#3298 RHOA S17E01: It’s Not Right But It’s O-K Michelle

0:27We'll see you next time. I sold my car in Carvana last night. Well, that's cool. No, you don't understand. It went perfectly. Real offer, down to the penny. They're picking it up tomorrow. Nothing went wrong. So, what's the problem? That is the problem. Nothing in my life goes to smoothie. I'm waiting for the catch. Maybe there's no catch. That's exactly what a catch would want me to think. Wow, you need to relax. I need to knock on wood. Do we have wood? Is this table wood? I think it's laminate. Okay, yeah, that's good. That's close enough. Car selling without a catch. Sell your car today on Carvana.

0:59Pick up these may apply.

1:23Ben Mandelker: A podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today is the wonderful and charming Ronnie Karam.

1:34Ronnie Karam: Of course I say, our Karam.

1:36Ben Mandelker: How are you? Good. What's going on with you? Nothing much. Just had a lovely weekend. Hope everyone had a great weekend. And if you were celebrating Easter, Passover or anything else, hope you had a great time. Very exciting times around here because it's a new season of Atlanta. So we're going to be diving into that recap shortly before we get into that. Just the usual things to remind you of, which is that our Patreon is a wonderful world of joy. It really does. It's, you know, talk about Easter eggs. They're all over Patreon, except they're not hidden. They're all the goodies are out there on the table for you to see.

2:12Ben Mandelker: They're like the Cadbury cream eggs in the store aisle, tempting you every time you walk by. We got bonus episodes, a free newsletter to all and video crap is on demand. And we have a Patreon community. And we also have ad-free listening. So go to www.patreon.com slash watch what crap happens. Excuse me. I just burped up my mouth. And sign up and have a great time with it. Okay?

2:38Ronnie Karam: I like that you had the www there. I know. I was like, that was old school. It's a throwback. H-T-T-B colon. Forward slash.

2:46Ben Mandelker: Forward slash. Want to make sure you get the right internet superhighway address. address. So that's that. I don't think there's anything else really to shout out at the top of this episode. Oh, of course, there's actually two big things to shout out, which is that we're doing Amazon Live this afternoon, which we always have a fun time with. And then tonight, hello, I should have led with this. I'm so silly. Crappy hour. I think this is going to be a crappy hour, right? 5.30 PM West Coast time, 8.30 East Coast time, because we are in the middle of a Bravo scandal and we have not had a crappy hour since it broke.

3:22Ben Mandelker: So we will be catching up on the latest, you know, West and Amanda headlines and whatever else is happening on Bravo. Cause there's plenty more happening, but come join us. And also don't forget you do get to come out on the stage and chat with us at the end. So we want people to come and chat with us and love to hear your opinions on this very pressing news cycle. So that is it. and Ronnie what did you think about the Atlanta premiere loved it I spent all more all morning

3:53Ronnie Karam: listening to Kay Michelle oh great because I didn't know a lot of her music she's great I should oh my gosh so I saw Kay Michelle on Sherry Shepard and um she was with um a couple of other ladies from the show and she was really giving it to Drew she's really being shady with to Drew Sedora about, because I guess they're trying, I guess Drew's trying to compete with her in her music career or whatever. That's crazy. Girl, just stop it, Drew. Just, you are barking up the wrong tree, ma 'am. This woman is amazing. I listened to like, probably like three of her, well, you know, I put it on Apple Music.

4:31Ronnie Karam: So I just said, play Kay Michelle. And so I heard her new country music. That's like, anybody want a broken heart? Or something like that. Hey, anybody need a broken heart? Something like that. And it was really good. And then it just started playing through her albums. She's great. Drew, you just need to, sometimes you just need to have a, have a nice sit down and, and breathe deeply before you say anything, because there's no competition here, ma 'am.

4:54Ben Mandelker: That's not really what Drew does. You know, I, I've heard of K-Michelle for all these years. But, you know, I am very much in, kind of like got blinders on purely for Bravo. so I'm not like I've dabbled in other ecosystems, drag race. Like I've barely even, I really haven't even touched 90 day fiance bachelor. We have all these different categories and the VH one worlds of like love and hip hop, et cetera. She obviously has been a big personality in that. So I've always heard of her, but I haven't really experienced her. And so then after watching the show, when drew was like, um, K Michelle, she's a singer, I think, or used to be.

5:34Ben Mandelker: And so I looked up the Wikipedia pages, K. Michelle's Wikipedia page of her music is like extensive. It's like, here's the discography, single, single, single, single, whatever. This album debuted at number two on the Billboard Hot 200, like the overall charts. And this one also at number two. And then I went over to look at Drew's Wikipedia page. And she has like a very robust TV and film critics thing, film, not critics, you know, credits. It's when you look at Drew's discography, it's not even the disc. It's a paragraph. It's like a little paragraph. That's like Drew released a song three years ago.

6:14Ben Mandelker: And also she released a song last year with Dennis. She's done some other like little things. Oh my God. Yes. The fact that you are like, here is someone who is like famous enough that she is penetrating the mindset of people who are not watching her shows necessarily, or even listening to her music. Like, and she has all these credits and Drew is just going to try to be like, I haven't even heard of her. Drew, come on. Yeah. She's like, what?

6:41Ronnie Karam: She used to be a singer, right? Oh, yeah, Drew. Like insinuating she's a has-been. Girl, this lady has like 8 million followers on Instagram. Drew has almost 800 ,000, you know, which is still good. It's not even the point isn't here to like to diss Drew. Like start your dream. That's great that you're doing your dream. It's not even that. It's just like, she's the one suggesting that someone else is a has-been.

7:06Ben Mandelker: And babe. Drew, this lady was brought in to save your show. You were not brought in to save her show. She was brought in to help you out. Because your show has not found its footing yet. Although, I actually really enjoyed last season. But that being said, like...

7:22Ronnie Karam: Last season was an improvement, for sure.

7:24Ben Mandelker: It was. It was. But, like, it's just so funny that Drew's like, hmm? I'm not familiar. No idea.

7:31Ronnie Karam: nope can we can we start wearing name tags around here i love that k michelle came in already exhausted i thought that was very funny that she's like oh my god these bitches she's already like these bitches are tiring you know last time i was around a group of women which i'm assuming is one of the love and hip-hop she's like they tore me down and they dated my ex and they did all this stuff to me and they're i'm like wow you're already prepared and you're already exhausted that you have to be back on one of these reality shows she's like oh fuck this the minute they start fighting she's like i'm gonna be hanging out with the men and i'm not coming in dress code by the way either to your party like i'm already sick of you people yeah and there was something

8:07Ben Mandelker: about her and like she sort of i i felt like i could see what she would look like when she's like 75 or 80 years old there was something about her in a way that i really liked i'm not saying that she looked old she didn't look old at all but like there was something about her mannerisms where i'm like i could see her sort of like showing up in a kitchen and telling people how to like cook something you know like and i kind of really enjoyed that like i got like some sophia petrillo energy from her i can't explain how i got that energy it's like in a weird way i can't describe it but i was like i can sort of see her as a little old lady at one point and i like that

8:40Ronnie Karam: that's sort of endure i'll tell you this she'll never be little she'll be she'll be like when she's older her boobs will still be up to her chin they will be you know those things will those boobs the atlanta boobs are something else and also the rhode island boobs are something else Atlanta and Rhode Island boobs are completely in their own space. Like, what are they even doing over there? And they're great, but they're like anime style. They're just like, make them big and make them as crazy as possible. Like, okay.

9:11Ben Mandelker: I know there's one person out there who's really excited about those boobs, and his last name rhymes with Goulome. But, like, for sure, like, those boobs are big. With Goulome? Who is it? She knows him's husband. You have to explain the joke.

9:27Ronnie Karam: Oh, oh, oh, oh, yeah, yeah.

9:28Ben Mandelker: You have to explain the joke.

9:29Ronnie Karam: It's not like a joke in the first place. I just assumed you were going with Andy Cohen. Cause it's going to be like, tell me about your boobs. Katie, Joe, we were, well, we were so happy to welcome your boobs onto this season. Let's talk about where'd you get them? How much were they? When are you getting new ones?

9:45Ben Mandelker: I, I liked K. Michelle right away. I think she's going to have a good energy for this show. And, well, it's, it's funny. They brought in K. Michelle. They also brought in, um pinky pinky cole is that her last name cole yes who they both are both they're both two media trained personalities they're like we need we want to get people in here who like know what they're doing in front of the camera so they came in like right away they were very comfortable on camera which is good my you know my concern that i have with this premiere is that some of the newbies from last year were like i don't know what was going on i felt like they were working extra hard to be liked by America.

10:24Ben Mandelker: I felt like Kelly and Shamia were like, what was going on with them? What was this, you know, you often say the community theater, you know, vibe is happening on some of these shows. To me, they were doing big time community theater. They're being like freshmen in the ensemble, you know, of the high school musical, just trying to be like big and like endear themselves to the director or maybe even to the seniors who have the leads or whatever. But like, I was like, they were so over the top, but especially Kelly. I thought Kelly was so annoying this episode.

10:56Ronnie Karam: Oh my God. Kelly's always so annoying. It's just always so like, are you on a roller coaster? What is going on with you? It's like, you're just saying hello. It's like someone just walked in and said,

11:19Ronnie Karam: like calm yourself. It's not that exciting.

11:22Ben Mandelker: these theater kids and like and Shamia like I historically have always really enjoyed Shamia and I even I liked her last year uh but wow right off the gate Shamia lost me halfway through last

11:34Ronnie Karam: year Shamia lost me halfway through last year and I don't know I think the only newbie they should have kept was um Angela uh Angela I think they should have brought on two noobs yeah well I love her extra because it's just it's funny to me you know her like well you know i'm you know her pi thing and like looking at everybody's stuff and then her like jumping on housewife storylines like you're a mob leader or you know now trying to convince us that she's so her husband is so in love with her i think that is the most i think that's the funniest like running gag that she's trying to always convince us that charles likes her and uh so she's funny to me and i believe that She's real.

12:15Ronnie Karam: I believe that Shamia and Kelly are faking it. They're trying to fake something and they're trying to find some kind of character that's going to work. And Shamia, you've been here a long time. I mean, last season was her first main season, but she's been here long enough that she's like had a try. She's had a good go of it. It doesn't work. And Kelly is just, she hasn't relaxed into her role at all. So I say that we probably don't need those two.

12:40Ben Mandelker: But I kind of feel the same way. I think that Angela's great. When I said that she's being extra, I don't mean that she's being annoying or anything, but I just noticed that she had slightly more energy than she normally does, which is because she normally has very low energy. And she's normally like, I'm Angela. And this time she was like, she did some little dance. She had some moment where I was like, Angela doesn't normally do that. She's showing more energy than normal. But I have no notes for Angela. That was just a mere observation. But I do think that with Shamia and Kelly, especially Shamia, I got the sense that she was paying attention to the feedback that she was getting from the audience.

13:16Ben Mandelker: Cause I think the audience was largely aligned with you, Ronnie. And I think she's trying to be like funny and likable. And like, she knows she's now in a feud with Portia. So she's trying to be the one that the audience likes. And like when she did that, like extended bit where she was like, this is, let me pantomime what the text message was. And I was like, and it went on for so long. And I was like, let me pantomime me fast forwarding, except I'm not pantomiming. I'm actually doing it. It was too much.

13:40Ronnie Karam: Well, here's another thing they haven't fixed besides her and Kelly. They have not fixed the green screens. I mean, those are still crazy. Why does it look like Shamia is in space? And then Drew does one where they sit her. Yeah, they sit Drew in this weird angle to where the her background is the closet door. It's like a pantry door. Why? Why would you do that? There's a piano on the other side of her. Do the other side of her.

14:10Ben Mandelker: I thought the same thing, especially with Shamia, because it looked so janky all of last season. I was like, you guys were using the same background. Like the chair that Shamia is sitting in is not scaled proportionately to the furniture behind her on the green screen. And it's also at a different angle. So like the sofa is going up, but the chair is going down and you're like, like it was a perspective. And I'm like, well, she looks this and it makes her look tiny as a result. Like she's like little mini Shamia in her giant furniture amongst giant sofas. I was like, guys, can you just go in there with your phone and just take a photo and use that because this is not working.

14:43Ben Mandelker: And again, Drew, like putting her chair right in the middle of her foyer where you see her dining room back there and her front door, the other corner, like what is going on with this show? Why have they not made some quality of life improvements?

14:55Ronnie Karam: Yeah, I don't know. But overall, a really fun episode. Portia's coming back in with the standard like rent a boyfriend kind of a storyline. You know, I think later she comes out of the closet and we meet her girlfriend, right? Because that's the story. She's with a woman now. So I don't know if this was all fake. And she wasn't going to do that. But this seems fake. Well, he's an actor.

15:18Ben Mandelker: Very, very fake. He's an actor. He has a whole series of credits. Like people on Twitter are saying he's an actor. And people are like, oh my God, Portia hired a boyfriend. Now, it's also possible that she's just dating a guy who's an actor. So it's hard to know. But the fact that he is an actor is sort of curious. but we'll see. We'll see. I thought it was a, I thought it was a fine premiere. I didn't think it was anything amazing personally, but in fact, I thought actually at some points it was actually slow, but I do think it's a good cast. And I think that it will, I think it was a good, like, Hey, you know, start of the season, we're going to get it going.

15:54And I'm optimistic.

15:56Ronnie Karam: Yeah. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crap. It's commercial.

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19:16Ronnie Karam: So we start with someone sitting down in a chair in front of a green screen and turning on a TV. and um so we see some you know we see some stuff coming up from the season but guess what it turns out to be cynthia and cynthia turns around and she's like i'm watching what does she say it's her line now what else is going on now i thought this was what do you mean her line that's cynthia's

19:43Ben Mandelker: that's like one of her famous lines is you know what else is going on yeah that's a cynthia like famous meme yes she it was like i forget what the full line was but like the the vibe of the original line was like i don't want to talk about that now what else is going on it's kind of like she shuts something down then okay i have to look it up now because i'm totally totally bastardizing cynthia's famous line cynthia bailey now what else is going on she had autocorrects oh she goes oh her line is i'm so stupid her line is i'm cynthia bailey now what else is going on i like that my version was i don't want to talk about that no one else is going on

20:23Ronnie Karam: you know i've seen every episode of real housewives of atlanta most of them multiple times especially the earlier seasons and i could not name a cynthia meme even if you paid me like a cynthia line that's sad 50 synth not even 50 cent well but that's not a line it's just well i

20:47Ben Mandelker: I think the vibe was kind of like like yeah well fuck yeah of course I like killed that thing of course I was amazing in this I'm Cynthia Bailey now what else is going on like so obvious that we don't have to talk about it anymore no I get it I just don't what else

21:02Ronnie Karam: I just don't remember what else

21:05Ben Mandelker: here's my question I'm Cynthia Bailey what else is going on here's my question um like we love Cynthia we also just did her show with Crystal. Check it out. Humble brag. She's great. Just the sweetest. It's kind of funny that they had this moment where we see the half trailer and then this anonymous lady who was watching her turns around and it's Cynthia. Almost like, plot twist, Cynthia's back, but it's like, it wasn't a twist because we all knew and she was back last season and also she's in the trailer. It's already been here.

21:41Ronnie Karam: It was like a cool moment, but I didn't get it.

21:43Ben Mandelker: I didn't get the purpose of the cool moment.

21:46Ronnie Karam: maybe it's a new producer it's like you guys Cynthia's back

21:51Ben Mandelker: maybe she's encouraging us to watch a different channel okay so this is what's happening on Bravo what else is going on like well Discovery has something on about pawn shops

22:00Ronnie Karam: something about love overboard I don't know

22:04Ben Mandelker: very little responses

22:06Ronnie Karam: yeah so The Count of Monte Cristo is a lovely PBS show

22:12Ben Mandelker: Sue AI is coming in Oh, well, what else is going on? Well, according to the listings, it looks like we have a royal wedding happening on A &E. Sue, you're lying again. I did make that up. I got nervous.

22:24Ronnie Karam: You're right. Yeah, I don't know. I don't really know. So we see some scenes and then we flash to the beginning of the season and Phaedra's at home asking Aiden who is like, what is he running for Congress? Like he's so old now. I know. Like running for Congress. He's got to be about 36 now. It's like a full lawyer now. And so they're chatting in the kitchen and they're talking about his homecoming date. And he's like, I just want her to be really good looking. And Phaedra's like, not very good looking, but what if she's not smart? And he's like, well, we need you to get someone good too, mom.

22:59Ronnie Karam: Like maybe Drake.

23:01Ben Mandelker: She's like, Drake? Oh, God. Yeah, Jersey Drake. He's rich too. She goes, I'm rich. And now we see Kelly dropping her daughter Chloe off in college. and they've got this whole dorm room that's set up. And now we ultimately land in Angela's house where she's got her grill up to 5 ,000 degrees and smoke is coming off everywhere. And she's trying to like put some burgers on and Charles is like, it's too hot. She's like, no, Charles, it's great. So she's saying that she declares that she's the best cook in the house, which she's purely telling us we know to make sure that Charles gets annoyed when he watches this episode.

23:42Ben Mandelker: She recorded that probably in, what, like November, January, knowing she's like, I'm just going to wait. I'm going to wait the three or four months for Charles to watch this and get mad.

23:52Ronnie Karam: It's just a slow burn. She's like, I can wait. I'm just going to plant a bunch of shit he can get mad at later. I'll tell you this about Charles. I have never tasted his food. I know that he cooks a lot of it, as we saw last year as he was cooking 90 ,000 pounds of food every episode. So I know he cooks a lot. also i know that he does not clean that grill because god damn that thing was about to explode there was so much smoke coming out of it i think it's because it wasn't cleaned you know why because i don't clean my grill either and it almost explodes yep i don't believe in it i i um my

24:27Ben Mandelker: grill i try i clean the grates but the thing is the stuff that falls down below it's dangerous and uh yeah i've had definitely fire yeah i don't care fires emerge from below the great like fire

24:39Ronnie Karam: yeah me too i'm everyone who doesn't clean their grill on the regular saw what was happening in this scene and that thing was about to explode and i believe that fire cleans fire cleanses if it were possible i would take showers and fire because it's cleansing wow a testimony for fire hi i'm and i approve this fire it's what sets us apart from the animals okay i've seen jungle book i've seen jungle book i set fire to the shower so i actually did just watch jungle book a couple months ago uh the live action one it is so good okay carrying on so um amari comes out and she's like mom those burgers look like hockey pucks and she's like oh god charles is the ultimate controller like he's gonna troll me but you know charles and i are stronger than ever and we've been making great strides in our marriage and we're still standing and she serves him a hockey puck and he you you hear it's like as he bites down he's like oh this is great this is this is great so they've had some therapy and angela's like damn it you are going to love me on camera and you are going to stand by me and support me damn it and he's like okay and he's trying but god damn she's making it hard already it's been five seconds yeah exactly and uh yeah she was

26:02Ben Mandelker: saying that like he's like the ultimate troller but um so then uh she also says charles decided to do a relationship podcast and they asked the question of what made you get married and we see charles in this podcast and he's like i think somebody might have put something in my drink that night. So romance is always ever present.

26:27Ronnie Karam: I love grouchy ass Charles. And she's like, but you know, Charles is the one that actually planned to get married and he's the one he planned for us to go to Vegas. So for him to say that, I was just like, what? Where's this coming from? And he's like, well, I didn't say that you drug me, did I? She's like, well, who else would have drugged you? I mean, you're basically saying you didn't choose to marry me, Charles. And he's like, but I apologize I told you about it. I just swallowed a doorstopper to make you happy.

26:54Ben Mandelker: Okay. She's like, well, I'm not going to shut down another rumor. And she basically is saying, you know, all the rumors from last year about June bug. And that happened at the waffle party. When she said during toast gate, which I'm like, do we, are we calling it toast gate? Cause then you see that guy who like, it was like toast to Charles and his, whatever his, his mistress is. Um, she's like, I don't care. I don't care. You know what? Like, whatever rumor you have about Charles, I don't care. Like, Angela this year doesn't care. I heard he sleeps with a stocking cap in his hair. I don't care.

27:29Ben Mandelker: I hear he rolls his hair up in pink rollers. I don't care. I hear he uses Pantene. I don't care. I'm like, wow, Angela, you're really obsessed with these hair rumors for Charles, huh?

27:41Ronnie Karam: So she's like, come on now, hug me. And he's like, ugh. She's like, you said you would. You said you wouldn't therapy. So he's like, oh, I'm going to hug you. She's like, you want to touch my booty now? I was like, okay, you're taking this a little far. Can you please just take the car keys you put in between hamburger buns out of my face and leave me alone? Take a nap. Yeah.

27:59Ben Mandelker: Now we go over to Portia. Portia is at a photo shoot. I saw Derek Blanks is in the background. I feel like Derek Blanks does not get enough credit on Atlanta for being kind of like an ongoing recurring character because it's like they do like 10 photo shoots every season on the show. And they're all with Derek Blanks. So here we have our first. Because his last name is blank.

28:21Ronnie Karam: blank space baby hi my name is ronnie nothing anybody want to hang out nope nobody nobody

28:28Ben Mandelker: nobody because what was the thing that i don't know he just did some other photo shoot recently oh it was for uh it was actually for jackie on merit to medicine this past season where he was doing tiktoks for jackie for her scrubs so uh porsche um k michelle enters and porsche is saying I've known Kate Michelle through the years Our worlds have kind of been parallel People always said that we look alike But we've done a movie together And of course I enjoy her music career And we see Kate Michelle performing on stage And then Kate Michelle introduces herself to us

29:05Ronnie Karam: Yeah She says She's Kate Michelle She's known to her family and the country music world As Puddin And she's even got a belt buckle that says Puddin Okay she's a mom a singer an actress a songwriter she's got four number one albums on billboard five gold records two platinum records god damn i was like oh my god what are you doing here yeah seriously did you miss your ride to somewhere else i mean what are you doing

29:34Ben Mandelker: she says i've made a lot of songs that make people smile laugh cry dance I just like okay that's great uh she goes I'm a mood changer so uh so Portia's like I'm proud of you she's like thank you so the new so um the new area that you're stepping into country music you know what they think about people of our color right because that is a fair observation and K. Michelle's just like you know what when I started my musical career the record labels said it would be easier for me to do R &B than it was to do country and she's like every time she would do like an R &B album. She's like, can I do my country album now?

30:12Ben Mandelker: Can I do it yet? And they'd be like, yeah, but this just doesn't sound black enough. And so finally she was like, you know what? I'm just putting out my country album. So she finally has done that.

30:22Ronnie Karam: I'm looking up her country album, but I don't think that's what I was listening to today.

30:27Ben Mandelker: Because it's under the name Puddin' as opposed to K.

30:29Ronnie Karam: Michelle. Oh, yeah. No, I was listening to K. Michelle. What was that? It sounded like country-ish. Hold on. Anybody want to buy a heart? That's what I was listening to. Oh, my God. That's from 2014. Smella, the one I was listening to was from 2014. Anybody want to buy a heart? I just kept listening to songs on that one because I really like the title of the album. Okay, so now I need to look up Puddin'.

30:53Ben Mandelker: Puddin'. While you look that up, K. Michelle also says that Beyonce basically saw what the music she was doing and sent her a little something. And we see a flashback to K. Michelle receiving a bouquet from Beyonce. It's funny because when K. Michelle said, you know, when Beyonce saw what I was doing, you know, it was so nice when Beyonce saw what I was doing and liked it. And I was like, okay, K. Michelle. Because I'm so used to Drew Sedora saying things like that when she's like, LeBron James listens to my music when he warms up for basketball games. Which is like, maybe true, but you never know with Drew Sedora, right?

31:28Ben Mandelker: Drew is always saying these half-truths. So I'm automatically just predisposed to just not believing anyone on Real Housewives when they make a celebrity bragging moment like Lisa Barlow also. But in this case, we see a flashback that Beyonce really did send K. Michelle a whole bouquet.

31:44Ronnie Karam: Well, you know, Beyonce is good at sending stuff. She sent me a cease and desist. So that was, that was fun. She's like, please leave me alone. She's like, please stop trying to follow me. So K. Michelle greets Portia and they're hugging and stuff. And Portia's like, girl, I went through so much last year. I've just been taking care of me. Like, I don't know if you know, but my divorce is final. So they high five. And she's saying, you know, but there's stuff that's still lingering because they just want to keep going and going and going. I'm just so famous. No, it's because you won't leave that house that you're in.

32:23Ronnie Karam: She's like, I don't know why these headlines keep going because you won't leave. She's basically squatting in that house. So we see headlines. Portia Williams mansion hit with lean after Simon's divorce debt. Portia Williams faces$205 ,000 lien on a$7 million mansion amid Simon's debt to divorce attorney. Yeah.

32:46Ben Mandelker: And Portia's talking to us and she's like, Like, do I foresee myself staying in that house? Well, I mean, I'm paying the bills, so I would hope so. And so not only is she staying in the house, she's going to have a party. And it's going to be a couple's party. She's going to bring everyone together. It's going to be a date night. And everyone's going to bring their spouses or their situationships. which means that clearly Portia is going to soft launch something because why would you have a significant other's party and not have someone to present to everyone? So we're already getting ready for what this is going to be.

33:20Ronnie Karam: I thought this was going to be her coming out party. Like, I'm going to have a couple's thing. I'm going to introduce my girlfriend. Boom. It's going to be an amazing start to the season. But no, she's like, I'm going to have a couple's party to introduce my rent-a-date. Okay. So she's going to have this big party, and she's talking about how difficult her divorce was because, you know, it was public, guys. It was a very public divorce to a man she was married to for five minutes. It's been really hard. But it came to shells like, okay, well, by the way, I'm married. She also has like a little voice where she's like, I'm married.

33:56Ronnie Karam: And she goes, oh, my God, I knew it. She goes, yeah. I got married a couple weeks ago at the courthouse in Nashville, Tennessee. His name is Kasten. and he's a dentist. So, ding! Pretty teeth. I think it's very smart to not date a famous person. Date you a dentist if you can. My God.

34:15Ben Mandelker: I think it's like smart to not date a famous person and also make sure that that person has a medical degree of some kind because it's just really helpful. Like, so many free questions you can ask, you know?

34:28Ronnie Karam: So, Michelle - And you get like so many like free little toothpastes and stuff. and like every time you've gone through problems they'll be like do you want to go get an ice cream you know because that's what you do after the dentist your mom will take you to like get a little ice cream or something that's good date a dentist that'd be lovely it'd be lovely um so

34:47Ben Mandelker: anyway so k michelle's like so are you gonna bring dennis and she's like oh that's my family no well no like we don't want to know about the situationship just yet you know i do feel like i'm starting to i'm ready to start dating i do feel like i've deserved to be admired and i deserve to be courted and I deserve to be treated special and I got a little friend and why should I sit in the house and be bored?

35:08Ronnie Karam: Well, you know, you deserve to be courted. You're taken to court a lot. Does that count? Is that romantic? So she's saying who's coming is going to be Angela, Phaedra, Kelly. You know her. She owns Nana Chicken and Waffles and she's like, oh, I love food.

35:25Ben Mandelker: I feel like K. Michelle started that sentence thinking Nana's Chicken and Waffles was one restaurant and then realize halfway through that it wasn't so she's like oh i love food she's like i love raska food i love international house of food i went to easter brunch yesterday with my parents and i

35:50Ronnie Karam: ate a waffle and it was fucking amazing i haven't had a waffle in so long it was like filled not filled but they put a lot of vanilla in it wow that's a secret right there vanilla i love a

36:01Ben Mandelker: waffle.

36:01Ronnie Karam: I've always used a little vanilla, but they put a lot of vanilla. God, it was delicious. So Nana's Chicken and Waffles, four stars. That's pretty good. The new one closed, though, I think. Yeah, I think so. Atlanta is not having a good moment with their restaurants. At least the TV show is not. Candy's restaurant closed. Both of them closed. I think all of them closed. Yeah. And then Nana's Chicken and Waffles, that one closed. One of those closed. Pinky. Pinky's not doing good. The slutty vegan. she's in a lot of trouble with that

36:33Ben Mandelker: is she? I know she was she had a spot out here on Melrose or she was doing a pop-up here on Melrose but they had to shut that one down but I don't know if that was like a nefarious shutting down or like just the natural tenure of the pop-up

36:48Ronnie Karam: yeah, 2026 she filed bankruptcy, the entrepreneur behind the plant-based burger brand owes nearly 1.4 million in debt, so I think she's in trouble yeah, that does not sound great No, I'm saying it's her first episode. So she's like, I'm rich. I'm pink and I'm rich as hell. It's like the week before it comes out. Everyone's like, she's broke. She's broke. Hi, my name is Roda online. And I'm just here to tell you she's broke. So then French vixen.

37:21Ben Mandelker: Portia is that K. Michelle was like, oh, and you're, you know, Shamia, your best friend is going to be there. And Portia goes, well, my ex best friend. and she says Portia tells us that Shamian and her have a non-existent friendship which is quite natural for this situation I like that she talks about it like a side effect when you take a medication it's typical symptoms may last for two to three weeks runny heads, loose stools, you know how it goes

37:53Ronnie Karam: so runny heads did I say? runny noses, loose stools so then she goes and Drew Sedora is going to be there. You know her, right? And she's like, no. She goes, come on. It's your fellow singer. We're not going to argue with her, okay? And she already hates her. Kay Michelle already hates her. And Portia's like, what singer are you not beefing with? Okay? I mean, stop it. Everything you're doing is elevating. We're here to elevate. Elevate. Elevate. Well, she's going to need one because her husband lives in the basement. Her knee's got to be tired.

38:24Ben Mandelker: She's already inherently elevated over Ralph. So Kay Michelle's like, well, I just feel like my reputation, everything in Atlanta has just been, I don't know, I feel like people judge me and I feel like I'm angry. Yeah, but Kay, let me tell you this. If there was anybody who has ever felt misunderstood over these past couple of years, you know what? Oh, oh, Kay, oh, because Kay just starts to cry. I don't know why she's crying, but she just starts to cry. Because she's good and she knows that Portia

38:51Ronnie Karam: is going to try to make this all about herself. And so she's like, oh, no, you're not taking my pity story, ma 'am. Okay? This is not about you being misunderstood.

38:59Ben Mandelker: My backstory is that I made it through the VH1 machine and now I'm here at Bravo. So that's my story.

39:06Ronnie Karam: Yeah, I win. Yeah. So she's like, and this is where she tells us my time with women in Atlanta destroyed me from a bunch of women who dated my ex who abused me. Then them trying to blackball me out of Atlanta and Atlanta's been a mean girl city. And my whole career, the height of my career has been proving all them bitches wrong.

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42:28Ben Mandelker: So now we go to Sterling Hall, also known as Shamia's McMansion. And Kelly arrives and she's like, ah! She has a very big hello for the daughter, which is nice and then Shamia's like Kelly is the B capital F and capital F she's my best friend forever and I will never let her go she's been the biggest blessing in my life right now I mean from keeping each other's kids taking trips we're almost sister wives but Gerald's like no we're not doing that

43:03Ronnie Karam: and then Kelly comes in with her storyline she's like I'm a college mom now oh can you believe it I just mess with a munch. Why are you guys performing like there's a thousand seat theater here? You're not at the Red Rocks.

43:19Ben Mandelker: You're in a kitchen. You want to go have some champagne downstairs in the game room, Kelly?

43:28Ronnie Karam: So they talk about college. And then Shamia's got a gift bag for her. And it has some pregnancy test in there or something. And they pop some champagne. and they talk about kids going to college, et cetera. And then Kelly's like, speaking of responsibilities, how was your trip to Grenada? Because you have to go take care of some business, right, Grenada? Oh, God! Yes, that's right, because Kelly, I have a rum company now!

44:02Ronnie Karam: Yes, Shamia pulling out the Housewife New Business every season, which I love, you know, that's all ramped.

44:08Ben Mandelker: I think you're missing the really low-key response from Kelly, which was, I'm like, you guys.

44:30These two. I'm doing the rum to rabbit. I'm doing the rum to rabbit. They call me the rum shaker.

44:45Ronnie Karam: So she's like, oh my God, can we go to Grenada now every single year? And she goes, every year we have to because those are my people now. So she says she just went to Grenada for a good time, but she got even more than that, guys, because Gerald believes in her passion for music so much that he's invested over six figures, and it's time for Kelly to give back by spending more of his money to buy a rum company somehow makes sense in her mind i'm not really sure like i i realized that

45:16Ben Mandelker: my singing career is going nowhere so um i guess i should do something to contribute to this household or try to make that money back because i feel really guilty really guilty so um she's

45:29Ronnie Karam: like i don't know if i'm that busy that that business savvy and she's like oh you are you stop it you're the business queen you're a boss match i mean i'm smart but as far as business oh no what do i do and uh so now they're talking about portia's event and uh shimmy is like wow

45:48Ben Mandelker: that'll be interesting like i can't wait to see the ladies just oh it's gonna be an interesting night you know i was happy to get the invitation but i mean it was on a group text maybe she just forgot to take my name off of it. And Kelly's like, have you talked to her? She's like, I mean, there were some back and forth attacks, you know, after we all met up at reunion.

46:13Ronnie Karam: So she tells us that, you know, she's Shamiya. So she has a slow response time. She basically needs to have a scene happen, go read what people think about it online, and then respond. So she has a response, which is kind of what she says here. She's like, you know, I mean, there was stuff in the reunion that I didn't say because I didn't even hear what Portia was saying. But then after I processed it and I watched the reunion, I said, oh, my God, she said that. So, yeah, I had some things to say to Portia in a text after the read. Shamia, you can't. That was it's not like the reunion was 10 minutes and you just forgot some stuff.

46:49Ronnie Karam: That was like a full day of like 16 hours recorded. We sat through three episodes of that shit. you can't go through all of that and then expect us to still have to listen to this because now you've had time to process oh my god seriously and this is where she does her whole bit of like

47:03Ben Mandelker: so i sent portia a text and we had a text exchange and i'll just pantomime what it was what it was like i was like oh my god please please please make this i couldn't ura hagen called and she says please stop acting too much too much it's it's i can't yeah so then um she asks if gerald

47:24Ronnie Karam: is going to be coming and we see shimmy is showing gerald the invite in a flashback and she's like do you want to go and he's like oh so kelly is now they're talking about like well why is porsche having a couple's date who's she bringing and um she's like it's simon's house and Kelly's like, it's Simon's house, and she's bringing somebody to Simon's house? Kelly, stop. You're being so hilarious. America's going to love you too much. Stop it. She's like, what if you want to get some cutty at the end of the night in Simon's house? That man is gone. He has been deported, and he's gone. She earned that house.

48:10Ronnie Karam: She had to pretend to like Simon for over a year. She's earned it.

48:15Ben Mandelker: She has. Then Kelly does this whole thing where she's like, oh my God, Portia, every time that man has her over a counter. And she like leans over the counter. She's like. She's just doing. She's. It's just it's so over the top. I'm like, you are not enduring yourself to us right now, Kelly. Like, stop, please, please. Yeah.

48:33Ronnie Karam: So now we go to Portia's Mystic Island dinner. Not to be confused with a Mystic River dinner, which would have a totally different vibe. That would be so depressing. Like, where is she? Where is she? Where's the girl? Where's the girl?

48:49Ben Mandelker: It'll just be Marsha Gay Harden running through the dinner party. Be like, has anyone seen Robbie? Where's Robbie? Where's Robbie? I'll always remember that scene. What have you done? Laura Linney will just be standing by the doorway watching the dinner, being like, you do what you have to do. So Portia's like, well, the theme of this dinner is majestic. Wait, what is it? What kind of island is it? I forgot. Line.

49:14Ronnie Karam: And they're like, Mystic Island. She goes, Majestic Island. And so they show us an invitation that says Mystic Island. And she's like, it's very intriguing. It's very titillating conversation.

49:25Ben Mandelker: Titillating. By the way, there's nothing about this party that suggests it's a Mystic Island. It's just white curtains draped in a room. There's like, there's no palm fronds, at least none that I remember. We don't see tropical drinks. It's just like a room with drapes. so uh it's when when she when portia says it's gonna be an intriguing dinner with very titillating conversation i was like oh my god not table games the plague that is gonna single-handedly

49:55Ronnie Karam: take down bravo yeah two in the night god because we get them on rhode island too it's like jeez but yeah and she does the titillating she's like it's a titillator Wow, she does a Nini impersonation with that. I wonder if Nini's sitting at home writing out bills or writing out IOUs to Portia. Because she's starting to steal a bit. So then Angela and Charles come. People start arriving. And Angela's like, I don't think I would have a couples event at my ex-husband's home as quickly as she did. What if he jumps out of the closet? I don't know why everyone is so confused.

50:34Ben Mandelker: they're really trying to build a comedy bit out of this like oh my god the ghost of simon

50:39Ronnie Karam: um which is real housewives we're used to seeing people have parties in homes they got from the guys that they left i don't see what the big deal is but i'd be upset if it weren't in the home of

50:50Ben Mandelker: an ex you know so uh cynthia is facetiming uh le prince which is her man and uh because basically people are arriving and so Cynthia's like well I don't have my man with me but here he is on FaceTime and then Drew arrives and she has her own virtual date this is the famous Black who is referenced at the reunion so Black is there on FaceTime he's just sitting there but the difference between Cynthia and Drew is that Cynthia's like hey everyone this is Le Prince he says hi okay and then she hangs up her phone and Drew keeps Black on the phone on FaceTime the entire dinner and he's just sitting there like smiling just so happy that he's virtually part of a Real Housewives

51:33Ronnie Karam: so weird it's so weird at least like put him in a phone case around your neck so he can see what's going on I know the whole thing is super weird

51:42Ben Mandelker: it's so weird it's truly bizarre so Drew says I didn't ever imagine it would be two years and I still have you know a man underneath the stairs but and then the producer says while you're dating Oh, my God. I knew you were going to ask me that. I've been on dates, okay? And I have a friend.

52:04Ronnie Karam: Yeah. And Angela's like, Drew, just tell us the truth. We know what the truth is. Like, who do you think you're lying to here? So then Drew sees Portia and, you know, hugs her. And Portia's like, wow, so another date on the phone. Okay. Maybe I should have just made this an Uber date. Okay. Rent a date. I'm doing it. Why is nobody else able to rent a human to bring to this party?

52:30Ben Mandelker: The escorting industry is there for your service, okay? So then they're like, oh, my God, who's coming? Like, oh, wow, like, Black, okay, you guys are more than just friends for sure. And Drew says, he goes everywhere with me. It's like my little best friend in my phone. And the producer goes, but what about After Dark? She goes, hmm, we do a lot of things on the phone. I was like, okay, I'm bored.

52:52Ronnie Karam: so uh i'm like so phedra comes phedra comes and she's like well i think i'm in a good place with the group besides angela because she was all gung-ho that i had something to do with george jefferson who's friends with june bug who i gave all the money to and the godfather of atlanta and spearheaded toes gate i mean i just she's like uh yeah i mean everyone knows i've got

53:21Ben Mandelker: several jobs, but running around meeting people at the Lenox Mall is definitely not one of them. So Kay Michelle shows up and she's brought Kasten with her and she says that she's known Kasten since the 9th grade and they dated on and off again and she says, when I went on to Queens Court, we were on a breakup and that was me telling him that there are other men that are interested in me, which I felt like when Kay Michelle said that, I was like, I don't know the situation but that feels like a retroactive adjustment to the narrative. I feel like she went on Queen's Court and people were like, she's secretly dating Castan.

53:56Ben Mandelker: And now she's saying, no, no, no, I wasn't dating him. We were on a break and I was just giving him a message. I'm just reading the lines because how many times do we see people go on dating shows and it turns out they were they had a girlfriend all along or a boyfriend all along.

54:10Ronnie Karam: Yeah, they're just like putting it on hold to do the date. We just saw it on Love Hotel here on Bravo with Ashley pretending she broke up with her boyfriend. We're seeing it right now on summer house where ben's pretending that he didn't have a girlfriend so he could come on the show he's like well we broke up but maybe now we're gonna get back together we would have

54:28Ben Mandelker: seen it on the bachelorette i think because it sounds like um taylor frankie paul formerly of the mormon church as of today um it looks like she got back with dakota anyway so like this is a standard thing so i kind of got the feeling like she was patching up a narrative inconsistency with her other reality show in that moment.

54:46Ronnie Karam: Yeah. So, K. Michelle's laughing that the house is echoey. She's like, this is like a dressed-up city hall because it's very echoey. Dressed-up city hall. This is a huge house. So, Portia's so nervous to introduce everybody. Oh, my God, guys. But here he comes, Mike. Mike. He's a big, handsome man. And so, K. Michelle's like, where'd you meet, Portia? And he's like, we met through God.

55:16Ben Mandelker: Slash central casting. Because God created that too. He creates everything on this earth. And Andrew goes, did you just say God? Meanwhile, over at Shamia's house, Pinky arrives. And Shamia also has a mullet, which is, you know, just pointing that out. So Shamia's like, I love Pinky. I interviewed Pinky a few times during morning radio. And I've always admired her grind, her hustle. and just the businesswoman that she is. And by the way, Ronnie, do we think Pinky's tagline will have, will say something like, I'm not, my name's Pinky and I do have a brain. Or, oh God, I hope not. I may be Pinky, but I'm also the brain.

56:01Ben Mandelker: It's not either or. Brain. Pinky and the brain. She just says Pinky and the brain. Pinky and the brain.

56:10Ronnie Karam: Pinky on the brain. Pinky call. At times 100, Forbes, 1 ,000 twice. Black Enterprise cover. Entrepreneur Magazine cover. Inc. Magazine cover. Essence Magazine cover. I just became that girl in Atlanta. I started slutty vegan. I built a hundred million dollar brand. And Atlanta made me a legacy. And my fortune. And then I met my baby daddy in Atlanta. And I'm a mother, a wife, a lover. And not a fighter. I can go on and on. Do you need me too? Pinky is that girl.

56:44Ben Mandelker: So I was like, okay. So then Samia brings out.

56:48Ronnie Karam: I just, I wish I could learn to have the confidence of a real housewife. Because mine, whenever they're like, Ronnie, we need a bio. I'm like, Ronnie used to smoke pretty quick. Now he vapes. I'm super embarrassed about it. He didn't improv once. I was in the commercial as a kid. Does that count? Are we allowed to count that?

57:07Ben Mandelker: My name's Ben Mandelker. I have bad posture. I'm concerned about a freckle on my knee, and I'm afraid I've had too much coffee today. I'm that guy.

57:16Ronnie Karam: I mean, it was a local commercial. It was a local commercial. It was an international. Put that in. Okay, strike that. Strike that. Just keep going. Yeah. Okay, so Shamia brings out a shot o 'clock poster. She runs a company now, guys. A rum company. I don't know if you've heard. It's going to be huge.

57:34Ben Mandelker: Shot o 'clock. You know what? put her in their running for Bravo Liberty of the year because shot a clock. That is just hilarious. Oh, I'm sorry.

57:44Ronnie Karam: Pinky, uh, pinky, would you mind moving off of that times 100 list? Cause we've got a new entry. Okay. Thanks. Shot a clock,

57:52Ben Mandelker: shot a clock, shot a clock. She made a clock off of a poster off of a tagline that she really liked that she gave herself. So, um, that also existed in pop culture before Shamia, But that's fine. That's fine. That's fine.

58:08Ronnie Karam: Yeah. So then we go back to the dinner party and everyone's sitting down at the table and Porsche's welcoming everybody. And guys, today, we're going to play a game. Game. Game center adult and fun. And Kelly comes in and Shamia hasn't shown up yet. But Kelly's brought her friend Trey. And K. Michelle sees this guy and she goes, oh, God, not him. And she's sitting by Charles. And Charles is like, not him. Who is that? She goes, oh, that man goes through everybody. he's through every trey's in everybody man like trey is like steve urkel go home trey go home

58:40Ben Mandelker: i like this sort of slutty steve urkel i was like when i think of steve urkel i don't think of someone who's gone through everyone maybe steve urkel has steven urkel stefan urkel but uh not just would tell steve urkel go home yeah but i'm assuming that this guy's just like a dweeb is what she's saying so um meanwhile portia is uh portia's like oh my god shami is a singer too everyone and charles is like because charles keeps on saying oh we got swv over here because there's three there's three women sisters with voices etc and camry shell's like that's not happening stop stop this damn swv went up when i've got to make a living off this shit okay you keep talking about swv that's like me putting you on a damn team with motherfuckers that never dribbled he's like i'm just making them better though i don't care i'll play with ray charles and stevie wonder she goes well i ain't got no money for them making them dribble she tells us look charles is an asshole i don't know nothing about charles but i relate to assholes they have already out the gate like the best like there there are three seconds of them sitting together and and like giving each other shit was so much more compelling than all of the hard work than kelly and shamia tried to do during a whole ass big scene.

59:56Ronnie Karam: Yeah. I'm just over here shocked that you don't remember. Go home, Steve. Oh, is that what they would say at the... With Urkel. They were always like, go home, Steve. The dad was like, go home, Steve.

1:00:09Ben Mandelker: I actually honestly forget that part of the Steve Urkel lore. That's so crazy because I watched that show. Yeah, I mean, I watched that show religiously, but for some reason... Family matters, doesn't it though?

1:00:21Ronnie Karam: And as you get older, you realize the double meaning of that. Family does, in fact, matter. So Drew calls Portia down to the table. And she's like, so where's Shamiya? Where's Shamiya? And she's like, I don't know. But, you know, it's raining and there's traffic. So she goes, it's not raining anymore. Maybe it's raining on that side of town, though. That's right. I'm now real estate shaming. I'm Drew Sedora. Thank you. Drew.

1:00:48Ben Mandelker: The sun always shines on Drew Sedora. and where she lives in the town. So now Shamia, by the way, Shamia's still at her house and she's calling Gerard, Gerald, to see if he's on his way. And basically, he got rerouted to Charlotte, aka he's hiding in the garage. So he will not get to it. He's in and out.

1:01:11Ronnie Karam: He's like, not going to do that. And so she's like, oh God, I can't be mad at that, can I? I guess I'm going to have to go to the party. So now back at Portia's Angela's like So is this a serious relationship brewing in front of our eyes Portia with you and Ted Mike Well you want to tell them where we are Mike And he's like oh whoa whoa whoa guys Guys it's a little soon I haven't even been paid for tonight yet She's like okay well we can start with where we met So it was after the pandemic

1:01:53we had the express during the pandemic and we met there.

1:01:57Ben Mandelker: Yes, that's where we met. That is 100 % where they're like doing improv-ing their way through the scene. And when the first time I saw you, you said Hello. How are you, my pineapple lady? Unseen.

1:02:21Ronnie Karam: So she says they met after the pandemic, but didn't she just tell us they went to junior high school together or something?

1:02:27Ben Mandelker: No, no, that was Kate Michelle and Kasten.

1:02:31Ronnie Karam: Oh, that was the dentist. Okay. So yeah, so they talked in the pandemic, but they just kept it cool. They didn't do anything. And Kelly's like, um, you're a bold bitch. I mean, didn't you meet Simon during COVID? Okay, well, technically she met Simon prior to COVID, but that's a whole other conversation. So I'm Kelly.

1:02:53Ben Mandelker: The math is not mathing. I don't know if she may have forgotten, but she was in a relationship with somebody at the time.

1:02:59Ronnie Karam: Portia. This is so Portia, though, too. Yeah. And she's like, okay, guys, well, I'm not going to lie. Yeah, that means you're going to lie. You're already lying, Portia. Just keep it up. Well, I threw out a thirst trap, and I knew it was going to catch. I knew it was, and it did. So now Shamia, Pinky, and Derek arrive. Pinky immediately spills her drink on the floor.

1:03:22Ben Mandelker: She grabs it off the waiter's tray and just sloshes it around like Lucille Bluth. Shamia's like, I'm a little nervous about pulling up. I mean, what the hell am I going to do to this lady's house after the last text? I mean, this is crazy. I mean, thank God it's shut o 'clock.

1:03:45Ronnie Karam: So they come in and Charles is like, you're eight hours late. Look, Charles. And he just laughs. And Kate Michelle just start laughing. So Portia goes to greet her and they hug. And Shamia's like, well, I was kind of like, do I keep my hands in for the hug? Because what if she tries something and I can get out of here quick? I mean, that was a really slow hug. Let me reenact it for you. I'm doing great with the pantomimes tonight.

1:04:12Ben Mandelker: America, you got to admit, how funny was that hug? This will probably be a meme, right? Like that hug was pretty iconic. I'm like, Shamia, no one cares about how you hugged Portia. No one was paying attention in the room, on TV or in the audience. Please, I beg you.

1:04:27Ronnie Karam: and Portia's playing this really smart maybe different terms I mean we're talking about Portia but she's playing this pretty well because she's being very nice about Shamia she's just like every time they ask her about Shamia she's like you know we made up we had a really positive conversation now we're coming back to the conversation they ask Shamia and she's like oh really we had a text full of fuck you's and you know this and that and then Portia hugs her and they ask Shamia how they're doing and she's like oh Portia oh really what if she tries something on me and I can't even get to it and I have to get out of here.

1:04:58Ronnie Karam: Well, Portia, what did you think? I'm so glad she's here.

1:05:01Ben Mandelker: Yeah. Portia's smart. I mean, she sort of did this last season too because I do believe that Portia is probably a hard person to be friends with because she's so famous and I feel like she probably brings everything to herself. That was the whole issue last year was that Shamia felt like Portia sort of took and took and took and Shamia felt like she couldn't have her moment. And I could definitely see that happening with someone like Portia. She's such a big personality. But Portia, she is very savvy and she is just gonna she's going to at least pretend or present like she's taking the high road and that's kind of all that matters because i kind of feel like like i was i kind of i felt for shamia last season but this season i feel like i'm done with it and i was like well porsha can can play nice why can't you shamia you know which may not have any logic to it because it's like you know just because it's a new season doesn't mean that we get reset on all or how we feel about everything but i kind of feel like i do do that like it's a new season i'm going to create new opinions on everyone based off of this new season so that's my long way of saying i agree

1:06:02Ronnie Karam: with you ronnie well yeah this was always kind of shimmy coming for portia for not being you know enough or being there enough for her and na na na na na and portia was like what i'm sorry what why are you mad so it looks like it's going to be that again so um she's got a new body i guess she got herself like a body makeover or something. And so Phaedra sees her and she's like, well, so Mia definitely got herself done up. I mean, it's giving three 60. I mean, listen, if you can afford it, buy it. And if you can, I guess inject it.

1:06:32Ben Mandelker: Yeah. And so everyone's saying, I pinky is going around saying hi to everyone. And when she sees Kelly, she's like, Oh, hi Kelly. Oh, you left me on red on, on, on Instagram, but that's okay. Okay. Hi everyone. Hi. I was like, Oh wow. So Kelly, uh, she's like, you know what? Pinky is not a girl's girl. We've spoken on some panels together and I've reached out to Pinky a few times and she left me on red. She showed up, you know, with that little netted thing on. I don't know if Pinky thought we were burying Simon or coming to protest for Simon. Like, where are you going?

1:07:02Ronnie Karam: Or Kelly. You left me on red. Oh God. That's so embarrassing. They're both accusing each other of that.

1:07:09Ben Mandelker: They're both accusing each other of leaving each other on red. So this is. Oh,

1:07:12Ronnie Karam: I thought it was just Kelly who said that you left me on red. I didn't even see that.

1:07:16Ben Mandelker: So I think Pinky said it to Kelly too. I think they're both accusing each other. So it just goes to show that we not only have singer on singer acrimony on this season. We also have eatery on eatery acrimony happening between the vegan restaurant and the waffle restaurant.

1:07:33Ronnie Karam: So, and it's like the more famous restaurateur versus the not famous restaurateur. Dun, dun, dun.

1:07:39Ben Mandelker: That's where Gerald is. He's hiding away from this cast. He's like, where, where can I go where no one will ever see me?

1:07:45Ronnie Karam: ah kelly's restaurant namas so pinky uh pinky says hi to michelle and she loves they love each other and um pinky says i love some k you know one of my investors is her line sister so we connected and we became uh fast friends and that's my girl she's my spirit sister and my sorority sister so you know yeah we're together guys delta the delta so pinky tells uh that's that's a

1:08:13Ben Mandelker: a relationship that by the end of the season will be torn asunder clearly. You can always see it every season. Well yeah, whenever they're like, that's my sister

1:08:19Ronnie Karam: where nothing will ever break us apart. Cut to the reunion. I wrote for you! Evergate comes in. She's like, we'll see about that.

1:08:30Ben Mandelker: So, Phaedra's also saying that she's known Pinky for well over a decade and she's done lots of deals and she's a smart cookie, etc. And Drew's like, guys, guys, guys! Who wants to meet Black? Everyone hears Black. She's like holding up the phone again. And Shamia's like, oh, I thought you were on a Zoom call for work. I didn't realize that was her date. I don't understand why this true lady has this man on his FaceTime. Like, the man on FaceTime got a ring light. Like, what's going on? And then Shamia comes in with a mohawk, a mohawk and a new body. And then I see a lady with a white wig and a violin standing behind Portia.

1:09:07Ronnie Karam: We cut to it. And there is, in fact, a lady in a white wig with a violin behind Portia. she's like I'm allergic to violins this is some Tyler Perry shit

1:09:19Ben Mandelker: yeah by the way it still is not really the violinist is to me does not say oh we're on a mystic island right now mystic islands

1:09:27Ronnie Karam: random ladies with violins

1:09:29Ben Mandelker: in front of white curtains so Portia has cards in her hand because she's going to play a game called who did that and the violinist is like right behind her so Portia goes okay to the lovely oakley's who made the first move in the bedroom and angel's like girl he was ready the first night and everyone laughs and charles like well if you stay ready you don't have to get ready but you know what i what i didn't ask for is i didn't ask for the first

1:09:55Ronnie Karam: night though anyway so uh-huh charles you did want me to come upstairs after we left that restaurant that night and he's like no i didn't because you got in somebody else's car and i got in my car, okay? Oh, my God.

1:10:10Ben Mandelker: She can't win, Angela. Oh, my gosh. She really can't. Pinky's like, whoa, this is like an episode of Maury Povich. So then Portia's like, okay, Kay, who is more likely to start an argument just to have makeup sex? She goes, me? She's like, I did it earlier today or something like that.

1:10:26Ronnie Karam: So, Pinky, have you had any public moments? And Derek says, yeah, they were about to buy a property in Birmingham. So they were on the second floor and the realtor was on the first floor and they did it. oh yeah so now Pinky's like yeah you know I vowed not to date anybody that ate meat because I'm a vegan but I'm on the board of PETA and here we are five years later and the only meat I eat is his

1:10:52Ben Mandelker: so Portia says okay Shamir this one's for you name one physical thing that you would take from your last partner to upgrade your new partner she's like well I've got nothing to upgrade on Gerald Mwangi Mwangi, there is nothing whoo shot a clock so Portia's like oh, so nothing can answer me, okay, great so Drew's like

1:11:16Ronnie Karam: so then Drew goes, wait a minute where is he? why is he not here?

1:11:22Ben Mandelker: same reason why your guy's on the phone Drew's like oh, was he traveling? he is actually, oh, okay good guess, oh, I don't know I just asked the question

1:11:34Ronnie Karam: Well, yeah, you guessed great. And that was a great guess, Drew. She goes, so that's your answer? Okay. He's traveling, everybody. He's traveling.

1:11:43Ben Mandelker: Drew then turns to Shamia and goes, are you okay? Well, you asked and I answered, are you okay? She goes, well, just, it was added with some extra energy. She goes, just focus on your Zoom call.

1:11:54Ronnie Karam: Yeah, Shamia gets really shady with Drew. Drew's like, geez, I was just asking in a shady way, but still, God. So she goes, yeah, he is actually traveling back to Atlanta. And Drew's like, well, my date's here, so you should worry about your husband. She goes, girl, your husband's not here. Your man's in your basement, okay? Your man is in your home.

1:12:15Ben Mandelker: Cynthia's like, I don't know why Drew's on Shamia's ass about Gerald not being here. And Gerald usually is not here, so I didn't really expect him to be here. So clearly Shamia didn't expect her man to be here. So I don't know why Drew did. Like Cynthia does her little giggle afterwards. Yeah.

1:12:32Ronnie Karam: So now we're ordering some shots because it's a clock, guys. So they're still going. Drew's like, do you want to get on the Zoom, too? She goes, I can call him. Okay, well, then do it. But I'm here. But you seem a little bothered. I'm just making sure you're okay. Okay, geez. So Mike speaks up to get control back, and Portia's, like, dinging her glass. So Phaedra says, well, the most entertaining guest has to be Black, sitting on his FaceTime call for over three hours with this big, bright smile. And they cut to him and he's like, still here, still here, still on the phone.

1:13:05Ben Mandelker: I'm not sure if he doesn't use the bathroom, if he has a colostomy bag. I don't know what's going on. Might be a bomb for all I know. So, of course, she's like, okay, okay, Cynthia, answer this one. Who have you had a sex dream about at this table? And Cynthia's like, girl, the question may be who's had a sex dream about me at the table, maybe. And everyone's like, yeah, Cynthia, Cynthia. What else is going on?

1:13:31Ronnie Karam: Click. Why does she have a remote control? Pinky asks Portia when the last time she was intimate with her guy. And they stare at each other. And Portia's like, I'm nine months. And they're like, nine months? He goes, yeah. Because, you know, since we've been back, we haven't really done anything. And he says, yeah, she nailed and bailed. She's like, what? That wasn't part of the impression. That was not a good yes and. No. she's like well um well i'm not mad if we figure something else out um and so lauren's like but

1:14:03Ben Mandelker: you know what there's an altar right behind you that's so convenient for this hilarious scene so she's like oh my god let's see how we look in a totally unplanned moment so they get up and they like stand as if they're like gonna get married and everything and like everyone's like oh my god this is hilarious and by the way portia's side boob is like the the side boob it we're basically looking at side boob getting married right now and um there's dan and then mike pretends like he's gonna drop down on the knee to propose everyone's like laughing like hilarious so then

1:14:37Ronnie Karam: there's some kind of projection behind them right that was so weird the light the light that well

1:14:45Ben Mandelker: they make it they they show a projection like the post-production does they they i think the lights flicker or something like that and everyone's like oh my god the spirit of simon it's here it's here

1:14:56Ronnie Karam: i'm so dumb i was like what was that why aren't they projecting stuff on i'm so dumb so um they're like oh my god run mike run he's here to kill you and phaedra's like porsche please write a book tell us the ways of your vagina because it's strong and it's a trapper so now everybody cheers is and then uh k michelle's like porsche new love safe sex paychecks and they cheers and so the guys go to the cigar lounge they go like it's like okay guys time the ladies are gonna be messy so the ladies all go sit on these couches in a square just to get some mess in with each other like okay let's all go fight it's fighting time yeah time to fight

1:15:37Ben Mandelker: so they asked me how she's doing and she said she's in a good place and just like well i'm happy to see you here and porsche i'm sure is happy to see you she's like yes i am very happy and just I was like, and I know you guys haven't spoken recently. And Kelly goes, can I tell you, I love that for you all. Is this a new leaf for you guys, for you ladies, do you think? Oh, my God, I'm Kelly.

1:15:59Ronnie Karam: And Portia says she doesn't know if it's a new leaf because she got closure last time they spoke. And she felt like it was good and it was healthy. Which I don't know if that's the text that Shamia is referring to. But it's funny how Portia puts it and how Shamia puts it. Shamia is like, yeah, that last text was flipping each other off. And so Shamia goes, it was. It was cleansing. And Portia says, and I don't have any ill will towards Shamia. And she goes, and I appreciate that. And, you know, thank you for saying that. And I was met with good energy. So I want to reciprocate that. And that's right.

1:16:27Ronnie Karam: You know, that's that. That's that. So Angela's like, okay, well, you're boring. So speaking of not so great energy, where are you and Drew at? And Drew's like, I have no issue. No problem. I'm here. Shamia's there. It's fine.

1:16:41Ben Mandelker: And Portia goes, well, don't forget, she did apologize online on her YouTube, which Portia's bringing up acting like that was a good apology but she knows it was a shitty apology and she knows everyone's gonna pounce on Shamia for it but Portia just sort of enters it into evidence with a smile on her face and we see this on YouTube Shamia tells everyone very dramatically to all the ladies of sweet 16 cast if I ever offended you if I insulted you hurt you in any way I'm sorry for whatever it is that you were so sensitive about

1:17:12Ronnie Karam: I apologize. Yeah, so funny and it's so ridiculous. That whole thing was ridiculous. I watched that until I just got tired. I was like, this is still going. Why is this still going? So Drew does a great impersonation of the video. She's like, I just want to say I'm sorry. I'm sorry to everyone who may have been offended because I'm from Decatur, bitch, and I'm here to say I'm sorry. And I don't know why I'm sorry, but I'm going to say I'm sorry. like what what are we even doing that was weird it was weird

1:17:43Ben Mandelker: so then Drew's like yeah she also said in the same breath that you went light on me and she goes oh I didn't see that one and now we see a flashback to a video and Shamiya is like well she asked me how she was a liar and where are my receipts and like how am I a liar at the reunion I could have went a lot heavier and if she kept on doing what she was doing I'm gonna have to go heavier but I don't want to so Cynthia's like Shamiya would you like to take drew aside and give her an apology and she was like no i would not like to cynthia okay well you would not then we're done then we're done here she goes but she got

1:18:17Ronnie Karam: it on the youtube so she is like okay well what i think is fake is how you know she puts off that kind of stuff out there but then she has this conversation with you phaedra about how she doesn't even believe her friend angela and that's just like um i'm sorry and she is uh yeah well And Phaedra says, long story short, she called me. And I said, the last time me and you talked was at the reunion. And Drew's like, yeah, well, the receipts weren't receding, which is, I told my friend that as well. I told Angela that. And Portia goes, well, receipts weren't receding means that you're questioning the receipts that your friend brought.

1:18:50Ben Mandelker: And Phaedra says that after the reunion, Drew came to her dressing room and said, hey, I want to get to know you. And I said, well, I don't really want to get to know people who've tried to frame me, you know, for the June bug thing and stuff like that. and that's when she says she didn't really agree with all the evidence basically phaedra saying that drew came up to her after the reunion and tried to separate herself from angela and be like oh i wasn't really part of that i didn't really want to be part of the whole june bug thing so but phaedra's like but why did you go along with it then if you didn't want to be part of it

1:19:19Ronnie Karam: yeah she says the girls do strange things for the change honey so shami is like so you don't think it's strange that your best friend thinks that your receipts aren't receding angela and And Charles is just watching this from the kitchen like, oh, geez. And Angela goes, I don't care. What I'm talking about is my husband. And Drew's like, Angela knows who I am. Everything that's being said, I've already said to Angela. So there's no secrets here. So Portia's dinging. She's like, okay, you guys are going to respect this thing like you do fire alarms, okay?

1:19:51Ben Mandelker: And Angela's like, but that shit lined up. It didn't make sense to me that your person came to me at the Hawks game, whether they told you what they did or not. So there was this, for those who don't remember, there was the story at the reunion where Angela says that this girl who was associated with Phaedra came up and was like, I'm the one with the hands. Like, watch out. Like, someone threatened her. And Phaedra's like, I had those tapes, Fran, and that person did not come near you. And I'm willing to show you the tapes.

1:20:17Ronnie Karam: Phaedra's so full of shit. And Kelly's like, wait, so she pulled the security tape and she can do that and hear what the person says? Oh, wow. She is a bad mamma jamma baby. me and Angela's like well I want to see the tapes then so could you get those tapes so the producer asked Phaedra do you have the tapes of the Hawks game and she's like well I well I didn't look at

1:20:38Ben Mandelker: the tape but I asked for the tapes to be reviewed so yes okay okay you just said you could show her the tapes Phaedra Phaedra's gonna Phaedra yes so they're talking over each other and And K. Michelle was like, I'm not doing this. She's having VH1 flashbacks, I suppose. And she was like, this is too much for me. And everyone's like, I want to see the tapes. I want to see the tapes. And K. Michelle was like, okay, I don't want to be here. So she basically was like, when I got invited to this party, I thought I was going to be here for, you know, for a bougie American and African house. Like, that's what the ladies would have, you know, I thought the ladies would have all their gowns on and real diamonds.

1:21:13Ben Mandelker: They would be drinking champagne and like trying, you know, some other shit, you know, like, but like, whatever, I'm going to go to the men. I don't even smoke cigars. But at this point, with all the cattiness, I just would rather choke on a cigar.

1:21:25Ronnie Karam: So she goes out to the men and the women are still going in there. And Kelly's like, can I just say one thing? And Portia goes, no. They're like, oh, geez. So Kelly gets all offended. And Portia goes, I just don't know if I like your questions, Kelly. And she's like, don't do that. Don't do that.

1:21:44Ben Mandelker: So Angela gets up and she goes to the guys now. And Kay Michelle goes over to the guys. She's like, yeah, they're all fancy as fuck. They're over there mad about every goddamn thing. So Angela's like, come on, Kay, we need you back inside. And she's like, no, I want peace. I just want to be loved. I'm going to be here with the men. So Kelly's like, Portia, what happened with you and Shamia on this text message? And she's like, whatever me and Shamia will talk about will be between me and Shamia. It's not between you. And that's it.

1:22:12Ronnie Karam: Yeah. And she's like, stop antagonizing me. And she's like, but I'm not Portia. listen, I promise I'm not antagonizing you. She goes, yeah, you're being a little extra here. So Portia's like, listen, what happens between me and Shamia is nobody else's business. Okay, that's it. So I'm speaking you, so now I'll speak about you and me and what you said in the press about me. Like, I don't think I should address that now after my drink and I don't want to sweep other stuff under the rug, but I can let it go for tonight. So she says that because it's her party, she's going to not yell at Drew or not yell at Kelly today.

1:22:45Ronnie Karam: So Portia's mad at Kelly now.

1:22:47Ben Mandelker: Yes, this is the new thing. And Pinky's like, whoa, you guys are crazy. So then Drew goes outside. People just slowly start trickling outside to where the guys are one by one, which is funny.

1:23:00Ronnie Karam: Because it is kind of like, okay, everybody, welcome back to the first day of work. Let's all fight. We're going to fight now. And it's just like, ugh.

1:23:08Ben Mandelker: No one really wants to. So then Mike, once everyone's out there, Mike's like, guys, guys, guys, I want to raise a toast. Okay, guys? As the man of the house, I just wanted to say thank you all for coming to my new home with my wife, who you saw we just got married. Thank you for coming. It's a pleasure and an honor to be an actor here for all of you guys. Thank you. And Portia's like, hold on, hold on, hold on. I want to hear my man, this man, speak. Now go on, boo. Give your speech.

1:23:36Ronnie Karam: And he's like, thank you for inviting us to your beautiful home, Portia. And through all the love and the imperfections tonight, black is beautiful. Oh, my God. he said thank you he said thank you can you hear him can you hear him does anybody have on any

1:23:50Ben Mandelker: airpods and everyone's like uh who is this guy who's acting like this is his house like this is kind of a weird moment that he's doing and uh they're like we don't really understand this and then they have like this funny thing where they like show like they're like oh my god where's simon simon where's flip the lights scare him away simon goes to simon watch out flip the lights

1:24:15Ronnie Karam: appear here and so portia's like wow i had a very successful first couples party with my fake boyfriend yeah in my ex-husband's unpaid for house thank you everyone's like kiss kiss portia

1:24:29Ben Mandelker: my kiss because you guys are a very real couple kiss and they're like like he's ready to kiss and She's like, ah, she's like, is not wanting to do this part of the show right here. So they do a little kiss. And it's like, yay, Portia and Mike forever.

1:24:49Ronnie Karam: And that's it. That's the end of our first episode. So we'll see. A lot of fakery going on. Just a lot of fakery going on. You got Portia's fake boyfriend. You got Drew's possibly fake boyfriend. And you've got the lady pretending she's doing really great when her restaurants are struggling in her house. They tried to take her house recently. You've got Angela pretending everything's still OK with Charles when Charles seems like he wants to cut and run. I mean, that's a lot of there's a lot of balls to juggle. That's for sure.

1:25:19Ben Mandelker: Yep. It's pretty standard Atlanta fare. So thanks, everyone, for being here. A great time. And we'll catch you on our next episode. And join us for crappy hour tonight. See you there. Bye. Bye. Watch what crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alison King. Our way is the Amber way. It's the foster and the furious. It's Amanda Foster. Whip up a meringue. It's Amanda E. Lemon. It's always automatic with Ashley auto. Put your hands together for Carly clap.

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1:27:28Ben Mandelker: Who, what, why, where and Gwen Pentland Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall We got our wish, it's Jen Plish My favorite Murdo, Karen McMurdo Let's get savage with Laura Wildman In the study with a candlestick, it's Leslie Peacock We're ride or die for Lisa Ryder Barron She's a whiz, it's Liz Sarthy Always killing it, it's Lola Alkalani Roger that, it's Marlis Rogers

1:27:53Ronnie Karam: The Incredible Edible Matthews Sisters. She Eases Our Woes, it's Melissa St. Rose. She's The Lady of the House, it's Rachel Sharouse. There's A Chance of Meatballs, it's Rebecca Cloud. She's Our Princess, it's Rebecca Prince.

1:28:08Ben Mandelker: Maximum Love for Sandy Maximoska. She's The Queen Bee, it's Sarah Lemke. We Cannot Tell a Lie, it's Sarah Talafson. Shannon, out of a can, and Anthony. Please Don't Stop, it's Solian Pop. Let's Take Off with Tam La Plane. Strike a pose, it's Tori Rose.

1:28:25Ronnie Karam: She ain't no shrinking Violet Kuchar. We love you guys.

1:28:48Ronnie Karam: She's the lady of the house, it's Rachel Sharaus.

1:28:54Thank you.

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