#3302 Summer House S10E10 Part One: Teed Off

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0:38Ben Mandelker: I was just looking on eBay where I go for all kinds of things I love, and there it was.

0:43Ronnie Karam: That hologram trading card. One of the rarest. The last one I needed for my set. Shiny like the designer handbag of my dreams. One of a kind. eBay had it. And now everyone's asking, ooh, where'd you get your windshield wiper? eBay has all the parts that fit my car. No more annoying. Just beautiful. Millions of finds, each with a story. eBay. Things people love.

1:26Ben Mandelker: Happens when there's so much that happens.

1:56Ronnie Karam: You get ad-free listening there. You get bonus episodes. We did a really fun episode this week of In the City. It's a preview of the new show, In the City, based on this one, or spun off of this one, Summer House. And that was a really fun one. We also did a free bonus for everybody to listen to. And that is with Daisy Keller and Mark McNamara of the Yacht Mess podcast. They were super fun to talk to. That was an hour interview or something. We just talked behind the scenes stuff about Below Deck. So check that out. That comes out today. And there is a free blog that comes out every week. Went back to the blogging roots.

2:34Ronnie Karam: I really love writing comedy blogs about TV. So we're doing it on the newsletter now. That's free every week. So just go sign up for free on Patreon and you'll get that in your emails. Okay. And that's that. Do you have anything you want to announce before we get to it?

2:49Ben Mandelker: I don't know. I don't have, I don't know if there's much to announce. I went to Reza's book signing.

2:55Ronnie Karam: Pregnancies, devastations. What'd you say?

2:58Ben Mandelker: Pregnancies, devastations. No pregnancies here. I went to Reza's book signing. He has a new book out called Memoirs of a Gay Shah, which is a very funny pun for a book, I have to say. That was at the Grove. And so I went to that. And I just have to say, you know, when Reza did his stand-up on Shah's The Sunset, it was famously so awful. And to this day, we are constantly, you know, citing it where he's like, Like, bitches, like, when people are driving, bitches be, like, so slow. It was just, like, so cringey. But I have to say, I have to give props to Reza. And I felt, like, compelled to do this because we've been shitting on his, like, stand-up for 10 years or so.

3:37Ben Mandelker: And he was so funny at his book signing. He was so funny. I was like, oh, I can see why someone said you should do stand-up. And then I see why also you fell for the trap. Because, of course, Bravo was only going to show your worst parts. But he was really funny. So I don't know why I felt really compelled to say that. Was he doing stand-up or was he reading from the book? No, he was just telling stories. So Crystal was the moderator, and Crystal Kung Minkoff, and she was the moderator, and he was telling these stories from his time largely on Chaza Sunset. But the stories, the way he would tell them, were so funny.

4:12Ben Mandelker: And he had literally the whole room cracking up. So it was, I don't know. I felt compelled to be like, you know like wow reza was funny guys reza was funny so there you go well there you go memories of a gay shop memory of a gay shop congratulations to reza yes okay let's get to

4:35Ronnie Karam: it summer house here we go season 10 episode 10 it's called tea time um this is uh an episode about men it's about men and how men feel things deeply yes very very deeply guys so let's Let's get ready for a men's feelings heavy episode of Summer House.

4:54Ben Mandelker: It's about men and how they feel things. But it's also about one specific woman who's very excited to join the cast of Summer House. And she can't contain herself. Good God, that Sabrina girl. Wow, she is ready to go.

5:12Ronnie Karam: Sabrina is ready. She's ready to go. She's a lot. And she forgot her plot. I mean, we've been setting up this whole season that Ben has not been dating you. He only dated you for a second. You fell in love too fast. Then he quote unquote broke up with you and came into the summer house totally single, has not been with you, just decided to get back with you this week. You can't come in here basically spilling the beans that you've been with him this whole time. And then he told me this and then he told me that and then he told me that you have been with this man the whole time. You fucking liar.

5:47Ronnie Karam: I love it. I love that she blew up Ben's spot immediately.

5:51Ben Mandelker: Yeah, right away. But speaking of spots, we're at Lindsay's spot. We're still at her housewarming party. For some reason, it feels like we've been here for four weeks, but it's actually only the second episode would be. And we're here. And Bailey has, Dara has just confronted Bailey about maybe stirring up some drama about her. And Dara is saying, you know, like it was really weird. I had just gone to the summer house and the energy was just like a little bit weird. Bailey was, I mean, KJ was hiding himself in the refrigerator. He was literally opening up the crisper and putting his foot inside, hoping he could shrink down in a moment and get right in there and hide behind a lettuce leaf.

6:28Ben Mandelker: And I was like, what is going on with you, KJ? It's just a little weird for me.

6:32Ronnie Karam: And where does me and my lack of the ability to flirt come into this? And Dara's like, well, you'd mentioned to Lindsay that when I was there that weekend, I was like alone in Ben's room for like an hour. She goes, well, were you not in Ben's room? and she goes, well, I mean, like I'd gone into his room because they put my suitcase in the room. So like I basically changed out of my costume and, you know, he did duck in at one point. So they changed this a little from last week because last week it ended with her saying, were you not in Ben's room? And she said, no, not at all. So I was like, well, is she a liar or what?

7:03Ronnie Karam: Because I wouldn't figure her for a liar. But then we come back this week and they of course changed the editing, but she's still a damn liar. She still lied. Yes, I guess there is a liar That is the answer

7:16Ben Mandelker: Yes, and so Bailey's like, oh, so the whole rhetoric I like that she says, the whole rhetoric Was that you guys did this, the whole rhetoric That you started, like, it was what you said Not the whole, it wasn't like This was happening in pop culture The whole rhetoric was that you and Ben were flirting And I didn't tell anybody you guys hooked up or anything Because I don't know what happened in that room Or didn't happen in that room, I just happened to advertise The fact that you went into a room for an hour And came out in a different outfit possibly had sex i didn't say the sex part but possibly you did have sex well they show the scene

7:46Ronnie Karam: of they show a flashback of the scene uh so that we know that ben that she's lying and she's in the entryway and she has her suitcase and ben's like well what's going on and she says i'm going to change into my normal people clothes you want to help me and he's like sure where are you going and she goes i guess the bathroom and he goes there's a room down here so she put her she's the one who put her luggage in ben's room um i don't know this is all fascinating what we're just going over you know tiny stuff that happens in every scene on summer house now just had to add that but yeah bailey's like whatever i don't know what happened in there and darren says well you know like in the moment it's like you know kj got his feelings hurt twofold because one i got defensive because i was like well we didn't hook up and i just i was testing the waters and she goes well you have every right to do that you know and she's like i'm sorry i would never try to hurt your new relationship with someone who's obsessed with refrigerators, you know?

8:42Ronnie Karam: Sorry.

8:43Ben Mandelker: Yeah. I would never try to sabotage your relationship. And she's like, and Bailey's like, you know, there just was like very clearly like a Ben and Darren moment happening. And then all of a sudden you were dating KJ and I was like, what's happening? Cause we forget there've been, I feel like there've been so many episodes and so much offscreen drama that it's only been like one week since Derek came to the house and like met Ben. And so basically cage, uh, what Bailey is saying is like, yeah, one weekend it seemed like you were flirting with Ben and then I come back and all of a sudden you're dating KJ really intensely so I was like whoa what's going on she's like I thought they were vibing right and like you know and I thought they were in love and like look she's like I may be dramatic but I'm not a liar I mean I might fluff it a little bit but I would never lie like but fluffing is kind of lying but that's okay so Dara's like yeah I mean like I was I was having like a flirty day like that's all it was I was having a flirty day because I was testing the waters.

9:35Ben Mandelker: She goes, well, I'm glad that you can admit that because Ben said that you weren't flirting and he said there was nothing. And so now Dara gets upset. Dara gets upset that Ben won't admit that they had chemistry. And I like that. So basically, the situation of Dara's whole concern is, I am so mad that my relationship with KJ is being undermined by the fact that Ben can't admit that we have chemistry. Yeah, one minute she's

10:04Ronnie Karam: She's like, how dare you say that I was in there, like, flirting with Ben? I wasn't. I was just changing clothes. What do you mean Ben says he's not flirting with me? We have definite chemistry. She changed it really quick. She's like, well, don't insult me. I mean, that's insane. And she's, okay, well, thank you. So then we see the flashback to last weekend on the porch with Ben Bailey and Amanda West and Jesse. And Bailey's like, you know, I think Ben and Dara may have fallen in love. And Amanda's like, did you fall in love with her? And he's like, no, we were just drinking and playing games.

10:36Ronnie Karam: And that was it.

10:39Ben Mandelker: So Dara's like, I just feel like that day was just like fun. And it's fun, flirty day. And so for Ben to say that we didn't have chemistry is just so odd. I mean, what a strange thing to need to lie about. Oh, my goodness. I am so mad. And I can't believe that Ben denying our chemistry might undermine my new chemistry with KJ.

10:58Ronnie Karam: So silly. They're just like, we're new. We need something to happen. Now let's make this happen. I can do this. I can do this. So now Ben walks in with this lady he's been dating. And Dara's like, oh, speak of the devil. There's Ben. And he's like, hello, everybody. This is my completely just got back together with girlfriend, Sabrina. And Lindsay's like, um, hi. And she's like, oh, my God. Hi. I've heard the best things about you. Oh, my God. These are for you, Lindsay. They're flowers. Oh, my gosh. Thank you so much for having me in your home. Is that a piano?

11:38Ronnie Karam: You know that that girl is the type of girl to go start banging on somebody's piano and playing chopsticks. Oh, 100%.

11:46Ben Mandelker: She's like, I love piano. Oh my God, Lindsay, I got you a sandwich. Here's a sandwich. I know you love sandwiches so much. I hope you enjoy it. Thank you so much for having me in your home. You seem so wonderful. I love everything I hear about you. It's like, whoa, Sabrina. Settle down.

12:02Ronnie Karam: Now we go back to Darren Bailey and Bailey's like, well, I'm sure that he's going to say that he never said any of that, that I'm being dramatic, but whatever. No, no, no, no. If he wants to rewrite history that he was never interested in me, then by all means, he hasn't met Boxing Dara.

12:18Ben Mandelker: Well, he just downplayed it and I was like, that's not what was happening. He was interested in you. They all were. He's like, yeah, you know what? They all get our feelings hurt when you get rejected. So then we go back to Sabrina and she's like, now she's going up she's talking to like jesse and kyle she's like oh my god i've been dying to meet you i heard you were just the coolest jesse i hear you sing so good like oh my god like so great to meet you

12:43Ronnie Karam: oh my god and you kyle wow and he's like so jesse's like so when did you guys meet because we met in march then it's like and uh then after that uh uh reconnected right right and then here you are right because we marched but then many many months passed and then here you are again right just yeah here we are where else would we be man we're here we're here looking at the kyle cook lover boy you are so great i love your commercials i mean i've never seen a commercial well every time you're on tv it's a commercial basically you're so good what happened to your mullet i loved your mullet i wish you had your mullet so i could like take a little clip of it and put it in my purse congrats on the jd love that mullet congrats on your jd vance meme that

13:26Ben Mandelker: It's so funny because you are like you're 43. You're older than the vice president, but you look so young. Oh, my God. You're so famous.

13:33Ronnie Karam: Oh, it's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappens commercial.

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15:43Ronnie Karam: Delicious. I've had so many positive changes since I started drinking these. Energy, digestion, strength, metabolism, cognition. I mean, look, anybody who's listened to this show has thought Ronnie needs to work on that cognition. Well, I have with cachava.

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16:30Ronnie Karam: Try Cachava risk-free with their Love It Guarantee. There's so many rave reviews, thousands of them in fact. You're going to love it.

16:37Ben Mandelker: Treat yourself to the flavor and nutrition your body craves, go to cachava.com and use code CRAPINS for 15 % off your first order. That's cachava. K-A-C-H-A-V-A dot com. Code CRAPINS. So Ben is like, when I reached out to Sabrina to let her know that I'm thinking of her, she was very open because she was sitting right next to me in bed. We'd just woken up together. And so I said, yeah, I feel pretty special, you know, that she was willing to give me another chance because basically I said, hey, I'm on Summer House now. And then like there was a dust cloud and she appeared at my front door. So it was pretty amazing.

17:17Ben Mandelker: And but now I'm really nervous because look at me. I'm nervous Ben. I'm shy Ben. Remember this storyline, guys? It's back. I'm shy. And I don't know what to say in these situations.

17:29Ronnie Karam: Yeah, Jesse's like, well, I mean, she's pretty nice and I like her energy. But, you know, I'm just so hung up on like how quickly they're jumping back. I mean, I thought they'd probably been hooking up this whole time. And then Ben said he wasn't seeing anybody when he has a secret girlfriend. I mean, potentially. I mean, that's a good theory.

17:49Ben Mandelker: It's a good theory. Even Jesse is onto it. Although Jesse's not anyone who's allowed to talk about people moving too quickly into things. So Mia's boyfriend.

17:59Ronnie Karam: Jesse and West, the two fakest, phoniest, like doing this for a storyline guys on this show. So they can, you know, take someone to know one.

18:09Ben Mandelker: Yeah. So Mia's boyfriend, Scott, is there. They all meet Scott. And Mia's happy because, you know, he's always traveling. And she's always, you know, everyone's always like, where's Scott? Where's Scott? Where's Scott? She's like, he's in LA. He's in Miami, whatever. So it's like really exciting to have him there. And she's like, oh, my God, I feel like a normal person. I feel like I'm in a normal relationship. And then we see Lindsay and Dara and Levi and Bailey. Poor Levi. This is, I feel like, going to be the last time we see her. because normally when people don't show up to the summer house, they at least get the perfunctory, oh, she has a wedding.

18:42Ben Mandelker: Oh, she has... No, this week when they go back to the house, they don't even explain where Levi is. Levi's just... She's just faded into our memories at this point. This is the end, guys. Oh, Levi.

18:54Ronnie Karam: They're just taking the I out of your name. Now you're just leave. So Lindsay's like, every time I see the three of you talking, there's like hands flying. Like, what was the drama over there? And she's like, oh, we're just talking about boys. And, oh, by the way, everybody, I went to lunch with Carl. A totally believable storyline. Now, someone who's totally not doing something for a storyline, I went and had lunch voluntarily with Carl. Very exciting person. And Lindsay's like, two thumbs down, two thumbs down, two thumbs down.

19:27Ben Mandelker: And she's like, oh, that's so funny because that's what I told Carl on our date. Oh, well, not really a date, but I said, this is what you think of him. And I did the whole thing. It was hilarious. Yeah. Okay, well, that's fine. Like, I hope you're enjoying it. And basically, Lindsay was, we've seen the flashback that Lindsay told Billy, yeah, go on a date with Carl. Like, you should. Like, he needs it. I'm sure she did.

19:46Ronnie Karam: I love you. I don't want to date your ex-fiancee. That's crazy. And she's like, I do not care. So now, Lindsay's like, well, have you been out since then? And she goes, well, we've been texting, but no. And so they agree. The ball's in his court. And Lindsay's like, um, you should send him a sexy nude photo. of stripes.

20:08Ben Mandelker: Stripes, yes. Tan lines. All tan lines. Nothing but tan lines. So Bailey's like, that's crazy. So then Dara and KJ are enjoying a drink together, which is a fascinating scene.

20:24Ronnie Karam: I mean, the chemistry is just crazy here. So she goes, hi, can I have a sip of the drink? And he's like, I haven't even sipped it. You haven't? No, but go ahead. you can sip it but do you want to ladies first oh my god just they're gonna write a movie about

20:41Ben Mandelker: these two i'm telling you right now wow ben's chemistry could never even compete so sierra's talking to kyle and she's like how are you doing your chest is out tonight he's like oh that's amanda i'm like is it too much she's like no she's like well yeah we're in new york and speaking of Amanda. Now she's talking to Mia and Scott and Amanda's like, oh my god, Kyle we're all gonna go on a date together. Me and Sierra, me and Scott and then you can come. He's like, oh, fifth wheel? No. No. Because he thinks that Sierra's the fifth wheel but the couples and she's like, no, you're the fifth wheel Kyle.

21:17Ben Mandelker: He's like, ha. That's funny. That's real.

21:22Ronnie Karam: Kyle's like, yeah, I'm in pretty high spirits because Amanda and I agreed to go to couple therapy, so things should work out. So we see a flashback to Kyle saying, how come we're not putting in the work? Would you go to couples therapy? Because you're gone six months in a row. She's like, yeah, let's end, Kyle. So Kyle's like, yeah, something I had to literally break for us to agree to go to couples therapy. Like, I'll take the full responsibility of breaking it. Like, I said, fuck you. I feel horrible, but, but. It's always the Kyle, but. The Kyle, but. I'm feeling hopeful. We're going to make the most of the weekend.

21:57Ronnie Karam: So then Carl is now with Bailey, Ben, and Sabrina chatting. And he's like, oh, hey, Bailey, can I get a hug? Yeah. Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. Okay, okay. Softer. Please, it's a little softer. No, no, a little harder. I can't feel you now. Okay. Oh, God, oh, God. My tongue's about to pop out of my mouth. A little softer.

22:19Ben Mandelker: A little softer. I can't even feel it. I can't feel it. A little harder now?

22:22Ronnie Karam: Okay, oh, God, oh, God.

22:23Ben Mandelker: A little bit harder now. A little bit softer now. A little bit softer now. A little bit harder now, a little bit harder now. You make me, you make me wanna, what is that?

22:35Ronnie Karam: You make me want, you make me wanna soft. Shout softly though.

22:41Ben Mandelker: You know what I call talking? Soft talking, soft shouting. So Bailey, they're talking about drinks, whatever. And Carl's got like a virgin margarita, et cetera. and he's like, so last weekend, I had my little scooter and I had my outfit on. Wasn't that crazy? You should see this photo. Here's a photo of me as an old man. And she's like, oh my gosh. Yeah, I stuffed my underwear with some functional mushrooms. So enjoy.

23:07Ronnie Karam: Yeah, you know, Bailey's beautiful and she's like very funny and she's got a great personality, but like I'm still taking it slow. And the voice in the back of my head is like, oh, put your right on me. Put your right on me. He wants to be careful hooking up in the house. So then we see a clips of Carl just, you know, over the years making out with the twin and then fighting with the twin. Then a twin throwing a watermelon at him and then making out with Paige in a pantry, which I'm sure Paige loved. She's like, oh, my God, please just leave me alone. Paige accusing him of only taking her out Friday through Sunday.

23:48Yeah.

23:49Ben Mandelker: Yeah. And so we just basically get like all of Carl's greatest hits. Just in case anyone forgot that Carl does have a strong background in being a fuck boy. And like, let's not forget. People do forget. People have totally forgotten.

24:04Ronnie Karam: Oh, my God. Carl. Why isn't Carl on in the city? Because Carl doesn't have anything going on. OK, that is why Carl is not on in the city. But don't worry, he's going to try and he's going to try and make it happen today. So God bless him.

24:19Ben Mandelker: So now Sabrina, she hits the mother load. She gets to finally meet Sierra and she's as chill as you can imagine. Oh my God, I've been dying to meet you. Oh my God, oh my God, you're just stunning. You're so beautiful. Oh my God, I heard the best things about you. Like you're so good. Oh my God, he told me all about you. And I was just like, she is my person. But like, no, seriously, you obviously are like so aesthetically beautiful, but like internally you're like a star and like I'm very sensitive to energy and you were so good on the traders. I just wanted you to win. Why did they do that to you?

24:47Ben Mandelker: Okay, I'm so sorry about those graveyard things. That was like so unfair. Like what they just assume that like what if you guys was a traitor? It wasn't that didn't have to be that way like so when I meet someone I'm obsessed with it like it doesn't happen often I'm just like you're a star. You're a star. Oh my god. Are we already best friends? This is working out so perfectly

25:01Ronnie Karam: You're so amazing like internally too like I'm so into your larynx. It's like

25:10Ben Mandelker: Oh my god, I just did an emotional colonoscopy on you and it's beautiful in there

25:16Ronnie Karam: your digestive track is sparkling sparkling she's like okay okay can i cut off a piece of your hair no you you cannot please back away from me so lindsey's like um ding ding ding ding ding everybody hi it's me lindsey i have a piano now thank you thank you okay everybody you can sit down okay um i really hate giving speeches the editors are like yeah right so they put in clips of lindsey giving speeches clink clink clink clink clink so now we get uh clips of lindsey giving speeches over the years so everybody basically braces for the next 20

25:53Ben Mandelker: minutes of their lives um i'm just like excited to start the next chapter of my life with jemma girl in this big beautiful palace that i have for like my little princess we're gonna shoot a lot of great scenes for the spinoff and maybe some of you will be lucky enough to be in it yvonne i'm Look at you, girl. Can't wait to fight with you. Anyway, just a new energy for everyone. And, you know, for everyone who's been in my last apartment, which I once shared with my ex-fiance. It's like cut to Carl. I'll be like, oh, okay. Thanks. Yeah, now I'm in the apartment. Scott goes, wait, who's the ex-fiance?

26:28Ben Mandelker: And he's like standing right next to Carl. I was like, who's that? He's like, oh, shit, sorry. It's Carl.

26:34Ronnie Karam: Yeah, but I do have a lot of old friends here and have a lot of new friends here and one extremely old ex-fiancé. He's over there. That's Carl. He looks old. That's Carl, by the way, everybody. Right there.

26:45Ben Mandelker: Hi. Yeah, it's me. Put you in on me.

26:49Ronnie Karam: Carl, I'm so glad you got up the stairs because you couldn't get it up for the last two years I was with you. So that's Carl, everybody. That's Carl.

26:59Ben Mandelker: All right. Well, I guess we'll disregard the fact that I got your daughter a book about New York City because she was born in New York City. So, fine.

27:09Ronnie Karam: Yeah. But anyway, thank you for being here, everybody. And that's it. They're like, what? That's a Lindsay speech? Is she feeling okay? My God. So, Carl leaves. He's like, I gotta go. I gotta go. Pretend I didn't hear that I couldn't get it up for two years. Okay. See you later, baby. It's a long day of soft tomorrow.

27:33Ben Mandelker: Long day of soft. so she's like oh my god i touched him i touched carl physical contact engaged levi's like that was good you know that was really good flirting bailey that meant levi that was bailey i mean i'm levi i'm so confused i'm drunk and bailey's like i just want to eat shrimp and die alone this is too much for me i can't handle it levi's like yeah so scott leaves too and um then bailey uh invites sabrina to come join them and bailey goes hey do you want to come join the girls because yes yes Yes, yes, some people I know. Oh my God, I'm such a big fan of yours. You really aren't it girl.

28:07Ben Mandelker: Oh my God. Does that mean I'm an it girl too? Are we it girl? Are we they girls? Like what is this? Oh my God.

28:14Ronnie Karam: Hi, I'm Dara by the way. I bully men for fun. So we're just lamenting about being cry babies. What do you think about that? She's like, oh my God, it's so good to cry. I fucking love crying. You know, last time I cried season finale last year, wasn't that so sad? I was like, are they coming back? Oh God, I hope these friendships can repair each other.

28:34Ben Mandelker: so amanda's like oh no i you know i wake up and every morning i tell kyle how i'm feeling

28:40Ronnie Karam: and um i'm sure you do yeah

28:47Ronnie Karam: kyle i hate you get out of bed

28:52Ben Mandelker: and uh yeah i mean i'm gonna be like really forward i honestly i'm dying to know what's happening relation-wise because ben he just like told me bits and pieces but like you deserve true love and if that is like that's a great like but if not like you need to fucking find it you know like you deserve someone who appreciates you for you amanda i'm like what this is such an overstep i'm sorry like you don't even know that this person like obviously this obviously sabrina's watched her on tv but like why are you saying this to her right now you just met her she's a

29:24Ronnie Karam: weirdo and amanda's like well i mean has ben been like journaling about us the whole summer and filling this girl in and we didn't even know like why does she know so much it's weird so she's like oh my god i just want you to be happy and that's it just be happy amanda okay you deserve this you deserve this it's been 10 years oh my god i remember you in that hot tub i was so sad for you

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32:15Ben Mandelker: so now the party is over and we go to north carolina because we're going to go visit the house that sierra just bought from you know from her grandparents and um we see it she's talking about how the house has been in her family forever and it's the only house she knew and growing up that they moved around a whole bunch um but this was the house that was always permanent and that they would always come to so she's in there this architect and interior designer come in and they are going to come and like scan the house and come up with ideas. Yeah, it looks cool.

32:47Ronnie Karam: I hope we get to see the whole thing being remodeled. It's got good bones. Good. It does. It's really cool actually, because it is mid century. I mean, every single, nothing in there has been touched like all the original cabinetry and stuff. So I wonder what she's going to do to it.

33:03Ben Mandelker: I hope she keeps the wood paneling. I feel like that would be like a, like a, a lovely nod to the, the home's origins. I know that's like very dated looking, but I kind of, I do enjoy that wood. I enjoy wood paddling. It's nostalgic for me. I am like a house hunters cliche. It's like, well, I grew up in a house like this. Actually, I didn't even grow up in a house with wood paddling. I just went to houses that had wood paddling. I always liked it. It's always cozy, you know, like a TV room with like wood paddling and a carpet, you know, and a nice sofa. Like that's the dream, I think.

33:33Ronnie Karam: Yeah. Yeah, I have a house like that. I just put wood walls up over it. Like instead of like an ode to it, you know, but there's so much cool stuff she can do. I want to see. So then, um, we are in New York and it's Tuesday and we see Bailey on the phone with her dad. And, uh, he's like, well, how's the coolest girl in New York doing on each? Like great. Well, I watched it girl, the Scarlett Johansson one. Wow. That was super cool. Both of your, both of your skin looks really good.

34:02Ben Mandelker: He's what a good dad. I know. She's like, thanks. I'm just going to pause right now, dads. That way the producers can show a clip of me interviewing Scarlett Johansson and raise my profile a little bit on the show. And hold on. They're just about to roll it. One second, dad. Me and ScarJo. Okay. ScarJo married to NBCU's very own Colin Jost. So this should be no problem. Okay, dad. One second. This will just make me look a little bit cooler because I'm sort of on the low end of the totem pole on this cast. So I just want to have some, you know, celebrity association, dads. They're going to show that clip right now.

34:33Ben Mandelker: Right? Okay, dad. They're not showing it.

34:35Ronnie Karam: I think she should change her branding because it girl is too, it's too much of a saying already. Yeah. It's like a cliche and everyone says it and no one's ever going to find you just Googling it girl. Cause I just Googled it girl, Scarlett Johansson and it's like Scarlett Johansson is the quintessential it girl. And then all the articles are Scarlett Johansson, Scarlett Johansson, it girl, Scarlett Johansson, but none of them are the interview, you know,

35:00Ben Mandelker: Scarlett Johansson's like, I thought I was going to be interviewed about fixing your computer's motherboard. Isn't this the IT girl podcast?

35:09Ronnie Karam: It's like, I really came in here prepared to teach people about HTML. But whatever.

35:16Ben Mandelker: Oh, so you don't have issues with the firewall? So you don't have a spinning beach ball? Why am I here? I really wanted to show America this other side of me, but that's fine. I'll just go back to preparing Colin's old IBM from 1987. Do you have any makeup tips? Do not auto update.

35:37Ben Mandelker: Girl, let me tell you this. This is how to get ahead in the industry. Do not update to Apple Glass. It is the worst thing in the world. Okay, good luck. That was my IT tip. It is the worst, by the way. I just want to say, I hate with a passion the current iOS and OS systems on Macs. I think they're terrible. and I need to use this platform for good. So consider that word being put out there. It's not the iOS. iOS is your phone. Oh, you hate them both? I'm saying, that was intentional. It's the iOS and the OS.

36:12Ronnie Karam: So how come? What do you hate about them?

36:14Ben Mandelker: I think they move things into counterintuitive places. Like if you want to share, it used to be that if you're on your phone and you wanted to share a webpage with someone, you would just press on the bottom screen, the send button and then like it would say like right away be like copy but now you've got to hit one button and then from there you got to go another button and then from there another button and that's just a copy a link and then if you want to like go to a different tab you have to hit one button then you got go bookmarks you got to do this and this it's like i feel like that's with everything with it now i feel like everything has so many more clicks in pursuit of them creating this visual that's like oh it's glass i'm like i don't care i don't need it to look like glass like give me fewer clicks function please function i want it to look like wood paneling

37:04Ronnie Karam: and i want to be able to share this shit easily okay so now um something i think that really needs to be uh gotten rid of along with that design is jesse singing career here we go jesse is in an actual recording studio which i was surprised at i thought he was probably you know but you know home producing or whatever but no he's in a producing studio with the producer we listened to a little bit of his uh latest song on crappy hour this week and um he's like i just

37:33Ben Mandelker: love being me i think i'll just be me like oh gosh oh gosh it's just it's like it's like worse than you can imagine are you barney you know and we've given credit like there have been bravo celebrities that we haven't loved, but they come out with a good song. We always give credit to a good song. We always do. We always do. This one is just so bad. And he's in there singing in the booth and the producer's acting like it's fricking Eminem and eight mile. And the guy's like, yeah. Oh man, this is hot. You're all on fire. And he's like, I think I'll choose. Be me.

38:10Ronnie Karam: I'm like, oh God. Well, we didn't even see. I mean, what we basically saw was him lifting his phone just going into a mic and be like, hey hey hey and they're like great oh my god that was fucking amazing okay see you

38:27Ben Mandelker: so um now we go to paris cafe where lindsey and amanda arrive and amanda's like how are we ladies on this fine day it's getting chilly out i'm like it's august it's mid-august amanda don't Gaslight. Please stop trying to segue me into in the city, okay? I am still in my summer vibes.

38:47Ronnie Karam: Oh my god, waiter, what's your name? Paolo from Colombia. I know Paolo from Colombia. It was a really nice night. And he's like, I hope it was good. She's like, it was good. So, Amanda's like, can I just get you a fucking salad? God.

39:09Ben Mandelker: It was Kyle's birthday on Monday, and like, oh, sorry. So Amanda do you remember that it was Kyle's birthday on Monday Um yeah it was Kyle's birthday on Monday And honestly I kind of forgot it was his birthday And I was like so tired And I had such a bad headache So I asked if he could just like walk the dogs And I probably should have woke up and said Happy birthday can you walk the dogs But instead it was like my head hurts Can you please walk the dogs So I'm assuming that Kyle had a bad reaction to that which is funny because he is going to get dinged for forgetting, um, a significant thing in Carl's life later in the episode.

39:47Ben Mandelker: But, um, I also think that like, like Amanda's telling the story, like, whoops, I forgot. I'm like, well, you forgot your husband's birthday. Like, I mean, I don't, I don't know if you're under an obligation to say happy birthday as soon as someone wakes up, but she's acting like, wow, what a baby. Like I forgot, like what a big deal. I'm like, I think you should remember the birthday of the person that you are married to or in a relationship with.

40:12Ronnie Karam: Well, she also just threw him a huge party. So, like the day before. So, yeah. I mean, there is that too. I mean, and a dinner or whatever. Like there was, so, yeah. I mean, I don't know. So, is this whole episode I'm going to be saying that? So, Amanda's like, oh my God, things will get better because we even agreed to go to therapy. And like, if I can't pay you to fix it, then like, what am I even doing? Yeah, that's not how that works. so they get drinks and they cheers and Amanda is asking about Scott and she's like did you ever go through with that contract thing and Lindsay's like what contract and Mia two weeks ago was saying she has a contract where he can only be gone 10 days at a time

40:59Ben Mandelker: and then we see like a flashback to other contracts we've seen on the show and Amanda's like this is why me and I are so close. So Lindsay's like, so you want a contract for someone? And you can just sort of see Lindsay doing like a beautiful mind math in her eyes. Like I could have been writing contracts for all these men, all these years, even for every one. She's like, how did I never think of this? I'm so busy demanding PowerPoints and doing timelines that I never thought I could just contractually obligate someone to love me.

41:33Ronnie Karam: Yeah. And Amanda's like, well, you know, It looked rough when you said it, Lindsay. Because Lindsay's like, I follow questions. Have you talked about a timeline? Like, do you like timelines? I love timelines. And then we see a flashback to five summers ago where Lindsay had that insane timeline. Yeah. And she's asking if they've talked about marriage and kids. And Mia says, yeah, because both of her parents passed away. And they're like, oh, my God, I'm sorry. She goes, no, no, it's okay. Because she's talked about it a lot, I'm sure. and she's saying that it's different because she doesn't have like a village to help her raise her kids and so him being gone so long at a time is even more triggering for her.

42:12Ronnie Karam: This is not going to work.

42:14Ben Mandelker: I am a little concerned. I'm a little concerned but they've been together for many years so I think that is a good sign but I am a little concerned because she seems like she really does want that person and yeah, the flags, I would say there's like a yellow flag for me because like the fact that they've gone through years and have made it work this far is good but we've also seen that long distance relationships on Summer House have a 100 % failure rate whether it's like Paige and Craig whether it's Danielle and the chef whether it's Amanda and Kyle doing long distance emotionally but I think yeah I think that's a tough one and I like that Lindsay was like listening and when Lindsay listens she like squints her eyes and like puts her head forward and Mia's like whoa whoa whoa what's wrong and she's like no no that's just how she listens she has an aggressive listening face don't you worry she really does she's like I'm listening

43:14Ronnie Karam: tell me everything it's like oh my god your eyes are boring into my head so Mia talks about how she has very strange cards dealt to her in life she lost her dad when she was 22 and then her mom died a year and a half ago and um that was her best friend and so she's saying you know like i have to work twice as hard now at work and then so does he and we're gonna have to pay because we have to pay for a village you know because we don't have anyone there like to help us yeah i just i think if you want someone there it can't be someone who's like a chef who's never going to be there because it's always going to be another restaurant you know that's the thing the restaurant

43:56Ben Mandelker: people. That's rough. There's also like a 100 % failure rate with restaurant people on Bravo and Normies. Again, Danielle and her guy, she really covers all the bases with types of failures in a relationship. But look at all the Vanderpump rules. In every

44:14Ronnie Karam: career too, which is weird.

44:18Ben Mandelker: There's a 100 % failure rate of relationships that involve Danielle. I mean, example one, Danielle and her relationships.

44:26Ronnie Karam: speaking of 100 % failure rates, Danielle. So Mia's like, oh my God, you know, I'm just like, I'm scared I'm going to be over 45 without kids and like just have an amazing career. And I mean, that would be fine if I didn't want kids, but I do want kids. And she's talking to Amanda, who's just like got this like glazed stare in her eye. She's like, yeah, because you know, Amanda's gone through this too. And so she's like, I feel like a baby would heal me. No, that's not how babies work. Babies don't heal scabs. They open them and then they dig into them and then they widen them until you're bleeding all over the floor.

45:07Ben Mandelker: I say watch The Valley and then see how much healing you've seen on that show. And then you can come back and give us a revised opinion. Thanks.

45:15Ronnie Karam: The Valley should be birth control for anybody who's watching that show. I wonder if they could do like a sample size audience poll and just see how much the birth rate has gone down amongst people who have watched The Valley.

45:31Ben Mandelker: I think 160%. That's what I hope. The success of babies healing people is actually lower than people dating Danielle at this point.

45:46Ronnie Karam: Congratulations, you've reached the end of part one of a two-part recap. For part two, go look for the recap that says, Part two. See you over there, suckers.

45:58Ben Mandelker: Watch what Crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alison King. Our way is the Amber way. It's the Foster and the Furious. It's Amanda Foster. Whip up a meringue. It's Amanda E. Lemon. It's Always Automatic with Ashley Otto. Put your hands together for Carly Clapp. Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt.

46:17Ronnie Karam: She's not just a Sheila. She's a Daniela. Etch-o's. We never miss her call. It's Diane Call. Sunday in the Park with Dylan Clark

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47:49Ben Mandelker: Who, what, why, where, and Gwen. Pentland. Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall. We got our wish. It's Jen Plisch. My favorite Murdo, Karen McMurdo. Let's get savage with Laura Wildman. In the study with a candlestick, it's Leslie Peacock. We're ride or die for Lisa Ryder Barron. She's a whiz. It's Liz Sarthy. Always killing it. It's Lola Alkalani. Roger that. It's Marlis Rogers.

48:14Ronnie Karam: The incredible edible Matthews sisters. She eases our woes. It's Melissa St. Rose. She's the lady of the house. It's Rachel Chiraus. There's a chance of meatballs. It's Rebecca Cloud. She's our princess.

48:26Ben Mandelker: It's Rebecca Prince. Maximum love for Sandy Maximoska. She's the queen bee. It's Sarah Lemke. We cannot tell a lie. It's Sarah Tell of Sun. Shannon out of a cannon Anthony. Please don't stop. It's Soli and Pop. Let's take off with Tam La Plaine. Strike a pose. It's Tori Rose.

48:45Ronnie Karam: She ain't no shrinking Violet Kuchar. We love you guys.

49:08Ronnie Karam: She's the lady of the house. It's Rachel Shiraus.

49:23Thank you.

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