#3316 The Valley S3E03 Part 1: Y2K Bugs

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0:12Ronnie Karam: Make it quick, young man. Aw, see? Pop-Pop trusts you.

0:18Ben Mandelker: Uh, I think we should call a doctor.

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1:05Ben Mandelker: Watch What Crap Ends

1:30Ben Mandelker: I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today is Ronnie Karam. Hi Ronnie, how's it going? Hello, how are you? I am so great because I know that I do not have to go to Santa Clarita anytime soon. Unlike the folks of the valley who had to trek all the way up there on the latest episode. Today we are talking about the valley. Before we dive into that, please join us on Patreon, which is patreon.com slash watchourcrappins. you get access to our free newsletter, ad-free listening, bonus episode. This week we did a Top Chef check-in, which was super fun. And what else do we have on there? Crappens on demand.

2:12Ben Mandelker: You can watch us on video. So go check that out. Patreon.com slash watchwackrappens. And as long as you're in the spirit, why not give us a follow on the old Instagram at watchwackrappens, at Ronnie Karam, at Ben Mandelker. so that's all the exciting stuff on that and we also have a few other exciting stuff things coming down the pike soon so keep keep your ears and eyes on this space for any

2:38Ronnie Karam: cool things we may announce any excitement oh actually i will be um i'll be doing a city cruises Dinner Cruise this weekend hosting a talk with Hannah Ferrier from Below Deck Mid and Sheener Beniner from Not the Valley Sucka and Zach from the Valley. So that's going to be super fun. That's this weekend in San Diego. Check Hannah Ferrier's Instagram for that information and get some tickets on comm. It's going to be so fun. We're going to travel around and cruise, ask Sheena questions.

3:16Ben Mandelker: If you want to spend a night with Ronnie, at the very least, go get yourself a ticket. That's this weekend, right?

3:25Ronnie Karam: Yell it to the Smellers. Yes, this weekend. It's Saturday. Saturday in Sandy. So that's going to be super fun. I'm excited. I'm going to be taking a six-hour road trip with Zach and Hannah. A car we're going to drive up and drive back together. So that should be some fun times. I should definitely, at the very least, have some stories. Yeah, we're driving up Saturday. doing the thing and then coming back Saturday night.

3:48Ben Mandelker: You will definitely have some stories. Well, we will look forward to hearing about those stories next week. But in the meantime, why don't you be part of the story and join Ronnie on his dinner cruise.

3:59Ronnie Karam: You guys, be part of the story. Today's story is The Valley, Season 3, Episode 3, The Santa Clarita Trail.

4:08Ben Mandelker: Yes, because everyone has to go up there. And they are not exaggerating on this show. it is far it is very far so we're at Danny and Nia's house and Nia's with her mom Nicole and also with Asher and she's like we have a lot going on today the electrician's coming and the backsplash is done and the party is tomorrow and Nicole is like I can't believe the party's tomorrow because I have no idea what's going on like thanks Nicole

4:38Ronnie Karam: no one does okay everybody's gonna be so tired by the time they get there they don't care okay they're gonna stay for an hour give them a hot dog and send them home seriously jasmine and

4:48Ben Mandelker: melissa uh were at their apartment and zach is hanging out and um and he's like looking at their invitation for their save the dates because they're getting married at some point and then we go to christian and britney and um they're at like the plastic surgeon's office and christian is like i am so so for you britney she's like yeah i can't believe it's been 10 years since i had my Can you believe it? 10 years.

5:16Ronnie Karam: That's wild because I remember the day you got him done. We all remember. We all remember that day. That was one of the saddest days on Bravo.

5:23Ben Mandelker: So Britney is like, I've been thinking about getting a mom makeover for a few years now, which is getting a tummy tuck and getting a lapo and reducing these huge old boobies. And Britney is saying, she just wants to get them out. The last little piece of Jacks. Toodle do. Upgrade. Upgrade. yeah i'll put my life i can't wait to upgrade my life i'm gonna upgrade my life so then we go to

5:47Ronnie Karam: uh dr daniel poor and he's like hey there new mama i love it how you doing sweetie pie good to see i love the boobs who did those me i did them it was me it was me kristen gives him such a big show me that rack pretty girl let me see what i did okay even picasso likes to sit back and look at his own artwork, okay? Get him out of here. Get him out of here.

6:11Ben Mandelker: Yeah, he is like, wow, can you believe it? Ten years, Rob? Wow, can you believe it? Wow, you know, while we did talk about a mommy makeover, he's like, no, yeah, definitely a mommy makeover. Yeah, bro.

6:22Ronnie Karam: I don't want no mommy makeover. I mean, what are you going to do? Change your lipstick? Let's concentrate on me, okay? No, not your mommy. Okay, I'm going to do a makeover for you as a mommy.

6:32Ben Mandelker: That's right, I'm a mommy too. A mommy too. All right, we're going to take those boobies out, but you think we should lift them as well? They're a bit saggy, saggy, saggy, right? High five, high five, right? Chris, you agree, right? High five. Just can't do that for me, please. It's like, I haven't really seen your breasts in a while, so we're going to have to do that. Can you mind? Show me your boobs. Okay, let's take a look.

6:52Ronnie Karam: Brings him out. He's like, hey, old friend, what do you say? Old friend.

6:58Ben Mandelker: God, I haven't seen you guys for a while. Now, let's see. One way that we like to test the density of the breast tissue is I just put my face right in the middle here. Okay, that is a three millimeter density.

7:14Ronnie Karam: I love motorboat. I love motorboat. All right, let's take a quick feel here. Okay, that's my butt. Okay, well, that it is. That it is. Okay, turn around. Give me those bazoombas. Okay, give them to you. Feeling pretty good. Feeling pretty. whoop whoop whoop these are measuring a six incher uh hey wait a minute okay

7:41Ben Mandelker: now we get the the britney uh ken burns backstory i moved from kentucky all the way to l.a within three months i got a boob job and everyone's always like jack's made you get bigger size and he did like encourage me to go bigger than I wanted but I love what my boobs look like back then and I love whenever I first got them done it was the sanctuary I gave birth then then they got so huge and you know then I didn't look like them anymore and uh Daniel turns to Daniel poor

8:19Ronnie Karam: turns to Chris and he's like don't worry you're next he's like I understand what Brittany's going three post-mortem's a bitch. I mean, my boobs are down here. My waist is out here. I'm so angry with myself for not bouncing back faster. You know, it's just difficult. Yeah, being post-mortem, post-mortem, why do I keep saying that? Being post-partum sucks. I mean, that must really suck. I feel

8:41Ben Mandelker: for her. I feel like it's really hard, but I thought it was kind of presumptuous of this Dr. Daniel Poor to basically turn to Chris and be like, you're next. She didn't say that, you know. She's already feeling bad about it.

8:54Ronnie Karam: That's how they are. You know, you can't even be friends with the plastic surgeon because they don't look at your eyes. They just start looking around your face and they're just looking for little landmines and the shit that they can pitch you. You know? Yeah, seriously. Like, oh, you should get this done. You should get that done. It's like, don't let them walk around with a marker. They'll just start drawing on your face.

9:12Ben Mandelker: So he tells Brittany that for the first two weeks, she's going to feel beat up from the liposuction. But then after that, she's going to look fantastic. She's like, oh, great. He's like, I've got no doubts in my mind. She's like, I know. I'm going to cry out my eyes. afterwards, I'll be like, wow, what happened to my face? I got liposuction to white.

9:32Ronnie Karam: So I'm going to step out and I'm going to get the face king in here to give you a little Botox. All right, Kristen. Okay, face king incoming. See you soon, boobs. See you soon, old boobs. New boobs are about to come to you. Bye, my old friends.

9:50Ronnie Karam: So he leaves and then the The face king comes in and Brittany is telling us, yeah, you know, I got my mommy makeover. And it's going to mean a lot to me on many levels. You know, I was talked down to and I was disrespected for the way my body looked after having my beautiful son. And this is going to be amazing because Dr. Leckie and Daniel Poore, they did my first boob job. I mean, they did all in Jackson's nose jobs. What is this like a one stop pet boys? Like what is this? Is this a pet boys? Where are you getting everything done at the same place? You're going to have nostrils on your boobs.

10:25Ronnie Karam: And I don't want to hear you complaining about it. I know.

10:29Ben Mandelker: I think the fact that Jackson needed to have all those nose jobs maybe calls the question. The quality here?

10:35Ronnie Karam: If he had to go back four times, did they do it right? But that's what you get because you're getting that Instagram discount.

10:44Ben Mandelker: IG discount. So, Dr. Leakey comes in and gives Kristen Botox. Face King! And Brittany is like, Well, we gotta be hot mowas. I mean, we already are, but by the way, I'm excited for a girls' night. She's like, Oh yeah. Did you try her outfits on? Or did you just like order a bunch of stuff and like not try it on like per usual? She's like, Well, you know, the dress I already own, okay? But I really wanted to do like a fussy pink hair and like butterfly clips, you know? Like Brandon will be there by the way once we get back from the girls' night and he'll be at my house and like while Brandon's there, We're going to go to dinner tomorrow.

11:15Ben Mandelker: We're going to have a fancy dinner. We're going to have like a steak. It'll be napkins and forks and knives. It'll be real nice and classy and fancy like.

11:22Ronnie Karam: You know who's going to service that steak? The steak king, Dr. Daniel Poore. Oh my God, he's stir steak too? He's like, anybody order some steak? No, not yet. It's tomorrow night. Brandon, steak night. Like, all right. Kristen, don't forget. These could be in you soon. Wait a minute. Those are fillets. Exactly. All right. You two, go on with your scene. so

11:45Ben Mandelker: Krista tells us that she hasn't been out to a bar since before she got pregnant with Kaya and she's like really excited for girls night and it's gonna be at a Y2K themed bar that her friend Katie owns it's called Zero Lounge so yeah they're gonna go celebrate the 2000s they are the aughts

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13:23so then we go over to luke um who thankfully has a shirt buttoned up this scene because he's that's his new thing is that he doesn't wear his shirts

13:34Ben Mandelker: closed and uh he meets up with jason for coffee yeah so jason's like yeah i just came straight

13:41Ronnie Karam: from court you know yeah i got caught sorry it was going to be 20 minutes but then it turned into 30 minutes you know how court is right so did you already order he's like uh yeah i grabbed a spritzer i had so much coffee so jason's like wow why'd you text me he's like well you know i wasn't really like i was hoping this could be a conversation to use you know maybe we could move forward some things or it's like yeah nobody talks to you on this cast why are you calling me just get to the point okay we're here to talk about what an asshole janet is i know but i'm married to her okay so deal with it do you have anything else up your sleeve anything luke is like

14:19Ben Mandelker: um so i just want to check in with you want to know if you guys had any communication with danny and nia and i want to know where your head's at because i mean i know exactly where danny's had that it's in a it's in a large mug of beer and i know what we can always find danny said

14:34Ronnie Karam: it is up somebody's skirt okay but he always apologizes after so always you just have to

14:41Ben Mandelker: look for two soulless black beady eyes under a skirt and that's where danny is he's not doing

14:48Ronnie Karam: really well i asked him the other day i said danny how you feeling and he said

14:55Ronnie Karam: Danny, could you get out of character? God, that guy's such a good actor.

14:59Ben Mandelker: Well, I know what I witnessed. You called Danny a clown and a douche. And that is truly the worst thing I've ever seen anyone do on this show. And that's why I'm more angry about this than anything that Jack Taylor ever did. You called him a clown. You called him a clown and a douche. You called him the C word. He's like, oh, I have respect for women. No, the clown word. Clown. The word is cloud. Sorry, is that going to get bleeped out? Clown?

15:21Ronnie Karam: Sorry. And Jason's like, yeah, you know, but I felt like my wife's character was being attacked and, you know, she was being scapegoated. And that really upset me. And Luke's like, well, I don't really understand escaping goats. That's what fences are for. Okay. Then that's why we have a country man on this show this year. Okay. And she wasn't there to witness what happened. And she was not an involved party in the incident between Danny and Jasmine. He's like, my wife is not a liar.

15:47Ben Mandelker: mm-hmm so jason's like dude you got drunk and you did idiotic things you know i saw this i saw his actions last year and i didn't like his actions did i go too hard and calling him names you know i'm a 40 year old man i shouldn't be calling another 40 year old man names even if they are actually a clown maybe if he was employed as a clown but i guess danny's just not that talented well there i am getting carried away again i should handle myself differently i mean that's what i apologize for and but it's more about the way that he handled himself ever since the way that he has pointed fingers at my wife.

16:15Ben Mandelker: That's my issue with Danny because only my wife is allowed to point fingers.

16:19Ronnie Karam: Yeah, and so Luke's like, well, I mean, there was an attack and you guys participated in it on Danny's character. And he's like, what's the point of this? Do you want to talk about my relationship with Danny or are we talking about us? Like, what are we doing here? And he's like, I'm trying to come to you because there are some steps that need to be taken to prevent it from going too far. Where it's beyond irreparable, like being able to build it back. okay this this whole thing from last year is crazy danny did do what he was being accused of okay he did so like going and standing up for danny all the time is a little bit much yes janet is an asshole and she took it too far but that's like i don't even i don't even know i think luke's the only one willing to take to talk to jason you know yeah i mean obviously jason why is jason obviously doesn't care what luke thinks so the scene is a little hard to watch it's jason

17:09Ben Mandelker: and Janet are clearly being iced out by the cast. Like, they're not at this, they're not at the party at the end of the episode, obviously. I mean, they would never be. It's at Daniel and Nia's house. But they're also, they, Janet was not part of the Y2K party. Like, they're being pushed out. And these shows just don't operate as well when the cast is trying to ice someone else. It just never, ever, ever works out right. It never produces good content. It's not compelling for us to sit in the middle of like a vicious feud. It's okay. We like, We like a boiling tension, but we don't like when it's just like, okay, now we've got to navigate strange shooting schedules.

17:49Ben Mandelker: Are they going to be there? Then I can't be there. Are they going to be there? I can't be there. We don't really like that. And so I kind of am at the point of like, I think I'm ready to move on from this fight. And like you said, Danny did do these things. And can we stop defending Danny's honor? Like Danny is not great.

18:09Ronnie Karam: Yeah, well, that's the thing. Danny did do this stuff, and I think Janet and Jason did take it way too far. So I get that. But just being like, you, you came for Danny. But Danny did do those things. So they need to have some kind of argument that like, I don't know, because even Danny in this is like, they ruined my life. No, but you did those things. I think at the end of the day, you got nothing for nothing. But Danny is forgiven by Jasmine. She's at the party, and they're getting along. So I think it's up to Jasmine more than anybody else to forgive Danny, I would say. Yeah. And the Janet, I mean, that's why Janet really does do this to herself.

18:47Ben Mandelker: You know, that's why Janet was in the, made a mess of it last year because it was sort of settled. And Janet really, she did, she just, she butted in on something. And I understand that. I actually think Janet has a claim to be able to say, like, I experienced things like this in the past. So it's a sensitive topic and I'm not going to let someone get away with it with just like a slap on the wrist. But like she overstepped in this, in this fight and she got, she got it from all sides from the cast from America. I don't know. I just, I'm like ready to move on from it. Like I don't, I don't need to sit in this fight.

19:24Ben Mandelker: Like I think like we punished Janet. I think she's, she's gone to therapy. We don't know whether it's like a performative therapy or a real therapy, but at least she's doing something. Danny has not done anything by the way that we've seen to adjust

19:39Ronnie Karam: he has pressured his wife for sex two seconds after having a baby he is definitely doing something it's not anything good it's not anything that's making him look good obviously I think Janet's a huge asshole and always have but I think the problem I'm having is that we're carrying this to this year and now it's turning into like oh poor Danny which I'm not really into because first of all, Danny's being a jackass this season and he did do that stuff. So I don't, I don't like the argument of like, Oh my God, poor Danny. I don't like that. We're reframing it that way this season. I think the argument should be like, this was bad.

20:19Ronnie Karam: You know, Danny did something bad. He apologized. Janet, Jasmine got over it. Janet needs to get the fuck. Everybody needs to get the fuck over it, you know, but then he's going to talk to Jason to be like, you guys get over it but then his wife is one of the ones who refuses to get over it or invite anybody anywhere right either so it's like well you talk to your own talk to your own people like why are you lecturing him about how this just this isn't gonna work it's just not gonna work

20:47Ben Mandelker: i also really enjoyed janet as a villain and i don't like having like my villain sidelined like you you know you're shut the show needs a villain danny is looking like he's sort of moving into that place this year but like don't don't put don't keep your villain on the sidelines too much longer okay we need to have some real conflict here so i say get her back in the mix or the mix

21:13Ronnie Karam: or get rid of her and recast you know have somebody else come in which probably would be the best thing i mean maybe they're counting on lala being their villain because you know lala's trying it today but i don't need to see lala either you know i don't need i don't need retread and I'll just work on it show just work on it that's all I'm saying so Jason's like well I mean I guess I could see a friendship rekindling with Danny and Nia but that would entail things on their part for that to happen and I'm not a fan of people who do something terrible and apologize but make absolutely no life changes because it's like you're going to do it again which you could also say for Janet who's walking around just saying she went to therapy and then expecting apologies from everybody.

21:56Ben Mandelker: But that's funny to me. Like, that's, that's like a funny, that's a funny thing for me. I love when people are not self-aware. Like, it's like, I went to therapy and now like, you can, like, you can apologize to me now. That's like comedy. Like, I like that. Okay. So Kristen and Luke's, they are getting ready for Y2K. And then Brittany is getting ready. And she's like, we're not going to disappoint. we're gonna be hot while two cares no yeah what was the last time you went out she's like i don't even know it's like yeah well i mean because it's been like baby baby baby baby baby baby it's like yeah it's been like four years literally i like i don't even know the last time that i like

22:36Ronnie Karam: went out out like out out you know no we're gonna have fun tonight why two cares my two cares She's like, yeah, mom's night out. It's going to be so, so good. So Michelle comes and they're like, oh, my God, we're going to be matchy matchy. We're on the same Amazon page. She's like, I need help with my butterfly. Wait, what? Are those butterfly clips? Okay, we got you. I love butterfly clips. Yeah, I'm glad I'm going on a night out with the girls. But like I'm exclusively breastfeeding. And so she comes everywhere I go. So I got us a party bus so I could leave the party bus. and then feed her on the part she won't take a bottle.

23:19Ronnie Karam: You know who takes bottles? Starving babies.

23:26Ronnie Karam: I'm sure leave her on that bus until she's hungry enough to take the bottle. That's what I say.

23:34Ben Mandelker: You will take this bottle, baby. So Brittany is like, I love going out. Now I'm just so tired. She's like, yeah, I'd love to bring my friends out to the club. Like I would, I'd be wearing like sandals, a little romper and hair and a ponytail and just go to the club and like, I'd live like my best life with zero effort. And now it's like, oh, let's do all the things if she wants to go out. Am I right, girls? Yeah.

24:01Ronnie Karam: I mean, I would go to the club and it would be like crazy. It would be like 11, like the sun would be out and they would like pass around bread and wine. That's church. Oh, God, it really has been a long time.

24:15Ben Mandelker: I unloaded the bottle washer and four bottles. Oh, wait, that's you, Kristen. Weren't you telling me about that? Yeah, seriously. I did the same thing. I unloaded the bottle washer and four bottles next to it. Did you get the diapers ready? Luke, Luke, Luke. Pajamas are ready. Go. Are you ready? Luke, Luke. I am your wife. You know what I'm doing. He's like, yes, I've got it, Kristen. I'm just, I'm nervous. I'm not nervous about leaving Kaya with Luke. I'm just like, really? I'm like, I just really like being with my kid. Shoulder, shoulder to ear move. classic kristin doady shoulder to your move i feel like i'm gonna miss her first laugh or like the first time she tells someone to suck a dick and like i just like i have real big like mom guilt about that and regret i'm determined her first words are gonna be suck a dick diana and i want to be there i want to be there when she gets hired to work at sir i just want to be there

25:01Ronnie Karam: in that moment so zach is calling from the bus he's like i'm on the party bus where are you where are you you're like not even on the party bus i'm like partying all alone whoop whoop

25:13Ben Mandelker: yeah well I was talking to Luke and Kaya sorry no ma 'am they exist later let's party I almost forgot my engagement ring bye Luke bye baby don't talk without me bye

25:27Ronnie Karam: so Brittany's like oh my god I look like a Y2K prostitute isn't that your style this is the perfect style for Brittany I love that Brittany's pretending like oh I'm gone at months Brittany, you go out like five times a week. I know. This is your look.

25:46Ben Mandelker: This is your look book. Yeah, seriously. Like Y2K. She looks like she could be an extra fur. She's all that. So Luke is like, so you guys are cutting into Kristen's bar time. Come on, go get out of here. I need to jerk off. It's like, okay, bye. So they get on the bus and it's like, mom's night out. Here's to Kristen having sex tonight. and then they get to this lounge and no one is there. Commercials, here comes one right now.

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26:57Ronnie Karam: Hi, this is Mark Bittman from the podcast Food with Mark Bittman.

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27:32Ronnie Karam: so they go to a place called zero lounge it's a y2k party nobody's there and it's on hollywood it's on the desolate hollywood ballpark there is no better representation of this show and what it stands for than this night seriously so sad it's so sad so they're like short short short um and um christian says cheers to snakes and condoms two things we don't fuck with

28:04Ben Mandelker: and then jasmine is talking to michelle at the bar and jasmine's like so are you and jesse good we are okay he has his moments it's like melissa's like i understand what you're going through a thousand percent and i know how hard it must be to have everybody be like oh but i like him but i like him jasmine's like yeah that's gonna be hard for you to hear that it's like well if we weren't all part of this friend group. I don't think it would be the way it is. Jasmine's like, yeah, I get it. Because, like, you know, you could say a lot about a lot of people here, though. Like, Lala, I love her. But honestly, like, outside of this group, she would not be hanging out with me.

28:39Ben Mandelker: I know that for a fact. Yes, I am going to get a drink. And I most definitely will not be telling that to Lala.

28:48Ronnie Karam: I know. She goes straight up to Lala. She's like, I will get a drink. I will be right back. Hello, Lala. why do you never hang out with Jasmine? And she's like, we just went to dinner the other night. It was like very nice. It was like so cute. Yeah, but I was dogging shit about Jazzy and Jasmine. And basically I was like, if I feel like if this was happening, things would be different. And she's like, no, I feel like certain people are like that. Like maybe Lala is like that. And Lala's like, what? That is disheartening. Does she know that I just fucked a pool boy?

29:21Ben Mandelker: by the way michelle totally butchered everything about that conversation jasmine was just saying yeah if we weren't on the same show together lala and i probably wouldn't be hanging out like this is we don't naturally hang out right but michelle went and told lala that um jasmine said that lala is so fake and is only pretending to be friends with jasmine essentially for the show which is a hundred percent not what jasmine was saying it's not even what what michelle was saying with Michelle was saying like normally yeah I wouldn't normally have to hang out with Jesse it's really annoying but I have to because we're on this show together yeah I mean I think

29:58Ronnie Karam: that Lala is the one who kind of took it and twisted it because she said and then she's like no I feel like certain people are like that maybe Lala's like that which is kind of what she said but I think she probably meant it in the way that you said it but then Lala takes it and makes it like, oh, she's calling me a fake bitch, which I guess she kind of was, but I think she's just saying like, Lala's here suddenly and part of this friend group, but she wasn't before. Like now we're supposed to pretend we're all friends with Lala? The fuck?

30:27Ben Mandelker: I just, I don't think that Jasmine said anything that was like terribly malicious. I think she's just kind of like, yeah, we're not like, we wouldn't naturally be hanging out. Whether the subtext is because Lala's a fake bitch or it's just because we have different lives. But Michelle definitely delivers it in a way that sounds much worse than it was delivered.

30:47Ronnie Karam: Yeah. Well, I'm wondering what Jasmine was thinking here because of course she's going to go straight to Lala. She knows that Lala's in the Janet clique. You know, like if you say anything to Michelle or Lala, that's like the Janet clique or Britney, you know? It's like, you know that Michelle's going to run right behind your back. Right. But of course Michelle does. and now Lala's like, well, I don't know where she's even pulling this from. Like, I've been authentic and real since the day I entered the fucking world with a little tiny gun in my hands and a bandana around my head. And, you know, anyone who fucked with me was a pop, pop, pop, pop, pop.

31:26Ben Mandelker: Old McDonald had a farm. I've got a pistol, motherfucker. Like, okay, okay.

31:35Ben Mandelker: So Lala's like, hey, hey, Jasmine. Hey, hey. And Michelle's like, oh, my God, I am not trying to start drama. Yes, you are, you fucking faker. You literally did. You literally started drama. Like, you knew that if you went and reported that back to Lala, that would cause drama. And you knew Lala was not going to sit there quietly either.

31:54Ronnie Karam: Yeah, so Jasmine's like, okay, what? You trying to talk to me? Hey. And she's like, Michelle said that. And Michelle's like, oh, no, oh, my gosh, I do not like drama. I was dogging about Jesse. I was saying he can be like a showman or whatever. and you're like, I feel like some people can be like that too. Okay, well, she didn't say she was a showman and you didn't say that. Now's the twisting. Now the twisting comes in. Now you're making up stuff. Yeah, Lala's like, you mentioned my name.

32:22Ben Mandelker: Jasmine's like, I did not say that. Yes, you did. She's like, no, I did not. What I said was that in that conversation with you, I wasn't like, oh, I can say the same thing about Lala. I wasn't like that. She's like, okay, can you calm down, please? which is a little micro aggression-y from Michelle. And Jasmine's like, can you calm down? Don't talk to me that way. And Michelle's like, I am saying I'm trying to be nice. Michelle, you went and just like basically gossiped to Lala, made Jasmine sound like she's being really bitchy over in the corner. And Jasmine was having a perfectly benign conversation.

32:55Ben Mandelker: And then she gets upset. And then you're telling her to calm down. And Jasmine's like, yeah, don't speak to me like that. I'm not your child. You're not going to speak to me like that. It's like, well, you're getting really upset.

33:06Ronnie Karam: Yeah, here we go. Here we go. Michelle is going to piss somebody off. And then once they're pissed, she's going to go, oh, my God, why are you so mad? You're just so aggressive. Oh, my God, why are you so mad? And then guess who else is going to do it? Lala. Lala is going to do the exact same thing. So now they're just going to gang up on Jasmine playing this bullshit. Is anybody surprised? Is anybody surprised that these people who were taken off TV for being problematic are now going to just show back? up and be problematic again. I'm not. Yeah.

33:35Ben Mandelker: Jasmine's like, well, I don't care. I can be upset. I'm an emotional person. That's what I do. I was like, honestly, to be real about this, I don't think me and Lala would be, would be friends or hanging out. And Lala's like, I take offense to that because we had a wonderful times and I have a very, very hard time connecting with people and opening up to people. And I'm very guarded. It takes a lot for me to leave my bubbles, you know, I'm like, Oh God, my, I, I don't know why I really get so annoyed when people say this as if I should get a trophy because you decided to get past your psychological bullshit.

34:07Ben Mandelker: I don't know. Like I've said this, I feel like I just had this rant like a week ago or so. Yeah. When people are like, I'm so guarded and I, you know how hard it is for me to not be guarded and I was less guarded with you and this is how you treat me. I'm like, oh, like it's not my fault that you like can't deal with your shit like that. Sorry, it's not my fault.

34:28Ronnie Karam: You're not doing me a favor by blessing me with your present. You know, that's what it's like. I'm a blessing to you. How dare you? It's not all about you and you being a blessing to everybody else. We're blessing each other by being in each other's presence. So, yeah, it's annoying when people get like that. And especially people like Lala, because like how many friends do you have? Do you have any that aren't your mother or your brother? Like who? Who are they? Janet. She's acting like, oh, wow, I really opened up to you. No, you didn't. You started shooting a show that she was on. You started, you came onto someone else's show.

35:01Ronnie Karam: And so now you're planning scenes to do with them. It's not like, oh, wow, I'm really opening up to this person. You're hanging out with her because now you're getting a paycheck where she's been in your circle for years and years and you haven't hung out. So it's pretty natural for her to be like, this girl has never wanted to hang out with me before. But now she wants to come on our TV show and act like we're friends. So I think that's fair.

35:22Ben Mandelker: well the irony is you know i always have told the story about how uh one time lala and rand um were were swimming at the pool uh and my my old apartment building and that's where lala was talking she's talking all this shit about faith and she was saying let the peasants be peasants the person she was telling it to was one of the logans and jasmine jasmine was the other person that was there in that pool that day so like they definitely were like friends at one point enough that they were like talking shit about faith at my, at my, at my home, basically. But now the irony is that now they're fighting and they're acting like they had no friendship in the first place.

36:01Ronnie Karam: Yeah, so Lala continues on and she's like, I don't trust people. And anytime I've opened up to somebody, I go home and then I beat myself up because I feel like I've given them a piece of me that they didn't deserve. Oh my God, you've left pieces of you all over this town. Give me a fucking break.

36:16Ben Mandelker: is it pieces of you or is it just pieces of silicone at this point like what is it

36:22Ronnie Karam: nobody wants pieces put them back in your box okay yeah okay let's let's relax your ashley

36:29Ben Mandelker: simpson with your pieces of you all over the place um it's just so funny like it's when lala does the like the i'm like vulnerable thing it just cracks me up because i give you a pieces of me. I'm Gardensk. Okay? This whole attitude, it's because I'm Gardensk. Okay? I'm like, okay, it's fine, fine. You left pieces around. That's fine.

36:56Ronnie Karam: Pick up your pieces. You know, clean up after yourself. And so she's saying, so now that she hears Jasmine throwing her name out there, she's just really upset. Now she pumps the brakes. And she goes, damn. I should have known. Okay. So Jasmine's like, okay, are we good? And she's like, yeah, we're fine. All is good. Like, Jesus Christ. This fucking group.

37:16Ben Mandelker: You came back to it. So then everyone's dancing, and then Nia has to go out to the party bus to feed her baby, and so Kristen comes out and joins. She goes, I brought you your mocktail. And Nia's like, oh, thank you. She's just finishing nursing. It's just like, my body says, it's time to feel the baby, so I knew. And I'm just praying for the next two or three weeks I can get her in the bottle, because I don't have to have a baby in my nipple. Yeah, you tried breast milk in a bottle and she won't do it? But yeah, that's why I said I hope I can get her out of the bottle. Come on, keep up, Kristen.

37:49Ronnie Karam: That's crazy because half this cast is trying to get off the bottle. I don't know if this baby belongs on this cast. So she says, Adelaide is three months old and she hasn't taken a bottle. And I'm her only source of food. Adelaide, by the way, is so cute. She looks like a little old man in a cartoon. Her little face. She's just like, what are you looking at? You want a piece? I mean, come on over here. Get the fuck off my lawn.

38:16Ben Mandelker: Oh, my God. Adelaide's giving people pieces of her, too. Oh, my God. I know they should have the session with Lala. She knows how to use a baby bottle. Yeah, she does.

38:27Ronnie Karam: She's been using them longer than the baby. Yeah. So she's like, yeah, but my kids are my world. It's just a lot. You know, I know I asked for this. She does that whole thing where she's like, oh, my God, this sucks. Like, my baby won't even take a bottle. I'm stuck here. I'm a prisoner to this baby. I'm stuck in it. But I like it. And I know I chose it. And it's great. You know what? I have chosen fish sandwiches at every restaurant I've ever gone to. But there have been a couple of times where I've ordered a fish sandwich. That's why I really like to read this season. It was a fish sandwich storyline.

39:00Ronnie Karam: But there have been times where I've bitten into that fish sandwich and said, you know what? I don't like this fish sandwich. And I sent it back. You know why? Because sometimes I order things and then I don't like it. And that's my prerogative. send back that baby. Now we're moving into Bobby Brown. I love it. Send back that baby. Call the waiter over and say, this baby is too needy. Get me a less needy baby.

39:28Ben Mandelker: Yeah, honestly, just send it back. If he's talking all this stuff about me, why can't they just let me live my life with a fish sandwich?

39:38Ronnie Karam: Yeah, I'll still pay for it. I don't want to be a big pain in the ass. just take away the baby bring me another baby and i'll still pay for that baby i don't care

39:48Ben Mandelker: so kristen's saying um i feel bad for luke but my libido just is non-existent like it definitely affects our relationship and i'm grateful that he says he's never gonna stop trying because he feels like he if he stops trying it's never gonna happen so it's nice to still feel wanted even though i don't feel that way about myself at all so then britney is talking with zach and lala britney's Okay, both of you guys are ready to go to meet you guys are gonna be Brandon And there is housewarming you excited and Zack is like, um, are you guys like you guys aren't like together, right? Like you guys are an excuse.

40:18Ben Mandelker: I'm just asking. He's like no I'm not going I'm gonna take things slow like of course. I'm not and I'm the we're not we're not point king or anything like that Zyac stop

40:29Ronnie Karam: Well, this not been fun, but Brandon's gonna be waiting for me at home. I'm ready to get it on I'm out what you going?

40:39Ben Mandelker: talk about a y2k bug so uh they uh they get on the bus and they head out and michelle's like

40:46Ronnie Karam: britney is like what everybody thought was going to happen in y2k where new year's happens but the computers don't know how to deal with it and so they just keep setting back 100 years and fuck up everything but it only really affects one person in upstate new york at a video store

41:03Ben Mandelker: uh i feel like britney is the lady in independence day who holds the sign up on the top of the skyscraper welcoming the aliens and the aliens just destroy the building remember that lady she was like welcome aliens welcome welcome welcome it's gonna be one of two guys saved

41:18Ronnie Karam: aliens come on so they get back on the bus to go home at probably like 7 45 and um michelle's like we are in Hollywood. This old bugging dime, I had no clue. I thought we were in the bugging valley. I'm more drunk than this bitch.

41:36Ben Mandelker: I really identified with that because one time our friend Katie, Katie Cazorla, she once had a party down in Marina del Rey on one of those boats like the one that you will be on down in San Diego. And afterwards we like all got onto like a party bus to take us back to wherever the next destination was. We went to a party in the hills. but the windows in the bus were like they fogged up and so like we couldn't i had no idea where we were going and it was so oddly distressing to just to be in this vehicle that's moving and you feel it's moving but you have no idea where you are and then all of a sudden you emerge and it's like dark and you're like i don't know where i am um so i really identified michelle lally in that

42:17Ronnie Karam: moment i feel like i have never stepped out on hollywood boulevard and thought i was anywhere else Hollywood Boulevard I mean there's just a certain there's a look to it there's literally there's a smell to it I mean there's a feel to the air you just get out and you're like ugh like you feel it seeping through your pores you know there's no mistake

42:36Ben Mandelker: in Hollywood Boulevard are you saying the woman who married Jesse Lally may have had blinders on

42:45Ronnie Karam: so now we go to Kristen and Luke's house it's the next morning and he's making pancakes and she's like Kyle you want to go girls night Yo, mama went out last night. You're gonna go one day. Well, it was weird. It was weird. There was no Kaia there. And Luke's like, I get to go to guys night, right? How's that for a pancake stack? Yeah, you like that?

43:05Ben Mandelker: It was a good pancake stack, by the way. Did you notice there was a good amount of volume on those pancakes? I was impressed. So Kristen's like, come on, get over here. Give me those pancakes. Give them, give them. So Luke is like, well, I thought you were gonna come home a little drunk and I was hoping you would. You feel good. Yeah, I'm okay. We're not having sex. Okay, but maybe now do you want to have sex? No! No, it's only been three seconds. No, girls' night was perfect. I'm waking up. I'm not hungover. I'm just well-rested. I didn't have to have sex, and Luke's bringing me breakfast in bed, and I will schedule my next girls' night immediately.

43:37Ben Mandelker: Caca, Mariposa.

43:39Ronnie Karam: She says, he's like, are you hungover? And she's like, no, I can't be hungover and have a baby. And I was like, oh my God, this is definitely your first. I'm about to say, amateur hour.

43:50Ronnie Karam: so Kristen FaceTimes Michelle and by the way if you're not hungover when you've just had a baby it's because you're still drinking so Kristen FaceTimes Michelle and Michelle's like oh my god I am dying like after that I went to gay bars last night and Kristen's like you were at the Abbey she's like no that is a great bar I went to all the gay bars around the Abbey with Zag I stayed out and they'll do 30 in the morning

44:16Ben Mandelker: I'm kind of jealous I am so hungover and I just went to and I have a show to show a house in an hour so I'm like oh great well you look fantastic thank you I can't believe I just showed a cheeseburger on TV I must go hide in shame bye bye now

44:36Ronnie Karam: congratulations you've reached the end of part one of a two part recap for part two go look for the recap that says part two See you over there, suckers.

45:14Ronnie Karam: With Dylan Clark. Big yay, it's Emily Gauthier.

45:18Ben Mandelker: Erin McNicholas, she don't miss no trick-a-less. You'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones. I go, you go, we all go for Hugo. Jamie, she has no less namey.

45:29Ronnie Karam: Sip some scotch with Jessica Trotch.

45:31Ben Mandelker: She's not a McBee, she's a McBride. Jess McBride. She's our favorite streamer, Caroline Peacock.

45:37Ronnie Karam: Kristen the Piston Anderson. Que sera, sera, whatever we'll be, we'll Lauren Silsby. She gets an A from us, it's Lindsay D Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McHenry

45:51Ben Mandelker: Aren't you glad it's Marianne Arns?

45:54Ronnie Karam: Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the Berg

45:57Ben Mandelker: This is Livin' with Michelle Vivian

46:00Ronnie Karam: I love a ya, Olivia Williamson

46:02Ben Mandelker: She sure is swell, it's Raquel

46:04Ronnie Karam: Yes we canna, it's Sadana

46:06Ben Mandelker: Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman Let's share with Sharon Eldridge Darn Skippy, it's Tippi.

46:13Ronnie Karam: And our super premium sponsors. She's VVIP, it's Amanda V.

46:18Ben Mandelker: Can I have a Kavanaugh? It's Anna Kavanaugh. Somebody get us 10 cc's of Betsy MD.

46:23Ronnie Karam: We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. Let's get real with Caitlin O 'Neill. Put us on a stretcher, it's Charlotte Fletcher. Hogle your horses, it's Christine Hogle. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily sides.

46:39Ben Mandelker: Who, what, why, where, and Gwen. Pentland. Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall. We got our wish. It's Jen Plisch. My favorite Murdo, Karen McMurdo. Let's get savage with Laura Wildman. In the study with a candlestick, it's Leslie Peacock. We're ride or die for Lisa Ryder Barron. She's a whiz. It's Liz Sarthy. Always killing it. It's Lola Alkalani. Roger that. It's Marlis Rogers.

47:04Ronnie Karam: The incredible edible Matthews sisters. She eases our woes. It's Melissa St. Rose. She's the lady of the house. It's Rachel Sharaus. There's a chance of meatballs. It's Rebecca Cloud. She's our princess. It's Rebecca Prince.

47:18Ben Mandelker: Maximum love for Sandy Maximoska. She's the queen bee. It's Sarah Lemke. We cannot tell a lie. It's Sarah Talafson. Shannon out of a cannon Anthony. Please don't stop. It's Soli and Pop. Let's take off with Tam LaPlane. Strike a pose. It's Tori Rose.

47:35Ronnie Karam: She ain't no shrinking Violet Kuchar. We love you guys.

47:51Ronnie Karam: We'll be right back.

48:11Ben Mandelker: through 27th. Way fair, every style, every home.

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