#3263 THE 2026 GOLDEN CRAPPIES PART TWO

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1:27Watch what crappens, oh, well, you don't need a crappens. Guess what happens when there's so much that crappens? Hello, and welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. This is part two. Okay, now our next category, Ben. It's a show we love. We love this. It's time to celebrate all things below deck and here to help us do that, Chef Zarina. Yay!

2:12welcome welcome welcome thank you for having me oh my god love seeing you here yes arena i feel like this is the only below deck category well it kind of is because below deck can take over. We've got to relegate you guys to your own category. This is true. I didn't realize so many people liked it. Oh yeah, people love Below Deck. Below Deck is huge. The other thing is that sometimes Real Housewives steals the spotlight. Below Deck is a behemoth in its own right and it deserves a spotlight on this show and many other places. It's the highest rated show on Bravo and it's also the bridge in so many marriages to Bravo.

2:53The husbands are like, I'm not watching this bullshit it anymore and then they put on Below Deck. They're like, okay, I'm here. I can't tell you how many times I've encountered people. They're like, oh, you do a Bravo podcast? Like, yeah. Oh, I don't watch that. No. I mean, I do watch that yacht show and then I know every single detail of every single Below Deck. I had it the other day. I went into an art studio and this man was like, I got my wife into Below Deck. I've never heard that before. It's like he's talking about like fuzzies fuzzies you know i got my wife into it it's below deck you don't have to be ashamed uh so tell me um are you watching the current season i'm actually not i've been really busy but i think i might start watching you have to because it's the it's the second chapter of alicia i know and i i've heard okay he was calling me and i was like oh girl i'm so sorry you got bad oh my god i i have a question i have a question i feel like when alicia was working under you she seemed like a pretty all right sous chef she was able to cut vegetables and put things in things and this season like something happened to her she was like doing crazy stuff in the kitchen what do you do you know like did something happen to poor alicia she works really well with kindness and if you're going to put pressure on her and yeah she gets frazzled you're not going to be with kindness, but I know that people do.

4:22You know, I get it. I don't drink gas, but cars do, so I support it still. So, there's a rumor on Reddit, actually, that Alicia is not even Alicia, that she's actually her twin sister on this one, and that's why... They don't look that much alike, and I'll tell you something, Alicia's twin sister's even crazier. Alright, so that's out. So, how have you been doing since the show? I've been resting. Have you? Right on. Yeah, I took a little bit of a break from the yachting industry, and I'm actually really, really loving it. Really? What are you doing instead, aside from resting? I've basically turned into a Jewish housewife.

5:01Oh, I love that. I love that. Member of my tribe. I've been cooking three meals a day. I've got a kitten. I actually have a life. Nice. That's crazy. It's been really, really nice. Oh, my God. You're going to cry. You deserve it. You deserve it. Serena breaks down. All right, well. I'm taking a break. Okay, so let's go through these below deck moments. Most below deck moment with Serena. I'm not wearing my glasses. You didn't warn me about this. Oh, okay. Well, here, I'll tell you, and then you tell me if you have opinions, okay? Okay. So the first one, drunk lady screams at Democrats before Captain Kerry traps her in a room.

5:43Below deck. That's a picture of me this morning. I feel like an all-inclusive hotel, I'll be exactly the same. Joe makes out with Kizzy while V is sick and alone on her birthday, which is also the one-year anniversary of her boyfriend's death. Below Deck Men. That was bad. That was bad. Kyle has sex with a stranger on the floor of a bathroom stall. Below Deck. But I'll tell you something. There's not many places to get down and dirty on a boat. And there's been some very imaginary places that people do it. And I actually think of my season, Culver and Jamie, who went into the Dirty Bill, which was probably the worst.

6:33Oh, I forgot about that. Where's the craziest place you've had sex on the show? On the show? Yeah. Have you not? In a bed. You're like me. I'm crazy. You want to have sex in the bed? Missionary. Next nominee is Max pets a jellyfish then touches his eye. Below Deck Med. And then this is one I think none of us will ever forget. The poop shower from Below Deck Med. Waffle stomp. I'll tell you something though. So that happens in normal yachting all the time. Does it really? It shouldn't happen that much, but it does. Really? People just poop in the shower? They really, really do. I think they just think, we have money.

7:24We can do what we like. Yeah. Wow. All right. So what would you pick out of these? I think poop in the shower is probably the worst. Yeah, that was mine. Poop in the shower. The poop shower, the waffle stomp, that to me, that stayed with me. That was the most below deck moment for me. All right. the winner of most below deck moment. Drunk Lady Screams. Yes, Drunk Lady Screams. Democrats! Democrats!

7:57Chef Serena, we love you! Thank you, Chef Serena!

8:04Gorgeous! Okay, look at my paper here. C 'est bon, c 'est bon. She sait le vie C 'est bon, c 'est bon She sait le vie And now we'd like to present the third nominee for best show on Bravo, best show of the year. Real Housewives of Miami. Which, if Bravo knows what they're doing, they'll bring back to us very soon. Yes.

8:42Welcome to my narcissist party. Finally. So much like throwing a party like I understand like. This party is not about you, Larsa. You're such a narcissist. See? This party is like about me like. This party is about Todd, you ding-a-lings. But like, when is there going to be a party for me like? This is very narcissistic, Larsa. Very, very narcissistic. Are you guys confusing me on purpose like? Why does everyone keep calling me that and saying it's not my party life? Oh, well, you know, like, Todd is a narcissist, and he broke up with me and never let me talk to him again, ever. All right, ladies, let's throw a trip so Alexia can forget Todd.

9:23Wait, can Todd come? No, that's the point of the trip. But I love him. I love Todd. He's a narcissist. How dare you call Todd a narcissist at his own narcissist party? Yes, me. I'm Stephanie, I'm new, and I'm rich, and if you're not nice to me, you can't fly on my private plane. Alright, well, I don't want to have to sit next to Adriana. Oh. Why don't you fix your wrinkly knees, you old whore? Adriana, behave yourself. You're acting like goat. Kiki put my age on the cake. Stopping ratchet Kiki. You are too old to be talking like that. Oh my gosh, she called me old. This is bullying. But you called her a ratchet.

10:17No, I did not call her a ratchet. I called her a ratchet, like the tool. That doesn't make sense. I called her a hatchet. No, you did not call her a hatchet. I called her a palachet. That's not even a word. Okay, well, you're a narcissist. You're a narcissist, Adriana. Oh, so now she gets a party too. And scene. Real Housewives of Miami. Kind of rooting for that show. You know, that show doesn't get enough respect. They're spreading rumors that they're going to cancel that show. Don't you fucking try it. Don't do it. I've actually gotten out to protest a little bit more the past couple of years I would say because you know the world but you will never see me protest like you do if you cancel that show I'm warning you right now that's right well our next guest we love because there's so much legal shit on Bravo at all times that we're like hey is that illegal hey what's the deal with that lawsuit thankfully there's a podcast to break it all down for us.

11:29And she is one of the co-hosts of it. Please welcome from the Bravo Docket, Ceci Alvarez! Ceci!

11:40Gorgeous. Gorgeous. And very Miami coded as well. Thank you, buddy.

11:49Ceci-la. Ceci-la, Ceci-la. Ceci, we love you. Love the Bravo Docket. Love you, Bo. Love you too, Angela. wherever you may be in Texas. So, Sassy, how's life going on the Bravo Dock? What is the law thing, the legal thing that is taking up your brain space right now? Probably Wendy. Wendy, yeah. So what do you think is going to happen? In my legal opinion, which is my opinion, she's guilty as shit, guys. Oh, no. Sorry. Well, I mean, as my opinion, as someone who reads emails that are published. Same. Yeah. Sorry. What do you think is going on with the Erika Jayne stuff? She's, you know, this season she's back talking like, oh my God, they tried to get me, they're all right to get me.

12:39I'm like, well, yeah. And Kyle's like, she doesn't have the money. Well, no shit. She spent it all, guys. So she's got the one of the bankruptcy trustees suing her. And then what's going on with the Marco Marco one? Do you know? Oh, man. Marco Marco's still going. She really fucked those guys over. I know. Really fucked up. So how's it looking for her in these cases? I think she's going to get her moment. Yeah. It's coming. It's coming. Huh. Interesting. She's done a pretty good job of rehab. So it'll be interesting to see how we react. No, she's going down there. Because a couple of years ago, I was like, take her down.

13:14And I'm like, no. I know. She's great. Love her. Love her again. Just keep chanting, plane crash victim. Yeah. Plane crash victim. Yeah, for sure. I know. Keep in the game. Keep your head in the game. I will remind everyone. Gas explosion. Gas explosion. Okay. So naturally we have you here to present the award for best DJ of the year. I'm just as qualified as them. I have a Spotify premium membership. Absolutely. Let's go. Yes. True. Okay. So to read off the nominees for best DJ. DJ Maddie Reese from Southern Hospitality. Probably the most qualified. Yes. I mean, she opened for James Kennedy once, so, you know.

14:02Dorinda Medley. Probably the least qualified, but no one wants to tell her she's bad because they're afraid of her. And nobody want a glass to the face on that one. You just do it. Meredith Marks, Real Housewives of Salt Lake City. Winky Winky. Whitney, Whitney, Whitney, Whitney, bitch. Probably the only DJ to wear a blazer. Yeah. Uh-huh. Yep. Maybe me next. Who knows? Randy the Butler, Southern Charm. Yeah. Yep. Very qualified man. Yeah. He's probably the best, and he doesn't even know how to use a computer. Yeah. Randy. It's just records. It's the actual records, but he does it old school. Riley Burris, Next Gen NYC.

14:54Yeah, all right. I want to say something about this category. I want to say something. Those are the nominees. When I was showing Ronnie that these were the nominees, you went, oh my God, did we forget to nominate Kyle? The answer is none of you guys voted for Kyle Cook. He was there. and he literally came in last in the qualifying round. Our poor Kyle. Y 'all hating Kyle. After we as a community destroyed his marriage. Oh, he did that himself. Whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm not taking responsibility for that. If I destroy a marriage, I will put a sticker on the back of my car with pride. Okay, I had nothing to do with that one.

15:39Okay, who do you think? Who are you going to vote for? My vote's for Meredith She gives out caviar bumps Wears the blazer It's very low energy Probably on Xanax, I love it Exactly I'm going to go for Meredith Just because I really like Meredith And I think she had a shitty year And I also am impressed with how many people She's pissing off across the country There's always a Reddit thread Like I got fucked over at a Meredith Marks show Because I paid for a VIP And someone spit a booger in my eye Or whatever it is And I'm like this is really impressive Yeah, I'm going to go Meredith Marks also Just because she's an icon Icon Literal mother Best DJ The winner for best DJ is Meredith Marks DJ Meredith Marks How dare you She did it Sassy everybody Sassy, thank you so much for coming

16:42Please go check out the Brava Docket with Sassy and Angela.

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18:43Next up to present the award for best fight. Oh my gosh. Oh, we love this woman from the Morally Corrupt podcast, Rachel Lindsay. Rachel.

19:01Rachel.

19:07I heard back that ass up and I was like, keep going. Thank you for not saying Bachelor, but that too. Oh my God, you're always so beautiful. It's crazy. Yeah, I never know how anybody feels about the past in general. Just in general. Don't we litigate the past on this stage? Yes, we do. You know, like if you say The Bachelor, some people are like, we don't talk about that anymore. We talked to Joanna Krupa once on a podcast. I don't know, some recap podcast, our podcast. But she was like, I'll talk to you about anything except Real Housewives. Oh, I'm not Joanna Krupa. And like, be gone. Like, thank God she's not on Miami.

19:43It's thriving without her. You can ask me about my past. It's part of my story. You know what I'm saying? Love it. That's right. I love that. Yeah. Well, we're really happy that you're here because best fight is one of the most important categories. It defines Bravo. Verbal or physical? Anything. Anything. whatever, any sort of clash. How have you felt about Bravo lately? Do you have any favorites of what's going on? Any shows that are really speaking to your heart? Speaking to my heart? I mean, we keep referencing Miami. Miami is gold. Yes. Miami is amazing. It's so good. I think it's a telltale sign that they ripped it off a peacock and immediately put it on network because it was like, what are you doing?

20:24Miami's great. Potomac ended great. I loved it. It ended great. I loved Potomac this season. It ended great. Like Colorado saved it. It did, yeah. I thought that the season finale was so amazing. I thought them just driving around that state for an entire hour while a timer could take down to them to go to the airport. It was perfect for me. Listen, I travel around a lot with Ben, and Ben loves nothing more than proving somebody wrong on a Google map. I love it. You'll be like, but there is a gas station two miles in the other direction. So. So that was perfect. No, no, no. It saved it. It saved the season.

21:09Potomac's great. Miami's great. What else am I loving right now? Summerhouse is great right now. How do you feel about the new people on Summerhouse? I'd like to. The new people are fine. We don't know enough to talk about it. But like, you know how we were singing the song, like, what would Jesse Solomon do? Yeah. We have to rewrite the lyrics. It's what happened to Jesse Solomon. Yes. Like, what happened? He's failing us. I could go on a whole rant about Jesse. I don't know what happened there, but it's not working. You know, Jesse Solomon has sucked for a long time. No, Jesse Solomon is not here.

21:42Don't worry. A new fight category up here. He's got a good way of making you forget. Like, he's got enough charm to be like, eh. And then you forget the last year and all the fuckery he had going on last year, too. The fuckery is present this year. It is. There is no charm for me. And I think also now he's, like, being a Spotify singer. and it's like, well, I think we've just had enough. Yeah. Like, that's what, you've gone too far. The fact that it says Jesse Solomon, musician, I just, I'm not supporting that. Is that what it said? It says that, yeah. But Summer House is great. So let's move on to Best Fight.

22:12Will you please do us the great honor of reading the nominees in this prestigious category? I'm so honored to be reading Best Fight. I feel like I'm so qualified. You are. To read the nominees. Okay, first up, Adriana and Marisol's inter-yacht argument. Real Housewives of Miami. The Cash, second up, Cash tries to confront Emmy about Will's Southern Hospitality, which is a season-long fight. I mean... Take that image in. If you don't watch Southern Hospitality, look at that. Look at that and reconsider. It's the whole season. That's the whole season right there. Third up, Cole McBee versus a Hill.

22:54McBee Dynasty. I don't watch McBee Dynasty, but anybody who's fighting with an inanimate object, I'm down. That might be my vote. He literally punches a hill. Crying. I've heard enough. A garden part, next up, garden party fight. Real Housewives of Salt Lake City. Sorry, I'm four shots in. That's okay. We appreciate it. Next up, Georgia and Charlie fight about Bluetooth speakers on Next Gen NYC. Too good. Pretty good. Next year, it doesn't get enough. It doesn't get the credit. I love that fight. You know what's coming up next. Haitian mortician fight, Real Housewives of Miami. And last but not least, the whisper fight of Real Housewives of Salt Lake City.

23:42Classic. All right, who would you pick? I mean, you're never going to hear the words Haitian. Haitian. You're right. You will not. That's if the Haitian and the mortician were dating. Haitian Mortician Fight. You're never going to hear those words again in a sentence. I have to give it to Real Housewives of Miami. Yes, the most unique for sure. God, I love that show. Please don't take that show from me. Okay, here you go. And the winner. Did you have a guess? For Best Fight. Did I say Haitician? That's a new word. I'm with you. I'm with Haitian Mortician. No, Haitician. Haitician. Haitician. Haitician.

24:20Honestly, I'm also, this may be shocking. I'm also just you know I'm well documented on how much I hate the McBee dynasty but Cole versus Hill was pretty good an inanimate object's great okay all right and the winner is the Haitian mortician we will never have another killed it Rachel Lindsay thank you so much.

24:50Thank you, honey.

24:54All right. You know what's crazy, by the way, is that I will say that second place on that was the Whisper fight. It lost by 12 votes. Every vote matters. What was it? Whisper vote. Oh, wow. A Whisper fight. Okay, and next up for best show of the year, Married to Medicine. Married to Medicine. Okay. We are gathered here today in this big lots parking lot to introduce you to your future congresswoman for District 19, Heavenly Kimes. Thank you, Quad. This is Quad Lunsford. Everybody, ladies and gentlemen, and Quad Lunsford. Great job, Quad. Great job. I am not Lunsford. I, I, I left that man ages ago.

25:53He disrespected the core of my very soul. Alright, well, Quad Webb, everybody. Quad Webb, everybody. The most respected woman in politics. That man tore my heart out of my chest and served it up on a platter for breakfast. Alright, take a seat, Quad. You're just a campaign manager. Robbed me of my Innocence stole my peas. Hello, citizens. Hello, citizens. I'm Heavenly Kimes. I'm here to represent all of our needs in the government and our mouths because I am a dentist as well and a wig seller. Now, are there any questions on dentistry, government, or wigs? What do you plan to do about the state of the justice system in our city?

26:40Your mama needs a justice system Uh, how are you gonna be a congressperson when you curse people out all the time? At least my husband doesn't have a tiny dick, shut the fuck up, Toria See everyone, see, she can't be the president Your mama can't be president, Toria, shut your goddamn mouth As a doctor who sells vibrators, I would like to remind everyone that we are sisters I object on the grounds that that man took my confidence He put it in a blender He made a smoothie out of it A smoothie I demand respect See you at the polls, everyone Mary to Madison

27:32Oh, Heavenly, please never leave my television Please, I love you so much Now to present the award for best travel drama A friend who traveled very far and wide to be here Elizabeth Day, ladies and gentlemen Author and podcaster Come to me, Elizabeth Elizabeth Day, everyone Welcome to the stage Recently seen on Watch Rapids Live just two days ago

28:09the beautiful elizabeth day everyone elizabeth day the gorgeous god you look incredible no sorry i'm not having that you look incredible oh stop it stop it i know that 95 of people here won't know who i am but all you need to know is that i was once informally approached to be a real housewife of London. Oh, why didn't you do it? I didn't do it because I love watching these shows so much that I didn't want to see how the sausage was made. And I'm extremely conflict avoidant and I just couldn't take the heat on social media. They would have really eaten you up then. I want so desperately for Bravo to bring Real Housewives of London stateside because we watched the first episode and it was like chef's kiss.

28:55It's what we need, is the rest of the season as good as that first episode? Yes. In the first few episodes, there is a cat fight over dentistry. And that, for me, is just like peerless Real Housewives content. You also have a new... And it's child dentistry, right? It's child dentistry. One of the kids went to the dentist. That's right. Yes. And she's like, I wrote a Google review about it. Don't mention the children. And you also have a new book out? Right? One of Us. One of Us. Yes. One of Us is like a mashup of the talented Mr. Ripley succession and the OG Real Housewives of New York. That's so good.

29:39Everyone better get it. So we have you here, Elizabeth, for a very, very important category where lots of intrigue happened in the world of Bravo. This is the category of best travel drama Are you ready? The nominees for best travel drama are Kristen Doughty acts chaotically while Luke tries to repose to her on a boat, The Valley. By the way, I just love hearing your British accent say Kristen Doughty. Kristen Doughty. It's like I've never heard Kristen sound so elevated in my life. Kristen Doughty. Lisa Hochstein arrives two hours late to a Sprinter van Real Housewives of Miami

30:33Meredith Marks has unconfirmed emotional reaction on flight while watching Crazy Rich Azen or did she? Real Housewives of Salt Lake City It's an emotional movie The season finale roaming around Colorado Real Housewives of Potomac

30:56And finally, Stephanie oversees Private Plane Logistics, Real Housewives of Miami. All right. So what's your... Oh, Stephanie getting some booze. Or logistics. I'm not sure what. Logistics getting booze. But fuck logistics. I've had it. What would you say? What's your vote? I have a tie between the roaming around Colorado. because those were three of the best episodes of reality TV I have ever seen. And when Angel was like, the experience is still available to you. And they had 10 minutes to get to the airport. And I was freaking out because I'm someone who likes to get to an airport at least two hours in advance of my flight.

31:41And I was like, they've got the flight departure on the countdown, but they don't have the check-in time. So that was stressing me out. Me too. Oh my God. I was like, is this when they have to be at the airport? Is this when they have to have check-in? Or is this when the plane leaves? Exactly. Okay. And the joint equal is Meredith Marks has unconfirmed emotional reactions. Because in a way, that has shaped so much of the culture of our last season of reality TV. Oh, yeah. But before we announce the winner, can I just say, we are here at the most incredible award show of the year. Yes. Forget the Oscars.

32:18Okay. And everyone else is getting an award, but I want to give an award to you, Ben and Ronnie, because you mean so much to me personally and so much to everyone here. You bring us so much joy. You make us feel seen. You make us feel part of a community. What you do, you make it seem effortless, and it's so hilarious and joyous, but I can only imagine the amount of work it actually takes. And I just want you all to give it up to Ben and Ronnie! Thank you. Cheers. Cheers, everybody. Cheers. Thank you. I couldn't do it without Ronnie. I really couldn't. You too. He's the best partner. That's so sweet.

33:00Okay. Do you agree with her choice? That we're the best ever? No, she chose me. She said Ronnie. Ronnie went out of Ronnie and Ben. I choose Ronnie. She said. I would also choose Ronnie. And I would also, best travel drama, I have to say, partially because it was actually filmed. I'm going to say Colorado Potomac. Wow, y 'all are crazy. I mean, that was fun and everything, but you're overselling that. It is Meredith Marks on the plane. Are you kidding? That is going to shape TV for the next decade. Whitney's going to be talking about that in the old folks. Meredith got drunk on a plane and got mean to Britney.

33:39And can I just say quickly that I've watched Crazy Rich Asians on a plane, and I can't remember the ending. Am I hooked on Ben? Someone finally got good at Mahjong. And that was it. Yeah, it was Mahjong. Yeah, and Michelle Yeoh was fabulous. That's all you need to know. All right, here you go as the winner. Great way to help you. Wait, how do I open an envelope on you? Those nails are incredible. Are those like tiger's eye nails? Those are tortoiseshell nails. God, that's beautiful. All right, the winner for best travel drama. Meredith Marks has unconfirmed emotional reaction on flight while watching Crazy Rich Asians.

34:16Yes, Meredith Marks. Congratulations. Thank you, Elizabeth Day, for being here and for your kind words. Her book One of Us is out now. Go get it. Love you. Thank you so much. Oh, my goodness. Is it this?

34:39That feels right. Okay. Yeah, it's this one. In a ceremony held earlier this evening, we awarded things that just couldn't fit tonight. So, please, in a ceremony earlier this evening, we would like to congratulate the winner for best vote. Throw away vote! The Bill Gates Awards for Excellence in Charitable Giving goes to Britt Eady for donating one pack of toilet paper to hungry children. on Real Housewives of Atlanta. The best tasting substitute for a personality, Adam's Tabooli on the Valley Persian style. Tabooli. The because we didn't have a category for most terrifying mother with a psychiatry degree award, Reba from Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.

35:35Business least likely to gain a single customer after being featured on national television, Wonderland Outdoors, The Real Housewives of Potomac. Congratulations to all of the winners. Congratulations, congratulations. And now someone is here to present Best Scandal, who was actually involved in one of the best scandals of the year. And I think a lot of us are still pretty pissed about it. Please welcome to the stage the absolutely fucking stunning, I can't even oversell that, Katie Janela from Real Housewives of Orange County.

36:31Katie Janela. Oh my God. I am the... Matt's over there, too. My lovely husband is here. There's Matt. He actually was better at shade than I was. But I will say I'm the artist formerly known as the only Asian on Orange County. Probably the only one there will ever be. Go ahead. I was going to say, Katie, unfortunately, we are going to have you take a lie detector test tonight. Is it a real lie detector though? Not an actor? That was pretty shady. And then they found all the IMDBs of the lie detector people. Actually, I did. Gave it to Jen. And she's, you know, an idiot. But, okay, listen. For my payment for being here, I need you to do an impression of Emily.

37:24Because it's literally the best. What are you talking about? I don't do anything like Emily. You have to wear jeans.

37:36How could you give me a size 8? I've got a taco in my pocket. Do you know what's great? Can I just say? Emily is talking about tacos all the time. And you know the only housewife that has a deal with Taco Bell? Oh, really? You got a Taco Bell deal? You have a taco contract? I'm obsessed with Taco Bell. Oh, the best revenge is served. cheesy. With a brand deal. Congratulations. What's life been like now in the wake of all this madness that happened on your tenure with Orange County? Well, when I was fired, they called and said that I didn't fit in. And aside from Tamara, you're right, I don't because I have taste and my husband likes me.

38:29I have to ask a question. What's so crazy is that when this whole maelstrom started, it was because Tamara started it. And then somehow, though, Tamara's the only one that you end up being friends with. How did that happen? Okay, so when I was, I don't know if you guys watched, but the episode of Heather Dubrow's birthday party, I was outside fighting with Tamara, and I was getting her wrath, right? And I looked at my producer, and I was like, you know what? I can respect her because she keeps the story going. We don't have a housewife without Tamara, to be honest with you. And even today, she texted me today and asked how I was doing.

39:09And I offer her nothing. I'm not on the show. She's actually been very kind to me. Maybe she likes tacos. Maybe she wants my Taco Bell gold card. You're like, I have nothing to offer except tons of free tacos. You have to eat a double-decker taco. Do you really have a gold card? No, I'm putting it out in the universe. I'm manifesting it. Yes, I was getting so jealous. Where's my gold card? Manifest. It's my moment. It's the moment. Would you ever go back if they said, we actually want you to come back or maybe go to Beverly Hills or show up? Would you ever do it? Is the door still open for you to go back to Bravo if they came back to you?

39:48You know, this season, my dear friend Kathleen Martinez was casting and she is an incredible immigration attorney and I would go back if we could go together. Okay, great. Oh, wow. Right on. Oh, and we'd have some attorney versus attorney. She actually turned it down. They called her and gave her the role and she turned it down because she said, I'm never replacing the only woman of color that was fired. Wow. Oh, wow. Right on. So how's it been? Are you are you glad it turned out the way it did in a way? Like, did you how do you feel about it? Because I don't know. Some people some people try that bullshit line.

40:24I'm stepping away. I was really upset at first because it was something that was taken away from me without my choosing and I'm controlling. But now looking back, it was probably best. You know, I feel like I went out on top. My kids are amazing. My husband and I love each other. And the fans have been so nice. So I'm okay. Okay. That's good. Right on. Well, Katie, will you please read the nominees for Biggest Scandal? Oh, I hope I'm in here. Oh, yeah, I am. Okay. Okay, the first one is Adriana and Julia slept together. Real Housewives of Miami. That was a thing. I mean, I record everything, i.e.

41:07Shannon. So where's this? Where's the footage of this? I know, right? Okay. Galena maybe kills chickens, maybe destroys cars, definitely drives off-road, McBee Dynasty. These are all things that happened. She's actually so nice. I met her at Bravicon. She's lovely. Yes. Okay, Georgia doesn't wash her hands. Ew. Next Gen NYC. Ew. Ew. MAGA Gretchen Rossi Social Media. RHOC. Boo. Boo. Boo. Wear a red hat, Gretchen. Wendy and Eddie arrested for fraud. R-H-O-P. I like Wendy. I love Wendy. She's so nice, and she's gorgeous. Even her mugshot is pretty. Yeah. And it's a shame, too, because Wendy actually had probably her best season on the show.

42:07I agree. Even people who didn't love Wendy before are like, I love her. And then you go to jail or whatever. So that sucks. Okay, who would you pick? Well, I want Gretchen Rossi to win. Yeah, she should. She needs to be held accountable for something. Yeah, what do you think? I would do for, honestly, I love Georgia doesn't wash her hands as a scandal. That was my favorite. I love that. I'm going to go for the newbie here because I think Galena is an icon. And the mess that she got into in just one single season, especially like being a Russian-American and coming here with nothing and working as a maiden.

42:47Look at her now. She's the star of my life. She's earned it. So I'm going to go with Galena. The Oscar goes to Wendy and Eddie Arrested for Fraud. Yeah, that was a big one. That's a big one. Katie Janela, thank you so much for coming here. Everyone give it up for Katie Janela. Bye, thank you so much. Bye. Katie Janela from the real housewives of Taco Bell. Love you, Matt. And if you don't believe that Matt is one of the best husbands on the earth, that man is down there doing all of her pictures for her. He even has a light that he like, I mean, that's a good man right there. They don't grow them on trees, that's for sure.

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45:07That's ProlonLife.com slash start.

45:16The scandal category. We have a lot of, I mean, we're just always getting scandals. I mean, we just barely got out of one. Well, that Jill Zarin thing, I mean, wow. That was a big one to happen. Jill Zarin coming out and doing the whole like, Oh my God, that bunny, like, what am I supposed to do? Am I supposed to understand this? Where are the white people? Turn around and look at the room you're in, you dumb ass. But it did make me wonder. I started to think about that show, the golden life that they're going to do. And I had to imagine what it must have been like for Ramona when she got the phone call that she was coming back to television.

45:56Man, I would love to see what it was like when you were imagining it. Maybe you should sing about it, Ben. Maybe I should.

46:19Whoa! I know you wanted me to stay But Bravo said I'm more tone-deaf than Luann's cabaret And I heard that there's a special place Where women support women every single day I'm having wicked dreams of leaving NYC I hear the sunshine stay, it's where I gotta be I'm still hot and ageless, so caduce to me Camera's coming soon, let's grab the Pinot Grigio Whoa, where do I go? I'm an old rony girl Dancing at Mar-a-Lago And I'm just having fun I'm hitting my prime Get ready, it's turtle time At the Old Rony Club I'm gonna keep on dancing At the Old Rony Club I'm gonna keep on dancing Down in West Palm Beach I'm gonna keep on dancing At the Old Rony Club Old Rony Club

47:53Don't think I've left Bravo behind Just because I've moved to E You're always on my mind I've got a lot on my mind, okay? There's a lot of things going on in the world It was the Super Bowl. Jill Zarin got upset. Bad Bunny. I saw a homeless person. He's very scary. He didn't have a job. He had no money. I was like, you know what? I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Get a job. Okay? Do something with your life. Okay? Ben or Ramona, whatever you are. We need to move on.

48:28Let's face it. Jill Zarin went astray. Calm down. Don't take a Xanax, Dorinda's here, okay? Well, Bethany, wow! I'm an old rony girl, but I look younger than Avery now. I'm like a fine wine, like a bed out with time. Mario, get in line. At the old rony club, I'm gonna keep on dancing. At the old rony club, I'm gonna keep on dancing. I'm gonna keep on dancing at the Old Rony Club Old Rony Club One more time!!! Old Rony Club I'm gonna keep on dancing at the Old Rony Club I'm going to keep on dancing Il's Recall down to Old Rony Club West Palm Beach I'm gonna keep on dancing I'm gonna keep on dancing at the Old Rony Club old Rony Club What!?

49:34Sorry. Hi. Sorry.

49:42So yeah, I think that's probably what happened when Romano got that call. E wishes. E fucking wishes. Our next category is Best Villain. Biggest Villain, I guess I should say. And here to serve of the award is one of our favorite, most gorgeous men and very, very talented writer, Mr. Diallo Riddle. Diallo Riddle, everyone. Diallo. Beautiful couture. Beautiful. Diallo. Good, baby. Check, check. Diallo, thank you for writing that wonderful Trader song earlier. Oh, no, thank you. And can I just say, as well, obviously on loan from my friend Bronwyn, can I just say that that song is amazing? Your song is amazing.

50:38I mean, make some noise for the Watch What Happens crew. They are so talented. Thank you. Working with you guys this week, it was like being in theater camp. You guys are so talented. I'm just a big fan of your show. Thank you, Diallo. We love you. Thank you, Diallo. All right, so what are you working on right now? What am I working on? You got some pretty good ones coming down the pike, eh? Like, professionally? Yeah. Oh. Tell us. What was your inspiration? Around your house. How did you get into writing? I was like, my wife and I have a babysitter tonight, so I'm going crazy. Yeah, boy. A lot of booze backstage.

51:12A lot of booze out there, apparently. And, you know, I got to present Best Villain. Best Villain. Yeah, we're in the final stretch here. We're in the big categories. Yes. And we thought, like, especially because the character you play on Sherman Showcase, where you've got that amazing iPad. I mean, you have to present villain. The best villain I have coming up is I'm on the Amazon series Barbershop produced by Kevin Hart. And I will say this. I play a prosperity preacher. Oh, okay. And that has been a lot of fun. I was trying to point to Amanda Francis. Like Amanda Francis. It's like the barbershop version of Amanda Francis is your character.

51:51I love it. Bring in a little Beverly Hills. Well, congratulations. Thank you so much. I'm so excited. This is such a fun category. I think, like, you know, let's get into it. Yeah, let's get into it. Let's get into Biggest Villain. Biggest Villain. That's a really strong category this year. Well, first of all, let me tell you. I'm so sorry. Yes. I have to say, Janet from the Valley. Let's talk about it. Let's talk about it. She got super pissed. Yes. Because she is included with a bunch of abusive men. Okay. I actually will give Janet this one. We'll give her the credit for that. Because that is pretty shitty.

52:31But the way that it worked out, we just named a ton of shitty people. And America picked the abusive men and Janet. But maybe next year we'll separate out the villains versus the pieces of shit. We shouldn't have to have an abusive piece of shit category. But we probably need one after this year. So, anyway. Sorry, Janet. Let's get into it. These are the nominees for Biggest Villain. First up, we have Aaron from Denise Richards and Her Wild Things. Boo. Right off the bat. Boo. Boo. Yeah, he sucks. By the way, how great did Denise look on that recent episode of Beverly Hills? She looked great, didn't she?

53:22Absolutely. Absolutely. Oh, here comes a good one. Next up, we've got Colton from The Traitors.

53:33Strategic gameplay hits different when we know what we know. Yeah. When we know what we know. Yeah. We were trying to get a really good image of him with the pearls, but you know what? I know. Let's not. Oh, those pearls. Can I just say, though, that whole thing where Michael Rappaport was using C adjectives? conniving, commiserating, Colton. It was just like, commiserating is not a bad thing, bro. Conundrum. Cubic. He was like, custodial, congenial. It's like Michael. Creative. That doesn't really work. Contrabulational. How does Bromwell live like this? I know. You know what? Fashion is pain.

54:19When God closes a Todd door, he opens a Rihanna window. That's right. All right. I love that. Janet Caperna, The Valley. Janet. My sister calls her the self-appointed hall monitor of adulthood. Yeah. And I love that. I love that. Uh-oh. This is one. Jax Taylor, The Valley. An evergreen nominee Yeah Jax has been in this category Every single year he's been on television He looks high there He looks like He looks like When personal growth is optional You give drugs A bad name So what's your pick for best Not best We got one more. There's one more. We got one more. We got one more. We got the front door of Summer House.

55:31All right, so who's your vote? This is a tough one. I mean, obviously, Aaron is the real villain. There's almost nothing funny about him.

55:45The front door. You know, I'm going to think it's Colton. You think it's Colton? No, not because he is the biggest. I mean, like, look, the biggest villain is Aaron. But, you know, I come from a traitors family. We're traitors together. And it's like, he was like the villain in terms of, like, storyline villain as opposed to, like, too real. It's, like, almost uncomfortable villain. Right? Right. Sort of? Yeah, because then in a way you're kind of awarding, like, an abuser. Yes. It's weird. It's a weird position we put ourselves in tonight. I'm just going to put my money on the front door and be done with it.

56:22I agree. Front door. We vote for the front door. I'm going to go with Jax because I feel like Jax is the biggest asshole, but it's also been – he's a person that we've been waiting to see go down for years. Yeah. I mean, Jax has gone down many times. Yeah, but this was good. All right. Well, there are a million envelopes up here, so I don't know. We're a very organized award show. There's a lot going on here. Here we go. And the award for biggest villain goes to Jax Taylor. Jax Taylor, everyone. The biggest villain of 2025. Congratulations, you fucking losers. Thank you, Yellow Riddle. We love you.

57:05I will accept it in his dishonor. Thank you so much. Thank you for having me. The Yellow Riddle, ladies and gentlemen.

57:19Bitch stole my look Yes Double Bronwyn Katie looking good

57:30Katie Cazorla and Walter the Crabbers ladies and gentlemen you guys are killing it What's Zach going crazy about? Zach needs his award He's like give me that damn award Yes Zachary Zachary has stolen an award this year. Give Zachary your email address. Alright. Appropriately, it's time for our fifth of six. Best Bravo Show nominees. The Valley. The Valley. The Valley. Jax, you need to go to rehab. I can't have our baby turning out like you. He wishes. He doesn't even have any Instagram followers. Get out of my house, Jax. Why do I have to go to rehab? Danny's the alcoholic. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

58:23Whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm not an alcoholic. I'm a dad. I've got three under three. You're drunk, Danny. You grabbed our friend's butt and you told her, get daddy a drink. Hey, that's not alcoholism. That's sexism. Give me a little credit. Stop being mean to Danny, Janet. I'm not mean. I'm fun. I had my birthday party at Dave and Buster's. Hey, Instagram. It's me, Jax. Welcome to JaxCam. I'm in rehab and I need my son you guys hold on hold on a second I got a call on the other line hold on Jax what are you doing on Jax cam you're supposed to be in rehab I am in rehab then why is there techno music playing and what's on your nose it's rehab powder you guys let's have a party to celebrate Bungie wait hold on I'm getting a call what do you want hey where's my invite Jax, what are you doing on JaxCamp?

59:23You're supposed to be in rehab. I am in rehab. There's literally a stripper sliding down a pole behind you, Jax. So, strippers can be sober now also, right? This is my show. It hasn't been for the last three months.

59:40Boom, mic drop, bitch. Hey, hey, Kristen, look over there. It's a dolphin. It's a dolphin. Dolphin! Dolphin! It's your mommy. Cuck-a-cuck. Kristen, will you marry me and live in Colorado with no running water or internet? Oh my god. Wait, hold on, I have a call. Jax. Am I coming to the wedding? How did you hear about my wedding, Jax? You're supposed to be in rehab. I am in rehab. Then why are you riding a dolphin? Hey, get off of my dolphin! Me, brother!

1:00:20And soon.

1:00:25The Valley. The Valley, ladies and gentlemen. The Valley. Okay, and next up to present non-Housewives show, it's Ryan Bailey. Ryan Bailey, get your booty out here. We can't buy your clients. Money can't buy your clients. So good it's bad with Ryan Bailey. and also soon to be a dad soon to be a dad are you so excited also I just asked Jason and Chris if they had their penis pump with them it would be great to bring also it is so dark to watch you talk about Jax and it's like the ghost of Christmas future for those guys I know it was weird talking about Jax I gotta say so you have a baby coming on the way yeah four weeks away we are due It'll be our baby's first summer of coral SoC Are you going to name your child A Bravo, like after a Bravo Liberty?

1:01:28Yeah, what is it? Sheena Marie Parks Valetta Sheena Marie Amber Parks Valetta Jr. No, her name's going to be Romy Non-Bravo Romy, well it's close It's Miami, Real Housewives of Miami I gotta go You didn't even realize you did it As Miami leaves, Romy will take the scene. She's going to come out and be like, work on your wrinkled, you old whore. My dad was always so weird. He would never let me be on a reality show. Yeah, exactly. Well, I think Romy's actually a really cute name. That is a cute name. And we wish nothing but the best for you and Romy. Now you have to have a little Michelle. Yeah.

1:02:08Actually, and I know, by the way, I know everybody said this, but I went to the first crappy awards, like for me, right before the pandemic. and I'd never seen anything like it where I was like, this is like a WWE wrestling match where I thought the audience, I was like, people are like tearing their chairs up. So amazing, you guys. So much fun. And Ronnie played a guitar. I met your parents tonight. Yeah, that's right. You got the whole thing. AJ? Yeah, look how formal we all are, by the way. We're all sitting here in our formal wear. Normally when we meet up, we're all just sort of like schlubby, you know, and here we're like.

1:02:43I'm still schlubby, yes. No, you're not schlubby. Where did you get your suit? Actually, at the fashion district. Oh, nice. Yes. That's good. This was like a BravoCon suit, and I've already gained weight from BravoCon. Me too. Because we've been eating ice cream every night. Good for you. So I could barely fit into this. Well, we got us on our Amazon Live. Thank you. This is our little Amazon Live purchase here. All right. Let's do best non-Housewives show. Ryan Bailey. What do we got? We're going to start here. You're reading it. Yeah, it's all you. Next Gen NYC.

1:03:24Southern Hospitality. That's a good one. Oh, here we go. Summerhouse.

1:03:33The Traitors. Doing well. Four Under Four, The Valley. Yes, he is four under four now. All right, what's your choice? Okay, I got to go Summer House. For some reason, I love that show so much, even though it's in deep misery with Kyle and Amanda. Yeah. But, like, they could just, I could watch them make chicken salad, and I would just be in love. I love it so much. That is literally what you're watching. So that's good. You are watching chicken salad. Carl's in the mix. He's in the mix. He's in the mix, guys. He's staying down downstairs. Carl's in the mix. You might see me a little more. I'm in the mix now.

1:04:13Aww. A soft mix. So, Ronnie, what... I actually think that for my pick, this is a really strong category. I mean, it's really hard because the traders just ended last night. We're all in traders mode. But if I have to realistically think about the whole year, I'm actually going to say the Valley was my favorite non-Bravo show. And I'm not saying that because we have Valley people here. It was, I think, an amazing season. It was. Are you nervous about season three? I'm always nervous about new seasons. Yeah. Yeah, I'm nervous. And not because of non-Jax. I don't know why. I don't know why I'm nervous.

1:04:46Are you ready to have Britney date on camera? I'm so excited to see a new chapter for Britney. I'm ready for a different, like, I'm ready for, like, tears over a different guy. All right. Let us, let's find out the best non-Housewife show. What do you guys all think it's going to be?

1:05:07Follow me down into the dead of night. where all the flowers bloom. The Traders! The Traders! I mean, it's amazing. It's an amazing show. Thank you so much, Ryan Bailey. Ryan Bailey, we love you, buddy. All right, Ryan Bailey. All right, we're getting into one of our big... We're getting into the real big categories now. We only have a few left. Yes, everybody. We know you're so patient out there. We love you so much. You guys are really patient. Okay, next up to present best Bravo moment, our favorite two judgy girls, Courtney and Mary. Two judgy girls, everyone.

1:06:06Here you go. Just grab whichever. Oh, let me grab a chair. Here, take one. Take a chair. We'll get another one.

1:06:16Ronnie's getting the other chair in the meantime. Hi, guys. Welcome to the crappies. If you guys are not subscribed to Two Judgy Girls, you should be, because they are fabulous. How is it going for you tonight? Um, what a blast. What a blast. I'm having the best time. Well, thank you so much for joining us. We had so much fun with you at BravoCon. Literally a dream. What was your favorite part of BravoCon, by the way? Can we talk about Day Zero? Day Zero was probably the craziest night that we've ever had. Literally no expectations met all these Bravo lebs. I was like, I could go home now. I couldn't, but I could.

1:06:54Yeah. Was there a Bravo celebrity that really stood out to you that you met? Joe Gorga. He double dutched for us without the ropes. He was my everything. thing. He's like, you gotta talk to your family. It's about the family. Just adore him. Can I say something? Last weekend, we went down to Miami. Some of you guys may have heard this, but we went down to Miami, and I was just sitting there on a lounger, and who walks by are Joe and Melissa Gorga. Was Backgrid following them? What'd you say? Backgrid, the paparazzi? Oh, yeah. Yes. Seemingly, they're always having Backgrid follow them in Miami specifically.

1:07:36So I felt very lucky. And then the next day, we just ran into on the street, Lisa Hoxstein. So that felt very special. That was like BravoCon for us last weekend. Wow. Where are the photos? Because I heard they're on her phone. Lisa Hoxstein took, we took a selfie with Lisa Hoxstein. It's on her phone. We messaged her. Hey, so we're running into you. Could you send us the photo? And she goes, yes, loves. And that was it. So that's all we got. How did this happen with somebody else? And the same thing happened at BravoCon. She came up and she's like, oh, my God. Why do you do my voice like that?

1:08:09And I was like, I don't know. And she's like, let's take a picture. Let's take a picture. Never sent it to me. I mean, what the hell? Her face tune wasn't working that day. I guess. Her face actually looks face tuned in real life. Like, I don't think she uses a filter. That's like Mora. Yeah. Mora. Mora. Let's get into most memorable moments, shall we? Most memorable moment, ladies. Take it away, would you? All right, let's do this. Adriana accuses Julia of sleeping with a Haitian mortician. It's of Miami. Jax gets fired, goes to fake rehab, gets fired again. The Valley. Paige dumps Craig Summerhouse.

1:08:58The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City slash Below Deck Down Under Crossover. Sandoval sings doll songs over the phone. The Traders. That was ad-libbed.

1:09:19And finally, Zach stands up to Jax at Benji's party, The Valley. All right. Who do you guys want? Who do I want? I think I want Paige Dump's Craig because why, Mary? Craig is what? The biggest gaslighter on Bravo TV. Yes. I've said it for weeks now. Yeah. I like the Sandoval Sings doll songs over the phone. Can you please repeat that again? That was pretty good. Yeah. All right, let's see who the people voted for for most memorable moments. And the winner is Adriana accuses Julia of sleeping with a Haitian mortician donating coffee maker. Oh, wow. Adriana is killing it today. Big day for the Miami girls.

1:10:16Where's the sponsorship? Seriously. I know, right? Where's Nespresso? Where is Mr. Coffee? Or funeral homes. Pedro, where are you? She's got it all. Courtney and Mary, we love you guys. Thank you for being here. Yes, we love you guys. We love you.

1:10:42Ziggy. Celebrate good times. Come on. It's up to you. No, he is. All right, let's please welcome Jake back to the piano. All right, you guys. We're very close to the end of the show, but before we close out the show, you know, we would like to take a moment to reflect on those who are no longer on Bravo. And, you know, whenever we do this, we'd like to have something really special sung because there's been a lot of loss this year. So today we have the beautiful Jennifer Tilly, everyone. Thank you. Thank you so much.

1:11:53Oh, it must have been cold there in my shadow to never have the light on your face. You were content to let me shine for so long. A beautiful smile to hide the pain Did you ever know that you're my hero? You're everything I wish I could be And I could fly higher than an eagle Because you, you are the wind beneath my wings.

1:12:59In the memoir I am. Mia. Bryn. Raquel. JT. Gabby. Britt, Will, Austin, Jacqueline, Becky Minkoff, Sweet T, Ryan, Taylor, Imral, Bailey, Lexi, All these below deck people TJ Gretcher's Jill Zarin Nicki Minaj hosting reunions Jax Jax's bar Below Deck sailing yacht Roni Reboot Denise's lizard Masha's chickens Ooni Emily's stylist George and Omar Michelle and Aaron Ariana and Hudson Quad and King Sienna and Shep Ralph and the upstairs Joel and Shannon Lisa and Jody MJ and Tommy Bronwyn and Todd Katie Janela Uba Hassan Jenna Lyons Jen Aiden Avi Paige Tassorbo

1:14:48Garcelle Beauvais Kai Manda

1:14:58Candy and Todd

1:15:07Fly, fly, fly away. You let me fly so high. Thank you. Thank you too. Thank God for you. The wind's beneath my wings.

1:15:33Miss Jennifer Tilly. Thank you. Thank you.

1:15:40But in all seriousness, we didn't want to add this into a jokey thing, but obviously we're heartbroken about Robert Cosby Jr. So sending all of our love to you, Mary Cosby. Mary Cosby. Let's send it all from this room to Mary Cosby. Rest in peace, sweet Robert. Oh my gosh. Jennifer Tilly, though. seriously what a get and also what a babe all right it's our second biggest category of the night and we had to bring someone who's been at every crappies in some form or another for the past several years please welcome to the stage the host of love island usa ariana maddox

1:16:52What gentleman? Cariana!

1:16:59Hi. Yes. Hi. An icon. Hi, guys. We love you. So, life has changed quite a bit since the last time you were here, ma 'am. How are you? Do you remember that time we had the crappies in the most torrential downpour? Yes. I will never forget that. What a time that was. They called it the L.A. Blizzard, and there were literally cars floating down the street. Yes. Remember we walked outside, there were like cars going down the street. Yeah. It was also three days before. And Scandal happened like three days later. Yeah. So it was a great luck year all the way around. So good to see you. You're killing it.

1:17:37Thank you. You guys, putting me at the end of the show has given me so much time at the open bar tab upstairs. Good for you. So it's been quite fun. Ariana, we feel like we are your aunts. And we've watched you grow up through the years. And I actually think it's so amazing that you host Love Island now. Thank you. That you went from fan to host. And on top of that, you're like a good host. Thank you so much. Yeah. It's the most fun job ever. Yeah. Yeah. And you're back. And you've been here for a couple of months now. You've actually had a break because you were doing one after the other, right?

1:18:20You were doing Love Island at the Games. Yeah, then Games. And Games was insane. I was there every single day hosting challenges. And challenges, when you watch the show, it looks like it happened in maybe like two hours. No, that's just like 12 hours sometimes. And I'm like, they're in – I mean, granted, they're covered in slime and making out with everybody. But I'm like, I'm in fucking heels, yo, for like 12 hours. And sometimes I get a little bit of slime too. Like it's intense. Do they still have you do the full dress and glamour shots where you're walking really slowly? And it's like, here comes Arianne.

1:19:00And you're like, really slow. It takes 10 minutes to walk. And do they still do that on games? Yes, of course. Oh, I love that. I mean, we couldn't not do it, right? Yeah, you have to do it. I love it. When you say how the challenges take 12 hours, the reason why I know that is because there was that one challenge, I think it was last year maybe, where Paige DeSorbo was a guest. And I was like, your guest, Paige DeSorbo. And she asked three questions. Like, what would you, what's like the funnest thing you would do with your partner? And she asked like three questions. And then all of a sudden I was like, Paige DeSolbo had to leave.

1:19:31I was like, oh, they were shooting this for eight hours. And Paige is like, I've got to go. I feel so bad because the area where we do all the challenges is up on a hill. So it's like wildly hotter than down in the villa. And then she had to do like lumberjack theme. So she was in suede. so like everything was just working against her in that moment to give her just a full blown heat stroke was it surreal the first time you got into the villa and you were like wow somehow I went from being a fan and now I'm like somehow in charge of this oh yeah absolutely I did a couple of guest hosts during season 5 and when I first walked into the villa I was like oh it's fucking it's real and they kind of just, I mean, they set you up for success, but it's, there's nothing that can prepare you for it because you can't do a dress rehearsal because the Islanders are living in there and there's cameras everywhere.

1:20:31So it's a little bit of, you know, here's a bit of the script. Here's a bit, a bit of what, a bit of what you're doing. Okay. Now go walk down this hallway. Yeah. Yeah. I was like, I was terrified. And those wood decks are not even, I know. And they put you in like serious heels. Yeah, I have to like, it's like, you know that meme of Rihanna and the heel is just almost going through the New York City's great? It's that every single time. Every time. It's harrowing. Well, we have loved you for a long time and thank you so much for being here. Oh my god, I love you guys. Thank you for supporting us.

1:21:09I love you guys so fucking much. This is, I know it's award season in LA. this is the award show that fucking matters. This is the one. How many times has she done this though? I know, honestly, if you've not been able to come, you've always sent in a video. We've loved watching your star rise over the past few years. Every time. It's amazing. Every time, whether it's in New York or wherever, we are so proud of you. I love you guys. We still have to do our Hot Honey Rag musical number one of these days. Oh, hell yeah. I know, we were supposed to do it last year and you were busy. Look out, guys.

1:21:44We'll figure it out. Okay, let's read them off. All right, let's get down to business. Bravo Liberty of the Year. Oh, there it is. Okay. Gabby Windy, the Traitors. I love Gabby. I love her. Gabby's great. She's so funny. Okay, Jennifer Tilly, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. She's very popular. Okay, I think my personal favorite. Kristen Doty the Valley. Seriously? Seriously? We love her. We love Doty. Paige DeSorbo, Summerhouse.

1:22:27Rob Roush, The Traitors. Love Island, USA. No. Is that? Rush. Rob Roush. No. Isn't it Rob Roush? No, no. This one's Rush. Stacey Rush. Rush. Oh, Stacey. Real Housewives of Potomac. And Zach Wickham, The Valley. Wow. Bravo, Liberty of the Year. Who are you going to pick? Who am I going to pick? Listen, my close personal friend, Kristen Doty. I can't not pick Kristen. Yeah, Kristen had a good one. Okay, go ahead. Bravo, Liberty of the Year. I better hear a drum roll. I want to hear a drum roll. Drum roll, Jake. Great. I think Ariana should get it again. Yeah, Ariana wins. Wow! Stacey Rush, Real Housewives of Potomac!

1:23:20Amazing! Congratulations, Stacey Rush. Thank you very much, Ariana Maddox. Give it up for Ariana Maddox. I'm going to trip over my skirt. Thank you. Thank you. I know. They're close to living. Yes. Oh, they will be spray-painted again, my friend. I just got lucky on Timu recently. All right. And now for our final nomination for the best show of the year, Real Housewives of Salt Lake City. Welcome aboard, Motor Yacht Katina. We hope to make you wet. Oh, you've already made me wet, Captain Jason. You had sex with Captain Jason? Not sex. We made love. Uh, we didn't, though. To a buffet. We love eating as friends.

1:24:17I want to go to your buffet, Captain. The buffet is closed. Um, mm-hmm. Sorry, I'm late to the cast trip. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Uh, Captain, we have a problem. A pool floatie is talking. That's not a pool floatie. That's a lady. She's just wearing a pool floatie. You exploited the pool floatie. Uh-huh, uh-huh. It's called fashion, and someone has been leaking stories about me being a felon. I didn't leak anything. Why is everybody always blaming me for stuff? So I'm friends with news corporations. I'm not allowed to talk to my friends anymore. If there's any criminal here, it's you, Lisa Barlow. You have lawsuits against you.

1:25:03Case dismissed. Case dismissed. Scout dick sucker. Lisa, you think you're better than everyone else here Yeah, but so does Blake Lively So, you know what? Take it up with Blake Lively then Do you need her number? I have it I have it if you need it Wait, wait, Meredith got wasted and attacked Brittany on an airplane How dare you? You are this We all saw it, Meredith, the entire sisterhood You stabbed Brittany in the face on the plane. I was watching Crazy Rich Asians. It couldn't have been me. I am Greek. You started her on fire on the airplane. We all saw... Yeah, she was. I watched it with her.

1:25:50Kaisis must. Kaisis must. Oh, yeah, you watched Crazy Rich Asians? Then how did it end, Meredith? Well, the crazy one told the Asian one to stop talking about my husband. That was Rambo. Fine, well, the Asian one told the rich one that Britney is disgusting. That's E.T. Okay, I'll give you a hint, Meredith. The captain fell in love with the Latter-day Saints tell-all celebrities. That did not happen. He fell in love with her book, Out Now. Ding, ding, ding. I'm upset, too. What about me? Shut up, Britney. And see. Real Housewives of Salt Lake City. Well, everyone. Did they quit? They didn't break.

1:26:48Get back up here, Katie. Get back up here. What are you, in a union now? You don't get a break? Get your ass back up here. Okay. and now for the final category of the night being presented by us so take that alright guys this is a big one you have been the most patient crowd of all time we love you alright let's get her done best Bravo show of the year married to medicine daddy next gen New York City Real Housewives of Miami Real Housewives of Salt Lake City Summerhouse, alright, Summerhouse And the Valley Alright, and the winner is Oh, I can't

1:27:49The winner The winner is The winner of Best Bravo Show of the Year is... Real Housewives of Salt Lake City!

1:28:09All right, everybody. Thank you so much for being here. It's been an amazing year. We look forward to seeing you in 2027. Thank you, Walter and Katie, the beautiful Jake, all of our guests, and everybody here helping us out tonight, these gorgeous eyebrow twins. It's Chris and Jason. Come check them out, boys. Come on up here, guys. Thank you to Hobby Lobby. Thank you to Hobby Lobby. All right, Katie, close us out. Thank you guys for coming. And thank you all for coming to Watch What Happens, the Golden Crabbies. Good night, everyone.

1:28:55Who cares what happens when there's so much that happens? Thank you Hobby Lobby for my heaven Who cares what happens when there's so much that happens?

1:29:10Crappings

1:29:14Crappings

1:29:18Crappings

1:29:22Watch what crap is Watch what crap is Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap is Watch what crap is Watch what crap is Who cares when Ben is wearing that jacket Watch what crap is Watch what crap is Thank you for coming out tonight I hope you enjoy the show.

1:30:17Chrissy Alford. She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniela. Itchols. We never miss her call, it's Diane Call. Sunday in the Park with Dylan Clark. Big yay, it's Emily Gauthier. Aaron McNicholas, she don't miss no trick-a-less. Hava Nagila Weber. You'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones. I go, you go, we all go for Hugo. Jamie, she has no less namey. Sips some scotch with Jessica Trotch. She's not a McBee. She's a McBride. Jess McBride. She's our favorite streamer, Caroline Peacock. Kristen the Piston Anderson. Get a bee in your bonnet with Lacey B. Que sera, sera, whatever will be will Lauren Sills be.

1:30:58She gets an A from us. It's Lindsay D. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McHenry. Aren't you glad it's Marianne Arns? Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the Berg. This is Livin' with Michelle Vivian. I love-a-ya, Olivia Williamson. She sure is swell. It's Raquel. Yes, we canna. It's Sadana. Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman. Let's share with Sharon Eldridge. Darn Skippy, it's Tibby. And our super premium sponsors. She's VVIP, it's Amanda V. Can I have a Kavanaugh? It's Anna Kavanaugh. Somebody get us 10 cc's of Betsy MD. We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva.

1:31:40Let's get real with Caitlin O 'Neill Put us on a stretcher, it's Charlotte Fletcher Hogle your horses, it's Christine Hogle Don't get salty with Christine Pepper Can't have a meal without the Emily Sides Who, what, why, where, and Gwen Pentland Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall We got our wish, it's Jen Plish My favorite Murdo, Karen McMurdo She's a total knockout, it's Katie Manok Let's get savage with Laura Wildman In the study with a candlestick, it's Leslie Peacock. We're ride or die for Lisa Ryder Barron. She's a whiz, it's Liz Sarthy. Always killing it, it's Lola Alkalani. Roger that, it's Marlis Rogers.

1:32:21The incredible edible Matthews sisters. She eases our woes, it's Melissa St. Rose. There's a chance of meatballs, it's Rebecca Cloud. She's our princess, it's Rebecca Prince. Maximum love for Sandy Maximoska. She's the queen bee, it's Sarah Lemke. We cannot tell a lie. It's Sarah Talafson. Shannon out of a can in Anthony. Please don't stop. It's Soli and Pop. Let's take off with Tam LaPlane. Strike a pose. It's Tori Rose. She ain't no shrinking Violet Kuchar. We love you guys.

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