#3345 Ladies of London S4E10: Fashion Victim

0:00Hi, it's Mark Bittman from the podcast Food with Mark Bittman.

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1:36Ben Mandelker: Watch What Crap Ends

2:01Ben Mandelker: Ben Mandelker and joining me today is the handsome and friendly Ronnie Karam. Hi, Ronnie. How's it going? Hello, Benoons. What you doing today, honey? We're just wrapping up our week, just wrapping up our week. And today we're talking ladies of London, the season finale. I like, I can give a shout out to my nephew who graduated from college this morning from university. I can't believe it. Big one. Growing up. Yeah. It's big. That's crazy. That's a big one. Yeah. Yeah. who's going out into the world. Congratulations, little buddy. Little buddy. And that's all I got to say about that. And thanks to everyone who has purchased tickets for our cabaret.

2:43Ben Mandelker: It's sold out. It's sold out both nights. So thanks for coming. But it is available for streaming. So if you just follow the ticket link, there will be, even though you won't be able to buy a physical seat, you can still buy tickets if you want to watch it being streamed. uh also monday we got crappy hour at 5 30 talking about the latest on bravo there's really an endless spout of bravo stuff to talk about so join us 5 30 west coast time uh you can find us on youtube find that on youtube um and then uh also on monday we have our amazon live where we will be talking about various fun items um i think i'm going to be discussing party games.

3:27Ben Mandelker: So not like the really intense games that I love, but that's the fun stuff that you can invite friends over. So I'll have some recommendations on Monday for that. That's at 1.30 West Coast time. And then of course, join us on Patreon, patreon.com slash watch what crappens. We have a weekly bonus episode. This week's is about Top Chef and Restaurant Wars. You can watch this with crappens on demand. We have ad-free listening and we have a weekly newsletter that Ronnie writes called Read What Crappens. and he puts a lot of time and effort into that and he does a really great job. So be sure to check that out.

4:01Ben Mandelker: And you don't even have to be a Patreon member to enjoy that. So that's all the fun stuff. It's free. So today is Ladies of London, season four, episode 10, the end. It's called The Summer Showdown. Aw, so sad this show's over already. 10 episodes. I need more. It's so brilliant, so wonderful. there's something magical about a first season with a cast um it was great to witness it i am i'm really sad that it's done i thought this was a special thing that we got to have this spring and i hope for people who didn't watch it that they take some time to binge it one of these days because it's it's a tremendous thing i guess if you didn't watch it you're probably not listening but you know if for some reason you are listening and you haven't watched it go watch it it's so good tell your friends tell your neighbors okay so micah's walking down the street um she is wearing a marching band jacket thing because this joshua guy loves the marching band theme that's what he's into yes i wore it for this year's crappies that was done by joshua kane and everybody's wearing it it's every outfit he's putting it on he's he's 100 and 106 trombones or whatever the fuck that is like he is he's out there and he's ready 76 yeah um many trombones definitely playing uh she is definitely giving some music man realness but what i will say is like i think joshua kane is so talented and the tailoring on his stuff is so impeccable didn't think this is a great look for micah though i don't i just i this one was like this one didn't quite land for me for just like it looked too real styling yeah i think it looked too real i think the other versions of this we've seen him do on people have been they look like an outfit but micah really fits the part like i can imagine with her baton in my face just being like yeah overly cheery like look at me batoning in your face you just want to take that baton and smack her on the smacker with it but get away with get away get away from me so uh yeah tom lady this is our big event the art of showing up uh which is funny because only two people from the cast showed up but that's okay um well they hadn't taken the class yet so which came first chicken or the egg you do need to take the class to learn how to take the class which is so ironic just eating its own day how to take a class nobody showed up to the class about how to take a class oh i think a lot of people need it i totally would take this class by the way you know we just spend a lot of time talking about amanda francis's uh manifestation class this is the sort of class i would want like when they showed like a montage and a little bit about micah going over all these tips like if someone puts their hand over you like over their hand when they shake your hand you're saying that you own them and this stuff i love all those like like fun hacks to body language and stuff i was like i need to learn these things i need to learn how to harness my body language into being a more effective communicator because i just think it's like so cool such a i love this stuff you're like i really want people to understand when i own them yeah so i do as someone who has resting bitch face i am looking for ways to actively combat against it so um i need to take the art of showing up the art of not having hey toots you'd be prettier if you smiled more there's one for you it's free love it love it it's free for you babe good good So she's looking good.

7:36She's going to her little event that she – I shouldn't say little event. That sounds condescending. She's going to her event that she's throwing. And my dumb, stupid, handshaking event. And she's like, yeah, this has been months and countless hours in the making. I mean, oh, God, I feel nervous. I want it to go well. It's the art of showing up. So professionally, socially, how to walk into a room, how to make friends, how to connect with people, how to present yourself in any situation. It's the most confident version of yourself. Here's my first hit. Just walk in and go, oh, hi. Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.

8:08Excuse me, excuse me. Sorry, sorry. Hi.

8:12Ben Mandelker: I'm going to hand everyone here a pink walkie-talkie, and you have to give it to one other person that you want to become best friends with, whether they like it or not. Okay, that's the first step. This episode is big for her because we get to see her husband, Marco, a lot. Now, Marco doesn't show up on the show. He's always gone. He's like that guy on Rhode Island who's like gone for three out of four weeks or whatever. And we're like, he's cheating. Is he in the mafia? Like, what's his deal? I don't think that after seeing him. I got the least amount of creep meter going off with this guy than any other guy.

8:48This guy just seems so enamored with his wife. He just sits there and smiles at her with his little like conservative congressman hair. He's just like, God, I love you. Love you, darling. I'm obsessed with you and your manners. Please put me to bed, mommy, with another sleep, with another tale about manners.

9:09Ben Mandelker: Yeah, he got a good edit. He seemed really like very proud of Micah. Micah, Missy shows up. By the way, I love that also his name is Marco. They're like, we need one more person whose name starts with an M on this show. So Missy shows up and she's like, to be honest, I never heard of anything as etiquette coach. I mean, I think that like my manners are really good. And then we see a footage of her like yelling, tell the trush. And then her boob coming out. And then her just like shoving food into her mouth or something like that. Or her foot. Or I don't know what it is. She's just doing all sorts of stuff.

9:42A little boob never killed anyone. Come on, guys. So now Missy and Mark sit together because they're the only ones who showed up, like you mentioned before. And he's like, you look adorable. Absolutely riveting. I fell down walking in here. I fell down stumbling over your beauty.

10:05Ben Mandelker: I just wish you had more fleur de lis so I could bid on you at Christie's. Oh, I'm not feeling savage at all today. That was terrible. I'm feeling so fucking awful. I have not felt this bad since... As long as I can remember. Oh my God, what happened? What happened, babe? Oh, it doesn't matter. I don't want to ruin Mike's day. Please, please stop asking me. Please tell me, please tell me, please tell me. Come on, Mark, please tell me. No, I couldn't do it. I couldn't. I couldn't. Please. Is it a bad Michael? Is it a bad Michael? No, please don't make me speak about it, please. You know what? I can't believe that I've allowed someone to affect me.

10:46I just feel like a fucking idiot.

10:49Ben Mandelker: That's how I'm here. No, no. No, you're not an idiot. No, no. It's not okay what she said to you. It's not okay. It's not your fault. It's not your fault. Don't make me discuss it. I beg of you. So then we go to Margo's house and her boys are playing soccer outside and they sit down and they're like, how was your trip? She says, how was my trip? How did you hear about my trip? What did you guys hear about it? That you hated it and you had a panic attack. She's like, yeah, I did hate it and I did have a panic attack. Oh, my God, you guys. You were so good. I will not repeat what Jacques said when I told him what happened.

11:30Ben Mandelker: Okay, I'll tell you a little bit. It was like, so what? I was like, what? Huh? He was so defensive of me and so disappointed in the whole situation. He did not want me hanging out with any of these people ever again. Really? That was your remark to that? Because when she said he was livid, I won't even repeat what he said. I was like, I'll bet it was a lot of the F word. I'm not fuck. this experience has 100 % clouded his view of London. Yes, I'm sure. He's like, oh, this tremendous, beautiful city. You know what? Let's go back to Glendale. You know what? London's nice and everything, but I don't know about these British people.

12:09Ben Mandelker: Glendale's a better place for me. Get me to the Americana. You know what I'd like? I'd like to go take me to the auto strip on brand. I want to see people street racing by the Kia dealership. That's better. That's where I got to be. So she's like, guys, if you like London, then maybe I can figure out a way for like maybe you to stay here because I'm really only here for this reality show. Let's face it. I keep talking about this massive career I have in London. But if you look on something called IMDb, you'll find out that that's bullshit. OK, but if you want me to find you excuses, I can I can find you excuses.

12:45And then your dad might pay the rent for this place that we're not going to have much longer than three days.

12:50Ben Mandelker: so yeah you know i may have to come back here to work on something so um you know if you guys want to come back i can maybe find you guys like a crew i'm a cool mom i'm a cool step mom to like a crew yeah a crew like because i'll have access to plenty of teenagers who i'll assemble and make them your friends that sounds realistic like just show us more of your model friends and we'll show we'll come back okay we'll do that everything's more fun with friends well unless you have friends like mine in which case totally not more fun am i right guys a panic attack right so when we go back to the event yeah mark is still feeling things my whole life trying to protect myself because i was definitely the only person who was obviously gay in a school of about 1000 boys i could feel this immense shame for so long that i just decided that i wasn't gonna tolerate it anymore and that i was only going to allow myself to be close to people that i really trusted But sometimes, Ben, you just think, wow, maybe the moment you go out of that circle of trust, everyone just really does think you're fucking weird.

13:57Missy, no. You're not weird. Stop saying you're weird. That's not true. You're one of us. And you are the most beautiful human being inside out. You are so loved. And you're no different from anyone else. And it breaks my heart. It breaks my heart. You're a beautiful human being. Don't let it affect you, my love, please. and he's like, oh, oh, oh, oh. When he starts crying, I was cracking up. This was my favorite thing. Mark Francis crying killed me because his Botox doesn't really let him move his face

14:29Ben Mandelker: and he's just like, oh, oh, oh, oh. It was like a demon was trying to get out of him. He was like trying to transform into something and it like wasn't taking. It was like the demon was like, let me transform you. He's like, no. I mean, I 100 % think that his emotional reaction was real. I'm actually not doubting any of his emotional reaction. I think 100 % this was triggering to him for like, it does like hit on the specific sort of bullying that a gay little boy receives, especially one who's often photographed as a sailor. But I do also think like two things can be true. He can be traumatized and he could, and it could be bringing up bad memories and he could be a funny crier.

15:10Yeah. So he's like, Oh God, why? Why am I crying? So he has to get up and go out. And she, of course, follows him. And he's like, I don't want to do this to Micah. Fuck me. It's not okay. It's not okay. So she follows him out. And then they grind the stairwell. He's like, I don't want to make a scene.

15:36Ben Mandelker: I don't want to make a scene, everyone. It's like, okay, okay. You know you're not making a scene. No, it's fine. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappens commercial.

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17:32So he's telling us, I have never cried in front of anyone. I don't cry. I hold it together. I'm mortified for Micah. I'm mortified for Missy. I'm mortified for myself. Because this isn't me. I'm also

17:50Ben Mandelker: mortified because I'm going to an American teaching us about etiquette, but that's a whole separate issue. So Micah comes out and And right when they're announcing her, Mark and Missy run back in to catch it. They're like, maybe this isn't the greatest etiquette being late. Oh, gosh. So they're like, well, please welcome the Queen of Etiquette by the Daily Mail. Okay. Thank you, Daily Mail. I have been obligated to now do this performance in bullet points. So thank you. So this is not my first time being on stage. I actually, when I was little, I was in the Sarasota Sailor Circus, and that is where I learned how to perform.

18:29A sailor, a fellow sailor, I bow down to you, ma 'am.

18:35Ben Mandelker: Why are they burying this at the end of the season? And we see this footage, or we see, I'm sorry, a photo of, like, Micah in, like, a trapeze thing, like, acrobatic. They're standing in, like, a pyramid style, but, like, floating. And it's like, she's in the local Sarasota Circus. She was in the circus. That's how I learned to be on stage. The best thing I ever did as a child because it taught me stage presence. Like, okay, well, you know, maybe stop swallowing the lemons you're juggling. Guys, I want to teach you about etiquette. Hold on. I'm going to swallow this sword. Okay. Guys, I want to teach you about how you should enter a room.

19:18Ben Mandelker: One option that I like to do is via Canon. So if you excuse me, I'm just going to climb in this thing. Boom. I'm ready. Okay, with Ms. Ained, I'm in the parking lot. I'm in the parking lot. Can we, we'll try that again. Sometimes it doesn't work. So my tip is when you land from being shot out of a cannon, you stand up and you say, well, hello, I have arrived. Now, who wants to get in and try it out themselves? Mark? now when you are driving someone somewhere the best thing you can do is open their door for them wait for them to get out then wait for the next one of them to get out and then the next one and then the next one and then the next one and it's a clown car it's a clown car guys it's you're going to be at that door for a long time so just you know just bring a book or something

20:11Ben Mandelker: so uh then she starts giving her tips like you are a brand you are telling people what you think you are like who they think you are and what how you should present yourself and when you make an entrance room remember to hold things in your left hand so your right hand is ready to hold a cane and welcome in the elephants okay everyone that's how you do it Micah has this infectious, positive energy, which is brilliant, and she knows what she's doing. Micah owns etiquette, clearly. Question. Has Micah always been part of our cast? Have we filmed with her before? We have. Have I met her? Does she play the trombone?

20:51Ben Mandelker: Are you sure? I'm pretty sure I've never interacted with Micah ever before. If you're shaking hands and you know sometimes you put one hand over the other hand, that's a power play. That means I'm in charge of you. I own you. Okay, and when you're in public, air kisses is what we do. Your lips do not touch the skin of the other person. Okay? Or the tiger in certain cases. Smiling is the international symbol of approachability. I highly recommend that if you see, for instance, okay, put yourself in this position. You are swinging 30 feet above the air, above a net, and you see another trapeze artist reaching out his hands to you.

21:29Ben Mandelker: You have to smile so he'll want to grab you and not let you plummet to your death. Okay, can we all try that now? We lost a lot of girls that way. Yeah, back in Sarasota. It was rough. Okay, so remember to smile, but be careful because eyes pinched, lips pinched. Look at this. Who's going to invite me to a party? Who's going to invite me to the party? In acrobatics, we call that flying bitch face. Yeah.

21:54Wow, this was my first etiquette class, well, outside of America. And I did it. I did it. Oh, my husband's here. He's my biggest cheerleader. I feel really supported. And he's like, oh, my God, that was amazing. Would it be bad etiquette to announce I've got a halfie?

22:13Ben Mandelker: No, because you asked first.

22:19Ben Mandelker: So they meet, and they're all hogging. It's great. it was a good class it actually legitimately was a good class and now we go to mr porter and lottie and joshua enter um because they're going to have a date and so lottie's like she's just starts ordering all the food she's like we're going to have the clotted cream and the fish and chips and the scones as well as the steak and we'll also get some tomatoes and some tartar what would you like joshua he's like okay are you sure do you would you like a diet cola Okay. He would like a steak frites, please. Is there anything else he would like, sweetie?

22:57He's like... He does not want to order anything. He doesn't. He even goes, eating for three, I see.

23:05Ben Mandelker: Joshua hates ordering at restaurants. I always order for him because I know him so well. I know what he wants. I guess it's a bit masculine of me. Look at me. Masculine Lottie. Butch. Butch lesbian Lottie is what they sometimes call me. And you know he likes it. I like it. It works, okay? It works. He says, squeezing in a date night pre-show, it's also pretty unheard of, you know? I know, but that's what you've got to do when you're trying to keep a marriage going, don't you, darling? You know what I mean? What, trying to keep it going? What are you implying there? That it's not going? Oh, oh, oh, oh, no, I'm just saying you need to make a little effort, you know, going to dinner with your pregnant wife before you abandon her and her baby.

23:47Ben Mandelker: It's okay, I'm just building cribs by myself and crying into pillows. Ha ha ha ha ha. Oh, of course you are. I guess that's just marriage. Ha ha ha ha. Yes, this is it. Just sobbing in closets. Ha ha ha ha. Well, how's our baby boy doing today? Oh, well, you know, he's kicking quite a bit lately, darling. He's probably trying to get out to catch the bus for work. Ha ha ha ha. You're not making him order his own baby food, are you? No, no, no. I'm going to order it for him. Don't you worry. Oh, good. you know what it looks like at the moment it's just like we're at the precipice point where the brand's just gone over 10 years old and I've got to keep pushing the brand forward and I've got to keep this like driving the ship forward I'm going to drive the ship drive the ship forward it's like yes yes well sometimes it's hard not to be number one especially when it's with your husband I'm smiling smiling through the pain right now it's very difficult being a number two especially when you're not feeling well and someone says god I've really got to go number two You remember where you are on that totem pole.

24:55Ben Mandelker: It's hard being number two, especially when your husband's favourite item at McDonald's is number three. All these numbers, very hard to juggle. Well, someone asked me the other day if I was going to take maternity leave. I said, what? What's that? What is that? They said, you know, sometimes dads take a month off when the baby's born. I said, a month off work? Are you kidding me? Good God, no, no. So I have a wife there. The wife is there to take care of the child. I mean, surely, surely your wife knows how to use an L wrench. Am I right? Paternity leave. I mean, father, leave, possibly. Every morning, that is, for work.

25:34Ben Mandelker: Oh, the perks of being closeted traditionalists. Oh, my father was a workaholic. Josh was a workaholic. So I know what it brings, which is dad not really being around very much. But it's okay, because Joshua's boss rides him really hard. His boss, also known as him. It's fine. Everything's fine. It's fine. But I was just mentally thinking I won't work weekends for that period or something. I mean, that was my offer. That's paternity leave for me. Saturday, Sunday, possibly in the morning. An hour, 15 minutes. Come on. But a baby is for life, darling, not just for the weekends. Right? Right? He's like, well, I'm just working seven days a week at the moment.

26:16I'm barely seeing you other than at night, which is great. You really do look good in nighttime lighting. I ask myself, do I want to see this baby in the daytime? Probably not. It's got our skin. It's a nighttime baby. I'll see you then.

26:31Ben Mandelker: You must understand. Yes, a baby is a commitment for life. But as we all know, the ancient text that was put on me means that I'm actually dead Monday through Friday. So yes, if I see the baby all on the weekends, it's truly only when I'm alive. So it is a baby for life. Listen here, Wednesday Adams, I expect you there every single day. He's like, oh, God, really burned me with that one. So now we go to a cemetery with Missy, and she's bringing a big bouquet of flowers to her brother. And she's talking about how it's been a long time since she's been to her brother's grave, and it's hard to go.

27:04And then something shocking happens. Her brother is there. He's like, hey, it's me. Just kidding. Kimmy shows up Kimmy's like Oh hey it's me Here to talk about your brother I'm so glad I could be here to support you I'm sorry Is there a bar here? Is there a bar?

27:25Ben Mandelker: Oh god what a boring location All these people just lying here in the dirt Come on can we get some blanc de blanc To liven this place up Come on I haven't laid down this much since I was married just because you're dead doesn't mean you have to be a bunch of wet blankets am i right come on laugh from beyond the grave i mean whatever happened in the world where skeletons just dance around to find music oh my god look at this gravestone here this gravestone here says may she rest in peace she was a wonderful woman who was taken from us too soon i mean complaining it's a beautiful day why do i have to hear that can i just get through my bottle of wine Oh my god, this one says RIP Mine better say R-I-B B to B, rest in Blanc to Blanc Am I right?

28:13Mine better say B-Y-O-B

28:18Ben Mandelker: Oh, Kimmy, what are you doing? Oh, I'm just draping an omelette for vuz on top of this tombstone. Everyone needs it Listen, I know your brother was a big deal because he's the only person with an actual headshot on his grave, which is pretty impressive what a handsome handsome man god oh good looking god please don't tell me he was a vegan i never would have fucked him if so you know what kimmy reminds me of my brother kimmy really has like my brother's strength and this inner survival instinct and like whatever happens like we get up we keep going we are strong i need friendship to like kimmy in my life yes yeah well in some strange way.

28:59Ben Mandelker: I think this has kind of come full circle. I feel like this has brought us closer. We realize that Margo's a fucking bitch. And I showed you my soft side, which actually doesn't even really exist. I just sort of made you get used to me. And you show me yours, which was really boring. So now we're in trouble. People describe me as slightly abrasive, but in reality I'm the most loyal friend you'll ever have. I've got your back through thick and thin. Thick and thin, I tell ya. Now, we can only hope he's in a much better place now. Okay? I mean, God. Is it really, though? Oh, my God. He really did have a nice home.

29:34I looked it up. I wonder if he's going to have that much space in heaven. Really? I'm sorry. Is that insensitive? He's probably looking down saying, Missy, who's your hot friend? I would have flirted with him. God, he's good looking, wasn't he? Cool.

29:48Ben Mandelker: As long as he's not haunting Margo's flat, I'm sure he's in a better place, right? Just automatically.

29:56Ben Mandelker: So now we go to a place called the lounge. It's a, it's, it's a somber moment. It's gray out. And Mark arrives. He sits down and he says, I received a message for Margo. It arrived by pigeon. It was disgusting. Said, hi, Mark. I just finished talking with Micah. And we see Micah and Margo. We have a flashback to last week when they were like hammering out this text message that Margot wanted to start by saying, look, okay, I know you're a fucking queen, but we can still talk about things. Like, whoa, whoa, whoa, Margot. It says, now realize that my words are deeply hurtful in a way that I wouldn't have meant.

30:40So he's like, okay, so I'm meeting her. Let's see what she's got. And so Margot comes and she's like, oh my God, I'm actually like really nervous to talk. Nervous? Why ever so? Well, yeah, I just, I mean, I don't know. I have, like, feelings. I have feelings. So, like, when I look at it in honesty, like, I mean, okay, I haven't been kind. And I haven't been a good friend. And whatever emotions and reactiveness I've had, it's my responsibility to take. So, I'll do that eventually.

31:07Ben Mandelker: I haven't quite felt the way you made me feel that long, probably, since school. That attitude took me right back to my 16-year-old self, who was suicidal because of being completely shunned by society. I'm not prepared to have that all thrown back in my face by someone who clearly has Narcissistic tendencies and bad fashion and guess what you're right. It is kind of freaky It's freaky that I'll never be able to introduce the person I want to spend the rest of my life with my parents. I've chosen to live my truth rather than to perpetuate a lie Good luck coming back to that load. I just dropped on you ha She's like, um, well, I mean, I feel bad that he went to a place like that.

31:50I mean, God, I'm not here to fight. I'm here to take responsibility for my part. God, I'm not responsible for you being a weirdo little gay kid in school. Sorry. I apologize for every bully in school who called you a weirdo weirdo. I mean, what am I supposed to say to that? Jesus. He's like, well, I'm not ready to be close to people who are not truthful, who are playing an act. I just can't do that. I can't go back there. I can't go back there. Did I mention boarding school was full of actors? I'm traumatized by them. I will never be around them again. Please, please, don't look at me. Please.

32:22Ben Mandelker: Well, I didn't know any of that about you, Mark. Well, because you never made an effort, which is fine. I don't expect it. I just don't expect bullshit either. Actress. So she's like, wow, he's really doubling down. He does not want to clear the air and move on. Wow. Look, I think that he is right to be upset, but he's also been mean to Margo. I mean, come on. I think that if she had a brain, which she doesn't, she could have just said, Mark, I totally hear where you're coming from. I'm so sorry that I made you feel that way. I just want to point out that the reason I was upset was because when I hear you laughing behind my back and mocking my clothes, I feel like a child in school who's being taunted and bullied.

33:06And that's what hurt me. And we have that in common.

33:08Ben Mandelker: Something. I think it would have been really good. It actually would have been a really nice moment between the two of them. Yes, but instead, she's like, I mean, I just think it's funny that every time I see her, like, oh, like, so big. I'm like, so fake. I mean, the reason I used the word freak, I wasn't even talking about you. It was your behavior, your freaky behavior. I mean, you're like cycling through all these different personalities, and then you're like, you came and you touched me, and you're like, tried to be flirtatious. I mean, it was just so, ah. And he's like, this is flirtatious.

33:46this is kind of his crying face but laughing i was dying i think margo was doing actually an

33:51Ben Mandelker: a decent job up to this point but then the i'm not saying you're a freak i'm just saying you're behaving like a freak because you have you're like cuckoo for cocoa puffs all these different personalities so he's like oh she's and so mark is like yet again here we go the narcissism it It must be because everybody's obsessed with me. That's what she's thinking. She goes, um, I think Mark wants to fuck. I mean, maybe he's just like having some really conflicting emotions because he's sexually attracted to me. Oh, God. Oh. He goes, she's a lunatic. She's actually a lunatic. Actually crazy. Yikes. He's like, I tried to be flirtatious.

34:33And it's like, that is hilarious. And she goes, but you were like, darling. and then you were like touching and you thought I was flirting with you. Oh, God. Okay. I think we've had, this conversation has definitely run its course. So if you think that I'm flirting with you, we're not going to get anywhere, sweetie. Now that is that. Enjoy your afternoon. Flip my sunglasses.

34:56Ben Mandelker: He walks off and then she just is sitting there and goes, well, I guess I'll pay for these sparkling waters.

35:05Ben Mandelker: She's so unhappy. so um did you knock out your headphones again yes i'm really being i'm really waving my arms a lot today i keep just knocking oh how uncivilized of you now it's time to go to the joshua kane fashion show so he's like um he's like sewing stuff up and everything and lottie is like the purpose of this fashion show is really to show the world the bullshit that he's saying he needs to do instead of taking care of our baby. So then you can all judge for yourselves. We're going to take tailoring to another level. We're going to sew sewing, which is actually amazing. We're going to sew on an elevator.

35:43Ben Mandelker: We are literally going to a new level. We will be tailoring from hot air balloons from now on. Just you watch. So he's getting people ready and, you know, getting everybody dressed and stuff. And then we go to people getting ready. Emma's getting glam on and Mark comes in and he goes, oh, what a tart.

36:07Ben Mandelker: Shall they tell me what I've missed? I'm too wealthy to listen to this banter. Just get to it. He's like, oh, Margot. I thought for the sake of Martha, who so adores her, I'll go and meet her and give her a chance just to be real. Fundamentally, I made a huge mistake because I just explained to her how she made me feel and she responded by telling me. that at Longleat I was touching her and flirting with her and made her feel uncomfortable. I don't understand. No, Margot is not Mark's type. Like, I can guarantee it. Mark's like, I mean, at that point, I just had to leave because she clearly isn't interested in listening to a single word.

36:54Ben Mandelker: No, she's not. She's not there. Well, I wonder if she needs to have some space in time ideally in America and never come back, perhaps. She's all been such a black cloud of bullshit. So now we go to Moth and Kimmy and they'll call and they're heading over to the show and Martha has like a heart hat that goes over her forehead. It's like a little heart and she's like yeah, this is Victoria Grant, famous British hat maker and friend of Martha and Kimmy. Kimmy's like, oh, God, well, she also made my hat. Oh, that's really Victoria Grande.

37:36Ben Mandelker: So how do we feel about today, madam? Like you think Margot's going to be polite today, or is she going to be her usual kind of psycho self? Well, I don't know if she's even coming. We had a bit of a text exchange, and then she blocked me. Oh, God. She's like an anchor. She's just dragging everything down all the time. Yes, well, I do feel the same way, but I also do feel like I need to talk to her. Commercials. Here comes one right now.

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38:46With Spectrum Business, you get more than just internet. You get support with 100 % U.S.-based customer service. Real people who understand small business, ready 24-7 to help you stay up and running. Join millions of business owners like you across America who trust Spectrum Business for reliability, speed, and support. Visit spectrum.com slash business today to get started. Restrictions apply. Services not available in all areas. Okay, class, let's begin. Psst, love your boots. I just sold a pair like that on eBay. Oh, really? Yeah, it took like two seconds to list, and they sold almost immediately.

39:25I've been selling everything lately. Some chunky boots, a faux fur coat I never wore, and a vintage chair that was more of an expensive clothing rack.

39:33Ben Mandelker: You know, I actually bought these on eBay. Wait, are you kidding sell stuff from Brooklyn? Okay, quiet, please. Find what you love, sell what you don't. eBay. Things people love.

39:47so now we go to the fashion show at the mandrake and people arrive and we see all these people everybody looks great i mean this cast really knows how to dress they all look good so missy is showing off her suit she's like i'm wearing joshua cane it's so beautiful i put the pants on i said oh my god i don't have a bum but this makes my bum look so good. I'm looking so nice. And

40:13Ben Mandelker: so they're all saying hi. And Lottie's asking how Micah's event was. And Micah's like, oh my god, yeah, it was great. It went really well, etc. And then Mark and Emma show up. And they're all saying more hellos. And then Margot arrives. And Margot's kind of like wearing like a crop top sort of thing. And her midriff is showing. And she's like, I have made peace with myself and my behavior. I am free of the mark drama but i have to talk to martha it's just so strange to look at someone i love so much a soulmate and not recognize her i think it's funny by the way i love when people are like yeah so i was totally obnoxious to mark and i dug up childhood trauma but i'm at peace with what i did so i'm just gonna move on glad yeah yeah so everybody is just looking at her when she comes and Martha is like, I'm so frustrated with Margot.

41:09I want to give her the biggest hug and the biggest fucking pony club kick there's ever been at the same time. Do you understand?

41:17Ben Mandelker: So they hug and they're gonna, Martha's like, how are you? Margot's like, I'm okay. Okay. Margot's like, I'm in an awkward position. I'm not going to allow someone to be rude to me, but at the same time, anytime I stand up for myself, I'm accused of being the problem, so I feel really alone. You're alone because you've ostracized yourself and made everybody hate you. Sorry. Sorry that you did that to you. Oh, God, I'm at peace with myself now because I said that. So Margo tells Emma, she's like, oh, I didn't get to say thank you for having me before I left. She goes, oh, yes, well, thank you for coming.

42:01You also didn't have a chance to say it on the way back or when you got home or this entire two weeks that it's been since you left. But okay.

42:12Ben Mandelker: Yeah. Yeah. Don't tell the marching us a path that you didn't have a chance for two weeks when you could have called her or sent a letter or anything. Well, I was worried about you because they said there was an incident. She goes, oh, well, it was intense for me. I mean, it was a lot. It was a lot. Do you know they have a Wallace and Gromit statue in Cheddar? It was just, it was too much. Yeah, I was trying to crown this bench, and then these two old men were like creeping on me. That was Wallace and Gromit, the statues. Really? Well, yeah. I mean, they were pretty hard. I'm just saying. They were flirting with me.

42:47Ben Mandelker: So Joshua is getting nervous backstage because it's about time for the show to begin. He's like, this is the point where I get really, really anxious and really, really nervous. It's just so emotional. I put my everything into it. Like, well, so, but is every fashion show like this? It's like, oh, no, I was just putting an order on Postmates. It's just a lot. Very scary. Does anyone have any theories on why McDonald's is always so cold when it arrives, but pizza stays warm? Think on that. Think on that. So Joshua's giving instructions to everyone. He's like, don't embarrass the pleats. and then he sends the first person down and we see the fashion show and these people i don't know i think people now are just like can we just get nightmare before christmas models we just want people who look possibly dead cadaver models although this guy they had what a beautiful i mean he's probably 20 but he looked like a doll like just did look like a doll wow it was a very nice fashion show but they were but also i felt like everyone was like standing so close to the runway because it was like basically just like a path and i just felt like i wanted them to have like a little bit more space and for some reason i kept on thinking of that song i was like come on be my baby tonight because i think that um i think on sisters my baby tonight that's gonna be in my head now no it's like

44:19Ben Mandelker: come on by jeffrey osborne i don't know everyone get ready for the cabaret um that's what in my entire cabaret performance would be like but i just remember that they used that song during steel awards fashion show on sisters and And I just always think about that every time I see one of these fashion shows. I'm sure you do. I'm sure you do, babe. Seal Awards Sisters Fashion Show. It's like whenever you're wondering what Ben's thinking, when Ben's just staring at a wall, it's like, what do you think? Nickel for your thoughts. It's Seal Awards Fashion Show on Sisters. Guys, Sisters did so many of these storylines first.

44:58So, yeah, the clothes are pretty cool. He's really into these collar things that are just like the collar. Yeah.

45:04Ben Mandelker: Yes, I actually, that's my least favorite part of his fashion show. I didn't like that. Well, someone with a waddle, I did like it. So Joshua Kane, feel free to send over some of those collars to Spicewood. I'll wear them all around the HomeGoods, girl. So Margot is, basically, they love it. And then Lottie comes out and she looks great and stuff. And so they all compliment them. And he gives a little speech at the end. And he's like, as you may or may not know, this is the last show I'll be doing before transitioning officially into Wynonna Ryder in 1993. Thank you. Thank you very much. So she walks, like, oh, my God, look at her.

45:45Ben Mandelker: She's so good. She's so good. And then Joshua comes out, and he's like, he's like, thank you, thank you. As you just said, I'm going to be a father, and I'm so excited for it. I will now go back to my coffin. so Lottie says you know what, in this moment all my worries about him not being there as a dad just kind of melted away and you know, he's at work providing for us, paying our bills running away from menus building a business, building a life you know, we're having a little boy and he's going to be the heir to this business and I'm just really excited for the next chapter to meet Baby Boy and Baby Boy you're getting a grilled cheese from mummy.

46:30Ben Mandelker: I'm ordering it for you. So Martha pulls Margot for a chat and she says, I really hate confrontation. I'm just getting quite, there's just so much turmoil inside right now. So they go for their little talk and Martha's like, Margot tries to start it all victim-y. She's like, I mean, I just don't even recognize you, Martha. I've never felt like this quite before she goes yeah i don't recognize you margo margo's like whoa because we all thought this was going to be martha sitting down and doing whatever margo wanted and just like kissing her ass and probably made to cry and run off or something and she didn't she sat down like listen here you little snot no shit i brought you onto this show nobody wanted you on this show they said crop tops never and here you are and now you have the nerve i was like yes you went for the crushed velvet to crushed expectations.

47:28Ben Mandelker: This was the, this was the Martha that ran away from home and shaved her head that came out. She goes, look, I feel like you've come back from America. Oh, dare I even say the word with a very different sort of character, a trashy character, a stupid character, an American character from the one that I've known for 20 something years. You've just been quite often ungracious. You've been quite often bitchy. You've been quite often arrogant. Margot, you are an American. And Margo's just looking at her like, um, excuse me, you're supposed to be apologizing. And she goes, do you have any idea what happened to me yesterday?

48:05She goes, no, I don't know what happened yesterday. Well, I came to Mark with like humility. And then he spent like the 15, the next 15 minutes talking at me and not taking one ounce of responsibility for himself. And I'm like, okay, well, you can't talk to someone like that. Okay. Like I'm fine. I'm free. I'm free. So there, Okay, you're not addressing one single thing that she said, Margot.

48:27Ben Mandelker: Yeah, not a single thing. It was pretty clear. Martha brings up a good point. She goes, Mark, criticize your shoes. You attacked his character, Margot. She's like, well, but Martha, you are the one who kept coming and telling me. You asked me what he said. I never lie, you know that. No, no, no. You call me on the phone, and you're like, I just had to protect you. They were coming for you. They were coming for you. Oh, darling, it's London society. Everyone bitches about everyone. Well, it's like everything I do. You're like, oh, but you didn't do it the right way. Like, go talk to Mark. Well, but you didn't do it the right way.

48:59But she didn't say that about Mark. She's just over your bullshit at this point. So then we cut to Kimmy sitting with the others. And they're like, oh, God, now Debbie Downer's up there dragging Martha down. Good God. Leave the window open in case someone gets pushed out.

49:19Ben Mandelker: um so uh yeah mark is like martha needs to learn how to take herself out of those situations the way i do it is i usually climb up a very tall ladder and then jump across a net when in doubt whip out your baton

49:37Ben Mandelker: so martha is like i don't know what else they do with the circus i've run out of things I'm just sticking with the baton just like cannons, tigers we've got clowns we've already done clowns, trapeze people, cannons, there's nothing left, it's over. Unfortunately for me every time I try to get away from someone I just wind up going in circles and circles mainly because I wind up on a motorcycle in a small ball cage but that's okay I feel like you're trying to turn this whole thing back on me and I blame me and blame me for decisions that you've made and I'm struggling with that Margot. She says, well, I'm not blaming you for anything.

50:13I just noticed that the reason everyone started making fun of my clothes was because you started it. So how's that for not blaming you for anything? Oh God, Margot, grow up. And then we

50:25Ben Mandelker: cut to the breaking point for Margot, which is Martha saying, I don't like the crushed velvet. She says, I'm me. I don't like the velvet. This is Margot who like went up to Martha and was like, if you don't put away your dead sister's stupid hats, I can't be friends with you anymore. But then the crushed velvet's too much. Yes. And so Margot says, well, that's what Mark picked up on and that's why they're making fun of me in front of you because you made it okay. She's like, oh God, so it's all my fault that they're not getting on with you. Martha, are you not listening? Yes, it's just that's exactly what I just heard.

51:04That's what you said. So, oh, stop taking it bigger than that. You're taking something here. No, no, that's literally what you just said, Margo. Row the tape. And then go 18 seconds earlier. The reason everyone started making fun of my clothes was because you started. That's what Mark picked up on.

51:20Ben Mandelker: That I said I didn't like your velour jumpsuit and now Mark picks on your clothes because I said that. I mean, is that not what happened? Well, maybe Mark just generally doesn't like your clothes. We have been friends for 25 years and we've never, ever had an argument until that man entered our lives. Wait, so you said it was Martha's fault that because of Martha, they all started making fun of you. But now you're saying it's Mark's fault because if Mark weren't there, then none of this would happen. So who is the villain here for you, Margo? Yeah, it's like it's that man. Margo, these are my friends.

51:55This is where I live. I love you, but I love them too. Well, let me ask you something because there's like fun friends. I mean, there's like fun friends, right? And then there's like friends that will wipe your ass when you're in the fucking hospital, Martha. Okay. says the person who just said that they're going to not be your friend anymore if you don't get your shit together and stop giving your keys to strangers.

52:14Ben Mandelker: There are friends who are going to wipe your shit in the hospital as long as you don't insult the law. She says, yes, well, I don't think that. Mark could deal with that. No, I would never ask him to do that. But I would. I would wipe your poop. And I would do that for you. I would love to wipe your poop. I'd also love to wipe Daphne's poop. I'd do Daphne first, then you. But I would still do that for you. She says, well, I know that. And so it's like very weird to have a friendship like that and then like be held equal. Like how am I on the equal playing field as Mark? Like you're like, but you're my friends too.

52:43Ben Mandelker: It's like not the fucking same. It's not the same. Oh, honey, honey, honey, honey, honey, honey. You don't understand. I do have a great affection for you, but you're American. Everything you say is like pizza hut this, dominoes that. You don't do so much. You've come to my group of friends and caused a huge amount of conflict. And this didn't work on Margot. And she is pissed. She's like, wow, I've pulled out every manipulation tactic in the book. What happened to this woman that she's not falling for any of this? And Martha's like, yeah, she's the one creating all the conflicts. You know, I mean, then she's expecting me to what?

53:17Dessert my other friends? I mean, they're my friends. Seriously, Martha? We handled things very different here, honey. This is England. No one talks about anything. They bitch about each other behind their backs. It's called manners.

53:31Ben Mandelker: Yeah. She's like, I don't feel like we're getting anywhere. Yeah, because I do like, if you go back to what Margot was saying, it's like, you know, like I'm your real friend and they're just your fun friends. I understand what Margot was saying with that. Like you're like, you should hold me with higher esteem because we have a deeper friendship. But Martha ultimately is like, yeah, they're my fun friends. And I want to be with my friends that are fun. And I don't care about the bitchiness behind each other's backs. They can talk about me behind my back because I'll talk about them. And when we all get together, we have the best time and we don't care because it's none of our business what we say behind each other's backs.

54:01So frankly, I choose fun over skid marks. And who wouldn't? And who wouldn't? But also something that rings untrue about this is she's saying we're real friends and those are just fun friends. But you told us your history yourself and you said that you guys used to know each other back when you were a party girl and all you did was party together and that you partied so hard together that you actually went away and got sober. So you're coming back onto this show is like the first time you've been friends without being party friends. at least what she said so make up your mind margo yeah yeah so they're like okay they're like well

54:37Ben Mandelker: i love you i love you and they're like i love you and they just sort of kind of end on this note of like we do love each other but we right now we are not friends so well you know good for them i i actually like good for them for still being friends i was just glad for martha for sticking up for herself because i didn't see that one coming at all and she has no problem with it either. She just stayed totally calm. She's like, oh no, honey, everyone hates you. Do you understand? She basically defended British society. She's like, well, push comes to shove, I will defend British society before Margot.

55:13Ben Mandelker: So they're like, we're going to need it. She's like, I think we're going to need a little bit of a break. Perits, Trumps, Dillards. I'm so sorry. So then we see after a short break, Martha and Margot are talking again. For now, in the This Is Dara font. and then Margo says, This is Dara. It's funny because I didn't want to be an American when I lived in the UK the first time. I wanted a whole new life, a whole new identity. But now I really love my life. I love who I am. I love being American. I'm not willing to bend myself for other people anymore. Wow, what a coincidence. When you wanted to be British and fit in with British culture, the people who lived in that culture liked you more.

55:50Ben Mandelker: But now that you decided you don't want to be part of that culture and you want to stick on to the American ideals, you're just not fitting in anymore. Who would have thought? It's also just such a weird thing to say. Like, I mean, I love who I am. I love being American. Okay. It's not people's problem with you, but okay. So Martha rejoins the group and Kimmy's like, oh God, is everything all right with a monster? She's like, it's good, it's good. You know, I've got your back. All right, you need me to push that bitch, I'll do it. Are there any stairs in here? I'm starting to feel like there's some light at the end of the tunnel.

56:26Ben Mandelker: metaphorically and literally back on my horse. And we see she is reunited with Daphne, her horse, riding her around and very happy. And then 12 weeks later, we also see that Lottie and Joshua had their baby Ezra, Bo, Dale, Kane. That's a lot of names that don't flow. I need more flow. One of those has to be at least a two-syllable. We are very committed to have a child who can have no nicknames. Yes. Ezra Bo Dale. Ezra Bo Dale Kane. Yes. Well, Joshua's going to be a great dad. I think I've worried for nothing. He comes home every night for bath time. He takes a bath and then he goes to bed. That's nice.

57:08The baby sees him sort of, you know, wafting from the bathroom to the bedroom. It's lovely seeing that. Actually, we're going to paint the whole walls because the baby can't really differentiate colors yet. So it just sees white on white. so we're going to try and get something on the walls there but the baby will know about its father one day we put a little more

57:30Ben Mandelker: Tisha Adams wig on the baby so that way Joshua thinks he's looking at himself

57:40Ben Mandelker: so the baby's going well everything's great and then Micah's like this summer I learned to let go of things or people that no longer serve you this is Tara oh you're back okay um maybe i didn't need dara as much as i thought because now i'm doing okay well you kind of needed dara because without dara you really would not have had a storyline this summer but that's fine um well she got over dara pretty quick actually she hasn't even mentioned her since that second episode really dropped yeah dropped dara like a bad habit They did. So she thanks him all for being such good friends this summer to her.

58:19And Kimmy's like, no matter what's happening in my life, I always just, you know, have fun. It's all fun. There's a time and a place for everything. But in real life, you've got to pick yourself up and, you know, show up to the party. You know, life goes on.

58:36Ben Mandelker: Actually, Kimmy, I know we shot it on such a wrong foot. But I'm like, actually, like, she's my girl. she's like really my girl yeah well you know i think you're a straighter talker just like me oh gosh i built some beautiful friendships real friendships and they're like really helped me gain confidence and like i have never been more like myself than i am now it's like let's see your boobs are out yes they are all right mark it's me am i here let's do let's do a fun game how to speak the English language. You talk first and I'll translate what you say. He's like, okay. But, oh, I thought this was perfectly charming.

59:17Hideous. Never going again.

59:22Ben Mandelker: I don't like stopping. I don't like slowing down. I act as fast as I talk slow. But I need to remind myself, slowing down is not giving up. I need to be kinder to myself. and breathe. And... Mark! Are you alive? Beep! Mark, best ever! And he's like, Oh, I adore you forever! I just know you're coming back in my next life, bitch! That's right, I cursed in public, everybody. It's a new Mark. In the end, I have Margo to thank because she has helped me deal with a part of existence which I wasn't willing to share with the people I love most. The truth is, this summer ends with gratitude and an open heart and a top I'd like to throw over her American trash face.

1:00:13So they all hug and Lottie ends it out by saying, oh, what a wonderful group of people. I'm so glad each of them has agreed to be a father to my child. Anybody? Anybody? It's still not put together. The baby is sleeping on the ground. Lottie, are you putting a small suit on the camera?

1:00:34Ben Mandelker: Yes, I am.

1:00:38And that's it, lads of Lens.

1:00:40Ben Mandelker: What a tremendous, tremendous, wonderful show. It's going to live in my heart for the rest of my life. I just adored it. I hope Bravo brings it back for another season because it deserves like 10 more years on this network. In the meantime, we have the weekend to look forward to. So everyone have a great weekend. And we'll be back Monday with Rhode Island, with Atlanta, Amazon Live and Crappy Hour. And Ronnie, to you, have a lovely time. You too. What a weekend. Have a great one, buddy. Bye, everybody. Watch what Crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alison King.

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