#3309 RHOA S17E02 Part One: The Waffle Truth

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2:19Ben Mandelker: Watch what crappens, watch what crappens, who cares what happens when there's so much that crappens?

2:35Ronnie Karam: Well, hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens. I'm Ronnie and that's Ben over there. Hello, Ben. Hello, Ronnie. How are you? Happy Monday, everybody. Today we have Amazon Live at 1.30 Pacific Time. It's over on Amazon Live. You can get links to that over on our Instagram link in bio section. If you want this recap on video or you want bonus episodes, this week will be a Top Chef check-in, or you want ad-free listening or a Discord server or our free weekly blog slash recap slash newsletter. Go sign up at patreon.com slash watch what's grappins. And today is Real Housewives of Atlanta, season 17, episode 2.

3:22Ronnie Karam: Something about waffles, I'm sure. Because there were waffles, lots and lots of waffles.

3:27Ben Mandelker: I want waffles, lots and lots of waffles. I want some waffles with you. The episode was called Rumors and Raised Eyebrows. So it was like a generic title. So Bravo couldn't come up with a good pun.

3:44Ben Mandelker: i think they should have done the i want waffle song i think they should have done the who sings that song god who sings that i want money song it's killing me it's one hit wonder the name is oh i thought it would pop into my head and not be special but i couldn't think of it oh well but yeah waffles waffles waffles everywhere waffles in the bed waffles on the plate, waffles in the sky, waffles in the road. Who could be upset? Porses get you now.

4:12Ronnie Karam: Loved it. Or buy now, I guess I should say. Porses buy now. I love that. I thought that would take the whole season. When she showed up with that fake boyfriend last week, I was like, oh, God, here we go. It's a closet season. I don't need another closet season on this. We've already got Beverly Hills. I can't have two closet seasons running at one time, but that closet door swung open.

4:34Ben Mandelker: Let the let the good times roll. Yeah. We got right into it. Into Sway. Wow. Really one-upping Drew's her closeted storyline, which she even acknowledges on the show. I have to say, first of all, I Want Money is by Calloway. Second of all, I'm not going to lie. I really thought last week's episode was boring. I really did not like it. I was trying to have a good attitude on the pod. I was trying to have a good attitude just for myself because I I just, I want Atlanta to, to be great. I thought this week's episode was so good and so funny. I was cracking up. I was in it the whole way. So I feel like last week's episode was maybe just like a getting the, like, here are the new people.

5:17Ben Mandelker: Let's get, let's get the, let's get the wheels turning. And to me, I was totally, I was totally in on this episode. I was cracking up. I think K. Michelle is like a total star. There are a lot of people who probably already know that because they've already been following her. But for someone like me who hasn't really had a lot of exposure to her i get it i see why she is a name and why she was a breakout from the various formats that she was on and um i love that this episode about waffles ended on an infected um

5:47Ronnie Karam: bbl so you know what could go wrong we were just talking on some episode about why bbls stink because someone said bbls are stinky and we were wondering why they stink maybe this is why maybe that's why maybe that's why infected and infected bbl i was um i watched a mini series this weekend called death by lightning and it was about the assassination of president garfield it's garfield right and um it was really good actually and he ends up well chester arthur was the vice president follow up okay yeah yeah and um the he gets shot and the bullet goes into him and there's a black doctor who's there on the scene he's a freedman and he's like i can help you so he starts doing surgery on him and then the white doctor comes in and he's like get the hell out of here black doctor i'm doing this because i'm a white doctor and he's like uh you haven't even cleaned your utensils like you haven't even cleaned your instruments haven't you read the latest uh the latest research that says if you don't clean these properly it can lead to sepsis and infection it's like get out of here black doctor and then of course the president dies because of that and i then i watched atlanta right after and i was like oh my gosh am i not infecting the things that i i'm cleaning my i mean it was like a sign from the universe i'm I'm sorry to make it all about me, but I was like, first a president, and now K.

7:18Ronnie Karam: Michelle's booty? Is anybody doing proper surgeries around here?

7:26Ben Mandelker: I'm obsessed with how you linked K. Michelle's BBL to the assassination of Garfield.

7:34Ronnie Karam: It was like two infections right in a row, and I was like, is this a sign? What's happening?

7:41Ben Mandelker: You know, it reminds me of the fate of Anne Boleyn. I couldn't hurt but feel like if perhaps she had gotten a BBL herself, then maybe Henry would have let her keep her head.

7:52Ronnie Karam: And BBL in.

7:56Ben Mandelker: And BBL in.

8:00Ronnie Karam: Yes. Alright, so we start with a cold plunge. Now, I didn't have high hopes for this episode just from this. I was like, a cold plunge? Same. We need to come up with new Bravo scenes for people to do. I can't with the, come on. It wasn't just a cold plunge.

8:19Ben Mandelker: It wasn't just a cold plunge. It was a Shamia cold plunge, which meant that she was extra Anne Hathaway drama kid about it. So Anne, I mean, Shamia and Pinky both get into these cold plunges and of course they're being really like, look at me, mom, I'm on TV. And Shamia's like, oh, she can you see? She starts seeing the Star Spangled Banner in a way that's just like, annoying i don't know i just have like no tolerance for shamia this season no i was like no this is bad this season's gonna be terrible but luckily that was i think the worst scene of the entire

8:54Ronnie Karam: episode well i like that pinky sang over her so pinky's okay in my book for now so then we go to phaedra getting in the car with aiden and it's very reminiscent mostly because they remind you with their lines but it's very reminiscent of when she was taking him to kindergarten and crying.

9:14Ben Mandelker: And she mentions the clip. And it's so good. Every time they play that clip, I like instantly cry. It is so good.

9:23Ronnie Karam: But then that had me going through memories again too, because I mean, I remember that scene like it was yesterday and this person is now driving a car. What the hell?

9:31Ben Mandelker: I know. I know. They really do their best work in the car, those two. You know, really great scenes. It is crazy. And then there's also So, yeah, they're driving around. Then we cut to Drew and Angela having lunch. And Drew says, my girl, Claudia Jordan, we did a movie together that's coming out. I have to get all the bags. You know, these divorce invoices. I'm like, you don't have to tell us because you got kicked out of your house over the weekend, Drew Sedora.

9:59Ronnie Karam: Yikes. That news was not good. So, she lost custody of the kids. And he got the home. I mean, they're both, I think, having to leave the home. I think they have to sell the home, but until they do, I think she has to leave the home. And she lost custody because she wouldn't send the kids to school, or she wasn't sending the kids to school enough, which is crazy. That's crazy.

10:21Ben Mandelker: Isn't it? That's wild. I can't believe her mom would stand for that, Jeanette. I feel like Jeanette would be like, Drew, what the fuck are you doing?

10:29Ronnie Karam: Yeah, because Jeanette was on here last season and the season before saying these kids need more structure and stuff like that. So I guess she's not listening to Jeanette, but that's sad. You don't want to see anybody lose custody of the kids. And especially to Ralph, like the secret videographer of the family who disappears to Florida. Like, yeah, that's really sad.

10:49Ben Mandelker: So Drew has a premiere that she she's she wants to invite Angela to at the mall. And so they're she's she's going to have that. And we go back to Phaedra named in the car movies.

11:01Ronnie Karam: They do more movies on this show that no one's ever seen. You never heard of it.

11:08Ben Mandelker: You never heard of it. a blockbuster sci-fi monumental film run before well even like look i get like you're making it

11:18Ronnie Karam: on i don't know what it's on actually and i googled it and i still don't know what it's on well first off i googled it look if you're going to name a movie you have to google the name first you know what i mean to see if there's another movie maybe named that and there is in 2020 and that's the only movie that comes up so i had to google run movie drew sudora for this one to come up and i think it was still like third or fourth in the results and it has like one star

11:44Ben Mandelker: on rotten tomatoes and wow that's i can't believe that i can't believe an ensemble film starring um two of the real housewives of atlanta and then the monster from the shape of water only got uh one star the shape of water i think they're like trying to they're trying to get some guillermo del Toro like Juju on their project and I mean like look I love me some Claudia Jordan she is like she's one of my favorite one hit wonders I I thought she was a great housewife I would love to see her back on the show I am not tuning into a sci-fi movie with Claudia Jordan as the headliner no offense like that's just not what I tune in for you know just as I wouldn't necessarily tune in to see well I was gonna say I was gonna say something like I was gonna reverse like I wouldn't want to see deal or no deal with Meryl Streep as one of the briefcase girls but actually I would like to see that so it doesn't really work the other way around but yeah

12:39Ronnie Karam: I'm not yeah I hear you I mean I think the audience heard as well you know the audience heard the title of that movie and they listened yeah yeah yeah because the only place I've heard of Run is here so yeah so we go back to Phaedra and Aiden in the car and she's like high school high school's very different from kindergarten so I need you to really focus. She talks about how the time flies. It is really different from kindergarten. I would also agree. And I like that she's saying it like he's leaving kindergarten and going straight into high school. I know. I know we haven't talked since you went to kindergarten, but listen, high school's going to be a lot harder than that.

13:20Ben Mandelker: Well, now that you've mastered doing the uppercase A, unfortunately, you are now going to be thrown into the history of President Garfield. Good luck.

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15:15Ronnie Karam: She talks about how crazy it is that he's already going to high school. God, just got out of kindergarten, literally. She's like, but he's been driving. I'm not worried about him driving because he's been driving since he was 12 years old. He's actually his dad's designated driver.

15:32Ben Mandelker: Jesus. I was about to say, like freshman year of college, you're not, aren't you like not driving age age? Are you only 15, 14 or 15?

15:40Ronnie Karam: Yeah, he shouldn't be driving yet. I don't know. I grew up next to New Mexico, so I was able to go there at 15 and get my driver's license. Well, actually, you know what? Yeah, because you can get your permit the year before. So I guess I was driving at 14.

15:53Ben Mandelker: but um yeah that's that's what i was wondering about because it looked like he was driving like a permit you know with adults in the car etc but i still was doing the timeline on him but i was like you know to be fair he was born after five months so you know he's just an advanced child and he's going to high school straight out of kindergarten so you know killing it yeah he's

16:14Ronnie Karam: just really good i thought it was funny though because i didn't i mean it's funny and sad because I don't think it was a joke that he's been his dad's designated driver. And as someone who grew up in the 80s, I mean, that's not really that abnormal. My parents were like drunk all the time. They would come home from the country club and be like, you want to drive? Because they'd be driving all over the road. I'd be a kid in the back like, you can't like pull over, you know. And I know you're not supposed to say that, but things were very different in the 80s. It was like short distances maybe were legal.

16:47Ben Mandelker: well i think that people just assume it's like oh it's just a short distance but like the majority of car crashes happen very close to home just so you know by the way in georgia according to google you can uh start driving with a learner's permit at 15 years old yeah i think it's like that all over the country 15 you get your permit it wasn't like that in new york i'll tell you that much but that thing may have changed how old did you guys have to wait i had i had to turned 16 to get my learner's permit. To get your permit? Yeah. Oh, wow. Yeah. They kept us in the oven a little bit longer. And you know what?

17:23Ben Mandelker: I was never excited to drive. My brother has always loved cars. He was like Aiden. He would be driving up and down the driveway. We had a little bit of a long driveway. So he'd always go driving up and down the driveway. He loved driving. The moment that he turned 16, it was the most exciting thing of his life. He had a little business when he was 12 called Car Keys, where he would advise people on cars like he's always been a car really loves them yes he's obsessed obsessed with cars and so when he turned 16 and then like a month later he got his junior license so he was like you know he could drive on his own i turned 16 i was like i don't wanna i liked being driven around i didn't want it was scary i don't want to drive on the road you like i got my car with your mommy and

18:04Ronnie Karam: she'd be like yeah go in there you're gonna have a great time a game day board game day it's gonna be great I don't want to drive it's gonna like you so I then I got my permit and I

18:13Ben Mandelker: literally I just drove for seven months I had that permit I was like I don't want to take that test I don't want to I don't want to do this I don't so finally I in like July I got my birthday's in December in July I did my my test and I became I became the driver that we all know and love today and the irony is that I became an uber driver so I became a prefer moment in my life I was actually a professional driver doing the thing that I hated, but it's just life.

18:38Ronnie Karam: I was like, get the hell out of here. God, the second I could even get on the city bus, I was on it. And I was like,

18:44Ben Mandelker: most people are like that. Most kids are like, well, that's the way it used to be. Was that like, yay independence. But I didn't like it. But now the kids, the kids these days from what I've been told, Gen Z is their Ben's really there. They, they don't really care about driving. Yeah.

19:01Ronnie Karam: Yeah. They don't want to. They're like, I can Uber. Why would I drive? Yeah, great question. These kids. So, um, the producer asked Phaedra, so is he your designated driver now? And she's like, oh, no, I'm not a drunk now. I don't do that at all. Now, I'm a Christian lady. No, he's not my designated driver, but I don't like to drive. So I am excited that he'll be able to drive me now, legally, not drunk, like Apollo, just in case

19:27Ben Mandelker: you guys didn't catch that. Apollo the drunk. So if you see my son driving me, just know I am absolutely definitely not drunk because I don't do that. I just hate driving. That's why my son is driving me around, everyone.

19:40Ronnie Karam: Yeah.

19:41Ben Mandelker: So now we go to a place called the Dirty T. The Dirty T. And it's another one of these wacky Atlanta restaurants that looks kind of crazy. I mean, I feel like we've really let Atlanta have a pass over the years, but so many of these restaurants are so bonkers. The Dirty T. This one's like all like lavender and has just these big poofy chairs and whatever.

20:06Ronnie Karam: Bedazzled teapots, like diamond teapots. I mean, nothing will ever top the womlet, but you know. The womlet was pretty good. But the womlet didn't have diamonds on it. And these teapots. No, that was, yeah.

20:20Ben Mandelker: Yeah. That was, I don't say the womlet, I would order the womlet. The womlet was nothing bad. Like the rest, that restaurant looked normal. I just had a very funny menu selection that Chere really liked yeah and I know that look

20:33Ronnie Karam: I know that the dirty tea is a saying so I get it it's not like I'm not stupid but well I mean I am stupid I get that it's a saying but still like it's a restaurant I just don't know that you want your restaurant named dirty tea it seems the clean tea just tea or give me the tea or something I mean, I don't know, dirty tea.

20:54Ben Mandelker: I don't want to drink that. For people who don't know what dirty tea means, it's sort of like, you know, it's like, it's kind of like, sort of like that gossip. That's, you know, like, it's like the real gossip, kind of like, I heard that the real reason why President Garfield died is because some shitty white doctor was racist and forced his way in and then wound up killing him. You know, that's the dirty tea right there on Garfield. Yeah, but you don't

21:24Ronnie Karam: want to drink dirty tea, you know? I just don't want it around my food. So Kay, Michelle, and Kelly come to meet up with Portia, and Portia's like, even though Kelly and I are like, oil and vinegar? Well, yeah, I'm gonna stick with that. Oil and vinegar? No, no. Why can't Housewives get this right? You would think that so many people who eat salads would be able to get that oil and vinegar do, in fact, go together. That's why you serve them together. They're delicious together.

21:52Ben Mandelker: They're delicious. They don't officially mix, yes, but they are delicious together. Oil and water is what you're looking for. So we see that they were fighting last week, you know. And so Portia's like, I just want to get to a better place and we can be like cool. You know what I'm saying? Like, we don't have to be enemies. So Kelly says, I do want to get to know Portia on another level and this is a really good moment for us to like open up and have fun and rebuild our friendship.

22:21Ronnie Karam: I'm like, okay, relax. So they're talking about Portia's event and how it was good. K. Michelle loved it. And they're talking about Drew and Portia's like, wasn't that funny? Her man on the phone? I mean, how was he in the phone the whole time? Like, what the hell? K's like, because he likes the phone. We all know that men do at this point. He's in my DMs. You know, he's in my DMs saying, oh, you're so fine. And they're like, what? and she's like yeah black swear for crackers and cheese crackers and cheese he's on my phone

22:53Ben Mandelker: i never heard that expression i love her i love her little twang so portia's like um i will say that she is she was not aware i will say she said she was she was not her man and they're like um yeah sure so anyway kelly is like, speaking of the man's, she was like, okay, yeah, speaking of the man's, what's the tea, honey? She goes, well, I literally just like want to have fun and be appreciated and supported. And like, okay. And they're just sort of talking about this and the waiter comes by and Kay Michelle asks for some whiskey in her tea, basically. She's like, I need a little something strong.

23:35Ben Mandelker: It's just tea.

23:37Ronnie Karam: By the way, why don't you just name this restaurant Swear for Crackers and Cheese? I would eat that. I would be there. second.

23:44Ben Mandelker: I would eat that. Crackers and cheese.

23:46Ronnie Karam: So she's putting some whiskey in her tea and Kay is talking about how she is doing something for the Academy of Country Music this week and she's really excited because they are honoring Rissy Palmer, a black woman who's been fighting for African Americans in country music since forever. And also her first country single is coming out in a couple of weeks. She's excited to do that. So Portia's like, I'm so happy for us. I'm not Portia didn't say what she was going to do but you know she's happy for her she got Simon's house so she's like you got a country song coming out I got the Simon's house we're doing great

24:27Ben Mandelker: yeah K. Michelle's like I have a country song coming out I'm performing on stage honoring this legend and Portia's like we're doing great things you were casting the traitors is that what that is what about Kelly

24:40Ronnie Karam: you win it you win an Oscar and your best friends like, oh my God, congratulations to us. Do my lips look bigger? I'm using a lip.

24:49Ben Mandelker: I put on a lip plumper right now. What do you think? You know what? I can't tell. I see your lips too much. I can't either. Kelly, meanwhile, does one of these generic things where she's, you know, Portia's like saying that she's really glad she's in a better place with Kelly. And Kelly's like, I really do want to get to know you because I really feel like we have things in common that I can see, you know, just as mothers as businesswomen. I'm like, okay. I mean, I love Portia, but I don't look at Portia and say, look, that is a very business-forward businesswoman. That's Portia. I'm like, okay.

25:24Ben Mandelker: Okay. So, Portia's saying, yeah, that's true. I'm what? She's got her sheets? She's got all sorts of things. She just always has stuff.

25:34Ronnie Karam: She still has go-naked hair, right? She has hair. I don't know.

25:39Ben Mandelker: like I always feel like it's sort of like one of those things, like she's a celebrity and she just like slaps her name on something. Like so many of the other real housewives. I'm not saying it's not, she's not doing business, but like, it's just funny. I just, I just don't look at Porsche and be like, that's a business woman that I'm going to connect with. Um, no offense to her, you know? Yeah. So Porsche is like, she's saying like, yeah, I think it's true. But I just like, I also think we have to deal with like, you know, that there was, you know, between us, like we couldn't really get to know each other that well, because it's somewhat between us.

26:10Ben Mandelker: You know, when you got a little closer to Shamia, I was like, okay, here it is. Basically, like, I wouldn't be a bitch to you except for the fact that you're friends with Shamia. And Shamia and I will handle our things on our own. And that's between me and Shamia. But honestly, if you want to be friends with her, you can't be friends with me. I love that. She's the fakeness of acting like she's going to keep the Shamia stuff discreet and between the two of them because they're mature and she's taking the high road. But she's not taking the high road. She's basically saying, you better pick a side right now.

26:39Ronnie Karam: Well, she's saying like you were toxic with me because you were friends with Shamia. Like you were being friends with Shamia. So you were being a jerk to me in order to show allegiance to Shamia, basically. And Kelly's like, no, no, no.

27:00Ronnie Karam: And Portia's like, well, but you did an interview and it hurt my feelings. And that's hard to do because you said, yeah, I wish Portia would stop effing people's husbands. And, you know, I think it stings more when someone's saying it and, you know, you're not, you know, you're not clear. And, you know, what you do presently because, you know, she's like, it's not clear that you're doing the same thing presently. And she's like, what? And she goes, yeah, married men. And she goes, who's sleeping with married men? She goes, you're sleeping with married men. She goes, I never slept with a married man.

27:31Ronnie Karam: You've never slept with a married man? I have not. You slept with a married man. I did not sleep with a married man. You did. You're sleeping with a married man right now. I'm not. sleep. You're on top of a married man. That chair is a married man. You're with a married man right now. It's like, what are you talking about?

27:46Ben Mandelker: First of all, I love that Portia announced that it's very hard to hurt her feelings. I'm like, every season there's an issue where Portia has to leave something early or leave something or not show up because her feeling is hurt about something. But also in this case, though, I think what she says is merit because Kelly went on the after show and said she said to Shamia, like Portia needs to stop sleeping with married men. Right. I think Kelly's fatal flaw here is that she was being shady as hell on the after show. And she needs to own up to him and be like, Oh, you know what? I probably, I went too far.

28:21Ben Mandelker: I was just trying to be funny and I went too far. Like that's literally all she has to say, but she's like, what? No, I never said that Portia. Well,

28:30Ronnie Karam: she doesn't tonight saying it. Oh yeah. You're no, she doesn't tonight saying it. Does she? But she's kind of like,

28:36Ben Mandelker: what? What do you say? Well, she said, I think later on, she's just like, I never said that. Like, she doesn't clear it up. She never, even if she doesn't explicitly deny it, she never says, I took it too far. Or that was, you're right, that I crossed a line with that. Like, she never does anything like that. So, you know, I mean, you're going to get a reaction.

29:00Ronnie Karam: She didn't really have a chance to, because Portia was like, you said, I slept with a married man. But let's be clear, you're the one sleeping with married men. So she didn't really leave it open for an apology. She just was like, oh, you want to say I sleep with married men? You sleep with married men. Okay, we can be friends now. And she's like, what? And she's like, BET weekend at the award show. You didn't sleep with a married man. And she's like, no. No, you did not. I did not. You didn't. I didn't. Did not. Did not. Not did. Not did. Why are you saying not did? You said not did. Why are you repeating me?

29:31Ronnie Karam: Stop repeating me, dirty tea. So Kelly's like, I absolutely didn't. and he slept with you and he changed his clothes and then he went to meet his wife at his house. I'm speaking of fact. He changed his clothes too? You've got some information. Who was she sleeping with? Like the one of the ushers? Why did he ever change the clothes?

29:56Ronnie Karam: Was it at the award show? You guys can't do this and then just leave it in the air. Who was she sleeping with? Where did she sleep with him? you know what clothes did he change into and in fact kelly says well a fact comes with a receipt

30:10Ben Mandelker: so let's see the receipt and porsche tells us kelly kelly kelly kelly kelly kelly kelly kelly

30:16Ronnie Karam: you are looking at the receipt okay i am with i was with a friend of mine and he received a text

30:22Ben Mandelker: from a married man and this man is telling him oh my gosh i just asked kelly so porsche is basically like not only did you sleep with a married man man but while you were there in the bed you were on the phone with someone and they heard you say something about dennis yeah what the guy heard kelly talking about dennis on the phone what kind of gossip is she sleeping with anyway

30:48Ronnie Karam: that this guy's in the bed calling his friend and being like hey i just fucked kelly and she's talking shit about Dennis on the phone. I mean, is this just Derek? Derek Lanks.

31:04Ben Mandelker: I think who, who is she fucking? I mean, I'm trying to piece it together. Cause I can imagine a guy being like, yo, I just slept with Kelly from real houses of Atlanta. Isn't that crazy? And like, that's like something like I can see a guy texting a guy because as we've said before, straight men are the biggest gossips. But then like, I don't know why he would say, and then she was talking about Dennis. That doesn't seem right. Unless when Portia was with her friend and the text came in, maybe Portia said, maybe the guy said, oh, I'm with Portia right now. That's hilarious. He said, oh, that's so funny because she was just talking about Dennis in the bed.

31:41Ben Mandelker: Maybe that's how it came up. But I'm really putting in way too much thought into this. The whole thing sounds a little crazy. So Kelly is like -

31:49Ronnie Karam: Did you read the - Dennis and Kelly hate each other. Did you read the thing about them this weekend? It was really funny. He tweeted, damn, was this the opening for the restaurant that's already closed? Rose. Yikes. And she wrote, I see why your baby mama likes girls now, heart. Bye, Demisha.

32:10Ben Mandelker: Well, look at Kelly. Getting in the mix. In the mix. But you know what?

32:15Ronnie Karam: Who cares if people talk about Dennis, first of all? You're not even with him. And second of all, you did sleep with a married man. His name is Simon.

32:21Ben Mandelker: you're living in his house now so i mean that's the truth that is the truth too so uh portia's like this is all a text i can get it and kelly's like please get it and portia's like he said to the guy he said she says on the she's on the phone with portia and so that's why the guy ended up saying to me like oh kelly's in the bed with you know so and so and you guys are lying and so k michelle is watching back and forth she's just sipping her tea and she's like i'm confused as hell i don't know why who kelly slept with i'm just in here looking at portia like this is so unfair talking about this lady here not the hot pocket.

32:53Ben Mandelker: I'm just happy. I'm not getting swear to cheese and crackers on that one.

32:59Ronnie Karam: So Portia's like, well, I'm talking about the guy that you met on the flight and then he went to your room and I wish I had that kind of confidence just to fuck someone off a flight. Yeah. God. Or that kind of sexiness. I feel like housewives get that a lot. Remember when Kyle was like some guy tried to fuck. He wrote on his napkin like you want to fuck me or go back to your boring life or whatever. What did he write, Kyle Richards? It was something like that. You can either fuck me right now or go back to your stupid, boring, plane life. I didn't do it. I mean, we're on a plane.

33:34Ben Mandelker: My life isn't boring. I'm picking out plates for my daughter's wedding. So Kelly is saying, let me be very clear. If I'm going to screw and bang anybody, do you think that I'd be thinking about Borshi and Dennis? Have you seen him lately? And then they show this really bad picture of Dennis.

33:50Ronnie Karam: so portia's like and if we're gonna eventually be cool i want you to acknowledge to treat me i mean i want you to continue to treat me how i treat you so which by the way i don't think you've treated kelly tremendously well but that's okay so kelly is like i think this is a game of

34:06Ben Mandelker: oh i want to be your friend so i'm gonna be fake i'm gonna say i want to be your friend but i'm gonna actually just use that as an excuse to drop this bullshit and yeah i'm just i'm just having a

34:15Ronnie Karam: scene with you so I can make you look stupid and then go back to my normal life so um Kelly's like I didn't talk about you in the press and she goes yes you did it was the after show she goes oh well the after show is not press that's that's very different and she's like I she goes it wasn't that sweetie and she's like um I have a name sweetie and she goes well so do I I don't speak on your name so whatever so Kelly's like okay so now she's going around saying I'm sleeping with people's husbands but if you just met the guy on the plane why is that my responsibility to know whether or not you're married i just know you're some guy from a plane i think that's the guy's

34:53Ben Mandelker: fault that is unless he's wearing a band but i agree if it is a fling then you know then that's

35:00Ronnie Karam: that's fair and also by the way your hobby is i mean if your hobby is being married to somebody how should that affect me i'm just fucking some guy on a plane i don't need to know everything about you good god what are we sharing facts i also just think that like uh it's the person

35:17Ben Mandelker: who's married who created the bigger bigger exactly like i don't expect people to take

35:24Ronnie Karam: all of my hobbies if your hobby is being married that's fine it's not like i'm gonna fuck you and be like you know what i'm really trying to get into gardening like nobody cares we're just fucking i don't i don't think i should have to know about your dalliances with your wife

35:37Ben Mandelker: so now these two are going to get into an argument of stupid semantics that don't even make sense because kelly's denying that by saying this stuff on the after show it wasn't in the press it was on the after show a heavily edited online only featurette that goes with the show it's not the press and so portia says well i didn't say what i just said in the press i mean we're speaking privately now privately in a restaurant on camera and from the nation you guys are both being messy in front of cameras it doesn't matter if it's press or not press it's on

36:11Ronnie Karam: camera for the world to see this is public we are at the dirty tea and she's like this isn't private porsha she says yes we are it's as private when you as when you said what you said okay but you're oh my gosh so kelly's like i mean this is as public as we can get okay we're in a public restaurant in a public space with public people across from a public's.

36:35Ben Mandelker: If we were across from a public bar and grill, that would have been great. What's going on over there? You slow with a married person? What? So Kay Michelle is like, are you okay, Kelly? She's like, yeah, I mean, I'm good. Why? She's like, I mean, I feel like you're not okay. She's like, well, you know, I don't like to be lied about. So Portia's like, oh, I didn't mean to make it awkward. Maybe I shouldn't have done that. Oh, well, oops.

36:58Ronnie Karam: It's like, well, as long as you feel good, Portia. She goes, well, like in my mind, if you're going to speak on me that way, then, you know, I could have done a lot to you that I didn't do. You just did it. So you did it and you did it under the guise of making peace, which is even worse. So Kelly just wanted to get her licks in

37:17Ben Mandelker: and now she's happy because she got it off her chest. She didn't like what Kelly had said. So now she retaliated. She got some punches in and now Portia's just sitting there with a, she's happy. She was like sitting back. She's relaxed. She's like, great. now we can be friends and kelly is sitting there literally shattered you can see on her face she's like oh my god especially because kelly's also dealing with this contentious ex so she's sitting there and now porsha's being like oh yeah well um you know i could have done i could have been worse and you know we could hug and k michelle's like um all this is some bullshit if you ask me what's the part what's the purpose of any of this going on like and why am i stuck here in the middle

37:54Ronnie Karam: swearing cheese and crackers so she's still in that season one like trying to make peace with everyone phase which is so funny because i can't wait to see her get pissed off at these people it's not going to be because it's always the sweet ones she's like okay we've all got stuff here we're not happy with okay and everybody you know we got some crumpets and shit we got some drinks and we got stuff going on can we get some cheers okay crumpets and shit there's another one you could name the restaurant. Crumpets and shit. Crumpets and shit. Oh, I would go there in a second.

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39:24Ben Mandelker: I had my first crumpet last year. I never had a crumpet before. It was divine. Why don't we have more crumpets in America? Why are we like a non -

39:32Ronnie Karam: What are crumpets? I think of croutons, but I know that that's not what they are. Are they cookies?

39:36Ben Mandelker: Crumpets are like English muffins, except it's almost like, there's a difference in how they're made, but basically you put this sort of like this batter in like a ring mold in a pan, and the holes come sort of like with a pancake you wait for the bubbles to come through but the crumpet is kind of like if it all was the inside of the English muffin if that makes sense. An English muffin is solid on the outside but you cut it open you've got the nooks and crannies the crumpet is sort of like that all around. Nooks and crannies. And yeah, I apologize. Nooks and crannies. That's a great one. I'd eat there.

40:14Ben Mandelker: I'd eat there too. I apologize by the way to all the British people who are like That's really not what a crumpet is. But that was my impression of it. It was just nooks and crannies everywhere. It was so good. And I don't know why they're literally not adopted by Americans anymore. Maybe it is. Maybe in the South. The South has all sorts of baked goods. Maybe they're big in Georgia or something like that.

40:36Ronnie Karam: Porned Earth is super expensive in America to adopt a crumpet. A crumpet is a small circular British griddle bread. There, boom. I loglined it.

40:46Ben Mandelker: Sarah McLachlan is going to do late night. commercials. For$1 a month, you can adopt a crumpet. Did you see an image? Look at the picture of a crumpet. It's based like an English muffin with bullet holes in it. It's a shot English muffin. It was President

41:04Ronnie Karam: Crumpet.

41:09Ben Mandelker: Crumpet loved his crumpets. That crumpet has sepsis. Stop popping your blackheads, okay?

41:18Ronnie Karam: So now, now, now Porsche is just all like, aren't we friends now? That was fine. Okay, let's toast. I'll toast with sugar now because I'm sweet. And Kelly's just looking at her like seriously. So then she's like, oh, you're going to give me a hug like you gave Drew. And they're, they just start laughing. So they hug and Kay Michelle's laughing. She's like, I can't even stand you guys. You fight like that. And then you just stand up and hug. Like what the hell is going on with you people?

41:46Ben Mandelker: Yeah, they hug. but you can really see that Kelly's face is crestfallen. And Portia's like,

41:53Ronnie Karam: so you're ready where you need to be? Okay, come on, let's hug, let's hug, let's hug.

41:56Ben Mandelker: So Kelly's like, you think I could just like body slam that big bitch? Have you ever seen her ass? Like, seriously, no, I couldn't body slam her. I might as well hug her so I can go on with my life. But will you go on with your life? Because we know you will be talking shit soon enough behind her back.

42:14Ronnie Karam: Yeah, you leave and then you start getting more and more pissed. Like, I know she didn't just come on camera and accuse me of that and then hug me. What the hell? So now we go to Pinky's house and we see a home scene with Pinky. She's with Derek, her husband, and their kids. They're making mac and cheese. And they're talking about, he's like giving her mac and cheese advice. And she's like, yeah, I don't need you to help me with mac and cheese. Hi. Okay. I own Pinky's. I'm Pinky Cole. Have you not read Forbes? 100 under 100.

42:46Ben Mandelker: she's like I don't need any help he's like um okay but here's a tip Derry get the fuck out of here um so Pinky's like me and my husband we have been together for five years we fell in love and then I got pregnant three months after I met him and then do as I say not as I do so we ended up having three kids biologically and Derek had two older daughters and blah blah blah blah family family family children grew success etc so she's like happy happy happy happy happy happy and I'm sorry

43:14Ronnie Karam: but your for your husband's first scene he's mansplaining mac and cheese to his wife who's a chef so i'm not i'm not a fan of derek so far so i have to say i can't i can't take someone being bossy about mac and cheese to a mother you think a mother doesn't know how to make mac and cheese

43:32Ben Mandelker: derek go have a seat sir yeah but he's been living with vegan mac and cheese for so long i think he's just try that's true like be like please vegan mac and cheese is a different it's a different

43:44Ronnie Karam: beast that's true like oh nutritional yeast and oat milk can't wait yeah i think i i'm gonna let

43:53Ben Mandelker: him be a little antsy about the mac and cheese i'm gonna you know i was vegan for about a week

43:58Ronnie Karam: um and it was really really hard i mean i respect anybody who does that because it is really hard. And what broke me was mac and cheese. I made like three different versions because there are some things like I can do this if I can have this, right? Like I can be on a diet if I can occasionally have some ice cream or, you know, you make deals with yourself. But I tried three different mac and cheeses, vegan recipes, and I'm sorry, but I just couldn't do it. I was like, I'm sorry to every animal who's ever lived, but I cannot be completely on your side because of mac and cheese. Nutritional yeast, stop it.

44:31Ronnie Karam: Stop it. I don't know. They They must have a really good PR agent because they are still around and people are still trying to convince me that that shit is good. That shit is not good. It tastes like toe fungus. I mean, I wouldn't know what toe fungus, but you know what I mean. It's just, it's not good.

44:45Ben Mandelker: No. Nutritional yeast does not have a good PR agent because if they had a good PR agent, they wouldn't call themselves nutritional yeast. I mean, can we get it? That's true. If Patagonian's toothfish could improve itself to Chilean sea bass, can we get an upgrade for a nutritional yeast? Can we just call it like yeast dough or yego or - Like please cheese or - Or just like call it just something fun like blue teak or I don't know.

45:14Ronnie Karam: But I think vegan people like the name nutritional yeast because they're like, look, I'm not giving into pleasure. I'm eating something called nutritional yeast. It's like, do you want a fucking award? Like, let's deliver you a gold medal to your home right now because you're eating something called nutritional yeast. Like, oh, wow, you did it. Good for you. You're doing this for everybody in the world. No, they want it for them. It's the martyrdom of the name. I think that's why it's successful.

45:41Ben Mandelker: It's time to fix it. I personally don't actually have an issue with nutritional yeast, but I do have an issue with its branding. I think that's like, it just could not be a less appetizing ingredient than to call it nutritional yeast. When you hear nutritional, you already think it's not going to taste good. When you hear yeast, you think of a lot of different things. Infections. And I just think infections. Yeast, you know, like yeast sounds really good in specific contexts, like baking. Ooh, it's a yeasted donut. Yum. But if you say, hey, you know what we should add to this pasta to make it like seem like there's Parmesan in it?

46:17Ben Mandelker: Let's add some yeast. It's like, no, no, no, no, ma 'am. No, ma 'am.

46:22Ronnie Karam: Yeah, nutritional doesn't sound good yeast. I don't even like it in the context of bread. There's a bagel place called Yeasty Boys. And I just think it's like, it's gross. Just Bagel Boys or something. Why don't we have to concentrate on the... Anyway, the point is she's making mac and cheese. She gives us her backstory and how she's had all these kids back to back. And she's Jamaican and her mother was a very hard worker. And she worked four jobs every single day and showed her what it meant to be a boss. So she started Slutty Vegan in 2018 in her two-bedroom apartment. And it was a ghost kitchen.

46:55Ronnie Karam: but then she got a food truck and then there would be 500 people in line in the day and then she built a hundred million dollar brand but the people that she put in place couldn't go where she needed them and she was 20 million in debt and then she bought her company back after losing it for 43 days so this was quick too this that's why this episode surprised me because last week i was like okay so we're just gonna lie the whole year because pinky's been going through a lot of stuff financially that's all over the press. Porsche's been with a girlfriend for a while. There's all this stuff that's happening and I was like, okay, so we're just going to lie.

47:30Ronnie Karam: I have a Porsche as a boyfriend and this lady's got a zillion dollars. And then this week they were like, okay, no, this is the honest episode. Porsche's really with a woman. This woman's really broke. Drew's really miserable. Kelly's really broke too. This week they came in with the honesty and I respect it because normally it takes a season a whole season for them to get through this shit yeah because there

47:52Ben Mandelker: are a lot of really unsavory headlines about pinky cole people on online are talking about how she doesn't play her pay her employees and then there's just her house was seized three weeks ago yada yada yada i don't know what the truth is but i was actually back i think i think

48:07Ronnie Karam: it was like a rental property that was she was behind on but yeah i think she got it back but

48:12Ben Mandelker: yeah the government was like it smells like nutritional yeast in here you can have it back

48:16Ronnie Karam: It's worse than can be. We cannot get the smell out of the house. Just take it back. We're either going to condemn it or you take it back.

48:24Ben Mandelker: Take it. Just take it. Yeah, but I actually was, I agree. I was appreciative that she acknowledged that she has massive debt. And because I feel like there's so many articles about that. And last week she came in being like, I run this city. And I think a lot of people were like, oh, you're a faker. But now she's like, no, I'm hugely, hugely in debt. So, um, she's got a pop-up today and everything. And she's gonna, she's talking about how she's got an, she's got a new president. She's basically restarting her business. She's gonna start it from scratch again, reboot it. It's gonna be great. So she sits down with Derek and, um, she's like, I, she, she does not want to build more corporate stores.

49:05Ben Mandelker: Cause he's like, you know, you got to build more corporate stores because the franchise has really taken off. She's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I don't want to do that. We got to do more franchises. and he's like, well, you know I've been in business longer than you, right? She goes, you have not. He owns Big Dave's Cheese Steaks and Derek is the number six in the country of fastest growing restaurants, which is very impressive, but I mean, let's not forget that over at Rhode Island, Ashley's husband has the number two celebrity owned coffee shop or restaurant in the entire nation. So let's not get too cocky over there, Derek.

49:44Ronnie Karam: Yeah, that's true. And then there's also like big mama's or like hot mama's pizza where the wife is like, I'm hot. Put my hot picture up with the pizza. It's like the sexy wife posing over the pizza. So and she's a celebrity now. So watch out, Ashley. Watch out, everybody.

50:02Ben Mandelker: Is Big Dave's Cheesesteaks Like is that Like there's also like Dave's Hot Chicken is that Like a branding issue that there's two Daves and they're hawking Fast casual food Run

50:20Ronnie Karam: This whole episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta Is about branding It's like a branding lecture from us You name your movie run you name your restaurant to dirty tea. Everybody's named Dave. Okay.

50:33Ben Mandelker: We have some hard questions for these people. Sort of hard questions that should have been asked to that doctor who tended to Garfield. That unequipped doctor with his nasty ass tools. Yes.

50:49Ronnie Karam: Congratulations, you've reached the end of part one of a two-part recap. For part two, go look for the recap that says part two. See you over there, suckers.

51:01Ben Mandelker: Watch what Crapins would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alison King. Our way is the Amber way. It's the Foster and the Furious. It's Amanda Foster. Whip up a meringue. It's Amanda E. Lemon. It's always automatic with Ashley Otto. Put your hands together for Carly Clapp. Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt.

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51:33Ben Mandelker: she don't miss no trickless you'll never hide from heidi eleanor jones i go you go we all go for hugo jamie she has no less namey sip some scotch with jessica trotch she's not a mcb she's a mcbride jess mcbride she's our favorite streamer caroline peacock kristin the piston

51:52Ronnie Karam: Anderson. Que sera, sera, whatever we'll be, we'll Lauren Sillsby. She gets an A from us, it's Lindsay D. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McHenry.

52:05Ben Mandelker: Aren't you glad it's Marianne Arns?

52:07Ronnie Karam: Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the Berg.

52:11Ben Mandelker: This is Livin' with Michelle Vivian.

52:13Ronnie Karam: I love a ya, Olivia Williamson.

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52:18Ronnie Karam: Yes we canna, it's

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52:32Ben Mandelker: Can I have a Kavanaugh? It's Anna Kavanaugh. Somebody get us 10 cc's of Betsy MD.

52:37Ronnie Karam: We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. Let's get real with Caitlin O 'Neill. Put us on a stretcher, it's Charlotte Fletcher. Hogle your horses, it's Christine Hogle. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily sides.

52:53Ben Mandelker: Who, what, why, where, and Gwen Pentland. Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall. We got our wish. It's Jen Plish. My favorite Murdo, Karen McMurdo. Let's get savage with Laura Wildman. In the study with a candlestick, it's Leslie Peacock. We're ride or die for Lisa Ryder Barron. She's a whiz. It's Liz Sarthy. Always killing it. It's Lola Alkalani. Roger that. It's Marlis Rogers.

53:17Ronnie Karam: The Incredible Edible Matthews Sisters. She eases our woes. It's Melissa St. Rose. She's the Lady of the House. It's Rachel Scherouse. There's a Chance of Meatballs. It's Rebecca Cloud. She's our Princess. It's Rebecca Prince.

53:32Ben Mandelker: Maximum love for Sandy Maximoska. She's the Queen Bee. It's Sarah Lemke. We Cannot Tell a Lie. It's Sarah Tell of Son. Shannon, out of a cannon, Anthony. Please don't stop. It's Soli and Pop. Let's take off with Tam La Plaine. Strike a pose, it's Tori Rose.

53:49Ronnie Karam: She ain't no shrinking Violet Kuchar. We love you guys.

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55:31Ronnie Karam: Cuando cumples 45, te toca soplar muchas velas y examinarte contra el cáncer de colon.

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