#3387 RHOA S17E09 Part One: Sasquatch What Happens

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1:26Ben Mandelker: I've been spread there so much that crappens.

1:56Ronnie Karam: We're in ACAST Studios today in New York City.

1:59Ben Mandelker: New York City. Look, if you're watching with Crappens on Demand, which you should be watching, patreon.com slash watch for Crappens, you can actually see that they made us custom microphone box things, you know, which is really cool. And there's like a backdrop. It's just blue, but it's nice. And we've got like, there's fake plants. It's like the real deal.

2:19Ronnie Karam: More importantly, we're both wearing pants today. More importantly. Yeah, you got to leave the house. You put on some pants.

2:24Ben Mandelker: Yeah, exactly. Look, there's tchotchkes. We've got Danny Pellegrino's book, Giggly Squad. It's all very exciting. There's a Polaroid camera. It's like a very exciting time for us right now. Today we are recapping Real Housewives of Atlanta. Before we get into that, we are putting on a cabaret. That's why we are here in New York City right now recording together. Our first show is Wednesday night. Our second and third shows are both on Friday night. Tickets are sold out, but you can stream the show. go to watchforcraftpens.com or use the link on our socials and you can buy your streaming tickets right up to showtime which is going to be 7 o 'clock on Wednesday can the Friday people still buy their streaming tickets up till Friday do you know?

3:08Ronnie Karam: yeah you can buy all the tickets up until the showtime for that show

3:13Ben Mandelker: but then after that you can't buy those tickets however you can watch the replay for the following week so we've been here rehearsing We've been doing real deal rehearsals.

3:23Ronnie Karam: That's crazy. We're rehearsing at AMDA, which is from Fame.

3:26Ben Mandelker: Are they from Fame? I think so. American Music and Dance Academy, I think is what it's called.

3:30Ronnie Karam: Isn't that what Fame was based off of?

3:32Ben Mandelker: I've never seen Fame. Oh, my God.

3:34Ronnie Karam: I'm learning so much about you this week. Dom was in the new Fame, and I still haven't seen it. I'm learning so much about your gayhood this week. So we're doing some stuff from Chorus Line. Ben, never seen a Chorus Line. What kind of gay is that? He was like, how do you do a kick line?

3:48Ben Mandelker: I can't do a kick line.

3:49Ronnie Karam: And I told him, I said, gay people learn this when we're children because we all watch Chorus Line and do the kick lines in our house. And he's like, but I didn't watch that. What did you do? You didn't watch Laverne and Shirley. That was from last week.

4:01Ben Mandelker: But that was, yeah, but you know, like we didn't have it on reception. Like we had. That was local TV though. That wasn't cable. No, I'm saying it was like on channel, the reruns were like on channel nine and we didn't get channel nine in. So I literally couldn't watch it.

4:13Ronnie Karam: So there was that, there was Chorus Line. What was the other gay thing that you had this week? I have a lot of gay emotions. Oh, this new one. What'd you just tell me right now? You've never seen something. You just said it right now. Right now?

4:24Ben Mandelker: I don't know what I just said. You come on. We're talking about it right now.

4:28Ronnie Karam: Did you hear what he said? Oh, Fame. Fame.

4:31Ben Mandelker: Fame, yeah. Actually, that's a lie. I remember there was a Fame TV show, and I remember watching that when I was a kid and loving it.

4:37Ronnie Karam: Yeah.

4:38Ben Mandelker: But I never saw the original movie. I never saw the remake. Again, Dom is in it, and I still haven't seen it. but I yeah but the kick I always thought I could do a kick line because you know you sort of like joke around doing them but when you actually have to do it to music it's so hard and I was in my hotel room last night trying to do a kick line there's of course no room I'm just sitting there kicking a mattress because there's no room for my leg to go out but like getting the knee to come up and then come down and the leg to come up and all doing that one two three four I couldn't do it I don't know chorus line is like a nightmare for me I'm like well honestly doing anything to music.

5:16Ben Mandelker: Honestly. So everyone, come to our cabaret. You're right to see us. Does anyone want to see me just kick in a sporadic pattern? You will see that. One thing I've asked myself

5:27Ronnie Karam: multiple times over the past few days is, why did we... And it went pretty much like that. I thought it was a questioning.

5:37Ben Mandelker: Yeah, it's like Chorus Line. All my experiences with Chorus Line, so I watched it for the first time, the movie for the first time about a month ago in preparation for this because we were going to be doing a big chorus line situation. And so I watched the movie and I was like, I hated the movie. And now I'm traumatized. Well, that's gay.

5:54Ronnie Karam: That's gay. All the gays hated the movie.

5:57Ben Mandelker: Straight people were like, I loved it.

5:59Ronnie Karam: I mean, I loved it because I was a kid, so I thought it was just so cool. People were singing. I loved it. Yeah. But yeah, gay people notoriously hate chorus line. If you ever want to give someone a softie, when you're about to have sex with a gay guy, I'd just be like, I love the Chorus Line movie. I just, I am just like,

6:16Ben Mandelker: I feel like I'm just incurring Chorus Line trauma every day. And I'm just, I don't, I don't think I'm going to be able to like get on board with Chorus Line. But that being said. It's okay.

6:28Ronnie Karam: It's over. It got canceled.

6:30Ben Mandelker: Actually, that's a lie. I'm sure I'm going to like, what's going to happen is next week I'll be like, Ronnie, oh my God, I can't stop singing Chorus Line. I mean, I know it's going to happen. I'm just, I'm huffy at the moment. What can I say?

6:41Ronnie Karam: So anyway, we're doing that. And then last week was a holiday Monday, so we did not cover Atlanta or this other one. Rhode Island. Yeah. And those were actually two really good episodes. So let's just go through. Well, yeah, I was going to say Atlanta. We're both doing this to each other.

6:58Ben Mandelker: We're doing jazz hands to each other. Mine was just like a - I'm like, so. I just went like this. No, you went like this. You were like, so. Well, we are, before we dive into this week's episode, let's do a high-level reminder of what happened last week. Actually, not a lot happened last week until we got to the... I disagree. What did you say? I disagree.

7:18Ronnie Karam: You disagree? I mean, so much happened last week. Okay. Please. Yeah, so much happened. First of all, Sumi only has one male embryo. And I feel bad for the girl embryos. I hate when people say shit like that. I feel like I'm reading a book from, I don't know, I just read this whole Rome series. For months, I've been reading this thing. and like the obsession with having a boy it just makes me crazy it's like we're 2026 like but we have to have a boy no you don't what are you going to carry on the air conditioning legacy it has to be a boy like a girl can run your air conditioning legacy you don't need another penis in that house i'm so fucking sick of people you know what about all those other embryos like give them a chance maybe you have a little chorus line star in there and you're just flushing it down the toilet embryo kick line what if the penis is going to be a serial killer i'm just so sick of hearing it from people Just fucking be lucky to have a baby.

8:12Ronnie Karam: You know, you're sitting here crying over having a baby. Feel grateful that you have the money to do this and just have your fucking baby. I'm so sick of it.

8:19Ben Mandelker: I know. I think it's like I'm kind of I don't know. There's something about watching these people on TV who are just kind of trying to curate this like perfect ratio of like types of babies. I might just have a baby. Just have a baby. And how whatever however your baby turns out is how it turns out. You'll love them as much no matter what. and it's like the fact that we have to sit there and like sit front row and watch people decide like well yes we have the kids but we want our plan was to have this number and this number and we're trying to have this now we can't get that number I don't know I don't have a huge amount of like sympathy, give a fuck at this I have sympathy because I think if you're trying to start a family that's a very serious thing and you have hopes and dreams attached to it

9:06Ronnie Karam: but they have a family start at these two

9:08Ben Mandelker: I know, I know. And it's just like, I feel like it's a little, like, I don't know. I feel like it's ungrateful.

9:14Ronnie Karam: And also we're in 2026.

9:16Ben Mandelker: I think that if you have your eggs and you have embryos, I do understand the investment that you've sort of like, there's a literal part of yourself that's out there that you now want to see flourish. Like you've already attached stuff to it. I get it. But I don't know. I'm sort of sick of watching on real, on like any reality show. So like the not like in vitro fine, but like or or for or what do you call it? When someone else carries the baby.

9:43Ronnie Karam: Oh, surrogacy. Surrogacy. Fine.

9:45Ben Mandelker: But it's like the but we wanted we wanted to have three boys and three girls. I'm like, OK, can we do we have to like I don't know. I just I'm over. I'm over.

9:56Ronnie Karam: Look, I think we're in 2026. You're going to have that baby. and God knows what it's going to be anyway because you could have a baby born as a boy and then a few years later, they're like, I was born in the wrong body. And that's like a real thing that happens all the time. So you can't even tell anymore. So what are you going to do? I think it's more important than worrying about the sex of your baby. Worry about if that baby's ugly. Can we get like future scans? I mean, get the DNA.

10:20Ben Mandelker: I'd be like, which one of these embryos is hot?

10:23Ronnie Karam: Yes, get the DNA of this baby, have a future scan made of this baby and be like, I'm not going to have an ugly baby because that's going to be harder for the baby. You know what I mean? But, you know, having this boy-girl thing, I just can't with Shamia. Shamia is so annoying to me. So she has this. Also, blaming the surrogate. I didn't like that either. Like, her surrogate, one of her surrogates didn't carry to turn, you know, didn't, what do they call it? It didn't come to fruition. I'm so sorry. I'm like a gay guy who's never done this.

10:53Ben Mandelker: Da-da-da-da, da-da-da-da.

10:55Ronnie Karam: Yeah. But, you know, like, it didn't take. the pregnancy didn't take and so she fired the surrogate and got another i'm like what are you blaming her for it's like a natural thing i don't know the whole thing is really bothering me and i have no no stake in this game because i'm not having a baby never gonna have a baby never had a baby so i get that i don't know what the fuck i'm talking about but watching it is annoying and then shamiya's other thing was that she gerald who shocker that gerald is like this i'm not shocked at all that gerald is like this because he has that attitude of like go go do your stupid woman's show on tv i'm not going to do that but that he doesn't want her to be in in her glamorous acting career which by the way shamiya you don't have you're not meryl streep calm down i know but she's like oh i have to quit my acting career because gerald doesn't want me kissing other men in my in my career so i might have to quit acting like were you in acting i know i'm about to say

11:48Ben Mandelker: Who are you kissing?

11:50Ronnie Karam: You've been in acting for five minutes and I quit your acting already.

11:54Ben Mandelker: So come on. I know Shamia really does. She keeps on, you know, talking about her singing and acting career. Well, acting is, I think a better path for her than singing because last season, having to watch her try to be a pop star. And I'm like, I hate to be like this, but you're too old. Right. Like, unfortunately that's the end. Yeah. How dare you? Yeah. I think so. Like, I mean, the industry is not my, it's not me. Look, I'm a Carly Rae Jepsen fan. Okay. she's 35 and they might as well treat her like she's cloris leachman the the ghost of so you know unfortunately that's like the record industry that's not me you know and so shamiya trying to to become like a pop star when she doesn't like she just it's like i feel like it's too late for that i think the only person that would really agree with that is adele who like retired when

12:36Ronnie Karam: she was she was like i'm 30 bye what else do you want me to write about rich i'm fabulous i'm thin

12:41Ben Mandelker: like what do you want do you know how much shit i'm about to get for saying like for dismissing Shamia's singing career while also saying I'm a Carly Rae Jepsen fan. It's not that I'm saying that she's, I'm not saying that Shamia's untalented. I'm just saying the industry is harsh and cruel and if you're like over 23, it's, I think, really hard to break through and so Shamia trying to sort of have this, like, this breakthrough moment I think is going to be really, really hard for her is what I'm saying and so to have to watch her sort of do this and then she's obviously dropped it this season and now she's on to acting which I think acting is the better path for her but I agree with you.

13:14Ben Mandelker: She's acting like she's ridiculous you know like she's in the hours part two and it's like you're not the hours you're

13:21Ronnie Karam: in the minutes you're in the seconds it's time for a commercial it's time for a crappin's commercial

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14:34Ronnie Karam: so um yeah portia and sway went on a date so we got our first portion sway moment believable i have to say this was believable i like sway a lot i like sway this was believable unlike portia and big mike it was a mike that she's big mike is like i can't with that guy that's not believable at all he's like here's a hundred roses and yeah he's completely he's like

14:56Ben Mandelker: yeah that guy's full of shit but sway i thought i want to hang out with sway sway seems like a I want to marry Sway. I think Sway is the best.

15:02Ronnie Karam: That's like what I'm looking for. Why is it that gay guys can find the perfect chemistry with a gay woman? That doesn't make sense, right? But that's like such a masculine energy. Like, I just love that. I love her.

15:18Ben Mandelker: I kind of feel like in many ways, lesbians are just more emotionally mature than us gay men. I don't know why it is. They just. Well, the women in general. Yeah. They just have their shit together. Like, God, I love lesbians. I do too.

15:30Ronnie Karam: You know, and people always say, like, gay guys hate lesbians. That's not true. Lesbians hate gay guys.

15:35Ben Mandelker: And, like.

15:36Ronnie Karam: And I don't blame them. Yeah.

15:37Ben Mandelker: I was about to say, have you been around us? Have you been around us? Yeah.

15:40Ronnie Karam: But it is, like, really hard to work over a lesbian as a gay guy. You really have to work hard.

15:44Ben Mandelker: Oh, but when you do it, it's so great. It is, yeah. It's so great. When you get that breakthrough, it's awesome. No, but I thought Sway was great. I like Sway. I also like Sway for Portia in a weird way. I think that like, like sway could be a good grounding force for her in a way that's not condescending the way the men always are to Portia.

16:03Ronnie Karam: Yeah. Okay. So there's that. And then what else? We got Kelly upset because her ex, she's like, I can't shoot with my children. I'm like this. I mean, you're going through so much is I think it's just that she highlighted the like, I can't shoot. She's like worrying about the casting more than her marriage. Did you get that impression at all? That's kind of how I got it. I mean, I get that it's hard. And her ex-husband is an asshole and I think abusive and horrible. He's terrible. Has protests against her with signs that he has made. Who does that? I've heard of some shitty men, but this man's the worst.

16:40Ronnie Karam: I'm not even talking about it. We know that he's shitty.

16:42Ben Mandelker: I mean, look, we just came off a whole season where Portia's whole thing was, her arc was that she finally got to shoot the show in her house. So it's very much, I think it's all tied into the ability to provide content for Bravo to stay on the show, which is like very meta. But I agree. It's not a very compelling, you know, of all the issues that this man is causing for her. Like this is not the one that I care the most about.

17:05Ronnie Karam: I think if you're going to, I think she has so much, she has so many like legit gripes about this divorce and how he's acting that I think it was just jolting for her to be like, I can't shoot with my children. I was like, that's what you're worried about? You've got so much more to worry about than putting your kids on TV. I mean, I don't even know that they should be putting any of these kids on TV. Honestly,

17:24Ben Mandelker: I'm like, okay with you not having your kids on just because I like, it's just not going to be, it would never have been compelling content for me. And quite frankly, last season when she did have an emphasis more on her children, Kelly was much more forgettable. And I'm saying, I am not saying that she's great this season, but notice that she's much more in the mix. Last season, she's just a side character. And whenever we go to her, she was like doing homework with her kids. So like, no offense. I don't really like kid content anyway on these shows. so um this guy's a dick but i'm like i'll take my blessings where i can get and also look how

17:57Ronnie Karam: expensive it is when you film with your kids i mean last season she had that birthday party for her older kid who still can film because she's from she's older and she's from a different father but right yes and she's also over 18 i think yeah but she i mean they're still expensive i mean you shot with her and then you had to buy her a designer purse for every year that she was alive i mean fuck that man get the kids out of there save yourself some money is she also not allowed

18:21Ben Mandelker: to film with her dog anymore because I swear that dog is barely getting any screen time this season.

18:25Ronnie Karam: I'm hoping that dog just finally fucking refused and was like, I'm embarrassed. You've embarrassed me. I'm out of here. Okay, so then the big thing for the episode was the sound bath party at Phaedra's. So, you know, in case you forgot, Phaedra's got a lot of jobs. She's a funeral mortician lady. She's a lawyer.

18:48Ben Mandelker: Fitness video

18:50Ronnie Karam: impresario. Donkey booty. donkey booty um uh probably criminal if you've ever read angela's book uh about her and apollo's past which i didn't read the book i did not angela stanton angela stanton um read a lot about that on reddit thanks reddit and then what else does she do she does a lot of stuff she does something importing what was she doing in dubai she went to dubai to import she does something

19:15Ben Mandelker: knew every single season and so her latest thing is that now she's a reiki healer so she had this sound bath in her home and by the way uh off topic but related uh aiden just turned 16 last week isn't that crazy yes crazy um wait but weren't we there when he was born i mean not they're there

19:36Ronnie Karam: but like as an audience as a podcaster were we there when he was born i think we were there for Mr.

19:41Ben Mandelker: President, the younger son.

19:43Ronnie Karam: She had already had a child when... No, she didn't. Is she lying about his age?

19:51Ben Mandelker: How about I look this up?

19:52Ronnie Karam: Because if we've been doing this almost 15... We're 14 and a half, but maybe we weren't recapping that back then.

19:59Ben Mandelker: I don't know. Well, the show started around 2009. So, okay, so Aiden was born in 2010, and Dylan was born in 2013. Phaedra... So Aiden was born already, because Phaedra, the show started around 2009. Phaedra, she wasn't season two, was she? She was season three, I think. She was season three. Yeah, Candy was season two. So I think that, I don't, I think Aiden was just, I don't know, I don't think. Because you know when you come from Portia, you can lie about your timeline. No, their births, plural, were prominently featured on The Real Housewives of Atlanta.

20:30Ronnie Karam: So I guess I just watched it and we didn't recap it. I don't know. But imagine telling someone they're not their age. Although that has happened to me. I thought I was a different age literally for years.

20:40Ben Mandelker: That's like our, that's by the way, that's like our job.

20:43Ronnie Karam: Yeah. I thought I was a year older than I was for like three years. Yeah. Remember? Yeah. It was so weird. Who does that? Like, I can't do the math. I thought my dog was a different age. My dog is 15. I thought he was 14.

20:57Ben Mandelker: Wow. By the way, I stand corrected. Aiden was, so Aiden was the baby that was born at like five months, right? Quote unquote five months. I thought that was, I thought that was Dylan. Okay, either way, Phaedra's a Reiki healer now. She's having a sound bath. She invites everyone over.

21:12Ronnie Karam: And a flautist.

21:13Ben Mandelker: And a flautist. So, which I don't know if she was really a flautist. It looked more like a recorder. And on top of that, it didn't really look like she was playing a melody. It was just more like she was making tones. Sort of like, you know, standard, like, hey, what everyone does when they get a recorder for the first time, which they blow and then move their fingers. And then it's like... You just make their mothers crazy. Yeah.

21:35Ronnie Karam: I wish I could have seen it in utero. if you were going to be a terrible recorder player, wouldn't add you. Poor recorder.

21:43Ben Mandelker: What?

21:44Ronnie Karam: So anyway. It's like the most disrespected instrument.

21:47Ben Mandelker: It's like not even in orchestras, right? No. It's like not even part of the... It's completely disrespected.

21:52Ronnie Karam: And you know, Fader didn't even buy that. One of the kids had it left over from school and she's like, I'm a flautist now.

21:59Ben Mandelker: So anyway, so she has the sound bath and first of all, they all come dressed nicely and they put these like big floating recliners in the pool that they're all supposed to lie on and then meditate with. Which, by the way, if I were dressed so nicely, I would just never get on one of those things because I feel like at one moment I'm tipping into that water. And Shamia's actually starts to sink, which was funny.

22:22Ronnie Karam: Yeah, her float starts to kind of sink and lose air. And then she's still this episode like, did they do this on purpose to me? No, Shamia. Stop. Just stop trying so hard. You're so annoying. I can't with this thing.

22:35Ben Mandelker: Mia constantly inserting herself, acting as if she's really annoyed while actively being the one who is reasserting the narrative that everyone's out to get her and that she caused this drama. They keep saying that I caused this riff. I didn't cause this riff. It's like, stop saying it. I don't think anyone in the audience is like, oh, wow. Look at this injustice.

22:54Ronnie Karam: She's really trying to make herself the storyline. So she was thinking, they all floated in this thing. Okay, the big part of this was they sit around and they have dinner. and Kay Michelle, God love Kay Michelle. I know she's very controversial. A lot of people have already turned on Kay Michelle. I think she is so fucking funny. She comes up with something new every week. I mean, this lady comes to work, you know? So first she was mad because Portia said, did you have a miscarriage? Okay, which tasteless, but she wasn't being mean, I don't think. But okay, you know, she had that. Maybe indelicate would be the word to use.

23:31Ronnie Karam: Maybe indelicate. Tacky. So then she gets upset because Drew says, oh, so you know Black.

23:42Ben Mandelker: Mm-hmm. Yeah.

23:44Ronnie Karam: Very upset. Very upset about it. So then she's been carrying that around. So now she's super mad. The oysters. She's saying that plotting and scheming. Don't forget the oysters. Then she adds in, Portia was making oyster slash vagina jokes. And she's like, that's about me. And I know you guys are plotting and planning. Because I've heard you're going to bring up vagina rumors from eight years ago. It's okay. So that was her latest thing. So then this week, she brings in, and I was talking to one of my exes, and it turns out he also dated Portia at one time, and she didn't tell me. I'm like, come on.

24:23Ronnie Karam: So that was last week. And then this week, she added something this week, too. What was it this week?

24:28Ben Mandelker: Well, we'll find out. But it's, yeah, I agree. Every week, there's a new thing. And there's also this thing where she was upset that Portia confronted Kelly because it gave mean girl energy. I mean, this is someone who's been so deeply traumatized truly from being on other reality shows that she is looking. She's trying to preemptively get in front of every single thing that comes to her. And she's actually creating drama that's not there. And it's like to me, it's like really funny. Every single week, there's something else where it's like, what is K. Michelle thinking? But she's so funny. And her comebacks are so good.

25:01Ben Mandelker: So she starts, after they meditate, they have Portia, they're going to clear the air. And so Kay Michelle is talking about her issues with Portia and how she feels. And somehow in this discussion, like Drew gets in it. She sort of gives, I forget exactly what she says. She sort of makes an offhanded remark about Drew. It's kind of like dissing Drew, which is always so funny. Like I always think when people do that to Drew, it's like one of my favorite things to watch on Atlanta. And so she does it. And then she and Drew start getting into it. And like my favorite line of the entire thing, Drew's getting really upset.

25:37Ben Mandelker: She goes, I mean, who are you? Come in here. You know my whole resume. And she goes, you don't have one. It was easy. Oh, my God. I rewound that five times. Just how quick it was. You don't have one. It was easy.

25:54Ronnie Karam: Oh, it was great. So then it turns into Kelly. Kelly's like, I'm so depressed. I don't even want to go to this party. I'm not going to speak to anyone. I'm not going to put on any makeup. I'm just going to sit there. I'm very upset. She comes out, right, you know, as fast as she can to get Portia and starts, her and Portia start squabbling and getting into it. And, you know, they're both ho-shaming each other for sleeping with married men. I don't care if you sleep with married men. I blame the married man. Okay? 100%. Fuck your married men. And then Kelly's like, Portia has slept with every Nigerian in Atlanta.

26:29Ronnie Karam: so then they fight about that and it was pretty good Portia starts yelling that she is not going to say who the man Kelly slept with but he is a pastor and he is a client at Phaedra's and then we learned today that he is Nigerian so I feel like we've got a lot of

26:47Ben Mandelker: little clues in a video game when you're trying to figure out a puzzle and then every now and then the video game is like why don't you try looking on the left side you're like oh thanks video game And it's like, we're getting like little, little. An MPC, Shamia, is like, maybe you look on the left side.

27:03Ronnie Karam: Did they deflate this raft on purpose just to get at me? I hope my, my baby will be a male.

27:10Ben Mandelker: By the way, while this whole fight was going on, like Pinky and Phaedra in the corner being like, oh, this food's really delicious. Yeah, this is great. What I was going to say about this, I don't remember what I was going to say. but what was very funny to me was Kelly starts acting up and she starts going at Portia and the moment Kelly picks up a wine glass and she just sort of puts it forward, maybe starts moving it towards Portia's face. It was like the moment she did that, out of nowhere, three security people come. I was like, they are trained. They know. They're ready. They immediately were like, oh yeah, we're not waiting for this.

27:48Ben Mandelker: We are anticipating. so uh yeah that was i i kind of thought honestly last week's episode was a little dull until it got to that sound bath and then the sound bath just like i mean i'm just like cracking up i thought it was so good i mean i feel like that's kind of been not the general story of the season but i feel like every episode this season has either been like really really good or it's been a little slow but then has ended on a on like a really high note and so like i think this has been like a really like probably their strongest season in years yeah i think it's been really strong too

28:19Ronnie Karam: and I think they're all super enjoyable.

28:21Ben Mandelker: Yeah, the cast chemistry is really, really fun. Like, I'm really enjoying it. Like, Shamia is very annoying to me this season and I liked her a lot last season. She's very annoying to me this season but I love her role in this. I like that there's an annoying person who's like, what about me? Ugh, you know, like, you need to have these people.

28:37Ronnie Karam: I'm enjoying her more on the show because now she's pissed that everybody doesn't like her. Yeah. And I think that really works. That kind of energy really works for her. I didn't like it when they were all acting like, oh, Shamia's the new lead of Atlanta. Yeah. And she was walking around like, I'm the star of Atlanta now. It's me, Shamia. I've been working at this for years and finally I'm the star. And I was like, shut up. But now that she's on the outs and she's like, why does everybody not like me? I love it.

29:04Ben Mandelker: I think it's such a funny energy. Yeah, I think the energy is really super strong right now. And I think, when people annoy me on shows, it doesn't mean that I necessarily don't like them for the show. It just means that they're annoying me. But, like, you need to have people that annoy you. Yeah, yeah, of course. You know?

29:23Ronnie Karam: You can't play whack-a-mole without moles popping up. That's a great point. So we pick up where we left off. Kelly is yelling and, you know, screaming at Portia. They're yelling at each other, and she's being pulled into the house. And Shamia and Pinky are trying to talk her down, you know, so we split into the teams, where Shamia, Kay, and Pinky are one team, and everybody else is the other team. and Portia's in the house screaming at the top of the steps. Everybody knows that man knows you had sex with and yes, he was married and you were lying on me last year so I licked your ass back and you made it.

29:56You're mad about it.

29:58Ronnie Karam: Okay, but Portia, to be fair, we all saw your relationship with Simon. You went to that man's house when he was married to that girl, Phelan, which I still love. Phelan. Phelan. Thought I loved it. It's kind of Phelan. She'll one C's her name, Phelan. So with Phelan, we saw you take that man we i mean we saw it i mean they say you can't steal a man yes you can yes you can see see some of these schlubby men walking around and they get any other option it's like you can't steal a man okay well you can't put a man on a bus sure but the bus stops and the man's like i need to get somewhere i'm getting on the bus i'm shocked they really have

30:35Ben Mandelker: not had fallon back because like this is such a thing and like i feel like my lasting memory of Fallon is her I think she was dressed as Medusa in Halloween and she came like running out with a golf club and chasing someone and like that's all I think about is like she had like scales on

30:50Ronnie Karam: was it Kenya that she was fighting and Kenya was dressed as a Native American so they had to cut it all out

30:56Ben Mandelker: we'll never see the episode again because Kenya made a national controversy deservedly so but like that's all I think of this poor girl who went on TV dressed up like Medusa chased someone around with a golf club and then lost her husband you know what I remember the most Well, I think she was also doing something on the side, right?

31:11Ronnie Karam: You know what I remember the most about Phelan was after the show. So she gets this thing, this big thing with Simon where she's like, Simon's a piece of crap or whatever. And then Simon came out with his own videos. He's like, she was cheating on me with a pool boy. And then Phelan had like one of those sit down interviews on YouTube with somebody. And they made like a huge set, like an all white set with these curtains. And it's like this very glamorous interview for Phelan to like come out about banging the pool boy or something. I was like, this is so good. How did they not continue that?

31:41Ben Mandelker: Yeah, especially because it's just, you'd think with Portia there, I'm surprised they haven't had like a sit down to be like the jilted exes of Simon and we come together and we realize that like we shouldn't be at each other's throats. But I'm sure Portia is like, nope.

31:56Ronnie Karam: Well, I think even as jilted exes, you're going to both be at each other's throat because you're, no one's dating Simon because he's like hot and charming. You know, they're dating Simon because he's rich as fuck. So you're going to be fighting over the spoils. Yeah. You know? Yeah, exactly.

32:10Ben Mandelker: um so yeah so portia is you know she's going off and kelly's like i've been played with enough play with someone else because when they go low i go to the depths of hell and she's like yeah you went to hell baby you went to hell she's i don't have time so now portia's out front now and she's like you know when she's popping off for a while and not you know when i'm talking to kelly and i'm yelling my ear and i like picking a glass in my face just like too much and angela's like i mean every night you're in atlanta i mean she must have gotten that from somewhere where's

32:40Ronnie Karam: that oh they've been saying that to each other for years remember that used to wasn't that a porsche versus phadra thing when they were accusing each other of or no it was uh kenya kenya and porsche were like shaming each other for dating africans there was always like this like there's

32:57Ben Mandelker: always like nameless like african rich african men yes they're all like dating these like

33:03Ronnie Karam: billionaire African men. So Angela, she got it from watching the show. And Portia's like, well, that Nigerian she just fucked once she got off that plane. That was a married man, and she's mad. And Angela's like, oh, pastor! Who are these pastors? They get away with a lot in Atlanta, I feel like, the pastors. Of course, yeah. They get away with a lot everywhere, honestly. I'm about to say, pastors, people at the club. Seriously, the pastors on this show, I feel like, have Lamborghinis and mansions. I mean, never forget Prophet Locke. Exactly. Lot. Lot. Prophet Lot.

33:39Ben Mandelker: Yeah. Prophet Lot. Oh, I'll never forget Prophet Lot. He was one of the greatest late season plot twists. That was such the second to last episode, and then turned everything into, like, what about this unseen person who has not been part of the show the entire time? Prophet Lot. Prophet Lot. So Kelly is like, I don't want to tell you what I went through this week. You think I'm going to give you my pain for you bitches to laugh at? Absolutely not. Guess what you're not going to do? What I'm going to do? I'm going to chest up, bitch, nipples out, and get the fuck out of here. Okay, Kelly's saying she doesn't want to tell us about what she went through this last week.

34:15Ben Mandelker: It's a lie, because all you do is tell us. What you do is you sit at a table somewhere with a Diet Coke and mournfully talk about the latest thing that happened to you. You're like, I didn't get my library card. It's like, you know you're going to tell us about it anyway. So don't act like you're not going to withhold anything.

34:29Ronnie Karam: And she wasn't laughing at your pain of your divorce. She was just accusing you of sleeping with a married man. So stop using your pain for profit.

34:38Ben Mandelker: Also, you jumped in. Kelly is the one who jumped into this whole conversation anyway.

34:43Ronnie Karam: Although, Portia did start it with her. Because they were going to start, remember, they were going to start all peaceful. That typical housewife scene where they're like, let's have tea at this really weird tea place. And then we'll be peaceful, right? But you did sleep with the married preacher. Remember that? So Portia started it. But also Portia handles it better. And she also ends it better. So she's like, yeah, chest up, bitch. Nipples out and get the fuck out of here. And Shamia goes, you got good nipples. Okay, your nipples are great.

35:13Ben Mandelker: So then outside, Portia. One thing nobody has ever said to me. Meanwhile, outside, Angela's like, so are we not going to eat? Like, yeah, let's go back to the table. Because we still want to eat food. So they're going to head back. The only housewives they actually eat. I know. Because by the end of this entire scene, it winds up being, I think, Angela, Portia, and Paige are just sitting at that table. They're still like, we're going to eat. Because they're like, oh, no, the chef's going to make to-go plates. Like, no, no, we're going to eat right now.

35:37Ronnie Karam: And Kelly left. Like, you're the poor one. Like, Kelly and Pinky are leaving. You guys are the poor ones. You need to stay and get the food.

35:44Ben Mandelker: Get the food. Pinky was like, damn. When she leaves, she's like, I didn't even get to eat anything. I was like, this happens to you every episode. There's either food that you can't eat or you just don't get to eat. Like, this woman's never going to be able to have anything to snack on. you know so Phaedra's like the devil has entered the details and I do mean Satan honey because I've got two groups of women who can't be in the same room at this point this went from meditative to mayhem

36:07Ronnie Karam: and Kelly's saying I don't want the old me to come out so I'm leaving I'm five feet tall but I will six foot seven a bitch okay alright alright Kelly's got a lot of them in rapid fire but they're all just kind of like going down you know it's like a rapid fire gun just like the missiles are just like yeah yeah but I did love when she starts getting into it with Portia again and they're going in each other's face and Kelly is just like down here waving her finger up she's like hey I'm going it's like it's like the old man on the lawn shouting to the skies

36:42Ben Mandelker: right

36:43Ronnie Karam: you know these damn kids

36:43Ben Mandelker: so Angela, Drew and Portia sit back down so Drew is part of this table thing and Drew is like you know I tried to be supportive to Kay and get to know her but she just has it out for me It's just like a lot of energy coming from her. And Angela's like, well, Kay said that she had a tough time having female friends. So I made it my business to try to get to know her. And we see that Angela and Kay Michelle went to lunch or dinner earlier. And basically Angela was like, don't worry. You'll get through this.

37:16Ronnie Karam: Here's the problem, though. We've seen now multiple instances of people going to lunch with Kay Michelle and trying to be nice with K. Michelle. And K. Michelle is always so reserved. Like, thank you so much. What is a great talk. I'm just glad to be here. You need to speak with the other K. Michelle. So it needs to be like one of those lifetime movies where somebody has multiple personalities and then they have tricks to get the others out. You know? Because you're not talking to the one that has the problem. You're talking to the calm one.

37:50Ben Mandelker: It's like the exorcists. Yeah, you need to get the peace soup out. Yeah, don't talk to the little girl.

37:55Ronnie Karam: Yeah, start reading prayers or something. Do your version of the exorcist. The power of Andy Cohen compels you. Yeah, whatever it is, you need to talk to that one. You guys are negotiating with the wrong terrorist.

38:09Ben Mandelker: Oh, I know. So now Phaedra is, I mean, Pinky's like, wow. She said, we need another sound bath at this point. And Kim Michelle's like, yeah, no one wants to disrespect your house. and I tried. I'm talking. I'm trying. I tried. You know, you know. She's like, yeah, well, it got a little spicy with Drew, though. She's like, yeah, because, you know, she's just yapping like a gnat. You know, as gnat's do, they yap. She's like, just swapping a gnat. This was my favorite part. She goes, I mean, to watch a funny face girl. You know what? I call her her face. Huh?

38:39Ronnie Karam: Huh? Huh? Which is such a good description of Drew. She's always like, what? Me? What do you mean? What do you mean? You haven't gotten any award for anything. Okay? Huh? What has it done? It just wound up with a man in the basement with no shirt and taco hairs. I love that the editor stood up for Ralph and showed a screenshot of Ralph with his blazer and no shirt on and it said, no taco hairs. So at the very least, he is waxed.

39:11Ben Mandelker: Yeah. But, yeah. And then she says, you should change your face. I mean, Kay Michelle does great, great interviews. I call her huh face. Huh? Huh?

39:25Ben Mandelker: So anyway, Kay Michelle leaves and Pinky leaves with her and, you know, et cetera. And Pinky's saying how Drew really inserted herself while Kay Michelle was trying to share what she had to say. And Pinky's like, I didn't get to have my entree.

39:41Ronnie Karam: And Phaedra's been doing this a long time. She knows to have the chef bring to-go boxes for people, and she just packs everybody's food up to go. Yeah. It's like... I know half of these people are going to leave after a fight during this, so let's make sure they get fed. Yeah. Boop, boop, boolily, beep, beep, boop, boolily, beep.

40:00Ben Mandelker: She's doing like Yankee Doodle Dandy.

40:06Ben Mandelker: Portia is like... Yeah, you know, okay, Michelle, she liked me. I've got a good heart, but she feels like she has to fight with me for whatever reason. I just don't even know why. probably because whoever told her the, what's it called, the conspiracy. Do you think it was a producer or a messy glam squad person or do you think it was a cast member?

40:25Ronnie Karam: I don't even know. I mean, it was in the blogs that day, wasn't it? Weren't people seeing, didn't they say like, let's go check Twitter? What were they even talking about? I guess she said she was pissed off on Twitter. I don't think it was in the blogs that day. I don't know. I mean, I wouldn't even be surprised if it was Drew who was like, well you know that this girl had this gossip going on about her eight years but the thing is for you to be the one to bring it on camera is just so stupid like why would you do that make yourself the victim when someone else does it you can't it's like that tom cruise movie where they they can tell the future and they know who's going to commit a crime and they go

41:07what is it where they are the report was that what it was they can see it's like the future

41:12Ronnie Karam: police and they can see who's going to commit the crime so they are arresting people before they murdered someone they're like but i didn't do it and he's like but you will do it and then he runs like this yeah it's like that like they didn't do anything you can't arrest them

41:27Ben Mandelker: screens out of your way like this and samantha morton's got to be in a fetal position somewhere um yeah it's not fair to arrest people like that that's not fair okay i used to for years and years on this show whenever something like this would happen like someone told me but they don't ever say it, they don't say their name. In my mind, I'm always like, it was a producer. It's always a producer who got into someone's ear and said, by the way, you should do this because you should be aware of this because this is what's coming down the pike. I used to always believe it was producers who were up to funny business.

41:56Ben Mandelker: But honestly, I've really shifted away from that and I've really shifted into just messy glam squad team members. I think the glam squad people are always at fault now and you just have to wait like 20 minutes until we get to Drew wrangling her messy team together

42:12Ronnie Karam: and what seemed to me like it was gonna say that's a perfect example yeah i was like in what's felt

42:18Ben Mandelker: very much like a sizzle reel for a spinoff which honestly i would not be mad at i actually could i would i would watch that i would watch drew's messy ass team me too the idea that an entire team of people to hoist up drew sidora you know like again you know who just said or who we just

42:34Ronnie Karam: found out in divorce filings is making twelve thousand dollars a month and she's got all these

42:40Ben Mandelker: people supposedly that she's paying. By the way, came a shawl again later on calling Drew Tooby to Sidora. Say, I don't watch Tooby. I don't got Tooby.

42:52Ronnie Karam: That was a great scene. That was the best scene, I think, of this episode, was that assistant scene. So, um, you know, they're talking, like, why is this? And then Angela's the one, Cynthia's not here right now, so Angela's the one who was given this line. This group is fractured. Bad. I was like, uh. So that's kind of Cynthia's thing to say. which I'm sure she'll say later. This group is fractured. Bad. I see both sides. And I just want to side with who's right. Commercials. Here comes one right now.

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45:27Ronnie Karam: Phaedra comes back and she's like, okay, well, you know, we talked, she apologized. She said, Phaedra, I was not getting rowdy. You know, I don't know how it got to that point. And Portia's like, but every time Kelly was butting in, you know, Kay Michelle would just be like, uh, uh, uh.

45:43Ben Mandelker: Giving the supportive looks. And they show that she does do that. So Portia's like, okay, so like, is this like a double, you know? Like, cause if you're wanting to be mature, then like, why haven't you said that to me? Like, you've not called my phone. You've not done anything. And this is not the place for you to do that. At a sound bath. I'm like, well, this actually could be like, you know, I mean, she's right. But Kate Michelle should call Portia if they're really friends and be like, why the fuck are you plotting and scheming against me? Although if you find out that someone's plotting and scheming against you, you might be like, whoa, they're plotting and scheming against me.

46:15Ben Mandelker: Maybe you're not – you know what, I'm not even going to justify trying to understand the inner workings of Kate Michelle's conspiracy theories.

46:21Ronnie Karam: Yeah, because I mean even the whole way to go about it, like doing it at a dinner where you're like, you're all plotting and scheming. It's like, what are you talking about? Take the crazy lady away. So in the car with the other ladies came and she was like, I'm trying to talk to you like a woman. And I'm not wrong in that. You got to make me, you got to make me be crazy. I got to make me try and make me look crazy. That's your own plotting and scheming against yourself.

46:47Ben Mandelker: You know, the other thing is with Portia, you know, I don't know who, how, how any of these people are really. But I never got the sense that Portia was a plotter and schemer. I feel like Portia, anything that she is planning is only purely to raise her, is to focus on herself. Like, oh, I need to show people, like, a fun side, so I'm going to force feed America, you know, endless scenes of Dennis, me and Dennis. Like, I never feel like she's trying to take other people down. I feel like she's just manufacturing scenes to build an image for herself. I just don't see her as, like, Kenya, I would see.

47:25Ronnie Karam: I was going to say, so you don't see her like a Kenya who's like, let's go to the cookie ladies store. Yeah.

47:31Ben Mandelker: Where, you know, the cookie lady is born.

47:34Ronnie Karam: You know, like. Well, I mean, Portia did have the thing with Phaedra, which got them both kind of canceled at that time. Which was the candy allegations.

47:43Ben Mandelker: That's true. That's true. She did.

47:46Ronnie Karam: She was an accessory. But if you believe, if you believe Portia, that was just Phaedra and she fell for it. Yeah.

47:54Ben Mandelker: Right. Yeah. I mean, I just think that, yeah, I just don't see, I can see Portia saying something like, you know, that's bullshit. Like, she needs to be sharing more on screen. If she doesn't share more, we're going to make her share more. But, like, I don't see her being like, oh, we're going to take her down and we're going to destroy her. Like, I just don't think that's like, I don't get the sense that that's really her nature. I think that she really is mainly focused on herself. And she's just, I think Portia's too self-involved to be conspiratorial about taking other people down.

48:21Ronnie Karam: Yeah, she's not thinking about anybody else. I think she's shocked when she's even in scenes with other people. She's like, what are you doing on my show? I didn't cast you here.

48:30Ben Mandelker: Isn't this still Portia getting married?

48:31Ronnie Karam: Yeah, exactly. Or the one with Simon. That was the best one. I mean, that show is truly great. If you haven't watched that yet. I watched some of it. I didn't watch all of it. That's one that you definitely need to watch on just a weekend where you're sitting around. Like you have the flu or something. There's nothing. You have to watch it. She is unhinged on that show.

48:50Ben Mandelker: So, okay, so after all this happens, we know...

48:53Ronnie Karam: Doesn't this feel weird being in a studio? I like it. I do, too.

48:57Ben Mandelker: I like that.

48:57Ronnie Karam: I think also because we're together, you know? I know. We're not just being together. I know, it's fun.

49:01Ben Mandelker: Well, it feels like we're at a slumber party.

49:03Ronnie Karam: How are you doing over there? You okay? Our producer. Do you watch any of the Housewives shows? No. No? You poor thing. God bless you. I'm going to sit here.

49:14Ben Mandelker: Doesn't this make you want to watch?

49:16Ronnie Karam: Yeah, she's going on leave after this. Yeah, seriously. Don't worry, we only have six more hours. We'll only be here until tomorrow.

49:24Ben Mandelker: So now we go to Shamia's parents' house, which is nice. Her mom's making grits and everything. And it feels very sitcom-y over there. Like, oh, come on in, Shamia. So she comes in, and now Shamia...

49:39Ronnie Karam: Can I say this family does not want to hear you? This family is so sick of your bullshit, and they're only listening to you because you're rich as hell and you're paying for them all to live. because this family, when she's going on and on about her friends, every face was like, really? I have to hear more of your bullshit, okay?

49:57Ben Mandelker: So Shamia starts talking about going to the sound bath. She starts talking about how she starts sinking in the pool and everything. And she's like, well, if that's not a sign, I don't know what it is. And I was looking around and I was like, did you do it? Did you do it? Did somebody do this to me? I was like, I just couldn't believe it. Anyway, this group is divided and stemming from Dallas. And I don't want that, but that's where we are. in the division, they're trying to say it's me. I'm like, literally no one said it was you. You called a house meeting because you were suspicious that they would say it was you.

50:25Ben Mandelker: So you called a house meeting to get in front of it. And everyone sat there and was like, what's going on? Like, who said this? Shamia, what's the issue? You're the one that's saying it. And you've got the look on your face.

50:34Ronnie Karam: And she's like, there is plotting and scheming. And they're like, wait, but that's what she said. That's K. Michelle's line, plotting and scheming. So we're plotting and scheming. I love her confusing Portia. I mean, they did kind of ask her because K. Michelle said, so last night I heard somebody was plotting and scheming and they're like, well, but you were just with Shamia and Kelly last night. So who told you? And she's like, and now you're blaming me? I will put on a bikini and confront all of you.

51:01Ben Mandelker: I know. And the way she's telling the story to her family, her family would probably think like, oh, my God, Shamia, she was like the villain of the season. Wow. That's kind of high profile. while because she's like they're blaming it on me and i just can't believe this season has come down to a she versus she disagreement and i'm one of the she's can you believe it i'm basically the linchpin of this entire thing and they're like uh they're like wow what's going on so can i have another hundred dollars my rent is late because you did the automatic transfer not go through so she's going through this whole thing and she's saying like and you know what angela's definitely trying me i'm like angela basically looked at you and said why do you have that face on like that's you know like that's that's what that came from so uh anyway well she's saying that angela said

51:51Ronnie Karam: you know you're telling kate michelle something to where she's not liking us i like how vague she is with all of this stuff to her family you know um so shamia's like you know i don't know why i'm being blamed for this. I don't have any clue. Maybe I'm delusional. Maybe I need to sing that song Delusional. At least that's one that people remember. That's a good song, actually. Delusional. Oh, yeah. So Shamia's mom is like, at the end of the day, you can take care for a daycare. You got people that want to make you negative, Shamia. You know, they're jealous. Someone's like, they're jealous. Let them have their garbage thoughts to themselves and take it and run with it.

52:32Ronnie Karam: And when you get that garbage thought, you put it in your purse, you turn it into a rainbow and you ask that horse when it's going to run around the block. I was like, are you just saying words? What the fuck kind of motherly advice is she even giving at this point? She's just making things up. That mom is just like, I'm tired, Shamia. I've already stole Porsche's mother's daycare. What more do you want from me? I'm doing my job. The daycare.

52:55Ben Mandelker: The daycare fight, which based on the mid-season trailer, looks like it's going to be coming back.

53:01Ronnie Karam: Thank you, and I would like to thank, you know, I'm one of those people, I think maybe it's mental illness, where you, oh, I thought she was waving at us to someone out there. She's hanging something. She's hanging, I want to know what it is.

53:12Ben Mandelker: That was very Shamia of you. Can you believe it? And I was at ACAS, and people just started waving at me left and right. It's like I can't have any pieces.

53:20Ronnie Karam: Charging something on a shelf, weird. Anyway, yeah, so I feel like I have mental illness where, you know, crazy people on TV see the news and they think it's about them. They're like, oh, they're watching me. I feel like that with Housewives where I'm like, I requested this because I remember when that mother daycare storyline was out. I was like, forget Shamia. I need this mother storyline out here stat because I was reading all about it on Reddit. And here it is. It's like when we went on Watch What Happens and I was like, Sheree needs to be back. And she was back the next season. You know what?

53:52Ronnie Karam: God is listening. God provides. God, I love you.

53:55Ben Mandelker: God really, really provides.

53:56Ronnie Karam: I need to really start focusing on more positive things than probably.

54:00Ben Mandelker: I don't know if I've used this secret very effectively, because the last time I checked, Real Girlfriends in Paris is still not on the air. That's true. So anyway, they talk about surrogacy, and now Shamia's crying because she can't have another boy. Don't care. I mean, I understand some of it. I think she just is, it's challenging. But like I already said this during Beverly Hills, which is that I'm kind of over watching fertility journeys in general. And again, I don't know if that's that might be just like some obnoxious male bias or whatever. And I know this is like a real journey that people go on.

54:37Ben Mandelker: So it's very relatable to many. But it's kind of like always the same thing on Bravo. It's always the same thing. And I feel like for a lot of times it's we see a lot of women on the network sort of like putting their bodies at risk just for men. I'm not saying that that's what's happening with Shamia here, but I'm now just going on a tangent.

54:55Ronnie Karam: Well, it's not that she doesn't want a kid. She's saying she needs to give Gerald a son. I'm like, this is not Renaissance times, whatever. So Shamia gets up thinking about how Shiloh, she's talking about Shiloh and her illnesses and stuff like that, which I'm not going to fuck with, obviously. So then we go back to everybody just doing stuff. And Portion Dennis taking Pilar to school. Presumably, it says in our notes. No, that's Drew's kids where you're like, presumably. So Angela's looking at spiders in her new house. You know, we're just doing stuff like that. So restaurant, Drew and her manager, Drew's late as always.

55:37Ronnie Karam: And she's like, wow, you've got 15 people waiting and you're still late.

55:44Ben Mandelker: ma 'am. Yeah. Then we go over to Phaedra's house and Kelly comes over. The butler greets her. And Phaedra's like, wow, so your boobs, you know, Kelly's boobs are like a sweet chariot. They hang low. Because apparently she does not like bras. I did not realize that. Yeah, she's like, I hate wearing bras. So she's asking how things are and Kelly's like, well, well, I truly want to apologize for my behavior at the event. I would never want to come into your home and disrupt anything. It's like, you would never want to. And yet that's literally what you did and you didn't have to. You do that often.

56:23Ronnie Karam: So I don't need the apology. He knows his housewives. Phaedra knows. She had the to-go's. She knows. So she's like, you know, when it comes, in regards to Portia, I definitely take ownership of things that I've said about her. but you know I've had enough of her putting her finger in my face and then they cut to them wagging you know this is the giant waving up to the giant from Jack and the Beanstalk how dare you terrorize my neighborhood no one stole your golden goose go back to your house

56:55Ben Mandelker: and so yeah Kelly's like saying that you know she's like yeah Porsche has to take ownership and then she's like you know this is the same person who married a man in their divorce documents well and so Phaedra's like well I don't know what's in those divorce documents well I'm telling you I've seen them online and I'm not interested in being friends with Portia when she thinks it's convenient for her I am a friend 365 not 265 and we have a flashback to when Portia said to Nidhi that this is a 265 day a year situation

57:26Ronnie Karam: I forgot about that so she doesn't know she's ever going to be good and Phaedra's like I may need to bring out my flute again. So then she's like, come on, just make up with the girls. And Kelly's like, you know, now I can't shoot with my children. And they're like, am I just not good enough to be on this show? Is that what it is? Yes, the children need extreme talent to be on this show. If you watch this show, some of these children are like pencil erasers. It requires nothing. You just have to sit there.

58:00Ben Mandelker: So then Phaedra starts. Phaedra's like, by the way, I heard you gave a special shout out to somebody. Somebody named Jarvis. Was he named after the port in Pennsylvania? She's like, yes, poor Jarvis. You know, he's been a really, really good man. She's like, oh, is this a prospect? Yes, he's a good prospect. He's wonderful. But then she says, well, I, you know, I don't want to announce. Well, Phaedra says that she doesn't want to, that Kelly doesn't want to announce Jarvis to the group because she's very nervous about what the group will do. And she understands that. But Kelly, on the one hand, is like, I can't believe my husband will let me shoot.

58:40Ben Mandelker: I have my children on screen. But then when it comes to her man, she's like, oh, no, I'm not putting him on. Yeah, yeah. I will let my children face national ridicule, but not the guy I'm interested in. Yeah, she's like, he's going to earn it. He's going to buy me a whole new set of teeth first. And then we'll see. Until my children start buying me veneers, they do not get any protection.

59:02Ronnie Karam: So then we go to someone who does let their kids or whose kids are allowed to shoot Pinky's daughter doing a cute little photo shoot.

59:12Ben Mandelker: Yeah. Pinky's daughter is amazing. what we also did not get to recap last week was the daughter making her a really big star-making moment, which is her walking into the room. And was she singing the alphabet? Was she going, she goes, A, B, C, D, E, S, C, Y, Z, E, Q, T, V. Oh my God, I was like, give her a show. Like her little princess outfit. They're like, here she comes, there she is, go ahead, honey. It's like, A, B, C, D, E, S, T. J-L-L-A-B-C-D. That was so adorable. And you know, I say that as someone who really does not like children. So she's doing a photo shoot because they're going to have Pinky's daughter is going to be representing a brand or a fashion label or something like that.

1:00:01Ben Mandelker: So Angela comes in the Milano de Rouge, which is the brand. Is that a cookie? I don't know, but you know what, though? Can I say something? Delta Airlines now carries Milano's as a snack. How about that?

1:00:17Ronnie Karam: Look, you just worked so hard to get your diamond status with that airline.

1:00:23Ben Mandelker: And you got rewarded. But this is for everyone. You don't have to be at a status.

1:00:29Ronnie Karam: It's for you.

1:00:29Ben Mandelker: It's a diamond status Milano. No, it's, you know, but the thing is they did, as a result, they took away, they had these really good shortbread cookies that had like a big chunk of fudge right in the middle. Oh, I didn't like that. I don't like that. I like those quite a bit. But those are gone, which makes me sad, but the Milanos are there now. And I'm like... When did they get rid of the Stroopies? Who had those? Those were United.

1:00:49Ronnie Karam: Oh, that was United. And I gotta give a shout-out.

1:00:51Ben Mandelker: I gotta give a shout-out to... Oh, wait. I'm gonna say their name wrong, so I'm not gonna give their shout-out until I get their name right, but I'll look it up because they sent me Stroopwafels, but I'll get to the bottom of it.

1:01:00Ronnie Karam: Well, those... Does United still have those? I haven't flown United in a long time. I'm wondering how much United got sued from just ruining people's teeth, because those are the worst things for your teeth. No, no. My teeth would literally hurt. And I would still eat them every time. I was like, is this pulling out my teeth?

1:01:15Ben Mandelker: Oh, my God. Actually, so United famously stopped carrying the Stroopwafels. And they replaced it with some sort of maple cookie. And everyone got mad because everyone loved the Stroopwafels. And I don't know if they ever went back to the Stroopwafels. But the Stroopwafels on United, that would be almost enough for me to change all of my loyalty to United. Yeah. But the fact that they got rid of them, I was like never going back. I don't know why like the Stroopwafel company did not go, like Daleman's was the brand. I don't know why they did not go to another airline because like the Stroopwafels.

1:01:50Ben Mandelker: And I'll tell you one thing, like I'm over the Biscoffs. Like Biscoffs are nice. But like.

1:01:54Ronnie Karam: I don't like the Biscoffs either. I don't think they're very good. It's basically like a thick graham cracker. I just don't understand why it's so difficult to make a casual cookie. Why? It's actually not. Why aren't they good? They're all so dry and shitty.

1:02:05Ben Mandelker: They're fine. They're fine. No Biscoffs. But what I don't like is this. And as a snack, we have a cookie available. So when someone says cookie, I'm thinking something a little decadent. Maybe there's a chocolate chip in there or maybe it's whatever. But if it's a Biscoff, to me, a Biscoff is not even a cookie. It's a biscuit or a – it's just its own entity. But I feel misled, quite frankly, whenever they say there's a cookie available and it's only a Biscoff. And I'm sick of it. Yeah.

1:02:32Ronnie Karam: It feels like a dog cookie. Yeah. But sweeter.

1:02:35Ben Mandelker: Yeah.

1:02:35Ronnie Karam: Anyway. So anyway. let's see Pinky so they're doing a photo shoot it's cute I don't care so then Dutch Waffle Company Cynthia comes and Angela comes and they're talking about this party again and Angela's like oh it was bad Cynthia there were already issues walking into the room and then Kay had an issue with Portia and Drew and Cynthia's like this group is fragmented well I already said that this episode Cynthia okay cut that okay this group is like a bunch of kids on a school bus. You just want to pull that bus over, child.

1:03:12Ben Mandelker: Okay, that was better. Keep that one. Okay. By the way, I do want to also mention that so Angela brought her daughter and so then her daughter started doing poses. And I'll tell you, the real star. I mean, as much as I love Pinky's daughter, Angela's daughter striking those poses, they only showed up for like one second. If you missed it, you missed it. But I could have just sat there and watched 20 minutes of Angela's daughter doing those poses because she was living out every gay boy's adolescence at that moment. She was like, hee! Like a hand behind the head, hand out. She's like, hmm. Every pose looked like she was auditioning to be in Punky Brewster.

1:03:45Ben Mandelker: It was great.

1:03:46Ronnie Karam: So Pinky updates them on what K. Michelle's problem is. She's like, look, Portia, the first time K. Michelle met Portia, she was accusing somebody of fucking some married guy. Then she brings up the, you know, she just goes through it. she brings up the, was it a miscarriage and all of that stuff. So she feels like Portia gives a mean girl energy. Okay. You know, that's not a terrible take, but K. Michelle is also the one who's like, you're ugly. You're career sex. You don't have anything. So it's not like K. Michelle is the nicest person. You know, that's what cracks me up. She, she's always acting like I cannot stand women tearing each other down.

1:04:27These ugly hookers calling each other thing when they don't even have money or a job. and they're ugly and they should get a new face. I'm sick of mean people.

1:04:35Ronnie Karam: You are one of them. Yeah. You are one of them. She really is.

1:04:38Ben Mandelker: She's like, I can't, I don't like this mean girl energy. Meanwhile, I'm not going to allow any woman to work at my husband's dental practice because I don't trust women. It's like, well, that's mean girl energy right there. So anyway, yes, there is. So Angela's like, you know, and then, you know, that apparently they share an ex-boyfriend of sorts. And Cynthia's like, what? What damn ex-boyfriend? Like, what are you talking? about. The ex-boyfriends in this group are fractured. And then Angela's saying, yeah, and then Kelly said that Portia fucked every Nigerian in Atlanta.

1:05:16Ben Mandelker: So Cynthia's like, gosh, I felt like a calling from God that I came early and then I was removed from that space because when the shit hits the fan, the Lord says, oh, not today, Satan. Not these cheekbones, honey. Because Cynthia's like, thank God I got out of that sound bath. before all this happened.

1:05:34Ronnie Karam: Congratulations, you've reached the end of part one of a two-part recap. For part two, go look for the recap that says part two. See you over there, suckers.

1:05:44Ben Mandelker: Watch what Crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. She answered the call. It's Adia Paul. Ain't no thing like Alison King. Our way is the Amber way. It's the Foster and the Furious. It's Amanda Foster. It's Always Automatic with Ashley Otto. Put your hands together for Carly Clapp.

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1:06:15Ben Mandelker: Erin McNicholas, she don't miss no trick-a-less. You'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones. I go, you go, we all go for Hugo. Jamie, she has no less name-y.

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1:07:11Ben Mandelker: Somebody get us 10 cc's of Betsy MD.

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1:07:30Ben Mandelker: Who, what, why, where, and Gwen Pentland. Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall. We got our wish. It's Jen Plish. Have a kebab with K-Rob. My favorite Murdo, Karen McMurdo. Let's get savage with Laura Wildman. In the study with a candlestick, it's Leslie Peacock. We're ride or die for Lisa Ryder Barron. She's a whiz. It's Liz Sarthy. Always killing it. It's Lola Alkalani. Roger that, it's Marlis Rogers.

1:07:56Ronnie Karam: The incredible edible Matthews sisters. She eases our woes, it's Melissa St. Rose. She's the lady of the house, it's Rachel Sherouse. There's a chance of meatballs, it's Rebecca Cloud. She's our princess, it's Rebecca Prince.

1:08:10Ben Mandelker: She's the queen bee, it's Sarah Lemke. We cannot tell a lie, it's Sarah Talafson. Shannon, out of a cannon, Anthony. Please don't stop, it's Solian Pop. Let's take off with Tam La Plaine. Strike a pose, it's Tori Rose.

1:08:25Ronnie Karam: She ain't no shrinking Violet Kuchar. We love you guys.

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