#3447 RHOA S17E14 Part One: Saucy Tartan

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1:55Ben Mandelker: What happens when there's so much that crappens?

2:25Ben Mandelker: that one day we have we've missed you but we had the wonderful ray sani and eric williams fill in and i love those two so much and they were so great and i just want to give a big thanks to them for for subbing in and also a big thanks to the audience for uh being patient with us while we took a one-week break because we know there's a lot of good stuff on bravo that was worth talking about and uh you know we we know we know it's hard when podcasters go away for a second and so thank you so much for giving us that time because it really helps us like get refreshed and just like have just it's just nice and now i feel like ready to dive into the second year of bravo second half of the year for bravo how was your time off figuratively um it was great i mean i was out of it because i got a waddle job on my neck so i'm still bruised so i hope nobody's triggered by like bruising because i do look like i've been strangled i went to the grocery store the other day and they were much worse you know they were all the way down my neck and my face was still all swollen and i was walking through there just with sunglasses looking for whatever people were just looking at me and then looking the other way and crossing the aisles you know there was a certain kind of power in it i have to say so i love how he got into a fight he survived like he's scary uh-huh yeah because it looks like you were good been strangled but also attacked by a wild animal yes it really did i looked crazy and i had lego face because my whole bottom half was swollen out to here and i look what did he change my face what's happened but now i still have the same old face but less waddle so anyway that was fun and it gave me an excuse to be in bed you know watching endless hours of tv which i don't know was great for me or not it's some it's weird how i do that anyway in real life but then when you have to do it it's um it's like why and then the the endless thoughts you know like listening to my own thoughts really not having you to come talk to every day is crazy whenever we have time off it really is like who do i tell this to like i'm watching mcb i'm screaming at the tv and like i need to tell somebody this and No one in my real life is watching McBee.

4:40Ben Mandelker: I was actually so happy because two weeks ago, I watched the wrong episode of the McBee Dynasty. I watched the wrong screener, so then we couldn't actually do the recap of it because we sat down to recap it, and I hadn't actually watched – I hadn't watched episode three. I'd watched episode four, so we just canceled it for the whole week. But it also meant that on our week off, I didn't have to watch the McBee Dynasty because I'd already watched it. And honestly, what a dud of an episode that was, right? This whole engagement. Ugh, so boring. but then again i'm also someone who what you know like sat through like many millions of us the two-hour finale of love island last night where nothing happened yeah until the last 10 minutes of that show but uh well the mcbede thing seeing the um jesse who i've always just assumed was this nice sweet guy well we'll talk about it when we get to make yeah what a lot of assholes yeah we've been away from each other for a week so now we're like everything um but what i will say is um atlanta we're talking about real housewives of atlanta today and um it was wow what an episode uh also patreon.com i did that because i tried to turn on the fan and the fan didn't turn on but the light turned on and i was like why do i have a shining spot on my head because i'm an idiot sorry ben you also look like you you sank down a little bit in your camera shot oh it's because i put my legs up oh i said like holding my knees during the podcast so it's uh come join us on patreon.com slash watch for crappens get access to the bonus episode video newsletter ronnie's knees ad free listening all that good stuff um we have a lot to catch up on this week i uh we have real housewives of atlanta can i just say i have to say something before we start our atlanta thing which is that this weekend i went to um a french fry festival in Griffith Park.

6:29Ben Mandelker: What? I missed a fucking French Fry Festival? Consider yourself lucky. What? Where was it? I interrupted you before you could even finish. It was at the Autry Museum in Griffith Park. It was the biggest ripoff. It was like, people are calling it the French Fryer Festival. This company, I'm putting this company on blast. Bootleggers. Not bootleggers. Bucketlisters. Bucket Listers. What's a Bucket Lister? They're like the company that does the Saved by the Bell pop-ups and everything. And here's the thing. If this company brings a food festival to your city, do not go to it because this was such a ripoff.

7:13Ben Mandelker: Bought tickets. The tickets were expensive. They were like, I think, over$50 a head, maybe$60. Don bought them. But they were still like, and you get there and you wait in line. We had the VIP tickets and we waited in line 30 minutes just to get into this festival. this food festival, and then it was just a bunch of food trucks. We're paying to go to food trucks, and then nothing was free. You then have to go wait in a 15-minute line to get tokens. And then when you get the tokens, you have to get in line for 15 minutes at a food truck, and then you buy – you turn in one token, which – each token is$7, and you turn in that token to get French fries from the food truck, which they are making to order, so none of the fries are ready.

7:54Ben Mandelker: So then you wait another 10 minutes. Could you even imagine spending, first of all, spending$7 on a little basket of generic French fries? And I thought the entire thing was going to be like lots of different booths. Like when we went to the South Beach Wine and Food Festival, I thought it'd be a lot of little booths. And these different restaurants would be there and then have all their fun little spins on French fries. Here's a poutine. Here's a waffle fry. Here's a this with this on it. None of that. It was all just regular fries. It was just like, here's a regular fry from Dave's Hot Chicken.

8:23Ben Mandelker: Here's one from Marathon Burger. here's one from this truck it's like how many regular fries can you get i mean it's all fries are good but this is the biggest ripoff and they had no water stations so uh i just want to let everyone know i'm putting the company on blast because they wasted everyone's time and money so there's my advocacy bastards yeah that's my advocacy for today everyone i you know welcome back the world's burning down but you know this fucking french fry company but you know i do get that i would have been super pissed that is really romantic that don bought you tickets because it sounds like something that he was so excited you know well you know he loves potatoes he loves potatoes i love a potato you love potatoes i eat potatoes every day and that's why it's so weird that you and i are even apart and we still kind of do the same things because i've been using this as an excuse to like eat whatever i want so i've been getting fries every day i've had peterry's fries, Whataburger fries, McDonald's fries, Wendy's fries, Burger King fries, frozen fries from the grocery store, the regular cut potatoes.

9:26I mean, I've literally... It's more fries than I had at the Fry Fest. To a Fry Festival.

9:30Ben Mandelker: I only got two things of fries. There was so much waiting that we just sold off all of our tickets. We just sold them to some Gen Zers, and we left. It was crazy. My friend Hannah, she spent$200 in terms of tickets to get in there and buying the tokens, and all she got out of it were two small fries and a grilled cheese oh crazy that's disgusting hell no shame shame on bucket listers yeah and their shitty shitty event disgusting fry rip off all right well let's thank you everyone for your patience who's even heard of a fry festival i mean it was interesting for me i didn't know that was a thing i had to use our platform better yeah we would do a very good fry festival i believe So here we go Real Housewives of Atlanta Season 7, episode 14 Highland Games and Explosive Claims So A lot of this episode Was a fry festival A lot of it But man it got good Towards the end And you know Shamia takes a lot of shit Because she is Kind of insufferable And deserves it But man she made it interesting at least well, yeah, this episode, it was just sort of like humdrum, fun and games.

10:49Ben Mandelker: Nothing was really happening. And I was like, oh man. And then all of a sudden, the last like 10 or 12 minutes of this episode, I was like, oh wow. It was like that, it was that generational shit that just, she's been holding it in and just putting it out there. Oh, that was, that was good. And like the two, the Portia and Shamia have been trying so hard to just not let their shit kind of even like come on to the show this season i think they're both playing a game of chicken of like i'm gonna take the higher road no i'm gonna take the higher road i'm not gonna talk about shamiya i'm not gonna talk about porsche we're not gonna do that we're not gonna and then finally the dam just broke and it all came out and it was great we i don't know that they've been trying to keep it off screen i think porsche has been doing a good job of just letting shamiya look crazy because shamiya comes on and tries to start it in the first episode at porsche's party that She was having it her house with the new guy, you know, what was that party that she's having?

11:47Like the singles? Oh, no, the couples party. Yeah. Yeah. To introduce her new boyfriend or whatever. And Shamia, then Shamia shows up late and then she tries to kind of start with Portia. And Portia has been just like, I'm not going to give it to you. Like, I know what you're doing. I know you're coming on here to just start shit with me. It worked last season. I'm not going to even give you that. Have fun. And let's see what you can do on your own without using me as a storyline. And I think she's been pretty good at keeping Shamia at bay because she sees what Shamia is doing. You know, I think it's obvious.

12:21And then she just let her have it at the end and went so low. I mean, Shamia went so low first, but then Portia was like, OK, I'll match. You know, it was like it was like a low. Crazy. She was like, it was crazy. You know, I'll raise that a dollar.

12:37Ben Mandelker: Yeah. but uh the episode begins and they are everyone's gathering for breakfast um and phaedra has an update which is that she wants to go on to tasty black which is the website that kay uh announced she likes to go to to watch porn but unfortunately um i guess there's no porn in the uk or at least that site is is not allowed in the uk so phaedra um she had a little bit of a stumbling block on Yeah, they said you can't get porn in Scotland. What do people do? I mean, what do you watch? There's only so much TV, for Christ's sake. Texas passed a law where you have to do age verification or something to watch porn.

13:19And it's just so stupid, you guys. Okay, so I'll go through another step. I know. Just give me the porn. We're looking at it anyway. What the hell?

13:30Ben Mandelker: I know. It is hilarious. But I guess the irony of Scotland not allowing porn when you just have a nation of freeballing. How do you not let people go to porn when you have hot guys freeballing around in their kilts all day? Let people then go off and watch their porn afterwards. Especially because kilts are such a – that is such a specific porn genre too. The Scottish motif, right? That's definitely a porn thing, right? I don't know. I've run into a ton of kilt porn. Outlander? I think there's a thing for everything, really. Yeah, that's true. There's people who poop on each other. You can find something for anything, I guess.

14:17Nose hair porn. Yeah. I love that really long nose hair. Yeah, Kendrick. I'm sorry, how old are you? I'll come off. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappens commercial You know, one thing I love about summer is how easy everything feels. The days are more relaxed and I find myself reaching for the same comfortable go anywhere pieces again and again.

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16:50They go outside, and it's a long day. It's very reminiscent of this real, I mean, much classier because it's in Scotland. No offense, Rhode Island. But it reminded me of Rhode Island when they went to the big mansion in Newport. and then they all just did nothing but hang around the mansion and play games on the lawn they're fine somehow made that somewhat entertaining this they weren't as lucky it was like two guys in kilts and they they said um we're gonna teach you a bunch of games that have been invented in scotland i guess and um they were like throwing logs and stuff and of course shimmy is like i'm used to flipping big logs hey jill it's like oh god shimmy up the log the log throwing is less exhausting oh my god i mean i kind of enjoyed it it sort of reminded me

17:38Ben Mandelker: of the amazing race i feel like there was an episode of amazing race where they had to do this like take these logs and flip them around and everything uh so they did this for quite a while for an entire segment of like the logs and then there was what was even after the logs they they wind up doing uh they wind up playing tug of war there was something in between the logs and tug war i don't remember what it was but um they go to as a hammer toss they do a hammer toss and then they do tug of war the only thing that was really notable about the tug of war was um when quote unquote team sturdy dragged uh the other team and team mighty across the line and um kelly is just like she just like falls over and she's just like on her back and her feet are just in the air she just just gets dragged across the lawn with that rope mangel is like oh it felt good like Like, I've been waiting to drag Kelly's ass the whole trip.

18:32So, Kelly, basically, it's wacky. So then they go back inside for treats. And now's the part where real housewives go to another country and just act offensive at any cultural thing that they're offered.

18:49Ben Mandelker: Today, it's haggis. Yeah, we knew the haggis moment was coming. We knew there would be a, oh, my God, it's haggis. but you know normally whenever we've seen haggis on a reality show because anytime any show goes to scotland they always present haggis and they try to always serve them like the most disgusting version too like you just see this big old bladder full of meat and stuff and oats uh but in this case they got like very refined little like fried balls of haggis they looked lovely and they were like no i'm like i would have eaten that in a heartbeat and they even had a nice little vegan one for pinky yeah i'm isn't there a character named haggis in something i think so i also want to point out that i would have much rather have had this haggis than anything at the fry festival i'll just say that right now there is a character named haggis character haggis i'll look it up everyone he's a giant in the henry scriever book series um arthur okay and he's the fiercely scottish short-tempered cartoon character from the ren and simpy show i guess mcaggis he's also which of the woods in pumpkin head hard times for haggis is a book also well you see people come here they learn about the french five festival they learn about nose hair porn and they learn about characters named haggis.

20:10So what else do you need?

20:13Ben Mandelker: Yeah. So now everyone tries the haggis and now they go to the dining room where they're actually going to be served more haggis, which I think is kind of funny. But Portia's asking Kelly how she feels today. And Kelly's like, well, this morning was a little heavy for me, but I'm okay. Thank you, ladies, for asking. And they're like, well, we love you, Kelly. She's like, yeah. It was a good day. Thank you. It was heavy. It was hard for me. Because the last night, like, she had a bonding moment with the ladies where she and Portia decided they just weren't going to fight anymore. It's just not worth it.

20:51Yeah, with all this stuff going on with the ex-husband and not allowing the kids to film and this and that. She's like, let's just get along. So they decided to get along. And Drew's like, yeah, well, last night was liberating. And it was very spiritual. I just felt like for the first time We were really able to come together In Phaedra's room Cynthia, myself, Kelly, Portia And Portia's like You know Drew's always Going to try and start something in her Innocent little voice Yeah we were in her room talking very privately And Portia's like well I felt it Last night for sure And you know we made an understanding me and Kelly That we heard each other But we're going to be friends now And Shamia does not look happy about this.

21:37I think this starts Shamia's spiral.

21:40Ben Mandelker: Oh yeah, good point. And yeah, Portia's like, I want you to call me. I want you to be around me. I want you to ask me for stuff. And Shamia's like, the fact that Portia's able to forgive other people and not me is crazy. But I've seen this before. I'm not buying it. But hey, I hope it works out. Good luck. I'm like, but Shamia, are you asking for forgiveness right now? I don't even know. like yeah, it sucks, but you're not sitting here trying to get Portia to forgive you. You guys are both mad at each other. Well, Portia did forgive her. Kelly just wants to keep bringing it up over and over and over and over and over and over.

22:22Ben Mandelker: The problem with Shamia is this. Shamia's going down, is participating in a long tradition on reality TV, which is actually one of my favorites, which is the sidekick separating away from their dominant, their alpha. And it always creates so much drama on reality TV because whenever there's a sidekick in an alpha, that dynamic is so built in that when the sidekick tries to become the alpha, neither of them really know how to deal with it and they lose their minds. And Shamia's trying to do that, but she's clearly not totally comfortable doing that because as much as she spent last year being like, now I'm finally going to step in the spotlight.

23:01Ben Mandelker: I'm going to be my own person. I'm not just going to be a friend of it. I'm not just going to be this person that follows along with whatever Portia does. I'm going to be Shamia. Here she is now saying like still wanting Portia's sort of forgiveness or apology or whatever. She's like wanting stuff from this person that she now wants to be independent of. And it's like, this is why you're still going to be the sidekick. She doesn't really have anything without Portia. Like Portia is the entertaining one in that relationship. you know because last year Portia didn't even know they were arguing she's like what we're arguing it was the whole season and she me had been going behind Portia's back like oh and it really hurt my feelings that Portia didn't support me when I came on this show and she didn't want you know she didn't even want me to be on the show and then she didn't like come celebrate me she just sent me flowers and I remember saying she sent you flowers I mean that's nice right Right.

23:53I don't get it. Of course, we saw Portia send flowers again this season and it wasn't nice. So, you know, anyway, but Portia didn't even know. She's just like, we're fighting now. And Shamia is still trying to just bring up this stuff, I think, because she knows she doesn't have anything going on on her own. You know, she's tried it all season and there's just nothing. I mean, she's going to make a dick joke every day and talks about how much she likes, you know, getting dick from Gerald. And then she'll cry about, you know, the drama stuff in her life. but she really as far as entertainment she doesn't have anything and she tried it she's tried it with a lot of people this season and they just read her for filth and so now she's going to try and come for porsche and it's just it's kind of sad because i don't really dislike shimia i just think she's flopping so hard on the show and it's oh she just doesn't i just like this version of her

24:42Ben Mandelker: worse and worse i see shimia is actually a pretty sad person i was completely on her side with the Porsche thing. I feel like she probably has like, it's probably very exhausting being Porsche's friend and she probably put a lot into it. And I feel like she probably didn't, she, I feel like Porsche was probably a good friend to Shamiya in certain ways, but if I have to imagine with Porsche being the star that she is, that, that, that friendship was a little bit more one way Shamiya going into Porsche and Shamiya probably got exhausted and probably like she finally has this moment where she can be almost like on equal footing with Portia.

25:17Ben Mandelker: And now she's like feeling like, you know, she's getting some sort of resistance from Portia and just like, man, after all I've poured into you, you can't pour something back into me in this moment for me. So I kind of got all of that, but I almost feel like this season has been a reaction where she's almost trying to overcompensate to be like, like, well, I don't need Portia. I am hilarious on my own. I'm not, I don't need to just be Portia's sidekick. So she's trying to be this big extra person and it's turning all of us off because she's trying so hard and so when you say she doesn't have anything going on i think maybe if she were just being a little bit more authentic or just like more chill we would actually feel like she does have stuff going on and she would be more accessible but right now she's just very presentational and she's just like over the top and like giving drama drama club a member and it's just like i don't know i see her as a very sad person.

26:10Ben Mandelker: She seems like she is. When it's pointed out later in this episode that she's fighting with everyone, it's like that is actually kind of sad. She seems unhappy. Yeah. And a lot of the fights revolve around like, well, I'm happier than you. I mean, look how happy I am. It's all tied to the Gerald... I don't know how to say this, but a lot of it, I think, is just tied to her home life and Gerald because she's not happy over there. and this whole like gerald won't let me act because he doesn't want to see me kiss anybody and all of this that's too much and it's like he's demanding a son he must have a son like must give son right now to gerald or i don't know how gerald will react and i think that that's a lot because you're living in this huge mansion you've got kids you're doing all of this and it's like well what if i don't give gerald what do you know there's a lot of stress well she seems she seems like she is constantly putting herself in positions where there's like a dominant person telling her what she can and can't do and so she's like pushing back against that and but like she's still finding herself in those situations and that's like a very sad place like it's almost like she's just trying to be herself but she doesn't know how to be herself and like yeah she just she's instead like being a very annoying reality star persona instead and it's like oh this is you want better for you Shamia Well, yeah, it's kind of like a person Like it's like an ensemble member of a musical Let's pick an old musical Like Guys and Dolls Okay, and you're like, oh my gosh What's going on with this background person?

27:48And then you put them in the center of the stage And they're just like, want to roll the dice? Want to roll the dice? I love gambling Like, do you have anything else to say? And then it's like, well, why are you bringing The ensemble member up here? They're just supposed to sing

28:03Ben Mandelker: It's like Melinda Doolittle. Do you remember Melinda Doolittle? Is that from, no. Oh, Melinda Doolittle, oh my gosh, yes, from American Idol when Simon was like, you're just a backup singer. And he was right. Melinda Doolittle had the best voice of that season. She just had an amazing voice. I love Melinda Doolittle. Yes, she was great. But ultimately, she was a backup singer, and Simon was right. because she just no matter how good her voice was she never really popped as a star she just she had the talent but she didn't have whatever it took and so some people are just background players and there's actually nothing wrong with that but like sometimes like it's hard to get out of it's sometimes it's hard to get out of the lane that you're sort of slotted into in life and she lost that season ultimately to jordan sparks who appeared on the love island finale last night so look at that like it all comes together she did i watched it where was jordan sparks i mean i was watching it while i was scrolling i was i was on a little hours of people like oh my god on a relationship there was a scene where like the final four were all sitting watching video tribute first we're watching like remember this happened remember this happened and then it was like different like parents were like hey guys we're so proud of you and then various celebrities came on and were it was like lizzo saying you guys are amazing and then demi lovato was like love watching you guys and then ultimately jordan sparks came on and said you know like oh my god you guys are great and thanks for singing no air during the karaoke competition oh my god yeah i definitely had my thumb on the fast forward button for that one so um but yeah you know but also i see porsche's side of all of this like shamia whatever's going on with shamia okay you want to be more of a star your best friend is a huge star on this tv show your best friends brought you on this tv show for years to give you attention and stuff and then you come on to the show as a full-time member and it's like okay but if you want to be a star then go be a star like what are you coming into my i kind of do get that when at the end i mean we're going to the end already not much else happens in this episode but i mean i kind of guess like if you want to be a star then go do it why do you have to first you come on my thing which portia seemed to be fine with the first year no matter what shamiya says she seemed to be fine with it but now you can't even do your own thing that i'm not with you you have to keep starting fights with me to keep yourself relevant it's like if you want to go go be a star, go be a star.

30:50But you can't be a star without like, climbing onto me and starting shit with me to make yourself, to give yourself screen time. Like, I don't know what to tell you, lady. Yeah.

31:03Ben Mandelker: Sorry, I just started thinking about Melinda Doolittle and the concept of Melinda Doolittle as like something that's in our pop culture, like general, like it's out there. I just was laughing like Melinda Doolittle. God, I loved her. i want her to win so talented i'm mad i miss jordan sparks because i haven't seen jordan sparks in years so i want to know it's anyway i'm not i'm not re-watching love island jesus christ okay so better watch it again from the start all two hours so uh porsche is just porsche and kelly have just announced that they made up and they're going to try to be friends shumi is visibly upset and then goes to her room crying and calls her mom and she's like uh you know like i feel so attacked and it starts with Angela which she's right on it that was some bullshit coming from Angela and she's like and she was trying to imply that I was sleeping with her neighbor George and his wife even texted me and said she's lying and the mom's just like uh-huh uh-huh you can tell she takes these calls all the time she's just walking around the kitchen and putting away groceries she's like okay it's Shamia's daily call of sobbing and complaining about being a victim okay just watching the fridge And Shamia's like, I presented that to the group And they were all like, okay, but you talked about our daughter It just always feels like an attack to me And Mama Morton's like, Shamia, just remember At the end of the day, who here is going to be the heir To a huge kosher salt dynasty?

32:31Ben Mandelker: Mom, I'm telling you, we're not the same Mortons You've got to get off that

32:39Okay, Shamia Well, it's not easy when you are having to head up a jail full of women. Okay. Mom, you're not Mama Morton from Chicago either. Who am I even talking to? She's like, oh, Jesus. I'm just trying to make this more entertaining, Shamia. Please.

32:56Ben Mandelker: Listen, when you own a string of Canadian coffee shops, it's hard. Mom, we're Morton, not Orton. We are not Tim Orton's.

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35:57So yeah, the mom's like listening to her as she's going on and on and she's crying about being a victim but you did say something i mean you she didn't say anything mean about angela's daughter but who does that who goes up to that was so wow you're so much nicer to your uh then you're so much nicer than your mother is which we didn't even clock when

36:15Ben Mandelker: that was i think we did it was clocked yeah we clocked because i thought that was really obnoxious i mean i think i clocked i remember seeing him being like that's crazy that you would say that to someone's daughter like that's so tacky and then she's gonna be later on she's gonna be like why can't you i'm just surprised you wouldn't have your daughter come over i'm like because we saw how you already talked to someone else's daughter in this group i'm sorry that was bad yeah that was just tacky yeah real tacky and you're not the victim here okay with angela you kind of were but you've also been saying all sorts of shit about angela that could or could not be lies i don't know you know so um anyway i'm not crying for you but you're you're crying enough for yourself for all of us so then we go back to the kitchen and pinky is talking to k Michelle and she's talking about the Shamia stuff and she's like I feel energy with you guys okay like so you need to talk about the vibes I mean there's something still there and she's like well I just don't feel the same about her you know I mean I'm keeping the same energy but this situation I just watched a lot of change-ups I mean how are you gonna be standoffish with me and then we go back to Shamia and she's crying still she's like even with Kimberly last night we had some stuff that we had to talk about which we did end up finding some resolve but I was just hurt that you know, it came up in the group.

37:29Ben Mandelker: So then Kay Michelle is telling Pinky, when she was like, I don't have anybody here but Kelly. And I'm like, I'm like right here, you know? And Pinky's like, yeah, you were sitting right there. She's like, yeah. Now Kay Michelle is hilarious because her whole thing was that Shamia went at the club. Shamia put her hands on Kay Michelle's cheeks and said, I'm the only one who's willing to be friends with you. And Kay Michelle was like, fuck her. That's so obnoxious. I can't, I don't like her anymore. and I have to imagine that that got back to Shamia and now Shamia's like well I guess I really only have Kelly and then I mean all I have is Pinky and now Kelly's whole thing is like wait but we're friends and I said to her we're going to be friends because she tells us she goes I don't care if you're mad because you're going to be my friend to see her look at the Kelly that way and be like I don't got nobody in this group but you and I think that's really unfair because when I've done nothing but have your back except for when I told everyone I'm crazy we're at the club it's like k michelle is so all over the map at all times it's like wait i thought you were angry at her i thought you didn't even consider her a friend you thought she was like i can't get a read on k michelle but it's like that's what i'm i that's what i love about her i love how ridiculous she is well she told pinky that shimia had said that and then whoever was it pinky was like are you guys okay she was like you need to bring it up in the group they kept trying to make her bring it up in the group and at first she was like i'm not gonna do this isn't the right time to do this And then they brought it up again for her to bring it up.

38:54So she had to kind of in the real housewives kind of a way. But she's like, wait a minute. How's this caught up with her that she's mad at me now?

39:04Ben Mandelker: So then came Michelle saying, I feel like I was trying to make sure she was all right. Okay. And I was like, I didn't get no dick from her. Bicky's like, no dick. She's like, none of my bills are like, oh, like all and none of my bills being paid. Nothing. So I played like Phaedra, you know, because she's just like Pillsbury. And she just goes I love that I love when she said that That was so funny I'm just gonna act like Phaedra Mm-hmm Mm-hmm Hey, Michelle is so funny So we go back to Shamia And she's like, you know I don't want to keep talking about it But it's hard to move forward when you've been wronged And when they're saying your feelings are invalid You know, and I have to be the bigger person And it's always me who has to just apologize And I'm tired of apologizing Oh Shamia your apologies Please they're not true And that YouTube apology I'm never gonna That YouTube apology she gave after the reunion last year That was shitty Forever rent free in my mind Where she's like everyone of everywhere I apologize If ever you were offended By anything That I have done Okay Yeah that was shitty that was a bad move and that's what sort of uh undermined all of her things that she said this season she's like oh well i've apologized already it's like no you just gave a blanket generalist apology doesn't count so uh now it's nighttime uh day two and everyone gathers uh for their evening with their evening looks and pinky is um she's on her phone with uh with her her vp she's like I just want to say today is a fucking day I'm so frustrated right now because of the text messages I see back to fucking back it's always just something you gotta pay 50 here you gotta pay 20 here you got this lawsuit that just came this judgment oh my god so she's once again she owes money left and right to all sorts of different vendors and I'm like why is it so disorganized why is it so chaotic why can't this be fixed already yeah and watching somebody in like brand, you know, like really expensive brands, like all dressed up, like it's like gorgeous, expensive sunglasses.

41:23Like it's so hard. Like everybody's asking for money for me and I just can't take it anymore. And you've got to pay employees and you've got to pay for food. Yeah. You have a fucking restaurant business. What do you think is going on over there? Here, look, let me just suggest something. Spend$40 ,000 on a TV show about yourself. I know

41:43Ben Mandelker: that's going to fix everything everyone knows that independent pilots are always the fast track to success they do well every single time Kenya was nothing before her sitcom pilot she made it for herself Twirl what was it called? like the twirl goes on like life twirls on or something life twirl the golden twirls that actually would have been good i like her thriller gone twirl twirl interrupted yeah don't forget the twirls just want to have fun um so they're like oh god angela you'll be fine everything's gonna be fine okay everybody gather around uh pinky's sorry i said angela pinky is crying about um being broken owing people money again pay your employees so then um drew comes in and she's like what's wrong with everybody so they surround her and they're like we're here for you we're here for you thinking with everybody it is funny angela's very blase she's like we're crying over money i mean it's just money like i get that like there's more important things in life she's because she's like money comes and money goes i've i get that but also like you know like when it's okay for money to come and money to go but when it all has to go like right now at this moment so in four or five or ten figures yeah it's also very rich for angela to say that who just like lost millions of dollars on deals that she's claiming that charles didn't help her pay yeah but come on like you it's easy to say when you're rich you know and you don't have money problems you're like what it's just money oh really yeah oh just 20 000 a year i actually think that what pinky's really crying about is more like it just never ends it's like it's always something it's always gotta pay this gotta pay it it's like like you're like it's not that the money is going it's this idea that like i'm just trying to turn turn the boat around and i it's like the currents are just it's like oh no but yeah i still owe this i still owe this it's like when can we stop going uphill you know but it's just money don't worry about it yeah it's not like i'm tired of this rat race i'm tired of it yeah well you don't want to hear that with anything like oh my god this divorce is so hard it's just divorce it happens every day like oh no no so um now they're gonna go out and they get onto their sprinter van or whatever and cynthia announces that she'll be late because she has to go see a pharmacist yeah what's that which why didn't she take everybody someone posted on reddit remember when cynthia took everybody to the titty doctor and i was cracking up and it just shows all the ladies of atlanta standing around yeah getting it doctor so-and-so i forgot that doctor had a crazy name too it was like dr boobies or something um yeah she goes to pharmacist and we don't really get a we didn't really get an update on that was she on under the weather what was happening and then they all get it was to the pharmacist that you don't say how come what are you getting i mean etc but say i don't know don't tell me you're going to the pharmacist and then don't tell me what you're what you're getting i need to know i would love to see what a scottish pharmacy looks like i'm sure it's just like any other pharmacy but in my mind because uh when i watch these shows i reduce everything down to the each country's like stereotypes i'm like oh that's where you go if you want to get cough medicine and a kilt and some haggis it's like cbs it's like haggis cb haggis

45:37Ben Mandelker: so uh kelly they're in the they're in the sprinter van and kelly is wearing a mcdowell's uniform from coming to america which is very funny um and uh it turns out that uh her man And her man gave it to her. My man, my man, my man. And then it's like, Shamia's very proud because she's like, I introduced them at a Hawks game. And then, of course, Kelly's like, yes, and he paid for my$70 ,000 teeth. And like the rest of us here watching, Phaedra's like, yeah, this girl's got to get her priorities together. Because if a man comes to me offering me teeth when I actually need money to pay my bills, I'm going to be smart enough to say, just give me some crest whitening strips and then give me the$69 ,972 for bills.

46:32so kelly's like well you know i'm just glad that i found somebody you know because i don't want to become hateful because my situation is bad you know i've got someone giving me love i've got somebody giving my money and uh so ashla angela asks what's his sign and um kelly's like he's a Pisces. And so they talk about Pisces and stuff like that. So then Drew's like, so then they start talking about having to pee. And then Drew says, well, you know, it's direct to me. And I noticed that now I go to the bathroom a lot more and I've really frequent urination. And then they ordered me to physical therapy and they do the pelvic floor thing.

47:15And they're like, what? And Phaedra's like okay you've got your vagina you've got your cervix and then you have a pelvic floor that will sometimes fall to the point that you have to have sex to knock it back up and then begins pelvic floor talk which wow i knew nothing about i've heard of the pelvic floor and the way page describes it it sounds like a finger like you go to the doctor and they finger you to put it back in there

47:43Ben Mandelker: that didn't sound right well our no taker our no taker shelby has she's a lady and she can sometimes she's she helps us here with these things and she says this is not true about the having to have sex and knock your pelvic floor she says this is not true you have to strengthen your pelvic floor muscles because what actually happens is the muscles weaken that support the pelvic organs and sex will not fix that so there you go everyone and i definitely knew that as well I 100 % knew that. So they talk about the pelvic floor. And I don't know about this getting fingered during physical therapy. It feels like you're not – it feels like a strange choice.

48:29Well, listen. If it took muscle to hold anything in, I'm super glad I'm not a woman because I would just have it on the ground. I don't have any muscles anywhere.

48:41Ben Mandelker: so oh wait so kelly said like wait you got fingered in like in like physical therapy and shamia's like how long and drew says it's for five minutes and shelby has further insights for us she says this is done so the therapist can make sure you are tensing the muscles correctly and can evaluate the strength and stuff this is a completely normal thing for pelvic floor therapy sorry if you don't care about this but in case you didn't i didn't know how much two gay men would know about it and i didn't want you to be misguided thank you you assessed that correctly yeah i didn't know so um now they're like haha now we know why you're really going to physical therapy through to get fingered and i'm just like who's her doctor is he taking new clients

49:30Ben Mandelker: so now they do kegels kegels to tighten everything up and portia leads like a kegel workshop and they're all sitting there in the van and doing like a one, two, three, four, breathe in, tighten, hold everything. And, um, they do the whole, they do the whole process, which is exciting. I think that actually men have to do kegels too. I think like for it, that's helped. It's helpful for bladder, bladder stuff. Wow. So we should get our kegels on. I guess so. Peeing our pants as we go into the second chapter of our lives, the second half. second half good god i think i'm well into that um not to be negative but i'm honestly shocked i'm still here did i tell you about eating french fries every day of the week so um now we go to a kilt store oh i love this i want to go i want to go scotland specifically just to go to the store this was gorgeous this stuff these fabrics these tartans oh my god to die for um it was fun a bunch of housewives going basically to a fabric store so they stand around they're like what's a Titan and then they explain to them what that is and um so then they start talking about kilts and Shumi is like you know it's only right for those men to go commando underneath those kilts gives them more fashion flexibility free the bat free the balls yeah I love dicks I love I love dicks.

51:01We know. I love dicks, too. You know?

51:06Ben Mandelker: But, like, let's relax here. Congratulations, you've reached the end of part one of a two-part recap. For part two, go look for the recap that says part two. See you over there, suckers. Watch what crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alison King. Our way is the Amber way. It's the Foster and the Furious. It's Amanda Foster. It's Always Automatic with Ashley Otto. Put your hands together for Carly Clapp. Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniela. Itchles! We never miss her call, it's Diane Call. Big yay, it's Emily Gauthier.

51:48Ben Mandelker: Erin McNicholas, she don't miss no trick-a-less. Hava Nagila Weber. You'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones. It's no BS, we love Hugo ES. Yes. Jamie, she has no last naming. Sips some scotch with Jessica Trotch. She's our favorite streamer, Caroline Peacock. Kristen the Piston Anderson. She gets an A from us, it's Lindsay D. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McHenry. Come again? We're obsessed with Margaret O 'Halloran. Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the Berg. Gather round for the lore of Michelle Moore. This is Livin' with Michelle Vivian. I love-a-ya, Olivia Williamson.

52:30She's the lady of the house, it's Rachel Sherouse.

52:32Ben Mandelker: She sure is swell, it's Raquel. Yes, we canna, it's Sadana. Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman. Let's share with Sharon Eldridge. Darn Skippy, it's Tippi. And our super premium sponsors. She's VVIP, it's Amanda V. Somebody get us 10 cc's of BetsyMD. We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. Let's get real with Caitlin O 'Neill Put us on a stretcher, it's Charlotte Fletcher Don't get salty with Christine Pepper Can't have a meal without the Emily Sides Who, what, why, where, and Gwen Pentland Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall We got our wish, it's Jen Plish My favorite Murdo, Karen McMurdo Let's get savage with Laura Wildman In the study with a candlestick, it's Leslie Peacock We're ride or die for Lisa Ryder Barron She's a whiz, it's Liz Sarthy Always killin' it, it's Lola Alkalani Roger that, it's Marlis Rogers The incredible edible Matthews sisters She eases our woes, it's Melissa St.

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53:42Ben Mandelker: We cannot tell a lie, it's Sarah Talifson Shannon, out of a cannon, Anthony Please don't stop, it's Soli and Pop Let's take off with Tamela Plain. Strike a pose, it's Tori Rose. She ain't no shrinking Violet Kuchar. We love you guys. This episode is sponsored by Michaels, one of our very favorite places in the entire world to shop. This is a true story. One time I thought I was walking into an entirely different store and I was like, wow, they have really upped their crafting game in here. And then I realized it was Michaels and I was so happy. Have you ever accidentally walked into a Michaels?

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