#3348 RHORI S1E06: Newport News

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2:15Well, hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker, and joining me today, freshly broken up from his sugar daddy, it's Ronnie Karam. Hi, Ronnie. How are you? You okay?

2:31Ronnie Karam: Hello.

2:35He is without sugar daddy now. Just kidding. We're talking Real Housewives of Rhode Island today. Before we dive into that, get your tickets to our cabaret. If there are tickets left, go to our website, watchworkrappens.com. Go to our social media to find the links. That's where you will get your tickets. That's because we added a third show. Forgot to mention the first two sold out. So we'd love to have you join us. Be sure to read our newsletter. It's called Read What Crappens. That's on Patreon, patreon.com slash watch what crappens. And Patreon is also where we get our access to our weekly bonus episode, as well as Crappens On Demand, where you can watch us a week before this content goes on to YouTube.

3:15And also ad-free listening. all the good stuff. So go enrich your crappin's experience in some way or another. Today, Rhode Island, it's big news. Kelsey broken up with a boyfriend. And guess what? They're going to go to Newport. It's been all of 36 hours since they went to Newport. But today, let's go back to Newport. Another day at Newport.

3:40Ronnie Karam: Newport. There's nothing like a Newport mansion. There's nothing like a Newport mansion. Nothing like it. I mean, they're amazing. Nothing like it. They're amazing. Newport Mansion the best so Kelsey is saying I've been lucky enough to be a lady of leisure for 10 years now my boyfriend's allowed me to live a life of not being able to work and now I'm at a crossroads where I want more from myself and then we we cut over to Liz's house and Liz is looking at her cash like Kansi you wanna walk and then all of a sudden bling bling she's like I got a notification on my phone let me see what's going on my phone oh my god And then we see Alicia walking outside with the daughter.

4:19And the daughter goes, it's so sunny today. I love the daughter has like Alicia's little, she has like a baby accent of Alicia. It's so funny.

4:27Ronnie Karam: It's so sunny today. And then Alicia's like, yeah, whatever. Oh my God. I got a text on my phone. I'm dead. I'm dead. I'm literally dead. And then we see Joellen playing with her daughter while the rest of her family's in the pool. It's family day. And then she gets a text. She's like, oh! Ah! I like Joellen most dramatic when she gets a cell phone text what is it Joellen nothing nothing I can't talk about it right now so we think like oh my god I'm watching this thinking like oh my god it's a picture of Brian Brian and his mistress out on the town it's been now as official Rula has nowhere else to look but instead it's Kelsey texting everyone saying guys we finally ended things breakup is official I'm moving out soon it's like oh wow kelsey that's crazy surprising news you've brought your boyfriend to the last party so your new boyfriend i love that kelsey thinks she's being so sneaky you're literally dating someone else on camera kelsey okay the rumors are um that kelsey was broken up before the show even began and that her ex-boyfriend was like it's okay you could just use the house like shoot in the house i don't care i heard that'd be nice to her to give her something to do So it's funny She's like now it's time guys It's time for my breakup storyline Like oh you were fucking a guy on camera last week Okay So the producer says Tell us the story of your breakup with your boyfriend How did it go down So then all of a sudden we see Liz And she's at her house And she's facetiming Kelsey And she's like hi How you doing I just read the text Yeah okay she's like I'm good You got a lot of shit going on I'm good You got so much shit Come on Kelsey Yeah that's always my knee jerk reaction To say I'm good Even though I'm not Beep What is that beeping over there I'm sorry I was trying to find a good red light For my face And it's one of the supermarket checkout things It actually works really good You know my cheekbone is$3.99 listen that's a great deal great deal on your cheekbones but you know what you should wait to wait till they're a few days old the price will go down anyway i just feel like the relationship has ran its course and there's like nothing more that i want to get out of this relationship or that's going to change it'll be different than what it is now i mean how many times can you use a guy's barbershop sink before you say you know what i'm getting a little tired of this right so it wasn't just one specific moment it was like you know it wasn't just one where i said i'm leaving it was like it just kept building and building and every time i thought it couldn't get worse it got worse and by worse i mean nothing really happened you know like my relationship's unconventional and so like you know at one time there was one other person but as the years went on there were more people than i initially thought okay kelsey you're in an open relationship with a very rich person who said you can live in my house and be my girlfriend here but i'm still gonna have girlfriends everywhere i go just that's that's all it needs to be you don't need to make it some horrible thing like you were tricked you were not tricked and you were dating someone last week stop this town has the worst cheaters of any town that we've ever seen on it's so sloppy it's so sloppy.

7:55Liz is like, I mean, look, I'm not surprised. And we see a flashback to when they had lunch in the first episode, and Kelsey is like, I feel like for a long time I don't know what the right thing is to do. She's like, oh, honey, honey, honey. You've never known what the right thing is to do, okay? I know it's scary coming from a point of view of it all, having to, like, to a point of making it on your own, but you can make it on your own. You could be a professional

8:23seed taker out of lemons maybe i don't know what are your skills i don't actually really know what your skills are honey you just live in a big house by yourself yeah it's been a long time coming but i'm

8:33Ronnie Karam: proud of you darling you know i know it wasn't easy it wasn't easy for you she's like but i want a real solid relationship so she says did you leave on good terms and she says yeah we were in bed and i was like you know i think the relationship has ran its course and he said he felt i was making the right decision. He didn't even fight it. He just said bye and threw the welcome mat on top of my head, stamped on it a little bit and threw an egg at me. That was uncomfortable. Then he turned the shower on and left the house. Really not sure what's going on with that guy. Well, you know what? That told you all you needed to know, babe.

9:15It just tells you, you know, this way you don't have to have these ongoing feelings, right? See how I use that again? See yeah, just give me some time. I was going to use ongoing against you. So Kelsey's like, yeah, he thought I was making the right decision for myself. And that's what he said. Word for word, we fell asleep hugging each other because we both knew like it was the end. It meant that no, he was about to dump you. And he was like, oh, thank God. Girl, it's like the expired milk

9:39Ronnie Karam: walking itself out of the refrigerator. Your date was up. You're with some older man who wants to take care of you in your 20s, okay? We know how this works. We've been watching these shows. We live in Los Angeles. Okay. We know how this works. Yeah. He's like, oh, thank God. So she's like, it's the beginning of the rest of your life. And I'm proud of you. He's like, well, I'm going to find a place first and foremost. Yeah, I'm here for you. I'll help you out. Don't you worry. He's like, okay. Yeah. I mean, I want to start maybe going through some of my stuff. Can you help me go through some of my stuff?

10:15You got stuff? I thought you just sort of lived there. You got stuff?

10:21Ronnie Karam: He's letting you keep all that stuff. It's like, yeah, thank you. I appreciate it. You're a good friend. Well, unfortunately, we got rid of the boat. I could have put you on the gypsy. That would have been fun. So now we go to, she's like, oh, you're going to have to have someone to teach your lemons. So you're going to get to teach your lemons. I'm not doing that. It's disgusting. So now we go to Rosie's house. where construction on their 45 ,000 square foot home is continuing. And she's like, oh my God, I got a Versace bathing suit. And Rich is watching her because she's packing because they're going to go on their mid-season trip.

11:02Ronnie Karam: I've got an awkward thing to say. I like Rich. Is that weird? I think he's kind of hot. And I can see how he plays Frank Sinatra with those blue eyes. And he seems very supportive. And look, is it cheesy that he's a Frank Sinatra DJ? Sure. But I'm pretty cheesy. I mean, I can get into that. You know, I could be like, can I be Liza? I don't know. I don't find him to be offensive so far. You know, they're, this is, he seems fine. We're on a show where it's like the other options are like Billy and Brian. although I mean obviously the real star is Joellen's husband I mean ever since that sauna scene Gary and Frank Sinatra I would do it both Gary is really especially the way he stood up for Joellen it was like oh Gary Gary Gary okay so they're talking she's saying you know like I have to pack because I'm going to see a Newport mansion and he goes well you know you should try that one on I don't remember what it looks like, babe.

12:13Ronnie Karam: Like, I don't know what to tell you. Like, you want me to pick a bathing suit? Just pick a bathing suit. It's like, Rich, it's too much. Like, depending on if everyone else is dressing like a slut, then I can dress like a slut. But I don't want to do it alone. He's like, right. Gotcha. So anyway, Liz and Alicia are setting up this trip. We're going to a Newport mansion. It's crazy. Like, Newport mansions are unlike any other mansion. Like, there's big houses. And then there are, like, the Newport mansions. They're very different. I mean, look, I don't care if I'm sitting in a mansion or like a motel, motel aid.

12:43Ronnie Karam: What do I care? I don't care about that kind of stuff. Not really. You know, although I'm building up the perfect house. Yes. Watch out, Newport Mansions, because Rosie has one coming on up. So Rosie's got a garage build out that you are going to die over. Okay. She's turning a garage into a 30 million square foot home. Gilded age mansions. Whatever. Have you ever heard of? aged mansions i don't know not even aged it's brand new what can i say i lost my way it's time for a commercial it's time for a crappin's commercial lately i've been more intentional about what i wear day to day and i'm leaning into pieces that feel easy and comfortable but still put together it just makes getting dressed simpler quince has been my go-to the fabrics feel elevated the fits are clean and everything just works without needing to overthink it.

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16:05Ronnie Karam: Try Cachava risk-free with their Love It Guarantee. There's so many rave reviews, thousands of them, in fact. You're going to love it. Treat yourself to the flavor and nutrition your body craves. Go to cachava.com and use code CRAPINS for 15 % off your first order. That's cachava, K-A-C-H-A-V-A.com. Code CRAPINS. so Rosie's like she's saying that she's feeling good she's excited for this trip because like I was feeling really weird after the whole sailboat thing but then at polo I was like I need to course correct this like I'm going to be so friendly and nice and I did that I did that I was like so friendly at polo and we see we see an example of that and we see Rosie opening some champagne and oh did you just open someone else's bottle she's like yeah do you want to come party let's go so nice hashtag so nice so nice yeah and she's like i'm i'm good with everybody except for ashley and then we or kelsey um and then we see the boat fight over instagram how dare you not post my haircut on instagram oh and um rosie's like i'm feeling less anxiety because like i feel like i'm in a good place with people and i just don't want to have fights with anyone he goes yeah baby you know what if you have a hard time this is what you got to do you got to go uh i hear what you're saying really looking to have a good time frank i don't know if that works on the frank sinatra circuit but this is housewives sir okay yeah stay in your stay in your odd fly me to the moon lane fly me to the moon lane he's just doing it his way.

17:46So Rosie says, these girls are relentless, but now everybody's yelled at me, so we can move forward, right? Like, no, no, it doesn't work that way.

17:56Ronnie Karam: Rosie sets herself up to be the biggest victim in this episode. Oh my gosh. But then by the end, I kind of get what she's saying. But at this point, I'm like, well, stop pissing everybody off, and you'll be fine. So we see flashbacks of everyone yelling at Rosie, and Rosie says, you know, we had fun at Polo, so maybe we'll have fun on this trip, too. I mean, I'm like turning the other cheek, like nobody's business like jesus would be so proud of me jesus is like well maybe if you weren't wearing that weird rhinestone thing over the side of your shoulder i'd be a little more proud but you know yeah jesus is like if i had anything in common with your fashion sense i'd crucify myself okay jesus christ you look like a uniform crashed into a wall yeah so rosie's like wait what did you just say a uniform a unicorn you know that she's wearing like that brightly colored broken glass all over her and that outfit is like a thing you look like the rainbow bridge was exploded okay just i just have to keep reminding myself and not freezing up and getting weird it's like yeah don't be a weirdo it's like yeah just don't be weird don't be weird because a lot of people that are big on-air personalities like i am you know reporting on local ice cream shops on a regional television saturday on saturday afternoons people that are big on-air personalities like diane sawyer and um me are actually not like that in real life like i remember one time meeting uh barbara walters 10 years ago at a women in media event and i was like hi miss walters and she said get out of here And I thought, wow, big personality just like me.

19:38Oh, God, that's the last time I barge into her dressing room.

19:42Ronnie Karam: I mean, I can just be fake and be like, you know, be like Joe Ellen and just be like, hi, everybody. I mean, but I can't do that. I mean, if I do that, we won't make a genuine connection. So it's up to you. Do you want fake Rosie or do you want real Rosie? Because real Rosie is going to walk in after just meeting you and accuse you of being a polygamist. Okay. In front of everybody. so real rosie seems like she's actually fake rosie i don't understand it's so funny that she's having this whole thing about like you know like big on-air personalities were really very like timid on the inside but like all she's been has been actually i think relatively big she's shown up she was like on her bouncing things in the first episode she has her big pink things that she wears her shattered unicorn horns stuff on her shoulder and like yeah her hair is big Everything about Rosie is kind of big and fake and like, I'm here for TV.

20:33So it's just funny that she's acting like, I'm just going to be real. Because you have to be careful with people who are fake or whatever. I just feel like she's been nothing but fake this entire time.

20:49Ronnie Karam: Yeah. So Joellen goes to Sonia's, a clothing accessory home store. God, they've got everything in there. and um they're like oh my god welcome in honey well you're at joe ellen's now i mean you're at sonia's now honey okay so you're gonna have to have a glass of champagne we only treat our customers the best and she gives them champagne she's with her sister by the way so they go in and this whole time i'm just like your sister is fucking your husband do you know that like i mean i know that's like an obvious thing for people to make fun of like oh yeah really you're dating your sister's but the sister does seem like she's fucking that husband right it does seem like it's happening yeah so they are trying on different looks and then joellen tells us i feel like i need a vacation at newport is one of my favorite places to go especially during the summer and jen is like yeah so have you been since the funeral because their grandfather died recently joellen's like i don't know it's been a lot i mean just because people don't understand like until they've been through it like that awful dead dad club and now it's just like happened again with grandpa and jen's like yeah i know he was like a second dash like yeah but he was like always around and like when you and i were fighting or like mom like he's always the peacekeeper can we turn this into like bashing mom because i that's my favorite thing to do god mom with the words right less grandpa less uh more living people that we hate okay let's go let's go on to mom mom sucks she's always hated me she's always loved you she's like no no one hates you she's like yeah mom had favorites.

22:19Ronnie Karam: Jen and I grew up differently. You know, she was, I don't want to say the word favorite, but she was the favorite. Okay, call a spade a spade. Just call a spade a spade. You know, it's like making me think about my kids. Like, I wish that mom felt like that about me. You know, like, that I feel about my own kids. Jen's like, but she does. She just doesn't show it the way you want her to show it, you know? But she 100 feels it. She really feels it for you. Joellen. My relationship with my mother, like, you want like that motherly bond, and like, I just never had that in my whole life. Like, God, I mean, what a fucking bitch coming over, babysitting my kids, you know, taking care of them, all that stuff.

22:54God, it drives me nuts. So we see a flashback of Joellen saying, like, thank you for watching the kids. And Nancy goes, her mom goes, well, I decided to fulfill my commitment. She's like, fulfill your commitment as a grandmother. I'm like, I'm sorry. She was being tongue in cheek, right? Like, is that me? Am I crazy?

23:13Ronnie Karam: I don't know. It's so hard with people and their mommy issues. as someone who had them for a very long time. I mean, I didn't really get better with mine until my 40s, let's face it. So I kind of get it. But I also don't necessarily want to hear about it, if that makes any sense. I'm like, ah, shut up. Just shop, for Christ's sake. Use the free babysitting. Like, now's not the time. So - Wait till your kids are like 14, and then you can, like, for right now, get all the free services, okay? Like you still have that warranty. Use it. Well, especially because of what she says. So she says, you know, her relationship with her mom has affected her marriage, her friends, her family.

23:55Ronnie Karam: And she gets all of her love from her friends and her husband and her children and never from her mother. But I'm like, well, but you have so much love in your life. I don't know. But at one point she's like, my mom, you know, they had me in a behavioral. I think she says this later, but she's like, my mom, my mom sent me to a behavioral place when I was young. and my parents did as well when I was 15 I went to one of these places so yeah that's like some trauma for me look how I say I hate mommy issues and I'm like well let me unpack mine for the next hour and a half but um with mine I'm just like yeah that happened but I was no angel I mean no angel gets sent to a behavioral health center you know what I mean like there was there was shit that was deeper than that that yeah I have issues I had issues with for a really long time that we had to work through, but it's not like I was just some angel.

24:44Ronnie Karam: So I'm like, so what part aren't you telling? Because for them to accept you to be a behavioral health center, something must've been going on. So what was it? Yeah, that's my thing. I don't want to blindly stand up for this mom, right? Because parents can be wretched, but I feel like getting sent to the behavioral center, I was like, I would like to know the full story. I want to know the, I would like to hear, I would like to see all the receipts. I'd like this brought to Judge Judy, please. I'd like each side to plead their case, and then I will make my final decision of whether this was an example of the mom being a terror or an example of the child being a terror, and then I will make my final pitch.

25:26Ronnie Karam: Yeah, it's not automatically standing up for the mom. It's automatically not vilifying the mom because I've seen a lot of these shows where I'm like, oh, wait, she's in the wrong, and then I'm like, well, I kind of like her. I mean listen I do have a poster of Muzzy in my bedroom so you know the thing is this is that the trailer is doing a lot of heavy lifting for me because like the there were two trailers for this show and one of them features the mom sobbing I mean like I did the best that I could so in my mind I'm like she did the best that she could okay lay off I'm just totally swayed by this older woman crying on tv yeah well that's a good that's a good way to be swayed you know yeah um So she just goes on.

26:07Ronnie Karam: And also, I think I have mother. I'm just overfilled. We've had so much of it on Bravo. It's like Housewives show after Housewives show is mommy issues. You know, we had Bronwyn and her mom. We have Sutton and her mom, who was right before that. I guess Jackie and her mom kind of, but that was older on. It's just a lot right in a row. I need it. There's always moms. But I think that I think, you know, it is that we really only met this mom once so far. and all that we know is that she came over to babysit the kids and Joellen's been talking shit about her ever since and so I think it's just like we don't, like we just, we need to feel it like, you know, with Bronwyn we had some really riveting scenes with her mom or with Monica and her mom you know, we see them interacting and we're like, oh shit, this is a like, wow, this mom, she's so passive aggressive or wow look at what she's putting on to her daughter Mama D and Deandra one of the best duos we've seen on this but here it's just like this mom with big hair comes over with her like NPR tote bag and it's like alright ready to babysit I'm here to fulfill my you know motherly things you know and she's like oh my god fulfill your obligations you're bitching at somebody doing you a favor on TV and it looks like you're being a shithead and you're right all the ones that you just named there was such like pathos in the monica and her mom thing on salt lake city and in bronwyn's thing i mean there's i need more like pathos or i need more camp i just i just can't have some sweet lady babysitting for free and then you being mean yeah i just need more input but just give us more scenes with the moms then we can be like oh yeah she's a fucking bitch after all you know yeah we're willing to change our minds but for right now i i'm not buying it from yeah and one of my one of my toxic traits is that every time the moms come on these shows and are like a fucking bitch to daughters i love it i'm always like oh she's so good i'm always like oh more

28:07Ronnie Karam: okay so um then they go to we go to kelsey liz is over there to help kelsey pack up paper towels i mean i don't know what she's allowed to take from this house but whatever it is they're they're gonna do it so she's checking on her and then um kelsey's like leaving this mansion i'm terrified you know because i lived with my parents until i met my boyfriend and i was 20 and i went straight from my parents house to his house so this is like the first time where i'm like taking that step and like i'm literally gonna be solo yeah it's a it's a big step i'm like lady you're 30 i'm sorry that this is the second scene in a row where i'm like i don't feel for you but i can't feel for someone who's like i've literally just gotten all of this because i'm hot and it's so hard to think about like doing somebody's hair for a living like really this is your pain i'm supposed to feel for you like i don't hate her or anything but i'm not gonna cry either you know so liz goes well i'm a firm believer that there are no mistakes and you're at a pivotal point in life and you know what you want and you know what kelsey's like who said anything about mistakes Do you think that I made a mistake?

29:21Nah, nah. I'm just saying if one were to think, oh, the past 10 years of your life were a mistake because you did nothing to grow as a person. You just stayed in this big brick house and you thought, oh, maybe that was a mistake for me to waste those years of my life. I'm saying don't think that. No one thinks that. Some of us think that. You know, we all kind of think that. But just know there's no such thing as mistakes. That's it.

29:42Ronnie Karam: Have you ever been to a jail? I mean, look, just looking at the cast makeup of the show and seeing all your connections in this town i'm sure you've been to a jail who in rhode island believes there's no such thing as a mistake i mean that's crazy so she gives her a gift she's like i got you a little something actually i got you a total gig all right i do ignore the bag it's not you now i don't have his money okay i don't have about here here's a little compass will you open the compass there's something that says inside Read it, Kelsey. Go ahead and read it. It's like, yeah, I didn't learn how to do that.

30:19Ronnie Karam: I mean, I moved in here when I was there. Most children learn how to read, Kelsey. Yeah, I didn't. Okay, there's no mistakes. I'll read it for you. You dumb hooker. Sounds starts. It says, you dumb hooker. Then no path is final. No light is lost. You were bored to begin again and blaze your own way home. Wow. i don't really get it what does what does this thing do it's a compass you use it to navigate on the waters i mean come on with the coastal house you gotta know some maritime stuff around here well throughout the relationship he was always giving me money and i didn't have to work and now that we're not together anymore i just need to be self-sufficient you know and hair and makeup has always been a passion of mine and now it's time to be an adult and it's stressful you know i'm gonna go on instagram and see all of these stars posting my haircuts all over the place all of these stars huge stars it's so hard so uh kelsey can i keep the chanel bag yeah you can keep your chanel that's okay and she's like as a dust bag sure it's probably worth more than a compass i'll just say you need all the help you can get honey even if it means sticking on a bag Go enjoy it.

31:39So now it's the day of Alicia and Liz's Newport trip. And Liz is taking Alicia's luggage out of her car because she's there. Alicia's arrived at Liz's house. Are you serious? Well, I didn't know what to bring. I mean, God, like, I'm sorry. Is it going to be crackers? Is it going to be Fig Newtons? Like, what happens if we run over someone on a bridge on the way to Newport? You got to have a shovel, right? So I bought all the stuff.

32:04Ronnie Karam: I'm so excited to host this trip with Liz. You know, Newport, Rhode Island, it's iconic luxury castles, matches. It's where everybody wants to be in the summer. It's 30 minutes away from where I live. And this requires an Uber driver for me. Okay, I will not drive there. It's so far. It's 30 minutes. It's ridiculous. Like, who's got a week? You know what I mean? It's a lot. It's a lot to do. It's like it's, you know, I'm not going to drive very far. So Liz goes, oh, my God. Look at this. Look at these vintage Rolls Royces are pulling up, guys. Can you stand it? princess rolls right back in time but going in style.

32:37So she, Liz has rented a bunch of old timey Rolls Royces to take them to Newport which is funny and she's like, yeah, it's almost like we're in a time machine. It's pretty Gucci. It's pretty cool. I'm like, yeah, saying that it's pretty Gucci is in fact like being in a time machine. It's Gucci.

32:58Ronnie Karam: It's not fleek. so they are talking about rula what else they're oh my god rula rula has anybody seen rula where's rula rula we don't know guys she's not here as usual is that a charisma on this show she's never she never shows up to work um my theory is that she was supposed to be a friend of and that this brian's cheating sort of um well that kind of put her up into a full-time cast member She's so lucky. I know. She really hit it. She hit the big time. Some girls get all the breaks. God. So they head over to this place and Liz is saying, This castle, I've been here several times with parties.

33:43It's beautiful. It's big. It's quirky. It's wild. It's not unlike us. You guys are not like a new poor bitch. I'm sorry. Although it was weird that this castle did have Liz's face. It's like, oh, I went to the same doctor as Mandalore.

34:00Ronnie Karam: So they're talking about how much Kelsey really needs this trip, guys. It's going to be really hard for her. So we see Kelsey in her car with Joellen. And she's like, I'm going through major life changes here. I need an eat, pray, love trip with the girls. You know, as much as I would love to be on the French Riviera, I'll settle for a little Newport mansion. Girl, you better learn to settle. You're going to be settling for Newport cigarettes soon. Just be grateful So then in Liz and Alicia's car They're talking about Rula I haven't talked to her since Polo I gotta be honest I'd love to lie to you Instead I talked to her right before I came here But I didn't Why would I lie about that So Alicia tries to call Rula She's not answering She's like I know that Rula's been through so much stress I think Rula just really needs this trip I feel like we're gonna have fun I'm gonna have fun I don't know about the rest of the group actually But I'll have fun they eat some crackers so then oh my god look at these windows liz liz it's like an actual real life princess this is our life we're fucking celebrating today look at us in a mansion in newport newport mansion it's this enormous it truly is an enormous enormous mansion like just huge i mean these these mansions in newport are really like next level stuff like this is as close as america comes to having country houses in england this is this is like long leet but the difference is it's so funny because you know we just watched the finale or just having watched ladies of london when they go to longleat and this big beautiful estate when we come to this mansion it's big and beautiful on the outside but the more the longer we stay here on this show the more you realize how decrepit it is on the inside did you notice like all the wood was kind of like splintering and like not polished and everything just sort of looked dusty and like a little bit run down and the lawn outside was like patchy it was like brown grass and like some of it was mowed some of it wasn't i was like this is of course the american version of like a noble country house yeah i was laughing at america too because they're walking through and they're like oh my god this house is so old it's a hundred years old yeah a hundred years this is like nouveau riche you know when they when they built this house it truly is like another mcmansion up the street so it's 100th anniversary and pieces of the house were assembled from all over europe originally guys we piecemaled this house from europe it's a pretty big deal yeah it's assembled like that um it was like the ikea of 1922 um so liz is like i mean what more could people want And what's so funny is it's 43 ,000.

36:45You know, I was just joking when I said about Rosie saying her house was going to be 43 ,000 square feet. But I must have gotten the number from this because this house is 43 ,000 square feet, 18 bathrooms, 29 bedrooms. And I mean, 29 bedrooms is insane. And what's also insane is that when they have to divvy up their rooms, they have to act like, well, we only have five bedrooms for you guys. But there's 29 bedrooms here. Don't lie to us. We know.

37:11Ronnie Karam: But how do they have so many more bedrooms, but only two more bathrooms than Jen Aiden? That's crazy. Did Jen Aiden just have toilets everywhere? It's a different time. Commercials. Here comes one right now.

37:33Ronnie Karam: Okay, class, let's begin. Psst. Love your boots. I just sold a pair like that on eBay. Oh, really? Yeah, it took like two seconds to list and they sold almost immediately. I've been selling everything lately. Some chunky boots, a faux fur coat I never wore, and a vintage chair that was more of an expensive clothing rack. You know, I actually bought these on eBay. Wait, are you, Kitty, sell stuff from Brooklyn? Okay, quiet please. Find what you love, sell what you don't. eBay. Things people love. This podcast is supported by MidiHealth. Are you in midlife and feeling dismissed, unheard, or just plain tired of the old healthcare system?

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39:41Ronnie Karam: They look at the bedrooms and Liz is like, I want the fairy room. I want the fairy room. Oh God, look at this baby to us here. This is my vibe. It's my vibe. And then they go to a different room and Alicia's like, Liz, this reminds me of you. She's like, Oh my God, I love it. I think I'm going to stay here. This is wonderful. It's just, yeah, I think it may make the fairy room with all the fairies. I mean, we get first dibs and everyone else can figure out where to go. Okay, this is great. I'm so excited for these girls to get the royal treatment. We have two butlers, Robert and Boris, with champagne bottles all day long.

40:12And I think Kelsey's going to feel right at home because she's used to this, you know? Well, she used to be. And we see these two guys. They look like they just were picked up from the 7-Eleven and put into tuxedos. It's like, hey, welcome to the castle. Who here wants some cocktails or whatever?

40:28Ronnie Karam: Who wants some of this 7-Up in a bottle, eh? It's going to be good. It's going to be good shit. That's champagne. I'm sorry, but it's only champagne if it's from the region of 7-Eleven. Okay? Come on. So the other girls arrive, and they're like, oh, my God, it's so big. And this is just them looking at a mansion for 20 minutes, basically. And Joellen and Kelsey see their bedrooms. And then we find out that they're going to have a doll tea party later. And so they have to get ready for this doll party thing. Yeah. So, so then everyone's getting ready and then Joel's like, what's up with the dolls?

41:09And Kelsey's like, she probably talks to them when Billy is not home. I'm like, Kelsey, you really are not wanting to talk. You, but it's just been you and a cleaning lady who hates you plotting your death for 10 years okay and then we go to at least alicia has a pizza yeah exactly hot hot mamas

41:28Ronnie Karam: we'd see alicia cleaning the doll's face and she's like i feel like you're gonna get me in trouble i don't know why i just feel it yikes lady never has a doll wanted to run so far it's like let me go please animate me somebody i just please animate me someone please let me out of here i'm waiting for my mannequin moment. Alicia's like, I just think dolls are so pretty. You know, it tells so much about a person by what doll they pick. And we see, we see like two weeks ago when she was showing up for dolls to Liz. She goes, I don't let my daughter play with the dolls. You know, I tell her she can, she can play only if she plays very gently.

42:09Like, I love that the kids are not allowed to play with the dolls. Yeah.

42:13Ronnie Karam: So she says, as a child, I do. I love beauty. I love clothes. I love purses. I love little high heels. I liked it probably, like, you know, three years old, I liked it. I liked it, and I still like it at 41. I still like it. Yeah, I'm not sorry about it. Sometimes when you're sitting there on the floor of Superior Bakery playing with a doll, it's the only happiness you know. So she's like - This doll right here, she gets it. Look at her. Look at her face. She gets it. The doll's like, please, please leave me alone. I haven't been touched in 90 years. so rosie is hanging out with ashley and rosie's like if i had to guess rula's gonna show up eventually and now she's like i think tomorrow though she's like really you don't think today she's like oh my god i just got nail glue in my eye

43:02Ronnie Karam: now joellen and kelsey um are talking about kelsey how hard it is guys because she's dating a really rich person i don't know if you've heard and they broke up so they're talking about that and she's like you know bills got mortgage payments and stuff like i don't know how to be an adult like what's a mortgage like people talk about principal payment like principal of what like why you got to pay a principal that's crazy like i don't know what that means i never even knew what my dad's career was all i knew was that the bills were getting paid and he bought me a career a car and paid for my college okay you went to college good on you didn't see that one coming did not i i'm just not into people who brag about being an idiot maybe she just maybe he just paid for the supplies that way she could make a collage and she mispronounced it

43:51Ronnie Karam: so elisa brings the suitcase outside she's like okay let's let's get that to the set the door come on you got this just all the dolls she's gonna put in the back of the rolls so they're setting up for this weird tea party thing and it's an iron carriage out there that I think is supposed to be to put plants hanging from. Isn't that what it is? Yeah, well, it's definitely not something that holds a hose because half that lawn is brown. Unless there was a drought in Rhode Island. I was like, you're supposed to, this is supposed to be pretty. So that, yeah, there's this weird tacky white wrought iron carriage in the back so they're sitting in that and um alicia's like oh my god you guys look beautiful and they're like oh my god look at you did all this stuff for the dolls and she's like put baby seats across this table their luncheon table and the dolls are each in a baby seat and the dolls are supposed to match the women it's a really weird one really so they come in and they're like oh my god there's like little things for dolls wow and And Ashley goes, I'm obsessed with this doll lunch.

44:56Ronnie Karam: Like, I love my American Girl dolls. Did I have, like, all five originals? Yes. Do I have all of the NSYNC Barbies? Yeah. Like, my Jonas Barbies, the Camp Rock era? Yes. Yes, I do. It turns out every single one of those dolls would rather be at a coffee shop than, like, hanging out with me, which is really awkward. so then um they get some champagne and then joellen comes out she's like are you caring with this with this carriage oh my god are you kidding me so then uh they're all like oh my god i love your outfit and everything and then liz falls over because of her heels and she's like oh my god okay we try again and they come over and they're like oh my god all the girls look so beautiful everybody.

45:44Ronnie Karam: You look so pretty for this. And Joellen goes, Rosie, you look like a stripper. She goes, that was the plan. She goes, I should have just said you don't look good. So Alicia's like, okay, let me introduce you all to the bitches. Okay, they're going to come sit with us and eat this gorgeous meal dolls. Okay, ready? And Joellen's like, well, I want to know what these dolls mean to you. Did these dolls ever send you to a behavioral camp? And if so, you feel victimized by it just seeing her be such a good mother to those dolls it makes me realize what i've been missing no doll you cannot babysit for me for free don't even look at me disgusting pig of a doll so um they're like what's up with the dolls alicia and she's like okay like so with dolls right like throughout the entire world for centuries like bajillions of years ago and they're like oh wow bajillions that's many years yeah so many years like every girl most of them they just connect to a baby doll no one knows why johan goes where'd you get that statistic from she goes yeah from billions of years she goes okay there's no statistic okay honestly it's just something i saw when i stared at billy's pizza one day and it just came to me but anyway we're gonna have lunch and everyone's gonna take their dolls and we're gonna sit next to us they're gonna sit next to us okay and they're like um okay i remember the very first doll was snow white i love snow white so much if the hair was out of place, I would have a breakdown and throw the doll and cry.

47:13Mental. It was psychotic.

47:17Ronnie Karam: So they're putting all these dolls on baby seats. And Rosie's like, are you good? You need a little hot? Are you a little hot? We gotta cool you down, girlfriend. What are their names? I think this doll's being mean to me. I'm not really sure. But I don't appreciate it. But I'm gonna try again. I'm gonna try again with you. Sorry, I was using my TV personality on you. My bad. Really a quiet person.

47:41So they're like putting the, Alicia's like, you're not putting a doll in your chair though, Joellen. She was like, well, she deserves to be on a pedestal. Joellen says, the way that Alicia likes dolls is the way I like Botox. So they, that big question is, is Rula gonna come?

47:59Ronnie Karam: Rula, Rula, Rula, Rula. Where's Rula? Where's Rula? Where's Rula? Where's Rula? Joellen goes, this is wicked rude that she's not here. Wicked rude. Well, I think she was kind of like, you know, beat down. Like choosing to believe Brian. and she's like, that's it. Like, we're working on a marriage. I don't think she wants to hear anything anymore. So, you know what? We shouldn't say anything. Joelle's like, yeah, well, she needs to stop blaming me because I'm trying to be there for you and have our back, okay? And we see a flashback to Joelle and Ed Polo being like, you know, I'm not trying to fucking hurt you.

48:27It's just I'm not done. I'm not done. If you want proof, I'll figure it out. I'll get it. I'll get you the proof.

48:33Ronnie Karam: Well, you know, I think that she questions your motives, Joelle, okay? She's just questioning the motives about it. She goes, what's the motive? Like, I don't want a fucking husband. Like, I feel bad, you know? So I think that you guys should feel bad, you know? Like, her husband's cheating on her. Yeah. She goes, well, I don't believe Joellen feels bad. So it's funny to me when she says it, because I'm just like, ooh, okay, who are you? Who the F are you? Talisha goes, well, no one needs to remind her that he's a scumbag anymore. It's done. Everyone knows. Don't remind her anymore. It was a year and a half ago, Alicia.

49:10Ronnie Karam: She thinks it's from a year and a half ago, Alicia, and it wasn't. She goes, done. I'm done with it. I'm done with it. And Kelsey's like, let's save it for when she's here because I'm sure she's going to want to talk about this again. And Liz is like, all right, tonight's a little black tie, so relax a bit. We'll see you down at dinner. And so that's it. That was the whole lunch. She was like, where's Rula? The whole lunch was, where's Rula? Yeah, this was sort of weird. It was like this whole thing of like, we're having lunch with dolls, and then they sit down, they have lunch, and then it's over.

49:36The dolls have nothing to do with it. So now they're just sort of doing different things. Joellen is sitting on a swinging chair out front. And she FaceTimes Gary. And she's like, hi, you at practice? He's like, yeah, I am at practice and definitely not sleeping with your sister right now. She's like, oh, good. Okay, well, I'm on a swing. I'm just like swinging back and forth. He's like, yeah, I saw your swing. Yep, I'm swinging. Yeah, big swinger. Big swinger.

50:05Ronnie Karam: Oh, little Easter bunny egg for us all, guys. So then Alicia is using a metal detector on the lawn. Hilarious. You never know what you're going to find out here. That could be a diamond. You know, there could be a diamond over there. Diamonds aren't metal.

50:22It's 10 cents. No jewels there. Okay. What was she hoping to find?

50:28Ronnie Karam: Did I do that if I was at a mansion? I thought that was great that they just had one. Or do you think she brought it from home? She definitely brought that. Look onto a mansion. I'm bringing the metal detector. That's exactly what she said. So then the butler knocks on Liz's door and he brings in some masks. And Liz is like, I'm sorry, she has masks. And she's like, okay, okay, rabbit. I want you to deliver these to the girls, okay? You'll deliver them for me because I'm planning this masquerade dinner. And we all kind of bring to life, you know, this mask. So everyone's revealing something about themselves.

51:05And it would bring us closer together. And it's like an exercise in camaraderie. Well, I'm hoping for it to be anyway.

51:15Ronnie Karam: Okay, this one's going to go to Rosie because she's wearing a big larger than life facade. All right. But what's deeper? I almost had trouble saying facade because no one knew how to say it later. It got into my head. But so she goes over each gold, each mask that she has. They're all different. And why she's giving them to the girls. So she goes through each little mask. And then the Robert guy delivers them to people. And they all get their masks. And they have to read the cards. And it's hilarious watching Alicia try to read. She's like, oh, my God. I love this. OK. Give me the message. OK.

51:52Ronnie Karam: Wear this mask to the ball, la la. where secrets rise and facades facades facades facades facalibright what is it? the cracker? I'm for crackers I'm for crackers so Alicia puts on her mask and she's like oh she's gorgeous this bitch I love it and they are coming down their masks and Ashley's is hilarious because everyone else has like masquerade masks where it's like a thing like or just really over your eyes, maybe your nose and it's like has some sort of like fancy thing. But Ashley's actually got like the mask that you wear if you are doing some druid ritual that involves ritual sacrifice. It's a full gold face mask with two little eye holes in it.

52:45Ronnie Karam: It's like, oh my God, I can't even talk on this thing. I was like, well curated, Liz. Well curated. So funny.

52:55Ronnie Karam: Oh, so they're like, God, this is like some eyes wide shut shit. What is going on here? Ashley's like, I can't breathe in here, you guys. God, what am I supposed to do? Not eat and drink?

53:08Traveller's like, you can't take it off, though. Don't take it off, Ashley. They're all for, like, Ashley having as difficult a time talking as possible. Like, I guess you just can't talk tonight, Ashley.

53:18Ronnie Karam: So funny. So Liz comes in, and she's wearing a wolf mask. and say perhaps what they see is a big bad wolf but they don't know what's behind this mask is someone who's crazy sensitive i'm not the wolf in sheep's clothing i'm actually the sheep in wolf's clothing well is it possible that liz is just a wolf and a sheep that get along really well and have a mutual understanding that they won't kill each other because i do believe that liz is like very sweet and nurturing and loving. I also do believe she will murder me. Like, I do think that she is the wolf and the sheep at the same time. Yeah, she's like Dr.

54:00Ronnie Karam: Sheeple and Mr. Wolf. Like, she'll switch it up. She'll switch it up. So they're like, wow, we love the masks. Well, I'm hoping that tonight we could shed the masks and show a little bit more of our other side. You know, the one that we're trying not to show. All right, Jojo? Well, I can go first. I know that most of you know me well, and there's definitely good and bad to me. I think I have a lot of bad comes from trauma. The trauma of having a really hot husband with big nipples, it's a lot for me to carry as someone. And also as a child, my mom sent me away to a behavioral program. And she goes, oh, I remember that.

54:41That was hard. It was hard. God, we laughed so much. when you went away. I remember we showed up that first day of school. We're like, where's Joellen? They said she's at a behavioral program. And then we looked and we saw you being put on that bus. God, we laughed so hard that day, Joellen. This must have been hard for you.

54:56Ronnie Karam: And she tells us these behavioral programs, they were for really bad kids, you know, like children convicts and arsonists and stabbers. Okay, like I don't feel like my behavior in high school was outrageous, but my mother's behavior to me as a child just felt like she didn't love me. I mean, just because I tried to burn down our house since they have my mother, all of a sudden they're going to put me in a program with arsonist and jabbas? It didn't make sense to me.

55:20Ronnie Karam: So Joellen is like, yeah, I don't want to be like my mom, so I'm definitely trying. I'm definitely trying. Well, do you feel like sometimes you hurt people as well, Jojo? What do you think, Jojo? She's like, well, I mean, I don't usually think I'm the one that starts it. I'm the one that continues it, okay? And that's also, I guess, a bad trait. I guess that's a bad trait, too. I mean, I just don't want to be betrayed. And when someone calls me out on something that's not true, I mean, that I'm like lying or something. I mean, what are you, my mother? Rula. So then Joellen's like, I just, I need to prove that you're wrong.

55:50And what you're saying about me is not true because I didn't do that as a kid. Like, okay. So mommy issues big time over in that corner. So then, um, yeah. What about you? Okay. Lizzie, what about you? I'm asked. What, what makes you so hard? Cause well, I think it kind of stands from having such incredible loss at a super young age. I think that I'm afraid to let anyone in because I'm afraid to lose. And this is something I don't share with anyone ever. But what people don't realize is that when I was six years old, I was in the Olympics and I lost in the shot put and it's plagued me ever since.

56:23There, I said it. I said it.

56:25Ronnie Karam: So her real thing is that her mom passed when she was very young and died when she was 15. And so she has abandonment issues. It's not that I'm big and scary. It's that I'm probably more afraid of them than they are of me. No. I don't believe that. Trust me. We're more afraid. Trust me. So then Liz is like, you know, I'm hard to get to know. I'm very tough. Why are you surprised that people are scared of you then? She's like, I'm a tough, I'm tough. I'm a tough person. I don't know why people are scared of me. I mean, just because I'm photographed with someone who's got mob connections and it's all over Twitter.

57:03Don't be scared of me. So then, so far,

57:06Ronnie Karam: no one has really revealed anything crazy, right? They're, they're already just, they're all just kind of repeating their basic pat storylines for the season so then we get to ashley and ashley gets to take off her mask finally and she goes oh boy well you know like um going on the bachelor i was just always like oh my god like i don't have a sob story what am i gonna do you have to have a sob story on the bachelor you know like i don't know what to talk about and i think that stresses me out you know because i'm always like but it will happen one day like i will have sad things happen you know like someone will die you know like that's you know it's petrifying you know like someday i'm gonna feel some kind of pain

57:50they're all just crying more than anyone about the prospect of trauma liz just goes okay

58:00I'm sorry this lady should not be on this show I think she's so funny

58:05Ronnie Karam: I think she is so funny on it I'm actually really impressed that I like her on it but I think she's really cute on it I just think that she just doesn't fit in but like this was very funny so Joellen is like Ashley's crying that she has nothing to cry about like just put the mask back on and they keep on showing this shot of Ashley at the table with this big golden mask and she's looking as a blank face on. So Rosie's like, guys, a lot of people, what they don't know about me is that I have a lot of anxiety. You know, I'm really shy in real life. You know, when I'm more bigger, like that's like for TV or Instagram stuff, you know, basically, that's what Barbara Streisand said, you know, like if you're going to be big, save it for Instagram, you know, because I just learned to pretend and I learned to be bigger and what everybody wants me to be, which is big.

58:54something i felt a lot growing up i was so used to having to just like do whatever my mom said all the time and make her happy and you don't want to upset her you just do it and just make everyone happy and so i'm still kind of like i feel selfish choosing myself sometimes so i'm like working on it you know someday i'm just going to be super selfish and you guys are going to be like whoa you took it too far and kelsey asked well don't you think people want to see a genuine

59:18Ronnie Karam: self and she's like well once i get comfortable i'll open up you know so it's just different So now Kelsey, Kelsey's like, I have a tough exterior when it comes to my relationship. That's the only thing I'm like mega sensitive with. Yeah. So I'm hanging in there though. Alicia goes, Kelsey, not to bring it up, but how are you doing after your breakup? Cause like you're poor now. I'm like, you're homeless. What's that like? Yeah, I'm hanging in there. It's for the best though. I mean at the end of the day there was like a standstill with my ex and it like lasted 10 years and it's just like how many more years am I going to do the same thing right?

59:56She cries she can cry. You should probably cry right now because no one feels bad for you. Cry, cry go do a little cry. And Rosie's like oh I actually had no idea that Kelsey broke up with her sugar daddy. Last I heard she was seeing numerous people and then we see nice little shitty moment and And basically we see like Kelsey saying, like I'm dating, I'm dating Bill, whatever. So Rosie says, she's already been, she's already been bringing the new boyfriend around. So why should I be surprised that she's not with the old boyfriend anymore? Like it's very confusing this whole relationship or relationships, I should say.

1:00:32Ronnie Karam: So Joellen's like, well, how's Bill different from your ex? She goes, well, like he cares, he listens, he's broke. And have you thought about marriage with him or anything? She's like, yeah, I mean, he's definitely marriage material. you know we have a good relationship i still have a good relationship with my ex too you know there's a lot of things that connect us like he still pays for things like oh yeah like he pays my health insurance and my car insurance and like what else let me think about yeah i'm gonna get a place of my own and he's gonna pay for that too you know and uh you know just just till i get on my feet, you know?

1:01:10Yeah. Um, yeah. Nice work. If you can get it, damn nice work. If you can get it, but also learn some lessons from the case of the curious case of Lisa and Lenny Hoxstein. So Kelsey is saying like, I'm, you know, I'm taking what I'm entitled to. It has nothing to do with being independent or still being on his nipple. Like he said, whatever I can do to help you, I will. And if I was actually married to him for 10 years, I'd be walking away with like a lot more like this i don't he obviously is helping her but i think this is going to dry up a lot sooner than she thinks it will and i don't think she'll be ready for when that moment happens

1:01:49Ronnie Karam: yeah so alicia's like but then well why does he do it because he loves you she's like it's the least he can do i mean god i've been sitting in his house doing nothing for 10 years he owes me he owes me for using his money so kelsey's like i mean leaving after 10 years you get nothing he's like i'll pay for your apartment i mean it's like a divorce you guys it's like a divorce okay so there rosie goes he still pays all your bills now he's like a real sugar daddy before she could at least pretend he was her boyfriend um so alicia it's time for her to share and she goes well i guess i've seen real dark things that no kid should have seen like what kind of dark things she's like yeah just think that like my life was not easy and like from what i remember my father left us homeless and i had moved a lot like you were homeless it's like liz is like you were never homeless like no yeah no he did he sold my house and he left he took my mom and a child and he took my home as a child and liz is like that's a stretch okay you're never homeless babe you have a big beautiful family no one will ever allow you to be homeless you kind of went with your grandparents for a little while Outwoods was a very nice place, by the way.

1:03:05Ronnie Karam: And am I trying to protect her from coming off as privilege? Yes. Yes, I am. Yes. Yeah, because she's like, yeah. Alicia's like, you know, I think that Liz is trying to protect, like, my family. But don't diminish what I've been through. Because, like, when I first moved to my grandparents, I was, like, excited. Because I was like, oh, my God, I got to be with my grandparents. But then I was like, oh, my God, like, when do I get to go home? And it's like, what happened in my bedroom? Because I had a beautiful car bed. It was a Corvette. So in my mind we had no home I used to have a Corvette And the dolls were driving it It was amazing We had tea parties in the Corvette And now where is it?

1:03:39It's gone

1:03:41Ronnie Karam: I'm like the first homeless person You probably ever heard of Who dreamed of sleeping in a car

1:03:49My Corvette was the best Corvette In Rhode Island I swear to God So

1:03:52Ronnie Karam: I will not listen to you say That you were homeless, Alicia Come on, Alicia Homeless, not homeless So she goes Alicia, take off your mask. Your face is too beautiful. Your housed face is too beautiful. Take off your mask, honey. Ashley, keep yours on. Keep yours on, Ashley. So then... Ashley, keep yours on. And actually, someone throw a napkin over Ashley's head while we're at it. I don't want to see... I don't want to see... I'm sorry. I don't want to see this pop through her little holes. I'm just thinking that, like, I really like my bed. Okay, I've got, like, a really nice Casper mattress.

1:04:30And what would happen if I lost it someday? It's just like a lot to take on and to think about. What if someone took my bed? That could happen.

1:04:37Ronnie Karam: It's funny. So she thanks them all for coming. And Kelsey goes, yeah, Rosie, I think that was the first genuine thing that came out of your mouth. And I'm saying that in a nice way, not a mean way. How is that a nice way? It's not nice at all. So rude. it was like if you if you want if you really meant that you would say rosie i really appreciate you sharing i know things have been rocky but i felt like you were being really genuine there in a way that i just really appreciated and thank you thank you for sharing that like if not like that was the first genuine thing that's ever come out of your mouth that means that in a nice way congratulations you fake slut so um rosie goes okay she says yeah i actually felt for a second that you were telling the truth okay another slam and rosie's like um what have i not told the truth about just yeah i'm trying to give you a compliment god and then everybody else at the table she goes yeah i'm trying to convey to her like you haven't been honest like and now i feel like you are in this moment so joanne was like come on she's giving you a compliment and you were like right on the defensive so she's like you know she's like hey i thought you were being genuine you say thank you to that god this is where i started to turn because this whole episode i'm like rosie stopping such a victim the reason people don't like you is because you're saying things that's pissing them off but then i saw this and i was like oh no they're all gonna jump on rosie no matter what because what that girl just said was rude stop gaslighting yeah well i think what they that yeah i agree this was um like there was nothing nice about what kelsey said it was mean and um you know kelsey's issue she has two issues one is that rosie is claiming that their house is going to be like getting another 10 000 square feet of space and you know kelsey's like and it's not i've seen it's 5 000 or something like that but i think the real issue is that the rumors swirling around rosie like or that she had sex with had an affair with this basketball coach from like the university of providence or something and so people like she did she did i think that's what's fueling this.

1:06:43It's like, she's a liar. She's pretending like everything's fine. And then there was a thing about the newsroom. She said she left because of colitis. No, she left because she had sex with the boss. So they all just, I think, they feel like she just has been sleeping right at the top or something but they're not really saying it. So they're just like taking their shots at her in this way. They just do not like this girl.

1:07:02Ronnie Karam: That's for sure. Yeah, for all those reasons. They just do not like her and so they're going to jump on Kelsey's side. But to pretend that she wasn't just totally rude is crazy. so ashley's like um yeah but like her saying that's refreshing like would insinuate that she's never been honest right did i miss something in what she just said rosie's like okay yeah i'm i appreciate it and i'm glad you feel that way joan goes oh wow that's fucking backhanded that was fucking backhanded right but this is the thing that's backhanded that's crazy oh my god so liz is like oh we got so close so close to having a good meal so kelly's kelsey tells us being in the pageant world i know a bullshitter when i see one and there's a lot of fake girls you know around here talking about me i'm like um okay ma 'am so we see all these flashbacks of the reason she does not like rosie and kelsey's like and i just can't keep up with her ever-changing personalities i mean who is rosemary exactly well you know what i think you guys aren't really giving rosie enough grace because there's like a little bit of sass in this air i think wasn't there and joe's like actually i think the sass came from rosie rosie has done nothing but stay calm what are you doing rosie did not give any sass here okay and ashley's like i mean she got a crazy backhanded compliment i mean what would happen if i got one it's just too hard to think about um i mean it makes it seem like she's never been genuine before i mean like she's always been lying do you guys think she's always been lying and kelsey says that's how i felt she's like well Rosie has mentioned that she would like for me to stick up for her more.

1:08:38Ronnie Karam: So I'm choosing right now to do it. Kelsey's reaction to Rosie was such a blatant backhanded compliment that even I felt uncomfortable, felt comfortable being like, excuse me, that wasn't fully nice. Like I actually did something scary. Oh my God, that was so scary. So Kelsey, there was an ingenuous that I felt. Oh my God, Kelsey. There's an ingenuous and ingenuous. what we'll never know but but she felt it went to college ladies and gentlemen college graduate i know kelsey well she didn't say graduate she didn't say graduate this is not a great um endorsement for uh the sugar baby lifestyle there was an ingenuous i felt it was an ingenuous so rosie goes well i'm sorry if you feel i'm not a genuine or that i lie or anything you know being a big on-air personality with a former Saturday afternoon lifestyle show on a local Rhode Island station.

1:09:37Sometimes I don't have the time to pour myself into all the cups that I need to. And so if your cup isn't feeling filled by my personality, I apologize.

1:09:46Ronnie Karam: All right, all right. We get it, we get it. You know what? What's it called when the horse is dead? What's it called when the horse is dead? What is it? The horse is dead. Beating the ingenuine horse dead. Yeah. Be needed and genuine. Okay, well, I want to thank you for coming to my little masquerade dinner. Thank you for being open and shedding the masks. And whatever we do tonight, have fun in the castle. And let's reconvene in the morning. Okay, everybody. So they get to go to their rooms. And Rosie is saying to Ashley, like, what did I do that was so offensive? My God, that wasn't nice what she said.

1:10:22Ronnie Karam: Like, I just said, what did I lie about? Ashley's like, I don't know. and then Kelsey is in the hallway and she goes, wait, I feel like I hear Rosie talking. Let's go listen. So she goes and listens in and Ashley's like, meanwhile, somewhere in Charleston, Emmy's like, I feel uncomfortable. So Ashley is like, that made it seem like, you know, it wasn't a backhanded compliment at all. Like since she basically was alluding to the fact that you've never said anything honest. And Rosie's like, also like, when the fuck did me and Kelsey have long conversations? Like what the hell? so Kelsey's listening like her ears literally up against the door and she's like oh my god she had all this time at dinner to say it to my face but now she waits to dinner with she waits to go to a room with Ashley to start talking shit she don't have the balls to say it to me she soaks like a slinky that's why I stopped playing with those toys uh you know I'd send them down the stairs and I'd be like one step after another and then I was like you know what I like that you can go down the stairs slinky but like when you get to the bottom why are you always sulking i have to throw oh this girl is such a ding dong so um rosie is like yeah i mean she accused me of talking shit about her at the picnic and rosie just comes in she's like what's going on and they're like oh just getting changed well we're just talking you know because i feel like you were saying before it was like a backhanded compliment to her and i felt bad because then everybody snapped at her she's no it wasn't backhanded like i felt like you're not being honest so wait be specific what is she lying about she's like well her house the issues with your job you got fired you said you left her mental health because i left her mental health because i got colitis and rose is like i don't know what you want me to do about that why are you so upset with me for rumors that have nothing to do with you like oh you got fired from your job i went on medical leave because i couldn't stop bleeding out of my butt why would i say that when i could say that i got fired like what so kelsey's like well she makes shit up and when you meet someone you exaggerate things like yeah me and rich are building an 8 000 square foot house i could just blurt stupid shit out oh my gosh who cares and ashley goes i have no idea what they would care about the square footage or the honesty of the square footage of a house like i've never talked to my friends about square footage that's so weird but then i think like what if i did and then like someone didn't believe my square footage it's just like it's devastating to think about it could be devastating in the future and rosie's like we're adding 5 000 square feet the current house is 1500 and when we finish the garage into a gym and she goes uh-uh it's not it's a thousand it's a thousand square feet i know your garage plans so what are you looking at her fucking floor plans for her garage kelsey weirdo why are you so obsessed i mean yes we see the footprint of the extension but like i don't why is she obsessed about this?

1:13:17I think she feels insecure. I think she feels like, like Rosie and I are the young ones on this cast. And I don't have anything to my name. And especially if the rumors are true that, uh, she was already broken up with her sugar daddy before the season even began. She knows she has nothing. She knows she's going to have nothing. And then she sees this person who has shaded her for being in this like modern relationship. And she's building a house. She's like, oh yeah, well, fuck you. You have a small foundation for what's supposed to be a large foundation, you know? And I heard you cheated.

1:13:54Ronnie Karam: Yeah, I guess. You know, I really don't like when people, like when you're young and it's like, mom, so-and-so was mean to me. And your mom's like, she was just jealous. I don't like that excuse. Oh, they're just jealous of you. But in this case, I'm like, oh yeah, I think this is where that comes from. Cause I think you're right. I think she's she's just gel she feels threatened like she's leaving a mansion this girl's boyfriend is building her a mansion you know she's she's has to start working she has no skills this lady i mean she works one day at a week at a news station but still she's doing stuff you know so yeah i think she's threatened she's threatened i think you're right so um ashley's like i mean the way that uh kelsey's delivering this accusation it's like she's so certain i'm like where's your garage floor plan proof bitch.

1:14:43Kelsey's like, well, where there's smoke, there's fire. And Rosie goes, well, just because the answer isn't what you want doesn't mean it's not true. You can believe whatever you want. And I'm cool with that. She goes, you know what? This is another act of Rosie. This is like the calm Rosie. She's always telling the truth, but I'm not buying one word that comes out of her mouth. Nope. Cause I'm Kelsey and I'm very smart and I can always tell a disingenuine when I see one.

1:15:14Ronnie Karam: So Rosie's like, well, why do you care? I don't care. Well, it seems like you fucking care. I mean, I think you just didn't want to like me and that's okay. She goes, well, I don't think that you want to like me neither, so I'm good with this. You know what, Kelsey, you just want to discredit everything about me. You're attacking my house. You don't have a house. You're attacking my relationship, my husband. You don't have a husband. you're attacking my career you've had one for about like a year maybe it's a lot easier to project things onto me than to possibly be a target of everyone talking about what's really going on in your life so shut the fuck up yeah well thanks for coming to visit us that's the door over there she goes good night she just leaves and by the way joe ellen has followed her in and it's like standing behind her like yeah yeah what kelsey said and then when kelsey leaves joe ellen follows her out like yeah i'm sticking with my girl you're yeah you're on the I'm scared of me.

1:16:03I went to behavioral camp. I was around arsonists and stabbers.

1:16:07Ronnie Karam: I was an innocent person convicted in behavioral camp. You better watch your ass. I got hard, real hard. Be careful. All right. Well, that was funny. And the trip will continue next week. Thanks, everyone, for being here. Catch us on Crappy Hour if it's not too late. And we will see you on the next episode. Bye. Bye. Watch what crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors Ain't no thing like Alison King Our way is the Amber way It's the Foster and the Furious It's Amanda Foster Whip up a meringue, it's Amanda E. Lemon It's Always Automatic with Ashley Otto Put your hands together for Carly Clapp Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniela Etchles We never miss her call, it's Diane Call Sunday in the Park with Dylan Clark Big yay, it's Emily Gauthier Erin McNicholas, she don't miss no trick-a-less You'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones I go, you go, we all go for Hugo Jamie, she has no less name-y Sip some scotch with Jessica Trotch She's not a McBee, she's a McBride Jess McBride She's our favorite streamer, Caroline Peacock Kristen the Piston Anderson Que sera, sera, whatever we'll be Will Lauren Sills be She gets an A from us, it's Lindsay D Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino Fresh as a daisy It's Maisie McHenry Aren't you glad it's Marianne Arns?

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