#3426 House of the Dragon S03E01: A Total Ship Show

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0:30Ronnie Karam: This episode is sponsored by Klarna. You know when you buy something practical like groceries, plane tickets, or honestly, I just did a whole, I need a new summer clothes because apparently none of last year's clothes survived my emotional support snacking era situation. And you realize you're not thinking about what you're buying, but how you're paying for it.

0:48Ben Mandelker: I've actually been using Klarna for that because it gives you options. You can pay now, later, or over time depending on how you want to handle it. Sometimes I'll split something into a few payments so I don't have to deal with it all at once. And I like that. You know, I like that everything's super clear in the app. You always know what you owe and when. So there aren't weird surprises.

1:06Ronnie Karam: And it's not just for huge purchases either. I've used it for everyday stuff. And you can even get cash back and deals in the Klarna app, which honestly feels like kind of a smarter way to handle spending day to day. Less pressure, more flexibility.

1:19Ben Mandelker: Download the Klarna app today or visit Klarna.com to learn more.

1:23Ronnie Karam: California resident loans made her arranged pursuant to a California financing law license and MLS number 135-3190. Klarna balance account required to be eligible for cashback points. Limitations, terms, and conditions apply.

2:13Ben Mandelker: Well, hello and welcome to Winter is Crappening. it is our game of thrones house of the dragon podcast and it is back after a two-year absence uh because that's just the way house the dragon rolls uh four episodes a bunch dragons and then 10 years between the seasons i'm ben mandelker joining me today to talk about the season three premiere is the one and only we're ronnie karam hi ronnie how's it going good how are you i'm doing fabulously. I'm very excited to talk about this episode. Before we dive in, a reminder for people who may have not been tuning in for a while that we have a Patreon. And on our Patreon, we offer a whole bunch of amazing stuff.

3:01Ben Mandelker: We do a weekly bonus episode. We also, Ronnie writes a fabulous newsletter. That's kind of like a recap of the shows of the week. And that's free even if you're not a patreon member we also have ad for you listening and we also have video where you can watch us not just listen if you would like to sign up you can go to patreon.com slash watch what crap ends and all the good stuff is there and there's actually even more than that there's quips there's discord there's like a whole thing going on on patreon so go check that out uh and in the meantime we can just get right back to our dragon our dragon living lives we are here to talk about it ronnie what did you think about this season premiere for house of the dragoons

3:48Ronnie Karam: it was so bad it was amazing i was screaming i was yelling i was crying i watched uh season two again i did a re-watch of season two minus some harren hall scenes i have to say uh those got those got a big ff for me okay i shot through those once but um season two i really love house of the dragon for the most part you know there's been some weak parts here and there but um i love it and watching season two was really good i forgot how blue it was like everything yeah it's very blue time and this one the first thing i thought was wow there's like color this season so yeah that's a they took that to heart but watch the whole season watch some recaps of the season i still probably don't know anybody's name or how it goes and now is the time to remind people if If you're looking for a very serious and accurate recap of these shows of House of the Dragon, this is really not your place.

4:44Ronnie Karam: This is not it.

4:45Ben Mandelker: This is when it comes to this stuff. I am not judicious the way Ronnie is. I did not go back and rewatch it. Because I also don't think that a TV show, you should be obligated to do that. I am sitting down watching it the way I would have watched it anyway. And so you will hear some maybe frustrating questions from me like, what's that person's name again? Who did they do? What was their thing? And I apologize, but don't act like you weren't doing the same thing too. Okay. We all were in the same boat. I have to say about the color, it was more colorful. I feel like every year this show takes a step forward towards looking nice.

5:20Ben Mandelker: The first season was almost entirely a black screen. Like you literally could see nothing. Last season, they're like, okay, we'll give you some light, but we're going to make sure everything looks blue, like certain scenes from the movie Traffic by Steven Soderbergh. and this year they're like okay we're actually going to add a little bit of a color palette so i agree it's sort of moving in the right direction um and i have to say i agree i thought this premiere was great and that's like the first time in this show where i feel like i was like oh my god that episode was so good like i feel like in the past there have been episodes where i've said that was a really good episode almost like wow they have so many dull boring episodes that i'm so impressed that they had like a really good episode and this is the first time where i was like oh this was like legit really good episode really strong tight everything moved together really well it sort of had the spirit of like the original game of thrones to me so i'm like really excited for where the season goes now based off that opening up well apparently this was supposed

6:18Ronnie Karam: to be the season finale of the second season but due to the writer's strike and stuff they had to end it at season eight last year so they didn't have this episode so it really makes more sense that way right because everything was leading up to this big you know war starting and so um really really strong also i don't i didn't watch it again because i felt obligated it wasn't like i have to do this for work it was because i literally don't remember anything i mean when we talk about below deck every season i'm like who like we'll talk about last season you know that may have just aired a week ago and i just everything is deleted out of my head so i just have to because i don't remember and also i really love this show i want i re-watched all of game of thrones too back when we started doing this podcast because we didn't start doing this show until the last season right the game last season yeah yeah so i watched it all and i just love it more because I understand more, you know, when I see it a second time.

7:21Ronnie Karam: But yeah, and also you can fast forward stuff, which makes it helpful. Yeah, that makes it nice. We ended last season with Reyna, not to be confused with Ray-Ray or Rainiera, is looking for that, you know, wild dragon. Poor girl. Because she heard from Lady Jane that there is a dragon and is roaming around and it's just frying sheep dragons really they need to be more chill with how they're cooking i mean this guy just like cooks that it's black you know it's just like

7:56Ben Mandelker: it's all it's always cooked the same way it's like okay we get it you love to grill yeah but you guys haven't learned any uses do you know about air frying have you heard about that um i think it's so funny well first of all poor reyna spent all of last season it felt like wandering around hillsides looking for this giant dragon and i think it's funny it's like rumor has it there's a giant dragon out here the dragon is enormous how has no one seen it like and it flies around it's so it's just it's such a visible thing and they're like well we hear there's a dragon like did you not hear that noise did you notice how the sheep are gone

8:34Ronnie Karam: did you see the thing yeah i think they cloud yeah they knew that there was a dragon it's just that lady jane didn't tell reina there was a dragon necessarily because it's a wild dragon so she's like it's not like that dragon's protecting our land you still have to send us more dragons like what i got a couple of baby dragons and then some wild ass underbite dragon oh my god we finally see this dragon and it has this huge underbite how cute was this

8:59Ben Mandelker: Invisalign. So cute. I was like, but I did want to have some Invisalign. I was like, you know, let's help this dragon out a little bit. I forgot about Lady Jane, by the way. She's very withholding, so it makes sense that she wouldn't say where the dragon is because she just didn't seem to like these kids anyway.

9:14Ronnie Karam: Well, it's a wild dragon. You know, what are you going to do? Yeah, Lady Jane Aaron had to take them in and stuff. So Raina, she knew about this, so she's been trying to get this dragon because everybody wants their own dragon until they get one. It's a man. so she uh goes looking for this dragon and finally finds it and at the end the dragon is over cooking some fucking sheep again yeah just like a little dry nothing by the time it's done with it and she first of all her thing fifth of all i should say because it's not the first of all but she her whole job on this show is to look both like horrified and scared and nervous and upset all at the same time so she's always like and by the time we've waited for two years i mean the last scene was her finding the dragon and then this season we start with her still finding their dragon this girl is age 40 years i was like this poor thing is a vacation and a facial

10:17Ben Mandelker: it's a good thing that her hair is already just like white because like she i was like this is not the same young woman that we met before okay which makes sense i mean i would be haggard too after spending an entire season roaming around what looks like scotland looking for a giant dragon so she finally finds the dragon sheep stealer which i'm sure by the way i'm sure this dragon really appreciates that name he's like why can't i be called something cool like like there's like vegar there's vormax veermax carmax carfax like can i be called something

10:49Ronnie Karam: better than sheep stealer i know it's the most obvious name i would be offended too if someone was just like oh hey i'm an em eater like excuse because i kind of can you give me something better

11:01Ben Mandelker: like what the hell yeah sheep terrorizer but like it like literally every other dragon has such a scary strange medieval sounding name and it's like i'm a sheep stealer watch out i'm a threat Because I steal a very docile animal that's easily stealable.

11:20Ronnie Karam: Watch out, everyone. Sheepstealer. So she comes up to Sheepstealer, and it ended with them. Last season ended with them kind of facing off. But this season, the dragon's just eating, and she kind of sneaks up on the dragon. And then just gets on him. She's like, can I get on you? And it's like, sure. Well, where are we going? Just not the dentist. Anywhere but the orthodontist.

11:42Ben Mandelker: sheep stealer apparently was people curious because I think a sheep stealer would have like sheep stealer knew that Reyna was getting on board it wasn't like sheep stealer was like oh whatever I think sheep stealer was like I'll give this a try but you know sheep stealer is kind of annoying I'm not gonna lie like sheep stealer is like we'll get into it burning the wrong things flying all crazy when you got this sweet lady on board can you just try to rein it in a little bit I mean her name is literally Reyna

12:12Ronnie Karam: so like reina it in listen it's these people are just like i want a sheet you know i want a dragon and so everybody's getting a dragon the last season the last season ended with just everybody getting a dragon you know they're like i found a dragon i'm a i'm a bastard who deserves a dragon they're like okay we burned 12 other masters but you you you and ulf and the other dude the um i forget his name right now but the other um sailors fun they all they all get their dragon You guys have to, yeah, you have to teach these people what to do. And you have to teach the dragons. The dragon doesn't know what to do.

12:48Ronnie Karam: And she starts speaking Valerian to the dragon. Well, congratulations on your tutoring. But the dragon doesn't know this. Who taught the dragon this language?

12:58Ben Mandelker: Yeah. Yeah, like you don't give your 16-year-old kid a Lambo when they turn 16. Okay, they're just going to crash it. There needs to be some sort of like Honda Civic of dragons that they start with. I know you're like, once you get your dragon, you're bound for life. But I think the dragons should have a little bit more self-respect to say, you know what? You look like a great kid, but I'm going to let you get some reps on a JV dragon, and then you can work your way up to me. Because I feel like the fact that the dragon's like, sure, you're totally unqualified to ride me, but I guess you'll just ride me.

13:34Ben Mandelker: That actually speaks a lot to the dragon's self-esteem. Like the dragon has to really center themselves a little bit more and raise their standards of who's going to ride them. Because this is just, it's just a, it's a mismatch.

13:45Ronnie Karam: Well, you know, maybe it could be good. They just have to, they have to train. I mean, you can't just like get in your car and be like, oh, wow, I'm driving. Let's drive into a battle and kill it. I know. Into a battle. Yeah. But you know. Hindsight is 2020.

13:59Ben Mandelker: Am I right? You know what they say? Dragons are like boats. Their best days are the days you get them and the days you sell them.

14:05Ronnie Karam: well it's like i told my dad when i crashed my first car sorry

14:14Ronnie Karam: then we go to uh so she's flying this dragon all over the place and screaming her head off

14:19Ben Mandelker: as we all would she's like do you have apple carplay i want to listen to my music i know

14:27Ronnie Karam: it's like us telling younger people like we used to not even have uh apple maps or google maps like We used to have to use a Thomas guide where we would have to pull out a map from the ground. It would be as thick as an encyclopedia and hold it open to find out where we're going. She didn't even have that. How does she know where she's going?

14:46Ben Mandelker: She just has a Discman and then one of those tape cassette adapters. She's just trying to plug it into its scales. Is there somewhere I can insert this? I got the new Sarah McLachlan CD.

14:58Ronnie Karam: Is there still cigarette lighters that we can plug things into in the car? also by the way also reyna and the cassettes also reyna is the worst babysitter i've ever seen listen you were supposed to bring some dragon eggs and some children okay that's all you had to do and she skipped out on babysitting the children she was like bye i'm gonna go find a dragon excuse me those little blonde children wandering around everybody wants to kill those

15:27Ben Mandelker: children what are you doing especially lady jane she's unhinged well so reyna finally goes up and then she she goes up and then she's screaming well what did you think was gonna happen you just got onto a wild dragon and she's i kind of feel like you either get on and you and you and you hold your composure or you don't get on the first place but don't get on start screaming like

15:48Ronnie Karam: crazy make the dragon upset yeah so then we go to amond um who's a real rascal this guy so we used to call him Laura Dern. We used to say Eamon was playing by Laura Dern. I think we can mention that. We still say that he was played by Laura Dern. And that's the first thing when I saw him. He's a really good actor. God, this guy's fucking evil as hell. So he pulls Orwell, who's like the nurse guy, out of his bed and takes him to the council room and throws him down. And he's like, Nia, I can make it clean. He's like, what'd I do? What the fuck? You're gonna at least tell me what I did first? And he's like, where is my brother?

16:29Ronnie Karam: Because at the end of last season, Laris got Aegon the hell out of there. He's like, they're going to kill you, stupid. Let's go. Yeah.

16:38Ben Mandelker: So he's like, where is he? He's like, who? He's like, my brother, you idiot. Who else do I care about? Tom Hanks. Tom Hanks. We're supposed to have lunch later. I made a reservation at the grill on the alley. So I was like, well, he's in his quarters. He's like, well, you're a traitor to the crown. I sentence you to die. And then all of a sudden, he's about to chop his head off. But then Sir Jasper comes in and Jasper's like, my prince, it appears Lord Laris has fled the keep as well. And so now, you know, Lord Ardern's like, well, this is awkward. Yeah. And Oral's like, I mean,

17:23Ronnie Karam: thank God I didn't do anything to help the king. The last person I helped escape this place was your mother.

17:29Ben Mandelker: Sorry. Whoops. Yeah. Sorry. Sorry I'm not up on my TMZ subscription to know where Tom Hanks is at every good moment.

17:37Ronnie Karam: It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappens commercial.

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19:12Ronnie Karam: This episode is sponsored by Klarna. You know when you buy something practical like groceries, plane tickets, or honestly, I just did a whole, I need a new summer clothes because apparently none of last year's clothes survived my emotional support snacking era situation. And you realize you're not thinking about what you're buying, but how you're paying for it?

19:30Ben Mandelker: I've actually been using Klarna for that because it gives you options. You can pay now, later, or over time depending on how you want to handle it. Sometimes I'll split something into a few payments so I don't have to deal with it all at once. And I like that. You know, I like that everything's super clear in the app. You always know what you owe and when, so there aren't weird surprises.

19:48Ronnie Karam: And it's not just for huge purchases either. I've used it for everyday stuff, and you can even get cash back and deals in the Klarna app, which honestly feels like kind of a smarter way to handle spending day-to-day. Less pressure, more flexibility.

20:01Ben Mandelker: Download the Klarna app today or visit Klarna.com to learn more.

20:05Ronnie Karam: California resident loans made or arranged pursuant to a California financing law license and MLS number 1353190. 9-0. Klarna balance account required to be eligible for cashback points. Limitations, terms, and conditions apply.

20:22Ronnie Karam: Then we go to Larys and Aegon in a carriage fleeing the city. Aegon, I have to say, has healed up pretty well. He looks great. I mean, for being burned by a dragon and having half of his face burned off, he's really healing up quite well in jail.

20:39Ben Mandelker: Yeah, but he's in need, and so he's like i need milk of the puppy which i forgot about milk of the poppy that always makes me laugh what a silly name for a drug and so larry's like you know it's not like the poppy seed milk it's like people shoot up heroin i'm assuming yeah but it's just sort of a funny milk of the puppy milk of the poppy where you been getting your arnica because you're healing up really really well yeah laris by the way speaking of healing up really well i feel like laris looks better i feel like the actor like i don't know what happened did he fill out or or he he looks younger but i'm like laris got got like a little bit of a glow up in a way i can't put my finger on i'm like

21:25Ronnie Karam: laris shouldn't be looking good laris right definitely had a glow up i don't know what it is either i mean he's dressed the same he's got the same hair he's still acting the same but there is something subtly different. I don't know, but he was definitely finer today.

21:43Ben Mandelker: Well, what it was, it's almost like most actors are very attractive. And then when they do these roles as being creepy, they're made to look creepy. And I wonder if he was like, alright, so I've put in my two years of looking creepy, but I'm actually a very attractive actor, and I've graduated top of my class at the English School of English Acting, so is it okay if we start making me look better now? the royal academy of acting of english i've i've done it her majesty's acting royals academy of

22:13Ronnie Karam: acting her ladies sir hrh yeah my thought was definitely does he have a dimple in his chin now like what what happened to laris and how can i get his nipples because it is yeah it is a glow up he was hot so yeah eggum's like give me some fucking drugs and he's like oh i i'm afraid in a hasty flight i neglected to bring any because you know he loves seeing a bitch in pain laris he does like oh i got a club foot now i like everybody else to be miserable at all times also it's really

22:45Ben Mandelker: dangerous to um to do interstate travel with milk of the poppy in your stuff in your luggage like because if you get that very it's really each each region of westeros has different laws and you know it's like technically it's like yes it's legal locally but not nationally and so it's a whole issue.

23:06Ronnie Karam: And he's like, please give me some drugs. He's like, oh, just chill. Okay, listen, we're escaping. Things are going to get better. Go back to bed. And he's like, I'm the king of nothing. With a raven shit for a throne, with raven shit for a throne and a cripple for a protector. I'm fucking pathetic. Well, you don't need to... What else is new? Yeah, you don't need to come at Laris. Jeez, we'll call a cripple about it.

23:32Ben Mandelker: it's like oh sorry for saving your life and getting handsomer while i did it sorry so uh all of a sudden they have to stop the carriage because there's like some soldiers there and they're like hello yay it's like border patrol basically i know anybody who's ever driven around

23:51Ronnie Karam: with weed in their car knows this experience to el paso oh shit here we go there's that dog circling your car. They're looking under your car. I'm like, I did not hide the weed under the car, okay? It's in my pocket.

24:05Ben Mandelker: So Laris is like, I'm a simple man of service from the Citadel, and we are taking these ravens to White Harbor. They're like, oh, your skin regimen, can you tell me about it? You look quite good for someone who's traveling so far.

24:19Ronnie Karam: Wait a minute. You look like you've had a glow up, and you look like you've had a glow down.

24:24Ben Mandelker: Do you go to the gym a lot?

24:26Ronnie Karam: Do you use red light?

24:28Ben Mandelker: Yes or no? You're in the Queen's lands. Emphasis on Queen, girl. Hey. But anyway, in order to pass, you have to first denounce the usurper, bend the knee, and swear fealty to her grace, the one true Queen, Ray Ray. And so Larif's like, okay, whatever. And so he gets down on his knee. But then, of course, Aegon's like, what? And they're like, what? What's happening over here? What's going on with this one over here?

24:56Ronnie Karam: Yeah. and they're like you better kneel and he's like fuck you

25:00Ben Mandelker: the queen fuck you

25:02Ronnie Karam: so they you know they punch him in the stomach to make him go down dude aren't you burnt enough you're burnt and broken just

25:10Ben Mandelker: just kneel be better at like being undercover okay

25:15Ronnie Karam: and also his hair is kind of sticking out like his blonde hair like a hoodie does not cover anything it's like in this week's mcbee dynasty when galena the crazy russian lady goes to knock cameras off of buildings and she just wears a hoodie and then stares straight into the camera. What do you think the hoodie is going to do? Okay, your hair is still hanging out of there. We see your whole face. He sort of looks like

25:39Ben Mandelker: Galena meets Emily from Survivor, you know? Which one's Emily? Oh my god, Emily from Survivor. I really think about it. I would love it if his character was more like Emily from Survivor. She's like, hey, I gotta tell you something. Got a secret. So Larys is like, okay, well, the gig is up. Thanks a lot, King. So he's like, oh, well, it's a very lucky day for you, my lord. The reason this man won't swear fealty to Rhaenyra is because he is Aegon Targaryen. And you're being told this by a very surprisingly handsome man.

26:20Ronnie Karam: He's the king, you fucks. And he's like, wait a minute. Why wouldn't you tell us you're king? What is going on here? And Aegon's like, uh-uh. And Lyraus is like, yes, he was burnt by dragon fire. And by Rhaenys, Tygerian, and her dragon at the Battle of Brook's Rest. And I'm, his graces, loyal counsellor and lord of hair and all. Wait a second. Wait a second.

26:46Ben Mandelker: He's the one who's like, I'm a wee. Oh, but Rhaenys has been off in what looks like Scotland looking for a dragon. No, that's Rhaenar. oh but so renece yes well that's our queen no that's renece again she's the one who was always sucking on a sucking candy till she died oh yes yes yes andy rooney ain't that the one that passed

27:09Ronnie Karam: away after giving us all so much information on 60 minutes it's not even similar really

27:18Ben Mandelker: so they so so laris is like by the way check this out got the crown and of course these guys who probably have never even seen the ground and have never i mean it could have been a dupe who knows but they they're like this is enough for us like wait a second and so the captain's like oh pretty here take the heads we'll make a rich power for the queen and so laris is like well forgive me my lord but you would lose your own less attractive head for such a misstep this is the challenger himself and you can name your prize for delving him and his most trusted confidant to the queen as living hostages.

27:53Ben Mandelker: Take it from a newly hot person. You'll get more for him. And you don't understand what it's like when you were ugly for so long and you can become hot. Think of what that money could do for you.

28:05Ronnie Karam: Yeah, and so they're like, okay, we'll just kill everybody else with him then. So then they kill the poor extras. I mean, Jesus, people can never catch a break. So now they're going to take Aegon to Duskendale and hire a ship to Dragonstone. So then we go to our beloved Ray Ray Yeah

28:26Ben Mandelker: And Ray Ray has just met with Alicent Because Alicent had made her way To Dragonstone to be like Yeah, things are going to shit Kill my kids

28:36Ronnie Karam: Kill my kids, okay I do not even care I'll give you my children Just let me go on a vacation Celebrity is so hard I'm so sick of being known Let me go on a break Just get me somewhere with half affordable fish tacos. Okay. And a beach. I'm totally fine. Kill my children. They suck. They did a terrible job.

28:58Ben Mandelker: Yeah. And so Jace is like, so now Ray Ray is like, well, I have to believe that Alison's author was genuine. And Jace is, I mean, author. And Jace is like, because Jace is so annoying and he's been annoying all this time. And he's like, it's a ruse, mummy, cloaked in a style of friendship. He's like, no, the risk she took in coming here is beyond question. She flew Spirit Airlines in its final days A middle seat Do you know what she sacrificed to get here?

29:24Ronnie Karam: She basically flew on a stool to get here Surely she's not lying And he's like, no, it's a trap, dumbass She's trying to lure you and Daemon into Vhagar's jaws And she's like, no, no Vhagar and Aemon are gone They've flown to Harrenhal And done a very, very long storyline That's bored the audience in tears But Aegon is bedridden and I could take Aegon and the throne in a single stroke. Surely he's not semi-hot again yet. Surely he's not.

29:55Ben Mandelker: Jace is like, no, you cannot trust him, mother. And so then the council walks in and Ray Ray is like, no, Alicent came to Dragonstone onto a banner of peace. She also brought a half-eaten croissant from the airport Starbucks. I appreciate the gesture, wish she hadn't dug in. She said she was starving. She got nothing on the flight. Anyway, neither here nor there. The Greens know already that their defeat is written. aemon flies on vague arter join cole in the riverlands and with him gone allison will open the gates of the red keep and surrender aegon to me and i will take the head and the throne of course it's all very simple because we're in the first episode of the season so what could

30:30Ronnie Karam: possibly go wrong yeah man she really wants to believe out i mean allison was telling the truth you know allison doesn't know everybody else was fucking up allison's like just kill him take i'm literally terrible okay nobody gets this intel like i get the lady who drove into the ditch with her with her kids like i get it just she's like yeah like you try going through a fucking mall with these kids for two days and tell me you don't want to murder them too okay they're terrible seriously get a fucking menu to color and shut him up or kill him like i literally don't care so um they're like well what are her you know the staff or whatever it's like what are her terms though like she just came in here she just snuck away and still had perfect hair by the way and and just like no dirty clothes or anything and just offered you everything.

31:19Ronnie Karam: I mean, what does she want? She's like, well, she just wants, you know, her Helena and Jaehaerys red, you know? So whatever. She doesn't want more bloodshed. Yeah.

31:29Ben Mandelker: So Miseria's like, that is a low price. Are you sure she can be trusted? And so Rhaenyra's like, get word to Lord Corlys in the gullet. I require ships to deliver fighting men enough to secure the sitting so she basically wants the sea snake is doing sea snake things and she wants some of the sea snakes ships to help with this you know surprise attack on king's

31:53Ronnie Karam: landing and she needs daemon back so get him back here i'll write him i will write him immediately something that always really um gets me when i watch this show is i'm like it's so it's like so hard without phones because i know just like all this shit's already happening and she doesn't even know and she's like well write a letter you know you're just so behind and then allison can't just call her and be like oh sorry plans have changed okay plans have changed we have to do things a little differently now you know things like not even a telegram like there's

32:25Ben Mandelker: nothing yeah like if she had like threads she could be like oh wait shit the king's missing okay so we won't do this but now she's gonna find out the long way it's amazing how we got

32:35Ronnie Karam: imagine if rany era had facebook she'd be like don't even ask and rany era would be like she'd

32:43Ben Mandelker: be like can you believe these are the bombshells they sent home check oh my god don't even ask about the day i've had just vague posting yeah vagar posting so then so then allison she uh is back at king's landing took her forever to get to to dragonstone but now she just waltzes right back in King's Landing. And she's like, I need to speak to the king. So she walks the council, but then she's like, they take her to the throne room. And she's like, what? And Aemond is sitting there. Laura Dern, that is. And she's like, Laura, what are you, why are you here? And he's like, Aegon has abdicated the throne, mother.

33:25Ben Mandelker: She's like, abdicated? What do you mean? He's like, what do you think it means? Abdicated. It's the definition. It's gone. He fled. Slow up with that newly

33:34Ronnie Karam: hot-toed Larys. And she's like, oh, wait, but he was in bed. How the hell is he?

33:40Ben Mandelker: Well, that's not cool. So I have to make out with him when he's ugly, and then he leaves, and now he gets hot. That's just not cool.

33:47Ronnie Karam: Yeah, so is Aegon giving him feet to jerk off to? Because, hi, you got a prime toe right here. What the fuck? Where is he gonna go? And he's like, he's more stupid than he is craven. She's like, oh my god, we gotta send a search party. Oh my god, find him. Find him immediately. I suddenly want to be around my son. Get him back.

34:09Ben Mandelker: So he's like, By the way, where were you, mother? You've not been seen in the keeping days. Well, long pause. I was in Kingswood. Eamon, it's a new casino. It's a Native American reservation in the east of Westeros. They've got great slots. I saw Winona Judd. It's a great performance. Why do you care? I have found myself of little use of here late. And what of Harrenhal? You and Vhagar were meant to fly to meet Sir Christian and challenge Daemon together in a very boring part of our country. Why didn't you go there?

34:41Ronnie Karam: He's like, well, Aegon has left me no choice but remain here and defend the city. I will be here to defend King's Landing. Which, by the way, I've enjoyed starving. I've enjoyed watching starve. And he's basically like, nope, things have changed. Okay? We've got a war about to happen. and the Triarchy fleet is going to ambush a blockade with a force thrice to see Snake's strength.

35:10Ben Mandelker: I swear to God the Triarchy drives me nuts. I can't deal with the Triarchy. Remember season one was all about the Triarchy there's a Triarchy blockade watch out for the Triarchy and then there was that strange leader of the Triarchy and then they finally killed that guy but the crab, he was like, what did they call him? The crab?

35:28Ronnie Karam: Oh the fucking crab guy You know what they even cut him out Mostly of all of the recaps of the show Like most of the recaps Okay and then they killed the crab guy Is he supposed to be like the grandfather

35:40Ben Mandelker: Or like some sort of paternal figure To Loja because they do sort of look alike And there's sort of like a vibe there I think she was trying to avenge his death In this episode To who? No Loja She's the triarchy baddie

35:56Ronnie Karam: Oh god that lady that lady is like a she's like an actor from the saturday afternoon xena the warrior princess or hercules one of those where she's like i win she's a lot i thought she was um better this season like they don't i don't know i don't i wouldn't say tone her down i don't know i don't know why i was even wondering so much about her but i was like what what's the difference between her last season and this season. She was more palatable I think this time. But I liked her boat. What was her? They're like, get on the, we've got to get her ship. The bitch ship. Whatever. Whatever it was called.

36:35Ronnie Karam: Bitch ship? Yeah, it was called something like that. It was so funny. We'll get to it. So, um, now we go to Corlys and his crew. Um, the sea snake sailing through the sea. And then we go to Damon and he's fighting his battle in the Riverlands.

36:51Ben Mandelker: just a lot of fighting this one which is just like having a casual battle just like you know just it's sort of like wrapping it up we're at the sort of the end of it and yeah but he like

37:02Ronnie Karam: he's gonna clean every last table off perfectly he's gonna get every crumb off the table he's like pushing people down stabbing them and then taking his knife back out and then stabbing them in the face too but it's like they can't even he's like you will not even look cute when you're dead I'm going to make you so ugly when you're dead

37:21Ben Mandelker: at what point do you just like step out of the way and let the dragon just incinerate everyone else who's left you're sort of like wasting your effort at this point but then so he's killing people and then he goes up to Lord Oscar Tully and so Lord Tully is like the Lannister host has scattered my prince the vanguard has smashed and the rear guard broken and flared and Damon's like could you just speak to me in proper English what everyone ran away yes they're gone they everyone ran away thinking and what about the

37:54Ronnie Karam: gorgeous lord lannister and toli's like uh he ran uh he ran when the calvary broke rank okay our scouts believe that he might be regrouping near the gods are the gods every time they say the gods i'm like oh this is where helena said the daemon's gonna die i can't wait to see it bring on the god's eye so daemon's like okay well let's keep fighting them you know don't let any of those fuckers get away all right guys well we're gonna dig some graves for all these dead people he's like just have the dragon kill him he's like that is not how we do it river men must be returned to the mud we're very respectful after we all i like how everyone has so much respect after they're just like wonton murdering each other all we've seen on the show is murder and And they're like, I know.

38:42Ben Mandelker: Please. You know the river, man. Tully, House Tully, that was Red Wedding House, right? Or was that what's - What's-his-face? The House Tully. I always get - Don't start asking me history. Shit. Yeah, House Tully, they were the ones, the two, like the twins or something like that. And there was like that. That's the, you know, that was the house. The guy who set up the whole Red Wedding, it was House Tully. The House Tully is just a pain. And so now, of course, it's Lord Tully being like, wait a second. No. Rather than us going home and getting good night's sleep, we have to return all the river men to the mud.

39:22Great.

39:23Ronnie Karam: Wasn't Red Wedding the Freys, Walter Frey? Remember that old gross guy? And then Arya goes and kills him. Like, that's her revenge.

39:34Ben Mandelker: Oh, Tully was the guy who went to... who went to become like an academic at the end right oh my gosh see this is the part i've

39:47Ronnie Karam: warned everyone yeah don't ask me questions um okay so lord where are we so they're gonna just they have to go now they have to take some time out to bury these fucking people okay i'm sorry

40:00Ben Mandelker: the guy that one of the tullys was killed in the red wedding that's why i got it confused you're Right, Frey were those people. Waldo Frey. Yes, sorry. Sorry, everyone.

40:13Ronnie Karam: So then the old bastard army shows up, which I like. The guys from The Wall. In the beginning of the season where he's like, I've got the old people. I can send you the old people. He's like, damn it, I don't want a bunch of old men. And they're like, we're here. We got the head of this Lannister fuck. And they throw the head of the Lannister twin down.

40:34Ben Mandelker: Yeah. and I just want to do an update Tully Tully is the family that Kat Kat was from from Game of Thrones so I cut it completely wrong that was the family that was her brother well you all know

40:48Ronnie Karam: everyone knows how many people just beat the shit out of their steering wheel well that's why I had to correct

40:53Ben Mandelker: it I will always correct it when I feel myself just going astray I'm going to correct it so that way no one loses their mind but like we figured out the Tully thing I mix it up with the phrase and I also mix it up with what's his face the guy from the wall who became an academic yeah so then my brain i'm like

41:14Ronnie Karam: so then we go to kristen cole who is so funny right now i love watching kristen cole feel things he's like uh something like an existential crisis i don't know why it makes me laugh but he's just like i'm depressed uh i've realized that it's all death and now i'm painting swords you've got have a hobby leave me alone yeah so swords shields she's like sitting there painting dots on shields he's like this is a this is a sword right it's a shield god damn it i'm really depressed right

41:46Ben Mandelker: it's more confusing than trying to remember who the tullies are yeah um shields now yeah so gwayne goes in and gwayne has just seen a lady um basically get well the assumption is that she basically just got sexually assaulted in a tent. And so he's really upset about that. And so Gwaine's like, so by the way, has there been any word from Damon or anything? He's like, no. Because, you know, he and Vhagar were supposed to have joined us, remember, at the Antlers.

42:21Ronnie Karam: Yeah, Kristen's like, whatever, I'm making a ladybug shield, so can I have some time? And he's like, well, there's another matter. One of our men ravaged a village girl and I will not have it. Something must be done. He's like, oh, God, hang him. What do I fucking care? God, does this look like a ladybug or a dot?

42:39Ben Mandelker: Well, I am not his lord commander. Punishment is due, yes, but also a statement to the men that we are not beasts, but knights and soldiers of honor. And Kristen's like, um, have you seen my resume? No kidding. Let's, uh, let's just focus on the arts and crafts for tonight.

42:57Ronnie Karam: Yeah, and he's like, have you looked around you? There's dragons. We're all dead. I do not give a fuck. Have you ever heard of something called Needlepoint?

43:08Ben Mandelker: It's kind of like embroidery, but a little bit different. But we can't abandon our principles. He's like, Needlepoint. Needlepoint. So now we go to the Isle of Faces on the God's Eye Lake near Harrenhal. Beautiful at this time of year. And by the way, Ronnie, as I set up the scene, you have a little crackle on your microphone from your phantom power. Oh, thank you. Yeah, no problem. So now it's gone. So, yeah, look at that. Look at that, I'm magical. Did you use a spell? So now we have Ulf Hugh Glass, which, by the way, doesn't sound like a real name. Hugh Glass sounds like something that Bart Simpson would call Moe's to be like, I'm looking for Hugh, Huge Glass.

43:53Ben Mandelker: Somebody can name Hugh Jazz, Huge Glass. and add to them of hull they're sitting around a fire waiting for daemon

44:00Ronnie Karam: importantly one of them is soothing thank you yeah um so yeah ulf is telling them that he never knew his mother and he was looked at like a mongrel dog and he used to wish for death and he was molested by a priest and because he had blonde hair the priest would tell him oh you have king's blood so you're born for a purpose and he's like i mean i took that story and i owned it off the dragon seed and the red cup fitness was right okay you guys where'd you get your dragon's blood it's like jeez isn't it sad enough we're sitting on the fucking aisle of faces jeez at least kristen cole's doing crafts can we do something anything else do you have the trauma dump

44:48Ben Mandelker: literally after you take a dump as we try to bond right now god the show's obsessed with

44:53Ronnie Karam: watching people poop because the other game of thrones show that they had this year was the night of the seven kingdoms and the very first episode you get to watch the guy pooping by a tree except that one you saw the poop splurting out of his butt like it's over and you just watch the poop coming out i don't know that's you know i don't just i don't need that i don't need you

45:15Ben Mandelker: So these shows are just famous for how charming and cozy they are. I actually like the detail of it because it's, you know, whenever I'd watch 24, I'd be like, when does Jack Bauer go to the bathroom? And like, sometimes it's good to sort of insert these kind of like, this is how they spend the times of their, this is how they do the things in this universe. So I think it's oddly world building, even if it is involving sound effects that may not.

45:40Ronnie Karam: No, I don't like it. And I think that's a difference between us in general, because you will talk about poop. I'm just not like a big poop discusser You know I don't care Like I know that everybody poops But I don't know we should be shameful of it And keep it to ourselves

45:53Ben Mandelker: We should be ashamed

45:57Ben Mandelker: So they're waiting around Because they're waiting around for the queen Or something They're waiting for a date What are they doing They're supposed to be there to

46:08Ronnie Karam: They're supposed to be there to They're supposed to be there to meet Vhagar you know but wait is it vegar oh god yeah stop asking me questions well i don't yes they were supposed they're supposed to kick vegar's they're supposed to kick vegar's ass that's why there's three of them there but vegar is not coming because they changed the plans remember because he's still at the castle left with aiment because now they have to watch king's landing yeah again some text messages would really solve this um for them not for me so they're like all excited they're waiting and also jobson hall has not come onto the scene yet office like well it the fight

46:50Ben Mandelker: will be worth it for a castle and out and add a dumb is like what castle it's like but the queen promises to make us not so we get a castle right like no you have to be named a lord to get a castle say well what i'll not get then like a horse it's like what what i need a fucking horse with a dragon. It's like, that's why we're laughing at you.

47:11Ronnie Karam: Yeah. They're like, well, maybe you'll get laid. Like, you'll get laid more. He was like, you'll get more. But he's like, oh, God, great. It's like, I'd get more ass with the castle. Thank you. So then we are back to Raina being thrown off this, you know, wild dragon sheep stealer being thrown off. So he takes her to the very top of the mountain and throws her off. And she's like, Jesus! And so she tries to sing to him. She's like, I'm going to calm him down by singing. She's like, Hello, my honey. Hello, my baby. Hello, my ragtime. He's like, shut up! You suck! Harry Styles or death?

47:57Ben Mandelker: Yeah. What karaoke is this? She's like, by the way, this has been fun, but I actually am technically babysitting, so could you take me back to Lady Jane? Thanks. so now alicent is doing her favorite thing which is writing a letter quietly and mournfully and uh helena comes up and alicent is like did you know that aegon had fled he was meant to be here it's aemon who should have flown and helena's like you're frightened it's like yeah well no shit your mom is like pale and she's shaking so it's like well sir christian and sir gwayne are in great peril and i fear only for our knights aemon should be with them yeah she's like we're fucked

48:33Ronnie Karam: okay i just made a plan with ray ray everything is fucked and she's trying not to let it show too much to helena because helena's psychic okay yeah he's not she's gonna see through this bullshit and allison's like shakily like doing the wax on the letter thing um and she calls somebody in to take the letter and she's like it's from the king take it take it immediately dispatch one of your fastest riders and deliver this quickly um and helena's like the king's orders. What the fuck are you talking about? She's like, with haste. Don't listen to the psychic crazy one.

49:08Ben Mandelker: She's cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs. Don't worry about what she has to say. So now Coralus and Alan, his son Alan, they're on the sea snake. And Coralus is like, Alan, sit. Now, here's a bottle of booze. I saved it. It's from Ib. And Alan's like, oh, I don't really drink. It's too late. I already opened it up. You're off the wagon. all right, well, I'm not going to drink alone. And, you know, so have some of this, enjoy it, get wasted. Let's have a great time tonight. What could possibly go wrong? We're about to have an absolutely super fun afternoon.

49:44Ronnie Karam: He's like, as your father, I know I haven't been there for you a lot, but as your father, I want to teach you the best time to drink is when you're driving. Let's get shit-faced, right? Let's get shit-faced. At first I was like, oh God, I don't want another like daddy-son scene. I can't with the son being like, oh, you were never there for me. Because I just had watched the last season. So I was like, oh, God, please don't be another long scene. God, this episode really gave us so much more. And they added in some more mommy son issues. Super sexy ones, too. So they made up for it. But this drink looks crazy.

50:22It's like a purple drink that he was drinking.

50:25Ben Mandelker: I would not have ordered it. But Corlys is like, well, good news. Rhaenyra's advantage is now absolute. She will surround the city with her dragons and force the surrender of Aegon and Aemon. Everything is just going perfectly. So perfect. We have time to sit back and drink this alcohol. And you have enough time to even fall off the wagon, get back into rehab, and then start going to your group therapy again. So cheers to that.

50:52Ronnie Karam: Yeah, he's like, don't worry. Ray Ray's going to take the city. It's no problem. Let's get shit-faced. And Alan's like, yeah, I don't think Eamon's the type to just sit around and abandon the throne. This doesn't sound right. Thank you. And Corliss is like, oh, let's have a father-son scene. There are rough seas between us, but I accept that I did wrong.

51:13Ben Mandelker: Sorry about it. Robert, I know that we're like a Navy family and all that, but when we're talking about our relationship, you really don't have to compare everything to seafaring. It's like, I get it. Well, maybe people, but can we just like focus on us? Do you have to like go out of your way to make everything about rough seas and waves of emotion and things like that? Like, I really do get it.

51:38Ronnie Karam: Son, ever since you blew me off, I've been like a rope that's docking a boat. I've been in knots. All right. God damn it.

51:47Ben Mandelker: Father, you're really taking the wind out of my sails. Damn it, now I'm doing it.

51:51Ronnie Karam: I get that drinking doesn't really float your boat, but I wanted to have a discussion. Father. Father. Rub-a-dumby-duck-y. Dad, you're not even trying now. For Christ's sake.

52:05Ben Mandelker: Or am I spelled O-A-R. Dad, now you don't have to spit it out. I understood the pun you were making.

52:13Ronnie Karam: So he's like, sorry for being a bad dad. Whatever, I'm here now. Okay. And so then everyone's screaming outside. He's like pouring himself another drink. He's like, people are screaming. I think something's going on outside, Dad. Daddy's like, yeah, yeah. Guess what's going on inside? Dad's getting a break. All right. He's going to have a drink.

52:31Ben Mandelker: Well, guess what? Enemy ships are sighted. Three-fifty and counting so far. They already outnumber us. So Coralus is like, all right. Put the oars out. Again, O-A-R. Yes, Dad, I know what an oar is. Send ravens to Dragostone. Take us to the head of the blockade and signal the fleet. Form battle lines. Is it the Lannisters or the Greyjoys? it's the triarchy.

52:58Ronnie Karam: Tell those fuckers the fucking triarchy.

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55:37Ronnie Karam: California resident loans made or arranged pursuant to a California financing law license and MLS number 1353190. Klarna balance account required to be eligible for cash back points. Limitations, terms, and conditions apply. So now we go to the giant fleet of ships of the Triarchy. And Thailand Lannister is on board. Just saw his head. It was his brother. And he's freaking out because he's made a partnership with this low-hand chick. And she's terrifying. And so he's like, okay, the glit has three inlets to the Blackwater. All right. So the largest opens to the south at Driftmark. so we need to press towards the southern inland, all right?

56:24Ronnie Karam: Because if we engage with the Valyrian fleet at close combat, it will blunt the threat of Rhaenyra's dragons. Do you understand? They will not burn their own ship. She's like, ah, fuck it. I'm here to get fucking Sea Snake. Point me to Sea Snake. I don't give a fuck where he is. I can take him.

56:42Ben Mandelker: So Talon's like, well, yes, my strategy is expressly not to end up in the drink. So we will face death on this deck before we face it in the sea, and you will be glad of our armor when the fighting starts. She goes, I know I will. Because she does not want the armor. And then they're like, oh no! Sea Snake has raised the alarm. So, Lohar has this idea. She's like, if only to see his face, signal Halfjaw to take his detachment and penetrate the Northern Pass. He's like, what? The Northern Pass? I mean, that takes us so far out of the way. I mean, you know, there's not going to be a recharge station for miles and miles and miles.

57:21Ben Mandelker: I think we should just take the highway and just get there as soon as possible. She's like, no, we're going to go there and we're going to sack High Tide because High Tide is a monument to the sea snake himself. And do you think his focus will hold when he sees his treasure room aflame?

57:37Ronnie Karam: Yeah, he's like here's the thing we don't want to do. We don't want him to see us and we don't want to go to his neighborhood. And she's like, fuck him, I want him to see my face, he'll burn his house down. He's called Jesus. Why?

57:50Ben Mandelker: He'll kill the crab guy. I'm going to get him back.

57:54Ronnie Karam: So then we go to Reyna and the sheep stealer. He's left her on the mountain. Flown away. But then he comes back and she's like, oh my god. Thank god I've aged another 10 years. And he comes down and just barfs up some sheep. I didn't know they could do that. That's very bird-like. yeah it's like he brings her some sheep and then cooks them for her and yeah bless her heart she's so hungry she just goes and rips that thing open and starts just chowing down so embarrassing you never know when there's going to be cameras there to catch you i know she's she's starving i mean

58:30Ben Mandelker: like there's there's no seasoning there's nothing but she just needs it she just needs that food um so then uh lord doesn't even complain that it's overcooked which we all know it is so Lord Ormond is Hightower and his army are they're in the reach and then Allison's letter comes and you know it says like this is from the king so he's like Aemon says we have to make camp here and wait for the word he shall join us in three days time and they're like but isn't Aegon so it doesn't mean that like Aegon's dead he's like whatever one king is as good as another right mayhaps the weather will hold

59:09Ronnie Karam: Ormond Hottie yeah hottie mctotty wow this guy's last season i forget no i don't think so i think he's new right i think he is new and i think he's like raising um allison's other son that we haven't seen yet either well we haven't seen but this guy is so fucking hot and he's always got coke like he's got this little thing and he's like he's like sniffing it it's like this guy yeah god just what i wouldn't have given for this guy in my it's gonna be a problem two years ago

59:41Ben Mandelker: Rawr He's going to be a problem though I should say his drug addiction will be a problem It's going to put him in a compromising position And at a time that's the worst of all At a time when they need Ormond The most he's going to be like Either seeking out that high And he's going to get captured Or he's going to be overdosed Or something's going to happen And that little detail is going to be His undoing But it's this show so he's going to be like

1:00:08Ronnie Karam: I learned it from watching you Dad Yeah

1:00:13Ben Mandelker: So meanwhile back over at King's Landing Alicent and Aemond are talking And Alicent is like Oh it's my fault to win this position I strove tirelessly to put Aegon in the throne But I failed to prepare him to rule Oh but that's just a mother's plight It's all my fault And Aemond is like oh

1:00:31Ronnie Karam: She's trying to manipulate his ass Because he's so cold and evil And she's like you should have been trying to get him out of there unfortunately you weren't born first but maybe you should have been king that would have been great okay that's go to harren hall go to harren hall do that okay i've set you up so i need you to follow through with this and he's like why she's like because it's a stronghold we're all fighting over harren hall remember that was like kind of the whole thing so harren hall super important we've said it a million times okay and you're not safe here it's you know they're coming ray ray's coming for you he's like i'm not afraid of ray ray

1:01:09Ben Mandelker: he's like um well you you should be afraid maybe um but you're like you're like she's gonna kill you uh like do this look look here okay fly to the riverlands pull out damon um i've got some tickets to hamilton it's playing regionally over there i think you'll love it and they're really good seats so go there and you can just like go there i also got you an after like a meet and greet afterwards just take as much time as you need if you want there's a really good restaurant just go get out of here i'm just saying just go and you have to do it soon because they're not going to hold curtain for you so please just leave just leave get out of here yeah and she's

1:01:45Ronnie Karam: like please i can't lose you like i did i got i love you please and he you know he gets really close to her and she's like okay and then he you know he has mommy kinks because we saw him with that older hooker that he's like obsessed with at the at the whorehouse at the brothel or whatever um but wow he's really taken it literally and uh chosen for the kiss yeah and she's just she does not pull away she just is like oh jesus christ this too now i have to deal with this too

1:02:19Ben Mandelker: are you fucking kidding me she's like wow my roster is not great i had a king whose face fell off um i had this guy laris who would jerk off to my foot and now my son so my literal although she did have kristen cole kristen cole was her her high point i guess in terms of but yeah but

1:02:39Ronnie Karam: kristen cole was only with her because he wanted to get revenge after getting dumped by ray ray i mean yeah really can't she really can't win this one she just seems like great acting from her though my god she was like uh because he's kissing her and she's just like looking like um I guess this is what I have to do. Yeah. So he's like, okay, I'll host a feast there in your honor. And black heron's hole whilst my uncle head looks down from the spike. Keep the bed warm. She's like, oh, Jesus.

1:03:13Ben Mandelker: So now back to Ulf, Hugh, and Adadam. And Ulf is, oh, this is where he's going to the bathroom. I'm sorry, everyone. I thought that already happened.

1:03:22Ronnie Karam: i was gonna say yeah the pooping i think because i remember something crazy happens while he's pooping so at least they made it worth it so he's pooping and then he hears a noise and he sees like a goat guy a goat man or something he's like what the fuck is that it's like mr tum this in the for what the fuck is all of this this is all the forest people or what

1:03:44Ben Mandelker: no it's the witch creating images because anyway he's like what the hell what the hell Do you think she's just making them see things?

1:03:53Ronnie Karam: I thought it was one of those children of the tree people. Well, it could be.

1:03:57Ben Mandelker: But I just assumed that she's just trying to, like, mess with them. Because that's what she does. Like, that's, like, her little, literally her favorite thing is that she makes people see things. So, um, so they're like, we gotta get out of here. This place is wacky. And Olaf is like, who made you the fucking queen? I'm not long here. I'm gonna leave. And Adam's like, well, why don't you tell that to her, Grace? Bitch. Okay? You think we're going to leave? We're not going to do that.

1:04:23Ronnie Karam: Yeah, and they're all hearing noises. They're like, this place is fucking scary. And then Alice just comes out. She's like, hello. Your friend's right. You're missing the battle. The queen needs your dragon stone. Who the fuck are you? And she's like, a witch.

1:04:36Ben Mandelker: Just a standard witch. She's like, I know. I'm only about 630 years old. So Ulf is like, all right, bye. He's like, he just gets out of there.

1:04:46Ronnie Karam: Yeah, it's like, that's enough for me. Okay, I just saw a goat man while I pooped. listen to her so now we're back to bala and um oh no we're to bala we haven't been with bala yet sorry so we're with bala and she's running through the halls of dragonstone um screaming out that there's war she's like ray ray there's war there's ships they're coming from the east what the hell and jace is like i told you it was a trap dummy it wasn't a trap it was just

1:05:17Ben Mandelker: things got messed up that's all and so um she's like okay i'm gonna go i'm gonna go i'm gonna fix this and then of course jace is like mother stop you cannot do it you're just a woman she's like there's nothing you could say that i have not heard but if you die i think then she's like then she's like well then you'll be the last there'll be you'll be king so like calm down i'm gonna take care of this so she goes so she like change yeah yeah so she slams the door on him and

1:05:44Ronnie Karam: And then he goes to Sir Laurent and he's like, you better lock this door. The queen must be confined until she regains her senses. And he's like, yeah, that's the queen. I can't really do that. He's like, you are a knight of the king's god. You swore to protect her grace even from herself, who has the brain of a woman. Now, you'll probably die for this, but it's your life for hers.

1:06:07Ben Mandelker: So who do you follow? An 18-year-old man-child? or a lady and her lady brain. He's like, oh, man child. So he locks the door. This fucking guy.

1:06:21Ronnie Karam: So, uh, Bela is following him and she's like, yeah, you can't do that. That's treason, dumbass. And he's like, I'm joining the fight. And she's like, but you're making war with your mom and the queen. Hello. And he's like, what? This is all the work of an ambush. Like, rooks rest. So, they're trying to get her and she's falling for it. Which, I I mean, listen, to his credit, Rey Rey does seem all over the place at all times. You can't, you're the queen. You can't just fly right into the battle. But you also can't lock up the queen. I mean, what are you going to do? But he gets crazy eyes. He gets the Targaryen crazy eyes.

1:07:00Ronnie Karam: He's like, I'm going to do it whether you like it or not. It's like, oh, shit. All right. Guess it's time for you to die. You got the Targaryen eyes. Let's do this.

1:07:10Ben Mandelker: so uh then ray ray is like all right well i like this outfit this looks good i'm gonna go by the way uh don't wait up for me i'm just gonna go like destroy some boats then i'll be back

1:07:20Ronnie Karam: so she goes but of course the door is locked hold the door hold the door indeed yeah um so now we go to ships burning and war happening and people screaming. And it's like, war, war, war, war. And Corliss is yelling to keep up the chase. And Alan goes, flagships have been sighted, my lord. It's the bitch fist. That's what it is. The bitch fist.

1:07:52Ben Mandelker: I feel like that's not the official name of the boat, but I feel like it's what they call it. Because Corliss is like, you mean Lohar? It's like, yeah, bitch fist. So then Corliss is like It's hard enough He's like I want her to see Me So that's what happened There's like lots of fighting It is the official name Is it the official name the Bitch Fists

1:08:17Ronnie Karam: Way past Lohar To name her The Bitch Fists So Lohar is like

1:08:23Ben Mandelker: Here she comes lads A jewel in the rough Signal the fleet the sea snake belongs to us an equal share of the plunder when we take the ship so thailand is like um yeah but like should we like let's not get like distracted by like this one ship i think we should probably like focus on all these other ships and she's like oh whatever do you think i sailed across the narrow sea just to win your king's war for him and he's like yeah yeah basically he's like

1:08:52Ronnie Karam: we're the flagship we are literally the lead ship we cannot we're not supposed to be doing the fighting because we have to survive to lead everybody else. She's like, who cares? The sea snake sucks. Fucking kill him. Get his ass.

1:09:07Ben Mandelker: So, uh, meanwhile, Ray Ray and Mazaria are locked in their room, and Mazaria's like, he only wishes to protect you. And she's like, I've never asked to be protected. I expected from my council those craven men clutching at their doublets, stupid doublets that are still out of fashion, but my queen's god, my own son, huh,

1:09:26Ronnie Karam: So then she takes the dress And she just starts stabbing it And ripping it apart Which hopefully signals her turn To suit pants and stuff You know, I hope she's like Fuck this, fuck this symbolism Of me having to wear a dress all the time And she comes in some sweet slacks Or something

1:09:45Ben Mandelker: This is what Hillary Clinton did, I hear This is how she pivoted her fashion choices So then Rhaenyra Is like, I may appear to have the weak and feeble body of a woman, but I possess the heart and spirit of our king. So back at the battle, of course. How do I get this door unlocked?

1:10:03Ronnie Karam: Like, seriously. It's like, I'm a king! How do I get out of here? Anybody? A king would have a pick. You know what I mean? Or something. Yeah, seriously.

1:10:15Ben Mandelker: Again, text messaging would really help here.

1:10:18Ronnie Karam: Again. Or like a ladder, like a rope ladder or something. Always be prepared.

1:10:23Ben Mandelker: so the bitch fist is following alan and corliss in the seas and uh then jace and bala arrive on their dragons because you know bala came to help jace because jace is being so obnoxious and they're like she's gonna help him yeah and they're like burning things up and you know everyone is like everyone's excited because like the dragons will fix everything they're flying around and uh corliss is observing that lohar is just like the only thing that lohar wants is him lohar just wants is like and he's like this is why i wanted to show myself because i knew i would draw lohar and then we'd kill lohar and then their entire army would just be like useless without her

1:11:06Ronnie Karam: yeah so the dragons come in they start burning a bunch of shit and then um lohar gets the um that spear on a rope thing and yeah you know the dragon killer thing yeah and she gets it in one shot i mean she's she's pretty good she's really good too good icon yeah too good but she gets him and it's tied to a rope so it's like dragging the dragon dragging vermax back and it looks like he's dead and i knew i figured something like that was gonna happen when i saw the crazy eyes so i was like okay there he goes but then um baylor saves him by having the dragon come down and eat the rope, like bite through the rope and help them escape or whatever.

1:11:51Ronnie Karam: How do the dragons know such good commands? Like they're so good at following commands.

1:11:57Ben Mandelker: They're really good. They just have a good instinct. And so it looks very scary for Vermax, but then it's like everything's okay. So then they're like going back to being like crazy dragons, burning things up. And then Coralus is like, we're going to go through Dragonstone Pass because this is like a trick. so this is like below deck here this is when it's like captain zandy's like okay we got a really narrow slip to park the boat and we're gonna get in between put your fenders out because it's gonna be really narrow okay i need everyone's attention we're gonna get right through here yeah and uh

1:12:32Ronnie Karam: they're like we can't do this and corliss is like i can do it don't you worry about it and as soon as we get past this pass i want you to put out the water toys does everybody understand so corliss Can you make a tablescape? He's trying to guide the guy, and the guy's kind of freaking out a little. He's really nervous. He's like, you got to get, they're like, the tide is too low. He's like, just go a little inch to this way, inch to that way. Oh, just give me the fucking wheel. I've only had 10 drinks. I know. Let's get out of here. I'll drive.

1:13:01Ben Mandelker: You guys are like, I thought this was going to be my big break. My agent said I'd have a really big role on this TV show. Well, I'll drive the boat better. Okay. So they're just driving through it. Going through. It's like scary because there's a lot of like rocks underneath the water that they call the teeth that are going to get a lot of the boats. But Corliss understands the water. The water is in his soul. It's in his veins. And he's pushing through. And after a lot of scary moments, the boat pops out the other side. And he's like, we're clear. And they're like, yay, everything is fine. Nothing could possibly go wrong from this point forward.

1:13:31Ronnie Karam: Yeah, and they're like, let Lohar follow us into the teeth. And she does. She's like, I'm going to get that fucker. I don't care. I've been following this asshole for years. He's probably drunk anyways. Get him. They're like, what are you doing? So she does it. And two of her boats crash on the rocks and stuff. But she keeps going and she makes it through. I mean, Lohar is, say what you will about the lady. She's a good aim. She shot a dragon with one shot. And now she steers through this crazy, trepidatious thing.

1:14:00Ben Mandelker: She's like, nailed it. Well, she does have like, she gets like a little bit snagged. And she realizes, you know what? We just have too many guys on this boat. We need to like be a little bit lighter. So we'll rise up. over the teeth. So she promptly pushes Thailand off the boat because he's wearing heavy armor. And that was an issue because he was like, you should really put on some armor. I'm just saying because we're in a battle. And she's like, I don't need armor. So now she's like, here, now your armor's going to be the death of you. So she pushes him off. Until she realized that she will rue the day she turned her nose up at that armor.

1:14:36Ronnie Karam: Yeah. But also he was just so yappy. She's like, shut up. She's like, oh my God. She just throws him over and starts throwing everybody over. so um reyna meanwhile is riding sheep stealer and she wants to go home but um she sees that there's a battle so she's like you know what fuck it let's do it let's do this we got this

1:14:59Ben Mandelker: the problem is that like sheep stealer is sheep stealer like there's still some communication issues and sheep stealer is like a little goes a little rogue in this battle and that's a that's a problem not not not always the most helpful dragon here yeah um so meanwhile lohar is like

1:15:20Ronnie Karam: okay we got him where we want him let's just run into his ass and board a ship so she just crashes right into his ship jumps on it to try and get him meanwhile reyna and sheep stealers just start burning ships and then she's like well shit those aren't even enemy ships now you're burning our own people so she's screaming and freaking out and this thing is like i don't care i do not give a fuck and it's just flying around burning everything and trying to kill the other

1:15:47Ben Mandelker: dragons too oh my god yeah she's still like i must prove to people i do more than steal sheeps i'm a i'm a real dragon i'm a i'm a big boy and so she's like okay stop it stop it that's my sister by the way that's my sister kind of like your aunt stop that uh and then meanwhile over in the boat battle like the uh so the the like the bitch slip or whatever it's called crashes into the bitch fist bitch fist the bitch slip the bitch fist crashes into the sea snake's boat so then now it's like hand-to-hand combat and um and then you know uh sea snake corliss gets like hit and it's like knocked over and he's like oh and then you know alan's like father um and but then alan sees Lohar.

1:16:29Ben Mandelker: I was like, I'm going to binge. I may be a little bit drunk. I may have fallen off the wagon, but I'm going after Lohar. I'm going to settle this.

1:16:36Ronnie Karam: Yeah, so he falls into the water. He's like, the ship starts tilting, so Corliss is out of there.

1:16:44Ben Mandelker: Oh, and notably, by the way, and notably, as the, before this, even this collision happened, like, or like right before it, as they came out of that pass, that's when Corliss gets a glimpse of high tide burning. and he's like oh my fucking god and he's sort of like out of it it's like in that moment where he's distracted is the moment where this like critical like boat crash happens and he's like

1:17:08Ronnie Karam: not with his wits so uh it's like you finally pay off your mortgage and they get you every time so he falls into the water and alan's like father so now he goes after lohar and they fall into the water to continue their fight. Meanwhile, Jace is chasing after Sheepstealer and he's like, Vermax, kill this dragon rider. But then he sees who it is and he's like, oh no, don't do it, evade him. Dragon scoops under. I mean, see? You've got to train dragons, people. I don't know. I can't say it enough. So then Sheepstealer starts chasing after Vermax now. Sheepstealer's like, alright, let me at him. Sheepstealer is like the dragon version of Lohar.

1:17:54Ben Mandelker: yeah yeah sheep stealer it's just like cheap it's just too soon for cheap still to go into battle and so i think the implication here is that if jace hadn't been distracted trying to um like deal with sheep stealer's antics he would have also been a little bit more focused and uh he is like looking behind at like oh my god that was that's like reina and then vermax gets hit by yet another spear and this time we don't even see who shoots it like obviously like the dragon's flying so sort of like basically that even some it has to well it has to fall it has to fly really low

1:18:28Ronnie Karam: because it's trying to stay the hell you know it's trying to evade this dragon so it's flying really low so they get it like some nameless extra got him this time like that's bad when

1:18:37Ben Mandelker: like someone who's like not even a famous person kills the dragon oh my god the extras kill it in

1:18:42Ronnie Karam: this episode literally like they they do a great job in this episode but i hated this i hate watching dragons die i mean i know they're like weapons of mass destruction blah blah blah we just saw dragons burn like hundreds of people but still they're so cute i hate seeing them well we don't

1:19:01Ben Mandelker: like it because it's like the dragon gets killed because of jace's stupid ego and like i'll say they're kids riding these things and like if the queen were there she would have had like wisdom and she would have avoided the spears and like all this silliness but because you have reina with her new dragon she joins and she should she created chaos you have jace who shouldn't have been there it's just like it's yes appreciate the help but you guys are in way over your heads and now look what's happened there are not a lot of dragons left and you've just killed one i don't blame

1:19:29Ronnie Karam: jace you know i don't blame him too much because he is a dragon like his job is literally to go into war with people but ray ray would never send him out because she already lost one son and so she's like you can't you know so she's over protective of him so it's like he is he is a soldier that is his job i think he did a good job for the most part until stupid sheep stealer fucked everything up and then he had to fly low and get shot again and then the dragon gets it's just so sad you know i didn't like it but i was like no so he gets pulled into the water though we see the dragon just sinking and bleeding into the water everywhere so we know it's screwed so he cuts the rope or he unchains himself or ropes himself or whatever from the dragon from his saddle and we were like oh my god well at least jace made it but now he's gonna be dragonless and that sucks and then he gets speared right in the neck by an extra and then speared again and then

1:20:25Ben Mandelker: speared again the arrows they just take out jace honestly i was like good riddance wasn't jace's

1:20:31Ronnie Karam: dad uh kristin cole or was it the other guy no jace's guys uh no no reina no kristin cole didn't father of the children reina was having an affair with the strong guy strong strong okay that's what okay yeah and she had three didn't she have three kids with him yeah and then he got killed by larry he got killed in his own castle by larrys along with his father and clairs killed them right yeah well i have to tell you honestly i didn't like jace i've not liked him for a while and um

1:21:06Ben Mandelker: I felt like this was his own doing. Sorry. Really? I was crying.

1:21:11Ronnie Karam: I was like, no, Jay. No.

1:21:12Ben Mandelker: Hell no, I'm not going to cry for this twerp. He locked his mom. No, no, no. This is toxic masculinity. He locked his mom in that room. He gets what he deserves. Sorry.

1:21:23Ronnie Karam: Yeah, but don't you even feel bad for Ray Ray? She lost another kid.

1:21:28Ben Mandelker: Well, yes, I do feel bad for her. I feel bad for her, but I don't feel bad for Jace. I'm saying I don't feel bad for Jace. I feel bad for the dragon. I'm mad about the dragon. That's the thing. the dragon died because of this kid and because of reyna and indirectly with that with with sheep sealer they were all like irresponsible kids i'm just like i'm not gonna feel bad for jace

1:21:46Ronnie Karam: sorry bye i did i felt so bad for him so what do you think is gonna happen now to reyna because she's fucked like her sister she just killed she just got her sister's husband killed she's got this dragon she's technically not authorized to have even though she wouldn't really get in trouble for that in this plot but now she's got this dragon that like burned a bunch of their own ships and got the son killed are they going to kill the dragon are they going to kill

1:22:12Ben Mandelker: her what's going to happen i don't know but one thing that we i think maybe accidentally zipped past is the fact that alan uh when he when he fell in the water he went he winds up i got so excited with the other stuff yeah thank you well it was a lot of stuff happening all at once and i want to actually say that this was also exciting because it was like you never know who's going to die on these shows you never know like what dragon's gonna die what person's gonna die what's you just don't know so i was really like on the edge of my seat like is this gonna be corliss's last episode who's gonna go down who's gonna survive um it's very very exciting and so alan winds up going into like melee combat with with um what's her face lohar and there it's like fist to fist hand-to-hand combat it's very intense there's like a knife there's all sorts of stuff and in the end Alan winds up killing Lohar and it's very dramatic and she dies in the water and he winds up triumphant and then Corliss, it doesn't Corliss doesn't appear to be, Corliss is like knocked out but as far as we can tell, he'll be fine.

1:23:16Ben Mandelker: He's already done previews. He'll be fine. So Alan did this tremendous act of heroism on behalf of his father, while drunk too, I'd like to add. and now these dragons are dead and yeah. Alan wasn't drunk? Well I'm saying he drank something so he might have been a little bit Alan didn't drink

1:23:39Ronnie Karam: those did he?

1:23:40Ben Mandelker: He didn't? I thought he took a shot. He did remember because he coughed he was like

1:23:45Ronnie Karam: Oh yeah he took a little sip

1:23:47Ben Mandelker: It probably felt like a lot. You know he might be a lightweight these days. I'm just saying these two guys did a lot while they were

1:23:54Ronnie Karam: god you can't even have a shot before you drive anymore listen to me standing up for the other side i'm like you can't even have one shot and take a maybe i do my best work but i'm drunk yeah um but this is crazy though because we know i mean this story is literally about the end of dragons so we know that they're everyone's gonna die basically yeah right but i don't like it still upset it really upset me i don't i think the only other time on this show we'll know of Of course, there have been other times. I guess this one is just the more recent, so it's the most upsetting. But, yeah, when Rhaenys died.

1:24:31Ronnie Karam: Oh, my God. When that little boy, when Aemon killed the little, when Aemon's dragon killed the little boy. Oh, my God. That was impactful. But, yeah, that was another one where it's like, why are you letting your son? first of all your son is not old enough to be driving and long distances and to deliver messages like about in a war like what the fuck is you know what would probably help would be if damon

1:24:58Ben Mandelker: got involved with any of the central storyline of the show that would probably help is that these

1:25:03Ronnie Karam: kids going around making a mess he will but you know it's it's kind of been nice having damon separated and not just being all bossy you know the whole time like undermining ray ray the whole time but now he's decided he's super into her now because he had all those visions from alice strong so he's like oh yeah i'm a Alaska journey yeah he did and then he touched that wormwood tree or whatever the fuck whatever that tree is and so he saw the visions of the future and he saw everything happening and the tree people and the White Walkers. Who do you think the White Walker is? The main White Walker?

1:25:44I don't know. I don't know.

1:25:48Ben Mandelker: The theory is that it's him, right? Isn't the theory that Damon becomes the White Walker?

1:25:54Ronnie Karam: Yeah, there were some that it was him or that it was Bran going, but it couldn't be ran right ran going back in time i'm thinking of old rumors yeah i'm thinking of like old rumors who it is but once i saw that white walker fuck's face i was like oh wait who is that it's got to be somebody maybe we won't find out until the books are done aren't the books ever going to

1:26:16Ben Mandelker: be done where you at buddy he's yeah he's in new mexico just playing around i how old uh i mean do we do we know how many seasons this show is it is this one of those shows where they said there'll be five seasons or is it sort of open-ended uh next season is its last season there will be four seasons total okay so we're gonna get some stuff happening like that yeah they're gonna cover some ground and this and this book or this whatever this is a complete book right like this is the whatever it was the preamble to fire and ice yeah this is a completed story so we know the full arc

1:26:54Ronnie Karam: I think I'm pretty much off. It's gone off the rails kind of, you know, cause it's a TV show. So it doesn't follow the book exactly. Like I don't like this Ray, Ray Nira and Alison, like being in love or like whatever the hell they've got going. It's like all being like a story about girls and their friendship. It's not really supposedly what the book's about. That's why a lot of the audience got so mad. They're like, what is this shit that you're serving us? But I haven't read the book, so I don't really have anything to compare it to. and I love it. Yeah.

1:27:27Ben Mandelker: I thought it was a great season premiere. I think it may have been their best episode yet. It was just very, very exciting. And I think if this was supposed to be, or not if, apparently it was, of the supposed to be the season finale, I actually think it was better served as a season premiere because I think it was like that exciting jolt we needed to just like get us all excited about the season. Because yes, it could have been an exciting season finale, but then you spend two years and like that excitement doesn't carry. After a certain point, like what what happens so like shoot us out of a cannon to start the season and get us excited to see where this goes i have this is the most excited i've been about this show um in terms of like where starting us off and um i'm really like i generally am like curious what is going to happen next and that's a nice place to be in because i felt like with game of thrones it was always like that and i felt like with house the dragon it's like a little like sometimes sometimes you feel that way and then you get stuck with like a big long languid episode so i'm like i'm very bullish

1:28:26Ronnie Karam: about about the season right now bullish yeah well you know the it was a long two years of blue balls for sure because the last season it's like easy to say well well not easy but you know what i mean like i was thinking the same thing like this was better as the season premiere but man i remember being pissed at the end of last year because how did how did last year old season goes and goes and the hair and hall and the this and the that and the like you're waiting for something huge and then the last season ends with everybody heading towards battle you know you see all of the yeah all of the different armies and factions heading somewhere and you see aegon in the you know the buggy or whatever being carried away and then oh at this one was at the end of season one that we saw auto hightower in the in the that was last season like we see yeah we see Otto Hightower was banished.

1:29:18Ronnie Karam: And is like in a jail cell or in a carriage or something.

1:29:21Ben Mandelker: Like saying, like, he's alive. Don't worry. Next season he'll come back and do something.

1:29:25Ronnie Karam: Yeah, but we saw everybody heading towards battle. And then the credits rolled. And I was like, what the hell? And then they're like, well, just wait. You'll be graduating. Your kids will be graduating from school by the time we put this back out. It was really annoying. But, yeah, it was a great, great beginning. I hope we get to see, like, a badass Ray Ray. not taking any shit and not, you know, getting all upset over anything and just telling everyone to fuck off and winning something.

1:29:54Ben Mandelker: I think we need to see some more of that. And I do think that they've, they've put Damon out in the wilderness for way too long. And it's just, that was the, all that stuff was just so plodding and old and long and just like get him back in the mix. Have him like do something that really seems to impact the story instead of putting him on some sort of like internal journey that they try to justify with these little vignettes after the show ends. Like, well, actually, like, Damon is confronting his demons and things he's always bottled up, and this is his first time really thinking about consequences.

1:30:23Ben Mandelker: I'm like, I really don't care. Like, have him affect the story.

1:30:28Ronnie Karam: Well, he was gone so long, he came back with a tan. Did you notice? It's like, whoa! He is full-on tanned. I'd never thought I would see that in that guy. Yeah.

1:30:43Ben Mandelker: alright okay well fun times yeah fun times and off to a good start for season 3

1:30:52Ronnie Karam: yeah good times everybody thanks for being here we'll talk to you next time bye

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1:31:35Ronnie Karam: It's no BS, we love Hugo ES. Jamie, she has no last name-y. Sips some scotch with Jessica Trotch.

1:31:43Ben Mandelker: She's our favorite streamer, Caroline Peacock.

1:31:46Ronnie Karam: Kristen the Piston Anderson. Que sera, sera, whatever we'll be, we'll Lauren Sillsby. She gets an A from us, it's Lindsay D. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McHenry. Come again? We're obsessed with Margaret O 'Halloran. Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the berg. Gather round for the lore of Michelle Moore.

1:32:10Ben Mandelker: This is Livin' with Michelle Vivian.

1:32:12Ronnie Karam: I love-a-ya, Olivia Williamson. She sure is swell. It's Raquel. Yes, we canna. It's Sadana.

1:32:20Ben Mandelker: Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman. Let's share with Sharon Eldridge. Darn skippy, it's Tippi.

1:32:26Ronnie Karam: And our super premium sponsors. She's VVIP, it's Amanda V.

1:32:31Ben Mandelker: Somebody get us 10 cc's of Betsy MD.

1:32:33Ronnie Karam: We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. Let's get real with Caitlin O 'Neill. Put us on a stretcher. It's Charlotte Fletcher. Hogle your horses. It's Christine Hogle. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily sides.

1:32:49Ben Mandelker: Who, what, why, where, and Gwen Pentland. Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall. We got our wish. It's Jen Plish. Have a kebab with K-Rob. My favorite Murdo, Karen McMurdo. Let's get savage with Laura Wildman. In the study, with a candlestick, it's Leslie Peacock. We're ride or die for Lisa Ryder Barron. She's a whiz, it's Liz Sarthy. Always killing it, it's Lo Alkalani. Roger that, it's Marlis Rogers.

1:33:16Ronnie Karam: The incredible edible Matthews sisters. She eases our woes, it's Melissa St. Rose. She's the lady of the house, it's Rachel Sherouse. There's a chance of meatballs, it's Rebecca Cloud. She's our princess, it's Rebecca Prince.

1:33:30Ben Mandelker: She's the queen bee, it's Sarah Lemke. We cannot tell a lie. It's Sarah Talafson. Shannon out of a can in Anthony. Please don't stop. It's Soli and Pop. Let's take off with Tamla Plain. Strike a pose. It's Tori Rose.

1:33:45Ronnie Karam: She ain't no shrinking Violet Kuchar. We love you guys.

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