#3395 The Valley S3E10 Part One: Monsters and Critics

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1:03Ronnie Karam: Everything is 100 % online through HERS. You'll connect with a licensed provider who will determine if treatment is right for you, and if prescribed, your medication is delivered right to your door, no insurance necessary.

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1:51Ben Mandelker: Guess what happens when there's so much that crappens? Guess what happens when there's so much that crappens?

2:04Ronnie Karam: Well, hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens. I'm Ronnie. That's Ben over there. Hello, Ben.

2:10Ben Mandelker: Hi, Ronnie.

2:11Ronnie Karam: How's it going? Good.

2:12Ben Mandelker: How are you? Oh, I'm just fabulous. What's new in your life? Anything interesting happen in the past 24 hours?

2:18Ronnie Karam: No, nothing at all. just normal normal times just another day in new york city i realized i did save my white my white jean pants for the wrong day it should have been summer house uh well we're still talking

2:31Ben Mandelker: about hospitality later which is true you know it's all good and i'm actually wearing a very summer house actually i opened southern hospitality notes i guess i'm on the wrong page today i'm wearing a uh like i'm wearing a j crew you can't really see it on camera it's like a green and white sort of like seafoam and white kind of shirt it's very we are pretty matchy today yeah we are we're summer and we're breezy as usual in the city um a huge massive thank you to everyone who came to our cabaret last night the debut of forbidden housewives it was so fun so fun it all you guys were a great audience you made us feel so comfortable upstate on stage there even when we were goofing, it made the goofs all the more fun.

3:18Ben Mandelker: We were just laughing all the way through that entire show. Yeah, it was a good time.

3:21Ronnie Karam: Thanks, everybody, for coming. We have two more on Friday. You can stream them both. Once you buy the tickets, they're only available until showtime. Once you buy them, you can watch them for a whole week. Get them at watchwhatcrappens.com or Instagram, link in bio. There's a big chat room and party in there that was going on. It was really fun, too. Go do it. It's fun.

3:41Ben Mandelker: Once it's done, it's done. We're not recording it. It's not going on our feed. It's once and done.

3:47Ronnie Karam: We might sell it somewhere else, like on our Patreon or something. Oh, yeah. But it's not going on our... But this, the live stream is available for a week. It's not going to be a free episode or whatever. So, welcome to the show. Today is the Valley. Oh, my God. Somebody stole my monster refrigerator. I know. Is that a big refrigerator? He literally had a monster branded... Yeah, I was shocked. Zach, I sometimes wonder what kind of gay is that? Like, is it a generational gay? Is this like a new kind of gay? No, Zach and I are very similar. You would have a monster drink fridge in your house that you cry over and a denim suit with diamonds all over it?

4:31Ronnie Karam: No, it's not so much that I would never have that fridge first and foremost.

4:37Ben Mandelker: But I think the reason why I say Zach and I are very much the same type of gay is that if I received, I think especially at his age, although I guess he's like in his mid-30s now, but especially like when I was like, like probably like 28, 31, whenever, if I received something for free, it was like in my apartment and displayed prominently and part of my identity. So it's like, oh, he got like a free Monster fridge, which is a big tall thing. Oh yeah, so you can be like, I got this. I'm like, well, I got it. I know the people at Monster. No, it wouldn't even be a flex. It'll just be like, I got this free thing.

5:10Ben Mandelker: And isn't it cool? I got something for free I'm I'm having it I'm using it like and this is my thing like I'm so proud I got this free thing like it was like an accomplishment that I somehow got something for free and so I totally get that I mean the amount of random like branded tchotchkes I got in you know when I was younger that were not yeah or even just like b-side blog that were not even they weren't monster energy drink because I honestly I like hate energy drinks but um so I I would never like, I just stick with cocaine. See coffee, coffee. No, I just don't like the flavors. They're all very fruity.

5:46Ben Mandelker: Like Red Bull makes me like, I just don't like the smell. You know what?

5:49Ronnie Karam: Like weird with like fruity smells. Well, also all you need is one drunken night on Red Bull vodkas and barfing that up to never want to drink.

5:57Ben Mandelker: Yeah.

5:58Ronnie Karam: Like, I think it's like, I think it's really gross.

5:59Ben Mandelker: Anyway, I'm sure you know where I'm coming from Danny. Like I've gone to like, how many times, like I, I went to like E3 several times and you always come back with these stupid like video game tchotchkes and like i got some stupid poster and i put it in a frame i was like i got a free poster so i framed it you know it's like so like zach and i are like i don't know i guess maybe we're like scarcity gays where it's like oh i

6:20Ronnie Karam: got something for free gotta hold on to it yeah i mean i can see that you know yeah i can see that

6:26Ben Mandelker: we're not taste gays not taste gays okay yeah some gays were like that's that's that's kind of

6:33Ronnie Karam: what i was getting at but i didn't when you said i'm a gay like zach i didn't want to say like

6:37Ben Mandelker: tasteless no trash no like there's some garbage you know or anything like that i think most gays i think the majority of you know gays were not monolith um but i would say a large number of us can see items like you like but your house for instance your house in la both houses but especially one in la is just like so well appointed such a like great eye for design and like i am not a taste gay i used to say i'm not a fashion gay but i think i think it may just not be a taste gay in general because i would be like oh you know it'd be great right here it would be like my tote bag from orbits or something like that you know and hanging it it's like not everything back from

7:17Ronnie Karam: you know not everything needs to be like swag um yeah i mean i can see that you know but i was like wow this is this is uh not your typical gay like crying over a monster fridge and then wearing that denim i mean i guess you would think the denim suit with the diamonds all over it would be gay you know it's like i will say but it's more like an old maxine and uh you know in the burbank mall

7:41Ben Mandelker: yeah the crying over the monster fridge was objectively hideous and the thing is it's like it's like crying over like an affliction t-shirt that you had like draped over a sofa it's like really that's the thing you're going to cry over? Even I, as not really being a taste gay, would really just never have any energy drink sort of logos in my apartment. I am happy that now as I've gotten older, I think I've become a standards gay. I just feel like I have to have a certain standard. I may not totally know how to put things together, but I have a certain standard of what I want.

8:15Ronnie Karam: In general, what do you mean standard?

8:19Ben Mandelker: I think that if you are going to get something for free and display it it has to be of a certain standard like it can't be that could be on your instagram it can't be who knows when you'll be doing content in the house you'll just be giving free shit to monster yeah it would have to be like something cute and like like we're recording right now in soho when and everything around here is so bougie and cute and so like if it was like a brand i saw downstairs i'd be like that could be the fridge i'll do a j crew fridge i'll do it i love that that's your idea of fancy j crew i would have their fridge well compared to monster i mean compared to monster yeah yeah okay so uh that was that um

9:02Ronnie Karam: let's get into it so the valley season three episode 10 red flags and white claws

9:10Ronnie Karam: still a big medical episode we've got what's his buns and his knee super exciting stuff wounded knee it's ER if ER was just pronounced ER

9:28Ronnie Karam: dot dot dot it's ER dot dot dot capital E small r dot dot dot and then and Brittany getting her mommy makeover, everything makeover. My friend hadn't seen the show. My best friend was spending the night last night and she has never seen this show. So she watched Vanderpump Rules and she was like, who is that? So what do you mean, who is it? She's like, that's Brittany? I said, yeah. She goes, what happened to Brittany? I said, a lot. A lot. A lot has happened to Brittany. Okay, sit down. Let me tell you a little story.

10:02Ben Mandelker: Yeah, it's been a journey. We see just clips of people doing things around town. It's just not a conflict. Like, who do you want? You walk into a place like, that's Ronnie?

10:10Ronnie Karam: What happened to Ronnie?

10:12Ben Mandelker: You know, Britneys have a tough go at it in pop culture, I think, across the board. If we were to look at all the Britneys that we know in pop culture, it has not been great for them. I'm going to say, tell me a Britney in pop culture. Britney's really don't win in pop culture.

10:27Ronnie Karam: You're right. Britney Murphy, a ghost killed her in her house. Yeah. Britney, regular Britney. God, no, she's back in the somewhere now. DUI. Oh, DUI. She's at a DUI.

10:40Ben Mandelker: And then... We have this Britney. We have Britney Bateman. Britney Bateman. Britney Snow just even had something bad happen, right? Like, didn't Britney Snow just have something bad happen, like a bad headline for her like a week ago?

10:51Ronnie Karam: Which one's Britney Snow? She was in Pitch Perfect. I love that movie, the first one.

10:58Ben Mandelker: Britney Snow was in the news because...

11:00Ronnie Karam: I had to specify the first one because I tried with the other one.

11:04Ben Mandelker: I think Brittany Snow was in. Am I just dragging her into this mess?

11:08Ronnie Karam: Yeah, with Brittany Snow. I don't know. I didn't hear anything about Brittany Snow.

11:10Ben Mandelker: I thought there was a headline. I could have sworn I saw Brittany Snow. There's also Brittany. There's another Brittany out there that thinks something bad happened to her. So, yeah, it's rough.

11:20Ronnie Karam: It's not a good name to have. So, sorry, Brittany. Sorry to our producer Brittany today. In pop culture. Her name's Edie.

11:28Ben Mandelker: Yeah, her name's Edie. She's waving. She's waving it. We've had, by the way, so many producers this week. It's been very exciting.

11:33Ronnie Karam: Edie, is there anybody named Brittany who works here? Yes, there is. Is she a mess? No, she's awesome, actually. But she's not on Pop Culture. Does she have a lot of tragedy happen in her life? She may. I'm not sure. See? See? Called it. We'll have to let her speak on that. She doesn't listen to this, Brittany. I'm not airing for her. That was enough. You gave us enough. We were right. That's all we needed to know.

11:57Ben Mandelker: Well, by the way, Brittany Snow had a highly publicized divorce two years ago from a television star. Who was a television star?

12:05Ronnie Karam: I guess someone from Selling DOC. Oh, God. Well, you get what you deserve if you marry somebody from Selling DOC. I mean, what do you expect? Seriously. Seriously. So, okay. So, Luke and Zach are working out. Ew. Oh, and another thing my friend said watching this show. She goes, ew, who's that? I said his name is Luke. She goes, ew, Kristen married that guy. Like when she saw that he was with Chris and she said, oh, why did she do that? Why does he have two ears? It's not Van Gogh.

12:37Ronnie Karam: So Luke is working out with Zach and they're doing. And here's another. Wait, what kind of gay is Zach? I just had this big what kind of gay is Zach night because they're at CrossFit and Zach's like, what is this? Why would you bring me to a straight workout? CrossFit is the gayest workout you can do. That's where you see gays lifting tires over their head and throwing them at other gays.

13:00Ben Mandelker: No. I think CrossFit's still a pretty straight thing.

13:03Ronnie Karam: I think those are gays who are visiting straight worlds in that point. No, I've seen a lot of big unsheathed wieners at the CrossFit. I mean, I've lived in West Hollywood, too, so maybe that's why. I mean, there were girls there. Well, maybe they were gay. I don't know. But that's a big gay thing. I mean, there's definitely, I know a lot of gays. Listen, any workout where they give you giant ropes and tell you to do this, like jump rope, is, come on.

13:28Ben Mandelker: Yeah, I don't know. I still think that CrossFit is going to go more on the straight side of the wavelength. Listen, I'm a workout queen. Yeah.

13:38Ronnie Karam: So are you. We're both. The one kind of gay we are.

13:40Ben Mandelker: I'm like an Australian queen, and I'm going to say. Yeah, no kidding.

13:43Ronnie Karam: You're like, you know what my working out is? Telling you you're wrong. No, but I think it is kind of gay. But you know what? That's a gay I never got into, the working out thing. And last night, looking at little clips here and there of the show, my arm's just flapping like I've got a flag that I'm waving at people. I'm sorry, I don't like lifting things. I don't like it.

14:05Ben Mandelker: We're learning all sorts of things. We've learned this week that I'm not a chorus line gay. I'm only learning the musical this week. We're really recategorizing ourself all week. It's a week of self-discovery for sure. Yeah, we're just, by the end of like going through all these filters of like, what sort of gay are you? Like, we're going to finally have like a defined. When can we stop being a type of gay and just be a type of person? Never. That's like, no, no, I'm a categorization gay. So I'm going to. Me too.

14:34Ronnie Karam: I need to label things and put them in my categories. That's how you know where they are. That's why, you know, and I say this all the time, but I don't believe in the saying, don't judge a book by its cover. You wouldn't read the book without a cover.

14:45Ben Mandelker: Yeah. I'm also like, I don't want to be a generalist. So I really need to have some specifics. Actually, by the way. Oh, I generalize. Yeah, I'm a generalist. Well, I was going to say, by the way, shout out to Rolling Stone, who gave us out of nowhere a mention two days ago in an article about niche audiences, speaking of generalists. And they were talking about how people are really leaning into like being like niche. So they said, you know, people are niche. Like, for instance, you know, look at reality TV fans. they're either listening to Watch What Happens or whatever else. Ben is a blurb gay.

15:18Ronnie Karam: Ben is really big.

15:20Ben Mandelker: Ben is a gay who's turned on by blurbs. But I'm also a never remembers things exactly gay. I'm really bad at quoting things. Whenever I'm around movie quoters which are normally straight people, let's be honest. I never they're always coming up with all these crazy quotes and I'm like how do you remember all these specific quotes from movies or like fucking this is how we come to the office you look like a blood clot I know we're not movie quoter gay is what you're talking about well because those are like I guess I have been quoting Jerry Maguire a lot lately

15:57Ronnie Karam: yeah you're a movie quoting gay too but all those Jerry Maguire quotes were

16:01Ben Mandelker: embedded in a popular song in 1997 which made it easy to learn those quotes if they put more quotes into songs I'd be great at it

16:09Ronnie Karam: request noted. I just wrote Elton. Okay, Elton John, still writing all the pop music of our time. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappins commercial. Losing weight is one thing, but keeping it off, that's where it gets really frustrating, and that's why Weight Loss by Hers Now offers access to the FDA-approved Wagovi pill and the FDA-approved Wagovi pen. Wagovi is designed to help you lose weight and keep it off.

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18:07Ronnie Karam: Now we go to Jesse Lawley's house and he's with Isabella and Lacey. And I don't know if they're doing her hair.

18:17Ben Mandelker: If that's not a pitch to watch this show, I mean,

18:19Ronnie Karam: I know. So there she has fruit roll up in her hair, which I totally get. and origins of hair dents Jason is four hours post-op oh it's a Jason's knee hurt scene so we get that and he's being really bitchy to Janet he's being a jerk to Janet and she doesn't like it and the doctor warned her that after anesthesia people are kind of dicks for 24 hours so she's going to let him be a dick for 24 hours but that did get me to thinking what is this marriage like because there's a lot going on right now on this show with like, oh, they pretend their marriage is perfect, Danny and Nia. And they don't want anybody to see the cracks in their marriage.

18:57Ronnie Karam: But I think the marriage is really like that as well, because Danny and Nia are definitely like that. But I think another marriage that's like that is Janet and Jason, because you never see them argue. You never see them do anything. And Jason's always coming out like, my wife is right. You know, and he's having that whole thing. So we see the perfect side of their marriage, but we see Jason like on anesthesia. And, you know, we talk about all the time when your drunk personality comes out that's still your personality it's just less filtered so when i see this side of danny i'm like oh okay so this this is the unfiltered side of danny and fuck

19:30Ben Mandelker: that i don't know i didn't i actually did not pick up i did not get that vibe from this believe it

19:34Ronnie Karam: or not because you know why it wasn't a vibe it was the literal he was on anesthesia and being a

19:39Ben Mandelker: dick i mean uh yeah i mean he was he was he was being a dick but like i did not feel like oh the the facade has dropped in this marriage because janet was like okay he's being a dick and he has one more day and then he can't be a dick anymore and i felt like she's got it i just thought it

19:55Ronnie Karam: was i'm not i'm not saying their marriage sucks or anything i'm just it's just interesting because their uh dynamic is always like so you know i actually so what's interesting to me is that i

20:05Ben Mandelker: don't feel like they are trying to sell themselves as a perfect couple and everything is great and i think the difference with danny and nia it's not that danny and nia are trying to sell themselves is everything is great is that like when someone says like nia what's going on she's like oh well you know he's tired oh well like she's sort of always making these sort of sing-song excuses and what about everyone else and i think if you were to say hey janet jason's being a real dick she's like yeah i know i didn't i didn't serve mashed potatoes last night as a result i said that's your punishment whatever she would say but like i don't think i did not get a sense and this is not me being any sort of janet stan you've been a janet apologist for 10 years even if i I just don't, I watch this, I'm like, I cannot put this on the same level as Danny and me.

20:49Ronnie Karam: I'm not putting it on the same level. It's just the general, like, you're, you think you're, you act, you guys like your, act like your marriage is perfect, and you guys, like, keep everything, you keep all your problems behind closed doors. I'm just saying there are signs that this is that way, too. Here's another sign. She served him a banana as a snack. What kind of couple is that? He probably loved that.

21:09Ben Mandelker: He's like a health person. This is disgusting. I just don't get this couple. He's been talking about carbs, counting carbs, ever since he came on the show. so he's probably like banana is a carb i know i say that as a crossfit gay but he's like a health but like to him that's like the banana to me a banana is a healthy snack to him it's like oh my god why is she a feeder now so i don't know i know what you're saying i know what you're saying

21:31Ronnie Karam: listen it's just a little thing i'm not i'm not throwing any like any i'm not throwing any swords at their relationship i'm just saying this is a sign he was being a dick he was being a dick and he was being i would like to see more of this i like to see less of the people faking it like that's why i like danny because everyone accuses them of being perfect but you can see this whole time no one's been like wow what a perfect marriage we're like oh jesus he's forcing her to have more kids or she's forcing it so she can get the mommy but whatever it is it's like and then even this one they're talking about having like their 17th kid oh this show is just so confusing to me in general so we go to jasmine and melissa i saw a woman the other day i was at pizza with my parents And there was a lady there.

22:10Ronnie Karam: We were in Texas. And there was a lady there, two ladies. But I think one was his sister. This lady had six children. And they were, when I tell you they were just running amok. Because how can you control six kids? You can't. I mean, they were little, all of them little kids. It was like Danny and Neil, like one after the other. And I just, I was, you know, I love kids. So I was like, ah, that's so funny. And my mom was like, I'm going to kill him. I'll kill him. She's trying to trip him from her wheelchair. I'm like, mom. But I just gave a look to the lady and she was like, oh, my God, you guys, I'm so sorry.

22:41Ronnie Karam: She was like horrified. I was like, I know. Why do you do this to yourself? I just – I did this. This was the look I gave her, but I hope my eye said, why are you doing this to yourself? Sell them. Yeah. You know, go on Craigslist. List them. Yeah.

22:53Ben Mandelker: Get them out of here. It's too many. Yeah. I'm sick of children, to be honest. I think we can cap them. so we're at Jasmine and Melissa's house and Melissa is very upset because the invitations are messed up I wouldn't know anything about that were these the wedding invitations or the engagement party invitations I'm assuming wedding invitations

23:21Ronnie Karam: I think I don't know I think it's just there was a stationary issue I did our programs for our show they're all wrong

23:32Ben Mandelker: completely wrong$400 of wrong so thank you funny so here's three things so it's I'm not gonna let you take the full blame so one of the things was I told Ronnie I was like hey um let's make the back of the program look like a real playable with like these like the dots like you know going from it and so I put like a temp thing in there and I should have just like done it I should put the temp thing in there like okay that's what it looks let me do it and get it final and put it in there and that would be done and whatever I put the temp thing in there and I was like okay I'll come back this later so i didn't come back to it later and then you thought it was done because of the file so you printed it but the thing is that since it was a temp file there were these little squiggles on it like the spelling um everybody's like garcelle spelled wrong you know like the red line under our pianist we spell i spelled his name wrong on it it was just his name was did you re-spell his name i fixed it for the new one but didn't i put his name in there yeah did you change the spell his name in his brandon james and i remember i was like no it's brandon james Gwynne wine.

24:31Ben Mandelker: And then I put in, I spelled it GWY,

24:33Ronnie Karam: but it's GWY. Well, anyway, I get it, but I just went with it. So I hope they don't reprint theirs. We spent$400. We're keeping it. So they're bummed about this, and they're talking about their engagement party and how they know it's going to be super classy because Britney's planning it. What? Who in the world has ever said that? Only in the Valley would they say, we know this is going to be super classy because Britney's planning it. I know it's going to be like a dunk tank. Have you seen Britney? Nothing on Britney is planned classily. Not a damn thing. Not even her flip-flops.

25:05Ben Mandelker: From her cuticles to the tip of her hair.

25:08Ronnie Karam: She is not class.

25:09Ben Mandelker: As a standard gay, standards gay, I would say she's not who you're going to go to. She is the monster fridge of party planning.

25:22Ronnie Karam: So, Britney has just had a mommy makeover. So Jasmine's like, how is this going to be an amazing party?

25:28Ben Mandelker: um which by the way also annoys me because it's like why did you why did you take on the responsibility of doing this party but also you got a mommy makeover so you're gonna be bedridden like like i feel like that's like don't if it's fine get your surgery but then don't also be like i'm gonna throw you the party because it's like i would kind of want my party planner to be up and adam a little bit like that way we could like go check out things together like i don't know that That stresses me out a little bit. Well, when it's free, you don't get much. There's other people that could have just done it.

25:59Ronnie Karam: Who? Anyone. Zach, did you see his party? No, not Zach. I know. He's not a standards guy.

26:06Ben Mandelker: That's it. Who else would have done it? There could have been. She's out of people. What, does Melissa not have friends? Why do we have, where's Melissa's friends? I don't know.

26:15Ronnie Karam: I wonder about that too. Melissa's friends. I mean, I've never in a relationship, and I don't really wonder about relationships, but this show makes me wonder about relationships. Yeah. And it really reconfirms my decision to never be in a relationship.

26:30Ben Mandelker: I also, by the way, you know what? I'm going to push back on this idea of like, well, if not Britney, then who? I mean, like, how is that a situation? Literally, Britney should be the last choice.

26:40Ronnie Karam: I just mean, like, there's no one better. I don't mean like, wow, there's no one better than Britney. I just mean there's like literally no one that I would say, wow, they're classier. Never Nia, because Nia would be a trad wife carnival. yes much yeah it would be like respect your husband it's like well this is a gay wedding

26:58Ben Mandelker: there is no husband here okay believe it or not i think actually janet would be the right choice because janet i feel like is the sort of person who would just get really anal about about like party planning because she'd be wanting to do it to promote herself as being a good friend and so she'd be so into showing how good of a friend she is especially while she's doing an apology tour that she would do an amazing party i think you could really capitalize on that look

27:21Ronnie Karam: look Ben saying Janet's a great party person. I'm telling you, I think that Janet t-shirt. I think that Janet's face on a t-shirt.

27:28Ben Mandelker: Honestly, if I'm going to choose a party plan by Brittany versus Janet, I would choose Janet. And then after Janet, it's like Zach. And then there's Kristen.

27:36Ronnie Karam: Janet would bring Jared though. She'd be like, oh my God, look, Jared, my co-host Jared. And he'd be like, hi everybody, it's me, Jared. No, no, no, no.

27:44Ben Mandelker: Yeah. Well, I mean, whatever. I mean, I think like ultimately I would be a little annoyed if someone's like, I'm going to throw this for you. I'm going to throw this party for you. I'm going to throw this party. Oh, by the way, I just got surgery and I'm bedridden. And I'll be like, well.

27:56Ronnie Karam: Yeah, but nobody thinks it's going to be as bad. When you plan that surgery, they tell you, oh, it's nothing, honey. Because they've done a million of them. Like when I got my upper bluff, like my eye fat or whatever cut, they were like, oh, you'll be fine in a week. And I planned a birthday, an out-of-town birthday party with all of my friends in Palm Springs. I mean, yeah, I was like, I'm going to, okay, fine. And this will be like, what, a month after this? I showed up there looking crazy. Two giant purple eyes. I didn't look fine for months. So you just keep planning shit, you know? You don't care.

28:32Ronnie Karam: And that's what Britney did. And also, this is not Britney's first time at the rodeo. So I think she just remembered it as like, well, it wasn't so bad the last five times I did this. But it was.

28:41Ben Mandelker: Well, I hope that Jasmine and Melissa are excited about getting some Beauty and the Beast roses under bell jars. Exactly. Wasn't it her who did that? It was Britney, right? It was, I think, for Britney's party. Yes, it was her wedding. I love Beauty and the Beast.

29:00Ronnie Karam: We're getting married in the castle in Versailles. R.I.P. People Bryson. R.I.P. Yeah, People Bryson passed. So sad. I saw him on the news that people in New York are so funny how they do the news. She's like, People Bryson died. What a shame. Beauty and the Beast.

29:18Ben Mandelker: it's like okay news lady calm down all right and then she said oh fuck off okay someone just tussin's gotta tell sue simmons to calm down um so anyway they're they're talking about this party and everything and so then zach calls and zach is like oh my god i'm just like so upset all right they call zach because he texts he's like i'm really upset because i'm like dealing with getting my roommate out today and like i don't want to cry about it but it's just like he basically was like he's like was not even gonna tell me and then just like took the monster fridge and i'm like dude no and like the number one like where the are you gonna put that like it's like your fiancee is not gonna but he probably doesn't wanna and like like you we all thought monster fridge like i thought it was like i thought it was like one of those big garage refrigerator or a yeti cooler

30:00Ronnie Karam: just throw it in from the costco for years at a time yeah i thought it was some cool thing bodies

30:05Ben Mandelker: whatever show it's like uh like it's like a six foot tall slender fridge that you'd see it like like a pizzeria or a deli that he has in his kitchen. And you see him, like, they show, like, a black and white. It's, like, a tribute almost. It's, like, when Dog the Lizard died. It's, like, they show him, like, putting a drink out of it. I was, like, this? Yeah, that's Zach's big emotional arc.

30:32Ronnie Karam: Because we really haven't seen any emotion from Zach until now. And it's over a monster fridge.

30:36Ben Mandelker: Yeah, he's, like, upset about this fridge.

30:38Ronnie Karam: Yeah, and he goes, I mean, your fiancé's not going to let you put that anywhere. so he just probably wants to sell it for profit whereas it's my thing like i'm the monster fridge

30:48Ben Mandelker: guy he's made me the monster when he's taking the monster fridge that's my thing i'm like he's like

30:55Ronnie Karam: that's part of my personality and he's just taking it to sell it you know zach when that's just funny when when life closes the door on you it also opens um a fridge door for you instead and

31:09Ben Mandelker: that fridge is much better than a monster fridge. Please, like, let's move on. And then later on, we find out that actually the roommate also took Zach's TV that Kristen bought him. I'm like, you're not upset about the TV, but you're upset about the monster fridge.

31:20Ronnie Karam: The TV is where you die. Yeah, you touch my TV, you are dead in the ground.

31:24Ben Mandelker: Yeah, the TV is, like, where you're getting tied to the bed, like, in seven, and you're being left there for a year. Seriously. You know?

31:31Ronnie Karam: Yeah. So, Jasmine's like, you know, cry it out. Cry it out, Zach. You know, get it out of your system. It's going to be okay. I'll call you in a little bit. she's like R.I.P. to the monster fridge really upset about that fridge

31:42Ben Mandelker: so now Nia and Michelle go to Cafe Shira which is it's the cafe of power some would say

31:54Ronnie Karam: one letter away from I could be on your show

31:58Ben Mandelker: you know I loved Shira when I was a kid loved it

32:00Ronnie Karam: you did? yeah I didn't really know Shira was she He-Man's friend she was just like He-Man for girls.

32:09Ben Mandelker: I was a Shira gay.

32:12Ronnie Karam: I don't even think I was really a He-Man gay. I had a little He-Man doll. I think my mom tried to make me a He-Man gay because she thought that would straighten me up a little bit, getting me a doll, but it was a He-Man.

32:23Ben Mandelker: Do you know there's a He-Man movie coming out tomorrow? Isn't that crazy? I saw the preview for it. It looked like the biggest piece of garbage I've ever seen.

32:30Ronnie Karam: Of course.

32:31Ben Mandelker: Yeah.

32:33Ronnie Karam: But that being said... You know who else was a piece of garbage? My He-Man doll. That never... not one compliment you know who's misunderstood skeletor skeletor had body by the way well we used to call him skeletor now we call him goal weight now now we under like now we understand

32:47Ben Mandelker: we skeletor captain hook we understand these people now i know you were just talking the other day about how you hate these movies about like let the villains be villains but sometimes the villains are just like chill people have to deal with assholes all the time peter yeah that's true what a fucker and on top of that he man he man was always he was pretty dull i mean again sick body but like he was pretty dull when he was adam he's like oh i'm adam like no one likes me i can't do anything it's like i would just relax adam okay i've had enough out of you yeah i wasn't

33:17Ronnie Karam: i wasn't a he-man i think i just didn't like that i didn't like his name like he man okay wow we got it really proud of our gender you know they were good for you they were very creative which restroom are you using guess we're not going to need to look at your instagram you know description in your bio for your pronouns or whatever. We get it. He slash man. Okay. Alright, sir. You're very manly. Sorry about your penis.

33:42Ben Mandelker: I have the power. Sonia and Michelle go to Café Shira. He man. My man. He man. Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da. Or as Michelle Lolly would sing it. Da da da da da da da da da da.

33:58Ronnie Karam: He is a he man. I did love that he man grew up and he was like this big manly man, like trying to make us all feel like little wussy girls. And then he had Captain Sandy hair. I know that's my favorite part. He has Captain Sandy hair.

34:11Ben Mandelker: I love when he called Captain Sandy hair, He-Man hair. But yeah, you know, the funny thing is I loved Shira, but I remember not a lick of it, but of course He-Man, I just had stronger memories of it. I'm sure you did.

34:22Ronnie Karam: You had your dick in your hand,

34:23Ben Mandelker: a little winky in your hand the whole time you were watching the He-Man. I was feeling things as a child that I didn't understand. Yeah.

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37:10Ben Mandelker: Nia and Michelle go to Cafe Sheer Up.

37:13Ronnie Karam: And Nia's like— I think her son's really into heat, man. Oh, I know. We know.

37:17Ben Mandelker: we all were waiting for him to figure that out I had one He-Man toy, it was a guy whose face kept on changing, like you would rotate it and his face would be a monster, he rotated it, it would be like a man, rotated it, it would be a robot the best, talk about being in the closet it's like, who are you are you a man, are you secretly a monster

37:33Ronnie Karam: so this is another scene of Nia enabling her husband, so it's another super fun scene of Nia coming to run defense for her loser fucking husband, that she is going to try and villainize everybody else on the show now because she married a piece of shit. So let's all tune in. What's she going to do, everybody? So she's like, oh, it took me almost an hour to get here. Okay, divorce. How are you going to use this as a defense mechanism or a defense scene for your husband when he moved you to fucking Santa Clarita? Divorce. If she made me wait for an hour and then this was her excuse and then she started defending her husband, the only answer I would have for her is Santa Clarita.

38:12Ronnie Karam: Yeah. Well, Danny doesn't drink as much as anyone else, Santa Clarita. I'm looking up to see where Cafe Shira is. Well, Danny wants another child.

38:18Ben Mandelker: Santa Clarita. Santa Clarita. You know what's actually really fucked up about this, though? This Cafe Shira is in Beverly Hills. It's in the Golden Triangle, which is, you know, bound by Wilshire and Santa Monica. So that's annoying for anyone to get to. And the fact that production made Nia travel down from Santa Clarita into Beverly Hills, that is not an easy that is they don't like her i'm telling you that right now we're telling you this this is some los angeles insider traffic understanding former uber driver ways they do not like this woman if they are making her drive from santa clarita into beverly hills it's also just on a show called the valley it's also just rubbing it in yeah coming coming from santa clarita to beverly hills have you noticed that every time they shoot with like michelle or jesse they just go over the hill to where michelle and jesse are they they don't make michelle and Jesse really go up to the Valley very much.

39:13Ben Mandelker: They always do it on the other side. And what's Hollywood, Hollywood, Beverly Hills, which is kind of funny.

39:18Ronnie Karam: Yeah. Even the Valley. It's like, let's get the fuck out of here. Even the production of the Valley. It's like, let's shoot here as little as possible. Let's get out of this modern farmhouse hellscape. I know. Seriously. It's hilarious. So, she's like, yeah, I was late. You know, thanks for being patient with me. It's like, I'm good for the most part. I had a conversation with Jesse. We are finally going to get divorced. and so they talk about that a little bit and Michelle talks about how she cried all day when she left Jesse

39:47Ben Mandelker: I also cried all day when I just went to aerobics, I cried all day when I went to the grocery store, I basically cry all day all the time

39:55Ronnie Karam: so anyway I cried all day until I remembered I was coming to lunch with you and I thought to myself well at least Jesse didn't make me live in Santa Clarita, maybe he was a good husband after all cry, cry, cry Cry, cry. Zaldi, Zaldi, Zaldi coming out of my eye.

40:13Ben Mandelker: Zaldi. I am so glad that he did not thread in me with Santa Clarita.

40:20Ronnie Karam: Jazzy will always be my family. So she says that he apologized. She apologized. And hopefully they can get along now. And Mia's like, well, it's a lot being a mom of a baby of 10 babies. But, you know, it's worth it. You are a Zuber woman. You are a Z-Man. Wait a minute.

40:43Ben Mandelker: So she's like, so our group dynamic is very interesting to me when it comes to Daniel. Because I sometimes in our group, there's like a double standard because like, you know, Jesse drinks like crazy. He does all these things like in Santa Barbara. And like, it's a bother in the moment. But nobody talks about it the next day. And I feel like it's similar with Zach. And I feel like the same with Daniel and he's loud or whatever. but like whatever it's like we talk about it for like a week later when daniel gets out i'm like the difference is that when jesse gets drunk and mounts off the um to michelle everyone was like that's fucked up and that's terrible like it wasn't like there was no hiding i don't know i'm not excusing jesse's behavior whatsoever i think it was no but nia's full of shit here

41:25Ronnie Karam: they did all talk about it first of all and she's saying they did talk about it but then they just let it go the next day yeah because they weren't denying it and making excuses for it michelle wasn't running around going, no, no, Jesse's really a good person.

41:36Ben Mandelker: On top of that, actually, Michelle was, if I remember correctly from last season, because of course I don't remember anything from five days ago. If I remember correctly, Michelle was actually saying, all Jesse does is get drunk. Wasn't she saying, like, he spends money and gets drunk?

41:48Ronnie Karam: Yeah, but they were about to divorce her. They were in a contentious relationship.

41:51Ben Mandelker: But there was no cover-up. It wasn't like a... Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I think we're both saying the same thing. Yeah, we're both saying the same thing.

41:58Ronnie Karam: Mia's running around enabling the behavior, saying it's not a big deal. It's not a big deal. Whereas everybody else was like, no, that's fucked up. That's a big deal. He can't call you a whore. Like, they all said that.

42:08Ben Mandelker: And as we have mentioned a million times, Danny was also being addicted to Nia when he wasn't drunk at the amusement park. He was talking, he was being condescending and rude.

42:16Ronnie Karam: Yeah. So, again, it's about his behavior, not his drunkenness. You dumbass. So, Michelle's like, well, do you care if he drinks? And she's like, well, no, that's the thing. I mean, 90 % when we drink, and it's not you, Nia, Stop making it a weed because it's not a when you drink. You're no problem. When we drink, you know, it's like 90 % of the time it's fun. Well, guess what? You know, serial killers 90 % of the time are watching TV or eating a sandwich or jerking off and not killing people. But the 10 % of the time they're not eating or watching TV or jerking off. They are killing people. So, you know, worry about the 10%.

42:55Ben Mandelker: I was about to say, do you want to drive in a car whose brakes work only 90 % of the time? you want to fly in a plane that uh flies 90 of the time 10 do you want a condom that only works never mind who am I asking well yeah can I tell you something I don't want to brag I kind of feel like I'm a 100 super fun drunk like you are I don't think like anyone has had a story that maybe over over the past was how old am I now like so I think probably like 25 25 to 28 years of me drinking. I think it's only been what? Oh, it's time to stand up. I think... No, it just wants you to take a stand on something.

43:36Ben Mandelker: I'm not doing that enough.

43:38Ronnie Karam: So, I'm not doing that enough. I'm not taking enough of a stand. Go back to He-Man. I'm about to say, Ronnie has just become

43:45Ben Mandelker: my grandmother gay. So wrong that I don't want to take a stand at this very moment. Okay, go ahead. So, yeah, you're a fun drunk

43:54Ronnie Karam: and nobody's ever complained in all of these years i mean i will say you're meaner when you're drunk and i love it yeah but like i'm not you've told me things about myself when you're drunk i have oh yeah oh but i love it because i know it's been i know it's been inside of you this whole time and i'm like it feels like therapy oh that's so funny i had no idea that i was for you just kidding i had no idea that i was just kidding that i was uh laying into you when i was no you don't lay into me but you're like your filter you know it takes your filter off yeah and that's that's good i mean i think it's fun i love it i'm always encouraging you to be mean well either way i mean i think

44:28Ben Mandelker: having like less filter when you're drunk that's fine it's more like the um belligerence yeah like i'm not like you're not i don't think i've actually ever been belligerent when i've been drunk and i think like i understand every now and then some people will get but like if someone's at a 10 belligerence rate that's a problem because honestly that's a big rate it's a really high rate if i if i find especially as i've gotten older if someone's belligerent even like once or twice i'm just not gonna get drunk with that person anymore because i don't yeah if you know it's there you can't really get drunk because you don't know when is that are we are we having a 10 moment right now it's a real issue and so for nia to be like yeah 10 of the time and i know like whatever she's estimating even if she even if it's one percent like i don't know if belligerence the fact that there's even a name for it, that's the thing.

45:20Ben Mandelker: The fact that there's a name for Dark Side Danny means it happens enough. It happens enough that there's a nickname. That's not acceptable to me.

45:28Ronnie Karam: And she would stop this if she just stopped trying to make it okay. Because people are now arguing with it because they're both going over the top and being like, what? What's the big deal? What's the big deal? It was a big deal. You got shit faced. You yelled at your wife in front of everybody for hours and hours and hours and hours for days and days. You ruined an entire vacation. with your terrible couplehood yeah and now you're acting like well everybody else sucks yeah we're watching bravo everybody sucks on bravo and that's how sad it is that you suck this badly that we have to waste time on your planet of the apes husband for this long that's saying something

46:04Ben Mandelker: about you you know yeah and and you know it's also so obnoxious about this what what she's doing here is it really discredits you know the intellect and I you know I don't like to use that word with this cast but it does discredit the intellect of these adults these are adults who are in their 30s if not in their 40s who understand drunkenness they understand behavior they understand how like things I don't think that they're doing this purely to drive a storyline they see it the way we see it people are not like people may be idiots in life but they also So like on a certain level, people sort of understand behavior.

46:43Ben Mandelker: And we all know a bad drunk versus a not bad drunk. We just know it when we see it. And Nia trying to be like, no, you guys are all crazy. Like it's a double standard. It's like, no, lady, enough. Put your wife dress away and go back.

47:00Ronnie Karam: But everybody does it. Everybody does it. So yeah, she's full of shit. And I have to credit Nia because, not Nia, I have to credit Michelle because Michelle did not agree with her. And she didn't do anything except stay robotic. I mean, it's like thanking an Alexa for giving you the weather report. But still. She was just like, I will not agree with you, but I will not make you uncomfortable either because I know you have to drive Zig Zowers to get home.

47:34Ben Mandelker: I will just focus on memories of Jim the SDX.

47:37Ronnie Karam: Yeah.

47:38Ben Mandelker: so uh now we go over to britney's house she's in bed with cruise and um she's got like all of her like accoutrements her recovery accoutrements there she's got like little claws and stuff

47:49Ronnie Karam: that she can grab things like look honey mommy's got a boo-boo use your boo boo text get away from my window sorry that's your father but i also got a real boo-boo my boobies hurt so here comes

48:01Ben Mandelker: brandon and he's like hey i can't find your pills um you know uh she's like so we don't have pills He's like, yeah, so your doctor will have to call them in to the 24-hour pharmacy, and then I can go pick them up. So she tells us, the only thing that I had asked for Brandon to do was to make sure that he picked up my pain medication because I was going to be completely out. And he waited until it was too late and just drives me crazy because it's like the thing that I need the most right now because this is a very painful recovery. I'm like, this piece of shit couldn't get his girlfriend's pain medication.

48:33Ben Mandelker: What? I mean, that is, you're fired.

48:35Ronnie Karam: I knew when he showed up to that free dinner that they got for her influencer deal or whatever at that steak place. And he showed up in cargo, like dirty cargo pants and a t-shirt that this man was no good. And you think like that's not a good thing to judge somebody on. But it is, you know, books, covers.

48:55Ben Mandelker: He also kind of gives them. He also kind of gives the energy of like Oafi sidekick in like a cartoony mafia movie where it's like, hey, did you take care of Vinny? He's like, Vinny, I thought you meant Ginny. I killed Ginny. Oh, man. What are you doing? Oh, Marron. Marron.

49:17Ronnie Karam: He was very like Turtle from Entourage. Yeah. Turtle vibes. he came on to social media and he was like yeah someone was like what a loser he can't even pick up the pills for his girlfriend he's like I live three hours away and by the time she told me about it everything was already closed so I tried so I don't know but I will believe Brittany on this one but also don't count on somebody who lives in Robles not that people in Paso Robles are too stupid to pick up pills what? Paso I don't know because they pronounce it They just make up their own pronounce it. Because he didn't even say Roble. What did he say?

49:56Ronnie Karam: He's like, I'm from Robles. Didn't he say Robles? I would call it So Robe. He's like, I'm from Robles. I call it So Robe.

50:02Ben Mandelker: The end of pass at the front of Robles. So Robe.

50:04Ronnie Karam: Comes out Robe. But don't count on somebody long distance to get your local pills. Like you need to get your pills. You know what I mean?

50:10Ben Mandelker: I agree, but I'm still going to blame him because I feel like whatever.

50:16Ronnie Karam: Well, I blame him too. I'm just saying when it comes to pain pills, you don't count on a man that you don't know to get your pain pills. Pain pills are extremely important. Yeah. Whether or not you've had surgery.

50:26Ben Mandelker: I agree. I agree. I feel like these are two not smart people trying to coordinate a very simple task and it was not going to work out. But I'm going to blame him more because I feel like he's the one who's actually able to move around.

50:39Ronnie Karam: Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I blame him too. I'm just saying, Brittany, take your power back. like part of being away from Jax is like taking power back and part of having power is having pain pills come on don't hurt yourself

50:54Ben Mandelker: I was going to say the one thing that Jax would have been good at would have been getting those pills I would always tell

51:00Ronnie Karam: I would tell anybody don't ever count on a man but especially Britney because we see how Britney picks like Britney doesn't have a picker you just don't rely on a man but good news everyone

51:11Ben Mandelker: her little liposuction drainage drainage.

51:15Ronnie Karam: My ball sacks are getting full. Look at them. So she whips out these little sacks that collect all of her juices and he's like, ew. He's like, gross. He's like, yeah. He's like, is that blood? No, it's just all stuff that comes out of your body. Like grains and comes out of there. But fats, all sorts of stuff. Oh my God, look, there's a little bit of chicken wing in there.

51:35Ben Mandelker: She really did say, ew, that one has a chunk in it.

51:38Ronnie Karam: We're either going to get to it. We're either going to have to flush these or we're going to have to get some ranch to dip them into. Am I right?

51:45Ben Mandelker: maybe I should have Zooli come drain this one. I was like, I think Brandon should do it because he's like, ugh, it's gross. He's like, no, I don't want you to do it because I still want you to be attracted to me. I'm like, if he is not, this is your man and he messed up your pills. If he does not take care of those lipo-filled sacks, he's out of here. He needs to take care of it.

52:03Ronnie Karam: I wouldn't trust this man with my ball sacks. And yeah, and this, I think, was a test because she goes, maybe I should have Zooli come in. And he goes, yeah, Zooli's here, so she may as well do it and just lays back on the bed.

52:16Ben Mandelker: He's literally sitting right there. Lazy fuck. Yeah, take care of your woman.

52:22Ronnie Karam: Oh, this just gets worse and worse for Brittany. Oh my gosh. So that'll come in a later scene. Congratulations, you've reached the end of part one of a two-part recap. For part two, go look for the recap that says part two. See you over there, suckers.

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54:06Ben Mandelker: Somebody get us 10 cc's of Betsy MD.

54:09Ronnie Karam: We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. Let's get real with Caitlin O 'Neill. Put us on a stretcher. It's Charlotte Fletcher. Hogle your horses. It's Christine Hogle. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily sides.

54:25Ben Mandelker: Who, what, why, where, and Gwen Pentland. Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall. We got our wish. It's Jen Plish. Have a kebab with K-Rob. My favorite Murdo, Karen McMurdo. Let's get savage with Laura Wildman. In the study, with a candlestick, it's Leslie Peacock. We're ride or die for Lisa Ryder Barron. She's a whiz, it's Liz Sarthy. Always killing it, it's Lo Alkalani. Roger that, it's Marlis Rogers.

54:52Ronnie Karam: The incredible edible Matthews sisters. She eases our woes, it's Melissa St. Rose. She's the lady of the house, it's Rachel Sherouse. There's a chance of meatballs, it's Rebecca Cloud. She's our princess, it's Rebecca Prince.

55:05Ben Mandelker: She's the queen bee, it's Sarah Lemke. We cannot tell a lie. It's Sarah Talafson. Shannon out of a cannon, Anthony. Please don't stop. It's Soli and Pop. Let's take off with Tam LaPlane. Strike a pose. It's Tori Rose.

55:20Ronnie Karam: She ain't no shrinking Violet Kuchar. We love you guys.

55:29Ben Mandelker: Is your kid's birthday coming up? Don't stress the prep. The Party Shop at Michael's is your one-stop shop for everything from Bluey to Rodeo. Transform your space into a birthday wonderland with dream-worthy tablescapes and decor starting at$0.99. Plus, get free helium inflation on select balloon styles. Whether you're crafting a one-of-a-kind bash or grabbing the essentials, Michaels has everything to make their big day legendary. Shop now and order ahead for delivery or in-store pickup. Michaels, everything to celebrate anything. Hey, this is Adam Grant, host of TED's podcast, Rethinking with Adam Grant.

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56:37Ben Mandelker: I am always looking for ways to elevate our daily rituals, and the Kohler Smart Toilet is proof that design changes everything. It's this stunning sculptural piece that feels like quiet luxury for your bathroom. It totally transforms your daily ritual into something elevated with customizable cleansing and touchscreen controls. It's functional art that makes your space feel cleaner and more intentional. A modern home deserves a modern toilet. Experience the difference of Kohler smart toilets. Find more at Kohler.com.