#3418 The Valley S3E12 Part One: Everyone Scwartzapa-loses

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2:16Ronnie Karam: Well, hello and welcome to What's With Crappins. I'm Ronnie. That's Ben. Hello, Benooney Tunes. Hi, Ronnie.

2:23Ben Mandelker: How's it going? Good.

2:26Ronnie Karam: Hi, everybody. Welcome to the show. Today is the Valley Day. Hope you're excited. We are. It's for sure. It's the end of our week here. We've had a really fun week. End of Summer House. Part 20 of the aftermath or whatever they were doing. That was really fun. If you want this on video, go to our Patreon, patreon.com slash watch what crappens. You get all our episodes on video. You get bonus episodes. This week, I think, is Orange. What are we doing this week? Orange County or Love Island? What do you want to decide right now? I don't know what we're doing.

2:58Ben Mandelker: Decide right now. We haven't crossed that. We haven't crossed that bridge. Maybe, can we just do one last Love Island before we do an Orange County preview? I think I have things on my chest that I think I want to air. And then we can, because we've decided we're not going to fully follow Love Island on our bony anymore because I love Love Island, but the season's a little low wattage so and and the episodes are longer than usual i feel like i think that peacock is really i think they are i think peacock is trying to um really ratchet up that most minutes watched that because love island kills it with that like they get like yeah trounce the competition so i just have noticed they're just one too many episodes that are an hour and 13 or an hour and 24 and i'm like we like once in a while fine you know season premiere fine casa more but if it's like watching these people read letters to themselves in slow monotone we don't need to spend 25 minutes extra on that so yeah it's kind of

4:07Ronnie Karam: they do they sure they sure do but we'll talk about that later in the bonus episode um patreon is also where you get ad-free listening. That's a big one. And a Discord server to talk to each other about stuff. And sign up for free to get our weekly blog that I write. It's just a recap of all this stuff that we talk about during the week, but in written form. It's even shittier in written form. So let's get to this recap. The Valley. Here we go.

4:38Ben Mandelker: I was laughing. I don't know. I thought this was a funny episode. I just love the pain. No, I mean, I'm not laughing at Kristen going through postpartum, but I'm laughing at really all lots of other things. Like, I was surprised at how much I laughed in this episode. There were, like, many things that made me giggle. Well, that's good. We'll giggle today about it for sure.

4:58Ronnie Karam: I mean, Bravo really has such a start, fun, a fun start to the week. You know, Atlanta's been really fun. Rhode Island has been really fun. Below Deck, fucking hilarious. This season and the last season, fantastic. What else? What's after that?

5:15Ben Mandelker: McBee Dynasty I mean, it's just like, McBee Dynasty I just say, look at this group of very Funny, entertaining people That really should be on this network

5:23Ronnie Karam: Okay, that's where we start to be here Although we do have a lot of fun in those recaps And then we go to Summer House, which has been Pure toxicity and pain lately And then the Summer House aftermath And then the city Which is more Amanda and Kyle yelling And then this one which is Kristen postpartum. God help us all, you know, and God bless her too. And not in the mean way, but God bless her. Cause this is a lot. I mean, holy shit, pop out a baby, go straight back to work, filming, not feeling your best. And then realizing you've saddled yourself up to Luke. I mean, Ooh, have you seen Luke's Instagram, his new Instagram thing that

6:06Ben Mandelker: he has oh i went to it last last year oh you mean oh i'm sorry i was thinking of the van gogh museum uh no i haven't been to his instagram he has a new like daddy instagram called un and then in

6:21Ronnie Karam: all caps super and then in lower caps again vised unsupervised dad where he talks about being a daddy it's like he's trying to be a dad talker or whatever oh please and his bio is like la stranded country born and by the way kaya didn't ask for this either oh really then why are you soaking it up and being as much of a drama queen as you can all over tv and starting your own fucking instagram and staying in la and getting colored lenses to where in every interview you can muster up get out of here and you weren't born in colorado you were born in indiana i looked it up

6:54Ben Mandelker: there we go well i um i can't stand that like la stranded country boy thing go back to the country then you know no one no one no one twisted your arm to come to la you've been you've been audible about how much you hate la but you've been very happy to just to be here and capitalize off it with this show about literally about la you know like it's like either be on the show and embrace living in the beautiful charming san fernando valley or go back to colorado

7:25Ronnie Karam: just one correction when you say nobody twisted his arm to be in la i mean of course they did and her name is Kristen. Of course, I mean, but no one's forcing you. Yeah, exactly. No one's forcing you, sir. I don't want to hear it from you, especially someone who's so clearly soaking up the fame. You know?

7:42Ben Mandelker: Yeah, I just feel like, you know, he made a sacrifice. I'm going to say he made a sacrifice to move to LA. He does not like this city. That's fine. People make sacrifices for the people that they love. He made a sacrifice. But don't throw it back in all of our faces every single second, okay? You either make the sacrifice sacrifice and that's just who you are and let us tell you how great you are that you made the sacrifice and that like you deserve respect for that but like but or you're just like or you just don't make the sacrifice at all but don't make the sacrifice and then want sympathy over and over and over and over and over again by the way can i just tell you i've watched a lot of mcbee dynasty and i i think i actually do deserve some like ben you do you've really given some sacrifices for this show a lot of big sacrifices you do daddy you do so for real don't like when you make the sacrifice you like you do it and you move on okay if you make the sacrifice and then you're drawing attention to all the sacrifices you make that you've made are you really making a sacrifice or are you just putting another brick in to this monument you've built for yourself

8:43Ronnie Karam: i mean it's true look how you are with the mcbee dynasty i mean you wouldn't even know

8:49Ben Mandelker: that it's a sacrifice you would know the resentment that i carry about having to watch that show i feel like i'm pretty good no i'm pretty chill about um not announcing uh how much

9:01Ronnie Karam: i am put out by it yeah um but no i think that you're absolutely right it's the typical like oh everything i've done for you oh just fucking go go home mullet like nobody is begging for you to be in la okay get the fuck out of here so here we go season three episode 12 schwarza palooza Oh, God. I knew we were in for something rotten when it's called Schwartzapalooza.

9:29Ben Mandelker: Fucking A. Seriously. So, everyone. So, catching up with everyone and their gas. I don't understand what the gas. Oh, that's right. They all have gas. That's our first bite. That's that first note. And I was like, what is this gas? And I forgot that we do start with them all being gassy. It's the ballet.

9:48Ronnie Karam: So, we start with everybody farting.

9:49Ben Mandelker: That's how we got. Well, this is something that's relatable. So Nia's like, mommy's gonna make a quesadilla. And Danny, dad, you're cutting some cheeses. So Danny starts making fart noises. And then he's like really amused by his own fart noises. So he's like, hey, where's Asher? He loved this comedy bit. Asher, come over here. Asher's like, I'm right here. Okay, daddy's cutting the cheese. Ready? I can't believe this guy didn't get farther ahead in Hollywood.

10:17Ronnie Karam: No kidding. Asher's like, ah, yeah, I've been given the Danny. and there's no coming back yeah yeah that's the ick the ick is really strong on this one um now we

10:31Ben Mandelker: go to janet and jason's and um jason's asking janet what she's decided to make and she's made spaghetti which apparently is the only thing that she can make because this is like divorce janet

10:41Ronnie Karam: already i mean we go from farting to janet making spaghetti again i mean come on everybody just

10:47Ben Mandelker: divorce everybody on this show she's a one trick pasta pasta pony but also spaghetti it's like the

10:54Ronnie Karam: worst it's the dumbest pasta to make make a make a rigatoni make a you know the solid ones not the ones that are you know flipping their hair and splattering everybody with sauce and getting it all over the fucking couch you know like i know decent like make a respectable pasta self-company Orchette pasta. You know what I mean?

11:15Ben Mandelker: Orchette. That's great. Like the best. Like, I love those things. Although I don't love when they nest in each other. Yeah. I have to say, spaghetti really is the dumbest pasta. I love that we are aligned with this. Spaghetti is just so annoying. And again, I'm more faithful to a short pasta, or I have more allegiance to a short pasta than I do a long one. But even of the long pastas... No, I'm sorry. Angel hair is the worst. I mean, that's the worst of all the pastas, right? It's like, what do you even do with that?

11:43Ronnie Karam: I think spaghetti, then fettuccine, then angel hair. And let me tell you, angel hair, only because somehow, because it's so thin, it clumps together a little bit better on a fork.

11:54Ben Mandelker: Okay.

11:55Ronnie Karam: But I still don't like it. It's still not doing great. I just don't get sloppy-ass spaghetti. You know, especially when you have a kid and furniture to worry about. And then you've got someone sick that you're bringing it on a meal train. Spaghetti is like the laziest fucking thing you can do for somebody.

12:11Ben Mandelker: I will say this is going to be a very Ben anecdote recently I was so sick of being a sloppy spaghetti eater because I feel like you put half it in your mouth but you can't put it all in your mouth so then you just have to bite and then some of it falls back on the plate. It's just gross and I just feel like there's got to be a better way to do it. I also feel like I can never get the right amounts so I literally sat for like an hour and watched different tutorials on the best ways to get spaghetti onto your fork and like there's a part of me that wants to have some spaghetti just so i can practice these techniques but generally speaking i i agree that it's a messy thing and when you're spinning that fork and that one strand of spaghetti goes whipping around and there's a trebuchet of sauce it's like a nightmare that sucks but um i do like a bucatini and the only the only reason why i don't love a bucatini is because there's that one guy who's on top chef who was so awful and he said bucatini is my spirit pasta i was like like i can't i cannot i can't fully embrace bucatini

13:11Ronnie Karam: now because that guy i think his name was bruce bucatini is better because it's like a straw yeah it's got something going on yeah it feels like oh i'm eating a straw oh i'm going against the grain because people are you know so anti-straws you know i'm like fuck you turtles every time i eat a straw yeah like it's just i love turtles obviously but it makes me just feel

13:29Ben Mandelker: rebellious like yeah i'll tell you of the long pastas probably my favorite i think is a muffled you ever had that even i think feel like you're just fucking with me now what's that a muffled it's kind of like uh like a long slender lasagna noodle but it has like it's crimped its hair a little bit you know like lasagna noodles on the side or like yeah i crimped this um that's what muffled is like and so it's long but it's got texture and it's wide so things have like there's

13:57Ronnie Karam: like there's the surface area that's like the roma muffledine muffledine roma muffledine um so um okay so we're at janet and jason's she's stealing she's still pulling spaghetti on people divorce and um the baby's pooping so that's fine yeah now britney's um and britney is talking about

14:22Ben Mandelker: potty training so i guess is uh i guess their son i guess is potty training i don't know she she had a little toilet in the corner i was like is this for the sun or is this for jacks um so then kristen comes over you know and uh she's like hello um and cruises at speech therapy for those who are wondering where he is and she's kristen saying like you gave a lot you got a lot you gave a lot last night to that bod girl yeah because i get um going out yeah they're talking i guess

14:52Ronnie Karam: about going up and down Tom's staircases or something, I'm assuming. And it's like, oh, no, I can't believe I've stayed for two hours. And so Kristen has just gotten back from the passport. She got a little baby passport for Kaya.

15:06Ben Mandelker: That's a cute baby. Yeah.

15:10Ronnie Karam: And because they're all going to be going to Mexico soon. I'm really jealous of that baby's skin. Isn't that so sad? Like, as you age, you just start seeing babies. And you're like, oh, my God, what's your regimen? What do you do? Is that all moisturizer or is there a laser involved? Tell me the truth, baby.

15:26Ben Mandelker: I think what's sadder is getting older and just spending an hour of your time on YouTube looking at different ways that people spool up spaghetti on their fork. I don't know.

15:37Ronnie Karam: I think that's pretty good. Because I know that there's going to be a video that you make that you're like, guys, here's what I've learned about getting spaghetti on a fork. And you're going to have it to your YouTube repertoire. wall and i'm gonna have it for all time yeah i learned that i was always doing it like a monster

15:54Ben Mandelker: i just put my whole fork into the pasta and then i just start twirling and you're actually supposed to put like one little strand into like one little tine and you just spin with that and then by the end you'll get a great clump but i would always put my whole fork in just and i don't mean damn

16:08Ronnie Karam: it i didn't ask and i knew that you were gonna be like well here's how you do it too and you know what i want i also did want to know so you finished telling me you put one little that's it no i didn't but i talked as usual so i didn't get the end so i talked about one little one little thing into the spork and then tell me the rest yeah you take um yes you can use a spork

16:29Ben Mandelker: i prefer a fork um you take it and you you basically take like the little basically like if your fork is my hand you take like the uh the tine like the little pinky you put like one little strand in between the bottom ones you know i guess you could do another another combo of tines but i like that and then you just start twirling and you put your spoon there you sort of put your spoon the fork is in the spoon i've seen the spoon method before but i always was like why is this not working it's because i always started with too much pasta in my fork so you only put one strand in and then you twirl and twirl and that one strand will build up and And then it will end as a little beehive of spaghetti that has been shaped by the spoon.

17:14Ben Mandelker: And I was always starting with a little bit too much pasta, so there'd be just so much. And it would never end. And it would keep on pulling and pulling and pulling and pulling. So that is the hack. That all is too soon. I mean, the method that everyone knows.

17:26Ronnie Karam: Yeah, that actually sounds fun. And now I want to make spaghetti?

17:33Ben Mandelker: We could do it with Bucatini. Have the same effect and not have to degrade ourselves. No, no, I need to try it with spaghetti too. You talked me into it.

17:41Ronnie Karam: All right, Janet, Stan. All right, Janet, put a video up on how to make your spaghetti. I've got a Ziploc ready. Let's get this done. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappens commercial. My mom is the queen of the bargain find. I mean, you can't even compliment the woman without finding out how much something costs. I was like, mom, I really love your new dress. She's like, it was$5. I got this as a bargain. And I found the new place to make her so happy. I've never seen her so thrilled. It's called Whatnot.

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20:48Ronnie Karam: Wayfair, every style, every home. so they're talking about this baby passport and uh chris is like i never thought a baby would have a passport and um then we see uh her taking a picture of the baby for the password and then they start talking for the passport password ronnie fuck so then we start talking about last night what a shit show it was and britney's like oh god can i talk to you about something though god because they kind of bothered me last night and chris is doing her like tell me i'm listening I hear you. I've been to therapy before.

21:22Ben Mandelker: They're flowing to me. Flowing to me. But Kristen is giving her that face, but she has no idea that she is about to have to go on defense for Nia again. So Brittany's like, well, whenever we're talking to Nia, it was about the food train and all that stuff, but there was another level to it where I had nerds from her in eight days and that hurt my feelings because everybody else, even Jesse, even Lacey, they checked them in, they reached out. For me, it felt a little bit like, what's going on? Like, does she actually care about me? Because, like, she apologized and she said, like, she should have done better.

21:52Ben Mandelker: But, like, then you came in and you were, like, so ready to defend Nia in that moment. Kristen's like, well, because I do feel protective over her when it comes especially to Janet. Caca.

22:04Ronnie Karam: Yeah. So, I mean, look, I think that Nia is performative with Britney. But I also think Britney is performative. I mean, Britney doesn't like Nia. Everybody knows it. Even Zack outed her on camera. He's like, you don't like Britney. I mean, you don't like Nia. What the fuck are you acting like you like Nia for? How dare you? How dare you make it look like I don't like Nia on camera? I'm being performative about liking Nia. I'm being mad about Nia being performative. You know what I'm saying?

22:31Ben Mandelker: I actually really liked this scene with Brittany. And I was like, am I starting to like Brittany on this show? Because I actually felt like she was dropping her normal chuckles and sweetness. and she was showing that she was like annoyed by another girl in the group and she's like, this is fucked up. I don't like this. And normally she'd be like, oh well you know, but she's just like busy so I get it on her side. But like she was like, I'm not going to giggle through this. She's like, I've got like little plastic balls that are attached to me that are draining out liquids from my body and sometimes even chunks and I just don't have time to chuckle through this.

23:06Ben Mandelker: Like, fuck this girl. And I kind of felt it was refreshing.

23:10Ronnie Karam: Yeah, I mean, I like Britney on the show actually. I've always liked, I think Brittany's the best thing on this show. Why else do people watch the show? Really? Yeah. I think Brittany's hilarious. I think she's been fine, but this is the

23:20Ben Mandelker: first time I was like, oh, I'm actually, I've been sort of neutral on her. I think she's more or less fine. I was happy when she took steps to get that divorce last season. This is the first time where I was like, oh, not only am I fine with Brittany, I'm actually sort of moving, gravitating towards her and being like, yes, yes, Brittany, you know?

23:40Ronnie Karam: well it's also maybe like a team thing because you you're really not you've from day one you're like nia that's trouble right there you know so i think people are also realizing so maybe you're just like well you know you're on my team now yeah but i do know what you mean too it was like she is it is nice seeing her be pissed you know because we only see her really pissed when jacks pushes her to the limit and you could see like her eyes flare like she got really pissed at kristin because Kristen's like, whoa, but I'm gonna do stand up for a show, but I wasn't even doing nothing to me. You know, she gets this like it's like almost cartoonish when she gets pissed.

24:18Ronnie Karam: Her eyes literally change. And yeah, it is nice to see that because normally she does have like everything's great.

24:27Ben Mandelker: I just feel like she's getting more jaded. And I think that this relationship with Brandon is somehow bringing out these sort of bitter notes that we've never seen from her before. We saw them a little bit last week and they're here again this week. And I think, like, the bitter notes are kind of, like, working for her in a weird way. They're kind of, like, rounding her out. They're, like, giving her, like, dimension.

24:46Ronnie Karam: Hmm.

24:46Ben Mandelker: Yeah.

24:47Ronnie Karam: Well, you know, good for Brittany getting some dimension. Good for her. I'm happy for her. So, Brittany's like, you know, sometimes she just seems so performative, and that's why it hurts my feelings. Oh, God, Brittany. Like, everything hurts Brittany's feelings.

25:02Ben Mandelker: You hurt my feelings. I really hurt my feelings. Yeah. Well, I felt like that, and I felt like that for a while, but, like, when it comes to Nia, I'm, like, not allowed to have an opinion or say anything. Chris goes, no, you are. You absolutely are allowed to have an opinion, as long as that opinion is absolutely positive and praises her as being a great mom. So, no, well, look, when it comes to Nia, I think Kristen goes to blind loyalty. She's, like, admittedly goes on the defense for Nia, and Nia did not need her defenses. I'm the one that's struggling, and I'm the one who's in so much pain.

25:32Ben Mandelker: I got little plastic balls attached to me. Okay, you want to see him? Want to see him? Like, she didn't even think about what my feelings were.

25:39Ronnie Karam: Yeah, and she's like, she just seems so performative, and that hurts my feelings because I know she's a good person. And Kristen's like, well, I hate that because I don't see that at all. Like, how I feel is that people want to doubt that she and Daniel are genuinely fucking great people.

25:55Ben Mandelker: I'm not saying that she's not good people. I mean, I think that Daniel's a great person whenever he's being normal. Which I love that caveat. The qualifier. he's a great person whenever he's being normal we got to him later this episode let's go so she's like it's just whenever he does all this stuff that makes people uncomfortable and that's like why it's a factor

26:18Ronnie Karam: and so Kristen's like well I know the relationship that Luke and I have with them and she's like well I know just as good as you do and how many times have you been to their house Kristen she's like more times than I can count just stop it Kristen She's like, uh-huh. Do you want me to write down dates or something? She's like, mm-hmm. I'm just wondering, because it feels like a very surface-level friendship.

26:40Ben Mandelker: I mean, Brittany is really on one in this. Like, this is, she's really going there. And Kristen's like, I talk to Nia on the phone every single day. Okay, but like, I didn't think that you did. By the way, the defense of like, saying that Nia, Nia didn't have time. Brittany's whole thing is that Nia didn't have time to like, check in on her and be like, how are you feeling? by christmas like i talked to her on the phone every single day it just sort of highlights the fact that nia explicitly did not call britney during her recovery but britney and nia aren't

27:10Ronnie Karam: friends i mean look i think what britney is saying is true i think that nia's whole like i'm gonna start the meal train and i'm gonna do this and that and then getting petty with it and leaving janet off that was shitty of her and not doing not even doing it was like i mean i can see why she's saying nia's performative i think britney's got a real point there on the other hand i wish nia wouldn't even bother with being performative because she doesn't like britney and britney doesn't like her i mean i need to know how many times britney has called or gone over there to check on nia after she just had her fourth baby you know right it's not i just don't but you know the thing is i mean i don't know about the group text but the thing is this is

27:50Ben Mandelker: this is nia's mess up because you go through the effort you're announcing in a big way i'm going to start a meal train and then you don't even check in on the person that you're starting the meal train for like that's shitty so or send a meal or send the meal train it is and this is

28:08Ronnie Karam: where this is where i feel like i get into trouble on shows like the valley because standing up for one person or like standing against one person automatically kind of makes you stand up for another and that's not what i'm doing because i mean i do acknowledge that nia was completely wrong and all of that. And also Nia, I do acknowledge that Nia's obnoxious and all of that. I just find it funny that Britney is calling someone performative because Britney is the most, I find Britney to be so fucking performative and fake. I mean, everybody knows she doesn't like Nia. The only other time she's really lost it other than with Jax has been about Nia and that time when, you know, the husband, Danny, stupid Danny got drunk and took a nap and they were all mad that they weren't filming it.

28:50Ronnie Karam: You know, Britney's like losing her shit and showing her like evil cartoon eyes or whatever so we know that britney does not like nia either so her whole like it really hurt my feelings and he's not there for me get out of here we know that you're like i feel like you're just trying to paint a picture with janet and probably michelle a little bit too but you guys are just doing your little thing you always do of painting somebody that you don't like constantly and hammering it into the ground now is that to say that their painting is inaccurate not really i just don't see that that britney has the um the leg to stand on as far as somebody being performative especially nia you hate me uh come on i mean britney has

29:32Ben Mandelker: obviously a track record of being performative for many years on this show but i also feel like yeah i i think that like she has a right to have her i think her feelings were valid to have her feelings hurt because britney's like i know how i know you know how to be performative because i've been performative with you and you can't even be performative with me fuck you um so then um

29:55Ronnie Karam: britney's like well you got so britney's saying nobody's going to change your mind but you'll eventually see it about this girl and chris is like well how would you feel if i said that about someone you were close to and she's like you say it all the time about janet well okay well has it really reached janet levels and chris is like well but janet's done things to me and Janet used to be one of my best friends.

30:17Ben Mandelker: Well, I also want to back up. I mean, I really am enjoying, and Brittany is really being cutting in this scene in a way we've never really seen her with her friends. At one point, right before this, Kristen says, you know, by the way, you know, Nia was one of the biggest helps through my whole pregnancy because we knew, we were talking about this last week, that like this is probably one of the reasons why Kristen feels this huge allegiance to Nia is because they went through pregnancy together and obviously Kristen's been having a very difficult time with it so she probably feels a certain special way towards Nia.

30:45Ben Mandelker: And then when Brittany said, on camera, I was like, oh, that was, I wasn't, even I didn't think that that was an on-camera performative thing. So when Brittany said that, I was like, those are fighting words there, Brittany. And Kristen's like, through the pregnancy, it was not on camera. And I was like, oh, this little conversation may do some damage.

31:07Ronnie Karam: Yeah, and Kristen's like, it wasn't just on camera. What are you talking about? Oh, it's like, you don't even know, which leads me to believe, like, how close are you and Kristen, really? Like, if you don't even know any of this stuff. So, you know, look, Brittany is not going to have it. And Kristen is the same way, actually. And we've learned this from Vanderpump Rules. If they're not friends with somebody, you better not be friends with them, too. It makes them freaking crazy. Both of them have this issue. You know, Kristen is especially like this. But Britney has shown signs of this for years and years and years.

31:42Ronnie Karam: And so they're going to be at a stalemate here because it's like, who are you going to choose? And Kristen also has a habit of choosing kind of the more popular person on the show, the most popular person, and just kind of, I don't know, what do you call it? Like following them or she's always like second banana to somebody on the show. And she's always standing up for the wrong people. And I think this is another example of Kristen just doing that, you know.

32:06Ben Mandelker: she's second banana to a usually a rotted pineapple but um in this case so she said like like you were mentioning like kristen says how would you feel if i were saying something about someone that you were close to and britney's like yeah what about what about you say stuff about janet all the time and kristen's like janet's done things to me and janet used to be one of my best friends now i'm not doubting this i just can't remember like what did janet do to kristen

32:31Ronnie Karam: This whole thing, this whole show started with Janet coming for Kristen and being like, oh, well, Kristen was Kristen and Zach were saying that Michelle is a racist because blah, blah, blah, because she might have Republican leanings and stuff. So it immediately started with them coming for Kristen. Right. There was that.

32:53Ben Mandelker: Which actually was. Right. And that was actually Brittany's fault, by the way, because like. And that was. Janet just. Janet just said something. The fights on this show are Brittany, by the way. They're Brittany starting every fucking fight. It was like something that Janet had said off camera, and then Brittany just blew it up right on camera and then started that shit show. But then last season, the issue was, I think they were starting to make amends or something, but wasn't it that like, you know, I'm totally, I'm just not, I just can't remember. Wasn't it that like Kristen and Luke were like, hey, Janet, we were telling people that Jason had an affair, but like it was purely a rumor something like that wasn't it when they like oh we started this

33:32Ronnie Karam: rumor but don't worry it's just a rumor kristin got mad and was standing up for a friend and was like oh really well you're gonna say that danny is an assaulter well we heard that your husband cheated on him and then later was like okay i didn't really hear that or i guess in my mind i

33:47Ben Mandelker: was just being shitty you know in my mind kristin's like you know what janet has done to me i'm like you kind of did stuff to janet too sorry retaliatory you know on these shows it always

34:00Ronnie Karam: goes back to who starts it and janet started it well britney janet started and then britney

34:06Ben Mandelker: flamed it yeah but like or whatever but i feel like janet i feel like janet saying that stuff to britney was just being like oh well by the way i heard from uh i heard from kristin and so and so that uh that michelle may actually be like republican like to me it's like oh this is what

34:24Ronnie Karam: i heard uh well what we heard of what she said was that michelle was was for the don't say gay law or whatever right and then she was saying well you guys you should probably watch out because if she's republican she's probably got you know we've got a black cast member and a gay cast member and you know she was like that's fishy and then britney was like well what about you saying which put christian and zach on the defensive and then they went after janet but i guess for me what

34:55Ben Mandelker: i'm just trying to say is that like christian saying like well janet has done things to me i'm like who if i were really to look at the scoreboard a lot of stuff that janet has done has been towards danny and nia but like against christian it's not been like as it's not like i don't i could be totally wrong because i i just have i have gaps that i just can't remember you know it's like a whole new year i'm like what happened last year but like all i can remember is that kristin actually concocting a rumor about janet and i don't remember janet like actually doing something to kristin but more that kristin was annoyed that janet was doing things to other people that kristin liked so i just think it's funny that kristin's like she's done stuff to me first i'm like you're the one who started a rumor that jason was cheating on on janet you

35:40Ronnie Karam: know i think janet's been an asshole to kristin multiple times and again it's the valley so it's like i'm not necessarily saying kristin's innocent because kristin's done a ton of shit too but to be for britney to be like well is how do you talk about janet all the yeah but janet and kristin are like full-fledged enemies you are pretending to be nia's friend who are just upset about one little thing and if you are so close to nia that you're so of your your feelings are so hard then why wouldn't you just call nia and be like hey this hurts my feelings but instead you have to get all the girls together and start being like, really, who are my feelings, y 'all?

36:16Ronnie Karam: We need to talk with Nia. And then gather Nia to have all the girls talk with her at one time. She didn't call Nia. Well, she told her to wear face on the last episode. With all the girls sitting there on camera. But I'm saying, like, if you're friends with everybody, if you're so close with Nia, why wouldn't you just say, hey, Nia, you know, it hurts my feelings that I haven't heard from you instead of waiting and getting Janet and all of these people that you know don't even like Nia.

36:43Ben Mandelker: to confront well i well in this case this conversation is actually even though it's so much about nia it really is actually about kristin and britney's whole issue is you just came you just came charging up those stairs and you were just ready to defend nia blindly and you don't even understand and like we're supposed to be friends and like i have a i have a legitimate issue right now with nia and you just don't even hear my side you immediately just take her side on it and like That's like sucky. And I think actually Brittany is really right on that one. Oh, yeah. Christian was acting like crazy last episode.

37:17Ronnie Karam: She's like, It's like running up five flights of stairs. You're like, You're listening to me. You leave me alone. They're like, What are you talking? No one's even yelling at me. What are you talking? We already worked out. But also, you know, the guys were downstairs like, Oh, my God, they're upstairs bullying me. Because the guys are on this whole like, Oh, Brittany starts out.

37:40Ben Mandelker: everything get britney yes which admittedly we just said also but britney is britney does britney

37:47Ronnie Karam: does does start a lot of the fights on this show you know she's like the producer of the show where she's always trying to get she's she and jacks both did the same things where they do you remember that episode where they were literally following people around in separate parts of the house being like britney's like you better go you better go talk to him right now about this and jack's like, well, you better go talk to this. You better go get this. They're making sure everything is on camera at all times. They're both kind of guilty. Yeah. So Brittany's like,

38:15Ben Mandelker: look, I'm not trying to say that they're awful people. I'm just not trying to do that at all. I'm like, you are Brittany. See, this is the Brittany hedge right here. I'm not trying to say that they're awful people. I want to be friends with them both, and I feel good around Danny sometimes, and sometimes I'm like, ew, and I hate that.

38:32Ronnie Karam: She goes, I really like Danny, except at the times where he makes I just heard a way of saying I can't stand the guy.

38:40Ben Mandelker: Yeah. So now we go to butt facials. When they said this, I was like, did I hear that right? Like butt facials, isn't that an oxymoron? But it were butt facials with Jasmine and Zach at a place called Bombay. And so they're going there because why not? Why not get a butt facial? And so Zach is talking about how his birthday is next week. They're excited. They're going to go to Mexico. And now they're going to get this butt. they're gonna get their butts ready for it so starla the esthetician leads them in and zach's like jasmine thought it would be like a good idea for us to get like butt facials before mexico okay but like i don't know why i said yes to this because i'm just like mad about all of it like the fact that she's got like she got me to show off my butt on camera i was like mortifying so then we see jasmine just lying on this table and her butt is unveiled for the world to see and it is this big beautiful butt and zach is like looking at it with envy like god i wish i had a butt like that

39:39Ronnie Karam: um so yeah zach really hits up every housewife storyline it's like let's get a butt facial the spray tanning the scrotox he's like gonna go like every wacky thing to do on camera um i'm waiting for butt bleaching and or butthole waxing because you know he's gonna pull a reza I feel like.

39:59Ben Mandelker: He's like, when you look at my butt and Jasmine's ass, it's like night and day. It's literally Mount Fuji and the Grand Canyon. So then we see Zach. He gets on the table after Jasmine's done. And we see his butt. It really is very much like Ken doll butt.

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42:44Ben Mandelker: i've seen my own but i'm literally not gonna i'm only commenting because he made jokes about it

42:49Ronnie Karam: first he's like it's concave it's like had years of wear and tear it's like the flattest ass you've ever seen yeah and so um zach's like yeah there's like nothing even there i mean why did she even ask me to do this it's like kind of hateful of her actually to do that to me whatever so she is talking about a sheet he is talking about how he went with Danny to go anniversary shopping for Nia and we were just talking about a bunch of different things and so I mentioned my homecoming where he decided not to drink and he was like yeah I didn't drink at your party but then I came home and Benji was like um I don't want to start drama but he totally drank at your party wait Benji with the

43:32Ben Mandelker: tea listen I think Danny should be able to have a drink around us okay like have a drink but don't go crazy i just think that it's like a little weird that he has to like lie to his close friends about drinking he doesn't he's people are giving him shit about drinking because of how he attacks

43:50Ronnie Karam: how he acts when he's drinking it's his behavior when he's drinking it's making me crazy talking about he doesn't lie no i'm saying i'm saying he doesn't have to lie about drinking the point isn't that i mean janet does keep making alcoholic jokes but the point is more about his behavior than his drinking it's like he's acting like oh my god they're just telling me for my drinking no it's because you're yelling at your wife and then you're drinking you fucking idiot so anyway they're like oh now he's hot and now he's hiding it we see him drinking you know they show the scene again where he's like slipping stuff right in front of cameras like a fucking idiot that he is um so um uh they're talking about that and jasmine's like um by the way what's going on with benji's status and why don't you just marry him like if it's a um green card thing just marry him and he's like i can't just marry the guy i don't even know if i want a baby and

44:46Ben Mandelker: that's a definite for him yeah zach starts to basically tear up because he really loves benji but he basically doesn't want to have a kid and he's saying like oh I want to have a kid but I want to make sure I'm sure and he knows that if he doesn't want to have the kid then he's going to lose Benji and I say probably it might be time to make a tough sacrifice so he is he is like crying there and you know Starla's just like you know the entire time she's just like painting his butt putting creams on it it's like oh my god like i don't like i don't want to cry getting a butt facial and jasmine's like look you know you know when you're you can't pressure yourself to get married to someone when you're not there like you know like i'm sorry but like i love benji and he's great for you and all that but like you know there's just like other people out there too and it'll be great for us so she's basically like don't get married to someone if you're not on the same page about a child because that's not yeah well yeah that's not gonna work out

45:47Ronnie Karam: and um so now they are going to pack for mexico so kristin is um on facetime with mia she's like um of course you look hot oh my god we're packing for mexico do we do we feel good about babies going to mexico uh do you feel calm do you do you feel calm make me feel calm no bringing your newborns to mexico is not a good idea and i wish someone in the friend group would

46:15Ben Mandelker: be like no yeah well i mean it's fine if it's if it's like like it's fine like nia is fine she's just like another baby but you know obviously kristin is it's she's really having challenges really just with everyday life and she tend she has challenges with traveling in general so you know i feel like we like i felt this way and i'm sure many other viewers were thinking this is not going to be good for Kristen bringing his newborn baby to Mexico she is going to be she is going to go right through it she's going to be absolutely like she's going to go through all the things

46:55Ronnie Karam: and yeah I know how harsh that is to be to say like I would tell my friends no I would though if I was going to Mexico and my friends were like oh my god I'm going to bring my three month old baby I would be like that's not no that's not that's a different trip you know what I mean I don't know especially two I don't know they do bring care though like Kristen does bring her sister and her brother but you know Kristen's Kristen's gonna Kristen

47:22Ben Mandelker: yeah it's an interesting contrast because it's almost the same thing plays out as what played out in San Diego with Danny and Nia where they brought care but Nia still wants to bring the baby along and Danny started to get annoyed and I was really thinking about like why am I not as frustrated with Luke who makes similar points to Danny like hey we've got care why aren't we using the care and i think the difference is that um like i'm not frustrated at luke because he's already in like a tense interaction with kristin and they are trying to navigate this situation whereas with danny and nia nia actually has like she's like i need to have the baby and this is it's fine and like nia's like being nice and friendly and danny's coming at her like in a really hard way which i guess sort of sounds fucked up like it's okay for someone to be a dick to you if you're in a 10 situation.

48:13But you know, in a fight,

48:16Ben Mandelker: the context makes sense. And in Medea, she was just being chill and Danny was being a dick and passive-aggressive.

48:23Ronnie Karam: I can't agree with that. Yeah, Danny just wanted to go get wasted and do shots and do all this stuff and he was mad at her for having the baby and this and that. Whereas Kristen is the one that's super annoyed on this episode and being kind of an ass. But that being said, I get it. Like she's postpartum. She's just had this baby. She's it's too much. Like it's, it's too much for her to be doing. And I know, you know, it's a show and she has to show up to get paid. And I just, this is rough, man. I think I drop a baby and then immediately have to go back on TV. I don't think she's ready stuff. But yeah.

48:59Ben Mandelker: But I think also, by the way, it also makes it kind of more staggering that Kristen was not able to see Danny critically when everyone was like yeah his drinking like he's acting crazy when he drinks and nia needs help he's treating his wife badly and the fact that christian was kind of like i don't see a problem with it while she's actually going through very very very similar issues with luke and almost enlarging the same complaints with luke is a little wild to me in retrospect

49:30Ronnie Karam: it is yeah because it's pretty much i mean it's very similar the guy situations at least but it's also Kristen and it's like everybody I don't know anybody going through anything can make it any kind of way but of course Kristen's going to make it the most miserable for every single person yeah it's like she shows up like this sucks I don't like drinking anymore and I don't like being out with anybody I hate this I hate him it's like oh my god it's kind of one of those things it was like a Jackson-Brittany thing where you're constantly listening to them bicker or have problems or it's always her crying and his thing it's like at what point like do we just get to have a fucking vacation you know and i feel like all the friends felt like that it's like jesus christ like we get that you're going through something but this whole season has been misery can we just have one fucking day in mexico well people also forget that when kristen is unhappy

50:23Ben Mandelker: and she's in a relationship it's not smooth sailing like let's never forget let's go back to season two of Vanderpump Rules and her relationship with Tom Sandoval on that season was it was horrific it was so fraught I mean obviously she was also cheating on him with Jax but do you remember every episode they would have fights I remember them going to a Korean barbecue once the two of them and it was just like such a toxic fight it was constant she really when she's unhappy she like she winds up in very very toxic patterns with the men miserable and she makes everybody

51:02Ronnie Karam: miserable.

51:04Ben Mandelker: In this case, I think we obviously excuse it because there's stuff going on with her body that's out of her control so we are empathetic to it, but man it's rough going if you're on the other side of that Kristen Doty firestorm.

51:20Ronnie Karam: I think the other difference between the Nia and Dany and her and Luke dynamic that we're not really talking about too much is that kristin is um what was i going to say about that i just wrote other dynamic but then i forgot what i said because we started talking about other stuff it'll come back sorry so it's still i'm still concentrating on bucatini i'm like but how can i like bucatini

51:45Ben Mandelker: if i hate spaghetti it's i will say like in in full transparency it's a really strange thing to talk about because like oh it's it's hard okay you remembered your dynamic i remembered it yes

51:56Ronnie Karam: another reason is because nia kind of has to have the baby on her because the baby can't have bottles and kristin doesn't necessarily have to she's just having the first baby thing where you're like you don't want to be away from your baby for five seconds which i think is also valid i'm not saying it's not but when you're looking at nia nia's like i have to have this baby with me i can't just trust it to somebody else because the baby has needs and kristin is just like i just want to stare at this baby because it's only going to be this age for another second and so there's

52:29Ben Mandelker: you know it's another it's a different thing um i think that what's what's tricky for me honestly as a podcaster watching this is that like i um i don't know what it's like to go through postpartum and i know it's like a really very very intense severe thing that women have to go through and so it's hard to sit here and then talk about like oh my god kristin was being miserable oh my god kristin she was like she was lashing out whatever because it sounds like i'm just like not holding any space for that postpartum and so i'm trying to sort of like navigate that space between having complete empathy and sympathy for what she's going through while also reacting to what i'm just seeing on screen and the storytelling that i'm receiving and like and whatever so it's like it's tricky because back in the season two of Vanderpump Rules, it was not a postpartum issue.

53:20Ben Mandelker: She was just being a monster. And so it's like, I hope my comparison to that time is not discrediting what she's going through with postpartum. All I'm trying to say is that when she's unhappy, she really is unhappy. And she really will, you know, she'll go for it. You know, and so it's like, we're watching it happen all over again. but in a different context this time so yeah i hope people understand who listen are not thinking that i'm i'm engaging with this stuff kind of like you know uh without any consideration of that i'm sort of trying my best to navigate you know having a real world understanding of these things while also trying to be like kristen's being a little unhinged right now yeah no i agree

54:08Ronnie Karam: and now also we're talking to a majority group women here so like yeah we understand that we don't go through it and i think when we get to the luke stuff i'll be able to be more clear-headed because luke did bug the fuck out of me with all of this you know it's one thing to like sit as a as as a viewer or as the friend group who's sitting there and be like oh god kristin like you're really making this miserable for literally everybody around you but the minute that luke starts i'm like oh fuck you fuck you like this is the least the least you can do is just shut up for two seconds and just let her go through it and just do a yes, honey.

54:45Ronnie Karam: Yes, honey. Like, it's not all about your fucking feelings. And I'm not here to watch you cry and whine about it. But, you know, Kristen. Yeah, Kristen's a lot. You know, like the postpartum stuff, of course, that's all real. And those are all real things people go through. But Kristen is Kristen. And she's going to be the most Kristen in any situation. Yeah, exactly.

55:04Ben Mandelker: So I'm not being like, wow, oh, my God, she's crazy. God, get it together. I don't think she has to get anything together. I think she just goes through it and she lives it. And I do think it's up to Luke to be more accommodating. But I don't even remember what my point was on any of this. It's just that like, I get your point.

55:25Ronnie Karam: It's a tricky situation. It's like, I'm not coming for postpartum thing or be like, get over it. I mean, I get that. But also as a friend, like, I really don't want to be on a trip with you. If you're going to be like this, like, leave me alone. Leave me alone.

55:41Ben Mandelker: I'll call you from the beach to make sure you're okay yeah so now we go to Lala's and she's packing and Sosa is watching which is exciting and then Nia and Danny and Nia's like Asher can you see Mexico and he's Asher's like Mexico and then Danny is like just like being jokey and he's like saying oh Adelaide's saying I'm going to Mexico with you guys What do you say? Oh, no. I think she asked if Janet's coming. She's not happy about that. I know. I know, Adelaide.

56:17Ronnie Karam: So funny how this guy is still so playing on last season's energy. It's like he doesn't even realize that he is the most hated now. Like, you're in the Janet spot, and these things don't land the same. He's like, just wacky dad making Janet jokes. It's like, nope. You're the donkey now, sir. Okay? Yeah. So then we go to Janet and Jason's, and Jason's like, no, just go. You really should go on this trip. You've been taking care of me. And he's like, I mean, I showered by myself the other night, and your mom's here to take care of me. And you'll be with your closest friends. And she's like, yeah.

56:53Ronnie Karam: And my biggest enemies. Yeah, it's going to be great. But don't worry. I've packed a Ziploc full of spaghetti in the carry-on. So I will always be thinking of you, honey. And then Janet decides to FaceTime Brittany to ask her about outfits. Okay, I'm officially fucking, that's when I backed up my chair and I was like, you're calling Brittany to ask her about outfits?

57:15Ben Mandelker: That's true. That's a fair, that's a fair thing. That's not going to end well. So Brittany's like, hi, I just want to back on myself.

57:21Ronnie Karam: What do you call a flounder to ask it for tap dancing lessons? This is the wrong person. You're calling the wrong person.

57:28Ben Mandelker: So we're basically going to wear bright colors all day, every day. Except for Nia, because she's just a gray cloud. And then Janet's like, well, I ordered a couple of banners and things for Zach's birthday, and I'm happy he invited me and included me. And she tells us that we've got a triple birthday trip coming up. Schwartz is having Schwarza-palooza, which is going to be some sort of music festival vibe, which I love. It's like his attempt at a Coachella-Lollapalooza moment, which is going to be worse than we can ever imagine. And Jazz is happy to be part of it I think

58:05Ronnie Karam: She's like you know Zach He's my best friend now so I'm going to have a big gay night for him That's going to be great And Jenna's like am I even invited on Danny's day And she's like well I mean you got outfits for us So we'll see what happens And then Danny's Miami Vice birthday That's going to happen too And Jenna's like Yeah not really sure Danny needs another vice But I like that

58:31Ben Mandelker: she did that i definitely loved i thought that's moving out her clothes she's like she does that thing where she's like she looks at the camera cocks her head then looks down and yes smooze out her dressing you said it not me it's like you said it janet well fine you heard it not me it's such a little bitchy moment i loved it well mom i'm still healing though okay

58:53Ronnie Karam: but you know i can't have drinks after my tubes come out and janet wants to get a t-shirt that says, yeah, I'm going to have a drink when my tubes come out. Yep. A lot of shirts.

59:04Ben Mandelker: I'm so tired of those boobs. Okay, I'll say they're poor. Okay. So then it's time to travel.

59:11Ronnie Karam: She tells the dogs, don't fight over the boobs, dogs. Because you see like the, were they like the drag queen boobs from a costume? What were they? And the dog was literally eating the nevel off of a boob. It's like, pick the boob out.

59:23Ben Mandelker: There was a drag queen in need who could use that breastplate. yeah that was from their beauty pageant in san diego yeah um so now they get to the airport and uh it's funny britney's in like a little wheelchair and she's just like hi um and so they arrive in puerto vallarta and uh kristin is crying in the airport and they're like oh my god why is she crying what happened um and it turns out that she was she was in the bathroom changing kaya's diapers and then fans were in there taking photos of her and, you know, Kaya was, like, out of the diaper. And so Kristen was, went into mama bear mode and was very, very upset about it.

1:00:03Ben Mandelker: And also, by the way, who are these, who are, who's taking pictures of celebrities in the bathroom?

1:00:08Ronnie Karam: Come on, people. Come on, get a hold of yourself, you fucking weirdos. Who does that? The only person that would like that is, like, Lindsay. She'd be like, oh my, it's like writing the, autographing in the baby's poop on the wall. It's me, Lindsay. But yeah, you don't do that. Who does that?

1:00:26Ben Mandelker: totally inappropriate people should not be doing that it's crazy and especially like you know it's like a baby like oh no like people need to get over it um so uh luke was also upset about it but now kristen's really rattled and i think that this just kind of sends her down a path that she can't get out of for the rest of the episode yeah i mean i think kristen's just going

1:00:49Ronnie Karam: you know obviously the postpartum thing and then the going right back to work and she doesn't feel comfortable in her body and they're going to this you know bikini destination and then she's you know she'd rather be home with the baby she can't even change her baby without fans from the show coming to take her picture and it's like oh this has got to be just making her fucking crazy and she's you know she's like i'm dramatized and everyone's like oh my god how can we help and she's like no nothing i don't need anything and lala's like you know like i get that she struggles with struggles traveling.

1:01:22Ronnie Karam: But, you know, you've finally got the baby that you're traveling with, but it does seem like there's something more going on. Right.

1:01:31Ben Mandelker: And so she's really upset. But the rest of the group is pushing Brittany around in the airport in the wheelchair. And Brittany's like, here I come, roll it up! Tell them don't forget my suitcase, okay? And they hop into their vans and Kristen's still, like, really upset. She's telling Nia about fans in the bathroom As for photos And she's like there's nothing I can fucking do About it And so Nia's like well I wish I was there I would have bit their heads off for you So So yeah So now everyone's in the van traveling to the hotel

1:02:10Ronnie Karam: And In the other van the baby's crying And then in the other van Lala's like Oh my god I did not leave my babies at home To be in a van for the babies so thank god for this dance

1:02:23Ben Mandelker: yes so um then you know britney's like guys last time i was in mexico i was with brandon like how weird was that and they're like that was like a few weeks ago it's not that weird so she's like i mean i can't do anything right now because of my situation my body i can't do anything other than make out so but like if y 'all dare me to make out with somebody i will do it

1:02:48Ronnie Karam: how do you make out without a tongue and Tom's like how do you say I have a girlfriend in Espanol como se dice I'm in love

1:02:59Ben Mandelker: and so Michelle says se soy soltero I am single and everyone laughs you sabotaged me Michelle hey everyone this is the end of part one of this recap for part two. Keep an eye on your podcast feed. It is coming up in just a moment. Thanks so much for listening. Catch you on the second half. Watch what Crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. She answered the call. It's Adia Paul. Ain't no thing like Alison King. Our way is the Amber way. It's the Foster and the Furious. It's Amanda Foster. It's Always Automatic with Ashley Otto. Put your hands together for Carly Clap.

1:03:45Ronnie Karam: Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniela. Etchles! We never miss her call, it's Diane Call. Sunday in the Park with... Dylan Clark. Big yay, it's Emily Gauthier.

1:03:58Ben Mandelker: Erin McNicholas, she don't miss no trick-a-less. Hala Nagila Weber. You'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones.

1:04:04Ronnie Karam: It's no BS, we love Hugo ES. Jamie, she has no last name-y. Sips some scotch with Jessica Trotch.

1:04:12Ben Mandelker: She's our favorite streamer, Caroline Peacock.

1:04:15Ronnie Karam: Kristen the Piston Anderson. Que sera, sera, whatever will be, will Lauren Sills be. She gets an A from us, it's Lindsay D. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McHenry. Come again? We're obsessed with Margaret O 'Halloran. Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the berg. Gather round for the lore of Michelle Moore.

1:04:38Ben Mandelker: This is Livin' with Michelle Vivian.

1:04:41Ronnie Karam: I love-a-ya, Olivia Williamson. She sure is swell. It's Raquel. Yes, we canna. It's Sadana.

1:04:48Ben Mandelker: Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman. Let's share with Sharon Eldridge. Darn Skippy, it's Tippi.

1:04:54Ronnie Karam: And our super premium sponsors. She's VVIP. It's Amanda V.

1:04:59Ben Mandelker: Somebody get us 10 cc's of Betsy MD.

1:05:02Ronnie Karam: We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. Let's get real with Caitlin O 'Neill. Put us on a stretcher. It's Charlotte Fletcher. Hogel your horses. It's Christine Hogel. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily sides

1:05:17Ben Mandelker: Who, what, why, where and Gwen Pentland Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall We got our wish, it's Jen Plish Have a kebab with K-Rob My favorite Murdo, Karen McMurdo Let's get savage with Laura Wildman In the study with a candlestick, it's Leslie Peacock We're ride or die for Lisa Ryder Barron She's a whiz, it's Liz Sarthy Always killing it, it's Lola Alkalani Roger that, it's Marlis Rogers

1:05:44Ronnie Karam: The incredible edible Matthews sisters. She eases our woes. It's Melissa St. Rose. She's the lady of the house. It's Rachel Shiraus. There's a chance of meatballs. It's Rebecca Cloud. She's our princess. It's Rebecca Prince. She's the queen bee.

1:06:00Ben Mandelker: It's Sarah Lemke. We cannot tell a lie. It's Sarah Tell of Sun. Shannon out of a cannon Anthony. Please don't stop. It's Soli and Pop. Let's take off with Tam La Plane. Strike a pose. It's Tori Rose. She ain't no shrinking Violet Kuchar.

1:06:16Ronnie Karam: We love you guys.

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1:07:20Ronnie Karam: Parles-tu français?

1:07:21Ben Mandelker: Hablas espanol?

1:07:22Ronnie Karam: Parli italiano?

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