#3311 RHORI S1E03: Discount Disco

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2:22Ben Mandelker: Watch what happens. Watch what happens. Who cares what happens when there's so much that happens? Well, hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens. I'm Ronnie. That is Ben. Hello, Benoony. How you doing there, buddy? How are you? Good. Everybody, welcome to Real Housewives of Ruta Landi. If you want this on video or you want bonus episodes, this week we'll be Top Chef. or if you want ad-free listening or a Discord server access, which is a fun place to go talk, or a free weekly newsletter slash blog recap thing, go over to patreon.com slash watch what crappens. And today is Real Housewives of Rhode Island, Season 1, Episode 3, Saturday Night Fever Dream.

3:14It is our second Studio 54 party in a week on Bravo. They're really leaning into that Studio 54 time.

3:23Ben Mandelker: What was the other one? Rachel's Zoe's party on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. You're right. You're right. Well, here we are in episode three, and we finally got our taglines. Actually, we had our taglines for Atlanta, it just occurred to me. We forgot to even say what they were. Okay, well, next week on Atlanta, we'll give you guys the taglines. this week we here are the Rhode Island taglines we start with Kelsey who says who needs a sugar daddy when my life is this sweet like your life is that sweet because of your sugar daddy I hate to break it to you so you have a sugar daddy and that is why your life is sweet yes yes and you're also cheating on the sugar daddy blatantly on TV which is ballsy I gotta say I have to say like i love the ballsiness to basically be hatching a murder plot on tv like these guys are gonna plan to commit murder and like get the guy's money right and a hundred percent they totally seem like they're gonna screw they're gonna totally murder this guy i'm so glad you said that it does seem like that yes like we've seen this movie before girls in the with the sugar daddy she's upset he's within he likes the other the other wife more the other girlfriend more doesn't treat her with respect.

4:44Ben Mandelker: She feels trapped. She meets a hot new guy with a big booty. And then they decide, you know what? We're going to rob him, go off to Mexico. Like it's happening. It's like, it's right here. It's all happening. Well, she didn't even meet the guy with the booty. She's already been with the guy. She's known the guy for years and years. So yeah, it's like one of those, okay, you go get the rich guy. We'll kill the rich guy. And they would have done it, but the guy's always out of town. They can just never get him. They're just, they're too regional. They're like, oh, we would kill him, but we just can't make our way down to Florida.

5:13airlines. God, ever since they changed the seating on Southwest Airlines.

5:19Ben Mandelker: Look at me. Well, unfortunately, we can't take our gun through security anymore, so it's been real hard. So Rula's like, I have a blessed life and I'm a loyal wife. Yeah, but your husband's not loyal. What are you talking about being loyal? You're a sucker. Okay, that's what you need to say. But I I'm a sucker. My lips pucker and I'm a sucker. You know your husband is cheating on you. He doesn't even deny it right now. Leave that man. What is wrong? What is going on over there? Do I need to go pick you up? Because I will. Seriously. My Lebanese sister. I will. I know. I was so excited for you that they had that whole scene of Lebanese women getting together.

5:59Ben Mandelker: Especially that one lady. Oh, I love her. We need to see more of her. Then we have Alicia who says, why settle for just a slice when you can have the whole damn pie? A pie. Slice. Why have a slice? You have a pie. I was sort of hoping she didn't say something about a cracker. Why not get a cracker? Yeah. You know, that's the way the cookie crumbles. That's why I also have a cracker. Yeah. I mean, I don't know. I like hers because I feel that way. And that's how I get pizza. I eat the whole damn pie. I agree. I just did it the other day. It was painful. I was with you. I shouldn't be able to eat that much pizza because I'm on a GLP one, but I did.

6:38I somehow did it. We had a lot of pizza together the other night.

6:42Ben Mandelker: It was great. Oh, I did after that as well because I got additional. Yeah. Like I'm a food addict. So it's like heroin addicts, you know, like you have a taste and then you're like, I'm back. I'm back. So I had that pizza and it was like ever since then I've been eating pizza and chocolate reasons of all things. Oh, I love a chocolate reason. So anyway, yeah, that's a little personal, but that's where I'm at. So, um, Alicia. Yeah. Okay. We did her. So Ashley's like, talk about TMI chocolate reasons. Ooh, you crossed the line. Binging. I'm basically binging. I'm going down a dark path. That's what I'm saying.

7:16Um, and Ashley is like, my life is like a rom-com when I'm not crying. I'm laughing.

7:25Ben Mandelker: Rom-coms are dead. Rom-coms are dead. Just want to let you know that rom-coms are dead, Ashley. and we have Rosie he goes I used to report the news but now I'm the headline well this must be a slow news day seriously what news is that you're not even the headline on this show what are you talking about speaking with the old basketball player what's the headline I used to have a local lifestyle show on Saturday afternoons on the Rhode Island television station but now I'm the headline on said station on Saturday news reports and then joe allen's like i'm not trying to be mean i just mean what i say and finally liz in the ocean state i dispense the weed and the truth all right my favorite let's see i think ashley's maybe my not ashley's not ashley's alicia's i think leech was my favorite why settle for a slice when you can have the whole pie yeah that's a good way to live life so rosie and rich are washing the pink jeep outside and what what's with people on bravo washing their own cars the past few weeks it's been erica jane joe from southern hospitality uh now this person why am i subjected to people washing their own cars these are supposed to be shows about rich people minus southern hospitality yeah well you know this economy even the rich people have to wash their own cars i guess so they're washing it and then joellen and gary are drinking wine by their pool and she's still pissed that brian sent an email to her work trying to get her fired from the esthetician machine rental store whatever she does yes and then they tried to get me to not deliver a laser oh they've got another thing coming and then we see Liz and Jerry they're biking through Roger Williams Park but we got GoPros going and Jerry's like nice butt babe baby's got a little back there okay too early to go skinny dipping come on Jerry and then we go back to Ashley and Jared and they go to Ashley is visiting Rosie and Rich and so they're saying hello and everything and Rosie's like my god our house I mean here was the plan I was like I'm selling my condo and I'm gonna like I'm gonna sell my condo and he was like I'm gonna sell one of my condos and we're like okay let's buy a house and then so Rich finds like a one bed one bath over a three car garage and he's like I'm by the way why do you have a three car garage with one bed one bath above it okay that's different I don't understand the logistics of that it's a straight guy built it that's how straight guys are they'll like get a BMW but then live in a cardboard box at the same time so it's for three people um so but then he's like but now we want to add 5 000 square feet to it like rich really likes to flip houses and so like he'll flip one and then it's like he's done with that and he sells that and he'll go to another one but like i wasn't planning on that being my new lifestyle choice yeah well you married a flipper that's what you're gonna do so the men are outside because they're men you know and jared's like oh wow you want to talk about square footage on this one you don't have to make that noise here bro okay just be uh just be confident be confident in yourself uh yeah so rosie is uh she's saying you know so by the way um i haven't talked to you since the winery i mean for the most part we did have a pretty nice day right now she's like yeah it was nice why am i crying right now i don't know but honestly i i feel like the majority of the lunch, there was just like, there were so many questions and like follow-up questions I could have asked, but I didn't.

11:09Ben Mandelker: She was like, yeah, but I do think it was crazy the way that Kelsey admitted polyamory. And then Ashley's like shocked by this because she's like, you know, at one point, like Rosie says like, oh, you walk like a polyamorous duck. You sound like a polyamorous duck. You quack like a polyamorous duck. You're a polyamorous duck, which by the way, I like the idea of a polyamorous duck. But then Ashley is also like shocked by this she's i forget what she says but she says something like um this is like super polyamorous like oh my god she's like in a polyam you're on the bachelor no kidding a literal show about polyamory but even worse you were on the bachelor in paradise which is like you're literally dating five people at one time and so is he i know ashley acting like oh my god that's crazy from the world of The Bachelor.

11:59You were one of 30 people dating one guy, Ashley.

12:03Ben Mandelker: You were in polyamory the game. I mean, what are you talking about? So she's like, wow, plot twist of the century. And Rosie says, I actually felt bad for Joellen because I never saw that one coming because of the whole ruler thing. And then we go back to Joellen talking to her husband, Gary. And she's like, yeah, the other day when we were at the vineyard, I mean, we did all these things. We're on the bus. We had so much fun. And then literally after the vineyard tour, Kelsey's like, by the way, in about seven seconds, Rula's gonna be at lunch. And now, I don't know that she and Liz, you know, Liz and Kelsey all went to dinner like a couple days before, and I just wish that somebody had said something to me.

12:41Ben Mandelker: So now we go back to Liz and Jerry bike riding, and Liz's like, Jerry, why are you so far behind me? And he's like, uh, just relax, and baby, maybe you should do the same. Well, as you know, it's almost impossible for me to relax. Come on, Jerry. It's like, whoa, was there any drama? Yeah, the drama was all mine. Alicia's like asking about the wombers. And you know what? It's all bullshit, Jerry. So she's like, the wombers are about Dino and me. Like we have this torrid affair. It's a mortifying accusation. You wonder everywhere you go, you know, you go shopping or you go here and you're like, what are they really thinking of me?

13:23Well, you've got a braid on top of your head and you're drinking out of a silver chalice from medieval times. So I think that no matter when you walk into a store, people are going to wonder what the fuck is going on with you.

13:34Ben Mandelker: I think at all times, people are like, what is this lady? Who is this lady? Who is this cartoon character who just walked in? You're like a housewives version of a Spartacus extra. Like, yeah, people are wondering what's going on. It just gets to be too much Jerry And you have to have a good friend of mine Like Alicia just set me off He's like yeah I get where you're coming from Jerry and I spent every waking And sleeping minute together for 14 years And then Jerry started his passion Of sport fishing That passion took him away Three weeks out of four for a few years What is this like 1813 He went on a whaling expedition Why is it taking him away for three weeks out of four Every month How is that possible You have a man who goes sports fishing three weeks out of four?

14:24What? Moby Dick is dead. It's too late. He's Captain Ahab out there. He's like, I will find that whale. I will find that whale. Like, yo, we've been through the shit, but I love Dino. You know, he's been on our lives for 20 years. When Jerry was going to be gone, it wasn't uncommon for him to actually call Dino and say, look after her vagina. So, you know, we would be out three or four times a week sometimes. I'm sure people spotted us at clubs, you know, sometimes just the two of us. Ooh.

14:56Ben Mandelker: I mean, I know it looks cool, sexy story and everything. But look at me and look at Dino. You say sexy, sexy, sexy, right? But really, at the end of the day, you get spray tans for spray tans, okay? So let's move on from it. There's so many other amazing things happening, coming up in our lives. I mean, the Studio 54 party, Jerry. He's like, yeah. Jerry's turning 54. He loves music. He loves to dress up. He loves to dance. 54 at Studio 54. So we see a flashback, and Liz invites everyone. Gotta come to the Studio 54 party, girls. So now we're back to this pond, and he's like, you're beautiful, babe.

15:43Ben Mandelker: I'll give you that. I am one lucky man. It's like, yeah, thank you. Probably should have worn a bra today, huh? So now we go back to Rosie's, and they're talking about their outfits. That's going to be also like her line of greeting cards. Every card will just be a different image of something. It'll be like a sheep on a treadmill. I'll be like, probably should have worn a bra today. Happy birthday. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappens commercial. show. Vanderpump Villa's back, and this season it heads to the English countryside at Rosecraft Park, a new playground for luxury, indulgence, and plenty of chaos, all under the watchful eye of Lisa Vanderpump.

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18:14so we go back to the other conversation and Ashley is like oh my god Jared has no bell bottoms I mean how can I marry a guy without bell bottoms does he even love me it's like you want to see riches I'm really nervous about tomorrow I mean what if they bring Rula she's like oh my god Rula's mad at Joellen oh but she's gonna have to see her at the disco party what if people fight oh

18:38Ben Mandelker: so now we're back with Rula's Joellen and Gary and Joellen's like I think that they're really all gonna be at Liz's Studio 54 party I was like well good I can talk to him then and so she says Brian Rula's husband told my job that I am accusing him of having an affair which he is by the way and Brian wrote an email to the marketing team which I then I who then voted to me, I'm like, well, Joellen, they're in marketing. They're all about getting the message out. Sorry. Also, I love that he sent it to the marketing team. How is that trying to ruin your life? Wouldn't you send it to the CEO or the owner of the company?

19:13I'm sending it to marketing. That'll fuck her.

19:20Ben Mandelker: Just in case they were going to put her on the brochure, not so much anymore. Did he just go to the website? Did he just go to the website and look for the contact email? For inquiries. He must have. He must have. Because those emails are going to go to the marketing team, right? Contact at penisbotox.com, whatever it is. Yeah, like hello at scrotox.com. Hello at crowsfootbegone.com. Yeah. So the email said, I would like to file a complaint about me. And then he reached out to another colleague at my company who then reached out to HR who got back to me through my boss because HR can't tell me.

20:05What? Wait. HR can't tell you? He then reached out to HR. First of all, what a rat. Who the fuck is this guy? And when are you going to roast his balls? And then HR got back to her through her boss because HR can't tell me. So HR called her boss and then her boss told her? What do you mean HR can't tell you? Yeah.

20:25Ben Mandelker: What? did they run out of their resources? What is going on in Rhode Island? Here's something I have to say about this show. I think this show's funny and unique in a way, but I don't know what the fuck anybody's talking about on this show. I don't understand the logistics of it. I don't understand how you have a boyfriend that your husband hangs out with, but you're not really dating. We are clearly fucking that guy. And then this other lady, I just don't understand what are they talking about. This other guy's having an affair. It's clearly having an affair, but the wife is going to refuse to talk about it all.

21:00I just don't know where they're coming from. You know what I mean? It seems like, it seems so Looney Tunes. It's hard. It's not like I get what every housewife is going through. It's kind of fun that it's a cartoon and they're all so rich. And you're like, well, that's not me. But you still find something to relate to with the people. And these people, I don't at all. I'm like, what are they doing? What are they talking about?

21:21Ben Mandelker: What are they feeling? um so i just guested on a podcast over the weekend and when it comes out i will i will shout out from mountaintops but but one of the hosts was like i was watching rhode island and i was like wow this is the first ever real housewives that was written by ai and i was like that's exactly right that is how it feels it feels like they're just made up kind of characters that i the plots are just so bizarre like i can't really relate to anything which yeah i guess is okay. I'm still entertained, but what the fuck is she talking about? She went to a colleague at the company, reached out to HR, but HR couldn't get back to her so they reached the boss, but the boss could be...

22:01What?

22:01Ben Mandelker: Maybe HR is just... Maybe it's not human resources. That's just what they call someone at the company whose name is Harriet Rinaldi. Told Harriet Rinaldi, you know, HR. But she couldn't tell me anything about it because she's in accounting. She's not allowed to talk to me. I mean, it doesn't make nothing... Truly nothing makes... Also, this is I think the first time HR has ever been referenced on Real Housewives in terms of people having jobs. Has anyone ever had a job on this show that actually had an issue with HR? You've got Sonya Morgan selling toasters. She's not dealing with HR. Countess Luanne has nothing even close to an HR doing whatever things she's doing.

22:39Ben Mandelker: I'm sure that Heather Gay does not have HR at Beauty Lab and Laser. So it's just funny even the idea of HR broaching the Real Housewives. Yeah, weird. Weird show. So she's like, I don't appreciate her or her husband trying to fuck with my family. And we have three kids. So that is so below the belt. I know. But you sitting here talking about the husband fucking other people isn't great for their family either. I mean. Yeah, that's true too. Even if it is true what you're saying, like you're saying it over and over and over again. She's like, yeah, maybe I'll beat him up. Maybe I'll throw him off the dock.

23:11Ben Mandelker: She's like, yeah, oh, do it, babe. Dude, I'll be so excited if you do that. You know, I'll fuck you for this. I'll fuck you. Throw him off the dock. one man off the dock one woman on your dick that's what I say so now we go to Kelsey who is at a coffee shop that's not what's our other coffee shop name? Audrey's it's not Audrey's this is Bomb Cafe bitty bitty bomb bomb somehow I feel like Jared is still there it's like Juliana Oatmeal Coffee for Red is Red and Juliana nope okay

23:45he just he just interrupts he's like i have to always be preparing coffee always so she's meeting um her boyfriend bill and um yeah last week she was like well i mean i'm just so lonely in this big house all alone and now we find out that she's got a boyfriend named bill so he comes in he's kind of cute yeah he's not you know kind of like construction worker yeah just like boring straight guy kind of a way it's kind of hot so she's like a stripper yeah oh especially later at the studio 54 party which we're so she's like ladies and jess this is bill with my boyfriend like we've always had this don't ask don't tell relationship but like i know that he's not being loyal to me so if you can do it why can't i do it i'll tell you why you can't because he is paying for your lifestyle so you it's not that it's not fair of course if he's other people you should be able to fuck other people too bringing them on national tv i don't know is the wisest move it's like rubbing it in his face when he's paying for you to live in a 60 000 square foot house it's just not the same like you're hired you know what i mean it's like it's like the cleaning lady coming in and being like i'm cleaning all day why aren't you cleaning

25:01Ben Mandelker: you're literally hired to clean that's why well these two have a huge amount of chemistry she's like how's your mom did she pack your lunch this morning she didn't you know she used to pack my lunch in high school yeah i remember yeah ever since then i loved your mom she's the best like wow these guys they have so much to talk about who packed whose lunch also why what why is it on the radar that the mom is packing his lunch anyway because he lives with his mom he lives with his mom is what I'm getting from this. Your boyfriend, he's too poor to date. He still lives with his mom, so you're fucking the rich guy until you can find a way to get some of that money.

25:42They are going to kill that man. I think you're totally right with that.

25:46Ben Mandelker: My parents, they know exactly how my relationship is with my boyfriend, and I never lied to them. They really do love him, but they want me to have more for myself. So she's asking Bill how his sister is, and he's like, more boyfriends. Yeah, my sister's doing good. How's Tay? Tay is with Mavi and I'm like when was the last time you guys saw each other? Has it been like 15 years? I don't know. What sort of conversation is this? I don't understand this show. So she shows a picture of her nephew or whatever. She's like, isn't he the cutest little nugget? And he goes, yeah, he's handsome. Yeah, well first time I met Bill was in seventh grade.

26:25So my parents have always known him and every time my mom sees him, she brings up Bill. Every time she sees me, she's like, Bill, Bill, Bill.

26:35And so we see a flashback to her mom going, Kelsey, how's my future son-in-law Billy doing?

26:43Ben Mandelker: My mom just wants me to be with someone who will help me procreate, you know? So you feel like you'll be a good dad, Bill? You want some kids? He's like, yeah, eventually. How many? I wouldn't say more than two. What about you? As long as I have a nanny, I would have as many kids as needed. I'm like, bad news. Bad news, mom. Once the other guy's out of the picture, there is no nanny for you. No mom. He lives with his mother. Yeah, there's math. So she's like, well, Bill always known that I was a relationship, but, you know, I'm keeping him at arm's length until I kind of figure out where my relationship's going.

27:20Because I love my boyfriend, but he's never going to budge on having kids. He's got his own, but I don't want to sell myself short of being a mom on one day having kids. I can't.

27:29Ben Mandelker: God, he already has his own kid. Okay. So she goes, I want to have kids and be married. And I feel like I'll never get that where I'm at. I don't know. It's been on my mind for a while. Yeah. I'm like, Kelsey, don't lie. Nothing has been on your mind for 10 years. I'll tell you. Yeah, this girl. So he's like, yeah, I think you deserve happiness. And whatever makes you happy, make some big goal moves. And obviously, if you need anything, I'm here to help you. mm-hmm she's like bill although he's very successful doing whatever the thing is that he does you know he can't offer me the life that i've been living without having to work i don't have any problem working i can do it it's just do i want to no kelsey you've been in you've been in this situation since you were 20 i don't believe you know how to work at this point i think you that's a good point but where yeah where do you ever work like sure you can work at Carvel, but like, you're not going to be able to fund the lifestyle that you're really liking right now.

28:29She's ridiculous. And look, here's the thing with Kelsey and I hear myself talking and I feel like it's getting to, it's like veering on problematic. My thing with Kelsey is like, I don't mind if you're a sugar baby or you're like with a man money and you want babies and stuff like that. My problem is being dumb. You know what I mean? Like if you're going to do it, do it right you're doing this in the worst way you've got some guy who's basically fucking everybody else you know there's a time limit on this you know you're gonna have to and you've always known like you're gonna have to have a plan and your backup plan is bill and you want to have kids but i mean you're just you're just doing this wrong you know what i mean you just need you need a better business plan is what you really do and it doesn't mean a job it just means you know, work whatever you're working better because you're just doing a poor job.

29:21You're doing a piss poor job and it's hard to watch.

29:24Ben Mandelker: A literal poor job. You brought in a poor. So then we go over to Alicia's house. Liz comes to visit and she walks in and Alicia's like, hi, so good to see you. Don't mind the house. You'll see a lot of stuff everywhere because of construction. And Liz walks in and goes, whoa! Whoa, what's happening here? And we see the living room is like full of doll houses and all these dolls. I don't know what type of dolls they were. They were Bratz dolls. Were those Bratz? Yes. They're not even like regular. They're not like a collection of different kinds of dolls. They're all Bratz dolls. Those were Bratz dolls.

30:03Oh, my God. I thought Bratz dolls were shorter. Hundreds of Bratz dolls. You know, and this is the one that I can completely get behind is Alicia. I think that everything about Alicia is fucking hilarious. And the fact that we learned today that she collects only Bratz dolls made my week.

30:24Ben Mandelker: Liz is like, ah, what's going on? And she's like, these are my friends. She's like, did you take them down for me to come today? You want to show me your friends? Is that what's happening? She's like, no, it's because of construction. It's like, so you put these in your little living room? She's like, yeah. I mean, she's like, that's crazy, man. That's crazy. Well, ever since I was a little girl, I really love dolls. They're just something very beautiful. It's like an art. I think they're fascinating. You know, look at the way they do the eyeliner and the eyeshadow and the three layers of the lashes.

30:54Ben Mandelker: And everyone has a different lipstick with a little bit of shimmer. Like, okay, I appreciate that there's artistry in designing a doll, et cetera. But, like, the fact that they have different, like, eyeshadow or, like, lipstick, it's like, that's not a huge amount of artistry. that's kind of like, they were like, we need to make a new doll. Well, this one has red lipstick. Okay, let's give this one pink lipstick. No, dolls actually are a lot. So much artistry goes into the doll making. I fell down a rabbit hole one day. I think it was like TikTokers, probably TikTok. And I was watching this lady who makes dolls.

31:27It's crazy what you go through to make a doll. So I actually got this because I watched so many doll videos. I was like, oh my God, three layers of eyelashes? Girl, get me a breath. That's get me a break. I see it now. I,

31:41Ben Mandelker: you know what? I, I misspoke. It's not that there's not artistry because I actually think there's artistry and like really almost anything that is like made for us. Like, I think like a, like a keyboard or a scissor, there's artistry in that. I sincerely believe that, but like Alicia is like so surprised that someone put the time and effort to change like the lipstick on two different dolls. I'm like, yeah, because it's like this mass marketed thing. They have to change the look up. Like, I don't know. I just like that she's like, wow, someone thought of that. I was like, yeah. You know? So, yes, it's not to say that there's no retreat.

32:18Ben Mandelker: Like, look at that house. Can you believe somebody painted it? Yeah, that's what it's like. Wow. Someone thought they actually painted a different color. It's like, yeah, because people, they need to differentiate it. So, well, you buy it. And she doesn't even let her daughter play with the dolls because she's so in love with these dolls. And she's like, look at them. They got cute little outfits. And they're like, outfits. And it's like, all right, no judgment, okay? Like, you got your friends in the living room, okay? Like, what the fuck am I going to do about it? How long have your friends been held captive?

32:49I'm just curious, okay? So they sit and they eat stuff. And they're like, oh, my God, I'm starving. I'm starving. I'm starving to death. I'm starving to death. I'm barely living right now. I'm literal bones and skin. So they talk about the winery. And Alicia's like, you know what? I hope I didn't make you feel bad. because I wasn't attacking you. It's like people ask questions about me all the time. So I was asking questions about you. That's it. I wasn't attacking you.

33:19Ben Mandelker: There's rumors about you having an affair. There's rumors about me running over a woman. Things like that. I get it. All I say about all this is they can believe whatever they want. They can believe whatever. I'm obviously very chill about it as you'll see in the rest of the episode. And she's like, well, it's like you could ask me when I'm not married. Like, but I feel like I'm an open book. Like some people might not be. She was like, yeah, I know why you're not married. We've talked about that before. So now Alicia talks a little bit more about her relationship. She goes, I've been engaged for, I don't know, my daughter's eight.

33:53Ben Mandelker: So probably nine years. I don't know. I counted with crackers. What was my favorite cracker back then? Oh yeah, it was Ritz. So that was definitely 2015. Yeah, nine years ago. So I got engaged right before her. And like, I'm not planning a wedding because I don't know. Personally, I haven't had been successful relationships in my life. And growing up in a family full of six women, well, five after I ran over one of them, but five of them are divorced. And then seeing my mom, my dad not working out. I don't know. I just have my guard up. He made me sign a prenup. He wanted me to. Then he went to the lawyers.

34:22And you know what? The lawyer told me, you're not even going to see a single penny. You know? Nothing. You know? He won't even put my name on the house. Okay? Get the fuck out of there. What is with the men on this show? Why? What is happening here? Get out. Get out. Go to a different state if you have to. And Liz says, yeah, you know, she should be able to have an advocate for herself. Jerry and I are 50-50 on everything in life. We bought the house together. Business we built together. It's a no-brainer. You know, he's my partner.

34:56Ben Mandelker: Every fish he brings back from the deep sea, I own half of it. Okay? Every single fish. I don't even have to do any of the work, but I own half of every fish. so Alicia's like well make sure that you were never okay if you ever to leave me or cheat me I'm not left without a house my father did that to my mom and let's be honest I had to move back with my grandparents she goes oh so that's the story of it so I don't remember how that went but bingo that's where your reservations come in bingo oh thanks Shelly Jesse Raphael I like she goes oh yeah I don't remember the story of that so that's how that happened what do you mean you don't remember you don't remember your friend uh being destitute after getting dumped what the hell is oh yeah yeah bingo just realize it's not your fault it's not your fault goodwill living or good liz will yeah so alicia says that her dad has been out of the house since she was 16 years old and when he left the mom they sold that he sold the house and so the only thing she has left from her dad is his last name and his temper.

36:02Which may be a little bit sometimes. You know, maybe it's a little bit. So Liz is like, you know, I know you're not working right now. You got to find yourself. You got to find your passion. She's like, well, you know, maybe get into Pizza Mama with Billy. That's my passion. You know, I love taking sexy pictures for Pizza Mama.

36:20Ben Mandelker: So, yeah, you know what? You know, I hate that I have to ask him for money. It's a power trip. You know, I always thought it'd be like a dream to be like a stay-at-home wife or a girlfriend in my situation. It actually sucks. So, but quick question. So, like, do you need any help with Jerry's Patty? Like, can I bring anything? You need some cracker? I can bring some crackers. I can bring cracker. You want a cracker? I got crackers. I like when she says, I like when she says, yeah, you know, I could get into Pizza Mama, you know, because I don't want to get in the kitchen or nothing. But, you know, like I could do the decorating.

36:53It's a pizza shop. It's not like it's not even like we're not talking even Buca de Peppo level. OK, it's a literal pizza shop with booths that people order a slice at the counter.

37:06Really? What are you talking about? So she's so this is like, you know, I don't need help. But I'm excited for the party. You talk to Rulama. You talk to Rulama. I invited Rulama. I don't know what's happening now. So is Rula coming? Everything in this show is about Rula. Is Rula coming? What's Rula going to do? What's Rula going to say? Commercials. Here comes one right now.

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39:05Ben Mandelker: So now we go to Rula and she's like, everyone who knows me well knows that I love hosting. So I'm excited. I've set up a Lebanese brunch and I'm under so much stress I feel like I need these women around me because they know my culture and it's just effortless I try to cook but the catering definitely helps too ha ha ha ha I'm not gonna lie I didn't do it all myself I'm like hello Rula sounds like it's 11.30pm and she's just barely trying to stay awake to finish can we put a battery into Rula please at first I thought she had morning voice I'm like, no, she has late night voice. Oh, God. What was that, honey?

39:45Ben Mandelker: Okay, okay. A falafel has more energy than Rula. Like serious. She's just like, blah. So, you know, she's like, party, party with my girls. So, they're like, how's the kids? And she's like, the kids are good. How's the kids dealing with everything? You know? I mean, they sense a difference. They sense a difference. It hasn't been normal. it hasn't been easy to mentally process all the damage that can come with extra marital involvement. But am I crying? I feel like I'm crying. I'm breathing like I'm crying. A tear is coming? I don't know. My life is blessed. I have, you know, I've had to make decisions really carefully to consider, you know, everything that we've built together and especially the children.

40:36Ben Mandelker: So, yeah. And Stephanie goes, it's not you and him. we've been in great we've been engraved since we were young that your family is everything look at this on my chest it says family is everything on my chest engraved and there's one lady i don't even got it on my key ring okay i got it if things remembered family family is everything there's one lady who's right next to her at this table i don't remember which of these i don't remember if it's stephanie or ruler whoever i'm not obviously it's not ruler i don't remember if it's Stephanie or Meddy or any of these people. But there's one lady who's like next to Rula and she is so over the top.

41:13Ben Mandelker: I'm like, I love this lady. She's like, don't forget, family's everything. Don't forget, every family, you got a family. I'm like, please, please have her on every episode. You don't just walk out the door when someone makes a bad decision. Yeah, you fucking do. Especially when they're currently making it right now, probably in a parking lot of some Walmart. Yes, you fucking do make that decision. And Meddy's like, He made a mistake. Just stay strong, focused, and move the fuck forward. With friends like these, Jesus. I've never contemplated a divorce. Divorce is definitely not rampant in the Lebanese and Syrian cultures.

41:56Ben Mandelker: And the producer goes, but you've been divorced, right?

42:01Ben Mandelker: I'm not trying to talk about that. My family wouldn't love that. that was funny the producer was like you've been divorced hello I'm just trying to hold it together because people are sitting there talking about pictures and Joelle and you know the one who's made it her place to just be all in my business it was on Instagram for Christ's sake so she's like yeah I don't want to see her at this party it's just drama and then he's like you go you go with Brian and you prove to them that you ain't got shit to worry about you go have fun your body will go that's what you gotta do make sure those boobies swing like the things on the desk when the marble goes up on the string it comes and slams the other marble the other marble goes up that's right absolutely I'm gonna do that I don't know what you're talking about but I'll do it yeah no you tell him Maddie will be after you she's like yeah all of them all of us will be after them okay all of us will be the Lebanese mob so then Ashley is calling Jared and she's like, is there any chance that you're going to actually meet me for dinner?

43:09He's like, I'm leaving right now, honey. So he leaves the coffee shop and walks right across the street to where she's waiting for him for date night. And she's like, oh, God, I mean, if you ask any parent of littles in their 30s, it's like, yeah, I mean, every day is tough. And then you get to bed and you're like, and then 10 minutes later, you're like, oh, my God, should we wake them up? They're so cute.

43:33Ben Mandelker: anyway let's get back to our amazing relationship how's audrey's how's the ice machine and afterwards you can ask me how my day was he's like well i called the mechanic and he's just like a little backed up right now and then the oven started making noise and might need a new coffee machine as well and sometimes just shuts off in the middle of the brewing and i don't know those i'm like what is what is happening at this coffee shop why would any of us want to go to this place that's like stuck together with like tape and bubble gum. What is happening here? It's a money pit. He's like, well, the problem with my insecurities is the fact that I'll come home from work knowing that I made like minuscule money.

44:14Yeah. And you need to let me continue to work to make the extra money. Cause I'm making all the money. Yeah. I get it. I get it. He's like, yeah.

44:21Ben Mandelker: Grazella caramel, caramel macchiato. Grazella. Grazella. I'm sorry, honey. Were you saying something like exactly like what am i even doing yeah it's like a burden being home with no one you know and like i hate thinking like that so you know i mean look at all the stay-at-home moms out there i mean most moms have to stay home you know lose their gumbone gabonies you know what i mean he's like but you're not a stay-at-home mom now you do have a nanny she goes oh well still though i mean he works so many hours and he still doesn't feel super fulfilled that makes me sad Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.

44:55What are you doing? I'm squirting caramel into a cup. Honey, we're at a restaurant. I keep it in my pocket.

45:03Ben Mandelker: Chiara, dirty chai latte, Chiara. But there is no Chiara, Jared. Stop trying to avoid this conversation. It's not even his hours at the shop. The stress for me at this point is the fact that even when he's not there, he's like, I don't get his best self, okay? And like his mind is going crazy all day long. It's crazy. Valentina, Valentina ice latte with almond milk. Jared, I'm in my confessional. You can't do that to me in my confessional. Last week, I asked him to bathe one of the children, and he said, how hard can it be? It's like dipping a biscotti into a tea. And then he complained that the...

45:40Ben Mandelker: And then he held the espresso grounds right up to the faucet in the bathtub. I said, it's not the right machine. You can't damp it. Do you know how many baby bottles he's broken from slamming them on the side of the trash can i tell him it's not an espresso pod honey i told him i wanted a bubble bath and he gave me a milk foam in the bath instead it actually really hurt uh so waiter comes over with an electric pepper grater and um i don't know why they featured that but he's like would you like some pepper and she goes yeah and he's like jared was like wow that's like the most rhode island thing i've ever said in my entire life when she brought out the pepper and it was automatic i was like oh fancy it's like an automatic pepper shaker i'm like damn wow you guys got well congratulations this is the first time you haven't talked about your coffee shop in a sentence but you know the next episode is like i invented a new coffee drink it's a latte with freshly ground pepper and you're like on top of it.

46:46Ben Mandelker: Rosie goes and has an anniversary dinner with Rich at Cersei, which, by the way, no better way to celebrate your anniversary than to go to a restaurant named after the villainess of Game of Thrones. So... Lady fucking her brother in Game of Thrones. So they order, and the order's like, you want panzanella? He goes, yeah, I want some panzanella. And Rosie and the waiter look at him like, oh my God, this is embarrassing. I love being married to Rich and we're constantly saying, can you believe we get to do this forever? This is so fun, but he is corny. And then I think, wow, forever, forever, forever, forever.

47:35Our note, our note lady for the day, Colleen. Hi, Colleen. Thanks for the notes. She wrote, But Ed Cooley is the coach that Rosie was rumored to have sex with. And he apparently it was like this big scandal and he had to leave town and move. He was the coach of the Providence Friars, which is so funny. I love that name. The Providence Friars. Listen here. The Friars have all gotten together. We can't have you here if you're having sex with the lady with the Saturday show. Okay. We don't like a picnics. So get out. Get out. We're transferring you.

48:10Ben Mandelker: The Friars is a very serious organization. Okay. So Rosie says, you know, what's so crazy that I think about sometimes I thought you were going to be like a fuck boy. And I didn't really think you'd ever like propose and we get married, but I did want to get married and I don't necessarily want to have kids. I'm like, wait, you thought he was a fuck boy, but you still got married to him anyway. Okay. That's Rhode Island. Apparently that's just the, that's just how it rolls. I mean, there are no men in Rhode Island. Everyone is putting up with an absolute shit man here. So he's like, I don't think it's something we should rule out, though.

48:42She's like, you know, like I have trauma. I like familial stuff that goes back. But I never wanted to be a mom. He goes, but do you think your mom wanted to be a mom? She goes, no, I don't. It's kind of my point, okay?

48:55Ben Mandelker: So growing up, my mom was the primary caregiver. And if you weren't perfect, it was a problem. And I've never been perfect. What were you doing as a teenager? I've never been. I'm sorry I'm not perfect. wasn't that like in an earlier episode, didn't she say something like that? Like, yeah, no, there was some stuff like I wasn't the best kid. Maybe that was Joellen. No, Joellen said that. Joellen has problems with her mom. Joellen said that. So Rich was like, do you think you would resent the kid if you had a kid? She goes, maybe, which is very honest. And you would think at this point, you'd be like, so she said, she says that her mom is Catholic and Rich isn't Catholic.

49:36Ben Mandelker: And she was like, I don't really care about that. but like they weren't going to have a Catholic wedding. But then the mom was like, oh, you better have a Catholic wedding. Otherwise you're disowned. And so then she's like, fine, we'll have a Catholic wedding. And then that's, you know, then they like had it. And then she's like, wait, this isn't normal. So basically what Rosie is saying is that she's basically like the daughter-in-law of Posh Spice at this point. She's like, I didn't get to have the wedding that I wanted. She's like, she's like Nicola Peltz. She's like, my mother ruined the entire wedding.

50:06then she started dirty dancing with rich so weird so he's like be the brooklyn but yeah yes she's like well i don't want to turn into that yeah i know but that would have been weird if the mom started dirty dancing with her right yes sometimes not everything works like that okay so rosie's like oh i don't want to turn into that you know we've been on the page for so long about this and goes yeah but your perspective might change over the next year no rich if you want babies you should be with someone who wants babies don't get with some lady who clearly is telling you she doesn't want babies and then slowly talk her into it and then force her into it into the point she has babies she resents the babies and then you cheat on her and leave her for somebody because you know they're not resentful and bitter towards you and then she's stuck with the goddamn

50:52Ben Mandelker: baby she never wanted in the first place yeah she already even admitted she'd be resentful so he's like well maybe your perspective might change over the next year and she goes yeah and no and and maybe that, maybe it will change in the next five years. Cause he's like one year, she's like five years. So he goes, yeah, but you say five. She said five to 10. She says five to five to 10, five to 10. And then he's like, five to 10 girl. And she, he's like, yeah, but at that, you're saying that, but at five, at that point you'll be 30. I'm not going to say the age. She goes, well, look, I'm very good looking for my age.

51:24Ben Mandelker: So fine. I'll say it in six years. I'll be 40. Sue me. I'm going to look 35. I don't care. You can say my age. She's like, no, it's not that you're going to look so good in that many years. You won't have much more time left to have a baby. She's like, whatever, I'll look 25 then. I'll look 25. Okay, I'm going to keep getting all the lasers. He goes, but the baby, you might have trouble getting pregnant. But I'm going to look amazing. How dare you say I'm not going to look amazing in five years? She's like, it's okay. We can wait. I'll still look hot. I'll still be a hot mom in like five or 10 years.

51:55Ben Mandelker: He's like, it's not about looking hot. Yeah. So then we go to Liz's house. so it's the day of the Studio 54 party. 54, 54. And she's going over stuff with the party planner while all the ladies are getting glam at their homes. And Rosie's like, I don't really know about Studio 54. Here's the only thing I'm really certain about in life. I don't want fucking children. Okay? Yeah. Ever. Alicia was like, I actually love this era because it's like I always thought I was like a drug dealer's wife. And then the music stops. And she goes, you know, it's like that movie. What's it? Scarface? Scarface? You ever watched Scarface?

52:35Ben Mandelker: Scarface? She's like, Scarface? Scarface. Scarface? She's like, no. You never saw Scarface? She's like, if it wasn't on the Disney Channel, I probably didn't see it. I'm destroyed. I don't know. I'm destroyed, Alicia. I'm destroyed. So Liz is getting ready. And then her stepdaughters show up. And everyone's talking about each other's outfits. It's like, oh, daddy, so 70s, look at you. So now we get a, it's a Bravo scene where everybody's just arriving, you know, for 20 minutes. Rula doesn't want to come to the party. What'd you say? Looking vaguely Studio 54-ish. Not really, not really at all.

53:16I feel like these people just wear these outfits all the time. Yeah. This seemed like a very appropriate, it was like an easy party for this cast. so um and they're wearing a lot of amazon um like disco the guys are all wearing the amazon disco shirts you know and i know because i've had to go to these parties and i've bought these shirts on amazon before we just bought blazers for the crappies we understand the brands yes so rule is like yeah i just want to stay calm and cool but you know they better not mess with me or they're gonna see the lebanese come out i've never heard that lebanese i don't think we're known for like extreme tempers.

53:55I mean, I think Lebanese are kind of known for peace, no? The Lebanese culture is pretty peaceful, at least the one I've always been exposed to. I've never heard like, oh yeah, you want to get a bit of Lebanese? I'm going to whip out some Lebanese on your ass. What, are you going to cook for me and hug me too much?

54:14Ben Mandelker: Rula's going to come for you. She's going to bring out the Lebanese. So Rosie is like, she's like, mine, look for it. She shows up and she's sort of like a hot mess. And she's like, my look for Studio 54 is a complete mess. I'm so embarrassed by this. Like, I like to be an icon and this is not iconic. My original outfit didn't fit me because I was too fat and bloated for my period. Well, now I'm wearing pants that are literally way too tight and I look dumb. She's so unhappy. She's wearing, yeah, she does not look. She's wearing a body suit. She's not really matching the theme. Dino walks in. isn't she though everyone's just wearing glitter yeah it's no one's really only Ashley is sort of sort of hitting it and also what's her face Alicia they both look kind of Studio 54-ish so Dina walks in and Kelsey's like oh my god I know Liz and Dina were best friends so I was expecting him to be here but I think him being here is instantly reminding you of like what people are saying and then we have the flashback about like listen do you know having an affair she's like well the reason she wants him here is because this is her way of showing us girls like look at him and i we're friends he's friends with jerry like this is normal but listen i mean i pretend he doesn't exist so i have no idea what everyone else sees i just know i'm not looking at him because he's uh he is a mob linked as has been going around on twitter so that might be a part of it um so then bill and alicia show Oh, let's read this.

55:50This is in our notes, too. Oh, I love this. Colleen gave us some good notes today. So this is from the American Mafia group, I guess, on Facebook. It says, Dino, the big bully, Gull Medi, is a patriarca family associate from Rhode Island faction of the family, an alleged major drug trafficker who operates under heavyweight Rhode Island capo, Matthew Gulli Medi. He's pictured here with his daughter, a little girl he fathered with Shana Jenkins, who's, oh my gosh, this is good. We're getting some goss. Shana Jenkins, who is the ex-fiancee of a convicted murderer, former New England Patriots player Aaron Hernandez.

56:32Yikes.

56:33Ben Mandelker: Yeah, so, wow, I didn't realize that. So he had a baby with Aaron Hernandez's ex-fiancee. Well, there you go. All sorts of interesting things happening over there. Well, that makes it more sense that the husband's like, take care of her while I'm away. Has he been offering Liz's hit this whole time? Take care of her. Okay, I'm going to be gone three weeks. That's plenty of time. Take care of her. Yeah. So Bill and Alicia show up and Bill is, he's not wearing, he's just wearing, he's basically wearing like the pants and the vest part of a three-piece suit. but no shirt. So it's not Studio 54 at all, but this is, I guess, his attempt to look sort of like Studio 54.

57:21Ben Mandelker: But he just looked, he literally looks like a stripper. He's like Chippendales. Yeah. And no complaints. No complaints. Looks hot. He's there. And I like that Alicia's like, oh my God, this is the first time I've seen Kelsey and Bill out together. Bill? Billy? I don't know what she calls him. Bill or Billy. I like how it's Billy. And then Kelsey going, Bill, this is Bill. Bill, Bill, this is Bill. Okay, Bill, Bill. Nice to meet you, Bill, Bill. But she's like, what does she call him? bill bill bill bill bill is it billy is it billy she's like bill's my one plus he's not my plus one to the party okay like he's really good friends with jerry and he's always going to be at this party no matter if i was here or not so this is not our hard launch thank you that was the coffee shop scene i think so now rula and brian show up and um everyone's like oh my god rule is here and alicia says i think rule is showing up as brave of her i love her i think she's classy she's elegant but look at brian coming in wearing two different costumes like one studio 54 the other one's the faithful husband oh burn burn burn that was a brat brian brian looks terrified he knows what's coming he is like a very scared capybara right now just looking around like what's gonna happen to me um and ashley and jared arrive and now she's like i love my bangs but you know i actually cut my bangs by accident i was literally cutting the fake bangs and i got my real hair so i have this like one piece that's my right here it's like no one cares actually like literally no one cares yeah so then jared is like oh wow um you know that looks like a stripper outfit but i did chip and dales once and it was awesome hot so then have you ever done a lap dance while serving someone in a cortado oh man what a thrill so uh everyone's like ruler ruler's here Rula's here and Joellen's here.

59:09Oh my God, it's Joellen and it's Rula. Are they going to talk? And all the ladies are sitting on this couch that's right by the front door just watching everyone come in. It's so weird. So Joellen sees them all sitting together and just waves to them and walks to say hi to other people because she's like, eh, I'm not doing this right now.

59:25Ben Mandelker: Dolores shows up. She's like, hi, it's me, Dolores. I'm here. What's going on? Do you want something to eat? Okay. But then Gary and Joellen show up and they're like, we're going to go talk. They're like, hey, do you want to talk Rula. So Dolores goes, um, I'm going to go get a real diet soda. Bye. I'm like, I don't know what that meant, but Dolores knows when it's time to leave. She gets out and then she just goes across the party. She goes, they're having their talk. They're talking right now. Everyone gather around. They're going to talk. They're going to talk. So Gary is like, so what's going on with Colin Joellen's work stuff?

59:58And Rula goes, okay, Brian, you want to tell them what happened? And so Brian's like, uh, uh, go ahead, honey. You do it. She's like, Joellen's like, I don't even know if you were even involved. Now, Brian, I know that you were and that you called my work and that you wrote an email to my work. And Brian's like, yeah, certain things about me, which I really don't want to say right now, that was being perpetuated by her. And I happened to be talking to a friend of mine. And he's like, oh, well, I'll just talk to a boss right now. And Joellen's like, wait, so you didn't send an email saying I want to write a complaint about her?

1:00:31Well, so he said, you know, send an email.

1:00:35Ben Mandelker: so I sent an email. She's like, I'm not your rep. And he was like, yeah, but did you call the company? And Gary, who's there, Gary now has like a little mustache and for some reason he looks like 10 times hotter. And he was like, did you call the company or did this guy call the company? And Joellen goes, he called the company. Brian's like, oh no, and I brought her up. And so I called him. And yeah, Brian called my colleague and talked shit about me. Well, my intent was not to get her fired. He said, you know, I said, I mean, I don't know, like, Rula, you want to take it from here? Rula, you want to do this?

1:01:06Ben Mandelker: Come on, Rula, you going to help me out here? Rula is just watching. And Gary's like, well, what was the intent, though? He's like, well, I said she said certain things. You know, can you have her, like, stop saying certain things? He's like, well, I would have expected you to call me, and then I would have shut it down, because she's a lady who listens to a man, and I would have talked to her. So when I hear, it goes right to the tap, right to the job, it gets me pissed off. She's getting calls from Harriet Rinaldi's department, and like someone calls my wife's work. That's a huge fucking problem for me.

1:01:40So the other girls are just watching and Rosie's like, yeah, that's not going well. It's not going well. Gary's in the glitter jacket and he's like yelling. So back to Joellen. She's like, we're not calling jobs yet. We're not crossing that line. Like it's not funny. Like he doesn't want me to gossip about his appearance. Okay, but he's going to call my job. And really was like, can you just stop throwing things out like that?

1:02:00Ben Mandelker: Joellen, please. Gary's like but because everyone's talking about it yeah everyone knows Rula everyone knows and Rosie's Rosie's watch it's like oh my god this is great I should be a I should be a relationship commentator reporting live I'm Rosie Woods we are here at the scene in Liz's living room details are unclear at the time but it seems as though Brian Pontrelli may have tried to get Joellen fired so Joellen's like it look Rula if he's having an affair that's not my problem it's like whoa listen listen he had an indiscretion it's water under the bridge okay don't let me bring the lebanese out right now well don't take it out on me though she's like i'm not trying to take it out on you but what i'm taking out on you is that you're exacerbating and spreading everything okay now listen i'm not naive i'm not turning a blind eye i mean he said it was done and i believe brian that is turning a blind eye joe ellen's like he's still fucking somebody so you know you were very easy you're very excited to spread pictures and hearsay and gary goes whatever is going on with all that i could give a fuck what i care about is my wife putting food on the table for my children and joellen goes and maybe it's not done you don't want to admit it fine fine brian you don't want to admit it but he's not having an affair he is having an affair and brian sitting there like his eyes wide like uh yeah joellen was just calling it out right in front of the husband, which I loved.

1:03:24And the husband's like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, but doesn't deny anything. And Rula just keeps looking at him. And meanwhile, birthday's coming out, birthday cake's coming out, and everyone's singing. Enormous cake the size of an airplane wheel.

1:03:37Ben Mandelker: This thing was, I've never seen such a big birthday cake. It was huge. And they're still fighting, and Joellen's like, oh my god, promise on my kids. On my kids. It's still going on. Rula just goes, sure. And she's like, Brian, do you have anything to say. Here, just tell him how it is, Brian. He's like, uh, uh, speak your piece, Brian. Uh, you know, we all have things that we do, and I'm not talking about anything. Oh, my God. Geron's like, I'm not looking to hurt Rula. I'm just trying to protect her from a horrible husband, and everyone else in this group knows about this, and she deserves to know this.

1:04:14Ben Mandelker: Like, I would want to know, wouldn't you? Rula's like, why aren't you saying anything? She goes, he's like, well, what do you want me to say i mean you guys are you guys are saying it all you know what should i say could you imagine you're being accused on tv of having an affair and your kids are watching this and you can't even you can't even if you're lying you can't even say that's a total lie don't do that because my kids will see that you can't even say that you're just like uh that's the same at all yeah she's saying you're having an affair and you're not denying it oh my gosh so she's like i don't care if it's not my business don't call my job okay don't call my job so liz comes over to break it up.

1:04:48She's like, oh my gosh, what's going on? She's doing something here. She's doing something. And they're still like, don't call her job, blah, blah, blah. So here's the thing. Listen, it's Jerry's 54th birthday, and we're going to forget about this, because this is like stupid. Okay? Someone's husband's cheating. I mean, who cares?

1:05:06Ben Mandelker: Who cares? I'll tell you what's stupid. Loses future meltdown at the end of the episode. That was over nothing. This is about like an affair and about someone's job, meddling with someone's job. This is actually a pretty high stakes fight and Liz like, ah, it's stupid. Okay, unless it involves fishing for three weeks in the middle of the Atlantic. I don't want to hear about it. It's stupid. Joellen says, well, this isn't about Rula. It's about Brian. I just want to shake her. I want to shake Rula. But I can't because her hair tarpa will fall off. So Rula and Brian are like, we're going to go. And Brian goes, yeah, next time she's going to say I was at a Diddy Freakoff.

1:05:42Ben Mandelker: I don't know. Maybe. He goes, maybe. I don't know. I like that he's like, maybe I wasn't a Diddy freak off. Like, I don't even know. You guys say whatever you want to. Was I? Was I not? Why do I have baby oil in my pocket? I don't know. Rula has no idea what he's talking about. Who's Diddy? So Rosie is like, oh my God, oh my God. We were watching what happened. I was commentating. I was so good. I was actually so funny. And Joellen's like, yeah, Gary was good. He's going to get laid tonight. Yes. So Rula and Brian are now in their car ride home. And it's really awkward. because, you know, I know you like to be calm and quiet about things, and I just wish you would have said something because Joanne was trying to put you down, you know?

1:06:24Ben Mandelker: I just, you know, I'm upset that Brian didn't say much. You know, Gary's dating by his wife's side. Where's Brian? Yeah, he's like, I wasn't about to start a fight with a female. She goes, it's not about starting a fight. Why didn't you shut it down? She's like, I wish he was just more stern and defensive, you know? I wouldn't have minded if he had unleashed on her. He's having an affair. What are you doing, Rula? Like I can't with this. So then, um, yeah. So, um, Ashley and her romantic relationship, they're driving home and she's like, Jerry, do we really have to stop at the coffee shop on the way home?

1:06:57He's like, only for a minute, baby. Only for a minute.

1:07:00Ben Mandelker: What are you doing at like 1130 PM at the coffee shop? Are you fixing the machine? Are you fucking starting on? He's like, I'm pretty sure my, my automatic pepper grinder arrived. I got to bring it inside. So, uh, Kelsey is, goes up to Liz. liz is just like sitting eating cake and so kelsey's like hey she's like oh hey god i'm so glad you're here because i want to go down the seawall with jerry and dino because he's still one of my best friends and i want to have time with jerry and dino at the seawall because i want like people to see the three of us well we gotta gather that understand that we're actually best friends you know it makes sense if you think about it just picture it three of us yeah jerry Liz Dino, Jerry Liz Dino.

1:07:44Ben Mandelker: It all makes sense now. All I want is to go to the seawall. If she said seawall one more time, and Kelsey's like, What are you talking about? Owing stuff just, ongoing what? Rumors? Ongoing rumors? Bye, bye. Fuck off, Kelsey. Fuck off, Kelsey. And now she gets up and storms upstairs, and Kelsey's like, What? What did I say? What happened? Fuck off, Kelsey. She's like, Why are you mad? I wanted to be at the seawall with my husband and my best friend. And you went, I think not. Because Dino, the ongoing, you know what? I don't have an ongoing. It's all lies. And I got nothing to hide. And maybe I do, but I don't.

1:08:26Maybe you have something to hide, but I don't got nothing to hide. And I was going to not hide it at the seawall.

1:08:32Ben Mandelker: And meanwhile, they're like in the bathroom. So we see her bedroom, which is a mess, which is fine. Because it's like party mess where you put everything in the bedroom, right? but the, did you notice the paint job in this place? The room is black, but it was like, it was, did they do it themselves? I feel like they didn't use primer. You know, like when someone paints something, they don't know how to paint it. And there's like all these weird uneven tone, the light hits in these strange ways. Like I was like, you, did you guys use like oil paints from like, where you guys, like, did you guys use the proper paint?

1:09:02Ben Mandelker: Did you notice it? I thought for sure, Ronnie, you may have noticed it. Like how. No, I thought they just went into like a dark room. and then we heard this is all stuff that we're hearing and not seeing right no but next time go look at that room and you're gonna see the uneven paint job and i was like what is going on in this room it looks crazy in here it actually looks and it looks already crazy it's like base level crazy and then the paint job is all like i'm like you guys are wealthy did you not hire proper painters like what's happening here now so liz is losing her shit and kelsey's like why are you mad and And she's like, you go more.

1:09:37You know what? You go more. You got more to hide than I do. How about that? How about that, bitch? And so now other people are coming up. And Kelsey is like, what am I hiding? My boyfriend's literally downstairs. And she's like, oh, yeah, the way that Kelsey stood up and says, this tool is said to be this ongoing. She says ongoing to me. That rubbed me the wrong way. She's trying to distance her own story with Dino by pointing a finger at me. So wait, Liz has a story with Dino, too? I mean, Kelsey does. So Liz is like, you and I are two different people. She goes, since when? She goes, since you said ongoing down there.

1:10:13That's why ongoing.

1:10:15Ben Mandelker: Who would have thought seawall and ongoing would be like the keywords of this episode? So they ask her, how does Kelsey know Dino? And she's like, that's a great question. You have to ask Kelsey about that one. Kelsey's like, this isn't what I want. I know it never is, Kelsey. I don't give a fuck anymore. Get out. I just want to go to bed and then go down the seawall with Gino and Jerry and back up to bed. Okay. I don't give a fuck anymore, Kelsey. Just get out of here. Ongoing. I've got an ongoing issue with you. That's like, oh, God. Ongoing. Yeah. So Alicia's like, you know what? I never, I never, I never, I never, I never seen Lindsay Kelsey fight like that.

1:10:58Like, don't fuck with her. It's okay. You know what? Let's pack up and go, guys. Let's just pack up and go. I miss my dolls. So it's weird. I don't know what the fuck Liz was on about either.

1:11:10Ben Mandelker: Liz was really upset. Like the on go. You know, she's just drunk. Let's be honest. She was drunk. She'd had a long night of partying. She was drunk. She just. But then what's this other? I think it might be more because if Kelsey has a thing with Dino, then she's saying, listen, and she's trying to keep her away and say, listen, you shouldn't be with Dino right now because there's all the speculation. Maybe she's like, oh, really? you're trying to get Dino from me? I mean who knows what's going on this show is so crazy yeah it's a wacky wacky show it's a crazy show alright well that brings us to the end of this one everybody we will talk to you tomorrow for a little below deck action I talk to you then bye watch what crappens would like to thank it's premium sponsors ain't no thing like Alison King our way is the amber way It's the Foster and the Furious.

1:12:00Ben Mandelker: It's Amanda Foster. Whip up a meringue. It's Amanda E. Lemon. It's Always Automatic with Ashley Otto. Put your hands together for Carly Clapp. Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. She's not just a Sheila. She's a Daniela. Itchles. We never miss her call. It's Diane Call. Sunday in the Park with Dylan Clark. Big Yay. It's Emily Gauthier. Erin McNicholas. She don't miss no trick-a-less. You'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones. I go, you go, we all go for Hugo. Jamie, she has no less namey. Zip some scotch with Jessica Trotch. She's not a McBee, she's a McBride. Jess McBride. She's our favorite streamer, Caroline Peacock.

1:12:41Kristen the Piston Anderson. Que sera, sera, whatever we'll be, we'll Lauren Sills be. She gets an A from us, it's Lindsay D. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McHenry.

1:12:54Ben Mandelker: Aren't you glad it's Marianne Arns? Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the Berg. This is Livin' with Michelle Vivian. I love-a-ya, Olivia Williamson. She sure is swell. It's Raquel. Yes, we canna. It's Savannah. Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman. Let's share with Sharon Eldridge. Darn Skippy. It's Tippi. And our super premium sponsors. She's VVIP. It's Amanda V. Can I have a Kavanaugh? It's Anna Kavanaugh. Somebody get us 10 cc's of Betsy MD. We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. Let's get real with Caitlin O 'Neill. Put us on a stretcher. It's Charlotte Fletcher. Hoagle your horses.

1:13:36It's Christine Hoagle. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily sides.

1:13:42Ben Mandelker: Who, what, why, where, and Gwen Pentland. Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall. We got our wish. It's Jen Plish. My favorite Murdo, Karen McMurdo. Let's get savage with Laura Wildman In the study with a candlestick It's Leslie Peacock We're ride or die for Lisa Rider Baron She's a whiz, it's Liz Sarthy Always killing it, it's Lola Alkalani Roger that, it's Marlis Rogers The incredible edible Matthew Sisters She eases our woes, it's Melissa St. Rose She's the lady of the house, it's Rachel Shiraus There's a chance of meatballs, it's Rebecca Cloud She's our princess, it's Rebecca Prince Maximum love for Sandy Maximoska She's the queen bee It's Sarah Lemke We cannot tell a lie It's Sarah Talafson Shannon out of a cannon Anthony Please don't stop It's Soli and Pop Let's take off with Tamla Plain Strike a pose It's Tori Rose She ain't no shrinking Violet Kuchar We love you guys

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