#3336 RHORI S1E05: Schooner or Later You’re Gonna Be Lyin’

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1:06Ben Mandelker: Watch What Crappens

1:30Ben Mandelker: Hi, Ronnie. How's it going?

1:33Ronnie Karam: Good. Welcome to the show, everybody. If you want this recap on video, you get that at Patreon. That's also where you get bonus episodes. This week will be a Top Chef discuss. You get ad-free listening. You get Discord server. And you get a free newsletter that comes out. You can get that anyway. That comes out every week. So just go sign up there for that. It's like a blog of what happened during the week on TV that I write. So go over there and get it, okay? You don't even have to pay for anything. Go over there and get it for free. It'll show up right in your mailbox. Today is Real Housewives of Rhode Island Season 1, Episode 5.

2:12Ben Mandelker: Wow. Exciting times. It's exciting. It is actually exciting times. It's a very entertaining episode. I am enjoying this show more and more every episode. It's good. And it starts off with Alicia's house. and she's putting together a flower arrangement or she calls it flower arrangement. And so she's looking at it and she's like, oh my God, I did a good job. I got to show Billy. He's going to be so proud of my flowers. So he's like, oh, nice. It's good. He's like, who's coming over? It's like, oh, it's Joellen and Liz. Yeah, they're coming over. Okay, well, I'm blowing up floats for adults. Isn't this hilarious?

2:49Ben Mandelker: Yeah, it's real hilarious, Billy. It's really hilarious. You want a cracker?

2:54Ronnie Karam: I want a cracker. So now we got a rules and Rua's on the phone checking on things at the office. And she's like, hey, assistant, do me a favor. Can you just let me know if my schedule's open for next Thursday? I have to plug some things in. I don't want to overlap. I think we need to clone me. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Are you already a clone? You're like a fifth clone. I think you are a clone. You're like that point in the clone where everything just starts going wrong. you know they're like well the clone put too much detergent in the washer and now the house is full

3:31Ben Mandelker: of bubbles yeah she's a clone of a clone of a clone um then at rosie's house she's talking to her dog and then she starts facetiming her friend anthony who is one of her gay friends and and anthony's gonna have a surprise party for his partner jack on a boat which i don't know how surprising that can be when you show up to a boat it's like it's your birthday and we're going on a giant boat but they're gonna have that and it's gonna be the aurora schooner and so rosie's excited she's like jack and anthony are two of my favorite people on rhode island and we all just kind of like run in the same gay circle if you will and rosie is definitely the sort of girl that goes to the abbey and then says gays love me um so enjoy we're like no we just feel like

4:18Ronnie Karam: we have to be nice to you because you're dressed like a unicorn ice princess like you have to be nice to you you know you look like you just walked through rainbow glass you know so they don't they pronounce it schooner on this show i thought it was schooner too but i think they keep saying the

4:33Ben Mandelker: schooner i have no idea if i if i'm saying it wrong i will be mortified because i just can't bear the idea that like the rhode island ladies are saying it more correctly than i am i'll look it up right now everyone don't you worry schooner pronunciation well whenever i answer is schooner i thought it was schooner but i think on this show they're pronouncing it

4:56Ronnie Karam: schooner i heard somebody saying schooner and i was like is that how you say it so anyway um she's like oh my god we're in the same gay circle and anthony says yeah i mean you could totally invite a couple of the girls i mean we'll get the girls and the gays together what is more fun for a gay's birthday than a real housewives party please do it for me please make sure ashley comes because she's

5:20Ben Mandelker: just the epitome of what gays love so she says well i really want to go but you know like last

5:26Ronnie Karam: time i saw the girls that didn't go well they hate me like they don't even want to be around me i guess i'll invite them he's like yes do because basically i can make friends with all of them and dump you because really no one wants to be friends with the person that nobody likes on housewives

5:39Ben Mandelker: so okay get it together rosie chop chop yep that's exactly what's gonna happen so then joellen shows up at Alicia's house and Alicia's like oh my god you look beautiful I'm so sorry you look gorgeous I'm so glad to see you I just you know I made you flowers and so Joellen's like oh my god you made me flowers she's like yeah I made you flowers look look at this look look at these flowers oh my god thanks Alicia for the flowers you did this is just so nice and Alicia's like hey Billy did you say hi to Joellen she just lost her grandfather I made her flowers she made me flowers. I lost my grandfather.

6:13Ben Mandelker: Oh, you lost your grandfather? Did you see the flowers? I saw the flowers. The flowers are real nice. Those are for my grandfather, right? Yeah, those flowers are for your grandfather.

6:22Ronnie Karam: So she talks about how important her grandfather was to her and she's like, so wait, was your grandfather? Was he my neighbor? She's like, yeah, he lived in Cranston. She goes, yeah, oh, you know what? I remember him. I remember him. Yeah, I remember him. Yeah, did he work at Superior Bakery also? Don't have much to say about him, but you know, I do remember him.

6:43Ben Mandelker: He used to come to Superior Bakery. He was an old guy, right? He was making pizza chips. Was he old? Yeah, small guy. Old guy. Old guy. Did he drive? Did he go to Cranston? Yeah, he was a nice guy. He was in neighborhood.

6:53Ronnie Karam: Yeah, I remember him. I remember him. You know what? You should tell him, like, if he was still alive, you should have told him, stay at a crosswalks. It's not good. It's not good around. He just dove right in front of my car. I couldn't help it. So, Jowellyn talks about this a bit. And then we go to Alicia's house and, um, uh, we're still at Alicia's house. She's answering the door. Someone else is there. And I'm saying, Oh my God, look at you. It's Liz. Look at you. Look at that dress. What's wrong with you? You look too pretty. Like I can't even, I can't even have you in my house. It's not for people that pretty.

7:24Ronnie Karam: I'm sorry. Except for my best friends. Hi babies. Hi babies. You guys stay in there. She's brushing the hair of one of those dolls.

7:31Ben Mandelker: So Liz comes in with like a giant bouquet. She's like, Oh my God, I got some flowers here. And Alicia's like, oh my God, those are gorgeous flowers. I mean, here I am thinking I'm all cute because I made these little flowers. Yuck, yo, your flowers are very cute. They're just a bit smaller than mine, but they're nice. See, those are beautiful. Oh, see, I love your flowers, see. And Billy's like, what did you call her? Cece, you know. That's what I always call her since we've known each other for 15 years. You ever listen to what I say, Billy? Come on.

8:03Ronnie Karam: You didn't know that? She calls me Cece. Cece, Cece, you know, Cece, Cece. sometimes there's four cccc that's what she calls me he's like all right i'm really never blow up fucking billy doesn't pay attention i can't even believe i can't even believe yeah billy does not pay any attention okay this is the man that wants to have children with somebody and then give them nothing in a divorce give them zero so yeah that's billy for you so they get food to go hang out in the backyard and stuff. And they want to talk about what happened at the last event. So Liz is like, Alright, here's what went on.

8:45Ronnie Karam: After real explorers went around the bonfire, and everyone found Liz, why are people afraid of you? Blah, blah, blah. But then Rosie out of the clear blue looks at Cece and says, Why don't you tell her what you were really saying the other day? And Alicia stands up and goes You fucking whore Welcome to Rhode Island you fucking bitch And Ashley's like this You know she's a wuss I'm dying I'm dying I mean I kind of feel

9:18Ben Mandelker: Bad a little bit that I call to a whore I mean that's a Rhode Island thing You just say whore cause it feels good That's what we do in Rhode Island I don't know if you know about that Roger Williams his whole thing was he would go around And being like this city's called providence or we just like it you know and rosie took the words and twisted it okay because that was like a sensitive subject when i was talking about liz and i and i was like no you didn't because like i had your back for so long and i kept saying oh you got to get a know her you got to get it she's a light she's this and that but that turns out i was wrong she was just a whore all along sorry that was really fun for me to say just now by the way did you notice there was a moment where Liz said something like oh I brought some champagne.

10:03Ben Mandelker: A little hair of the dog. And then Alicia goes no the dogs are at my sister's place. I think she didn't totally understand that.

10:13Ronnie Karam: Oh Alicia. She goes yeah you know what I see red and then I don't come back. I don't come back. And Liz goes please you come back within seconds. What are you talking about? And then we see her flip-flopping right away. She's like okay I forgive you. I love you. I love you. Like two seconds after calling her a whore. And so Joellen's like, well, did she say anything about me? No, I didn't. I'm shocked. She didn't say anything about you. She goes, okay, well, did Rula say anything about me? No. Nobody even spoke of you. Joellen's like, damn.

10:44Ben Mandelker: Oh, shit. I gotta say this. Attacking Rula right now is kind of like low-lying fruit, Jo. She's visibly going through it like something's going on she's like don't bother with this storyline it's not worth it at least just like guys can we go step up reading the pools okay let's do that so they go over the pool and then we see um a flashback and then we come back and liz is like she's like at this point i'm feeling like ruler doesn't want to know like what i would appreciate is ruler just say it's none of your fucking business i'll do with you how i want thank you but no thank you You know something like that You know but that's not what she's Doing so Joellen's like I feel Bad for her she's at least yeah well that's Good this you should feel bad for her she's like well I feel Like you know that he's making a fool Of her and I'm empathetic to it a bit

11:39Ronnie Karam: And she's like you know that's not nice That he's doing that and Liz is like Well you're saying you're Empathetic I think you might be Lacking a little bit in the Empathetic department I think you might be okay You don't even got that in. You stop it. So they all start laughing. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappens commercial.

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14:16Ronnie Karam: And then we go to Kelsey's and Kelsey's is organizing a salon room in her sugar daddy's mansion. And Ashley comes over and she's like, oh my God, this is a gorgeous house. This house could be like the next bachelor house. It's like it could be two bachelor houses. I was on the bachelor.

14:38Ben Mandelker: She's like, this is amazing. You have like a salon room and what's this room in here? It's like, this is the barista room. Your husband's been in there all morning. Kathy, we've got the cinnamon latte ready. Oh my God, everywhere I go.

14:55Ronnie Karam: So Kelsey takes clients in there whenever someone will come see her because I've always done hair and makeup since prom, you know, doing my friends, doing my own. I just think my passion for it really started taking off once I started doing pageants. And then we see hair that she's done. she shoves pictures and yikes i mean it is definitely pageant hobby hair yeah it's all

15:16Ben Mandelker: kind of like congrats on going to the junior prom hair you know it's nice i guess but um so kelsey is saying like you know i can hustle and i've hustled before when i first met my boyfriend i was a waitress and i lived with my parents in a middle class household and i went strength from my parents' house to this house. And then after that, I never had to work. But if I decide to leave, I'm going to need to start being self-sufficient. I'm like, yeah, that will go very well for you, I'm sure. Or if you decide to leave, you can just move in with the other guy. And that's probably what you would do.

15:52Ben Mandelker: So, yeah.

15:53Ronnie Karam: No, I think that guy lives with his parents or something. I wasn't sure about what was happening with that guy, but he's like, it'll be smaller. um so then kelsey's like yeah you know like when my boyfriend built this house he had this intention of getting his haircut here so that that was before me and ashley's like no way that is so bougie they would have done that in the bachelor house i was on the bachelor says yeah well when i moved in here i was like this house is made for me it has a haircut room yeah so ashley's asking about the sugar daddy does he have kids and she's like yeah and she goes yeah i want to say they're like um like three years younger than me she goes oh my god she goes yeah you part your hair in the middle right yeah oh my god you and my sister have so many similarities she's a hairstylist too and then we see her lying on a kitchen counter yeah and her sister doing her hair

16:48Ben Mandelker: it's like what are you going to go to her sister's salon she's like literally like her head is like in the sink like her hair dangling onto some like defrosting chicken or something

17:00Ronnie Karam: my sister reminds me a lot of me mostly because when i go to her house it's like this oh my god put down the spatula oh my god put down the iron ah kids everywhere poking poking poking my eyes poking my ears kids everywhere just screaming yeah so ashley says uh that she's an influencer

17:17Ben Mandelker: and posting on instagram posting on instagram in my world is kind of a trade because it's like a transaction it's almost like money in itself so um ashley that's her way of saying i don't pay

17:30Ronnie Karam: for things yeah i will not be saying yes i'm here getting a free haircut but it's worth way more to me like it's worth way more money that i'm posting it than i ever would have paid for this haircut so this lady better be thankful but she's saying it a really nice way and she's like yeah and i have this like dealio with royal caribbean so i'm going on a cruise i'm so excited i've got

17:57Ben Mandelker: a advertisement for the new ship wow just selling her soul for a cruise line that's crazy um so kelsey is like we're in virgin we're still waiting on that we're still waiting on our virgin cruise what the hell i know well we'll we'll be there in a moment we'll be there in a moment yeah um so ashley is like um she's like like yeah so i get to do an advertisement for the new ship which actually i think they did this i think this this new ship was this enormous ginormous new ship that they launched and like all these influencers went on and it was like a whole big thing and i was like a little jealous and then i also saw other um other videos of people in the in the rooms for these like enormous like uh royal caribbean and carnival cruise lines where it's like i just saw one this weekend where it was a family of five and they were put in a tiny tiny tiny room and it was like it was like a queen-size bed for two people and then one bed folds out from the wall and another one folds out from the wall above the queen-size bed and then there's another two that fold out from the wall and then there's like someone on the floor it was it was like cramming into the titanic and i was like damn i am okay with staying here on land now

19:19Ronnie Karam: yeah yeah that looks like bloody hell it's hard for single people because you know they price it for two people because like who goes on as a single person but i've gone with my family and i'm not sharing a room with them and thank god i didn't my whole sister's family of four were in one room and they did not have fun did they have the same thing with the the things like folded out from the wall and stuff yeah they had like some i didn't even see their setup but my room was i had a queen-size bed in my room just for me but it was before i lost weight and stuff and i just walking in there all you could do is walk in the suitcase was right there and then you could sleep and then the bathroom just i couldn't even fit in the shower all the way i was like too big to even like fit in the shower and it was and i had my own room so i could only imagine all of that but yeah cruises but this one was free so that makes it a lot better so ashley for ashley i mean so ashley's like i mean after this haircut i'm gonna give her a little advertisement if she's good if she's good and so kelsey now gets this in her head you know she's like oh well you know like I only got to see you when Rosie was around, you know?

20:29Ronnie Karam: So it's good to see you on your own. And she says, yeah, you know how you have that clinger friend? Yeah, well, whenever you're in a group, you're like, oh my god, who's my friend that I'm going to hang out with? That's like Rosie to me. I'm like that with Rosie. And I thought she was about to call Rosie a clinger, but she was calling herself a clinger, so it was okay.

20:49Ben Mandelker: And Kelsey's like, yeah, I just can't get to know her. I don't know if that's like her not opening up or if she doesn't like take to me. I don't know. I was like, you know, I cut her hair once and I just felt like she said she liked it, but then she didn't give me any acknowledgement. Like, and now that she like, not that she has to, but I just felt like if you loved it so much, like why didn't you post when I did a service for you? Like, it's important, like in any profession, like how big social media is, like when you're furthering your career. I'm like, did she know that you were trying to build a, like a haircutting business?

21:24Ben Mandelker: Because it's definitely coming off like a hobbyist kind of situation. Like I was under no, I had no idea that Kelsey was spare room at your boyfriend's house. Like, yeah, I had no idea that it's like that. This was actually a profession she was trying to do. I thought she was just doing it for fun because she just sits around that house all day and does nothing.

21:47Ronnie Karam: yeah now she's decided she's going to do something but she's been doing it for five seconds and my thing is if she was if she did it for free for rosie okay then rosie should definitely have posted but later rosie's like i paid this girl for a haircut so if somebody pays you they are under no obligation to put that on their social and it's a shitty thing for you to even bring up like that's horrible like if you were getting if you were giving the haircut and you're like oh my god you have such a good social following would you post this like i can do it for free if you post it or something like that yeah to take money from somebody and then bitch at them for not posting it is crazy this girl's an idiot kelsey yeah i think that's i think that's crazy so then

22:27Ben Mandelker: um uh yeah kelsey's like ashley has a lot of followers and she understands the importance of supporting one another and rosie doesn't support me but she's posted every other hair and makeup person that she's gotten hair and makeup from but not me and that's because she's threatened by me i try to see the good in people no matter what i'm like she's threatened by you she's like for what she's threatened by your ability to stay in a golden cage i don't know

22:54Ronnie Karam: i don't get kelsey you've literally done nothing okay no one is doing this on the show you're not even threatening right now and you're holding scissors i was just like i gave her a haircut

23:08Ben Mandelker: like she was going to a winter formal and she still did not thank me on her instagram

23:16Ronnie Karam: people everybody asked her the second she walked into that party if she was connected and i did that to her hair and still no posting anything so kelsey's like well whenever you need a hair girly i'm here for you you've got like millions of followers and i was like thank you so much this literally looks incredible like i could be on The Bachelor right now. You're so welcome. I'm so glad you loved it and I appreciate you coming and trusting me. Yay.

23:42Ben Mandelker: Thank you for that. Yes, I will spread the word that you remembered that my hair is parted down the middle. Let me document this hair. It's Instagram. Okay, I'm going to do one by myself and then one with you. And so they do photos. And it's like, oh my God, thank you so much. So now we go to Newport Island and the Goat Island Marina. And because by the way, one thing that I've noticed they do on every episode of the show is that they go to newport and they always act like it's the first time they've been there all season like today we are going to newport so anthony's like

24:14Ronnie Karam: they get there the gays are there newport mansion newport i went to newport when i was a kid

24:21Ben Mandelker: actually we went we had a little trip there we looked at all the mansions and it was like really it was like the best trip i ever took in my life i was like this is amazing and then when i was um an adult and i moved out here and i was a pa um i had to uh i had to like drive the director of the show uh i was working on to somewhere like in a golf cart on the studio lot and his name he was a big comedy director named andy ackerman who did like a lot of seinfeld stuff so i was making small talk with him and i was like oh so where are you from and he goes um from newport which i took as newport rhode island and not newport like newport beach california and i started going oh my god i love newport those mansions down there are so amazing i mean have you ever seen such mansions and then he probably i just sounded like i was just talking about it like suburbia be like wow have you ever like these like newport beach is like mcmansions like where shannon mador lives it's like have you ever seen a mansion like that before those are unbelievable like star struck by making

25:27Ronnie Karam: he was like uh they do have some big mansions in newport beach but i know but not the kind

25:32Ben Mandelker: that you're gonna be like go there for like can you imagine i was just like this wide-eyed uh wide-eyed young man who'd never seen a large house before

25:45Ronnie Karam: and i was never asked to drive a golf cart again it was so weird

25:48Ben Mandelker: you know what i said and the akerman never requested me to drive him to the soundstage ever again after that.

25:56Ronnie Karam: So here we are on the schooner and Anthony's like, whoa, you know, look at her. I told you she's going to bring it because Rosie has champagne. She's like, yes, this is what you do for the gays. The gays love me. She's like, Jack is my good friend. He's married to Anthony and he's so handsome. But I mean, Jack's handsome too. But like, I'm here for Jack's birthday, but he knows a bunch of other girls and some through his husband, some through social scenes. So they're coming too.

26:23Ben Mandelker: it's gonna be fun so you mean they're having a party yeah it's a party so he also knows other people he like so he has co-workers so they're gonna come and he also has like some friends from his childhood and so he also knows these people they're gonna come it's like yes he invited

26:39Ronnie Karam: guests to his birthday i we understand so rosie's kind of a victim but she she's the one who starts the shit for herself i don't feel bad for rosie she's like why is everybody mad at me because are constantly stirring shit with every single person in here why do you think they're mad at you i'm so afraid of the girls everybody's just so mean yeah well she's a little snot that's for

27:00Ben Mandelker: sure but i'm enjoying her um so uh then uh the people are arriving at the party dolores is there she's like oh you know what the last time i did this i was dating frank catania at the time and his sister went to rhode island university and joelle's like oh you mean university of rhode island yeah that's where i went she's like oh you did thanks for interrupting my story by the way i'm the veteran here i call it she's older than you she's older than you trust me she's like

27:27Ronnie Karam: everyone's from new jersey my sorority everyone like everyone's from there so they're like well what's the worst thing you did hey by the way i just love that that's delores's story she's like last time i did this i was dating frank catania his sister went to school and that's it well what happened we went on a boat what do you what do you want that's the story

27:53Ben Mandelker: is there any sort of like follow-up with Andy Ackerman maybe it just sounds like it was gonna be the story it's like that was it we went on the boat

28:06Ben Mandelker: so um uh Joellen sees Ashley and she's like oh you got a haircut and she's like oh my god I love it so much um which of course is like you know well look at her endorsing the haircut so rula arrives so congratulations everyone this boat's going to take off because those sales will be filled with her personality yeah rula so she's like oh god here i am at this thing and joella's

28:32Ronnie Karam: like um yeah my grandfather passed she's like we know so how do you feel about seeing joella and Rula, how do you feel about that? She's like, I mean, it's okay. It's okay. I could just try to put things to rest for now. You know, if Joellen starts with me, hopefully she's a good swimmer because no poor waters are cold.

28:57Ben Mandelker: Rula is actually extraordinarily bad at this. And it's like very funny to me.

29:01Ronnie Karam: But she does all these little movements. It's so funny. Like she'll be like, the water is cold. and then she does like this really slow like shimmy of her shoulder she's like yeah

29:13Ben Mandelker: she's being filmed at like 13 frames per second while everyone else is at 60. Truly um Rula Rula is uh it's so funny because from the trailers I thought Rula was gonna be like she's the boss bitch don't get on Rula's bad side she's she's rich she's she's our stern Lebanese cast member and she's gonna it's her way or the highway but she just comes on it's like hey everyone it's Rula I'm here I was on a call before and the call was good

29:46Ronnie Karam: and now yeah they really sell Rula yeah they really did sell Rula it's like where's Rula Rula's not here Rula's not Rula might come this time Rula's finally here Rula it's Rula it's like hi I'm Rula ding

30:05Ronnie Karam: so they talk a little bit about the event the other day and alicia's like yeah i was so mad at her like i was so mad at that girl like i went crazy on her but we're okay now it's like yeah you went house so another boat pulls up and um alicia goes is this it it's a roar it's like oh my god sleeping beauty is this the boat is this the boat is this it what were you gonna say ben Sorry. Go ahead.

30:28Ben Mandelker: When Rula said you went house, what does that mean you went house? Did she mean to say you went ham? She said house instead.

30:35Ronnie Karam: I don't know. I've never heard that, so I just skipped over it.

30:40Ben Mandelker: Like, I kind of feel like she meant to say ham, but she said house. She's like, it's a noun with an H. Uh-oh.

30:48Ronnie Karam: Alicia's mad again, everybody. Get ready to dance.

30:54Ben Mandelker: Hey, Alicia's mad. get ready to solve a medical crime she's about to go house

31:02Ronnie Karam: it's arthritis arthritis of the elbow oh my god alicia went house

31:10Ronnie Karam: so um kelsey's like did you ever wonder how christopher columbus sailed the ocean blue and now she goes every day of my life she probably does

31:22Ben Mandelker: i bet i bet christopher columbus's spouse didn't would help him out once in a while um so they get on the boat and alicia's like oh my god i feel like the little mermaid like ariel like ariel was under the sea just so you know um for a while she wasn't and also

31:42Ronnie Karam: this is the second little mermaid this week because we also got it on the valley when that girl was like, oh my god, little mermaid and our kids.

31:53Ben Mandelker: And to be fair, wasn't Ariel supposed to, wasn't, didn't she have like a wedding that was happening on the boat?

31:59Ronnie Karam: Yeah, they had something. Yeah, they had something on the boat. So then Joellen is like, so are we going to go towards the bow? Wait, is that the bow? And they're like, that's the bow. Okay, that's the bow. She says the bow.

32:11Ben Mandelker: She says the bow.

32:13Ronnie Karam: The bow. so they cheers to jack's birthday and stuff and take off and um

32:21Ben Mandelker: apparently by the way we should mention that martini mike is on board martini mike famously of real housewives of new york the gay when when the real housewives of new york really i didn't notice him yeah that's he literally he was i think concerned that no one would notice him because at one point he goes martini mike is here to serve martinis he was very like he's like oh we'll run remember me but yes that was him he was the the gay who was like clutching his pearls in the corner while drinking the martini famously on roni he was on the boat because he is a rhode island gay i think they were they had a trip to rhode island and that's they were in that little restaurant in providence famously well there you go pants yeah here he is there or was that in salem i don't

33:05Ronnie Karam: remember i don't remember it wasn't it it was multiple times so just pick a spot ramona's booped there um so liz is like oh my god i i love being a boat sit on the water i could live on a boat actually the winter we lived on the gypsy in palm beach should i should i say jerry did and i visited we find out today that how hurtful this fishing storyline was to liz

33:32Ben Mandelker: should i say just yeah we lived down on palm beach on the boat or should i say jerry did and i visit Or should I say Jerry did and I didn't visit? Should I just say I hadn't seen Jerry in five years and I found out he was in Palm Beach? Anyway, fun boats. We love boats.

33:49Ronnie Karam: So Ashley waves to something and she's like, do you know who I am? I'm the girl that waves at people when I think they're waving at me, but they're actually not waving at me. I mean, that actually just happened with Kelsey. I did it, you guys. And Rosie's like, ha ha. I mean, to be fair, like the girls can be really mean. I mean, my thing is like, look, These girls always have a problem with me, and I've just kind of accepted it for what it is. Maybe stop starting shit, Rosie. So she says that she has anxiety now because she feels like she's going to get punched in the face every time she shows up somewhere.

34:21Ronnie Karam: And she just doesn't know why. It's like she's never good enough.

34:26Ben Mandelker: So then Lou sits down and is like, oh, is this a personal conversation? Because apparently this is why I can't be on boats. Things get too personal. and they're like no no no join join we're just talking about how you know like what rosie you can say it rosie's like well i feel like no matter what i do it's always just gonna be like a thing like what what have like what have i done other than being like really super nice to people and just try to be like super friendly and talk shit about people behind their backs that's it and like just trying to be super supportive in like an undermining way so then now kelsey comes over

35:00Ronnie Karam: and they're like, oh, we're just talking about supporting each other, Kelsey. And she's like, oh, oh, yeah. Well, can I say something? Because I've seen many times, whether it's your spray tan or your food or every person that's done your makeup, Rosie, like every person that's done your hair, you always post. And I appreciated you asking me to do the haircut, but then you never posted anything. And Rosie's like, oh, my God. What the hell?

35:24Ben Mandelker: Kelsey, how about you say, hey, can you do me a favor? Could you post a picture of the haircut on your social media because I'm trying to build my business? You can always ask that. So Alicia's like, on the other end, Alicia goes, okay, guys, guys, let's play a game, okay? How about you start with the word A? And Joellen goes, and then what? B? I don't know. So what are we doing? What are we doing in here? I don't know. I don't know games. I don't know what the game is.

35:48Ronnie Karam: I don't know games. Like, what's the game? What's the game? Someone tell me a game.

35:53Ben Mandelker: The game is figuring out the game. We're going to play a game. Okay. Okay, the game is called Schooner Aleta. All right, what do you do? I don't know. I thought you knew the rules. What kind of game is this?

36:07Ronnie Karam: I don't know. What's a game? You know a game? Still a game. Just give me a number. Someone give me a number. 13. 13. Okay, now what? What? What are you going to do with the number? That was the game. I said give me a number, you give me a game. You won. You gave me a number.

36:27Ben Mandelker: so Kelsey meanwhile is like still complaining she's like you gave me zero credit online she goes well you we never took any pictures of it she goes it doesn't matter Rosie's like um I paid her to do my hair and makeup to be nice I don't need Kelsey to cut my hair she has this certificate where she's had it for like two minutes

36:45Ronnie Karam: she's like it's about showing support so then back to Alicia they're like okay Alicia's like okay play a game all right lisa give me a number okay what is this it's a cracka it's a cracka damn it all right kill fucka mary kill fucka mary okay kill fucka mary okay wait okay he has four drinks in his hand martini mike like i want to hear the answer i want to hear it she goes give it to me raw tell me tell me the answer martini mike and he's like um okay well um i feel like ashley i love her husband but i'd want to kill her um and then i'd f brian um brianna and who do i want to marry who has the most money martini mike so um so then liz is talking to

37:38Ben Mandelker: rulo she's like hey what's that vodka and was like why are you whispering what's going on fighting over there so then um rosie is like um you're trying to find reasons to have a problem with me because i didn't tag you on instagram and just like no but i would have done that for you she's like okay great if you would have asked me to i would have done it for you it's just not top

37:59Ronnie Karam: of mind sorry but you never even took a picture she's it's not my job to take a picture of the back of my fucking head kelsey just oh really well the back of your head is the reason why you got a

38:09Ben Mandelker: haircut really she's like yeah yeah i did this is so stupid i was cracking up at this fight

38:19Ronnie Karam: that kelly is so that kelsey is so involved in this like you didn't post it on instagram she paid you you ding dong so ash is like well is there anything we can do to make this up and

38:29Ben Mandelker: support people that's it so can she in hindsight tag you and then this guy jack is like um i don't want to have an awkward night like not on my birthday bitch you are a gay man this is your gift your gift is to have the real house fighting on a boat for you yes girl please so but he also

38:50Ronnie Karam: that's his birthday present he gets to go you guys not on my birthday like a real housewife real real housewife yeah so kelsey's like you support everyone rosie it just seemed calculated that you weren't supporting me she's like okay well i do support everyone and so you're saying I'm not supporting you, but you could have. You could have.

39:10Ben Mandelker: So Rosie's like, okay, I'm done with this, whatever. She's like, this bitch. I was like, it's not my job to post you on Instagram. I know you use people for everything, but you're not allowed to use me for clout, okay? I'm just so sick of people using me, a local reporter who focuses on lifestyle things on weekend slot on the Rhode Island news. To use me for clout is just unacceptable.

39:38Ronnie Karam: Trying to use me for clout just because I know Sergeant Salami? Is that lady from the first time of the show?

39:45Ben Mandelker: Did I do a profile on a new used car shop in Providence? I did. Are you going to use that for clout building? Hell no.

39:55Ronnie Karam: So it's a Bravo show. There's a boat. so of course people have to do the titanic scene it's joelle and alicia and meanwhile rosie's crying it's like my makeup looks so pretty today and now she says when your makeup looks the best that's usually when you cry the most trust me um so now we go over to jerry and liz arriving at the

40:19Ben Mandelker: greenwich cove marina we go from one marina to another so now we're in a totally different boat scene and um they are they get onto the gypsy and liz like it almost doesn't feel real does it i actually didn't know this boat even existed because i just know you were gone the boat was gone i was like does this thing even exist anymore but it's here it's real he's like yeah it's the last trip babe yeah it's like the last time walking down this dock you know well technically you can still walk down the dock you just don't get on anything at the end of it oh captain taylor it's

40:55Ronnie Karam: the end of an era. I think Jerry's deciding to sell the gypsy because he's had a laugh. He's had his fill of sport fishing. We've got so many memories on the gypsy. One time Jerry and Michael Jordan fished against each other in a tournament and Jerry won. I mean, I wasn't there to prove it, but I was pissed I was there. But Michael Jordan is actually like, oh, my absolute God.

41:22Ben Mandelker: Oh my God. One time Jerry told me he got into a tournament with the ghost of Ronald Reagan and Angela Lansbury. And he actually came in first. And he said Angela Lansbury was so mad that she pushed the ghost of Ronald Reagan off the side of the boat. I was like, oh, my God, Jerry, that's crazy. I mean, I wasn't there. I didn't see it, so I can't verify it. But he said it happened, so it's got to be true.

41:45Ronnie Karam: You know, Jerry, for a guy who has had zero fishing background whatsoever, they're becoming one of the best in the world. I'm proud of you, Jerry. I'm proud of you. No, I'm not proud of you for leaving me alone all of those times just so you could go fishing and have your stories about Liberace catching a bass in his piano, but, you know.

42:11Ben Mandelker: You know, we have 14 years together, and we were always by each other's side, you know, so when you developed this passion, I was a little confused. I don't understand why being next to me for 14 years would make you suddenly want to disappear from this household. I don't know what happened.

42:28Ronnie Karam: And she's crying. I love that. This fishing storyline is hilarious. Like the guy just happened said, bye, I'm going to go be a professional fisher. I'm going to be gone three weeks out of the month. And he's like, I know, babe. It wasn't easy. I'm sorry I left. Well, there were times when I meant to resent the hell out of Jerry, and I just wanted to cut his head off. When weeks went into weeks, say goodbye to the gypsy, I'm here for it. Now you can't leave. You just can't leave me now, Jerry. How are you going to get somewhere when you don't got a boat? There's airplanes, babe. Oh, goddammit. I gotta be mad at you.

43:07Ronnie Karam: By the way, I bought an airplane.

43:09Ben Mandelker: No, it's a whole new chapter, but it's going to be a great one. I'm excited for the baby. I'm so excited to give up my favorite thing in the world so I can stay home and help my daughter with the baby she's about to have. Wow. So excited.

43:26Ronnie Karam: Yeah, you got rid of the boat so you could spend more time with your family. I get that. I get that. That is what politicians say when they have been caught in some kind of scandal or something. What is going on with this fishing boat? What is happening here? It's such a big deal. Yeah, there's got to be something going on. I can't wait to find out what it is.

43:46Ben Mandelker: Commercials.

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45:20Ben Mandelker: In the meantime, we now go to this restaurant called Sombra, and Joellen's at the bar, and Rula comes in. And Rula's like, oh, I hope you weren't waiting long. Can I have an espresso marty? espresso martini. Make it quick. I don't want to have to go house on you.

45:38Ronnie Karam: Okay, look, I put in a guacamole too, so thank you for meeting me. Okay, because when we were on the boat, we didn't really get a chance to talk to you. Like, I just kept having to come up with numbers for Alicia for some reason. But, you know, my grandpa died, so I was dealing with that. And I don't know. I figured we should just come talk to each other without the husbands. And Rula's like, Joellen's been sort of like a high school cheerleader with a megaphone. who wants to hear ruler's business come one come all but i'm here because like a a god and a crossing i'm about to put a stop to it

46:15Ben Mandelker: so the waitress is like okay here's your espresso martini oh thank you for the espresso martini oh good i'm glad you got your espresso martini look ruler well i don't have anything against you i don't okay i'm happy i got a hot husband with giant nipples that turned all the internet on fire last week okay it's more about him i don't like what he's doing to you she's like well this is it's not still going on i can tell you that right now no it's still going on and he's still he's still doing these things and i know your heart wants to believe what it wants to believe she's like no no no no no look i want to be wide-eyed and bushy-tailed right now i don't i'm like that's not the definition of wide-eyed because rule is saying that she wants to have i can't have eyes open to everything but wide-eyed and bushy tail is not does not that's not what you mean

47:02Ronnie Karam: i'm not trying to go one way or the other i feel like i know my husband very well but at the same time it's good to hear things so if i want to have my ears to the to the train tracks so if someone's trying to pull the wool over my ears i would like to hear them see me to understand

47:25Ben Mandelker: well I think he is still doing this stuff I mean I have text messages look this is a conversation that I have of her and Joellen says she knows the mistress because their children go to the same daycare together and then they ran into each other and this mistress started showing Joellen the conversations with Brian and she's telling Joellen that they're in love and he wants and he's been telling her that he wants Rula to leave him. So Rula's like, well, you know what? I need to see more proof, you know, because she has fake text applications. I already know that from other people. Brian told me that she actually invented artificial intelligence and that she's very good at it.

48:07Ben Mandelker: And this is all fake.

48:11Ronnie Karam: Yeah, the texts are fake. This attempted homewrecker. She's known for using AI. she's known for fabricating certain information brian said so himself yeah of course brian's and brian also told her that she was crazy she's like it's literally beyond fatal attraction i mean her hair is crispier than that permed lady in the movies that's it i think the movie you're trying to think of is dumb and dumber yeah fatal attraction glenn close's role is played by jim carrey but um this lady i will say this lady does seem psycho because who is gonna go cheat with somebody and then tell the friends like oh yeah he really loves me he's gonna leave that woman look at all our text messages like that's crazy she does seem like a fucking nutcase but that doesn't make your husband less of a psychopath cheater which he obviously is and you're such an idiot to believe this woman is showing you text like come on now yeah and like you're like when she says i mean

49:14Ben Mandelker: brian told me himself that she's known for using ai which is such a funny thing to say that is such a that is to me that like is someone who has not like someone who's just like read about ai and like time magazine but has no idea about it it's like she's known for using it She's known for it. Like, who goes around being like, oh, did you see Mary Lewis? Yeah. She's known for using AI. Very nice woman, but she's known for using AI. Be careful.

49:45Ronnie Karam: Well, she showed me every message. I said, can I see your phone? She said, yeah. She goes, and you don't think she's psycho? She goes, well, I mean, I do think she's crazy. I mean, I read every message, and she let me. And I was like, whoa, crazy. She goes, yeah, but how do you even know that that's his number? She's like, I don't. But who's going to go through all of this for your husband, Rula? Like, think about that. Who wants that man, who wants melted Hellboy so badly that they're going to fake another number to pretend it's him and make up a whole relationship in their head? Come on now.

50:17Ronnie Karam: The guy's not, I was going to say John Travolta, but I don't know that anybody would be lying to get John Travolta either. Yeah. I don't know who. But come on. It's your husband.

50:28Ben Mandelker: ruler goes i don't have time for this shit but let me make one thing clear right now she's a lying sack joellen i have a gps tracker i've been known for using gps and he has never even slept outside of the house for one night like did he leave his phone on the nightstand ruler yeah exactly exactly and joellen's like no no it's every morning he goes

50:54Ronnie Karam: to her house in the morning and brings her coffee every single morning. She goes, but no, no, he's at the gym every morning. Then she goes, does Brian look like he goes to the gym? Come on.

51:07Ben Mandelker: Where is the gym? It's at the end of a cul-de-sac.

51:13Ben Mandelker: He told me they just opened up a bally's there. He's known for going to the gym. It's a home gym. It's a home gym.

51:19Ronnie Karam: This shit was so funny when she said, does Brian look like he goes to the gym she goes yes he does and i would hope that as a female we would look out for each other and feel for one another she goes that's what i'm trying to do my god as a female i hope

51:34Ben Mandelker: we look out for each other she's a lying piece of shit fucking she's rula is the entire time more angry at the women than she has been at the men and she's like as a woman i want to look out for each other so joellen goes doesn't don't make me look like an asshole or a liar i mean she doesn't believe the truth and my mother was like that she didn't listen to the truth and when somebody calls me out on something whether it be that i'm lying or that i need help or whatever my mother did to me i need to prove that you're wrong so be quiet mother i'm like how did this turn into mommy issues now now you're mad at your mom joan's like well it is still happening with no

52:08Ronnie Karam: regard to you and you know that yes that's listen i'm not trying to be an asshole i don't want any more animosity she goes i appreciate you taking the time to want me to meet to want to meet with me one one and one espresso martini but i told you shoot straight you know please be honest i would want to be honest with you okay and if she has real meaningful truth that's not created by ai or is not fabricated it's not a lie then fine just bring it to me but joe ellen's being duped by a homewrecker and she might be taking the bait and she shouldn't be oh my god arula you are helpless you you are helpless so do you think she believes she does really believe all this and she just doesn't want to be embarrassed so she's trying to stand up for her husband or do you really believe that she believes that her husband is just being framed uh i think she's in denial

53:02Ben Mandelker: and i think she's also concerned about this being on tv when you know she's got kids so i think she's just in protective mode and i also don't think that she's very bright yeah because the worried

53:13Ronnie Karam: about your kids i mean she knew all this was going on when she signed up to be on the like there are five episodes in or something you know so yeah yeah so real is like look i'm trying to

53:24Ben Mandelker: get past it with you i just think that like i've been dealing with a lot now hold on one second i just need to touch your shoulders okay you're real i wasn't sure if you were just a holographic projection she's used she's you know this woman is known for using holographic projections with

53:36Ronnie Karam: ai it's very scary so now we go to rosie she's facetiming ashley and ashley's on her cruise and she's coming back for whatever. She's like, well, after the boat ride, Alicia did call and she invited me to polo. So then we see Rosie on the phone with Alicia and Alicia's like, are you going to come to polo? Because like you haven't been to Angelo's yet, right? Like Billy's restaurant, you should come. It's my idea that they wear blue shirts instead of red. It's made a huge difference.

54:06Ben Mandelker: Yeah. So then Rosie says like, you know, I want to be part of this. So I'm walking back into the lion's den. Ashley can't go. Rich has to go late. But you know what? This is time for you to grow up as a person and show up and have a good time. This is not a lion's den. No one cares anymore. The fight that happened happened last week. Everyone's moved on to something else.

54:29Ronnie Karam: So we go to Angelo's and Alicia and Bill are there. And Alicia's like, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy. He goes, what? Oh, I didn't know where you went. I'm right here.

54:44Ben Mandelker: So they're setting up food because this is like the pre-party before Polo. And Alicia's like, okay, let's wander around. No one's going to sit, you know. No one likes to sit. Angelo's one of Billy's family-owned restaurants that he owns with his mom and his sister. And Billy being Greek, his father's name is Angelo. But if you just say in Greek, I think it's like Avalangeli or Avalangelist or whatever. Avalangelist or Avaladayani. I think his name is Yanni. He makes CDs, you know, very good music.

55:11Ronnie Karam: So they're getting food. And she's like, some calzone, some calamari, a hummus plate. And he goes, you want an Italian calzone? She's like, yeah, an Italian calzone. Look, what the hell other kind of calzone? Got Greek calzone. We got Netherlands calzone. Come on, just give me an Italian calzone. What are you kidding me? Polo is a huge thing in Rhode Island. It happens every year here. And it's a beautiful event. Everyone gets so excited. They get dressed up. You have champagne. You drink a little snack. And then the horses are beautiful. I love a horse. I love a horse. And we see pictures of Rhode Island polo.

55:47Ronnie Karam: And it's like people in tank tops. Hats with beers in them and straws coming down from the beer to their mouth.

55:56Ben Mandelker: I never knew a disease could be so fancy. Like that's polio. Polio.

56:01Ronnie Karam: Oh, yeah? Why does it make you walk funny?

56:07Ben Mandelker: so rosie bill is like uh he's like hey where's big rich where's big rich rosie and was like he's coming later whatever so people are showing up it's hellos hellos hellos hellos hellos hellos hellos and kelsey is like whenever i'm at a function or an event that has to do with my friends i feel like my boyfriend's never interested but bill's very eager to show our relationship in public so like claim me as his you know things like that because uh that's bill is her like her side her side man you know the young guy her side he's like willing to come up on camera so she's happy to bring him here to this polo event uh so joellen and gary or jerry come

56:47Ronnie Karam: and uh no gary sorry joellen and gary come liz comes without jerry because jerry's golfing listen he may not have a fishing boat anymore but he's still and now he's gonna go off three weeks out of the month.

57:00Ben Mandelker: This is what it is. So now Rosie does something that is it's really crossing the line if you ask me. The background is that the bartender has a device that makes a bubble that you can put on top of a drink. Have you ever gotten a cocktail that has like a bubble dome on it? So he has a device that does it and he gives it to Rosie to do and Rosie starts playing with it and she starts putting bubbles on drinks. Need I say more? Guys, this is really could not be anything more obnoxious than you could ever imagine and kelsey is not going to stand for it she's like oh i'm looking at rosie and i can't even hide my disdain and they just show rosie just blowing these bubbles and smiling like oh my god oh my god she's like oh bubbles on drinks

57:44Ronnie Karam: can she get any worse oh so rula and brian come and uh joellen's like oh my god wow hi guys and It was like, Brian's prior indiscretions are done and over with. We're obviously a united front. Otherwise, we wouldn't be here together. Is that a, why is there a bubble on my nose? It's a gun. It's a bubble gun. God damn it.

58:09Ben Mandelker: Guys, I think we need to excommunicate Rosie from our group. The bubbles are just a step too far.

58:14Ronnie Karam: All right, everybody. I have a public announcement, a public announcement. The bus is going to be here any minute. So if anyone has to go to the bathroom, we should do it now because it's like an hour ride. It's an hour ride.

58:23Ben Mandelker: If you need a cracker, I got you. But if you want to get your own crackers, they're in the bowl over there.

58:28Ronnie Karam: I thought it was cute that Alicia and the husband at the same time go, it's going to be an hour ride. It's going to be an hour ride. They're just those people that announce everything. Are we going to the play park? It's a 30-minute drive. It's a 30-minute drive.

58:41Ben Mandelker: 30-minute drive. That's basically my parents. So then, so they're about to get on the bus, but then all of a sudden, Ryan gets a call. He's like, oh, hey, Dad. Oh, no. what happened oh boy all right you gonna call an ambulance or okay thank you i guess i will see you at the hospital it's like well my father's taking my mom the rescue is coming to them like the rescue you're a doctor the rescue the rescue paramedics emts do you even know the terminology

59:15Ronnie Karam: like at least make your excuse sound right they got used poodles in the back um so ruler's like what happened well her hands are cold she says she doesn't feel well she could die at any minute i'm going to the hospital and alicia's like everybody better go you know what it's a gorgeous bus i want to take a picture of this bus and i mean everyone's all excited about the bus and ruler's like i don't want to interrupt but his mom is heading to the hospital so we have to go Like, oh, my God. Is everything okay? Well, we're just going to see what's going on with her. And then, you know, we'll meet you at the event.

59:48Ronnie Karam: We'll meet you.

59:51Ben Mandelker: So, by the way, his mom feels unwell but doesn't call her doctor son first to see if any other further actions need to be taken. He's a foot doctor. He still went to medical school. you know you still should have some idea of like general medicine i believe that's my that's my

1:00:13Ronnie Karam: impression i was like i'm gonna have a stroke i'm gonna call the foot doctor i was still because

1:00:18Ben Mandelker: here's the thing once you be once you go through medical school he has probably answered so many calls from friends and family members that like he i just have to imagine that like oh my god i'm not really feeling well my hands are cold what should i do i think he will have a general idea of like you should go to the hospital or not go to the hospital i just think like if this is just

1:00:42Ronnie Karam: such a lazy excuse on his part it really is i mean so obviously he's gonna go bang the the hooker so it's crazy that she's going with him i was like how's that gonna work so um bill is saying oh yeah i was looking forward to watching joellen will rule all day i guess that's over with and And she's like, oh, yeah, I feel bad. I even said prayers to your mom because I'm a good person today. I'm a good person. So they open champagne. They're on the bus. They're all partying and having fun. And they're like, where's Ashley? Oh, she's on a cruise. She's having fun. And then Alicia just goes, I love a horse.

1:01:16Ronnie Karam: What? I do.

1:01:18Ben Mandelker: I love a horse. Like just in general? Yeah, in general. I would never run one over. So then Liz goes, hey, guys, should I call Rula and make sure she's okay? and they're like yeah yeah yeah so she facetimes ruler she's like hey liz it's like well we wanted to show you the bus okay this the bus is what you missed she's like oh god i'm jelly like a big jaw of jelly i'm gonna see if i can make it but i just have to see if she's all right so are you with brian now he's at the hospital no he's not here he's with his mom and dad like so then why

1:01:51Ronnie Karam: did ruler go exactly he's such a like dropped off at home yes this guy is such a liar So Joellen tells her, Rula, his mom's health is more important than anything. Don't stress the polo match. And so they hang up with her and like, oh, my God, what are you being so nice for, Joellen? What's going on with you? And then Joellen goes, oh,

1:02:14Ronnie Karam: never mind. My phone just stings, but I don't want to talk about it.

1:02:21Ben Mandelker: Well, she's okay. Well, one of my good friends is actually friends with the mistress. and like she texted me and she said that he's going to see the mistress right now. And Liz is like, yeah, I think that's a bit far-fetched. I mean, if that was true, I mean, like Brian lied and said that he had to rush the hospital and see his mom and then drop Rula off in a fit of haste and drove off to the mistress. I don't know. I'm not believing it. You know, like you can fool me once, but you can't fool me all those times. Okay. Like I'm pretty sure these men's aren't doing that. But anyway, I just want to say that my husband will be going off for six weeks to climb Mount Everest.

1:03:01Ben Mandelker: Bye.

1:03:03Ronnie Karam: I don't believe men are that smart. By the way, my husband couldn't make it. He's golfing today. Thank girl. So then they're at the polo match now. And Jerry shows up. And he's like, Jerry, you look so spiffy. What's that smell? He's like, nothing. Nothing, honey. So the guys are talking together. And they're like, whoa, these women are crazy. right well these women are a lot of work oh god women am i right yeah and uh they're like popping

1:03:34Ben Mandelker: up champagne and everything and having fun and like it's just like polo kind of things you know and there's like a coin toss and uh you know they're excited to do the divots etc so it's all

1:03:46Ronnie Karam: like yeah that's just like things going on at polo so rosie is talking to joellen and joellen's asking about the house and she goes yeah we're adding 5 000 square feet to the house and joellen says 5 000 she's like yeah it's going to be 8 000 square feet when we finish it um because we have like 1500 upstairs and we're turning the downstairs what's currently the garage that's going to be the gym and a sauna and alicia is here uh kelsey's hearing all this and getting pissed okay so then rula and brian show up and they're like oh my god they made it and they're like how's she doing and he's like uh she's stable you know so we'll see what happens i tried to give her a high five but she couldn't do it so i don't know i don't know uh mistress was a bad case of cold hand itis

1:04:33Ben Mandelker: so um liz so liz is like well i think uh this is rosie's glass by the way ruler so uh you can enjoy um and then we cut to just like alicia just like rich rich you look like a stallion You look like a Harvard stallion. He's like, thanks. Thanks so much.

1:04:54Ronnie Karam: So Joellen is talking to Kelsey about the house that Rosie's building. And she's like, yeah, she said she's building 5 ,000 square feet. I mean, on top of eight. Like, that's crazy. And Kelsey's like, it's not five. Rosie's always exaggerating or putting on. So, like, she's just like to me. She wants to show up or, like, put on this persona that she's, like, building a very big house, which at the end of the day get nothing for nothing. And she's not. She's not doing that.

1:05:18Ben Mandelker: I'm like, ma 'am, you are cosplaying like you're in a serious relationship and that you're actually wealthy. So, but we do see actually like, I think they do show like a shot of like the house under construction. And it's like, yeah, I'm not sure if that is going to be 5 ,000 feet either, but we'll see. Could be tall. So now it's time to put in the divots, to step on the divots and everything. So they go onto the field and they're pressing the divots. And it's like really fun. It's very pretty woman-esque, et cetera. and uh there uh kelsey is uh trying on rula's ring because she's like oh my god this ring is beautiful they're looking at the ring and that's when they start to notice like wait a second like where's your wedding ring brian it's like yeah actually mine mine's in the car you know

1:06:06Ronnie Karam: i put gel in my son's hair i took it out i put it in my pocket and i forgot to put it back on so whoops they're like um he's not wearing his ring so they all start like oh my god he's not wearing his ring and Rubele's like are you serious Brian

1:06:21Ben Mandelker: does everyone say like you put gel were you like hey son come to the car where I'm gonna put the gel in your hair and I'm gonna put it in my pocket he said he's gonna put the ring in his pocket but the ring is in the car so he either applied the gel from in the car where he took the ring off the ring in his pocket when he was on his way to get a bj from the mistress like come on like nothing nothing adds up with this terrible excuse

1:06:51Ronnie Karam: it's just such a fucking liar so they're all talking about it now and we see a flashback brian was wearing his ring at angelo's so dun dun dun and joella says yeah his ring must be on the nightstand at his mistress's house yeah so but also it's funny that he has to take his ring

1:07:12Ben Mandelker: off to see the mistress who knows she's like the mistress is where yeah unless he's been telling the mistress that they have broken up maybe i'm not sure um so rule is like you know i mean you know what it is because he has all the surgeries that work so he honestly wears a rubber one so Like it's very easy to forget. He's got – there's a lot of – so before you go into surgery at work, you've got to put gel into everyone's hair. So you've got to make sure all the nurses are gelled up. And you never want to have your other doctors not have good hair. So he's got to put a lot of gel in people's hair.

1:07:43Ben Mandelker: It makes sense if you know a surgeon.

1:07:45Ronnie Karam: Yeah. So she's telling Brian, you know, they were asking about rings and which guy wear rings and which guys don't. He's like, well, like during the day, I don't work at home. Like it hurts at work. You know what I mean? Ow. Ow. I just feel it. It's like something – it's like a weight. It's dragging me down. I'd like feel it's on my finger but I feel it's strangling me you know what I mean

1:08:04Ben Mandelker: he's like on the side for like almost the rest of the episode just doing a stream of different excuses and it's like it just the rest of the episode he's like well you know you put him on it's like it hurts a little bit you know when you're eating the pizza and you have a ring on you know you don't want to get pizza and under the ring so you got to take it off because if you get the pizza under the ring it's not good and then you know sometimes if you walk down the sidewalk if you have your ring on your finger like you can't walk right you don't want to fall on a crack because you know step on a crack break your mother's back my mom she's got cold hands so Like, you know, if my mom has cold hands, I got to have cold hands too out of solidarity.

1:08:32Ben Mandelker: Got to take the ring off for that. What are you saying over there in the corner? Like the entire time he's just muttering all he's like, just he's just basically throwing a whole bunch of excuses at the wall to see if any of them sick.

1:08:42Ronnie Karam: He's like rain manning out like bad excuses. You know, I was like, yeah.

1:08:50Ronnie Karam: Guys, Joellen just saw something on her phone. You're scaring me, Joellen. She's like, oh, my God. Yeah, you should. Because the mistress just posted in his red interior car two hours ago. So this guy left, fucked his mistress, and took a picture in the car with the mistress. What the fuck?

1:09:09Ben Mandelker: She took a picture in the car.

1:09:11Ronnie Karam: But he didn't notice that she's, like, taking a picture. Like, what the hell? And then she posted on Instagram. Oh, my God. This lady's cuckoo. Yeah.

1:09:22Ben Mandelker: Meanwhile, Rilla's in the corner being like, this dress is from Bloomingdale's, everyone.

1:09:26Ronnie Karam: So they're like, it's beautiful. It's beautiful, Rula. So Joellen is showing this phone and she's like, oh, my God, this is him and her. If I had to put a timeline on Brian's bullshit, here it is. I would start at 1.15. We walk to the bus. Brian and Rula come on board. His mother's ill. 1.58. Rula tells us I'm no longer with Brian. He's with his mother. 1.59. I receive a text message. Later, Brian's mistress posts pictures of them together. 5.15. Brian comes around to the polo match. Do you need any more timeline?

1:09:57Ben Mandelker: it's pretty damning and hilarious. So,

1:10:01Ronnie Karam: so crazy.

1:10:03Ben Mandelker: Yeah. And like Rula's like, you know, she's, she has no idea. She's still in such denial. Meanwhile, Gary and Brian are having this weird conversation of like, it's like, it's like male small talk. They want to act like they did not just have a very intense clash at the studio 54 party. So Gary's like, yeah, my, my, my father was a state championship wrestler. I was a state champ wrestler. um my son will maybe be a state champ wrestler i got a black and deca iron i like that we have

1:10:31Ronnie Karam: a toaster oven brian goes who's your father one of my friends met your father he said he was a nice guy okay so now you know who his father is you're so great you can't stop lying you cannot

1:10:45Ben Mandelker: stop lying so they're just making stupid empty patter bro patter and then gary sees joe and It's like, hey, what's the matter? You okay? She's like, I'm good. It's like, something going on. Ryan's like, hey, what's something going on? Oh, is it about my ring? It's because I went to a petting zoo, and they said if you pet the guinea pigs with a ring on, you could kill them. So I took them off. Is that what you want to know? It's like, yeah.

1:11:08Ronnie Karam: Yeah, it was a petting zoo. I went over here. A camel ate my ring off. I'm just waiting for the camel to poop. I'm going to get it out of there. I'm sure it'll happen any second. I'm just going to sit here and wait for the camel. Okay. You know, tell my wife I'm over in the camel section. I'll be in the camel section. If she's looking for me, tell her I went looking for a camel somewhere. Okay?

1:11:28Ben Mandelker: So Joellen is like, go grab Rula and tell Rula to come over right now. We're going to confront Brian. And Brian's like, by the way, I do have that individual, we'll say, texting me today, which I don't know. Is he talking about the mistress or is he talking about the person at the company that I tried to get Joellen fired from?

1:11:48Ronnie Karam: Oh, yeah. so gary's like well normally i would have cut myself clear everything obviously it's like yeah me too but like look i made a mistake i got stuck into it i got stuck into it you know you know how it happens you trip your zipper's undone your your penis slips in something you try and pull away but it's stuck you're like it's stuck in there you know it's like look she just she just texted me

1:12:09Ben Mandelker: right now this individual look she just said uh that was a great blow job earlier in your car i mean i don't even know what she's talking about she and then she said oh i have your ring what i I don't even know what she's saying. Huh?

1:12:19Ronnie Karam: I got my ring. It's right here. There's not a ring there. Yeah, there is. There's not. Your father has it. I know your father. I know someone who knows your father. He loves him. Loves rings. Your father loves rings.

1:12:31Ben Mandelker: You're just showing me a pizza chip. So then Liz is like, all right, let's go for a walk. I'm going to grab Brian too. So Brian's like, you know what? You know what it is? You feel bad hurting anybody. And then you wind up getting stuck in the middle of stuff. You don't want to get stuck in it. So you know how that goes. Like, you're not stuck in the middle. You are a perpetrator.

1:12:50Ronnie Karam: You fucked your mistress 30 minutes ago. So Liz and Rula walk up to Brian and Gary. And Liz is like, hey, scroll on Instagram. Let's go for a walk. Let's go for a walk. Well, you know, like I think that, you know, like this is between us. And we're going to leave now because I'm not going to do this on camera. Okay. So I'm going to leave. So come on. Let's go, Rula. She's like, all right.

1:13:09Ben Mandelker: By the way, when someone like Liz says, let's go for a walk, I'm shitting a brick. I'm like, am I surviving this walk? where will my body be found exactly

1:13:20Ronnie Karam: let's go for a walk on Gary's boat alright so Liz is like Rula I need to talk to you privately well he's leaving she goes yeah with me Rula this is on her story right now Rula look at this and so she shows her oh my god she put that on there right now she's dirty did you see what she put on her Instagram story honey oh you mean the woman who was known for ai yeah so then kelsey meanwhile she just happened to know that your husband was going to be gone the the the woman that happened to know that she could lie about fucking your husband in his car at the exact same time she knew for a fact that he i mean come on ruler yeah come on ruler so like across the way alicia is like oh my god what happened

1:14:10Ben Mandelker: What happened over there? What's going on? And Kelsey goes, oh, Brian's mistress is posting in real time. And Liz and Joellen are trying to get Brian to actually take accountability of it because he keeps running away. And Elise just hands her a tiny wheat thin. She goes, take it. We all need it. Take a cracker. And it's shot from behind. So we don't even see their faces. We just see this cracker just like appear. She's like, take it. Take the cracker.

1:14:31Ronnie Karam: We all need it. She goes, what? A wheat thin? She goes, yeah, you're welcome. I know. I know. So back to Rola. She's like, did you see what she put on her Instagram story? He's like, this is like cool stuff. Like, it's not your business to be perpetuating this, Joellen. And she goes, Brian, stop fucking saying I'm perpetuating. It's on Instagram. I'm looking through my Instagram. This is not perpetuating.

1:14:53Ben Mandelker: So Rula and Joellen walk off and Liz is like, what the fuck is going on? Brian's like, I don't know. I don't know. I don't understand what's going on. You know, like, I think we all know Instagram is a hot butt of artificial intelligence. and like I actually am not even sure that it's a real person. That might be a bot from Russia. So, you know, it's weird. It's crazy that they're talking to me.

1:15:12Ronnie Karam: So Joellen is telling Rula, I'm not trying to hurt you. You're a mom. You're a wife like me. I'm not trying to hurt you, but it's not done. It's not done. He can tell you whatever he wants, but it's going on. And if you want proof, I'll figure it out. So Brian just walks away. She's saying this all like right in front of Brian, which I really like. This is crazy.

1:15:29Ben Mandelker: This scene was legitimately crazy.

1:15:31Ronnie Karam: This is crazy. And Liz is like, Brian, running away. It's not helping you, Bri. It's not helping you.

1:15:38Ben Mandelker: I'm not running away. I just don't need to be dealing with this. It's really nobody's business what happens. And I love my wife, whatever her name is. And I took her to Macy's. This was from Bloomingdale's. Okay, I took the other one to Macy's. I mean, I took no one to Macy's. I'm trying to make it work with her. That's it.

1:15:55Ronnie Karam: I know where he's coming, where he's going. Look, I track. I literally track. He's figured a way around your tracking. Okay?

1:16:04Ben Mandelker: If you believe enough that this lady has mastered AI, then you should believe enough that your husband has figured out a way to avoid your geo-tracking.

1:16:13Ronnie Karam: Yes, he's going and parking in the hospital parking lot and getting a blowjob from his girlfriend. Come on. So Joellen says again, it's on Instagram. So come on, Brian. Are you still talking to her? And he's like, well, she called me yesterday to tell me something. She goes, oh, really? And did you tell your wife you spoke to her? And he's like, yeah, I told her. She called. You know, I called her right afterwards. It's like I haven't spoken with her for a long time. Joellen says, for a long time? Yeah, for a long time. I mean, for a long time.

1:16:45Ben Mandelker: Why are you taking calls from your mistress if you say it's over and your wife knows about it? Why are you taking calls and why do you get a medal for telling your wife, yeah, my mistress just called? Just letting her know she called and I spoke to her for a second. What are you talking to her for? There should be no contact.

1:17:00Ronnie Karam: So Joellen's like, I'm done. So she walks away with Gary and Liz is like, you know, there's moments where you have to like at some point admit defeat, you know, fucking move forward. It's like, yeah, yeah, you know, exactly. Moving forward. Well, that wasn't the admitting defeat part, Brian. Okay, you got to do that part. I didn't deny anything. You know, I'm moving forward. That's it.

1:17:22Ben Mandelker: I mean, you know, even back in April, I sent her a text saying, obviously, I haven't left my family. I'm not going to leave now. yeah but she's like but i want you to make clear that you're not about that like she's the mother of your children she's like yeah no and you know if i haven't left i'm obviously not gonna leave like no matter what i said before you know she's like yeah i believe him and what the hell i mean

1:17:44Ronnie Karam: look you fucked her today sir that's no you're changing the conversation to whether you're gonna leave your wife or not no one's asking you that they're saying did you fuck this lady today Is this still going on? And you're being like, well, I'm not going to leave my wife. So why is it your business?

1:18:00Ben Mandelker: Of course, Alicia is like, I believe him because she's also being strung along by a man. She's like, yeah, she's going to forgive him. And maybe she's got my superpower. I'm okay with forgiving people unless they're like, you know, walking in front of my car. But maybe that's why we like each other. Because I just thought of that right now. Oh, my God. I just realized that's why we're friends. Wow. It's crazy.

1:18:22Ronnie Karam: Yeah. You know what? i'm happy because like i do like you okay and i love you brian you know and i know that lizzie was only speaking from the heart and joella's giving you what she sees which you can't be mad but i was like but the thing is joellen's friends with the wrong people your wife to the wrong people you're talking about your husband took calls from his mistress just yesterday your husband is friends with the wrong people too so he's just like yeah you can stick up for yourself

1:18:48Ben Mandelker: in front of other people. It's like, okay, you gotta stop. Whatever Jo... Okay, whatever Joellen is good, bad, and therefore evil, good, you can't blame Joellen for this, okay? Will's like, yeah, but I do feel like the pot's being stirred because we hear all the time that she's communicating with these people. Would I do that to you? Would I do that to you, Alicia? No, enough is enough. Like, your husband just admitted to speaking to the mistress yesterday, and you're saying Joellen's talking to the wrong people?

1:19:14Ronnie Karam: I'm not by any means letting Joellen off the hook for kind of dragging, you know, dragging all the digging a little into Ruler's life. But however, some of the things she's uncovering are real. So forget Joellen, okay? Just to trust what it is. Let's face it. My husband loves fishing.

1:19:37Ben Mandelker: And so Liz is like, okay, I still want to go for a walk with both of you. And Brian's like, no, no, we're not going to do that right now. and uh rich rich goes you know there should be better mistress etiquette don't you think like

1:19:48Ronnie Karam: why would you be posting i mean that's that's true though as well it's like oh my god what kind of monster cheats with somebody and then just does this over and like post because she

1:20:00Ben Mandelker: she did this again last week you know well she's trying to force the issues that way like their marriage can crumble right yeah joellen goes yeah can i tell you why and joan says it right now he He goes, because Brian is too much of a pussy to fucking leave Rula. So she wants the mistress to do this.

1:20:20Ronnie Karam: Yeah. He wants Rula to leave the husband. So Brian's like, let's go to dinner. She's like, it's ridiculous. I mean, how long do people perpetuate this shit? Rula. Oh, my God. I can't. It was wild. Wild. The denial. The next season. Do you think Rula has a second season? probably right because this all this drama is about her sure i'm not sure but if there's another season is she gonna have like the oh my god rule is so brave because she finally walked away from brian i i really don't know i really don't know that's to watch this we'll see there's still so much of the season left denying that much when it's happening literally right in front of your face crazy all right everybody well thanks so much for being here good times we will talk to you tomorrow bye watch what crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors ain't no thing like

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