#3307 RHOBH S15E17: Anti Cover Coven

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1:23Hello, and welcome to my book, Unburned! Welcome to Watch What Crabbins. It's Ronnie and Ben. How are you guys? How are you, Ben? I'm great, thanks. How are you doing, Ronnie? Sagad. Ben and I went to a pizza party last night, so we are full of carbs. Yeah, we did. We had to talk half an hour before this even started just to get the carbs through the bloodstream. God, it felt good.

1:51Ben Mandelker: That felt good. It was wild. Thank you, Patreon, for giving us a little pizza party last night. It was amazing. I am full of carbs and sodium at the moment, but it was all worth it. Yeah, we got to hang out with Laura from Sex Unique Podcast, one of our favorite people and podcasts. So that was so fun to see her. What a fun night. So anyway, welcome to the show today, everybody. It's Real Housewives of Boobily Hool's Day. And if you want this on video, as usual, go over to Patreon. That's where the videos are. that's where you get them day of. So go over to Patreon for that. That's also where you get bonus episodes.

2:28This week is a really fun recap of the in the city preview called this trailer trashes. So that's out right now. Last week was survivor. That was really fun too. And so bonus episodes, you get ad free listening there. If you don't want to listen to ads, that's how you do it. Also you get discord server. It's a fun place to talk to each other, talk about the shows. and there is a free weekly recap blog that, all right, it's super fun and that's free. So if you want that, just go sign up at Patreon for the newsletter. It's called Read What Crappens, okay? And today, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, season 15, episode 17, drama on the dance floor.

3:14Ben Mandelker: So much drama because where we left off, it was rachel's studio 54 birthday bash like literally be like andy warhol and just like be dead in pittsburgh somewhere because that's what's happening at this party oh my god so um everyone is there in her backyard in rachel's backyard for the studio 54 bash and um specifically there are a lot of virgos because a lot of this party is her being like oh my god where are my virgos Virgos come over here Virgos yeah Virgos are here okay I got my Virgos yeah all the Virgos come here for a picture and I don't know like when a bunch of Virgos get together and it's like Amanda in the group because I'm a Virgo you know I was like god damn it why don't I get Amanda on my side I mean I guess I got a Rachel too but I don't know why don't I get like a Bose or you know Vanderpump something like that I get Amanda I know I don't know I wonder which Bravo lebs are Sagittarius's.

4:14Ben Mandelker: Let me ask. Which Bravo lebs are Sagittarius? Come on, give me something good. Ooh, Nini Leakes, Sonia Morgan, Candice Dillard, and Bronwyn Windham Burke. So it looks like I hit the check line. No wonder you're always sticking up for Bronwyn, no matter what. Dorinda. Dorinda too. I love my fellow Sag housewives. This is wonderful. So you would definitely do that at your birthday? Yeah. I'd bring them all up that's kind of I mean that's a very it's a very loud group oh my god my group is not great well I do have Vanderpump so I did get that wish so that's good okay listen to who else I have Caroline Manzo oh god they're all people that I yell at really on the show if you think about it listen to this lineup this is crazy the disappointment in your well who wants like Manzo as their first option you know Okay, Caroline Manzo, Giselle Bryant, who, you know, Giselle's funny and stuff, but God knows I've yelled at Giselle over the years on this show.

5:19Leah, who's like the darkest energy of Bravo. Leah, what's her buns? McSweeney. Nicole from Real Housewives of Miami, who, you know, but fine. Kim, Kim Richards.

5:37Camille Grammer. Sutton. and Tamara Barney.

5:43Ben Mandelker: Yes, bitch! Wow. That's pretty big. That's a good... You know, you have some more chill people there, but you have some really big names. The fact that you have Tamara and Caroline Manzo is hilarious. Isn't that funny? The first comment... This is a Reddit post from two years ago that I found on the internet. The first comment says, As a fellow Virgo, what a group of hell beasts and demons. Mostly complimentary. wait a second i just i just want to say also that on reddit they had someone put up a uh a three by three grid of other um this is a year ago of other bravo lebs who are sagittarius's um in addition to the ones i mentioned there's also adriana demora there's lisa barlow uh garcelle meredith marks and mia from potomac so god the sagittarius pool is really strong yes yeah it really is Yeah, it really is.

6:40Okay, so getting into it, the women are all at the house for her birthday party. And people are taking pictures. Like Kyle, Seth, and Amanda, and Natalie are all taking a group picture. And Dorit's like, whatever. She's just at the bar being bitter. Like, can I have a belfidier with 18 lemons without the rinds on them? But squeeze the rinds and then shave the rinds into the glass and then remove the rinds again and then filter the drink. One thing is for sure. Conquer seats!

7:13Ben Mandelker: With all the shit that I'm going through, I should be looking forward to seeing my friends and getting a strong sense of support that I need. But instead, I have to deal with Kyle and her army of soldiers, and I'm just waiting for someone to hand them all matching uniforms. I'm like, you know you were one of those soldiers. You were the general. Yes. Don't act like you're surprised by this. Yes, you're a defector, but you are one of the soldiers. and you didn't really even defect. You're kind of getting kicked out. So now at the bar, Nico's just hanging out with Dorit, which is so cute, you know, because he's like the only one who will talk to Dorit.

7:47But he's hanging out with her and he's like, oh my God, that Kelly. And she goes, oh my God, I knew, I knew. Don't tell Kyle it's on the table. She'll sue me.

7:58Ben Mandelker: So Kyle sits down with Sutton and they're like, they see Dorit from afar. And they're like, oh my God, awkward, awkward. And Sutton goes, okay, she's here. What are you going to do? What are you going to do? Well, I mean, like, honestly, like, at this point, I'm like, I don't know. Like, I don't know. It's kind of hard to watch, honestly. Like, yeah, I mean, like, listen, we've argued. We've disagreed. We've hurt each other's feelings. We've both been in Halloween movie franchises. Actually, that was just me. Sorry. We've both been in ER. Just me again. We both had a TV show on the Spike Network.

8:28Ben Mandelker: No, that was, I think, just me. Was that my Paramount Network? Whatever it is, I guess I'm the successful one. But that night was really the worst. The worst. Oh my God, call Nashville 911. So she's telling us, you know, Dorit is on the path of destruction. And she tossed out a friendship with Erica and me. And I just feel so angry and frustrated. But, you know, I also feel really sad. You do not feel sad. Stop it. You dumped Dorit years ago. And this whole, like, I've been great friends to Dorit. You spent the entire year last year telling us you had never been friends with Dorit. And just your husbands were friends.

8:59And you don't even know why this lady is following you around. so stop acting like you have been the best friend dorit has ever had this narrative is so crazy and people in the comments being like kyle has been an amazing friend to dorit what the fuck show have you guys been watching and that's not to say that dorit is so innocent dorit needs to stop being late period i don't know how anybody puts up with that but this is all a little bit much i'm such a good

9:22Ben Mandelker: friend to you i'm like a great friend uh i mean like dorit calling a friend to cut fitness like that is like awful i know right like i guess i don't know what erica did she's like yeah i don't know what i did right i mean i know you're trying to defend erica but what about me what about me so uh jennifer shows up her hair is like so enormous she's just sort of like teased it all the way out in this giant cascade of 70s hair which is kind of amazing and of course the thing that everyone was talking about yesterday were the beverly hills reunion looks and jennifer really stole the show because she's wearing a dress that has her face like on it from like shoulder to knee.

10:04Ben Mandelker: It's kind of amazing. Balmain. It's like a custom Balmain dress. Yes. With her face on it. And they're saying that she did that because Amanda was like, who's Jennifer Tilly? I don't know who fucking Jennifer Tilly is while she was wearing a t-shirt that had Balmain all over it. So Jessica was like, Jennifer was like, yeah, really? Balmain made this for me, you dumb hooker. so enjoy so she comes oh by the way those looks for the reunion i guess we'll get to those in a couple weeks good lord those holy secret lives of mormon wives what are they wearing and uh what's her buns who's i going to talk about amanda the best part was that somebody toilet papered amanda i love that it looks like some teenagers just finally surrounded her in toilet paper because i saw a post of hers this week that was like did i make a million dollars when i was 20?

10:57Do I own my own house and don't need a man that's 3.4 million dollars? Do I have five mom cars? Am I rich? Yes. Yes, I am. It's like, oh, God, shut up. And so I just love that after that, some kids from the neighborhood just showed up and toilet papered her ass.

11:16Ben Mandelker: I know. That look was not a triumph. She manifested the wrong things. So Jennifer comes over and And you guys are having a personal conversation. I see gorgeous girls. So Kyle is like, yeah, no, join us. Join us. We're just like talking about the whole situation that happened last night in Italy. That last night in Italy. And I just like, I have like not heard from her since we've been back, which is crazy because I'm actually going to be in the Lincoln lawyer. And you would think that you'd want to talk to a working actress. That was insane. That was crazy. So across the party, Erica is going up to Bose and they're like, oh my God, you look so good.

11:54No, you look so good. No, you look so good. No, you look so good. No, you look so good. Rachel gives her a speech and she's like, guys, we have a lot of Virgos in my backyard tonight. And I'm so happy you're all here. I hope you guys can hear me from the other side. But you know what? Don't walk towards the light. It's bullshit. Stay there as long as you can. Can we get Bruce Willis here to give this speech? Because I'm dead.

12:19Ben Mandelker: I'm literally dead right now. like the only thing that's making me even deader than I already was was the fact that Zand is here like I thought he lived in the Hamptons the way I live in the Hamptons now but he like came all the way out here for my birthday like Zand is here guys oh my god he's gonna sing happy birthday a little bit later and it's gonna be the most beautiful rendition of happy birthday you've ever heard get ready for Zand guys get ready this is the night to celebrate life and have fun and just eat and drinks and dance and all of that okay thanks guys is like you did great mom she's like, love you, love you, moisturize, love you.

12:54So she gives him a little kiss and Kathy's like, is that the little boy Caius? And Kyle goes, I'm Caius. She's like, no, it's Caius. God, Kyle, you're that out to lunch on everybody's life. You know, Kyle's always like, I'm the best friend. You don't even know her name. You don't even know her son's name. Kathy knows it more than you. Kyle, that's just a shame.

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15:30Ben Mandelker: So then we see people around the party. We see our friend Kelty. Kelty is like talking to Dorit. and Dorit's like, you're aging in reverse. Of course, Kelty's like, yeah, I just got a facelift. That's why.

15:47So then Boz is talking to Erica. She's like, oh, I haven't seen you since Italy. Have you talked to Dorit? She's like, oh, well, I've got to give her some space. I've been a good friend of Dorit. I'm still a good friend of Dorit, but Dorit's going through some things. She's overwhelmed. That's okay because you know what? Sometimes pain makes you a dumb bitch. I'm just not dealing with it. You know what I mean? When my friends are going through pain, this is what I do. I back away. I back away until they're done with the pain. Who needs it?

16:14Ben Mandelker: I need some space from Dorit to reassess our relationship. Is it worth salvaging? I don't know, but I need a moment to find out and maybe fuck Shrek over there. So then Dorit shows, she walks up to Eric and Bo's, and she's like, hi! And they're all like, hello. So Dorit like sort of sits down awkwardly, and now the whole group is together because they producers have clearly said you guys have to sit together and do a group scene but um they're all kind of avoiding each other yeah well there's kyle sees it from across the party she's like oh my god well now to read over there oh my god now to be now what do we do so we go over there kyle why are you acting like doreen has done something to you you're the one who keeps showing up and confronting her wherever she is she's not doing anything that's what's killing me like if if the woman did something it would be different but it's like she just walks into a room and i was like oh my god there she is this whole party she's just been walking around going oh my god there's three look at the dorit's coming in oh my god dorit has a purse oh my god dorit's sitting down oh my god dorit's talking to this jesus christ what what's nothing's happening kyle nothing is going on so sudden uh is next to dorit and she's like hey so are you and kyle gonna talk tonight and dorit's like, well, this is the first moment that I've seen her.

17:31Ben Mandelker: And her and I do need to have a conversation, but I've had a really, really intense week. And my kids just started school this week. And Phoenix has had a really tough transition. And then we see one hour earlier in the car and Dorit's like, Phoenix has such bad anxiety. She was like a shell of herself, crying, saying she doesn't feel woody. She doesn't fit in. Cause the beach. And she's like, oh, yeah, it's a big deal. So Dorit's telling her you know i'll have that conversation when my head's more in the right place and so it's like well you know i think it would be nice to just say you know i'm sorry i haven't talked to you in the past week i think that would be nice i do it's like well i'm happy to hear your opinion but that's definitely not how i'm leaning so why should i apologize for not speaking to coil when i never even got to cool to read i like when she goes i'm happy to hear your opinion which is her way of saying, I'm not happy to hear your opinion.

18:29I think she's dealing with Sutton very well here. And Sutton's about to make this like Dorit's bullying her or something. I thought that was very nice. Thank you for your opinion. Not leaning that way right now. Instead of saying, mind your own business, you popsicle stick legged lady. Leave me the fuck alone and let me deal with my own problems. You're not even involved in this. Go try and start fights with stupid Amanda. No one's playing this game with you, Sutton, lady who's done nothing all year. You want to cry about your son not fixing vending machines in Santa Monica anymore? Come on.

19:02Ben Mandelker: Go away. Yeah. So, Dorit's like, thank you, but no thank you. And with the hope of not sounding too rude about what you had recommended to me, and then before she can finish her sentence, Rachel sits down. Hi, I'm here. I had to sit here. This is my final resting place because I'm dead. And at this point, Dorit completely changes her, what her she has like her whole demeanor because Rachel's there. She's always got to like kind of kiss Rachel's ass. So she says Sutton has got a lot of opinions of how I should approach Kyle. And Sutton's like Sutton's shocked like how dare you throw me under the bus like that?

19:39Ben Mandelker: Why are you making me out to be the bad guy? Like that's what her face is saying right there. That's literally what Sutton just did too. Yes. It was pretty accurate. For the first time in forever Sutton and I are finally starting to have a friendship. But then she starts talking behind me big. And now her disparate obsession for Coyle's approval has gotten the best of her. She's taken our friendship and she's flooshed it down to T 'Wilat. And then we see scenes where, you know, like all those scenes that are evidence of Sutton talking behind Dorit's back. So Sutton's like, so about the investigatory behavior, I would have been pissed.

20:21Ben Mandelker: all that stuff you know yes um so sudden is is like well she's still doing that face like i can't believe that jorita's not taking my advice so rachel's like hey we're dancing you're gonna dance with me and have fun the last fucking thing i do which it will be because after we dance i'm dead so come on final rights deathbed dancing starts right now bitch doom fucking right so she gets up and she goes to dance and kyle's like glaring at them she's like oh my god dorit's dancing dorit's on the move everybody what's she gonna be doing now oh my god is she gonna dance dorit's dancing everybody and setton is just looking crushed and she's like i got i got shut down i got shut down and jennifer discus you got real shut down whoa you were like a joanne's fabrics finally i've been waiting for it to happen but finally you were shut down i really should have gone into those sales this is like mean girl dorit 101 like oh i don't like what you said so i'm gonna ignore you and make you feel even smaller i'm like have you seen what you do sudden when you don't like what someone says it's so mean she's showing her true colors she's only about herself that's literally what people are complaining about sudden what did you not get from that last dinner party in Italy.

21:41You had your chance to chime in

21:43Ben Mandelker: then, and you didn't. And she didn't ignore you. You brought up a point. She addressed your point and told you how she felt about it, and then you just sat there trying to glare at her with your cat eyes, and she left. She didn't ignore you. She gave you the conversation you asked for. It just didn't go your way. So now she's going to turn this into, I have been bullied. Bullied. Kyle, protect me. Protect me. Kyle doesn't like you. When are you going to understand? You're not part of that clique you can try all you want but you're not ever going to be part of that clique kyle does not like you erica does not like you you're not part of these girls so stop this like this constant need to be approved by those dummies is ridiculous you're not in that yeah she's like i don't give a shit i'm sorry i'm really starting to fucking not give a shit i'm leaving i'm leaving and kyle's like um you're not leaving we haven't even danced yet but since when does kyle care about that.

22:40Ben Mandelker: I see a floor without Kyle Slime on it. Let's do the splits! Little does she realize she's about to get appropriated by Natalie who doesn't say anything in this episode. She has fewer lines than Kelty, but she definitely gets to do the splits. Yes. Yeah, Carl's like, fuck Terry. We're gonna dance. We're gonna dance. I don't want to dance. I'm really not. I've been bullied and I'm not gonna pretend to this is fun. She's like, come on. Let's go. Let's just go for a minute. Come on. So now Kathy Collins, Sutton go inside and, um, the sentence kind of wobbling. She's like, where are my shoes? Where are my shoes?

23:18Three probably stole my shoes. That bully.

23:21Ben Mandelker: Sutton just needs, um, she just needs a scene change. Cause they like, there's no difference between having the conversation on the sofas outside versus the sofas inside. But when they go, once they go inside, she's like, okay, okay. I'm ready to hear. I think that Sutton just needs to feel like she's being coddled. Like we're going to take you to a special place. to give you special attention so you stay around for the end of the scene so kyle's like so what just happened okay show me on the pillow where dorit hurt you and she goes well jenifer asked dorit if she talked to kyle she said no and i told dorit it might be nice for her to reach out to you at some point which is not what she said you said why don't you say i'm sorry i didn't call you which is very different and whatever she said and then and then dorit she just starts talking to Rachel, when I'm just sitting right there.

24:07Ben Mandelker: So this is, of course, Sutton's biggest trigger, which is that she's not the coolest one in the room. She's not accepted. And you have Rachel there. And Dorit cares more about going on a dance floor with Rachel than she does than sitting with Sutton and talking about things. That's how she perceives it. And it's not even problems that Sutton has with Dorit. She's going over there to go make Dorit kiss Kyle's ass. And it's like, why would you think that she's going to respond well to that instead of someone coming over to be friendly to her. It's just stupid. So she's like, it was very condescending, and I do not like it.

24:41I do not like it. But you know, I have emotions, and I have things going on too. My son fixed vending machines in Santa Monica. They are not going to be able to get their Almond Joyce. Who is going to serve Almond Joyce to those poor people? You know, I am now alone.

25:01Ben Mandelker: I'm seriously alone. Even though I keep on saying that I'm alone and the past like three seasons, my storyline's been that I'm alone. But now I'm like really alone because that boy that you never see, he's gone too. So yeah, I've been like holding it together all summer long. And I haven't even been able to drink because you guys shaved me so hard last year. It's been hard, real hard. Y 'all made me give up my best friend, Belvedere. And now I'm alone. Kyle's like, I know, I've been there. Kyle. Worstyle. One of them. and Kathy's just blinking at them like well what is anybody talking about so Sutton is telling us I dropped my baby off at college that was stressful and it was her fault and if Dorit took one second to pay attention she might realize we can all help one each other we can all help each other you are not trying to help Dorit stop it victim yeah you're trying to help Kyle we all we all have things going on because a lot going on I'd like to add this was supposed to be still my divorce season.

25:59Ben Mandelker: Sutton's like, and your daughter's wedding is next week. See, notice how I brought that back from like 18 episodes ago because America forgot or pushed it out of their minds because no one cared about it. I brought it back for you, Kyle. That's what I did. I could be your best friend. I could take Dorit's place. You think this is on my top list of priorities? No, then why are you walking around watching what Dorit's doing every second of the party? It seems like you care because that's what you've done the entire party. She is, you know, counting on her fingers. She's like, oh my God, listening, everyone that Dorit has problems with right now.

26:34I mean, it's Amanda. It's me. It's Erica. It's Sutton. You know what they say. Meet more than one asshole a day and you're usually the asshole.

26:42Ben Mandelker: Or you are a specific type of doctor. So then. No kidding. You could just be a proctologist. So Kathy's like, why give this such importance? But just to make it clear, I meet a lot of assholes every day and I am an asshole. And Kyle, from one asshole to another, you are also an asshole. You are an asshole. And also, to be fair, if you meet a lot of assholes in one day, then you probably are the asshole, yes. But also, they can be assholes, too. It's just, you're just one more asshole. You're just not exempt as you think you were. Yeah. So, back in the party, Kathy's like, why give this such importance?

27:22Like, who cares? And Sutton's wiping tears. She's like, oh, God, I really hurt my feelings, Kathy. and I'm not going to tell you. It's because you have nothing going on. That's why. No one hurt your feelings, okay? And Kathy's like, you know, you just have to say, you're not getting rid of me. I'm going to still be here no matter what. I mean, that's what Carol does. God bless her. She can't even match a ribbon to a bell jar, but she's still here. I've changed the locks four times. She just climbs right over the fence.

27:51Ben Mandelker: Let's go dance. So they go to the dance floor and now it's dancing time and they're having fun dancing to probably love shack or whatever and they're just like dancing dancing dancing and um we see natalie doing the split this is where she does the big old splits and she gets she sort of gets stuck down there she's so bad at this that she doesn't even tease her face forward to the to meet the camera we just see the back of her head i was like come on natalie you got to know where the cameras are so uh jennifer's like Well, I bet she earned every single penny of that massive divorce settlement.

28:26Ben Mandelker: Mm-hmm.

28:31So back to the party. Kyle and Stetton are back outside sitting together. And now they're in a different setting to talk about Dorit some more. They're trying so hard to make this a thing. And Dorit does not care. Kyle's like, oh, my God. I think you should talk to Dorit. I'm going to. I'm going to. Dorit, we need to have a talk. Let me grab you for a second. She goes, well, that's annoying. I'm a lady I'm talking to. I'll hate Sutton forever for this. She goes, what do you mean you're going to hate me forever? She's like, I'm kidding. I was enjoying my conversation for the first time.

29:02Ben Mandelker: Well, I'm sorry. Notice how I said the word sorry. It wasn't a big deal. You really have hurt my feelings. Just, just now. Dari gives that face of like, are you kidding me? Like you, my, how much will it cost for this car to be repaired? That kind of face. and Sutton is like, where are the bugles, babe? You've eaten the bugles. I haven't eaten them. Where are they? You know, she's looking like, really? Really? The bag I just bought, the one I just brought into the house five minutes ago. You're out of it. So she like crinkles up like one of her nostrils because she's like so annoyed. So Sutton's like, when we were talking over there before and Rachel came up to us, it was like, as soon as she sat down, I felt like I just didn't exist.

29:50Ben Mandelker: And it just, it really hurts my feelings. She goes, well, I'm sorry that your feelings were hurt. I'm also sorry that you interrupted a very good conversation with Valerie Stephanie. What's her face over there? Great conversation. Are you, are you really sorry? Are you, are you sorry? Are you, are you really sorry? I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I see it. I see it right now. Well, it doesn't seem like you're that sorry. I mean, I don't know. but it didn't feel like sorry. So I don't know. Try it again. What would you like me to do to prove to you how sorry I am that I hurt your feelings, Saturn? Well, we're going to build a friendship.

30:28I need to be able to say that you hurt my feelings. Okay.

30:30Ben Mandelker: Oh, oh, you did. And I gave you my apology. And what would you like me to do? In addition to the apology, there's something else you'd like me to do. Would you like me to refill the bugles? Okay. So you're mad because I told you you needed to do, you're mad at me because I needed to tell you something. And she's like, okay, bye, bye, goodbye, good boy, boy, boys. And she just walks off and is like, weirdo. Good for her for not giving Sutton her big pre-finale fight that she's trying. This is just ridiculous. And she knew what it was. That's why she had that look on her face like, really, what's this bullshit you want to talk about now, Sutton?

31:08Ben Mandelker: So Dorit tells us, When Sutton came and looked me in the eye, she had the audacity to say that I should apologize to Coyle for not speaking to her since Italy. And at that point, I knew, gee, she's gone. I don't have the tolerance or the patience for it anymore. I am doomed. I'm doomed. So Sutton's just on the dance floor. Like, oh my God, she has lost her mind. She has lost her mind. So Sutton. So she suddenly goes back to Kyle's side Kyle's like, oh my god, what happened? What happened over there? What happened? Get a life, my god I know And then Skylar gets on the mic and he's like I'd like to invite all the Virgos to the dance floor We're going to cut the cake Oh my god, there's cake for the Virgos Come up here, Virgos I don't really eat much, though I just have stem cells being brought out With sparklers in them But you guys can have cake you guys and now a very special performance from zander zander you have the mic

32:24Ben Mandelker: i was like what is going on with this wannabe coachella guy zander guy is she banging zander i hope she is because he's at least hot but god what a himbo he gets up there and he does the I love when like singers try to like sing happy birthday it's always hilarious happy birthday this is not karaoke please stop it okay just do it like everybody else happy birthday you know nobody needs to hear your special skills happy birthday but he tries to do the singer version he's like happy it's like girl you didn't even have your happy birthday key come on Mojave son I know. Yeah, he starts off trying to find his key.

33:04Ben Mandelker: He's like,

33:08Ben Mandelker: Happy birthday.

33:15Ben Mandelker: Happy birthday. Eric has still got to get in when anybody else is singing. Everyone knows that if you're a professional singer, you still have to sing happy birthday in a very blah way. And the way that you signal that you are a professional singer is that you harmonize with the final note of the song. So when everyone goes, happy birthday, happy birthday, well everyone goes, to you as professional singers go, to you. They harmonize. That's how they're like, yes, I am professional, I know what you're doing. Just add it in there at the second. Don't jerk off during the whole song. Just put it there, just give a little instant splurt there at the end.

33:58But yeah, it's like, happy

33:59Ben Mandelker: And Erica's like, oh, holy night. So Rachel's like, I hate my birthday because that means I'm getting older. But my mind and my body are completely different age than my actual self. I'm like happy to be myself. I'm so, so happy. So Jennifer jumps in the pool and then Skylar comes with her and they're like, oh my God, Jennifer fucking Tilly. I love you so much, so much. Swimming with Scassia. It's amazing. Commercials. Here comes one right now. Spring is giving fresh start vibes. Like suddenly you want to open the windows and drink more water and maybe act like you have your life together. But when dinner rolls around and you're this close to ordering takeout again, ButcherBox can help.

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37:06Ben Mandelker: So now we go to Sutton's house and she sits in her kitchen. I love Sutton walks into her kitchen and she has like a dog that's like in a crate. And she looks at the dog. She goes, hello. And then she goes over to her table. I just love like that she treated the dog like it was someone who's working at a bank. Hello. I'd like to talk about making a deposit. Hello. I parked in the handicap, but I'm just going to be here for a second. That's okay, right? Okay. Let's get to it. Dog's just like, what the hell, lady? She's eating cat poop. It was just so cold and clinical to your own dog. Hello. I cracked up.

37:46Ben Mandelker: I cracked up so much. So she sits down. I'm like, I wonder where she gets it from. So she gets on FaceTime with Reba. And Reba is basically like, so I saw that film, Edward Scissorhands. And I said, give me the one that Kathy Baker gets. Because she literally has Kathy Baker's hairstyle from that movie that Edward Scissorhands gets her. She's like, did you get a haircut, Mother? She's like, I just slept on it. I've slept on my side and woke up. And here I am. I put on a red lip and a new haircut and asymmetric bob. You like it? Don't put on hairspray before you lie down. I should have known better, but dang it.

38:22What's going on? She's like, well, we went to Italy and the house we stayed in was old. It had a huge theater and we saw two tenors and a soprano. And her mom's like.

38:37Jesus, that's Puccini. Tell your friend Xander that that's Puccini. Tell Mojave Hot Buns he could learn something from Puccini. Right.

38:50Ben Mandelker: Yeah. What's the name of Xander's band? Mojave, Mojave son, Mojave, Mojave black or something. So son's like, okay, well, thank you for seeing opera mother. You know, you are being televised right now. Okay. There's been a lot of drama in this friend group. Mother, please don't do death of a salesman monologue. I mean, drama very seriously. I have sold, sold shoes. I can no longer take selling shoes. Mother, don't go to the basement again. Okay, this is not Death of a Salesman. Stay here.

39:26No Puccini, Mother. No Puccini. That's Death of a Salesman, the musical.

39:32Ben Mandelker: Well, honey, what am I supposed to do if you won't give me drama or opera? She's like, don't do anything. This is not an audition tape. Okay, Dorit has not been nice lately. Reba's like, well, you know, I thought you'd be used to that, being my daughter. but when your father died, I was pretty upset and that might be where Dorita is right now. She's maybe going through the motions but she's not in touch with how she's coming across to people, kind of like you your whole life. Well, she was not very nice and she really hurt my feelings the other day. And she goes, are your feelings that shallow, Sutton?

40:04I mean, come on. Good Lord, I loved this. How did Reba become a national hero? Like, I remember Reba, at first people were like, F this woman, now Now I want Reba to run for president. I love her. And Sutton just is like, oh, we're on all this mother. She's like, yes, mom, I am tired. My son just moved across the country. She goes, oh, yeah, that's right. Good for him. Finally got out.

40:30Ben Mandelker: By the way, when Reba, like, says these stinging things, Sutton really has a look of a cat that got squirted in the face with a weapon gun. Oh, get off the counter. Fine, mother.

40:45And she just keeps doing it Over and over She's like well she didn't ask me And she didn't ask me about that And I've been in her corner She didn't ask me about my son She didn't ask me about my son She goes well she didn't mean it honey She's writing a memoir And then Reba goes oh please

41:02Ben Mandelker: So just when Dorita thought Reba was on Dorita was like see even her mother's on her side Then she goes oh please Who does she think she is Pachini

41:15mother i think that that needs to be on dorit's book cover like where they give quotes of other authors who think they're fabulous it's like this book really made me feel unburdened by you know kate smith and then he gets to reba oh please oh please sudden goes and she's having her quote

41:35Ben Mandelker: unquote launch party i'm doing air quotes mother for her book even though there was no book so i'm just calling it a photo launch party. And we see a flashback to Dorit telling everyone, everyone, I want to invite you all to my release party. I'm revealing the cover of my book. It is now called Unburdened, but the original name of it was Ah! Oh, police!

42:01And they're just all looking at her like, the release of your book cover? What the hell? Sounds like, I don't think I'm going to go to that party. You think that's okay if I'm not going to go? Of course that's okay. You don't want to go, don't go. But I've barely begun to even be alone in this house. I need to get used to it. I need to start being alone more so that I can get used to being alone. I don't want to be alone. I don't want to be alone, so I need to be alone. Does that make any sense?

42:25Ben Mandelker: You have so much to learn, starting with Puccini, I have to say, because someday you'll be FaceTiming to your child and singing Puccini so you don't have to listen to their stupid complaints about the world. Oh, honey, I've been waiting for this moment when finally you get to spend time with the person that everyone else has run away from their entire lives. You. I just, I haven't gotten used to that. I haven't really gotten used to that quiet place yet. Oh, well, you got to watch out for those aliens. You want me to do my alien impersonation? Mother, you've been watching popular movies?

43:01Mother, okay, stop it. That was the alien seeing Pacini in Death of a Salesman.

43:09Ben Mandelker: Okay, I gotta go. Sudden saying she dropped off James, her son. And so she, like, you know, it's really sad. And, you know, her empty nests, she hasn't really registered that she has an empty nest yet. She's like, she knows, she can see. It's like, look, there's, she sees she's alone. She sees the empty rooms. She sees Dreyfus right there in the living room, but she doesn't quite feel like she's on empty nest just yet. So she's getting there. So we're hoping that David leisure will pop in by and really help sell the, sell the concept to her. Oh wait, I just got a text. It's from Richard Mulligan.

43:49Can we just be friends? Okay. Well, I have been friend zoned by the empty best guy. So, okay. It's official mother.

43:58Ben Mandelker: Hold on. There is a, uh, there's a surly nurse at the door named Mark overall. She says her name is Laverne though. We don't really understand what's going on.

44:09so when's this fun empty nester thing supposed to start it's gonna be fun right mom it's gonna be fun in about five years five years but you're gonna start doing stuff to enjoy yourself since you'll have less responsibility you know hopefully it's maybe classes on being less of a little shithead so people will actually want to hang out with you some more but i like being a mother she says well you're still a mother but you're also sudden unfortunately so you're your own unique

44:35Ben Mandelker: person and that's what you need to work on okay thank goodness for my business thank good thank god i did that six years ago i'm like it's closed right like right that's closed yeah what is she talking about we need to look this up because what was this archival interview they inserted in here she's like because i'd really be lost without it i'm like uh i have bad news for you this is someone who's not checking on their store because it's not there anymore she really hasn't been there uh well she has sudden green label so maybe she just moved it all to online because she does have that that's actually true she does have her because she had that fashion show that kathy bumped into the model and um so the last thing on her store is a girl in pajamas and they're not like even steamed they're like really wrinkly ugly pajamas and uh it's the sudden concept 64 weeks ago.

45:29Ben Mandelker: Yeah. So, yeah. So she's just like, thank God for my dogs and my store. They were more fulfilling than children ever were in the first place. I'm just going to someday, I'm just going to stand at the top of the world and take in that view. Okay, Sutton. So now we go to Rachel's house. So I'm looking at Sutton's website now because I want to see what she's doing. It's important to me to know. Her website is called Sutton Brands. And it's a picture of Sutton on the couch. and then there's, it's just all Sutton. Sutton's the model for everything. It's Sutton in a jogging suit and then three different GIFs of Sutton like posing, modeling her own little jogging suits.

46:07And then there are t-shirts with her phrases on them. There's a lot of name them shirts and that's it. And oh no, there's also a sweater that says snow babe that has another model. But otherwise it's just Sutton modeling name them hats and stuff like that. So yeah, you're basically Bill Gates. Wow.

46:26Ben Mandelker: Yeah. She basically, uh, future Jeff Bezos. So, um, uh, Erica, we go to Erica's house. I'm sorry, Rachel's house. Erica comes over, which honestly, if I were Erica, I'd be a little annoyed. I'm like, I was just here last night. You couldn't come to fucking Hancock park. Jeez. But, uh, I would have taken you to restaurants, but no one allow you in because you keep Dining dashing So We're just Stuck in my house You don't have to pay here Oh thank god Alright Do you enjoy your party? I did The happiness I felt I just looked at my friends Look at my face Look how happy it is Like how did I get So fucking lucky To have like A friend who could wear A fedora And sing Happy birthday In ways we never even knew They could be sung Like undead It's amazing Well you're a good friend To everyone in this group Including Mr.

47:19Reed She was letting us have it. She didn't let you have it. You let her have it. What are you guys rewriting history episode to episode? So Rachel's like, oh, God, we need to talk about that. You know, like with the shopping and the spending, like we all fucking shop. So like I wasn't exactly like, oh, my God, she's spending so much money in the Hamptons. Like who doesn't? Like, hello, we're on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. It's not what we're supposed to do. She's like, well, but the thing is when we go through separation, the first thing we think about is always the money.

47:46Ben Mandelker: see i don't because like my situation is different and like that isn't where my mind goes first i think of like my vintage dior like what happens then i think about the kaleidoscope in sedona like what happens with that i think about like slippers i got that i gave to kaios i think about kaios's like moisturizer those are things i think about first i don't think about the money because honestly i'm really wealthy yeah she's like i don't think about that because i'm rich so and i die every day and then i inherit all my money all over again like i become richer every day yeah um so uh rachel's like i don't want to judge her based on her spending her lateness i mean her lateness is like her lateness like she's got to work on that like for sure it's like yeah well the lateness is not just i'm late at least in the time management or i don't care about anybody else or is it like i'm mad at everyone and they're out to get me you know things like that Well, you think she is?

48:46Ben Mandelker: You think that's it? You think it is that? Well, I can only presume she's overwhelmed because apparently we can't say erratic anymore so we've got to say overwhelmed with the kids and her marriage falling apart and all that bullshit. You know, I see a lot of fear in the ring. Right with Tom, the whole world is upside down with legal issues. Thoughts of how am I going to pay for all this? How's it going to turn around? Because PK's not going to go easy on it. He's solid because he knows all the tactics. He's got a whipped up into a frenzy and he loves it. He loves it. I'm like, so isn't that why you should be kind of nice to her?

49:21I mean, look, the whole, like Dorit is late. Yes. Eric is always going to have me on that one. Dorit is an asshole for being late. So if it's just about that, just make it about that. So Rachel's like, well, at the end of the day, you get dead people for dead people. It's a lot. And part of my job, like as a newer friend, like maybe I should go deeper with Dorit. You know, maybe I should be like, are you okay? because you were late. But like, I'm going to go to a book party and you're coming with me, right? They're like, because if Kyle doesn't go, like she'll expect that. But if you don't go, it's going to be a thing.

49:52Ben Mandelker: And so Rachel's like, Derek is like, yeah, it's going to be a thing. Yeah. Oh, it's going to be a thing. Yeah. She's going to be crushed. Yeah, it's going to still be a thing. It's going to be a thing. I'm just, it's going to be a thing. It's going to be a thing. It's going to be a thing. Huge thing. Huge thing. Huge. Yeah, she'll probably be mad at me. Do I call her? Yes, like a no-show. That would destroy her. She would be gone. She wouldn't even be bones. There would just be ashes. She would be destroyed. She would be obliterated. Just throw acid on her. Just start her on fire. Obliterated.

50:21Ben Mandelker: She would immediately say, I'm sided with Kyle. Why am I doing that? She's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, she will. She will. Great, they're not going to do it. That's exactly what I want her to know. And you are. So now we see it's the evening and Bo's is going on a little mommy-daughter date that's totally not preplanned at all. Everybody, here's my completely natural romance storyline. Let's get to it. Well, Mom, we brought you to a restaurant that was as close to the spelling of your name as possible. It's Boa. They got just one letter off on the alphabet before circling back to the front, but that's okay.

50:58Ben Mandelker: So they walk in and she's like, oh, I'm excited for a mother-daughter date. And guess what? But it's not just that. They walk into a back room and the door opens and there is Kelly. Kelly is there in a big jacket. And everyone's there. All the families are there. And everyone has their smartphones out. I'm like, part of me is kind of like, can everyone put their phones down? Can you just enjoy this for a moment? Because I'm like, it's being documented pretty effectively. I don't watch Bravo. Like, fuck this. I'm getting my own video. out um so this totally not planned by bows at all keely is some out of work actor from san diego he did not rent out bow he did not rent out boa sorry yeah i'm not buying this i got the bank of america no at boa steakhouse um he um he's there look his plugs filled in which was nice um and you call it boa or boa i call it boa it's but i'm you know i'm not rich oh it's boa because it's all caps so i thought it was boa well no you but that just means you're supposed to say boa that's like mom you don't have to text the restaurant like that no it's it's called

52:23Ben Mandelker: either way this is it's an engagement it's very nice he's like you look great love your lips love your eyes love your smile love everything about you she's like oh but you said you were in San Diego we'll get used to that on our first date I knew there was something different about you on our third date you asked me to go to Ghana I said, are you sure? But I knew then in Ghana that I was not gonna be Ghana. See what I did there? This is something special. And that you're someone I could cross to the finish line with. I can't wait to do forever with you. So will you marry me? Well, of course I will.

53:06Will you be my retirement plan? She's like, oh my God, of course. And so everybody claps and Lael cries watching her inheritance go down the drain. And Bo's is like, oh God, You know, I think about this moment, dreaming about it, envisioning how I'd be doing it. Stoic and fabulous and laughing. But all I want to do is cry. I can't believe I'm here. I've allowed myself to dream. And look what dreaming brought me. This oddly rugged man, Keeley, who's already spent half of my money. I can't wait. This was like lightning striking. Yeah, and you were standing right in the path of it.

53:43Ben Mandelker: What are you doing? you know when lightning strikes twice sometimes you've got to say like that's not like i think the first time's enough i don't want the lightning to strike a second time yeah who wants lightning to strike twice you know it's not good it's usually not good although we did get electricity from it we we not be totally fire fire and um david david copperfield backgrounds so Bose it's actually a very nice scene and Bose is just like very happy and she's like there's so much to look forward to so now we go to Kyle's house which is not one of the things that's on the list to look forward to going to Kyle's house and Kyle is in an effort to remind us that she has been in the Halloween franchise has her face in a Michael Myers-esque mask the entire scene.

54:44Salmon sperm facial. Yeah, so she's not making salmon this year, but she's still putting their sperm on her face. Kyle has a real salmon kink. She does. So Portia and Alexia come in. They're like, oh my god, I'm getting married, Bob. Oh my god, you're getting married? Yeah, I'm getting married. Oh my god. Her big day is four days away. She's going to be your wife. It's unbelievable. I look at her, and I'm like, how is that possible? You're still a baby. It's like looking at one of Mauricio's dates. How do I get my face to look like yours?

55:14Ben Mandelker: That's why I'm wearing this Michael Myers mask all 24 hours. I know you're supposed to only do it for 13 minutes, but what if I do it for all day long? All day long, my face will be young. That's substance. So Jen, the assistant, comes in and she's like, hi, I'm Jen. I have a lot of things to go over with you. She's like, I'm supposed to go to a thing for Dereach tonight, but honestly, it just feels weird to go when you're barely speaking to someone, right? She's like, yeah, and you have so much going on right now. like there's the salmon sperm facial you're doing. Then I think you have to look for a remote later on.

55:48Yeah, you've got a lot going on. I love that. You've got so much going on. She's got a salmon skin facial sperm thing, a sperm thing on her face. So she's like, yeah, I'm just going to text her and let her know I'm not coming. But even that's weird. Cause like, we're not even texting. Maybe I'll text PK and have PK text her.

56:06Ben Mandelker: So Kyle's like over the last 10 years, I've always felt like I stood up for Dorit and have defended Dorit. And they give Kyle a very complimentary montage. They sure do. When, you know, Kyle has defended Dorit in the past, but this was all before Kyle announced out of nowhere that she wasn't close friends with Dorit, which is by the way, the reason why that was such a crazy thing to say is because we'd witnessed this montage in real time. And so the montage suggests that they actually are good friends. And so it's that disconnect that poisoned everything afterwards. And some of these clips they put in there are just bullshit, too.

56:43And they're like a mending history. Like, look how Kyle stood up for Dorit during Puppygate. Kyle was the one who made Puppygate a big deal. She's the only one who made that a big deal to get Vanderpump off the show. So she wasn't defending Dorit. She was antagonizing a situation and ruining a friendship so that she could get rid of Vanderpump. Come on with these editors. I've been watching this show. You can't trick me, Keely. So she's like, yeah, I want to support her. But like, you know, like, you know, I feel like all the support and being a good friend of her, like seems so unimportant now.

57:13Like, I mean, if she's forgotten all of that, then like, why am I going to go to this party after everything that happened?

57:19Ben Mandelker: So now we go to Amanda's house. Do you think she should have gone to Dorit's thing or do you think she's being an asshole? I think they should. It's a tough one because honestly, i think they're in an active fight for sure and this is like it is kind of a bullshit party it's a party for the cover of her book so that just feels so stupid but um you know i think there's a way we can be like okay we're gonna support well we'll support you we'll come in and then we'll leave because they know that they're gonna bury the hatchet at some point um if anything i actually think erica has more of a leg to stand on with this because kyle is just so petty i think like erica was deeply offended when dorit said that bose has supported her more than anyone else in this group ever has and well she was saying this year though she said bose has been more supportive to me this year than you guys did she say this year yeah i think pretty sure but go ahead Either way.

58:23I did. I didn't mean to interrupt you, but I should.

58:26Ben Mandelker: If I were Erica, I would, like, I feel like I would be, I think it was, like, somehow it just felt like it hit a little deeper towards Erica. But, yeah, I don't know. I think they probably should have just gone and just said hello and then left. Sutton has the worst excuse of all. Like, Sutton just made up a fight, so that way she couldn't go. but I think you go for five to 10 minutes you say your hellos and then you leave early well at the very least like go and then you could say god even when I wasn't happy with you I went to your stupid book cover signing you know but I think by not going they're just dumping Dorit I think that they're just like okay Dorit's done we'll get rid of Dorit with this one because they're always trying to get rid of somebody every year that's like who are we going to get rid of and I think it's Dorit's turn and they're like we're done with her and we're all going to unite and just not shoot with Dorit and then we'll get rid of Dorit, you know?

59:21And it's shitty. So Kyle, you know, Kyle makes her decision. So now we go to Amanda's house and Eddie is just lying on the living room floor because he's poor and so he doesn't get a couch. And then Amanda is eating and she's like, I wasn't gonna go to this thing for Dorit. And he's like, the book launch, quote unquote. She's like, yeah, like, I guess you have to actually like write a book to call it that. So this is more of like a reveal For the cover of the book Like you know like how I had a picture For the cover of my book

59:54Ben Mandelker: And he's like so you're gonna go She's like uh I'm like in like a weird Position cause I don't feel Obligated to go at all and I don't owe her this or feel like I need To go but there's a small part Of me that wants to be a woman who supports Women cause you know Dorit's Been horrible to me this whole Summer she made it very hard. I mean, she even called me a wimp through Sutton's body at my own manifestation party. But I want this stream of revenue for her. And I'm happy for this woman that made my summer absolutely terrible. I'm happy for her that she can earn at least, you know, $35 a week with this book.

1:00:32Ben Mandelker: So I'm going to support her. Yeah, she goes, I'm happy for her. I'm such a good person. Oh, God. So then she's like, I'm going to go. You know, she's like, if the vibes are bad, I'm going to come home. And he's like, well, in the eternal words of my father, don't be the one to start it. Be the one to finish it, girl. She's like, hallelujah. So then we go to Bo's and Rachel getting ready. And then we go to Sutton's house. And she's just at her kitchen table. And so she FaceTimes Bo's. And she's like, well, you look pretty. Well, what are you doing? Where are you at? I'm at home. Why are you at home?

1:01:10I'm not coming. I'm not coming. I'm staying home. In solidarity with all of the vending machines that have quarters stuck in them and nobody to help them.

1:01:20Ben Mandelker: The way I was spoken to at Rachel's was not nice. I understand she's highly stressed and I don't want to be part of the problem. And I, of course, want to talk to her because I don't want to sever our friendship. And I think if I went tonight, it could just injure it further. And Bose is like, okay. Bose is definitely not fighting for this. um the sun's basically saying you know that part of the work i've been putting into myself this year is respecting myself as well as finding new and interesting ways to start fights with people and then get mad at them that they were angry at me during that fight so i don't know i'm afraid if i go to dorit's party i find myself in a reactive position whatever this is a reactive position.

1:02:04This is being actively mean. So then Bo's is like, well, this isn't a good look for Sutton. I mean, at the very least, come support to read. You know, she's always shown up for her even when they weren't in the best of places. I mean, why not show up for her? Drink some champagne. Eat some hors d 'oeuvres. I mean, girl already paid for them. Might as well eat them. What the hell?

1:02:23Ben Mandelker: Seriously, free food. Come on. It's like, I'm emotionally vulnerable right now. Oh, shut up. So now we go to Gravitas, a members-only club in Beverly Hills. And it's Dorit's book cover reveal party. Could you imagine being a member of a club called Gravitas? I just can't. Especially it's in Beverly Hills. You want me to think there's such a thing as Gravitas in Beverly Hills? Come on. Get over yourself. You want to meet with Gravitas! You're a club called Gravitas and you're hosting a party for Dorit's book cover for a book that's not even out yet or written. Well, that takes gravitas, if you think about it.

1:03:06Ben Mandelker: Yeah, I guess it does. Big gravitas. Well, it's been a long time since I've had something. I can see the boys, and I'm very excited for tonight. Very, very excited. And she's talking about how before PK, she was a businesswoman. She had an established fashion career, and she put everything on hold for that uncooked croissant. but now it's time for me to get back into the workforce so i can support me and the kids uh the workforce ma 'am you are not going to work at like a ford factory okay you're not going up to lansing workforce you're right you had someone else write a book for you as is your right as a celebrity no pun intended and you're putting out some stupid autobiography that's going to be here one second gone and another and you're acting like you're rosie the riveter come on to read so funny but i do like that dorit is like you know what this is a new me a new me who supports children and that's why i wear shoulder pads like she's wearing and everything we see that's related to the book she's wearing gigantic like football size shoulder pads it's so funny it's like in the book the book the cover of her book and in the outfit today she's like it's unburdened and the team is shoulders because when you're unburdened you have less on your shoulders so now i have more on my shoulders does that make sense no i developed very large shoulders carrying the lunchbox to work very heavy so rachel comes in she's like you are fabulous really thank you bb because i've got to tell you rachel i'm hanging on by a thread tomorrow i'm supposed to pick it at the factory so rachel's like she's like sam sam i'm also hanging by a thread i'm on fucking fire right now like literally is there an extinguisher i need it to be put on me i am in flames be careful like you have about 30 seconds to get out of this building before it all goes up in an inferno because i am on fire i don't even want to talk to you about it because it's your night, but I'm just going to sit here and like burn to death in a corner.

1:05:19So just like watch me perish. It's like totally fine. No, tell me about it. Okay, fine. This is where I'm at. I wore these sparkles intentionally because like they represent fire and I'm dying. She's like, what is it? What is it? Oh, and she holds up a Chanel do not disturb clutch. She's like, yeah, do not disturb. So do you want to disturb me so I can tell you? Okay, I'm getting ready to go an hour ago and my phone starts blowing up blowing up blowing up I tell you like I don't even follow my ex but then everyone's like did you see what he posted on social apparently it's her birthday day after mine and he posted wait for it happy birthday my love oh my god can you believe that a man would post that to the love to his love on her birthday Swear.

1:06:06Swear.

1:06:07Ben Mandelker: Swear to God. No! Swear to God. Stop it! Swear to God. Stop. Swear to God. Stop. Put me out. Put me out. Put me out on my fire. No, seriously, it hurts. Absolutely not. Like seriously, it hurts. Awful. Just shoot me. Oh, goodness. I hate burning. Awful. Dead. Terrible. What? How? Why? Let's kill him For the world to see The entire world to see On social media Can I tell all the girls in this turnout pool So Rachel is like I don't think it's that crazy That you broke up with your husband And then your husband got a girlfriend And now he's posting happy birthday to his girlfriend I don't I didn't think it was that crazy at first, but then I think it's the public nature and like with the boys.

1:07:00Ben Mandelker: And I don't know. I just, I don't know how much the boys know or don't know. Well, I think that because remember he sat him down with the girlfriend or whatever. Right. But I think Rachel's probably reacting to like, let's not rub this in the face of the kids while they're getting used to it. I'm not sure. Okay. But my first thought was, my first thought was like, um, he is dating her. He's allowed to say happy birthday. Um, but I'm one, once to read said out there for the world to see, then I was like, oh, maybe that's what it is, the public nature of it. But I do like that Rachel keeps coming in with these big announcements about something that Raj did, acting like it broke the internet.

1:07:35Ben Mandelker: Like, none of us really care. She's like, yeah. The whole world. I've been getting so many text messages. The whole world is talking about it. Yeah. I got a call from the queen, and the only reason I can get a call from the queen is because we're both dead. So, my dead phone rang. Everyone's talking about it. I don't know. I just feel like Rachel has been divorcing Roger for like five years. So the way that they're making it sound like this is all just happening right now on the show. I mean, I know that the actual divorce is, but I've, I don't know. It's not like I keep up on Rachel news. Like I don't have a Google alert for Rachel, but I feel like I heard about the Roger divorce like a really long time ago.

1:08:12Yeah.

1:08:12Ben Mandelker: Yeah. It was, it was less, it was, it was, it was a lot. Well, cause they first got separated. I mean they got separated in I think 2024 but then the divorce obviously happened last summer when this was filming and it's just been going on for a long time it's not really been terribly interesting for any of us so but it's very interesting to Rachel and obviously and so she keeps bringing it up like guys did you see the latest I can't believe I'm in this national scandal with Raj like okay she's like yeah I mean is it not absolutely insane that he's dating a Virgo who's a wannabe stylist whose birthday is three days after mine.

1:08:55Like, you know.

1:09:00Ben Mandelker: Well, I could absolutely see BK doing the same thing that Roger did. He loves the attention. I'm sure I would feel exactly the same way. Rachel feels sick to my stomach. Sort of how sick I feel when I see all the labor infractions happening on the assembly line when I'm at work. Do you know how difficult it is to make a Volkswagen? I saw one lady get her hand sheared off. By the way, PK did just do this. Actually, PK just came out with his new girlfriend. And she looks exactly like Dorit. It's crazy. I mean, exactly like Dorit. I mean, look. I mean, he definitely has a type. Yikes. Wow. So, isn't that crazy?

1:09:49Ben Mandelker: Also, lady, who and why are you? Yeah. Why? Why? Why, lady? Why? Why are you doing this to yourself? This is what I've always felt about Dorit, too, you know? I don't know. PK is one of those guys, like, you marry PK, and then you can't wonder why everybody has lost respect for you. Like, nobody is going to be like, oh, you married PK. Must be for love. nobody. PK really pulls the wool over these people's eyes. I don't know. Now Jennifer comes in. Oh, look at everybody. You're so gorgeous. Oh my God. You the other night jumping into the pool with Kai Kai. Wow. That was incredible. She's so adorable.

1:10:35I felt my ovaries expanding. Is that what ovaries do? How do ovaries work? What is an ovary? I don't know.

1:10:45Ben Mandelker: I'm like, I'm a gay man. So Amanda comes in And you know Everybody's like wow You look so great Amanda She's like um yeah this is Balmain from this past winter I believe Or otherwise known as my husband couldn't afford this That's the label He's poor Dorit introduces them to her publishers And she's like Jennifer's like you are so lucky to have Dorit telling her amazing story That was sarcasm I can do humor she went from that thing to that other thing and then she was late to that thing and it's a short book I presume this is a brochure are you brochure publishers yes I'm excited to find out about Dorit's life

1:11:38Ben Mandelker: we're designing Beverly Beach can't wait for that chapter yeah when I got the swatches for Book of the People.

1:11:49Ben Mandelker: I'm very proud of Dorit and this little ceremonial gathering by celebrating Baby Steps as she's on her way. And usually the last thing you do when you write a book is Photoshop the cover, so she's doing it a little in reverse, but, you know, you do you. Good job, gorgeous girl. I don't think Kyle's coming. But it's like, oh, hell, Sutton just called me and said she's not coming either. Does nobody respect free hors d 'oeuvres? Well, I've had three people in our group tell me they're not coming at the very last minute. Like, are you kidding me? She's like, Natalie is sick. You know, they're looking at her like, is Natalie in our group or...

1:12:25Ben Mandelker: Okay, that's fine. She got some kind of foot disease from doing splits on the floor. Coil is tired and overwhelmed. And Sutton just wrote me, after much thought, I've decided not to attend this evening. I want you to have a special night. and after how things went at Rachel's, I think it's best that I stay home. Oh, you spoke a little too sharply to her. There is a little bit of a squiff, but did anything else happen between you two? What happened? She's like, no. She goes, gee, this is terrible. The only consistent thing about Sutton is her inconsistency and shame on me for letting her show me so many times that she has no compassion for me.

1:13:09so now we see a flashback scene of sudden inconsistencies and her being like well maybe you should argue with somebody whose wallet fits

1:13:19Ben Mandelker: yep that's classic it still makes me laugh um so Dorit's like she sent me that text 13 minutes after the party started so is Erica coming? well to my knowledge she is but then the music is like bwom bwom And we go to son's house. You know, this looks real bad. Okay. Because guess who's here? Erica. Erica's like, hey. He's like, I know this looks bad. Okay. But we did not plan this. Okay. Hand the Bible. Hand the Bible. Okay. And you know what I'm not going to do? Lie back to the Bible. I'm going to do it. So I did not know that Erica was going to go, was not going to Dorit's party at all. So she's like, I texted Dorit.

1:14:01I wasn't going. And she's like, oh, I haven't done any of that. Okay. She's going to be mad. She's going to be mad.

1:14:12Ben Mandelker: The horror music was out of control. Gosh, you know it's bad when Erica's decided to skip the main party to go hang out with Sutton instead of Kyle. Wow. That is pretty bad. They must have just told them, like, guys, you can't just not shoot. You've done nothing, especially Erica and Sutton. It's like you guys have brought zero to the season. At least Kyle's been stirring the pot all year. you guys can't just not show up for work so you're going to have to shoot at Sutton's or something you know yeah and Erica maybe was thinking if I go to Kyle's it'll look like I'm just one of Kyle's minions so let me go to Sutton and grin and bear it and get through this so it's a to be continued we'll find out what happens next week which I'm assuming is the finale that'll be episode 18 so we will see yeah fun times Tom is going to Watch what crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors.

1:15:06Ben Mandelker: Ain't no thing like Alison King. Our way is the Amber way. It's the Foster and the Furious. It's Amanda Foster. Whip up a meringue. It's Amanda E. Lemon. It's always automatic with Ashley Otto. Put your hands together for Carly Clap. Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. She's not just a Sheila. She's a Daniela. Itchles. We never miss her call. It's Diane Call. Sunday in the Park with Dylan Clark. Big yay, it's Emily Gauthier Erin McNicholas, she don't miss no trick-a-less You'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones I go, you go, we all go for Hugo Jamie, she has no less namey Sips some scotch with Jessica Trotch She's not a McBee, she's a McBride, Jess McBride She's our favorite streamer, Caroline Peacock Kristen the Piston Anderson Que sera, sera, whatever we'll be, we'll Lauren Silsby She gets an A from us, it's Lindsay D Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino.

1:16:04Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McHenry.

1:16:06Ben Mandelker: Aren't you glad it's Marianne Arns? Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the Berg. This is Livin' with Michelle Vivian. I love-a-ya, Olivia Williamson. She sure is swell. It's Raquel. Yes, we canna. It's Sadana. Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman. Let's share with Sharon Eldridge. Darn skippy, it's tippy. And our super premium sponsors. She's VVIP. It's Amanda V. Can I have a Kavanaugh? It's Anna Kavanaugh. Somebody get us 10 cc's of Betsy MD. We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. Let's get real with Caitlin O 'Neill. Put us on a stretcher. It's Charlotte Fletcher. Hogle your horses.

1:16:47It's Christine Hogle. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily sides.

1:16:54Ben Mandelker: Who, what, why, where, and Gwen Pentland. Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall. We got our wish. It's Jen Plisch. My favorite Murdo, Karen McMurdo. Let's get savage with Laura Wildman. In the study with a candlestick, it's Leslie Peacock. We're ride or die for Lisa Ryder Barron. She's a whiz. It's Liz Sarthy. Always killing it. It's Lola Alkalani. Roger that. It's Marlis Rogers. The incredible edible Matthews sisters. She eases our woes. It's Melissa St. Rose. She's the lady of the house. It's Rachel Sharouse. There's a chance of meatballs. It's Rebecca Cloud. She's our princess. It's Rebecca Prince.

1:17:33Ben Mandelker: Maximum love for Sandy Maximoska. She's the queen bee. It's Sarah Lemke. We cannot tell a lie. It's Sarah Telafson. Shannon out of a cannon Anthony. Please don't stop. It's Soli and Pop. Let's take off with Tamla Plain. Strike a pose. It's Tori Rose. She ain't no shrinking Violet Kuchar. We love you guys.

1:17:59Tell us what's going to happen. All right, everybody. Thanks so much for being here. We will see you next week for the season finale. Bye. Bye.

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1:20:43Thank you.