#3409 The Valley S3E11: On Her Majesty’s Secret Meal Train Service

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1:21Ben Mandelker: Hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about i'm ben mandelker and joining me today all cozy and a nice comfy chairs mr ronnie carham hi ronnie well hello how's it going it's going just fabulously i'm excited to talk about the valley today and it's the it's we're coming towards the end of our work week it's been such a crazy fun time over the past two weeks here in new york and i really i do have to look back and say thank you to really everyone at a cast who has helped us along um the tons of producers who have been recording these shows for us as well as everyone who came to our cabarets last week um thank you so so so much it really has been a big fun time so what what a blast and thanks also to the various podcasts who had us on as guests over the past week and a half we was mentioned it all i don't think i actually mentioned this so i will mention it all i was on mention it all with dylan hafer earlier this week that came out two days ago um we were on sauce on the side baby hot sauce uh gandhi uh that came out i don't know if it's already come out yet or not um and also john hill and then you recorded with sarah galley and so uh thanks to everyone who had us on sarah galey and the girls yes so anyway thanks everyone we appreciate it we'll be back to more normalcy next week but uh today uh don't forget to check out the our patreon if you want to watch us on video patreon.com slash watch what crappens ronnie does a fabulous newsletter that's like a recap of bravo it's called read what crappens that's free for everyone you don't even have to be a patreon member i just want to point that out like you can literally just get it and um all our other stuff bonus episode we talked about love island this week on the bonus episode i know a lot of people are watching love island And it's all everyone was talking about in New York.

3:19Ben Mandelker: So hear what we have to say from the first week. It's on our Patreon feed. So with that all being said, let us now move to the cheeriest place in all of America.

3:30Ronnie Karam: The Valley. The Val. Here we go. Season 3, episode 11. Friendships shaken, not stood.

3:39Ben Mandelker: Eww. Well, the episode opens up with a line that you would expect the Valley to open up with. I bought you spaghetti. So it is Janet arriving.

3:50Ronnie Karam: Janet, this is why you were left off the meal train. Now, listen, we were talking about meal trains because Brittany is getting a mommy makeover meal train. All the front. Neo is going to organize it. Everybody's going to bring Brittany a meal. We had a whole discussion about meal trains, how there needs to be a meal train judge saying you cannot bring this food. It's too shitty. Listen, someone just had surgery. You're bringing spaghetti. Come on. And I should have. I should have known Janet was going to bring fucking spaghetti.

4:17Ben Mandelker: in a bag in a big in a big and it's probably just some cheap generic store brand tomato sauce

4:25Ronnie Karam: but not even janet i would have respected way more if you'd brought her a casserole because that's your thing you're a cast you're a midwestern casserole queen bring her the casserole

4:34Ben Mandelker: i actually am a little shocked that she did not make a casserole but also this is britney she's like whoa that's fancy you brought me spaghetti wow i feel like i'm right transported to venice what am i in france he brought me spaghetti wow put me on a gondola and send me down a canal i'm transported to italy

5:00Ronnie Karam: she's like yeah i brought you spaghetti i don't have a cute container to put it in so this is what we're down to it's a bag and so lala's with her and like oh my god britney you look so good and yeah you got really down much right now but it's gonna look good i'm gonna

5:14Ben Mandelker: look real good when i'm done yeah and they're like oh wow and you know your drains look almost clear yeah they're almost clear they're gonna get clear i look here my balls here are the balls i mean the amount of times she points out her little drain balls hi everyone my drain balls are here they're blow that one's got a little chunk in it wait a second that's me mom's beer cheese yeah i you

5:34Ronnie Karam: know what your show is hard enough to watch this season without having to watch your drainage balls put them at all times you know sometimes it's okay to hide some things from the camera

5:45Ben Mandelker: yeah seriously hi how's jason doing okay oh well you know he's been up and down and he's worried about missing stuff and losing all his muscles you know stupid boy stuff like that you know oh god well he's not gonna lose his muscles she's like i know right stupid they're talking about

6:01Ronnie Karam: brandon and how he was only here one night and a half and uh britney's like well he keeps changing in the night. He's supposed to be coming tonight and staying until Monday. And then whenever he was here, he was like, I can't come till Friday. And we find out that she's upset because she's been paying him to take off work and do this. Have you read this guy's tweets or whatever he's putting out there?

6:22Ben Mandelker: No, I haven't. I think you told me about that.

6:25Ronnie Karam: Yeah, he's tweeting like, wow, would you guys be mad at a woman for taking money from a guy? Because that seems to be okay with everybody. I mean, she's on a TV show. She makes more money. So if she's going to give me money, I'm going to take it what am i an idiot no yes a fucking loser okay you're a loser and a user and

6:44Ben Mandelker: a boozer okay yeah and like don't try to do a what about with this situation you she gave you the money to come take care of her and you didn't do that you didn't hold up like your end of the bargain trophy wives know that when they're given money like there's things that they they uphold on their end as well.

7:03Ronnie Karam: Yeah, you got to do what you're being paid for. I mean, Jesus Christ, not even showing up. Like, he's taking the money and then still going to work, she says. So why is she paying you?

7:13Ben Mandelker: Yeah, exactly. So she says, there are very few times in life where I say we have to make something about me, but if I'm coming out of major surgery where I cannot even go to the bathroom by myself, then yeah, it should be about me. And you're my boyfriend, and you can't take care of me for three days.

7:29Ronnie Karam: you need to get over here and stare at these training balls with me what am I doing this love for give the money to someone like who's actually qualified to be there that guy won't even help you when he's there he's like yeah you can have Zully help you or whatever he was saying last week yeah

7:44Ben Mandelker: she's garbage so now we go to

7:46Ronnie Karam: I thought this relationship would last a little bit longer than this a little bit Brittany loves a guy like this I thought it was going to go through the season loser I mean I thought it would at least be two years

7:58Ben Mandelker: but i was very impressed over the course of this episode that um she kicked him to the curb i was like okay she is learning she like her timelines are shrinking which is good i mean she kicked him to a curb holding a bag of money but you know yeah still i yeah so jesse we go over to lacy and jesse and they're at the farmer's market um by the grove and uh i i mean lacy really does amuse me because she really is such a great cloud but in a funny way like she has she's always has like over oversized sunglasses she's like rigid she's looking around this farmer's market like ew they've got counters of food this is disgusting oh no a donut what a child i'm

8:38Ronnie Karam: here on purpose she's like i'm so stimulated there's so much food do you know what i need a pickle she goes ew no i want to hold their baby because she sees uh luke and kristen coming with baby and jesse's like she wants to hold the baby he's like no only your baby well because she says

9:00Ben Mandelker: i want a baby and he's like whoa you want to have a baby no i just want to hold a baby so then uh hey it's me we're here at the farmer's market so then uh christen it turns out has a good relationship with the pickle man who serves pickles at the farmer's market so the producer asks her uh why does she love pickles so much because why doesn't everyone love pickles so much like what did pickles do to other people what's wrong with that and it cuts to lacy saying i hate pickles they just gross me out i don't care if it's a pickle handpicked by god i don't like pickles

9:31Ronnie Karam: yeah we learned a lot about kristen today big pickle fan guys all the kristen stands out there now you know yep huge pickle fans a big deal huge so also a lacy fan she's like i could rattle off on my like hands like how many things i think lacy's grayed out okay like i her hate for pickles makes me question our friendship i love pickles how did we not know this about kristin before

9:58Ben Mandelker: uh so then we cut back to britney and she's like and by the way i haven't heard from danny or nia since the surgery and janet's like but they're leaving public comments right yeah public comments on my Instagram posts, but neither one of them has reached out to me. Which is funny since Nia started a meal train, but she hasn't actually reached out to say, how are you doing?

10:21Ronnie Karam: Yeah. Or, yeah, or do the meal train. She didn't do the meal train either. We find out later.

10:27Ben Mandelker: Yeah, the meal train. People of the world, it's a meal train. Yeah. Come on.

10:32Ronnie Karam: And Gianna's like, well, I would think so. I mean, it seems like she's trying to do a lot of things to look like she's being a good friend but like why not actually be a good friend by stopping by or calling or making something as

10:43Ben Mandelker: fancy as spaghetti i dented my forehead three times making the spaghetti on my low hanging hood over my stove so lala goes well because if we've learned anything it's not about real life

10:57Ronnie Karam: it's about the look of things and uh britney's like well i tried to point that out in santa barbara last year and it did not go over well it's getting like ridiculous and i like that they kept showing these clips because they're really, in my opinion, I don't know that we agree on this, but I think they're really trying to rewrite this whole Santa Barbara thing. I mean, that guy was drunk. He went to bed. I obviously have said it before. I approve of people removing themselves from situations when they're acting like an idiot. So I didn't mind that. And Brittany was mad that she's going through everything on camera, but they can't talk about Danny being a drunk, which I get her point like that's more clear now for sure but i also feel like jacks was such a druggie and a loser like that guy was really aggressively being terrible and everybody's life doesn't have to be ruined the same way just because jacks is terrible i felt like it was a weird it was a weird comparison then to make it was a weird comparison for her to make then and i think it's still a little weird i mean jacks is on a whole other level yeah well jacks is like cutting to britney's crazy face like i'll talk about everything i talk about everything we can't talk about your husband

12:08Ben Mandelker: having a nap well i think yeah jacks is bottom of the barrel but i think again i think it's really just that like jacks is drunk or druggy all that stuff but he does it in like he does it more or less at the same pace as everyone else at over the course of the social engagement whereas danny danny like it's like why you're we didn't even make it to dinner you already passed out because you came in you drank so hard so quickly and then you passed got yourself passed out like what is wrong with you like be an adult and it's like it's like oh no no he's just he needs a nap that's like like i get it i get it it's like okay like why don't you like you're you're like older like you should know how to drink at the pace of everyone else in the group i'm sorry oh no he's

12:53Ronnie Karam: like a 13 year old you know yeah i mean what is like this guy he's embarrassing get it together seriously i'm like still so mad that he passed out yeah he's he's you know he's a loser as well i just i just that thing in santa barbara was britney wanting everybody to be just as angry at this guy for going to sleep after drinking too much as they were with jacks who was like an abusive drunk coke head ruining her life every day and i think it was just a little projecting but that sounds like i'm standing up for danny and i don't ever want to be in that place because i hate the guy no yeah yeah awkward awkward place to be welcome to a valley welcome welcome to that

13:34Ben Mandelker: episode welcome to the nuances terrible the many nuances of the valley we're saying anything

13:39Ronnie Karam: positive about one person means you're all or saying anything negative about one person means are automatically standing up for another terrible fucking person.

13:48Ben Mandelker: Yeah, it's not zero sum. It's zero dumb. Jesse, back at the pickles, Jesse's like, so I had dinner with Tom and Danny the other day, and then we got onto the Danny conversation. It's like, I'm drawing a line in the sand in front of me, unless it costs anything, in which case we'll just pretend the line's there.

14:06Ronnie Karam: I'm hiring someone to draw a line in the sand, and then I'm going to make Michelle pay for it for the rest of her life.

14:12Ben Mandelker: It's going to cost$300 ,000. uh and here's the line it's with danny and his drinking like people want to talk about drinking let's talk about my drinking you know what i mean let's stop talking about danny's christian's like yeah let's talk about anyone's other than lala of course all right for the 900th time this season

14:30Ronnie Karam: it's not about his drinking it's about his abusive shitty behavior while he's drinking and then using the drinking as an excuse to get out of the behavior you know danny wants to be like oh why is it always about my drinking well if it's not then why are you always using your drinking as an excuse to get out of your bad behavior. So that's what you do every time. Well, I'm sorry. I had a little drink.

14:50Ben Mandelker: Yeah, I was a bit drunk. You know, the alcohol got the best of me.

14:53Ronnie Karam: What are you going to do? A boom.

14:56Ben Mandelker: A boom. So Lacey's like, I'm sick of everyone attacking Danny who is like the best communicator, the best parent. I mean, the way he sends off a cease and desist, I can only dream that mine looked that good. And Jesse's like, he's like, yeah, I mean, you haven't seen Dark Side Danny come out, but, and it is a character for sure. She goes, I understand that, but I've seen dark side everyone. I've seen dark side Brittany. I'm so nice to Brittany. And I'm not talking about her at Yamashiro last year. So we have this, they show this footage again when Michelle and Brittany yelled at her, which I wish they would show more than like that one second of footage.

15:31Ben Mandelker: Can we like see the full clip? And Lacey's like, at Yamashiro, Brittany and Michelle, the way they screamed at me was just so unwarranted and mean girl like if we're gonna talk who has the worst behavior drunk those two screaming the effort in my face is much worse than danny being annoying and belligerent i'm like but you were their enemy he was being belligerent to his wife that's true yeah i don't think there's any standing up for

15:56Ronnie Karam: danny in this um but also i don't think they were her enemies i will michelle was but britney coming and screaming in this girl's face isn't cool either and we've seen like britney acting like drunk fool for fucking years they're right about that but again it's not about danny's drinking it's about danny being abusive to his fucking wife i feel like have we seen britney being like belligerent though yes oh my gosh i'm just trying to remember i don't remember i don't remember her

16:26Ben Mandelker: being i'm trying i've seen her getting we've seen her get emotional or cry but i mean mostly it's

16:31Ronnie Karam: against jacks but jacks always deserves it so we're always on her side when she's done it i think for the most part. But yeah, I thought she acted like an ass in Santa Barbara because she looked drunk and coked out of her mind. And they show her looking crazy here, doing it as well. So, I mean, I don't know.

16:49Ben Mandelker: They really should show more footage from this fight. I mean, I think

16:53Ronnie Karam: the point that they all act like drunk idiots because this is a Vanderpump Rules spinoff is an accurate one. They all do kind of act like drunk idiots, but that's not the point. Yeah, it's not that they drink. It's just making me crazy that they keep making it that. So, Jesse's like, yeah, I'll tell you one thing. I mean, Jack's saying last year that he was coming after them. You can't tell me that Britney wasn't on board with that. Britney wanted to come after them, too. And I watched her reaction to how you guys and Chris was like, yo, that was like a Jack solo project to me, I think. I don't think that was Britney.

17:24Ronnie Karam: And he's like, yeah, but Britney's yelling at Nia, saying, look at what I'm going through, and you won't share, and you won't even say your husband's upstairs drunk. And he's like, all right, well.

17:34Ben Mandelker: So now he's

17:34Ronnie Karam: I was making this all Britney. Like, Britney is just as Jax.

17:38Ben Mandelker: Yeah, of course, because Jesse's a Jax loyalist. So Luke is like, you can't be with someone for 10 years without picking up something about them, you know? I think that everything that happened in Santa Barbara was just Britney being in her feelings about Jax and deflecting. Because honestly, I just think that Britney finds Danny to be annoying. And I think Janet is the bug in Britney's ear. And I also understand why Jesse might think it's Jax, but I don't. So this is Janet's fault, everyone.

18:02Ronnie Karam: Yes.

18:06Ronnie Karam: but why can't janet be terrible and jacks be terrible britney is her own terrible she's her own form of terrible like just come after britney for shit she did britney didn't do any of this with danny danny is literally the one who did all this stuff on camera two weeks ago why are we acting like this is britney's fault this is weird it's bizarre behavior so uh now we go to zach and jasmine going to short stories zach cracked me up in this scene because he was giving

18:35Ben Mandelker: a different exaggerated emotional response every three seconds he was like the moment he was like smiling and then he was like frowning then crying then laughing it was like i'm like i'm gonna take a little i'm gonna make a little video of like a super cut of all of his different emotions in the span of 30 seconds in this stupid bar yeah he starts his like gay best friend like oh my god

18:54Ronnie Karam: is there something you want to tell me

18:57Ben Mandelker: she's like um i don't know maybe we need shots and i've just been really stressed out i've been getting all these quotes from vendors vendors vendors sell things sell things like refrigerators refrigerators made me think of like the monster fridge and oh my god the monster fridge oh my god

19:09Ronnie Karam: i'm like not over at all no she's like i'm gonna have to start selling feet pics at this point this is ridiculous he's like oh my god you have beautiful feet i mean i wouldn't buy them but

19:19Ben Mandelker: like yeah they're great please don't let this be the setup for jasmine taking photos of her feet for a fake only fan storyline like we had a banner pump rules that one time like please please please yeah it didn't work there yeah so jasmine says she's talking about how like the jersey wedding's out of control and melissa's related to like the whole state and you know they need their parents are helping them out with this so she says so i have a toast i love you so much you know that you're my best friend and I need you by my side and I would love it if you would be part of me and Melissa's wedding.

19:51Ben Mandelker: He's like, oh my God, am I the maid of honor? She's like, no, no, I'm not doing that. I've just been so stressed. I basically just need you to be the gay person that I throw a whole bunch of things at and then you have to do them.

20:02Ronnie Karam: Yeah. And he's like, I accept. I've never been a maid of honor. It's like a lot of responsibility. I don't want to do that anyway.

20:09Ben Mandelker: yeah so uh basically jasmine is under pressure and you know it's like oh my god is it they've been here for 10 years they go to north they go to the carolinas whatever she's just it's like

20:19Ronnie Karam: wedding stress so she's like okay your turn he's like oh my god have you read the news like it's terrible they're deporting everybody i'm like i was like i have to marry benji now in order for this to work like what the hell and so we see news headlines um requiring a hundred thousand dollar payment to accompany any new hb1 visa petitions yeah this is the crazy thing they

20:41Ben Mandelker: like raised that from like a few thousand to like a hundred thousand dollars which is just give trump a million dollars just absurd yeah so basically zach is saying isn't that what it is like there's

20:52Ronnie Karam: a million dollars you can buy like a golden visa or something super i don't i don't know about that

20:57Ben Mandelker: but i know this is like affects like you know academics which is like you know what you know know what's great is when we make sure smart people don't come to this country um it's like what the hell bro so um uh that but this is gonna like affect Benji because he is Canadian so Zach is like I mean how the are you gonna be here unless I marry you and Jasmine Jasmine says like don't let that discourage you and you know like you know your relationship is not done it's not over you guys love each other you'll make like wait I'm not gonna cry I'm not gonna cry like the full waving of the hand look it's a little bump in your plant what was that

21:36Ronnie Karam: about a bump okay look okay i'm not gonna cry uh first the monster fridge now benji oh it's time

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21:58Ronnie Karam: It's called age, Ben. Okay. It's age.

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24:49Ronnie Karam: so now we get another zach scene this time he's meeting danny at serendipity and danny's like whoa how's it go man pop out hey danny fun danny oh my god oh it's good good like how are you doing

25:04Ben Mandelker: i can't believe it's your 10 year anniversary yeah 10 year wedding anniversary man yeah um shouldn't we be in a diamond store instead like no offense it's like very cute in here but

25:17Ronnie Karam: like should be a diamond tour well i already got something i already got something i said when are you gonna open your goddamn gift and i was like sorry i was drinking sorry my bad so they're

25:28Ben Mandelker: gonna they're looking for gifts for nia there's a crystal that danny likes etc and uh no danny there's some hand lotion or they're just lotion in general and so danny is like yeah and job by the way lotion is called hand job that's right on yeah then by the way this place is like very bougie. It's kind of like anthropology adjacent, but they have this hand job lotion. And Danny is like, yeah, after I get this vasectomy, I'm going to be using this a lot. You know, got to do it 35 times. 35 under 35. Yeah.

25:58Ronnie Karam: Yeah. So they're going to, he's going to do his vasectomy next week. But the problem is Nia is judging Miss USA that week. What am I going to do with that? Or I'm going show low, dough low. Yeah.

26:11Ben Mandelker: I'm a little worried about post vasectomy recovery with having these three kids. I mean, Nia's taking the baby, but she's also taking her mother, my mother-in-law, who is supposed to be taking care of me. What's going on? Do you have anyone that you can call in for help? Come on now.

26:27Ronnie Karam: Yeah. Wow. You don't have any friends or anybody to call on? That's crazy. I'm shocked. Also, I don't think this is a big recovery.

26:35Ben Mandelker: I don't think so either. I think it's like a two-day recovery. Speaking of birthdays, by the way, I've seen i've been saying that like we should all do a trip for something like because tom me you jason we all have birthdays within five days of each other and like as much as i don't want to share my birthday with someone i feel like it would be really fun if we do went to like i don't know

26:55Ronnie Karam: mexico or something like that you know yeah excuse for a trip so time to go on a trip he's like well you're gonna invite janet because you're best friends with janet now obviously he's like oh that's cute danny that's really cute but like actually i think that like janet is realizing she doesn't want to be that person she was actually being. And now she just wants to be a person who like brings people spaghetti.

27:19Ben Mandelker: Yeah. Well, it's going to take a lot of time, a whole lot of precious time, a whole lot of patience and time to do it, to do it, to do it, to do it, to do it, to do it right. And I'm fine with her being there, but she's just, you know, you know, she's kind of like out of shot, out of mind. She like, look, she would look around for more, more gifts. I don't want to talk about Jan anymore. Is there going to be food at this 007 party that Tom's throwing?

27:41Ronnie Karam: by the way and he's like oh my god if it's schwartz it's gonna be pizza or postmates i think it's gonna be more of an alcoholic party i mean that's no worry for you because

27:50Ben Mandelker: you don't drink right like you didn't drink at my house right no of course not no no sure didn't i do feel bad for this cast it's gonna be two weeks in a row we're going to uh janky janky frat boy party basically is like zach's empty monster fridge-less living room and now

28:12Ronnie Karam: schwartz's uh townhome i know i thought this show was supposed to be about people like moving and growing up like that just moving now just keep the same shitty locales you know uh so lala goes to tom's townhouse for a wacky lala and tom scene god the chemistry is crazy those two should get

28:33Ben Mandelker: together i know amazing how we started tom scene and i immediately without even any sort of like trying to make a joke i just started to yawn so uh she comes over and she's checking out the place and he's like oh yeah it looks a little fratty here i'm way behind he goes i ordered like 500 dollars worth of decorations you know for 007 i was like should i grill should i cater what should i

28:57Ronnie Karam: do i'm scared i'm a little boy she's like i'm the wrong person to ask because i don't like doing thinks i'm an outsourcer so whatever so he's watched casino real royale recently so he you know i want to have a james bond style party you know i just i just wish i had a little james bond in me maybe i could be like james bond if he were a little boy yeah i think the polar opposite of

29:23Ben Mandelker: james bond is tom schwartz i will say that much um lala then lala's pointing out the fact that jacks is like right next door like he's on the other end of like the little the little fence that's there and she's like ew i don't want to look at that and tom says i know this party's gonna be a little uncomfortable with britney being that i literally share you know a wall with jacks but like she's never been over here and he's out of town and i want her just to come and not be triggered by the proximity just be in the moment have some fun at my james bond party oh so lala

29:56Ronnie Karam: sees a note uh from kiana who's a model you guys i don't know if you've heard the note has like sunglasses down to its nose it's like yeah i love you kiana and she's like oh my god we're saying love you to each other like what the oh my god tom i'm losing you it's adorable okay i am like

30:15Ben Mandelker: really into tom and kiana like what do the kids say i'm shipping that like do they still say that like i don't know i'm like into it because she's hot and i'm only into like hot people you know It's like, by the way, I had dinner with Danny and Jesse and we, we ate in the valley. It's, it's by the bar formerly known as Jack's his old spot.

30:34Ronnie Karam: Why would you get to that place? Wasn't that place gross enough before it was even Jack's his spot? Rock.

30:40Ben Mandelker: They ate by the bar, but they didn't eat.

30:45Ronnie Karam: Who does that? Who goes to Rocco's on purpose?

30:48Ben Mandelker: Wow. Look at you guys building bars and then making them go out of business.

30:53Ronnie Karam: And he's like, oh my God, you're right. Yeah, it was nice. But then Jesse was like, you know, we know Danny's not an alcoholic. And, you know, you don't have a drinking problem, Danny. And the fact that you're hiding your drinking, that makes it much worse. Yeah, it makes it much more like an alcoholic. What non-alcoholic hides their drinking from everybody? Yeah. Sneaks around. That's crazy.

31:14Ben Mandelker: Lala says, the moment you're hiding alcohol, it's a problem. He goes, oh, for sure. But now you got to add some nuance to it. because if everyone knows me, I'm a man known for nuance. So he and Nia are traumatized from whatever happened last year, and I think that they had a conversation like, listen, if you're going to drink, just be very subtle about it. You know, inconspicuous. Don't be fragrant with your drinking.

31:39Ronnie Karam: Don't be fragrant. Fragrant?

31:43Ben Mandelker: I don't want to smell your non-drinking. Gin and tonics only.

31:49Ronnie Karam: She's like, oh, wait. so wait you're fine with like being drinking and being inappropriate you're just saying to hide it better and he's like well he said he left that shit behind him he's come a long way he's a

32:00Ben Mandelker: different person now she's like from since san diego i was like i was like what the fuck is happening on this show i'm so excited to join this show and these people are all disasters

32:13Ronnie Karam: oh yeah it's like here i am all these years later and here's tom schwartz enabling another fucking terrible man shocker yeah so he's like you know the last thing i said to danny was danny you can drink as much as you want in my party well i was like she's like great good job tom

32:33Ben Mandelker: so now it's a commercial break and when we come back um lala and janet are at britney's uh that's before the party they're gonna like help her get ready and they're asking like what does she need and everything and britney's saying that you know she can't live more than 15 pounds um and she has a lot of anxiety about going to this party because it's right next to jack's place and just even like seeing it makes her feel a certain sort of way because she's only seen it on videos but she's

32:58Ronnie Karam: never actually been to it yeah and um so lala's like wow even jason's coming to this like everyone's rallying so hard for this party like you guys schwartz is fully in love with his girlfriend by the way there's notes on this fridge from her that say like i love you well brandon left

33:16Ben Mandelker: money a couple of notes that i love you around my house but like i don't believe any of that which by the way this is i have to i i'm really enjoying jaded britney i feel like it's taken us many years but like brandon seems to be the straw that broke the camel's back she is just so over brandon and i'm like oh yeah britney enter like i want to see the transition from Brittany being like, sorry, Miss Kentucky Moffin, to just like, fuck those men and all the things that they do. I'm sick of cleaning up after them because that's going to be fun.

33:45Ronnie Karam: So Janet's like, what happened with Brandon? Because all I know is you texted me last night to unfollow him, which I did. Brittany is so, that's so a high school thing. Like, okay, everybody, group text, unfollow Brandon. Okay, like who cares? Who even thinks that? So she's like, well, we got into it the other night And then we were both like, I don't think we can do this anymore. And then I got a DM from his ex-wife. And you're DMing with his ex-wife too? What the hell? And she's like, well, she told me her daughter, who's four, told her that she hung out at another, that he hung out at another, oh no, that she hung out at another girl's house.

34:24Ronnie Karam: And that Brandon had already been FaceTiming with another girl. Janet's like, what?

34:29Ben Mandelker: Yeah. And I just was like losing it. I just was like, honestly, this is too much. and he asked me for money many times and Lala's like, did he really? He's like, yeah, yeah. I was like, oh my God, why did you not tell us this? Because I didn't want to embarrass him. Look at this man, he's a sweet man from Basso Robles, I don't want to embarrass this guy. I know I gave him money a couple times and he took off two weekends to come help me and then he asked me to give him money since he was taking off work to come help me and then I was like, sure, since you're coming to help me, I don't want your kids to suffer, you know what I'm saying?

34:58Ben Mandelker: Like, whatever, stuff like that doesn't really bother me. I just didn't push kids.

35:02Ronnie Karam: I'm doing all big keys to sell for

35:04Ben Mandelker: I'll let the children of the future Feed them beer cheese and let them prosper

35:10Ronnie Karam: And Lala's like Yeah, there's no question in my mind That she has a lot of work to do Before she moves on to somebody new Because her self-esteem She's going to just attract the wrong kind of dudes We're watching it happen in real time

35:24Ben Mandelker: Yeah So Janet's like You should never have given a man money And Lala's like, yeah, Brittany you're not going to give a man money it's never gonna happen again fucking ridiculous by the way i have to take my ranger over to the shop that i got a few years ago so britney's like like it does talk that all this is happening while i'm in the middle of recovering from a really hard

35:45Ronnie Karam: surgery oh god i mean it's true but why are you counting on brandon get rid of this man and get

35:51Ben Mandelker: a nurse you're nuts she did well that's why i'm glad she did she fired him yeah she did so gotta

35:56Ronnie Karam: to give credit where credit is yeah exactly uh so tom is still setting up his 007 party and his brother bert's there and he's like wow look at you bert you look so dark and mysterious he's like yeah i like it bert does not look dark and mysterious i'd like to point out like a little boy he's like i really do don't i he's wearing like a little hat with a propeller

36:22Ben Mandelker: on top there's also nothing about this space that looks like a double oh seven party it's just a generic townhome i mean it's like like pepsi cans around it's just starring double zero like it's just sad i mean how are you like you owned a bar and you couldn't even put together a bar program for this what's happening oh that's true i mean sandwich a little about sandoval drink list all

36:48Ronnie Karam: All you had to do was call, you know, Logan or somebody.

36:51Ben Mandelker: Come on. Get someone up there in tux. I mean, say what you will about Sandoval, but Sandoval would have made it look like a 007 movie in there for sure. Whoa. You know he would have. Well, he would have been annoying about it. It's like, dude, we're going to walk in. It's like we're walking through the barrel of the gun that shoots James Bond. And then when you get up to the second floor, it's like, oh my God, I feel like I'm in the octopussy itself. Okay. And then like up here, it's like there's like a hat and that you have to watch out for the hat when it gets thrown at you because it's going to chop your head off.

37:16Ben Mandelker: And then Jaws is up here on this floor. you're like okay bro just like set up a martini station so uh people start arriving jasmine comes

37:24Ronnie Karam: zach comes he's like what is this a therapist office you literally have white noise machines at the bottom of the stairs that's so the dogs bark less at the neighbors you mean jacks

37:37Ben Mandelker: and so they get to the top and benji has brought like a little stuffed like a little plushie that he's treating as a cat yeah it's like stroking it like a cat you know which is cute and then um michelle and lala arrive with jason and janet so jason has to take his crutches up the stairs and uh he's like hey guys i'm here i'm only here for a minute because as soon as like we get to uh capacity of seven people i have to leave right away otherwise my leg may fall off

38:06Ronnie Karam: uh so then uh jesse comes uh he and lacy arrive at the party and he's like hey listen if we're going to do a James Bond theme, that starts from the ground up. Aston Martin, martini shaken, not stirred, tuxedo. Well, glad you have a rich girlfriend to provide all that because you'd be wearing a bike and some old Navy pants otherwise.

38:25Ben Mandelker: The fact that you're making Michelle Lolly pay for half the loan that you took out privately, but you're showing up with a rented Aston Martin is so despicable. And Lacey's like, if I was throwing a 007 party, I would have hired ballet. I think that's important I would have I like that sounds like the first priority is valet James Bond always has valet

38:44Ronnie Karam: In like a little neighborhood in the valley

38:47Ben Mandelker: Yeah Like Woodman Avenue or something Yes I would have some type of Men in seats greeting you at the door with champagne Fair Obviously champagne Not Prosecco or sparkling I would have a bartender making drinks Fair Vesper martini If it's a Bond theme Because it's on brand I don't drink Vesper martinis though But I would have had some sort of a tray pass with some food and hors d 'oeuvres. He did great. He did his best. You know what? She's honestly not wrong. All of her notes, I don't know if the valet was necessary, but all the other notes, she's honestly 100 % correct. There should have been champagne.

39:19Ben Mandelker: There should have been martinis. Vesper martinis shows deep cut awareness of the brand. And I think we have to listen to Lacey more with these theme parties because Tom Schwartz is a little bit lost at sea here.

39:30Ronnie Karam: So Michelle sees Jesse in his text and she's like, I wonder if that is his wedding, Doug. It probably is, snigger, snigger, snigger. I am also wearing something from our wedding. I had my wedding ring turned into a necklace. I wonder if he will notice.

39:48Ben Mandelker: Well, I was like, well, I'm not going to see anything. Jesse usually notices everything, but this necklace is for me. I actually prefer if Jesse doesn't even notice it whatsoever. ever.

40:00Ronnie Karam: Which is why you're wearing it to a party with Jesse there. Prominently featured. And Lala's like, well, I can tell you, she sent me a picture of this, and I was like, do not put it on and send me a picture. I want to see it in persons. And Jen's like, oh my god, does he know you're wearing your wedding brand to your neck hat? And so they're oohing and aahing over that. And that is a big gem.

40:23Ben Mandelker: It is a big gem. So then Zach is saying how he's excited for Mexico. He's basically saying guys we're gonna do a little getaway to mexico and the main event is gonna be my birthday but like i will allow other men to have their birthdays too so like mexico trip and uh they're all excited for that and now nia and danny arrive and uh danny's like well i think you shared you were gonna make me a special martini right tom he's like yeah filthy one hey hello first my god

40:52Ronnie Karam: for someone who's trying to make their whole storyline about people worrying about his drinking The first thing he's like, hi, everybody. You're going to make me a special drink, right?

41:02Ben Mandelker: It's supposed to be three times the size of normal, right? But I'm drinking in half the time. Okay, get ready for me. I'm ready. Daddy's ready.

41:10Ronnie Karam: All right, everybody. Well, I don't want him to feel ashamed if he has a cocktail, okay? Because he's been encastigated and he's ashamed. So let the man just have a drink.

41:19Ben Mandelker: Who tore his balls off? What? You said he got castigated. That's a different word, Christian. Oh, sorry. I love pickles.

41:28Ronnie Karam: So Lala's like, oh my God, Schwartz, we just had a conversation about this. I think Schwartzy definitely is an apologist for bad behavior, especially with his dude's friends. We've been watching it for years.

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43:10Ronnie Karam: hi it's mark bittman from the podcast food with mark bittman it's grilling season and whole foods Market has everything you need, from their 365 brand ground meat to the New York strips and ribeyes. There are also grill-ready beef and chicken kebabs and house-made sausages. Yum. All the meat at Whole Foods Market is no antibiotics ever, and all of the seafood is either responsibly farmed or sustainable wild-caught. So fire up that grill and get all of this and more at your local Whole Foods Market for in-store shopping as well as pickup and delivery.

43:51Ben Mandelker: now uh we see uh jan is talking to lacy and asking about gambling and lacy's like i'm a professional gambler roulette mainly the the one game that requires the most skill roulette jesse and i have

44:04Ronnie Karam: i was gonna say is there such a thing as a professional roulette player i'm a professional

44:09Ben Mandelker: picking a number player and jesse and i've been to vegas many times and i'll go rogue and he'll find me with the whole table cheering and when i lose i just like walk away but because sometimes you do lose but not me but i walk away when you force me to go to bed i don't know what i'm

44:23Ronnie Karam: talking about please someone end the scene for me yeah lacy's storytelling is a little wonky for sure so britney comes it's like oh my god so strange being here because it's like an exact copy of jackson hiles and she's wearing one of those sweatshirts that has a tuxedo printed on the front she's like yeah up the stairs like oh god takes her four minutes no one's there to help

44:43Ben Mandelker: her i feel like tom should really love me because not only am i fresh out of surgery and i'm in a lot of pain but i'm coming to this house for the first time ever in one year knowing that jack lives right next door and he should know that i'm a really great friend to him so um they're like

45:01Ronnie Karam: wow britney look at you walking around and jesse's like oh guess what i just noticed someone's wearing their ring around their neck she turned it into a fucking necklace well i wanted to do a trust for isabella's college and here she is wearing it out in the valley oh yeah jesse you who took out a 300 million dollar loan and saddled your wife and child with that money yeah don't don't don't do

45:26Ben Mandelker: that don't do that um so now britney michelle uh they britney and michelle go to talk with janet and Tom and Lala. So Tom is like, oh my god, Brett, this is great to see you. You made up the stairs. Oh my god, she made up two flights of stairs. Wow, it's crazy. Oh my god, look at me. I got lipstick on my teeth. I can never do my makeup, you know. Oh hey, does anyone want to see my sacks? Here's my drainage sacks. Here they are. Here's my drainage ball sacks, okay, everybody?

45:55Ronnie Karam: This is the only second time I've even left my house. You know I love you, Tom, okay? So then Zach's like, wait a minute, Where's Jax? Because he's on the patio upstairs. And he's like, I want to go poo-poo and pee-pee over there. I'm going to throw a Molotov cocktail.

46:12Ben Mandelker: And Jesse's like, well, there's a lot more going over there than Schwartz has over here. So then Brittany is still talking to Zach.

46:21Ronnie Karam: Nia, I have to say this because this is funny. Nia sees Benji, who's like petting the little animal thing. She's like, what is that? He goes, well, I needed something, you know, because it's like, Mr. Bigglesworth but I didn't have a cat okay but you had a lamb

46:41Ronnie Karam: Nia doesn't get it at all she's just like oh wow that is so funny Nia you have never seen Hittons Bond have you

46:50Ben Mandelker: she has she hasn't even seen Austin Powers because she has no idea I mean it's also funny that Benji like can't find like a stuffed cat and so it's just like has a lamb upside down and just buried the lamb head in his arm and just like petting its butt It's like, well, it looks for people just don't have to look closely. They'll see. There's no face. Um, so, uh, anyway, uh, Zach is like, um, what's going on with Brendan? And she's where I was already thinking about the longest. It wasn't going to work. And then we didn't talk for like a couple of days because we got an argument. And his ex said, he's already been talking to someone.

47:20Ben Mandelker: So I called him like three or four times and we had not talked to other than like texting. And then we had a big fight and then finally answered. And I was like, what the fuck is going on? So we started fighting. And then I was like, this ain't going to work. I'm done. Goodbye. I don't believe you. You're not the person I thought you were. And that's it.

47:34Ronnie Karam: Then he asked me for some money. So I sent him the$1 ,000.

47:38Ben Mandelker: I'm the same person I am.

47:41Ronnie Karam: And Janet goes, Zach, give it, give it like an hour before you say, I told you so. And he goes, I would never. And then it cuts to him going, told you so. Told you so. Told you so then. Told you so now. Told you so again. Told you, told you, told you.

47:57Ben Mandelker: Guys, thank you for coming. I love you guys. you all look fucking ravishing they're like thanks

48:04Ronnie Karam: and Brittany's like wait a minute look at Jax's balcony those are my hooter stools over there wait a minute those are my old implants how did he even get those this ain't fire

48:15Ben Mandelker: can you believe like it's crazy that Jax has her hooter stools

48:20Ronnie Karam: he's such a pig even not being here he can be such a pig like be prominently displaying her hard earned hooter stools

48:30Ben Mandelker: guys a trad wife would like to speak um i'm sorry that i totally failed at the meal train christian sent me money and i'm sending food out tomorrow but other than that i think it failed but the intention was there like well i'm glad that glad that britney will be finally getting a meal a week later when she's now mobile and can get her own food thank you very much yeah this is

48:55Ronnie Karam: pretty bad. Just say the meal train. You were the one who started the meal train. You were the one who made a big deal out of the meal train. And then you were the one who fucked up the whole meal train and didn't even do it. That's a user behavior.

49:06Ben Mandelker: No, the meal train it's not that it got fucked up. It's just that it started in Santa Clarita and still just has not arrived at the valley yet. Just give it a few more days.

49:18Ronnie Karam: So, meanwhile, on the other side of the couch, Michelle's like, Janet, maybe it will be good if you say hello do her. And she's like, oh, God. Well, I mean, how can I change the mood? You know? And Lala's like, I'm just going to say it. Can I say something to us? I find it weird that you didn't put Jenna in a group chat about the meal train for Britney.

49:38Ben Mandelker: What's up? Oh, well, that was a group chat that was around before we even went to Britney's house, and it was probably a week or two before, so we were chatting in that before, and like, I'm sorry I didn't message you specifically or add you to it, but we aren't friends.

49:53Ronnie Karam: Yeah, but she's friends with Britney.

49:55Ben Mandelker: Yeah, but anyone could have sent it to her. Like, why is this being made to be my fault? And I'm the bad guy. It's really simple. You weren't in the group chat. We're not friends. I'm not going to add you in and go out of my way. Like, what's so crazy about this?

50:09Ronnie Karam: I think she's so wrong, Nia.

50:12Ben Mandelker: A hundred percent wrong.

50:13Ronnie Karam: Here I am standing up for Janet again. This was not cool. You're doing charity for somebody else. This isn't the time to bring in your petty bullshit, Nia. And I actually said what Jasmine says later. I was like, nice. There's your Christian. There's that like Bible beating, like overly. And I'm not saying all Christians. I'm just saying like these performative types who are like, I'm such a good person. I'm going to have a meal train. I'm going to do this. And then you're the one who acts like a petty little asshole. it's a charity put somebody else on the thing and then to not even do the meal train like also you

50:45Ben Mandelker: announced it in front of janet you know like i just think it's it's just one of those things

50:50Ronnie Karam: it's a meal train like yeah she announced it like we're all gonna come together as friends

50:54Ben Mandelker: of britney's right guys yeah yes nia you have janet's text like number you add her on it's like it's it's really really petty to like not include her and and if she didn't want to do it she could said someone can you just send this to janet because i just don't even want to have contact with her or whatever but like this was just it just was like it's so stupid but it's also so shitty like it was just we've seen nia go above and beyond in so many situations to be like helpful and be considerate or whatever but like yeah i just think this is this is a failure yeah it just

51:28Ronnie Karam: sucks because you know i like nia for the most part and i feel kind of bad for her and her relationship, but like you're pushing me, you know, you're pushing me at this point. Like you're, you're the one acting like you're above it all. And you're like the, so moral and so kind. And so this, and so be that, you know, walk the walk lady. So he's like, well, I don't know why you expect a lot from me. And Janet's like, I don't, but I just expect if you're making a meal train for Brittany, that you would include me. She's like, well, I'm sorry. I didn't think to include you. If anybody spent 10 minutes in my house, you would understand I'm barely surviving.

52:01Ronnie Karam: And And Jan's like, well, you had time to comment on Instagram about it.

52:06Ben Mandelker: Well, where's your husband helping you barely survive, you know? And so then Jasmine is talking to Danny.

52:13Ronnie Karam: By the way, the four levels of this apartment are so hilarious because they have to keep walking upstairs. You've got Brittany who can't walk. You've got Jason who can't walk. And then Tom, every five minutes, is like, let's go to the next level. I know. All right, let's go down again. They're like, oh, God, please stop torturing me.

52:31Ben Mandelker: so jasmine's talking to danny and she's like why aren't you upstairs he's like i wish it's just about her and janet and i was like i'm walking away because i can't get very involved in this and i don't want to right now nia was very clear with her i didn't add you for a reason we're not friends jasmine's like yeah but britney's getting surgery maybe she should have added her you know like and tom's like yeah for a greater cause yeah i think like she should have added her for that So now we go back and Lala's like, I've seen your Instagram. You're in a glam chair. And I think like, those are moments that you could have like reached out to her and been like, my heart goes out with you.

53:06Ben Mandelker: Like, like I understand you're very busy, but like, if you're in a glam chair, you can add someone's phone number to the meal train website. Okay.

53:13Ronnie Karam: Now the argument is getting a little muddy.

53:16Ben Mandelker: Well, because there's websites.

53:18Ronnie Karam: You have time to go into a glam chair. So you have, you have time to add someone to a meal train.

53:23Ben Mandelker: Well, the thing is this, that's because Nia was the one who's like, you don't understand my life. My life is so difficult. If you spend one moment with me, I've got babies. She's like, you were in a glam chair. That's our way of being like, yeah, we understand you have babies, but also you were in a glam chair.

53:39Ronnie Karam: Yeah, it's like, but I am in a glam chair, but I'm also nursing a baby and I have kids crawling all over me. And Lyssa goes, yeah, I feel like that's her job, you guys, to be in a glam chair with babies on her. We focus on that.

53:55Ben Mandelker: Okay, never mind. So then Jasmine is like, I mean, we just thought it was more like, this is Brittany having surgery and everybody's involved in this thing. We didn't know it was this thing. And Kristen's like, oh, she's not paralyzed. She got a mommy makeover. So Jasmine's like, well, if it's not that big of a deal, why is it that you're the one who actually is the only one who's making food for Brittany, by the way?

54:17Ronnie Karam: Yeah, exactly. Kristen just wants to go so hard for her team that she's not going to be a sneeze. She's not going to be reliable on any of this. So Jasmine's like, I'm just saying, if you're Christian people like you say you are, you need to add that person to group chat. And Danny's like, are you kidding me? Nope. Nope. She said what she said. And I agree. What the fuck's wrong with you? They love it when you pull that shit. Like that's a very Christian behavior. How dare you?

54:47Ben Mandelker: What? Why are you saying that's good Christian people? Wait, wait. What are you talking about? Jasmine's like, because that's what Christians do. You do the right fucking thing. And she's like, jazz, man. She's like, am I wrong? She's like, you are 100 % wrong. Christians do not do the good thing.

55:01Ronnie Karam: I'm not very accused of Christians of doing the right thing. Turn the other cheek unless the other cheek is smacked by a bitch. Then you get her back and cut her off on me on train. Duh.

55:13Ben Mandelker: So then Nia's like, she's like, well, Brittany, you're right. I messaged on Instagram, but I didn't message in person. So to you, I am sorry that I didn't show up how I want to. and I will work on being better because I do care about you deeply, but not deeply enough to add one more person who could have brought you a meal so you wouldn't have to get out of bed and undo all your sutures.

55:32Ronnie Karam: Okay, so at least Nia gave like a decent apology, right? So then Kristen comes tearing up the stairs. She's like, pickles, pickles, pickles. Hey, all right, sorry, I just heard what's happening. Nia tried to go above and beyond. She's like, well, I didn't show up the way I wanted to with the messaging and reaching out. Brittany's like, we just had a good conversation. What are you so mad about, Kristen?

55:53Ben Mandelker: because leaving janet out of it makes sense because like why would neil text janet am i right and lala's like because it wasn't about her it's about britney she's like well you know what though you could have texted janet you could have texted janet any of you without our friends with janet

56:05Ronnie Karam: could have texted janet to like calm down what is that because chris is like oh i'm there you chris is like really going at it like what is wrong with you calm down uh we just i'm tired of people going after neil i'm tired of that calm down babe up here's freaking out listen if someone

56:25Ben Mandelker: came after the people that you guys loved you'd have their fucking back too and he's like nobody's ganging up or anything no so you know so do you know why i came up here do you understand and now you've explained it to me and now she's explained to me and now i understand so she's like yeah you

56:40Ronnie Karam: explained it and you explained it and now i understand okay i understand now i'm not mad you are yeah everybody wants a pitbull until the pitbull's not on their side but then any one of my friends who needs me to back them up they're like get him chris did sick him and then the

56:55Ben Mandelker: second it doesn't appease them they're mad about it yeah that's how yeah that's how pitbulls work

57:01Ronnie Karam: pitbulls are cute until they bite you and then you're like wow i didn't like that pitbull anymore

57:06Ben Mandelker: you know why just in general things that could be weaponized we like them when they're on your side

57:12Ronnie Karam: you don't like them against you that's just how it goes welcome to logic it's like it's like

57:20Ben Mandelker: bazookas people always love bazookas but the moment someone fires one at your head suddenly oh they don't like bazookas anymore it's fine when it's gum so nia's uh oh sorry so michelle's

57:32Ronnie Karam: like i think that people just get triggered when they hear the word janet and janet's like you know what i just feel like i should go if everybody's triggered by me oh god janet look she even tricked

57:42Ben Mandelker: it's true even janet got triggered by her own name janet you're finally in a situation where

57:47Ronnie Karam: we could root for you yeah the times are turning this up she's like i'll find it i'll leave i'll if you're also triggered you don't call your mother on christmas eve really i guess i'll just leave i'm not wanted here anymore and so nia's like i feel like when it comes to jan and i like

58:07Ben Mandelker: like we all like you know like we can actually get to a point where we are civil and polite but never gonna get anywhere if she keeps running away i'm like but you do the same thing nia let's not forget that i mean i honestly everyone on reality tv does this it's like a classic move so janet gets starts to get she moves to some other floor like honestly my my spatial awareness of this townhome is all messed up because i can never tell what floor or what room they are sometimes

58:30Ronnie Karam: they're outside or inside i can't tell and they're all like five square feet so she goes to she goes down saying tom this was lovely and wonderful your place is amazing unfortunately i have been victimized so i'm going to find a cross to crawl on okay thanks for having me and then we see like

58:49Ben Mandelker: the terminator vision and it's like that like green screen and then like a brackets appear around janet's like target acquired janet i found you i love you but you're not gonna be the person who always leaves. You're not going to be the person that everyone's like, there she goes again.

59:07Ronnie Karam: Well, Michelle, when I'm up there and everyone's saying you're not my friend and people are triggered by Janet, oh, remove Janet from group chat. Add me. I'm sick of being treated like I'm a lesser than human being. Well, I have had it. Is there a sea around here? Because I'm going to walk into it with my ankles weighted down and you'll never see me again.

59:27Ben Mandelker: I was trying to help your situation like people get upset when they hear your name she's like but that's and it's treating people like there's a hierarchy and i'm lesser than so you should say that she's like it's not worth it it's not worth it but you think it'll fall on deaf ears she's like what's it gonna do guys hey oh hey guys please treat me with respect as if so then luke is there luke one of

59:54Ronnie Karam: the great minds of this season oh god yeah who we really need to hear from right now fucking luke

59:59Ben Mandelker: He's trying to fish in the sink. And he's like, I don't see a hierarchy. I see it as if I'm still being hurt from what happened last year. And she's like, well, I'm hurt too. Both sides are hurt. He's like, but what did they do to you? She's like, post about my marriage. Post about my husband. Post pictures of me with my face with like a snake. Like I was my face on a snake.

1:00:20Ronnie Karam: And Dom's like, well, but I talked to Danny in the hallway. And just so you know, he's like, she's never apologized to us. She's like, oh, well, okay. well i'm sorry i hurt nia but i'm not really sorry that i talked specifically about what he did and looks like oh yeah well if you're not going to go to danny after making legal allegations about something you didn't witness oh just like well i mean what he did was was bad he's like but you

1:00:43Ben Mandelker: didn't witness it and literally jasmine continues to be the victim of this whole thing and she's like she is the victim but you haven't talked to danny and you said awful things about danny awful I said what I said. I'm sorry that what he did was so bad.

1:00:56Ronnie Karam: Yeah, she's like, I said what he did. He's like, you didn't witness it. It didn't happen if you didn't see it. I was like, what? Luke, shut up. Just go away, Luke. And he's like, you didn't see it. And do you think there's a world in your head where you have this vision of things? And she's like, did you see what Charles Manson did to know that he's a psychopath?

1:01:14Ben Mandelker: I loved that. That shut Luke right up. He was like, oh. it was just like what i loved about it is that janet's jasper on like good behavior all season and she's like no i know this is how i feel and then like she just snapped her head cocked and she looked at luke and her eyes became evil and she just said that line and i just let out the

1:01:34Ronnie Karam: biggest peel of laughter that's very janet that's for sure and he's like you're calling danny a psychopath she's calling him like it's worse than that it's a psychopath who killed many people but

1:01:47Ben Mandelker: also had an appeal. He's not just a psychopath. People enjoyed him. He had followers. He was able to talk a lot of people in the murder.

1:01:56Ronnie Karam: Yeah. She's like, no, I'm not calling him a psychopath. I'm just saying, you have to see every single action for somebody to realize? Do I have to use Stassi lines for anybody to understand where I'm coming from? I will continue to wrap off better cast members of this show if it makes a point.

1:02:12Ben Mandelker: So now Luke is like, it's all hearsay. The vision you have in your head is all hearsay she's like oh it's hearsay now she's like it's wild that you're the most hurt in this situation that you weren't even at it's wild i'm like you're the one who's acting the

1:02:23Ronnie Karam: most butthurt right now sir and none of this has anything to do with you you're up here crying what are you crying about you're not even in this fight yeah if you don't want her to to have something to

1:02:32Ben Mandelker: say about it you also shouldn't like be bothering saying something either because you weren't part of it so janet's like i don't have to see something with my own eyes to know that it's true and to know that it happened and danny's admitted that this happened so it's really difficult to be

1:02:46Ronnie Karam: around a man like that yeah so then jesse comes into the kitchen and uh luke comes back and jesse is like are you leaving i gotta move my aston and lala goes did he just say i've gotta move my aston what the michelle goes yeah of course he would say that and lala goes uh sorry gotta move

1:03:07Ben Mandelker: about gmc i'll be back guys guys he was in character he was being james bond don't you

1:03:13Ronnie Karam: understand guys it was great james bond would never have to move his own aston come on that's

1:03:18Ben Mandelker: right he also would park in a way that he would just really not be in anyone's way and also if there was valet oh god lacy she really was right i know i don't feel like james bond would be stack parking no there would not be tandem barking but james so lala's like we're

1:03:36Ronnie Karam: talking about justice he just wants people to think he has some money and lives off this extravagant lifestyle but come on i mean men are not even good for one thing and i mean they're

1:03:46Ben Mandelker: only good for one thing and even that they're not really good at so then um yeah because like sometimes they're not like i could get a vibrant i can have done quicker and better so then britney people leave but um jesse and michelle have a conversation up on the roof i believe they're just going up in this mc usher house and so jesse's like so i wanted to ask you a question because we had this conversation at the coffee shop and something has been kind of eating at me a little bit i asked you why you were crying and you said even though it was your idea of your choice it's still sad but then i'm at zach's house i'm an earshot away from you saying with lala that that you were crying because you were relieved to be out of this toxic situation so which one is it And Michelle's just looking at him like, you fucking fragile, hair-dented man.

1:04:34Ben Mandelker: Like, why do I even have to explain the range of my emotions to you? And the fact that you don't understand it is exactly why I got divorced from you.

1:04:41Ronnie Karam: Yeah, you don't have to explain it to him and why he's even demanding next. You're not together. You don't get an explanation of some random thing she said. Fucking weirdo. And she's like, well, I am Abby. It's over, but I am also sad. And it has been vagging on to me, okay? I was going through a divorce with my mom Bazing away, it was toxic Are you questioning if I'm sad about the divorce? Is that what you're doing?

1:05:06Ben Mandelker: Well, I was questioning that you were Vulnerable and authentic in the moment Because you didn't have time to think of a better answer She's like, I don't know Why you think I'm performative What is the truth? The truth is It was a toxic relationship, it was not a good marriage There's a reason why we're getting divorced We're not getting divorced because we're madly In love with each other and you treated me so greatly and i see the way you treated treat lacy and you never treat me that way hence why i had to leave you i had to move on so basically it's just like her like and now she's crying and he's like i don't

1:05:37Ronnie Karam: know why you gotta cry i mean we're both just trying to figure it out he's so fucking needy

1:05:42Ben Mandelker: like why did he need to he why why is it hard to grasp that it could be something that's sad and happy at the same time like has he ever heard of the concept of bittersweet he just wants a scene

1:05:54Ronnie Karam: and poor Lacey won't give it to him. Lacey's just like, but I would have like caviar and maybe a valet. And they're like, okay, but I hate pickles. Okay, Lacey, your audition's over, okay? So Michelle's like, I do not miss him. I don't want to be with him. It's nothing like that, Dom, okay? But we never had that. But when I was married to him, I used to complain, I need to be dodged. I need you to kiss me. I need you to hold my hand. and Tom's like, love me, give me affection I get it, kiss me hold my hand, hurry you, right now no, not you and she's like, he never loved me and he's like, wow, that's the realest shit you've ever said to me that's so James Bond yeah

1:06:41Ben Mandelker: da da da da da da Jesse La Lally and that's basically how it ends for Michelle Lally, brought to tears again by this fucking asshole. She's like, can we just have a stupid James Bond party without you making me cry for no reason? Yeah. God, this fucking show.

1:07:02Ronnie Karam: So that's that. Well,

1:07:05Ben Mandelker: good times. Also, congratulations for destroying the legacy of James Bond. I'd also like to add nothing represented that movie here. No one needs to watch

1:07:17Ronnie Karam: the next James Bond movie less.

1:07:19Ben Mandelker: I myself now need a quantum of solace after having watched this i yeah wow yeah it was it's but anyway um fun times and we will talk to there's someone at the door for me i gotta go answer it i mean it's the shingle man bye everyone bye watch what crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors she answered the call it's adia paul ain't no thing like alison king our way is the amber way It's the Foster and the Furious. It's Amanda Foster. It's Always Automatic with Ashley Otto. Put your hands together for Carly Clapp. Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offord.

1:08:01Ronnie Karam: She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniela. Itchles! We never miss her call, it's Diane Call. Sunday in the Park with Dylan Clark. Big Yay, it's Emily Gauthier. Erin McNicholas, she don't miss no trick-a-less. Hala Nagila Weber. You'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones. It's no BS. We love Hugo ES. Jamie, she has no last naming. Sips some scotch with Jessica Trotch.

1:08:26Ben Mandelker: She's our favorite streamer, Caroline Peacock.

1:08:29Ronnie Karam: Kristen the Piston Anderson. Que sera, sera, whatever we'll be, we'll Lauren Sillsby. She gets an A from us, it's Lindsay D. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McHenry. Come again? We're obsessed with Margaret O 'Halloran. Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the Berg. Gather round for the lore of Michelle Moore.

1:08:53Ben Mandelker: This is Livin' with Michelle Vivian.

1:08:56Ronnie Karam: I love-a-ya, Olivia Williamson. She sure is swell. It's Raquel. Yes, we canna. It's Sadana.

1:09:03Ben Mandelker: Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman. Let's share with Sharon Eldridge. Darn Skippy, it's Tippi.

1:09:09Ronnie Karam: And our super premium sponsors. She's VVIP, it's Amanda V.

1:09:14Ben Mandelker: Somebody get us 10 cc's of Betsy MD

1:09:16Ronnie Karam: We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva Let's get real with Caitlin O 'Neill Put us on a stretcher, it's Charlotte Fletcher Hoagle your horses, it's Christine Hoagle Don't get salty with Christine Pepper Can't have a meal without the Emily sides

1:09:32Ben Mandelker: Who, what, why, where, and Gwen Pentland Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall We got our wish, it's Jen Plish Have a kebab with K-Rob My favorite Murdo, Karen McMurdo. Let's get savage with Laura Wildman. In the study with a candlestick, it's Leslie Peacock. We're ride or die for Lisa Ryder Barron. She's a whiz, it's Liz Sarthy. Always killing it, it's Loa Alkalani. Roger that, it's Marlis Rogers.

1:09:59Ronnie Karam: The incredible edible Matthews sisters. She eases our woes, it's Melissa St. Rose. She's the lady of the house, it's Rachel Sharouse. There's a chance of meatballs, it's Rebecca Cloud. She's our princess. It's Rebecca Prince.

1:10:13Ben Mandelker: She's the Queen Bee. It's Sarah Lemke. We cannot tell a lie. It's Sarah Talafsun. Shannon out of a cannon Anthony. Please don't stop. It's Solian Pop. Let's take off with Tam LaPlane. Strike a pose. It's Tori Rose.

1:10:28Ronnie Karam: She ain't no shrinking Violet Kuchar. We love you guys.

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