie is a graphic designer and she's married to this guy who's kind of, he looks like. I think. He looks like a joker on a deck of cards.

14:17Ben Mandelker: Yeah, because they do, they are, they also are like tailors or they are.

14:24Ronnie Karam: He's a tailor to the stars.

14:25Ben Mandelker: He's a tailor to the stars. And they like work with celebrities to give a look. So does she do the design for like the prints and everything? And then he tailors it? Is that what it is?

14:33Ronnie Karam: I think she said at first I thought she was like a fashion designer, but then I read a bio and it said she's a graphic designer. Here she just says she's a designer and he's a tailor.

14:43Ben Mandelker: They both look like Tim Burton creatures. And so Micah's like, Lottie and Joshua are super cool kids. They're trendsetters. And they know of everything. They do what they want. They don't care what people think, which I love about them, except for the fact that I professionally am in the business of having people care what you do, because that's etiquette. Anyway.

15:03Ronnie Karam: And this guy is real weird looking on purpose. You know, he's like real pale and super skinny. He's got long, straightened hair. And he's like, he's got like a little twisted mustache. She's like, oh, hello. I'm an odd duck, everybody. And Kimmy's like, oh, look at you, Joshua. Your look matches what I like, like cool taxidermy sort of thing. And they just stare at her. So we see a split screen of her stuffed bird in her house and then Joshua next to each other. And she goes, oh, don't worry. I love everything that's dead looking. so glad he's like i work with my husband joshua kane celebrity teller to the stars

15:44Ben Mandelker: we both work in design and we do a lot of red carpets tom holland jason mamoa we dress sabrina carpenter for the brit awards you know that kind of thing and kimmy's like mark and i we were lovers in the 90s then we decided we could do better darling i wasn't even born in the 90s you

16:03Ronnie Karam: fucking bitch contain yourself

16:09Ben Mandelker: is Emma coming Emma's in Cannes she's got work to do and so we see Emma and it says this is Emma and Emma's just in Cannes and she's smiling and we just come back

16:21Ronnie Karam: it's me I'm Emma glamorously smiling in Cannes then we go back to Lottie and she's like well Micah obviously we know you do like etiquette stuff but like British etiquette or American etiquette because like does American etiquette even exist? That's

16:40Ben Mandelker: in British. I'm sorry but I've heard

16:43Ronnie Karam: something in America called the Cracker Barrel. Is this a true thing?

16:49Ben Mandelker: I turned on the television and I saw something called a Kid Rock and this is the land that apparently has some sort of etiquette.

16:56Ronnie Karam: Well my company Beaumont Etiquette is an etiquette consultancy where I teach people from all over the world. Etiquette. Okay. Show my book. Business etiquette made easy. The essential guide to professional success. Yeah.

17:11Ben Mandelker: People come to me from all over the world to give them confidence because they see me and they say, you know what? It could be worse. I could be American. And then they go back to wherever country they came from and just feel so much more empowered.

17:23Ronnie Karam: So we see a little clip of her teaching somebody and she's like, no, the way that you approach an audience is you come out, you look everybody straight in the eye with your mouth a little open. Your eyes are open, your mouth is open. Okay. So you go like this and then you say, hello. And you look everybody in the eye and the lady's like, um, hello. Okay. A little more work, a little more open your mouth more. Okay. Okay. Stick your tongue out just a little bit. Okay. Eyes open. Now look at me. Okay. You're doing great. You're doing good. Ah.

17:51Ben Mandelker: I love that American etiquette includes how to walk on stage at your own talk show. Well, part of American etiquette is fork on the left, knife on the right, and make sure your mouth is open a little bit when you start your talk show. We all have talk shows, right?

18:08Ronnie Karam: Well, yeah, you know, the table setting's different, so I will tell you that. And Lottie's like, oh, stop the cutlery on the outside. Yeah, so nobody wants to sit next to me at the dinner table. Kimmy's like, oh, I don't, I haven't even gotten to cutlery yet.

18:26Ben Mandelker: Well, there's this wonderful woman who I won't name. And every time her husband cheats on her, she was overjoyed. And Missy's like, no. What? He goes, yes, because it meant she got a new Picasso. And so she ended up with one of the world's greatest collections of Picassos. But of course, she had to pretend she was mortified until the picture was up. And then she was there calling for more girls, more girls. Get me those Picassos.

18:51Ronnie Karam: She had an escort agency on speed dial. hello that's your friend and it goes i'm gonna say it's like um who are we talking about oh apparently micah your friend is a madam is that true and she's like wait what what friend dara she's a madam we all know about it and micah's like oh my god not not my friend dara flashback

19:19Ben Mandelker: to two days earlier kimmy's at a restaurant with mark and martha and we have kimmy saying this dara girl do you know her and martha's like oh i called someone else who knows her

19:29Ronnie Karam: and they told me she's a madam oh nice well that's what i heard mark's like oh well she's not coming to this party no madams allowed it a garden party at the dartmouth oh wait she's not coming and martha's like well i suppose you work 24 7 when you're madam don't you this martha chick i can't stress enough so she looks 30 in a way and she's got in in certain lights like she just it's so crazy because she looks so different every time you look at her and she's got this haircut her hairstyle is just like betty davis from all about eve i mean it's curled like she puts the curls in her hair but only on the sides.

20:15Ronnie Karam: She dresses like she's from the fifties. She's an absolute trip. And yeah, she talks like this, but I immediately loved her. Cause I was like, is she, is she from a different period? Like did they time machine her in here? And she wears the hair the same every time you see her.

20:30Ben Mandelker: Yeah. It's amazing. It sort of reminds me of Madonna in her Evita era when she wanted to be taken seriously. And she was also sort of like wearing that kind of hairstyle around at all the award shows and uh this lady she is like already topped here bravo liberty i mean i mean this show in general the ladies of london franchise has a way of finding some like best of the bests you know of that bravo has ever had to offer between caroline stanbury and caroline fleming who i hope makes some sort of return and now this lady i mean really it's just so good there's just such a such a pool of talent for Bravo Lebrides over there in London.

21:07Ben Mandelker: So we're back to present and Kimmy is saying, is it true? Is she really a madam? Is Dara really a madam? And Mika's like, what? No, she's like a Harvard architect. And Mika's like, no, this is, it's not nice. He's not nice to say this. Like, yeah, she's highly intelligent. Why would you say that? And Kimmy's like, well, she could moonlight as something that makes more money than being an architect. Last of my check, London was built 500 years ago, right?

21:33Ronnie Karam: Well, it's very untrue. And I've known her since college. And we've known each other for 40, I mean, for 24 years. Sorry, that was dyslexia. We've known each other for 24 years. Kimmy's like, but how do you know, though? I mean, you can know somebody and not know that they're a madam, right? And she's like, well, I work right above her in the same office. And so then we see Dara. And it says, this is Dara on the screen. This is three days earlier. So Micah comes down and she's like, I was 17 when I met Dara. Our friendship has always been pretty strong. Cut to Dara. She goes, yeah, we weren't really super close.

22:08Ronnie Karam: Yeah, well, we met at the University of Florida, and Dara and I have called each other Bunny for over a decade. Oh, my God. She calls me Bunny. She's such a loser.

22:19Ben Mandelker: Dara is so unimpressed by Micah. So Micah enters the office, and she's like, hey, Bunny. Dara's like, yeah, can you just call me by my regular name? Thanks.

22:31Ronnie Karam: Fast forward, we're both in London and we meet back up and we're still not that close.

22:37Ben Mandelker: We always support each other through career, motherhood, friendship, bunny things.

22:44Ronnie Karam: Michael looks up to me for business and I feel like she's still really trying to find out what it is that will bring her success and she's not quite there yet.

22:55Ben Mandelker: So Micah gives Dara a little box and Dara's like, um, what's this? It's a gift. It's a productivity tool for us. Oh.

23:05Ronnie Karam: Okay, let me help. Oh, wow. Pink walkie-talkies. Oh, wow. Do they have to be pink, though? Okay, I love this. Can someone put this in a drawer somewhere in another building, possibly?

23:18Ben Mandelker: Could maybe someone write a memo to Dara that I'm a successful architect and we're not in high school anymore? Okay, just thank you. Thank you. Back to the garden party.

23:32Ronnie Karam: This is poor etiquette to be starting rumors like that. I can tell you that much. And this could not be further from the truth. And Lottie's like, no, of course it's not. She's a very professional woman. Well, they usually are, aren't they, darling?

23:49Ben Mandelker: So now they're just like, now that we can Kimmy. And Kimmy's like, well, I heard from Martha that your friend Dara, she's a madam. And Micah's like, oh, God, no, what? And Kimmy's like, well, I didn't say that she's not nice. I just thought I'd brought my CV with me.

24:10Ronnie Karam: The word madam isn't really something that you would throw around, especially at a garden party. Well, I did go on a date that she set me up on. I mean, I'm a model. And then they all start cracking up. Missy's like, yeah, well, I thought that she was going to be showing up for the day, too, but she never showed up. it was just me and some old man. That was, that was, she was hooking you up, I'm sure. She's like, well, she likes to connect people together. I don't know. Are you a madam for that or no? I didn't get paid.

24:42Ben Mandelker: Kimmy's like, could you excuse me for one moment? I need to be fabulous in a different section of this boring party. So she walks away and Lottie, Micah, and Missy are together and Lottie's like, well, that was wild. And Missy's like, yes, that's a really funny thing to say about the madam thing. And Micah's like, well, in America, that would be like defamation of character, what she just did. And Lottie's like, I love that Americans go straight to the suing. Lottie is so snobby about Americans. Like, she has dissed Micah like two or three times already.

25:16Ronnie Karam: Yeah, but seriously, yeah, but like, we'll sue you. She's like, go make fun of us all we want. We'll still sue your asses. So then we go to Kimmy, and she's getting drinks off a tray and consolidating them into one glass. She's just like pouring one into another

25:31Ben Mandelker: and taking the big glass. And then she's like, and now you can still sell that one. You can still serve that one. There's still enough in there that counts as a serve. So

25:41Ronnie Karam: they're asking, where's Martha? Where's Martha? And now here come Martha and Margo arriving. Wait, where are we now? Are we at the same thing?

25:48Ben Mandelker: No, same party. The party's like quite long. Everyone's arriving. So Martha and Margo arrive together. Martha is the one we love. We were talking about. And Margot is an American who's also an actress.

25:59Ronnie Karam: So they show up. And she's wearing this really thin purple dress and her nips are out. So everyone's like, oh my goodness, nipples. Oh my goodness. Not in the Dartmouth.

26:08Ben Mandelker: Kimmy's here. Kimmy's a good time. I've known her for nearly 20 years now. And I met Kimmy through one of our great British millionaires, Philip Treacy. Philip Treacy. Yes, look at him. And Kimmy is like... Yeah, one day he said to me, Kimmy, I want you to meet your blonde nemesis. And I was, it was Martha Sitwell. And I was like, I'll tell you what sits well with me. This bitch. Hey, check us both to Derby. It's his reservoir bitches.

26:37Ronnie Karam: Yeah, Martha got in the car and she was like, oh my God, I need more cigarettes. But I've run out of money. I just fucking love her. And I paid for a lot of cigarettes. They're very expensive now.

26:48Ben Mandelker: Yes, we just went and set the town on fire, quite literally. Have you ever thrown a match at a poor person's home? It's great fun.

26:57Ronnie Karam: Well, I've known Martha, gosh, at least a decade. Oh, how did I meet Mark? Let me think. Oh, I've always found her intriguing, interesting, brilliant, unique, opaque.

27:10Ben Mandelker: I definitely met Mark at a party, but don't ask me more details than that, because I was absolutely hammered. as I am right now, I'd like to add.

27:19Ronnie Karam: Oh, well, someone's got their nipples out today. She's like, yeah, I didn't realize how cold it was going to be, but they're hard.

27:29Ben Mandelker: So now they're drinking, and then Kimmy's like, let's get a shot of tequila. But Margot's like, no, no, no, she's sober, this one over here. American. And Margot's like, yes, can I have something mock-taily?

27:41Ronnie Karam: They're like, ooh, it's boring. Well, I'm from South Carolina. I got to London when I was 18. I stayed here until I was 30. And then I moved to LA. And now I'm back in London this summer to work on a British TV show called The Trip. Oh, Margaret, I met her 20 years ago.

28:00Ben Mandelker: Yeah, she was dating this Persian prince. And her brother had a big crush on me, of course. I mean, his brother. And I was like, this girl's amazing. And she was so beautiful and so fun. And she was so warm. And he loved me.

28:14Ronnie Karam: Yeah, so now Lottie, Missy, and Micah approach them, and Kimmy's like, oh, these are the ones that told me the Dara story. Madam! Oh, well, I simply cannot keep a secret. I mean, Margot heard that Dara was a madam, so of course I spread the rumor. I mean, we heard a rumor. It may or may not be true, but what's a rumor if you're not going to spread it? it.

28:41Ben Mandelker: You have to remember that British madam is much higher than American aristocracy, so really it's a compliment to elevate her that high.

28:52Ronnie Karam: Well, I've known Dara for 24 years. We met as teenagers at the University of Florida, and she went to Harvard, and I went to New York. And Margot goes, um, University of Florida? Madam side. Harvard? Not madam side.

29:10Ronnie Karam: they're fucking relentless and it's cracking me up like not one of them is like that's terrible we shouldn't say that like shut up she's a madam university of florida keep adding to the evidence

29:22Ben Mandelker: yeah seriously so margo is like i mean this girl said to me oh she's like really spicy and difficult so now we have another flashback of dara talking to micah and dara's like so i just went to um corchevel where we had a 33 grand bottle of wine okay and it's like this is dara again they keep doing that they keep putting this like big brush font up

29:45Ronnie Karam: every time they call dara an asshole they go this is dara being an asshole i know uh margo's margo says um yeah and another woman was like oh i think she's a madam well it could not be further from the truth. Well, the thing about me not drinking is that I get, like, really bored, and I need to, like, entertain myself somehow, so let's just keep talking about her being a madam.

30:09Ben Mandelker: Oh, come up with new trouble. So Micah's like, Dara is not here to defend herself, and it's up to me to stick up to Dara, because I would want her to do the same for me. That's what friendship is. And poor Micah, she does have that kind of, like, earnest American quality, while the rest are just, like, British and sardonic. Even, like, even Marco, who is American, and Margot and Kimmy are both American but they have now adopted just being British and sardonic and they're like oh please she's a madam and she's that makes her all the better for it at least she's interesting unlike you etiquette person so then we go to Micah is Dara

30:48Ronnie Karam: yeah she's really stupid and I hope she dies back to the party well she spends every hour working she's a good mom she's a good friend She's a real professional. She's a worker. She's an architect. She's an entrepreneur. She knows how to open her eyes and her mouth when she says hello. She's so smart. She could not be further from a madam. The time just clicks and everyone's getting really bored with her. And then, you know, she can roller skate, I think. I mean, it's on her special skills. I'm not sure if she really can. Don't quote me on that, but I'm pretty sure she can. You're going to grow to love her.

31:19Ronnie Karam: You're just going to love her, everybody.

31:21Ben Mandelker: They're like, we're bored of you. so Lottie and Missy are talking and Missy's like I just feel a bit bad and Lottie's like why was that too much time talking to an American same for me and she's like no because Micah she's so nice and you know we were you know where we left the lunch and she's like yeah three days earlier Lottie Dara this is Dara at lunch this is a bitch at lunch

31:49Ronnie Karam: Micah is my friend like I've known her since college but like we're very different people.

31:57Ben Mandelker: Oh, back to present, Lottie speaking. I remember that lunch.

32:01Ronnie Karam: And then we left the lunch and we were talking about our car. We were walking about to our cars and Darius said that she was like embarrassed of her. Like Darius was saying she's so cringe and you know when you know someone from your past and you're embarrassed, they're going to embarrass you because you built this whole new image. Well, yeah, that. Do you think I should tell her or not?

32:22Ben Mandelker: Lottie's like well if you want to get involved in other people's business then you can but if I were you I wouldn't be doing that I think it'd be more fun if we just laughed behind Micah's back don't you British don't forget yeah so Lottie is also pregnant and nobody knows yet

32:38Ronnie Karam: except Missy and Dara because she told them at that lunch so she's like oh my god I need to Lottie's like well I I wanted to get everyone together because I wanted to tell you I'm actually pregnant. By who? Not that stick figure with an evil villain wig.

32:54Ben Mandelker: How does someone created in stop animation get a human pregnant? Is it the cast of

33:02Ronnie Karam: Nightmare Before Christmas in your bed? By the way,

33:06Ben Mandelker: this is the difference between British people and Americans, because if it were an American, it would be a whole party and they would arrive in a carriage and then go up in a staircase and be like, everyone, I'm so glad that you're here because guess what? And it'd be like doves would come out and fireworks and be like, I'm pregnant. But here she's like, guys, gather around. Well, you're close enough. That one's not, I'm not even sure. Do you count as being in the circle right now? Are you in the group? I'm pregnant, guys. Okay, carry on.

33:35Ronnie Karam: They're like, oh, wow. Someone's adding more to the London traffic. Thanks. Thanks for that.

33:43Ben Mandelker: So Mark is like, bring her a glass of wine immediately. that was a joke and Art is like no no okay you can't tell Mark okay I'm like this still look I've got a teeny tiny bump don't I look hideous well I just thought

33:56Ronnie Karam: you had IBS well I'm pregnant not fat I mean come on I'm up the duff babe yeah and we see on screen it says up the duff is British slang for pregnant

34:08Ben Mandelker: and then the next screen says you dumb Americans this is Dara this is Dara

34:14Ronnie Karam: He looks like she's up the duff. God, I hate Micah. Back to present. So Kimmy needs a strong drink now. And now we watch Micah walk down the street. And she's like, okay, here's how it works. In the UK, there's royals. And then there are aristocrats. And then there's just other members of London society. And they don't have this in America. So the Americans are like, whoa. But here you could be sitting in a pub next to a lady or next to a prince. And it's actually very common. And it's like seeing Jessica, Sarah Jessica Parker in New York City. I mean, it just happens all the time.

34:49Ben Mandelker: Lottie bumps in and says, you know, while we're mentioning it, yes, there are royals and there's aristocrats and the members of London society. Then you have basically people on the street, commoners, rats, general sewage, and then the Americans that come over to visit.

35:07Ronnie Karam: Commercials. Here comes one right now. So now we go to Martha. It's a Martha scene. And she's like, my title is Martha Lady Stilwell. My lady title came from marrying a baronet, which is the lowest on the rung. Let's be honest. But it's not a hereditary title. Hard blink. Hard blink. Hard blink. Yes, hereditary titles have been done away with now. So what great granny fucked King Charles. Whatever. It doesn't really matter now. All right. Hierarchy of English nobility. Let's go through. Duke, Marcus, Earl, Viscount, Baron, Baronet. You've got it. Has everyone got it?

35:47Ben Mandelker: And then we... And now we have our first real moment with Emma. So Emma's like, my title is Martinez of Bath. My husband is the Marquess of Bath. And Micah probably needs a bath. She's American. Just want to throw that in there. I'm catching up because I wasn't at the party.

36:04Ronnie Karam: Emma is the embodiment of modern aristocrat. aristocrat. She's cool, she's trendy, but at the same time she holds a great grace, the weight of being one of Britain's most important aristocrats.

36:17Ben Mandelker: She's also the first black woman to be married into an aristocracy family, and I think Meghan Markle tries to claim that, but it was actually Emma. I'm like, well, of course this show's gonna take some strays at Meghan Markle.

36:31Ronnie Karam: So now we see 160 kilometers west of London, and we're at Longleat, Emma's Wilshire country home. She's like, I'm of mixed heritage, half Nigerian, half English. The press commented heavily on the fact that I was going to become the first woman of color to hold this title. Let's put up a headline. Racism feud at Longleat, her claims. His mother suggested his Nigerian wife would harm the bloodline. Thank you. And And I acknowledge the fact that I'm the only one still, the only woman of color in this position is me still to this day. And now I would never say suck at Meghan Markle, but I will imply it.

37:13Ben Mandelker: I did it first. What does it mean in 2025 to have a title? Well, for me, it matters in the context of the estate and the house and the family. My husband, Kiewlin Thin, spelled C-E-A-W-L-I-N, which I've been told is a spelling that makes no sense to Americans. They don't know how to pronounce it. Is it a Slyberlin? Is it Q-Lin? Is it Cowlin? It's our little British inside joke. We come up with these names just to befuddle them. It's probably Colin, don't you think? Colin? It's probably John. It's spelled Q-Lin.

37:50Ronnie Karam: Well, we run the Longleat House, so Longleat House is a stately home. It was built in the Elizabethan times, 1518, bought for 54 euros, I think. Oh, wow. And now it's like 205 million dollars.

38:08Ben Mandelker: It's the biggest house in the UK, by the way. That's right. It's huge. It's a 10 ,000 acre estate with art and antiques and books. And somewhere on my Kindle, I haven't been able to find it. A very huge collection of beautiful things. Longleaters are our main home. but then the kids go to school in London now so I'm half in London, half in Longleton. No two days are the same. I'm dying inside.

38:32Ronnie Karam: Well, we've seen this before now with the Earl of Sandwich and his wife Julie, remember? Yeah. When they were like, oh my God, I'm actually a real lady and we own this big house and it's like so crazy. And then like her second season, she's like, oh my God, I can't afford this house.

38:46Ben Mandelker: Oh my God, we're going to go, bro. Oh my God. I'm going to roll dates into a ball and this will support the entire house.

38:51Ronnie Karam: What if we serve sandwiches at the Earl of Sandwich Castle. Oh my God, I'm going to do it. I'm going to do yoga videos. Maybe I could do yoga videos. Jump balls, jump balls. Julie makes balls. Julie makes balls.

39:04Ben Mandelker: Oh God, Julie. She did seem like so like, ooh. She's married to the Earl of Bath. Wow, like look at her. She's so fancy on the side. She was a nutcase. So then we see Emma with her manager and then going over the schedule Well, it's very important that you go to the, you have to be ready for the season, mum. Okay, the London Royal Academy, you've got to go there, mum. And the Serpentine Summer Party, mum, are you ready to get with that one, mum? And also you're going to Rome with Mithrasa, mum. There's lots, lots of words that Ben Mandelker's not used to saying.

39:41Ronnie Karam: Mithrasa! To run the estate costs a fortune. So my husband's grandfather had the foresight that there needed to be an income from somewhere. so he opened it to the public, which was incredibly controversial. The Queen was very cross with him. R.I.P. bitch. Because imagine having people running through your house. But he was a pioneer. A pioneer, I tell you. He's turned it into a zoo. He opened the first safari park in the world outside Africa, and now Longleat is one of the top 10 % attractions in the world. It's incredibly public. I live in the biggest house in America that smells like zebra dung.

40:20Ronnie Karam: Thank you.

40:22Ben Mandelker: No, they really love saying F you to the crown. First, they open up one of these houses to the public and then they put in safari animals. And then the craziest thing of all is someone who's not white gets married in. But I just love the fact they turned it into a safari. That's crazy. Yes, that's right. I have a safari that I have to pay attention to now. I'm so excited. I did not think that this would be my life at all in a million years. I was moving to Beverly Hills. I was not planning to be in Wiltshire. I thought I was going to be living near Wiltshire Boulevard. And yet somehow now I'm feeding giraffes.

40:58Ben Mandelker: How did this happen? How is this part of the aristocracy?

41:01Ronnie Karam: But, you know, you fall in love, you get engaged, and that's what you do. You follow the money. The money has left me to cleaning up rhino dung. So here we are. Let's go bathe the rhinos, shall we?

41:15Ben Mandelker: Well, I'm just about full from that scone, so I guess it's time to throw mud on the rhino.

41:23Ronnie Karam: Ma 'am, you've got the serpentine ball. You've got to get to roam with Miss Etheria. Oh, don't forget, we've got to mud bathe the rhinos first. She's like, oh, God. So we go, and she gives a mud bath to her rhino, and the rhino is so cute. So cute. And she talks to it, and it kind of talks back. She's like, do you like this? And it's like, rawr, rawr, rawr. She's like, oh, my God, it responded. did. Lady, pretend that you do this every day.

41:47Ben Mandelker: Yeah. I know. But that rhino was adorable. So cute. Just coming over to get its mud and then rolling over, you know. Even though they could just probably set up a mud bath for the rhino in the pen, it's cute that they go and put it on him.

42:00Ronnie Karam: Now this is the classy way to have animals in your home. Now let's go to Martha. The tackiest, saddest way to have animals in your home. Martha, take it away.

42:11Ben Mandelker: Martha, Martha, who's a lady, and a model. She lives in this like cramped, cluttered, kind of like decrepit apartment, flat, but then you start to realize like, oh, actually I think this is her aesthetic. I think she actually wants to look kind of like frozen in time, like an antique shop. It's not that she's poor, it's that she just likes having knickknacks around and toy airplanes hanging on her wall, you know? No, no.

42:39Ronnie Karam: Then we find out, no, no she's she's poor and she keeps getting kicked out from places i mean there's literally bird shit she has a magpie as a pet is flying all over the place and there's bird shit coming up and down her walls there's stains all over the carpet there's paint peeling off the ceiling i mean it's sad it's very gray gardens and she is frozen in time you know with that that hair and everything and what i really like about her is first of all i love a hard blink because that's like it shows something something off and she does this like wonderful like fabulous like i'm always happy And then she gets really dark and really depressed and then heart blinks it away and she's happy again.

43:15Ronnie Karam: It's the weirdest thing. And I'm obsessed with this lady.

43:18Ben Mandelker: Yeah. She's like, babe, babe, come down here. And she's like, I would say that I have a unique flatmate and it's a bird. She has a magpie as her pet. And his name is Hecate. Hecate? Hecate? And magpies, like I, my, I feel like what I know about magpies is that like, for instance, they attack bikers in Australia, right? Like they are known for attacking humans when they are like, you know, in heat when they're, when they're horny or when they're, or when they feel like a human's gotten too close to like their, their nested of babies, they just like swoop down and they attack people all the time.

43:59Ben Mandelker: And I'm like, wait, you got one as a pet. Of course she does.

44:04Ronnie Karam: And she's sitting there feeding him worms. He's just eating. It's like, Hey God, he's such a diva. It's like living with Mariah Carey. If Mariah Carey could fly. I mean, she's fabulous. She's feral.

44:19Ben Mandelker: That magpie only likes to be shot from its left side. So Margo's like, oh, look, we have a dog. Okay. And here comes Margo. Hello, Margo. How are you? Good to see you again. And Margo comes in and she's like, oh, my God.

44:37Ronnie Karam: Oh, my God. Martha, what's happening to you? I'm an actress. She goes, I'm like, I fucking hate this bird.

44:43Ben Mandelker: And so the bird is like flying around. And Margot was like, this feels unsanitary. I don't think I should even be here. She's like, okay. All right, I'm going to give you some goggles. You're going to need some goggles. What happens is, if he's on your shoulder and your iris moves, if she sees something, just a small move, her natural reflexes, stick a beak in it. So she might just peck out your eyeball. And we wouldn't want that to.

45:05Ronnie Karam: All she sees is a hole, and she wants to peck it. She's like, oh my god, Margo, Martha, please, no. And she tells us, Martha is too pretty and young to be in her bird era. Oh my god. She goes, my eyes are really valuable to me. She goes, I know, I know, they're so pretty. Just don't look directly at her carter.

45:27Ben Mandelker: She doesn't like to be stared at. She's very demanding. Be careful. You know, she demands three hot baths a day and a gin martini at six o 'clock, and we see that she literally gives this bird a gin martini.

45:39Ronnie Karam: Yeah, the bird's sitting there sipping on a martini. But bird era's for when you're, like, really old and you have a bird sitting down your back and sitting on your shoulder. I mean, come on, you can't be on your 40s and have a bird, Martha.

45:51Ben Mandelker: Would you like a worm?

45:54Ronnie Karam: Sorry, Hecate got very upset. Marco. No, I don't want a worm.

46:00Ben Mandelker: Marco's literally sitting there with goggles on and the bird is, like, on her shoulder. She's like... I was like, sorry. I unfortunately can't put her away. So Margot says that she met Martha 20 years ago. And she's like, so even when Martha was ever in London getting photographed by everyone at every party, there was just like no door shut to Martha ever. And Martha's like, oh, so, you know, by the way, you know I have no facial recognition. So I'm wandering around Mick Jagger's Christmas party. I'm not even going to apologize for saying that. So I'm wandering around, sticking my hand out and saying, hi, I'm Martha, I'm Martha.

46:37Ben Mandelker: And this lovely old chap who, you know, with this mullet on, says, hello, I'm Paul. And I said, oh, how do you know Mick? Are you in music? Yes, I am in music. So I'm trying to keep the conversation going because this guy's boring as hell. And I said, so are you in production or are you a performer? And he says, I was in a band. And I said, well, cool, which one? He goes, he said, the Beatles. And I said, that's exactly what Hecate loves to eat. How fortunate. it.

47:01Ronnie Karam: Like, oh my god, Martha! Well, to prove that I'm an enormous Beatles fan, I then sang Imagine Atom.

47:10Ben Mandelker: Oh, you mean like Imagine you had electricity in this apartment? Yes, exactly. But then someone pointed out to me afterwards, it's not even a Beatles song, it's a John Legend song!

47:21Ronnie Karam: Yeah, that's after the Beatles broke up, Martha. Well, there's probably loads of people I haven't recognized that were famous. I once did recognize my own, I didn't recognize my own sister for about 10 minutes. She had cut her hair. It was different. She looked different. I didn't recognize her. What do you want from me?

47:38Ben Mandelker: I did a lot of hard drugs. What do you want? So Margot was like, well, how are you feeling? She's like, well, I'm so happy here. My landlord's an actual angel. It's a dead person. I'm squatting in a dead person's old apartment.

47:51Ronnie Karam: Well, I mean, it's a really nice area. The area's nice. You're right by the park. so you know you won't have to move far next time you're kicked out of your house you can just go right to that bench right there i mean it's a little run down you know i mean you know there's damp patches on the ceiling as you can see and it it needs some love but i'm gonna give it a lick of paint and a little bit of love and i'll just make it you know a little cozier i am the eternal

48:20Ben Mandelker: riches to rags and rags to riches story i grew up in enormous privilege uh but then i was home homeless. We see a picture of her and her, she was like bleach blonde with a mohawk. And she was like, and she goes, well, then I was discovered as a model by Vivian Westwood. And I think I was really lucky that Vivian Westwood saw me because she's like an iconic British designer. I mean, I didn't know who the hell she was. I was like, who are you again? She goes, I'm Vivian Westwood. Really? She goes, yes. Remember we, we've met last week. And I said, come into my office for modeling again. I said, I'm not, I'm not aware.

48:53Ben Mandelker: I don't really recognize you. You're a total stranger to me. Anyway, she gave me a job and, you know, without Vivian, there's no punk. There's no sex pistols. There's nothing.

49:02Ronnie Karam: I got a head-hunted. I got a head-hunted model. You know, it sort of brought me back into society. I'd grown up and then I'm going to get rich again. You watch.

49:14Ben Mandelker: Someday, me and Hakati taking Britain by storm.

49:19Ronnie Karam: She's barely holding on this one. So Margo's like, Well, do you think you'll be happy here for a little while? I mean, that's good. Well, I hope I'm going to be here for a little while. I got married. You know, it didn't transpire to be a very happy marriage. And eventually I left with nothing and then fucked up again. I went off and did the same thing with a different man. And I'm determined not to do that again.

49:45Ben Mandelker: And also, like, one has to imagine there's some sort of severed tie with her family. Because if she grew up in immense privilege, but they're not giving her any money, then there's definitely going to be a backstory we're going to find out about well I just tried to burn down the country home that's it so Martha's saying can you go see Margot go go fly over to go go sit on her shoulder go go go so this is where the bird is on Margot's shoulder and she is so incredibly uncomfortable and unhappy and she's like let me go I want to leave so funny

50:16Ronnie Karam: so then we go to Margot again but now she's shopping for houses And we go into this crazy house that's$6 ,000 a night. Okay. That's crazy. And she meets this gay who hates her. And we kind of find out why everybody thinks she's the worst as we go on. So she's like, yeah, the luxury in the city, it's out of control. I'm an actress my entire career. I've worked in London, like never in America. Oh, gross. America, right? American actress. And when I tried to work in LA, no one knew me. people are like oh you're just starting your career at 40 oh good for you i'm like um hello

50:55Ben Mandelker: pretty big i'm pretty big yeah so she it gets turned around this this house really you walk in and there's like a bridge and over like the rest of the house which is down below is wild and margo's like yeah it all started with this it's called nine songs it was like a tiny independent film and then it went to can and then like nine songs was billed as the most sexually explicit mainstream film in all of british history yeah they showed a collarbone and the brits just lost their mind but actually we see a headline we see a headline that says

51:24Ronnie Karam: actress who made co-star ejaculate on camera and real sex scene proud of controversial film

51:29Ben Mandelker: yeah i feel like i never heard of this movie but like obviously it was a big deal because anytime there's anytime one of these movies comes along because it happens once in a while it's like that was real sex everyone gets into a tizzy so she's like people were like you're a whore. You're a porn star. And I was like, what? I'm an actress.

51:48Ronnie Karam: So Kimmy's like, well, if you're an actress, you act. And if you're in a film when you're virtually having sex, you're a porn star. That's just how it works.

51:58Ben Mandelker: Emma's like, it was quite controversial, I said. Scandalous. I might watch it. So Margot goes on and says, you know, one fear I have about being back here is that I just have to relearn this city without late night parties, right? Because I used to love to party in London and I got a lot of jobs from that. And I made a lot of friends from that, but like now I'm married with a daughter who's a toddler. And then I've got two step sons and she's basically like, I'm a mom now and I have to do the mom thing. I'm like, excuse me, go to, go to real housewives of London. Clearly laser London is for like the women who are just like, fuck it.

52:31Ben Mandelker: Party time in London.

52:33Ronnie Karam: Yeah. And she's like, I mean, London's really changed and now I'm different. So I really need this to work. I need my career back. I need more. It's like, Oh, I love that this show's starting out with such darkness, you know? And she's talking to the realtor, and he's like, oh, you know, this is a good neighborhood, you know? Like, there's still sort of a single vibe here. And she goes, oh, you mean like an open marriage type thing? And he just, like, turns red and looks down like, no, I meant there's pubs.

53:05Ben Mandelker: So now we go to Kimmy's house. She's, like, cooking a whole bunch of clams in a pot. So it's like, I love this woman. I love that she's just casually cooking a bunch of clams and her kids come home with, cause she, her husband or her ex brings the kids back and she has two twins, Amadeus and Mimi, hilarious. And her husband is Stuart. And she's like, well, you know, Stuart is the father of my twins. And I was married to him for 23 years. And I've got a little girl named Mimi and I have a son called Amadeus. They're amazing. And they're nine now. And Amadeus is incredibly gregarious. garyous i think he might be he might be straight and i'm really disappointed i'm like no but anyway he turns 10 next year which means he's gonna have his first martini i went to him the other night

53:51Ronnie Karam: and i looked at the check and i said your name is rue because as a kid my name was rude like my nickname was really and he said yeah my name is kangaroo amadeus my parents were kangaroo like

54:04Ben Mandelker: amadeus okay i kind of get that you know his legal name is kangaroo amadeus and i forgot his last like

54:11Ronnie Karam: leavenworth or something i forgot his last oh my god how cute is that that's so austin that is amazing kangaroo amadeus maybe is his last name dear heart yes because i just well because i just searched in kangaroo amadeus oh my god i was like you've heard of him yes kangaroo amadeus dear heart what does he do i didn't look him up he's very nice i don't know what he does he just has he

54:35Ben Mandelker: has a bunch of nice photos up on instagram he um yeah wow that's i just thought that was the most

54:42Ronnie Karam: that is a name austin name i've ever heard oh yeah he's so cute look at him and his name is yeah i guess we shouldn't be shouting out his whole name on the internet but anyway um sorry sorry ru go follow him yeah i just thought it was so cute and i was we were cracking up that That was his name because it's so Austin. And then I turn on the TV and she's like, my son, Amadeus. I was like, oh, really? Well, I know a kangaroo, Amadeus. So are you so boring, regular Amadeus? So anyway, we see Kimmy with her kids. Her daughter is on the spectrum and her husband and son and her. I mean, it's just a family of laughter pretty much.

55:23Ronnie Karam: But Kimmy's demeanor does change a lot with her family. You know, she does have to put on kind of the mom act, I guess. And then there is a darkness here with her and her husband, too. She's like, well, you know, I don't know. I was married to Stuart and it was fine. But then we just realized, oh, God, I mean, we just knew each other for three weeks, really. And then we were married and I don't know. We had a huge wedding at High Clear Castle and that was fabulous. But, oh, God, then, I don't know, we were estranged and we wanted to have a child. And we figured might as well do it anyway with each other.

55:55Ronnie Karam: so he did that and i don't know i just get so much sadder when she's on her own like let's have a

56:02Ben Mandelker: child but then two came out by accident and then they were separated and then and then she's like had them for four years and like you know so but what's it but by the way these kids are so cute obviously they just came from school so they're in their school uniforms but they're like in the like the like amadeus is in like a little blazer you know and then a little bit later on he's like pouring wine. He's just so adorable. And so they're all sitting there and they're like, they're having like a happy family scene because she and Stuart are like very friendly and he's very jokey, you know. But you can tell that there's definitely, like, because she keeps on mentioning that there was like tension between them, but they appear on camera like everything's great.

56:42Ben Mandelker: So there's definitely more to the story than this. And we see Kimmy's like, well, I taught these children really well when I was alone with them during lockdown. How to pour wine. It's a skill. And we see Amadeus pours the wine for his parents and he does the twists that way, like nothing drips. And Stuart's like, oh, I even trust the bottle. That's amazing.

57:03Ronnie Karam: Yeah, he's like, it is a vital skill, darling. She's like, that's what I'm saying. I mean, this is lockdown. That's when I taught them this. Oh yeah. You know, the pandemic did bring good things. Service and children. So that's good. And he puts the cork, put the little cork back. So then we go to Dara's house. Oh my, this is Dara. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. So we go over to her and she's like, oh my God, I need like decking for this property and this just isn't good enough. Back to the drawing board. This is Dara.

57:36Ben Mandelker: I'm an architect. I started a company when I was around 29. University of Florida, Madam Side. Stop it. Harvard, Harvard. Anyway, I have a team that's global. I work with collaborators and developers at Vons and I just need everything to be a little bit more serious because I work in a man's world. And we see, like, she's like, get my nail salon appointment rescheduled. Man's world. I basically never turn off. I find it hard to holiday because I'm thinking about, like, work pretty much all the time.

58:07Ronnie Karam: Oh, my God, I miss my son. His name is Wolfie, but he's at Camp now in the south of France. And he has a lovely stepmother now. And her name is Beatrice York. And then we see this lady and it says, Her Royal Highness, Princess Beatrice. And you always hear those horror stories about how your ex's new partner is not getting along. But, you know, she's so kind. And they put up a headline that says, Eduardo Mapelli Mozzi's ex-wife reveals what it's like co-parenting with Princess Beatrice.

58:43Ben Mandelker: And basically, Dara has said to the press, why would they want to break up this family? father of fiance ditched by princess Beatrice's new lover claims the royal may have been instrumental in their split basically she's like oh my god I love princess Beatrice but like all the press is like she fucking ruined our family

59:04Ronnie Karam: and I'm so lucky to have that sort of support and kindness from a princess princess Beatrice hates this bitch this is Dara so now Micah comes over and they're like oh my god We're like wearing the same slat Like we're wearing black pants and a white No, white pants and a black top Like we're the same I mean, except that your pants aren't really as nice as mine Okay, hi Micah

59:29Ben Mandelker: Well, bestie Or should I say bunny Remember bunny Hey, by the way, I've been trying to radio you With the walkie talkies I am not getting anything back Don't worry about it Anyway, so I'm really excited about your dinner We have a flashback This is Dara planning a dinner. And Dara is FaceTiming with Mark. And she's saying how she has to go to Tuscany. But she's also going to host a dinner for everyone.

59:57Ronnie Karam: He goes, oh, Tuscany? Where in Tuscany? She's like, um, I don't really know. Because my assistant's doing it all. So I'm like, I don't know. He's like, oh, you don't know which part of Tuscany you're venturing into. Oh, my God. What a faux pas. So we cut back to present. And Micah's like, what's the dress code for your dinner? I need to know. Like, what kind of manners are we going with that night? Is it cocktail-ish? Because, yeah, I like to dress fancy. So now we see Martha going to a restaurant. And she's meeting Missy. And who else does she meet? I guess the guy. Lottie. Lottie comes.

1:00:36Ben Mandelker: Oh, Lottie comes? Okay. So they sit at a bar. And Martha's like, oh, my darling house. It's settling into London. No, you're right.

1:00:43Ronnie Karam: It's just the two of them. I'm sorry.

1:00:45Ben Mandelker: No, I think we have multiple scenes that wind up going back and forth in this area because it's a gossip scene. So Missy is like, she's like, yeah, it's good. I'm so happy to be back. I love my new house. I love my area. My daughter's school is very near. They're so upset when I have nip, slip, at drop off. Everything feels easy. My relationship was so up and down, up and down, up and down. And honestly, I just like an overcomplicated life. And like the more I'm like making things easy, I feel like it's really working for me. It makes me a happier person. And Martha's like, oh, yeah.

1:01:11Ronnie Karam: Oh, good for being happy. high fives. I'm happy as well. I am. I'm happy. So we find out a bit Missy. She says that her life is in episodes. She's gone from this glamorous supermodel in Milan, signing for Victoria's Secret, deciding to keep her baby with a football player boyfriend. But then she married, but then who she left. And then we see a headline that says, footballer Anders Lindengard marries modeled Missy in a beach wedding. And then another headline that says, Missy Becquery speaks out about marriage split from ex-Manchester United goalie Anders Lindegård. And then, oh, sorry, then she met the fun guy and had all the red flags I totally ignored, you know.

1:01:58Ronnie Karam: Toey's Jake Hall steps out and smile with stunning girlfriend, Missy.

1:02:04Ben Mandelker: Who I then decided to have a child with within eight months. I've lived like eight. I've lived like five lives. Martha's like, darling, I'm so bored. I'm going to have to start drinking my magpie's martini soon. She's like, okay, well, okay, Mark's lunch. That was fun. Wasn't that fun? It was a really good time. But what about the rumor? Oh, that's Darius and Madam. Yeah, I don't even understand that at first. And now we see unseen footage from the party, which is funny because they could have just shown it to us. It was the same episode. And Missy's like, I thought a madam is like someone high maintenance, like being a diva.

1:02:36Ben Mandelker: And Lanti's like, well, you could say that. but it's like the head of a brothel, or as they call it in America, everywhere.

1:02:45Ronnie Karam: Well, then we go back to Martha, and Martha's like, no, Martha's like, well, that's my fault. I mean, it was me that spread it. Whoops. Oh, you spread the rumor? Well, I spread, I heard the rumor, and then I spread the rumor further.

1:03:01Ben Mandelker: But it's not a great rumor, though. It's like, it's not a great rumor? No, being a madam, that's like soul destroying. going, I thought it made her so much more interesting.

1:03:09Ronnie Karam: I thought I was doing her a favor. Oh, no. I hope I haven't offended anybody.

1:03:16Ben Mandelker: She's going to be upset by that. Oh, shit. So now we go back to Micah and Dara.

1:03:22Ronnie Karam: And Micah's like, of course you miss Mark's parties. And I really missed you because you're my partner. Okay, you're my partner in crime. And Dara's like, I mean, everyone was so wonderful. That's nice. Like, such fun vibes. Okay but then I have to talk to you about a part in person Okay so we're in this space Martha And she brings this friend Margo And then Margo starts telling the party that she hears That you're a madam And she's like Okay well what else Well that's ridiculous and absurd Right she goes you know what Like that bothers you know how much that bothers me Like none Like none

1:03:59Ben Mandelker: She's like um did she just hear what I said about her I just told her that people saying that she's a madam And she's like not even reacting And she's like cause it's like not even True like am I really supposed To be bothered by a rumor that someone Who buys grape scissors for Other people brings to me I don't know

1:04:16Ronnie Karam: But I went into like full Protective mode you know of course I Did you know like I felt like it was happening to Me cause we're like basically the same person Whatever this Is like so beneath me like I Do not even care

1:04:30Ben Mandelker: You know what though I have like real gossip for you. What? When I was at the wedding, one of our best friends was hurt that you're friends with her ex's new wife. Can you believe it? And you were talking about how great she was in a close friend group. And I think that like hurt her feelings. Yeah. Such good goss. People are mad at you.

1:04:52Ronnie Karam: Okay. Well, I'm telling her something negative about her that I heard. And then I'm gaslit into thinking now there's something wrong with me. And I'm like, what is going on? I love this girl, Dara. She's so perfect. She's so perfect for these shows. Oh, my God. And she's like, oh, really? You heard that about me? I heard that everybody hates you. So, well, you asked me for real gossip. So, like, this was real. She goes, no, I didn't ask you for real gossip. You told me you had real gossip. And we see one minute earlier. This is Dara. I have some real gossip for you. That was Dara. So Micah's like, okay, amazing.

1:05:34Ben Mandelker: Well, I think I'm going to head out. Dara's like, yeah, it's like nothing. It's fine. Okay. This is my Harvard side speaking. So now we go back to Martha.

1:05:44Ronnie Karam: Don't worry about it. I'm sure it's nothing. I mean, it just happened in Tuscany.

1:05:49Ben Mandelker: So now back to Martha and Missy at the bar. And Missy's like, well, Dara, she's like so nice. Like, I like her. Okay, but you acknowledge that she's boring and she needed a rumor like this to spice her up, right? But there's like another side to her that's not honest. She's shady about Micah. Oh, oh, oh. How do you mean shady? Tell me everything.

1:06:08Ronnie Karam: Well, it's like we went to lunch with Lottie. So me, Lottie, Dara. And then when we left, she was like, oh, my God. I met her the other day. And she was like so tacky, bringing these pink walkie-talkies to my house. And Dara said, oh, she's embarrassing, so low-class, tacky. She's faking her lifestyle, her whole career. Like the etiquette was just like a myth, you know? Like she just came up with that. That's how she feels, but she said it after Lottie left, just to me. It was like a different tone, you know?

1:06:37Ben Mandelker: Oh, yes, like a whole different personality face, right? That's what you're trying to say.

1:06:41Ronnie Karam: A whole different personality face, totally different. Personality face. You know, negative stuff. So that's her friend of 20 years, and then at the party, Micah, was totally having her back.

1:06:53Ben Mandelker: Oh, also, I love the sound of a pink walkie-talkie, by the way. That sounds like four walkie-talkies super cool. Oh, do you think a magpie would know how to use a walkie-talkie? That could make life so much easier around home.

1:07:04Ronnie Karam: No, it's the tackiness. But I like tacky. It's cool.

1:07:09Ben Mandelker: Martha's completely not moved by this. Her takeaway is like, oh my God, they make walkie-talkies in pink? I want walkie-talkies. She just wants walkie-talkies. Who's Martha going to talk to on a walkie-talkie? She can have one down by the bartender. I'm coming down to just get my martini ready for me. Thank you very much.

1:07:25Ronnie Karam: It's just the bird pecking the walkie-talkie with its nose, its beak. So she's like, well, I'm nervous about this dinner. Me too. So I spoke to Mark and I spoke to Lottie, and both of them said, do not get involved. Like, stay out of it. But I don't know if I can do this. Well, I'd listen to them over me, darling. I mean, my life's a mess, isn't it? I wouldn't take life advice from me.

1:07:49Ben Mandelker: 52 hours later, this is Dara in 52 hours, and we see this dinner that's going to happen, I guess, in the second episode. I'm so excited. Missy is saying like, you put me in a really shitty position. You know, we were talking about your friend and she was like, oh, she's a bit cringe. And Dara's like, I don't think that conversation is necessary and I love you. You know, I do. And Mark's like, oh,

1:08:09Ronnie Karam: yeah. Dun, dun, dun. The drama coming up in episode two, which we will cover on Monday.

1:08:18Ben Mandelker: Oh, fabulous. What a God. I love this show already. These women are fantastic. so thanks everyone for being here and yeah that's it for our crazy week watch your stream, the replay on Kizwi over at our website and have a wonderful weekend hope you have a great time everyone and I hope Ronnie you have a wonderful time I'll talk to you all later we will talk to you all later watch what crappens would like to thank it's premium sponsors ain't no thing like Alison King our way is the amber way It's the Foster and the Furious. It's Amanda Foster. It's Always Automatic with Ashley Otto. Put your hands together for Carly Clapp.

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1:11:33Ronnie Karam: She ain't no shrinking Violet Kuchar We love you guys