#3435 House of the Dragon S03E01: Take a Seat

0:05Ben Mandelker: One, two, three, four.

0:34Well, hello and welcome to Winter is Crappening.

0:39Ben Mandelker: It's our Game of Thrones House of the Dragon podcast here at Watcher Crappens. We are talking today about House of the Dragons Season 3, Episode 2. Welcome back. Welcome back. If you're listening on Watcher Crappens and you actually only care about this kind of coverage, then we have a whole separate podcast feed called winter is crappening where you can just get exclusively house the dragons and game of thrones content so go check that out but it's being also simulcast here on watcher crappens uh welcome one welcome all i'm ben mandelker that's ronnie

1:14Ronnie Karam: carom hi ronnie how's it going good what's going on with you baby oh i'm just enjoying

1:22Ben Mandelker: a second episode in a row of house the dragons that was really really good what's going on with

1:27Ronnie Karam: you oh my god the show is so good so depressing though geez and so stressful oh stressing me out i was crying i was stressing and then you know i have to go watch all the recap videos and stuff after i love it i love it especially while love island is on because that show is like so insipid and this show is so great and smart it's it's a crazy brain switch going from one i don't know

1:56Ben Mandelker: I don't know if I'd say this show is so smart. There's a fine line between Love Island and House of the Dragons. I mean, you've got factions. You've got dragons. You've got fiery demises. You've got twists. You've got turns. So, I don't know. To me, it's just like another episode. It's basically like going to Casa Amor.

2:18Ronnie Karam: Well, we did get some wiener today. We did. In House of the Dragons. That was good.

2:23Ben Mandelker: yeah before the episode began there was a uh a uh you know this is a there was a viewer discretion advised i think it was either on the screen or it just was it was on like the chyron and did say nudity and i was like oh here we go typical game of thrones nudity it's gonna be some more more boobs and it was actually penis so what a delight on this show yeah they do they do give

2:47Ronnie Karam: Give it to us. Remember we saw Eamon's wiener.

2:50Ben Mandelker: Yes, that's correct. And this was like hot wiener, I would have to say. So I was grateful. Grateful that they gave it a little something for us.

3:00Ronnie Karam: Yeah. So here we go. Season three, episode two, The House the Dragons Built. So we open with a gorgeous shot from underwater. The camera's looking up and you see dead bodies floating around. and then you see fireballs and then dragons flying overhead. It's just very beautifully done. And of course, you're like, who's the dead person? You know, like trying to pause and figure out what's the dead. I thought it was Jace. Wait a minute, that's not Jace. Who is it? What is that guy wearing, a boomerang or a big collar?

3:35Ben Mandelker: Just a random extra. They're like, we're going to focus on the extra. The king is over there, or the future king. It's like, oh, that's right, Jace. Yeah, Jace is just floating along. dead um yeah those kids they really are so inept in so many different ways like all the kids all the children on this show just do terrible things at all times if there really is a if there's ever like been a show that has said parents get your kids in order it's this show because every single child has grown up to be a total menace and they just keep on getting themselves into trouble every time one of them dies i'm like you guys brought it on yourself at this point i'm sorry well like

4:16Ronnie Karam: just kids are done you know kids do bad things when i was younger i stole my parents car with my best friend and we went out all night joy riding and um left our muddy boots uh our muddy shoes at the door like an idiot and totally got caught and then my parents made me sleep outside for two nights and wow that was bad but you know what at least you know i didn't get like necked by some fucking arrows you know we had exactly we had it we have it easy in our time you know we still i stole a suburban they're stealing dragons it turns out a little differently unfortunately

4:55Ben Mandelker: yeah yeah well the point is that kids can sometimes be a real disaster and this show is just full of them i mean between jace with this whole thing and then let's not forget at what's her face with the wild dragon, Bela. Bela. That's what I mean, yeah. Bela. Bela.

5:13Ronnie Karam: What a disaster. What a disaster. She comes in just like every kid after fucking up. Like, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. I didn't mean to. Sorry. Yeah. Can I hide here? So we open with this post-war scene. It's depressing. And then we go to Dragonstone. and Jace is being carried because he's brought home. Bela leads him home. Oh, I'm sorry. Did I say Bela earlier? I didn't mean Bela. I meant Reyna.

5:43Ben Mandelker: I said Bela.

5:44Ronnie Karam: Yeah, yeah.

5:44Ben Mandelker: I said Bela. Reyna was the one who stole the thing. That's what I meant. But what I have to say is how do they find Jace's body? There's a sea of generic people who are face down and he's just one of many and yet they can't find Corliss. And he's got like a shock of white hair, big, big, long white dreads. And like, where's that guy? But they can find this generic Jace in the middle of the ocean. Come on. They got to try harder.

6:12Ronnie Karam: That's how they found Corliss because that white hair in the water. I know, but like how did they find Jace first? I don't know. Corliss really made it a long way. He was like far away from everything when they found. He really got drifted out there pretty far. They don't call it Driftmark for nothing. Like, oh, I'm hurt.

6:31Ben Mandelker: He was very like posed He was He was so dramatic

6:36Ronnie Karam: But also how did Bela swoop down And get Jace like that Because those dragons It's like they're so hard to control But also I guess the better trained they are It's like okay swoop down Alright we're just going to sit here for a minute I'm going to tie him up I mean there's little details from the show That I'm curious about You know like how'd they do that

6:56Ben Mandelker: Some Ryan Condal's listening And he's like alright well I guess I'll just call up HBO and ask for 30 million more dollars so we could have a special effect so we could see a dragon picking up Jace out of the ocean and bring him to Dragon Zone to shut these two gay men off on the internet.

7:11Ronnie Karam: Yeah. Someone left us a comment on YouTube, not for this show, but for our regular show, and said, I can't believe these two. I mean, they just sound so gay. Why do they have to talk so gay? Why can't you be gay and not have to talk so gay? I wish they would stop acting so gay. I just commented back You're a literal idiot We are really this gay We can't help it You think we would pretend to be this gay? We're literally this gay lady Okay

7:42Ben Mandelker: Yeah, my gay voice is just off the charts these days When I hear myself on some Just on this podcast or anywhere else I'm like, wow I am just flouncing my way through these shows It's our no before we start the shows Right, Ben? Be gayer today okay it's like there we may have a slight uptick in straight people listening to our podcast today because it's game of thrones so just be as straight as possible so grow yes queen got jace out of the ocean and bring it back to dragon stone like the icon you are

8:17Ronnie Karam: i mean we did open the episode talking about wieners but my point is we are that gay i can't believe commenters are shocked okay so now we're dragonstone jace is being carried in um and bela you know it's leading everybody's carrying him over over their shoulders and stuff it's like a mosh pit it's like he's like crowd surfing but it's like a dead person so it's awkward and of course the first question isn't oh my god who killed the model okay was he killed because he could not stay stop making blue steel face what happened to nobody even asked they're just like the battle and she's like it was one for christ's sake i'm bringing in my husband could you stop asking the score for two seconds blue steel is dead yeah dead so renero comes in

9:04Ben Mandelker: i guess they let her out i also would have liked to have seen that scene of like well i guess you can come out now there was to me that was actually with the moment i was looking forward to the most be like um um miss queen uh so we were thinking can you make us dinner did he come out can you make us dinner uh we're gonna let you out of the house in the other room now so uh can you make us like chicken or something like like what was the scene where sir lauren opened the door was like you come out now so uh she's out unlock the door and run away she'll figure it you know

9:40Ronnie Karam: yeah exactly so she's out yeah and she's not happy and she you know she sees the body and she says what have you done and they're like oh she's about to tell everybody off but she's talking to jace and so she runs over to jace and sobs then i'm crying it was sad but i kind of felt like one

10:01Ben Mandelker: of those movies where there's like a bereft southern lady who's like because i feel like normally the scene is always like what have you done what have you done so the fact that it was sort of like a it was coming from rhaenyra was like a different vibe for me you know like the sort of like melodramatic like talking to the to the corpse as if it's still alive like not accepting death it was very sad but it also it's just was it's just something i feel like i see in like sort of like crazy southern melodramas instead or in my kitchen when the goat cheese is bad and i

10:34Ronnie Karam: didn't know and i was planning to have it that day for my lunch on a salad and i just open it

10:40Ben Mandelker: and smell it and i'm like how could you how could you do this to me are you wet were you in the ocean

10:51Ronnie Karam: so ranira's stuff and she's like beating on his chest um which uh is funny because we do that in modern times to revive people doesn't always work and uh sir laurent of all people tries to pull her away uh sir listen my bald brother i don't think now is the time okay you're about i mean yeah this

11:13Ben Mandelker: is this performative bit like listen you really messed up you locked her in her own room and now you're gonna pull her away from from her son when she's grieving and she's the queen you put your hand on the queen so he tries to do that and she's like how dare you set your hands on me How dare you, Sir Laurent? And he's like, my queen, I have failed you. My life must be forfeit. And what good would that do? Aside from being actually incredibly hilarious for me right now. That actually is probably good. All I need, actually. Okay, let's do it. Okay, actually, here. Will it actually wake my son? No.

11:44Ben Mandelker: Will it change the truth of his folly? And yours? And yours? All of you who knew Joceros had done and stood by, are your lives to not forfeit? Have you not betrayed your queen?

11:58Ronnie Karam: yeah she's like not only did you lock me away my son died i also got really pissed and ruined a perfectly good dress and do you know how hard good beating is defined these days it is hard fuck all of you people they're like well i'm sorry so then um we see alan and he's um looking for lord corliss in the sea and he keeps shouting lord corliss i'm drowned i know Can a man get any rest? I am literally drowned. Stop. Okay? It's up to you. Use your find my. So then we go to Raina. Raina. She's like, Lady Jane. Hi. She lands. You see her ass dragon behind her with his underbite.

12:48Ben Mandelker: Lady Jane's all pissed because she was just in the middle of Pilates class. And she's like, excuse me. I have to leave class early today because there's a dragon on my lawn. So she goes out to meet her and Raina's like,

13:00Ronnie Karam: I've done a terrible thing. And she's really good at face tremble acting. She's always like, yeah. It's like,

13:09Ben Mandelker: she also looks like she's 35 at this point to your point last week about how there's so much time in between the seasons that all these kids are growing up in between.

13:20Ronnie Karam: Well, also it's like the hair color and she's just so stressed. and now dirty she's just like oh i have aged 97 yes and of course lady jane still looks fucking perfect and ironed hair and everything like in a great dress and she's like what the fuck are you doing and she's like help me i did a terrible thing she's like so why'd you come here oh my god the prince is dead and now you're gonna bring all the dragons to kill me you little butthead you're supposed to be babysitting where are the children yeah has anybody even asked where the children are the children are just like chuck e cheese somewhere you know they're in pentos they're on a ship to

14:00Ben Mandelker: pentos she's supposed to be off going off to pentos they booked an entire cruise ship it's like do you know how hard it is to get tickets on those disney cruises and she just like didn't even go and went to play the dragons so the kids are off to pentos to live a new life to get out of danger and reina's now like well um so here's the thing i accidentally burned down um my grandpa's entire fleet and destroyed destroyed everything and then a dragon died because of it and then the error to the throne which is also kind of like my uncle he said too so can i just hang out here for a little bit i swear i won't break anything she's like i don't give a shit what are you doing here

14:42Ronnie Karam: You ran out of my house. Now you're bringing disaster to my doorstep. The queen's going to be hunting you. Get the fuck out of here. And she's like, no one saw that it was me. The only person who knew it was me is dead. And the other one's my sister. She won't rat me out. And she's like, yeah, you're an idiot. Get the fuck off my lawn, okay? You'll be electrocuted. And she's like, do you want a dragon or not? And then that stops her. And she's like, well, she does have a gigantic dragon that I've had this whole time, but I couldn't train. But she couldn't train either. But goddamn, he's still there.

15:17Ronnie Karam: Oh, his teeth are so cute. Why are dragons so cute? Get over here, you little rascal.

15:23Ben Mandelker: I have been trying to see if an oversized Invisalign would work. So, okay, you can stay. So they're like, okay. She basically is like, hang out. I don't want to see you again, but if you want to stay here, I'm just going to look the other way.

15:37Ronnie Karam: Yeah, she's like, if you stay in my backyard, fine. but you're not getting the guest room again. I just cleaned sheets.

15:44Ben Mandelker: So now we see Damon and his army of Tully's, which our note taker kindly reminds me mainly, are not to be confused with the family of Sam Tarly. That was my issue last week. I was confusing Tully with Tarly and actually Frey as well. I confused everyone last week and I apologize once again. I'm sorry that my Game of Thrones cred is in the shitter right now, but just call me Reyna. Just come in, destroy everything. It's by my best intentions. but anyway uh so damon's out there and uh they're all the five you know they're just all happy they're doing one of those things one of my least favorite things in in these sort of shows is like they're having a they're having a good time and so they're like they're singing songs

16:26Ronnie Karam: my least favorite thing is when they're having a good time but i know what you mean because all of these have this scene and they're usually like in a tavern and they're swinging their beer they're

16:36Ben Mandelker: swinging their beer like and forth yeah it's like oh no no and i went on the high seas and saw a kraken and he saw a kraken live to tell the tale and i said do the kraken won't you have some air with me and he gave some ale to the kraken on the sea and you're just like oh my god just stop it's all feels like a ensemble scene in a school musical yeah and they're always like a ripoff

17:03Ronnie Karam: of the same song it's like da da da da da da da hurrah hurrah or what is i always 99 bottles of beer on the wall i saw a dragon he was flying high then he kicked the person's ass and that guy was a guy yeah it's like wait a minute is this song just not copywritten because it's on

17:23Ben Mandelker: every one of these shows can we just like get a songwriter in this like just just to change up i mean ed shuren made an appearance in the original game of thrones and even he was singing these types of songs he couldn't even figure it out then i'm just so sick of the the are they like shanties is that what it is but it always it always comes off it's always the thing is this it's not just that they sing it they always sing it in this like overly like like stage production way where their their arms are like going left and right like hi-ho hi-ho you know and it just always laughing

18:01Ben Mandelker: it's just so school musical, you know? And I just, it's so funny that you have this prestigious production with money poured into it. And they've got all these somber scenes and you got like acclaimed actors like Matt Smith, et cetera. And they're like, okay, you guys are going to have a good time. Like, okay, let's do our most basic acting. Like Hardy, hard. Oh, we are happy people now. Is this how happy people are? This, this is how they act in this world.

18:27Ronnie Karam: Yeah. Well, you know, yeah. i guess so because every show has it every show every fantasy show this is how happiness looks it's time for a commercial it's time for a crap it's commercial

18:44Ronnie Karam: yeah so here's a sir simon strong hottie so he goes to damon he's like sir sir simon strong your Grace, I remind you of the old times when the Riverlands were ascendant. Music and meat, virile young men, all happy times. We haven't learned to keep more teeth in our mouth since then, but still. It's good. At least we're singing the same songs. You know, it's nice to not have a new song on the radio ever.

19:13Ben Mandelker: Isn't it? I love that sweet Simon Strong. He's kind of like the Bruce Valanche of Middle Earth, you know? Not Middle Earth. Oh, God forbid. Westeros. I feel like you could find him sitting on a stool being like, oh, I remember the good old days back then we used to sing Sondheim until 2am I feel like he just has tales of Broadway and closeted men he once knew so Damon is

19:44Ronnie Karam: I'm also surprised Strong's even out because normally we just see him literally eating at that dinner table all the time and I'm always wondering where do you get your food and what is it? Because it seems delicious. He just loves it. Usually every scene of him, he's like being interrupted eating something.

20:01Ben Mandelker: Well, isn't the witch his chef? So she probably just literally concocts it with a spell.

20:08Ronnie Karam: Oh. Right? It's just magic. She's like the medieval microwave. She's like, look. I did this in two minutes. Wait a minute. We don't even have noodles yet. She's like, I'm a witch, so.

20:22Ben Mandelker: Enjoy Fantasy great Great Westeros baking show It's like today You will be making a tower of profiteroles Oh you're already done Well you know I'm a witch

20:35Ronnie Karam: So Simon's like I bring gifts In token of your victories And the finest wine And by the way a note from the queen your son's dead Okay I'll just be over here Go ahead

20:47Ben Mandelker: I'll just be over here being just the lovable queen of the lands if you know what i mean i'm sure nothing terrible will happen to me in the next 45 to 50 minutes on this television show um so he reads the letter damon reads it and uh then lord oscar tolly is like yo grace is there something amiss i'm and he's like i have to go the crown prince is dead i'm summoned to the king's the new now to king's landing to claim the arm thrown for our queen he's basically like i gotta leave i'm going back

21:19Ronnie Karam: and he's like my time here is dead and now we're gonna go fight for ray ray okay let's do it

21:25Ben Mandelker: i don't have to be in this storyline anymore i could be back as part of the real show

21:30Ronnie Karam: bye everyone yeah to king's landing fucking finally i'm not gonna have a hallucination today motherfuckers so they're like oh king's landing bah ha ha king's landing bottles of beer on the wall king planning so then we go to alice and daemon and they're standing by the river and this was the best scene because it's araxes just drinking water oh my god it was so cute

21:58Ben Mandelker: that was that was nice see i like elements like that like how do the do the dragons ever get thirsty they do and this they drink water just like that so alice like i've seen that your coming has been an omen of the end he's like yes he's like the end of what many things and the beginning of others could you just speak in normal sentences for one sake no kidding dr seuss just spit it out

22:21Ronnie Karam: okay this isn't poetry slam not everything is a performance just fucking say one thing alice just get it just spit it out shell silverstein so the best thing alice ever did was when she came out was like i'm a witch okay thank you and finally it's like i would like to thank you for

22:41Ben Mandelker: your help thank you for making me hallucinate for days on end only to learn that i'm just gonna die by a tree somewhere but i'm not sure what your purpose has been says the audience and alice is like well i've done i've done the queen of service i put 40 000 rivermen at her call tell her i want harren hall the most beautiful piece of real estate in all the land i've lived here my long life long life i mean hundreds of years my skincare is quite frankly amazing and i've seen it given from hand to hand and yet none seem to cherish it why should it not come to me okay you

23:19Ronnie Karam: need to ask for things before you do the thing for the other person you know what i mean like you can't save the person's life give them everything they want and then demand a price that's just not how it works okay it's not how it works now and i'm sure it did not work like that back then and daren's like lady have you lost your fucking mind who are you like you don't have a name you don't have a title you don't have a husband that's very important okay and we don't just give ass castles to midwives i was like oh snap you know what she's gonna get some revenge on your ass and i'm gonna

23:52Ben Mandelker: laugh i know i'm like you are a loser you should never have done that you give her a castle at the Or at least give her the castle and take it back or whatever. But like, who wants her?

24:02Ronnie Karam: Oh, anyway. I mean, I get that it's like the center of everything and supposedly the strongest castle. That shit was burned years ago by the same fucker who burns it today. Vhagar.

24:13Ben Mandelker: Well, it does have like a really good martini piano bar with show tunes late at night. Thanks, Simon Strong.

24:18Ronnie Karam: Yeah, thank you, Simon. He's like, oh, it was my idea. It was my late wife's. Huh?

24:26Ben Mandelker: Wink, wink. No, but for real, though, just tell her you'll give her the castle. I mean, since when are you above lying, at the very least? But also, she kind of deserves it. I think I would give it to her. I think that Rhaenyra would have given it to her. But, Damon, this is his thing. He's a dick. And you're right.

24:44Ronnie Karam: He's going to be a dick. And why not just say, I'll talk to her? Why you got to be like, oh, you're a woman. You don't even have a husband. Yeah. You'll never amount to anything. I mean, what a fucking idiot. This woman just did you a lot. sir yeah a lot i'm don't at least fake it and be like you know we'll call you but no he's like you're a girl girls are gross and she's like oh wow so a midwife is this um that's you you think i'm just a midwife and he's like all right well i'll talk to her perhaps there's like some other reward she may extend your way she's like another reward you go home demon and don't come back here and remember what I told you.

25:25Ronnie Karam: There are beginnings to things and endings of things that begin when endings begin of

25:31Ben Mandelker: things. This is going to mess up everything. I just want to say this right now. Just when the entire plan is going to fall into place, this is going to fuck everything up. Because by the end of the episode, she's now crossed paths with Eamon. She's going to now become allied with Eamon. She's going to help him out. I'm already so mad. This is such a small scene, but I feel like this is going to impact every single thing in this show.

25:57Ronnie Karam: Well, small resentments. Tiny resentments built up into wars. Okay?

26:02Ben Mandelker: Well, guess what? Guess what? Alan's still looking for Coralus. Lord Coralus! And Bela and Moondancer are also around. And Bela's like, many before have left my grandson for dead, and they were all mistaken. We will find him. So then he pops a cork off a bottle and takes a drink. I wonder if was that the...

26:23Ronnie Karam: He's like, I'm a drunk now because I drank once with Pat and I'm very depressed.

26:27Ben Mandelker: I was going to ask if it was the same bottle.

26:32Ronnie Karam: Everything's destroyed, but he got a bottle of booze off. I mean, that's pretty rich for somebody who didn't drink five minutes ago. But she has the... He's clearly distraught. And so she has a conversation with him. She's like, oh, listen, I know that my grandpa, you know, just had you with somebody else and pretended you didn't exist. But he's like a good guy beneath it all. Like he's pretty. I mean, you know, he's a jerk, but he's also fine. So forgive him. We're family. And then it becomes this really nice family scene because Alan finds Corliss on his or he's riding his dragon and he finds Corliss.

27:10Ronnie Karam: He's like, oh, it's me. I've somehow landed kind of on a rock. so they all come back together as a little family right so then we go to aegon and laris so they're

27:22Ben Mandelker: still in their carriage now they're being transported uh to uh i guess the queen or something because they were they had that whole issue last week they're going to get killed yeah exactly so so hot laris now he's like well you seem to be in less pain which is probably because you as an actor said do how much longer do i have to pretend to be in pain on this tv show it's really annoying for me to play this and so agon's like no i'm not i'm not i'm not he's like well you no longer ask for milk of the puppy and he's like that's because i'm not fucking speaking to you i'm mad and larry's like that's right you're still furious that i saved your life and exposition that they're doing it goes like you betrayed my identity to our captors he's like well who you needlessly antagonize don't forget america he's like listen i didn't write you out i was

28:14Ronnie Karam: just trying to keep us alive. This is a Game of Thrones show. Something's going to happen, and we're going to be able to escape. Just at least you didn't lose your head and stop screaming at people with swords in their hands. You dumbass. And so, sure enough, people attack the carriage and just open the door. And they're like, oh, hey, oh, Jesus, look who's in there. God, did he get hot? Hey, anyone! Where is Lyrus getting his work done? He's suddenly a hottie. And then whoever opens the door just gets shot down. And then Aegon comes out and grabs the arrow right from him, which, by the way, is hilarious because there's also a sword on the ground.

28:52Ronnie Karam: But he's like, give me that arrow. I'm going to kill people. He's like stabbing people with the arrow. There's a sword right there.

28:59Ben Mandelker: I know. So there's all sorts of fighting. And Larys is like, that peacock, Tylan Lannister, has actually convinced the Triarchy to come into it against Rhaenyra. Though it doesn't seem to have gone very well. It seems our journey to Dragonstone would be somewhat delayed. It's actually so funny because when I watched the scene, I just thought it was a standard scene of like some stuff happening. But when you read back the dialogue, it's so basic. Well, it seems like Tylan Lannister told the Triarchy to come after us right when we were going to Rhaenyra. But now we will change course and we will do something else.

29:34Ronnie Karam: Well, I need it. That's for sure. That's for people like me. It's like, here is what is happening, Ronnie. Are you paying attention? I'm like scrolling through Reddit. I'm like, yes, I'm here. What do you say? Yeah, I'm definitely here. Thailand? Yeah, I'm on it. So they escape again. But he's like, Aegon's like, we're going to Rook's Rest, goddammit. And he's like, no, we would be wise to avoid our place. We could be captured again. He's like, oh, really? Well, Cole has a garrison, so we're going to Cole. He's the hottest person on the show, and I hear he's in a needlepoint. So we're going over.

30:09Ronnie Karam: He is in his craft era. We're going to Cole. And both of them just leave the horse and the buggy thing behind. I mean, I know it was your prison, but it's still faster than walking. Get the fuck in there. What are you doing?

30:22Ben Mandelker: Didn't make any sense. Laris is like, fine, we will go to Cole, but only if we can convince him to give up that ridiculous Caesar haircut. I can do it. I'm the king. So now we go to now the whole family. Now the family's on the beach. This is Alan. Adidam is there as well. Bela, Corliss, they're standing. We see that high tide is just like smoky and it's destroyed and done. And Corliss is like, if this be victory, I hope I never see another. Alan, I have nothing to give you now but my name. And Alan's like, and yet I count that of more worth than a mountain of gold. and adam's looking at him like what the fuck is wrong with you we want some gold too hey listen

31:11Ronnie Karam: you're you're getting more than just the name you finally get to grow out your hair and that is a huge thing for a bald man who's like bald by choice when they don't have to be bald you know like he's been doing he's been bald to like hide his identity and he's gonna get to grow his hair for the first time and as someone who doesn't grow hair anymore i just find it beautiful you know it Fuck the name. You got a hair. You get hair. You got hair. You won the whole thing. Just roll the credits.

31:40Ben Mandelker: Yeah. Corlys, I think, really wants the hair to grow in because, you know, he still like pays Adam dust. He like looks over. He's like he looks at Alan. He's like, you get to carry on my name. And then he looks to Adam like, I don't know who you are. He still won't even address Adam. And I wonder if it's because Adam does not have like the white hair of Targaryen blood. blood right did we know that i forget the lore on adam with i think because he just fought with um

32:06Ronnie Karam: adam you know and it wasn't like he kind of saved his life but then again wasn't that the whole thing though that he always ignores adam yeah but i mean then the other son saved his life too because he was like on a rock so yeah i don't know but hey he gets enough he's already got a dragon

32:22Ben Mandelker: yeah he does have a dragon but what's the i forget the lore on adam is is he not corliss's actual blood child because he he has black hair right yeah is it like is it like this is first so do rainier's kids i think that's because mother at these brothers but is it that is it that was there a wife before rainies and like did she cheat on corliss and is that why corliss doesn't like adam because the wife clearly had don't ask me things because i

33:00Ronnie Karam: don't know i'm not prepared for that i'm just going on here i think that he yeah i hate when you ask me questions about this because i do not know because you said you just watched the whole thing and i'm like i thought maybe this was it jesus christ it doesn't give you all of that um but i'm in the audience tell us he i think that these were bastard children you know which i would never use that word today but in the show lore i think they're

33:24Ben Mandelker: bastard children and but he seems to be particularly gruff about adam like the thing is this is i don't know you know what you're right i'll just wait and see what happens on the hair front let's see if he grows out his hair and it's it's if it's blonde or not it is blonde because they show him shaving

33:41Ronnie Karam: his his blonde hair oh right that's why he's bald they show him purposely shaving it and then his brother's like you don't have to shave it you should grow out your hair and he's like no i cannot i could never i could never do it until i'm an alcoholic so then um we go back to the red keep the link king's landing and alicent is uh standing there watching vegar fly away because she's just talked her son after he forced a make out sesh on her to go to harren hall so finally her plan has worked vegar is flying away and she wastes no time i mean you can still see the wings on the horizon she's like all right let's get this done yeah allison plan let's move it we're giving everything to a ranera okay everybody get on board i'm going to take my best pearls and wear my oscars gown to try to escape okay she's like i'm going into the locker room this is like when

34:35Ben Mandelker: cameron diaz did her walkthrough in any given sunday so if some people are naked that's okay everyone step down and by the way I also want to point out I looked it up Adam's hair is black because he inherited the dark hair genetics of his mother Marilda of Hull so we knew that we knew that we knew about Marilda and while he possesses valyrian blood valyrian silver hair is not always a guaranteed trait especially when mixed with the dominant dark hair genes of non-valyrian parent so So it just didn't work out with the silver hair for him. It's just the genetic lottery just failed.

35:18Ronnie Karam: There you go. So this is where she goes, yeah, into the locker room, and we see lots of wieners. And she wants to speak with Commander Largent, who is very cute. And they've got some chemistry. and um she's like listen sorry for intruding on the gold cox cloaks god i feel like i feel like trump at a beauty pageant i shouldn't be here but i really needed to talk to you um we're just gonna give everything to ray ray okay so just tell uh everybody to stand down because rainier is coming okay great talk the queen said it's like the queen said but that isn't that kind of like

36:01Ben Mandelker: like a smack of treason to it she's like well some would say that would you say that i'm the queen now basically so get to it so now damon and well her daughter's the queen so she's like i know she's like she's a queen she's like i'm i'm i'm like i'm a queen not the queen which is what she says later so then uh damon and lord crack he's like tell me about it it's the bed i'm with you girl so damon and craxi's arrive at dragon stone and uh he ulf and hugh are there so ulf is like the rogue prince himself and damon's like lucky lucky

36:41Ronnie Karam: He walks in fucking early locks. Ain't it good to see you? Damon's just like, smacks him across the face. Get out of here.

36:52Ben Mandelker: Man, Orphus needed that. I know. Damon's like, the queen wished you to attack or pursue Vega, or am I mistaken? And he was like, Eamond didn't come. And you waited two days only before resigning your mission. And Orphus is like, but Adam left too. He's like, Yes, we thought there might be some misunderstanding.

37:14Ronnie Karam: Yeah, he's like, yeah, you don't get to pick the time. And two days in our time is nothing. Okay? Jesus Christ, it takes five to get a damn message back and forth. If you're given a post, stay at the post. And he's like, there's something in those woods, though. I'm telling you. We're all kinds of sounds. Voices and stuff. He's like, shut up. Snacks him. He's like, Jesus Christ, you all suck. Okay? You're terrible at this. I can't believe that people we just picked out of Poredom and threw on dragons don't know how to do this. You should be ashamed of yourself.

37:44Ben Mandelker: You don't understand. A lady showed up with a tower of profiterals and said this was her showstopper. And we said, what are you talking about? And then she disappeared. Okay, enough. You have erred, all three of you, and your error will cost us dearly. I left a garrison there and a household.

38:02Ronnie Karam: So he's like, where's the other guy? And they're like, oh, he went to save his dad. So he's gone with the Lady Bela Back to the gullet So then Damon is like I'm out of here And he's like Should we go back to Heron Hall Or Damon gives them no orders So It's not going to end well for these guys And poor Hugh Because Hugh seems to have it together But Ulf Manol's going to do something stupid Ulf is going to Do something really stupid with that dragon He really will

38:30Ben Mandelker: Everyone's going to do something stupid That's what's so stressful for me about this show Is how like the path forward always seems simple, but you know, idiocy always ruins everything. So now Damon goes to see Ray Ray, and Mazzaria, of course, is standing outside the door, and she's like, she has not wished to be seen since Jace. He's like, oh, whatever. And meanwhile, the smith and the sot allow Aemon One-Eye to fly through their fingers. And she's like, she is in grief. Do you question her methods?

39:02Ronnie Karam: It's like, I question their methods, and your methods. I left you here a prisoner. She's like, ha ha, well, I'm very tricky. So you knew that. It's like, how did you wriggle your way towards a crown like an eel? And she's like, whatever. I have the Queen's Trust. You don't. Abandon her, okay, who probably was cheating someplace with somebody. Don't forget we met in Whorehouse. Okay.

39:28Ben Mandelker: Yeah. Lecture me. We could probably have a throuple if you really think about it. Just think about it. Putting it out there. So he's like, what is between us? There's nothing of your concern. What game are you playing, Retribution for Insults? Real or imagined? Do you call yourself here in order to strike at me? She's like, oh, God. It's like, not everything is about you, Damon. Aemond is uncounted for then, huh?

39:51Ronnie Karam: Yeah, it's like, not everything's about you, fucker. So you didn't do your one job of getting Aemond. Oh, okay. I'll sit here and feel guilty about something. So they sit together because they both, like, one-upped each other. and so uh damon's like but seriously though is she crazy has she lost her mind yes or no because she's been through a lot and um she's like no i've i'm serving her you know and he says well uh she staked a lot on the word of allison she's says well i wasn't there for that conversation about what are you gonna do they were best friends she trusts her so fingers crossed

40:26Ben Mandelker: yeah but daemon does not trust her either so uh then uh maester garrardy walks in garrardy and he's like begging your pardon my prince it seems that vega has been cited leaving king's landing flying in the direction of the riverlands i would inform the queen but you know cuckoo for crazy puffs so then daemon's like okay fine so over at king's landing alicent is now you know going through the Red Keep. And Sir Rickard Thorne is like, oh, Grace, the atmosphere is fraught. I think it's best you do not stray again for my charge.

41:02Ronnie Karam: So this is her babysitter guy. So now Daemon's like, oh, okay, so Alicent, I guess, was telling the truth because Vhagar is gone. Let's go get him. And meanwhile, Alicent's babysitter is like, stay by me. You are a woman. And she's like, yeah, I need to speak with Sir Thorne. And he's like, oh, I could message him she's like yeah just make sure the small council chamber is secure okay i'm gonna call a meeting he's like you're calling a meeting you're a woman she's like shut the fuck up you old bastard get everybody together okay it's gonna be a 12-step meeting honestly it's just we just need

41:37Ben Mandelker: to go through some things so then uh over dragon stone daemon like he checks in on rhaenyra she's been sleeping in bed and because she's mourning and he's kind of like hey i know it's bad timing but i think we can get that thrown now so yeah so basically she tells him about this battle and she says there was another dragon sheep stealer that bayless has the dragon's name was sheep stealer and daemon's like a wild dragon but he had a rider that's impossible a wild dragon cannot ever be

42:14Ronnie Karam: tamed and she's like yeah yeah well someone attacked moon dancer and and uh killed jace so who was that then and he is he's like all right let's go get him he's like but first we have more pressing business and she's like no and he's like vegar's left king's landing so let's go to it and she's like is it even worth it like you know both my sons are dead for me to sit on this throne you know like but would you have them die in vain and she's like decent point speak to me in valerian so he does and he's like listen i was tripping balls with a witch and i don't even know how old she is but the woman can make donut holes but there are no donuts how does that even happen okay and i saw some shit okay uh and i saw the song of ice and fire that you talked about turns out it's true i saw it i saw this lady in a desert with three dragons so this is more than us it's the zombies think of the zombies she's like oh god all right oh god congratulations you did ayahuasca

43:23Ben Mandelker: like every other middle-aged guy looking for spiritual enlightenment i want to go back to

43:26Ronnie Karam: sleep he's like no no no like as long as we don't call that therapy again it's like no no listen i

43:34Ben Mandelker: would like to set a boundary and my boundary is around king's landing specifically come on if it were true what would you do so now we go back to king's land and allison's in her room and lord jasper appears i don't think we saw him at all last week he just sort of arrives i was like i was like this guy looks familiar i know he's on the small council i don't remember how i felt about

43:56Ronnie Karam: him but he comes in and he's real huffy oh this fucking guy this come this guy comes in so rapey he's got rape all over him oh he's so disgusting i fucking hate this guy so he comes in he's like oh look at you what an industrious little creature you are hither and thither so much to do oh i've been told you're gonna leave the castle oh but before you do i've also been told that you're banging christin so i'm gonna get a little piece of that and then tries to rape the the queen

44:26Ben Mandelker: what the hell it's very george costanza in pretty woman you know and uh also by the way you can never say the phrase hither and thither without being a total creep anyone who ever says hither and thither is always up to the terrible things you oh miss kristen banger hither and thither

44:44Ronnie Karam: also i'm kind of sick of them doing shit like this to allison for christ's sake Like, Alicent is constantly, like, leave her alone. Jesus.

44:55Ben Mandelker: I feel like every scene where she's in that room, like, something bad happens to her. So he.

45:00Ronnie Karam: They're all about sexual humiliation for the character of Alicent. I say justice for Alicent. Jesus. Yeah.

45:07Ben Mandelker: I feel bad for Alicent at this point. Like, she made some mistakes along the way. And, but I think it's like, she's trying to do better. so he's he's basically he basically grabs her he has her like pinned down he's like gonna make it look like he's like arresting her almost but then he's like pulling down her her pants and then thank god Orwell walked in we love Orwell he's the what's it called the maester and so he comes in and he's like I ordered this man under arrest and you know he saves the day thank god

45:41Ronnie Karam: I don't know how he did it but he did it And he's like, but wait, this woman is committing treason. Put her in jail. And he's like, bullshit. I just saw you try to rape her. So put him in jail. So they.

45:54Ben Mandelker: He's like, you think I give a fuck about committing her committing treason when Eamon just put like a sword against my neck last episode and tried to kill me? You think I'm going to give one shit about someone being disloyal to that one eyed fucker? No way.

46:07Ronnie Karam: Orwell has had the best couple of weeks. That's for sure. Jesus. This guy can't. No way. Yeah. Yeah. her own sworn protectors cautioned me. Oh, what a shocker. That fucking babysitter, traitor, asshole, ran right and tattletaled. So, uh, tattletaled about treason. I mean, so then, um, they take him away and he's like, I'm the master of the laws.

46:36Ben Mandelker: congratulations. Commercials. Here comes one right now. so over in uh dragonstone uh lord bartimus certiga maestrog gerardus and rain here and and the and daemon they're all getting ready um so rainier is gonna she's gonna go to lord she's gonna go to king's landing now this is gonna be the big moment and they're gonna seize it everything's open nothing could go wrong and this is where my anxiety started to rise i was like it's never this easy easy on game of thrones one doesn't just like fly into king's landing and take the throne so something's gonna go terribly awry and i was just trying to at this point now my radar is like my my antennas are up and i'm trying to see where the cat uh catastrophe is gonna be

47:21Ronnie Karam: yes and of course the balls on these guys she's like all right i'm flying to king's landing turn but no you can't you're a woman you're crazy you know and uh damon's like uh she's the queen shut the up i just wanted damon walking around slapping everybody in this episode you know he does a good

47:39Ben Mandelker: Why does she have such a shitty, shitty council at all? But it's like two years now in a row. They just are always like, but you can't. You're a woman. What are you doing? Like at some point, she's going to have to clear house because they've been terrible.

47:51Ronnie Karam: They also cut off some heads. And so she's like, nope, I'm flying with my husband and both my new dragons as well. So bye. And they're like, but you can't enter the castle on your own. What are you doing? You won't even have the Valyrian host to defend you. And Damon's like, she has me, and I'm impossibly blonde. Let's go! They get on the dragons. Yeah, they're like, it's a trap. She's like, I don't even care at this point. Bye. So she gets on the dragon, and they pass Miseria, and she's like, You will need this, I think. I hope you will send for me. Remember which one of us has been faithful.

48:38Ronnie Karam: Damon, you stupid cheater.

48:41Ben Mandelker: She gives the crown. She's like, good, now I can catch up on Love Island. She's like, here are your Canasta cards.

48:50Ronnie Karam: Don't forget who's on your side.

48:52Ben Mandelker: Here's your AAA card in case there's a breakdown on the way. So they get on the dragons, and Damon's like, much has changed since I was away. You've taken a new advisor. And she's like, she's done much for me. Much. Little French fries, if you know what I mean.

49:11Ronnie Karam: She's like, oh, please, I don't need your approval. He's like, mm-hmm. Got a little... Shut up, demon. Get on the fucking dragons. All right.

49:22Ben Mandelker: So they head off on their road trip, flying over the oceans, heading to King's Landing. And now we're in King's Landing, and Helena, of course, is picking flowers, because what else do you do when you're Helena? She's picking flowers and being goofy. I know.

49:35Ronnie Karam: I love Helena.

49:35Ben Mandelker: She's fun.

49:36Ronnie Karam: She's picking a flower and she sees a caterpillar and she's like, well, that's strange. It's not the season.

49:44Ronnie Karam: Caterpillar's like, don't tell me when it's not my season. Yeah, but Helena's psychic. So I'm always like, what does that mean? It's not the season.

49:50Ben Mandelker: Caterpillar. Well, does that mean it's a sign of spring? And like if winter is coming, we're in spring?

49:57Ronnie Karam: Oh, that's true. Well, spring. But winter is before spring. No, but meaning like this is in the calendar.

50:05Ben Mandelker: We're still at the spring of our timeline. We still have to go through summer and fall or it's just a caterpillar.

50:11Ronnie Karam: Or change changes coming early. Cause you know, caterpillars turn into butterflies and then she's writing in a book or she's got like her diary there or something. And it's a picture of a butterfly.

50:22Ben Mandelker: I just want the caterpillar to look at her and say, so I'm out of season. So what is there ever a season to be fabulous? suddenly it's not caterpillar season anymore i thought it was hot caterpillar summer in here

50:39Ronnie Karam: so allison's like ray ray's coming so we need to go and she's like will there be a battle you're the fucking psychic what do you want from me ask the caterpillar and she's like listen we're gonna allow her to come and then we're gonna leave and she's like wait you've spoken to ray ray And she's like, yes, and my stupid babysitter betrayed me about it, so let's move our asses, okay? And she's like, but everyone's going to think you crazy. And she's like, well, they have to listen to you because you're the queen. So let's go.

51:08Ben Mandelker: You're the crazier one of the two of us, okay? Let's get it going, Jeff Daniels. So Helena's like, but you, but, but, but, but, but. And he says, okay, look, I could no longer say what's going on. But Helena, you told me not many days ago that you were happier before you were queen. Words that pierced me like a spear. And I think now not of what you may deserve, but might make you happy. You I may yet redeem. Don't you just want to do something nice? And she's like, I think I'd like some chickens. See, think about the chickens. If I had known, I just would have led with the chickens.

51:42Ronnie Karam: She's like, oh my God, I want some chickens. That's all I want. Well, here's what you guys are going to do. put on your nicest clothes to blend in with the poor people what are they wearing you guys could you maybe i mean you've thought this out steal some steal some maids clothes what are you doing

51:59Ben Mandelker: they've they've literally been able to make everything in this in king's landing they're like the most modern anti-dragon warfare magic potions everything that you could dream of the one thing they can't do is a wig it's like we get a wig or some hair dye up in here i mean and just

52:17Ronnie Karam: her gown she's wearing that beautiful blue like gown and beautiful flowing robe over it like we see you okay i don't think the color blue even exists for anybody else in that town come on

52:30Ben Mandelker: yeah so they uh then then they're walking up they go to some guards and uh basically the guards are like getting ready to like shoot down some dragons should they come which they are so alison's like You are to stand down your station, Sir Frederick with a Y. With a Y. Who spells Frederick with a Y? Am I right? Anyway, this is at the command of Queen Helena.

52:54Ronnie Karam: And he's like, oh, I don't know about that. I was told to keep on dragon duty. She's like, listen to me, you fucker. Your orders are rescinded. And he's like, but. She goes, um, your queen is your authority now. And Helena just goes, yes. And I will not have any beast harmed. And she's like laughing. And they're like, oh, okay, okay, got it. Damn it, damn it, Helena and her veganism.

53:22Ben Mandelker: Now listen, Rhaenyra Targaryen approaches Sir Frederick without an eye. She comes with Prince Daemon and more besides. The king has abdicated. The prince regent himself has fled the city. Will you fight and be burned and king's landing along with you? Or will you suffer her to enter and hope for peace? He's like, well, I guess, I guess peace.

53:44Ronnie Karam: And Helena's like, her sons were always kind. Remember? I love Helena. Please do not hurt Helena. Whatever happens, kill everybody else. I literally don't care. I just want to see Helena be okay. So then we go to Gwaine and Kristen seeing the dragonfly of her head. They see Vhagar. So they're like, so there it all. Woohoo! Kristen's like blowing off his painting of his shield.

54:11Ben Mandelker: He's like, just in time. It's ready. They're all excited to go to Harrenhal as if they're going to go there and do some massive battle. But the dragon then goes to Harrenhal and just destroys every single person we saw earlier this episode. Everyone who was singing that stupid song, they're dead now. So Vhagar burns everyone down and then lands on Harrenhal. I'm like, did you want to make this your new home? Because your dragon's destroying half of it just by sitting there. The dragon lands, knocks over five walls, then starts burning everyone up inside. I mean, thank God this place is up to fire code because you would think it would be up all in flames.

54:48Ben Mandelker: But luckily, it's made of stone and everything is. The structure still stands.

54:53Ronnie Karam: I mean, God, can Harrenhal take any more? Jesus, this poor place. I mean, just the real estate alone. I was like, come on. Is there any other way to do this? Harrenhal has been through so much. You've had all these people trying to restore it. You've had Alice trying to fight for it back. and then fucking Eamon just comes in there and that damn dragon burns everybody that we've been watching for like three seasons. Like, we're all gonna come together there and all and immediately fucking Vhagar's just like, you're all dead. Oh, and by the way, now I'm also gonna do some structural damage and knock down combos with my head.

55:25It's like spending two years

55:29Ben Mandelker: closing a deal to buy a house and then when you show up, you drive your U-Haul right into the garage. Like into the small living room. It's like, this could be a little delicate.

55:37Ronnie Karam: like someone's husband like oh we're just gonna make this a big that is a load-bearing column you can't just knock out the wall whole thing starts falling in vagar seriously vagar

55:49Ben Mandelker: has done this twice to the same house this fucker vagar's a nuisance and the truth is that vagar i will never forget this vagar belongs to reyna let's never forget belongs to reyna not eamond that's probably why reyna was able to get sheepsealer because reyna has like big dragon energy that like so she was like owed a big dragon so anyway um he aemon gets off the dragon and then goes walking into the dining hall where sir simon's just sitting there with his sons

56:17Ronnie Karam: as usual they're like oh just your house is just about to begin before we go any further i love his outfit it's so good amen it's like black matte armor i mean it's so good we were talking about batman earlier in something oh and below deck this kind of is batman game of thrones

56:39Ben Mandelker: this outfit was great i loved it very slick so he goes in and so sir simon's sitting there and amon is like draw your sword and simon's like your grace i have no sword if you look at me i'm the dom de louise of westeros do i really look like i'm gonna be a threat to you right now he's like then get a sword i don't care so strong is like can i finish a fucking meal in this place

57:04Ronnie Karam: like literally i'm sitting down to eat again this is exactly what damon did i just want to finish a meal and he's like no you will not finish you come fight me like a man i guess because he didn't want to just kill somebody who wasn't armed but it's not like there's witnesses anyway because you're going to kill everybody so he tries to talk him he's like tries to sweet talk him and he's like well i don't know i don't oppose you i've not wielded a blade one thing i do wield it's a trouble clef do you have any songs that you'd like to sing

57:38Ben Mandelker: are you familiar with falsettos and so he's like look there's nothing he's like the army has decamped there's nothing to stop you and then aemon just stabs him which of course we knew who Eamon was going to do. I was like, you can't kill Sir Simon. He was a sweetheart. No, you asshole.

57:56Ronnie Karam: Sir Simon. It was a, it was a bummer, but he shouldn't have come close and touched Eamon either. Cause when he put his hand on Eamon's shoulder, I was like, Oh no. And then sure enough, personal space and guts him. Lay hands on someone. You can't touch him. And then the sons are there too. So like dad, Oh my God. Show tunes are officially dead. And then he just kills them all too. But meanwhile, he slashes one in the throat. he stabs another one but one of them stabs him in the side and he doesn't even notice because he's

58:24Ben Mandelker: such a man and you know what's funny i didn't notice either so what happens is that aemon then alice is watching of course because she she loves this shit and aemon sees alice and he like basically collapses like right at her feet but what was funny is that because i didn't actually see that he was stabbed i thought that alice was like using her powers to like subdue him and kill him and i was like yes alice go and then afterwards when i was like reading it was like oh well and amon got stabbed and he and he fell to her feet i was like oh i don't know how i missed that came up and stabbed him i don't know i completely missed that he's like why am i dancing no he got stabbed and of all the people to get for it to take down amon would be some rando

59:11Ronnie Karam: eating dinner with sir simon yes exactly uh but he's like help me so she's looking at him like oh god another one but she's gonna put him through some she's gonna nurse him back you know you know

59:26Ben Mandelker: he has weird mommy issues so he's gonna fall in love with her and he will promise he will i think actually make a weird promise to be like i will get heron hall for you she'll nurse it now it's

59:37Ronnie Karam: like fire damaged i don't want fucking heron okay i want heron she has a vision for it and an hgtv

59:43Ben Mandelker: designer okay well she i think she actually probably would do great things with harren hall she has an idea she probably wants to make an open concept like mid-mod look well she's already there

59:54Ronnie Karam: that's like the only room left in the house is the one they're in right now but she can't ever

1:00:00Ben Mandelker: execute her vision because these guys are in there just trying to put in barker loungers and you know like crap the cups in the thing oh the cups in the chair oh she's like she's like i don't i don't want something retailed like but it's from ikea she's like i i don't want ikea and harren hall anymore i want something nice i want west elm i want an article i'm guessing

1:00:25Ronnie Karam: we're gonna see eamon again because he's not gonna go out like that alice isn't just gonna you know she'll put him through some good you know uh what do you call it when you see things hallucinations and get her way so then we go to king's landing and the dragons are coming and everyone's like Oh, my God, it's dragons. God, I know I've said this about, like, every character that we've come across today, but can these people catch a break either? My God, this is the least peaceful town I've ever seen. Like, at some point, you just got to be like, listen, it's nice being close to restaurants, but peace is more important.

1:01:00Ronnie Karam: I mean, Jesus.

1:01:02Ben Mandelker: Yeah, I mean, King's Landing really is a dump, I have to say. Like, the people there are all awful. They're so annoying. Like, it's really nothing special.

1:01:11Ronnie Karam: starved and shit i mean like you think you're living in the capital it should be nice but jesus did you see ulf's wife serving i feel like ulf's wife made a cameo in there like yeah when the dragon was in there yeah she saw him riding right overhead she's like oh geez i guess

1:01:27Ben Mandelker: i'll go inside this fucker it's just no hugh's wife ulf i thought it was ulf wasn't life oh you're right you and ulf just look that's right they look alike and they're they're both from That's right. Ulf was just like a barfly, and Hugh had the wife. Yeah. I'm sorry to the listeners.

1:01:47Ronnie Karam: And then we also saw the brothel lady that Eamon bangs, like the mommy complex lady. She's like, well, holy crap, you can't even do your laundry anymore without damn dragons coming in.

1:01:57Ben Mandelker: I think I saw Bethany Frankel in there. She's like, what, so it's like a dragon? Like, we're just going to look at dragons now?

1:02:01Ronnie Karam: It's the reckoning.

1:02:05Ben Mandelker: It's everyone. So they land. also by the way a bit indelicately there's also some structural damage that happens here I just think that the dragons could like learn a little bit to have like a softer landing they're very gentle when they let people off their backs but when they land on a structure they just like don't even care well especially

1:02:22Ronnie Karam: in like their home turf like you would think they'd make roofs stronger for dragons to land on because you're right they'd land it's like okay well there went a decade of work

1:02:32Ben Mandelker: I know like can we get like a helipad in here for these dragons

1:02:36Ronnie Karam: it's like six so they come in they land in the backyard and they jump off their dry reina reynier and daemon jump off and draw their swords and uh people all kneel because you know they tell them you better kneel uh and drop your swords or die and so they kneel and reynier is like wow allicent did as she promised and they're like well we better try it inside first so reynier is like do not be afraid i've come to make things right ray ray's home baby we're back right so they enter

1:03:09Ben Mandelker: and then um five guards come up these poor actors who thought they were gonna have a larger role in this show they're like okay i'm coming and they're dead so then they go through it it was very video gamey at this part like like escorting ray ray and like you know with your sword and like little swarms of like villains would come out and you have to kill them and move on to the next room and another swarm. And so Damon's like, who else dares rise against us in our house? And then they go through. They get to the throne room and then Ray Ray starts to go towards the throne. But then here comes Sir Ricard again and he has brought out a bunch of his guards and he's like, uh-uh, I don't think so.

1:03:51Ronnie Karam: Yeah, he's like, I would kill you. But then the gold cloaks come in and the gold cloaks are like, yeah we were made by damon and we love damon damon remember how many things we fucked up together back in the day that was so fun remember when we were the cops that were like beating people

1:04:10Ben Mandelker: and like getting 20 years ago that was 20 years ago damon got me a free starbucks and i will always remember it dirty cops stay together they do they love each other they stick together

1:04:24Ronnie Karam: So they come in and the Gold Gloaks come to save the day. Dun, dun, dun. So now, let's see. Sir Luther, yeah, Sir Luther is the one who's like, we love Daemon. Yay, dae, dae. So Sir Ricard is like, the Prince Regent will not stand for this. No, with a hand. I'll get all of you. You're kind of outnumbered. Okay. Dead.

1:04:49Ben Mandelker: You lost. Dead, dead, dead. so now they're like okay Raria's like okay well this is great but bring me Aegon the Yusuf so they go to get Aegon but little did they realize that hot Laris took him away a long time ago actually and Orwell's like I don't know where he is I don't know please don't kill me I'm really people keep trying to kill me and I just please trust I don't know where he is please please please

1:05:17Ronnie Karam: yeah let's almost kill Orwell again that he hasn't been through enough so he's like i'm a maester what are you killing me i've just i'm stuck wherever the king is whoever the king is like leave me alone and he's like pledge fealty to viserys's rightful

1:05:33Ben Mandelker: air queen of my blood and oath god please just let me go please yeah and daemon's like well

1:05:39Ronnie Karam: uh if aegon's fled then we're still gonna have to take heads and you know i don't really want to take down a maester but i gotta get ahead it's got it's kind of in the thing he's like kill me if you must but i can offer you another who might give you better satisfaction yeah so now would you rather have a super rapey person because i know just the guy

1:06:01Ben Mandelker: meanwhile down in like amongst the small folk allison and helena are trying to escape which is something they should have done maybe like just a little bit sooner and so they're just like walking around but the guards are the guards are like you know closing in you know and they they don't know where they're going to be able to escape and their options are limited and so we go back uh to daemon he's in the dungeons he's gonna get he's gonna go get jasper wild but then um uh then sir jasper is like oh really you're gonna do this this is her doing conniving little bitch he's like whatever keep on talking and i'll relieve you of your cock before your head just for the fun of it but then this old guy comes up and he's like by the way i have a gift for you from Lord Larys Strong.

1:06:49Ronnie Karam: Well, he says, a gift for you if you ever returned, Lord Larys Strong. Damn, Larys. Larys, did Larys just win this whole show? Just give everything to Larys. I mean, Larys is pretty good. Yeah, but he got,

1:07:02Ben Mandelker: but like he took, he took what's his face, Aegon out, and so now this has to continue. So he kind of didn't win. He's prolonged.

1:07:11Ronnie Karam: Yeah, because Aegon would have been killed if he had stayed there. Yeah. well either way he's damon goes into so far he even left a gift like all that time in the past and he goes uh damon goes into the cell puts his fire into the cell to see who it is and just starts laughing and i just was like oh no oh you knew it was gonna be auto because they showed you ended the last episode auto in a jail with fire coming on his face being like

1:07:40Ben Mandelker: yes so we knew once once i saw that it wasn't like a trap or like some monster uh once i heard like the heavy breathing in that cell i was like oh it's auto it's auto hightower and i was excited i was like yes auto is back let's see what happens with auto i'm excited for a lengthy storyline with

1:07:57Ronnie Karam: auto they really kept auto on the back for a while only to bring him back for something really good

1:08:05Ben Mandelker: Was there like a contract negotiation that didn't work out? Like, why did you do that to us? So basically the guards bring in Sir Jasper to the throne room. And, you know, Ray Ray's like, you know, asking him like, who of your council still left alive? But then Damon's like, by the way, the rats in the black cells have grown on common big. And here comes Otto Hightower. So Otto went missing about midway through last season, early to midway through last season. And then the last time we saw him was just a glimpse of him in the season finale where he was in the jail cell, as you just mentioned. Sort of hinting that like, ooh, get ready for next season because there's going to be some big Otto shit that's going to happen.

1:08:55Ronnie Karam: and yeah he got fired by eight and kicked out so we just assumed he ran away somewhere but noop uh laris caught him and put him under the red keep so auto just comes in and looks around he's like i assume everybody's dead well fuck me okay yeah so um daemon's like well egg on's fled but this guy can stand in this place and he's like just get it over with for christ's sake i mean He's better than jail. You know, just kill me already. So Ray Ray Ray has to behead him. And she's like, I know I don't want to behead somebody. What the fuck? Can I just enjoy my chair? Okay. I think she should have said.

1:09:34Ronnie Karam: Can mama have a seat?

1:09:36Ben Mandelker: Yeah. She should have said, you know what? I am going to be a benevolent queen. I'm going to throw him back into jail, which will be far worse than if I actually end his suffering now. But they're like, no, no, you got to do it. So, he's like, well, if your father could see what it has come to, he would have never imagined it. Well, it's like because of you, by the way. Okay? You dipshit. Like, you're the one who created all this chaos. If your dad, if like Viserys could have just done his own thing. And by the way, Viserys kind of sucked. Let's not sugarcoat this. But like, there would not be this giant civil war if Otto was not like trying to pull all these strings and trying to get Alicent into power.

1:10:15Ben Mandelker: Yeah, that's a lot of nursing.

1:10:16Ronnie Karam: If your father could see you. You stole her throne. He'd behead you himself, you dick.

1:10:22Ben Mandelker: Sorry, his eyeballs fell out.

1:10:24Ronnie Karam: Yeah. Speaking of death. Damon sheathes his sword. And Raymier is like, speak no more. And Damon's just like, you can do this, okay? You're going to become queen people. Listen, we're talking to a room full of men. They need to see some heads roll. Just do it. You can do it. She's like, no. You can. She's like, no. It's like, you can do it. So Otto's like, well, at least let him do it. Because you're a woman, and I'd rather just be beheaded than hacked to death. Because God knows you can't aim. You couldn't even play softball. You even sucked at that. Couldn't even play T-ball. We had the ball on a tee for you.

1:11:02Ben Mandelker: I mean, really? Ray Ray is queen. What's next? Out of season caterpillars. Am I right, everyone? So Otto, he basically is like, fine, I did my best. So Ray Ray's like, oh, thwack. And then we see that his head is actually still in place. and he's like oh and i thought for a moment i was like oh they're doing one of those things where she did a thwack but isn't killing him to be like i could have killed you but actually wasn't even that either she just actually messed up and she just kind of got his upper back well i mean it

1:11:29Ronnie Karam: takes some practice it's like she's never beheaded anybody before jesus christ everyone's like why wasn't it perfect god right way give her she needs some practice okay god that's better a whole lot

1:11:41Ben Mandelker: better than when viserys tried to kill that that stag once remember that he was like oh yeah

1:11:48Ronnie Karam: god it's embarrassing but she thwacks him but then she like she was thwacking because she kind of wouldn't look you know and so he's like and so she gives it another go and this time focuses and boom there goes that head i thought that was pretty good getting it in two tries

1:12:03Ben Mandelker: your first time yeah it was impressive i was like a little as a viewer i was annoyed because i was excited for what complication the return of otto was going to bring and the fact that that was actually resolved so quickly and was a bit disappointing and anticlimactic for me especially because also we really had been waiting a year to see what would happen what would be the the outcome of his disappearance so uh what the outcome is that he loses his his head in this episode and

1:12:31Ronnie Karam: then of course sir jasper's like i would also like to say something and damien just like slices his

1:12:35Ben Mandelker: head off to. It's like, bye.

1:12:36Ronnie Karam: It's like, tell my lady wife. I mean, if that goes fine, tell your wife, what you just tried to rape somebody.

1:12:42Ben Mandelker: So everyone cheers.

1:12:44Ronnie Karam: I'll tell your wife. You're welcome.

1:12:47Ben Mandelker: Everyone cheers. Just as some guards bring Alison and Helena in and Alison is looking down and she's like, bitch, it's supposed to be a son for a son, not a son, like a son and a father. Like you don't get to do that. My dad also, which I feel like this is gonna be a diplomatic issue. I feel like Alison's gonna be like, I just did all this and you killed my dad. You weren't supposed to kill my dad. By the way, I didn't know my dad was here.

1:13:14Ronnie Karam: Hey, I was just wanting you to murder my son, not my dad, Jesus. And then Alison walks slowly towards the throne covered in blood. And you see the reflection of her walking up to the throne in the pool of Otto's blood, which was pretty cool. Yeah. And then she goes up and she sits on the throne, but like kind of like not very confident, you know, which is I love this show. It's so good. It's great. Now some shit's really going to go down because this was only episode two and there's six more episodes and a whole season to go of this. So, yeah, that's like just sit there happily. So, oh, God.

1:13:52Ben Mandelker: Yeah. I feel like Allison's going to have an issue. And then there's also there's going to be an issue of like, what does Ray Ray do with Allison? because Alicent helped her, but she, as the queen, can't be publicly nice to Alicent. And then there's also the issue of Raina because Raina killed, basically led to Jace's death. And so there's a bounty on Raina's head, but no one realizes it was Raina except for Bala. So it's like a whole, there's a whole kind of mess happening over there. It just goes to show, you know, just when you think you've closed one tab, three more open up.

1:14:26Ronnie Karam: Yeah. Great show. Another great episode right in a row. Fantastic. Thanks everybody for being here. Go subscribe to Winter is Crappening and check us out on Watch What Crappens and we'll talk to you next time. Bye.

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