#3464 House of the Dragon S03E05 Part One: Out With The Gold, In With The New

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1:08Ben Mandelker: One, two, three, four

1:38Ben Mandelker: Well, hello and welcome to Winter is Crappening. We are here today to talk about House of the Dragon. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me, the one and only, Ronnie Karam. Hi, Ronnie. How's it going? Well, hello. What's going on with you? Not much. Just ready to dive into this week's episode of House of the Dragon. I believe this is going to be episode five that we're going to talk about. If you are new here, if you're new to these parts, we have a Patreon, patreon.com slash watch for crappens. We have bonus episodes. We have video. We have newsletters. We have ad-free listening, all that great stuff.

2:15Ben Mandelker: And so if you're coming here because you're only listening to the House of the Dragon content, we have a whole other world of Bravo stuff that we do. So go check that out. and in the meantime ronnie what did you think about this fifth episode of house the dragon

2:29Ronnie Karam: uh loved it i'm loving i still am just loving this season loving the stress of watching watching ray ray try to deal with local politics i think it's so funny and uh i was you know this was kind of west wingy in that everybody was walking really fast all the time talking and And there were so many places that they were. It was hard to keep all the details. Like, so many locations and so many people being talked about. And then history. They started getting into history at one point. And I was like, oh, my God. My head is literally exploding. Just show me Orman's butt again. Yeah.

3:11Ben Mandelker: It was a very, very talky episode. Very, very political. But I love it. I love, again, I said this last week. I love how this show has finally moved into a place where we have lots of different things happening across the countryside. Alliances being formed, scheming, intersecting things in a way that I think is, that's what the original show was sort of all about. Or that's one of the main features of the show. And so it's so nice that this show finally is there. It only took two seasons to get us set up for this one. But we're in a great place now. And I love all the talking. and I am concerned about Ray Ray she is getting very paranoid she hasn't had a lot of wins there in King's Landing I think her only win was getting cats like she had the bombshell discovery that if you have a rodent problem you bring in cats you take your victories where you can get them but things are definitely going badly in the city there

4:13Ronnie Karam: but they got cats all over the place That's really all we need. They're so cute, too. They're great. I thought they were going to look like, I don't know, like hairless cats. I mean, I don't know. I thought they would look really mysterious and Game of Thrones-y or something. But no, they're just like adorable, fluffy cats.

4:34Ben Mandelker: Yeah, because that's what cats are. It's also hilarious that she's like the first person who came up with this idea. And she didn't even come up with the idea. It was Alan Apoll who came up with it. But like, you mean to tell me that for like centuries, they just would hire humans to catch the rats and not put cats everywhere?

4:56Ronnie Karam: So it was Alan, right? Did you say Alan or Adam? Alan. I said Alan. I did them as the dragon rider. Yes. um also i realized that two of these people on the show lady jane and him dragon rider i did damn were in wait was it adam who was in let me see i have to look up the cast now but um what was the show called with mother and father the robots and they had to take care oh raised by wolves which i I don't know for a fact, but I'm going to guess you didn't watch that one. I did not watch that one. It was so good. Yeah, Lady Jane was like the main bot on there.

5:43Ben Mandelker: You can tell. She has sort of a... Her vibe is someone of like, you know, in another world, I'm raised by robots. Now I'm stuck here in this drafty castle with a hole in the floor.

5:57Ronnie Karam: No, she was the robot. She was the robot? Her husband, like, quote-unquote, her husband was Alan. The same actor as Alan. The same actor as Alan or Adam?

6:08Ben Mandelker: Alan. Oh, Alan. Yeah. So Alan and Lady Jane have a whole other world as robots. Yeah. That's exciting. Yeah. Exciting. Oh, it's such a good show. Canceled before it's time. Well, I mean, that's what's funny about What's-His-Face, who plays Darren, Matt Smith. Not Darren. Damon. Damon. in uh matt smith he always plays these kind of like you know nerdy warm funny whatever and then he's on this show and he's like you know he's damon he's so like he's very kick-ass in the show and i feel like he wasn't he hasn't always been very kick-ass in other things what other shows did you see him in well he's in doctor who and he's also he's also in that movie with darren Aronofsky and so I I filled in about this time a year ago I filled in on Keep It with Louis Bertel and we interviewed Matt Smith and it's just so funny because his vibe on this yeah his vibe on this show is very much like this is what you have to do you have to feed the soldiers the soldiers will root out any evil and burn all the towns and then in real life he's like hi how's it going how you guys doing you guys having a nice time it's funny it's funny what what uh what mornings mornings different than nights isn't it funny different times of the day oh i love it so you guys having a good time yeah i'm just gonna sit here and be like so tell us about this movie he's like the movie is great how are you guys doing you guys have coffee this morning what's going on with you it's just like so not this character was he making the interview about you guys instead of himself i think i think he probably was i think he probably was bored with his press junket and he's like i'd have to answer

7:53Ronnie Karam: these stupid questions all over again i'll tell you what this film was like your morning go ahead

7:58Ben Mandelker: detail it for me i know that's what he was like he was so nice i mean of course it's like a press junket so but he was very friendly and he was very forthcoming uh but he did really he kept on he kept on it was like he felt bad that he was hogging up all the time and it's like no you're you're here

8:16Ronnie Karam: to be interviewed don't worry about us you're the star damon darling so we open up at the river Everlands encampment.

8:29Ronnie Karam: And it's our favorite child king, Oscar Tully. I guess he's not a king. But whatever. Lord. Lord Oscar Tully. I just love his precocious little self. He's like, here's what we need to do. More taxes on the rich, less on the poor. I'm so sick of dealing with fucking Kristen Cole and his stupid haircut. He heard he took up shield painting. I can't. Kill his ass. any way we can.

8:55Ben Mandelker: Yeah, because they're the river folk, and they are marching towards Tumbleton very slowly, and Kristen is being really annoying, his group, because they're kind of like now being roguish and guerrilla types. They are burning all the crossings, which is making life very hard for the river folks. No.

9:14Ronnie Karam: By the way, isn't... No. Wait, are they burning them? They're coming in and burning their camps up.

9:21Ben Mandelker: right no but they're coming and attacking they're burning the crossings oh and then oscar also

9:28Ronnie Karam: decides to burn oscar's like we'll beat them at their own game yeah well you know what you guys just all need to stop torturing road workers stop burning so many bridges both sides both sides are bad stop burning roads you're not the only people who use those roads you're never gonna get ahead

9:43Ben Mandelker: in your career if you keep burning all these bridges so um i like i really enjoy that these two guys come in to talk to Oscar Tully. One's named Lord Peter Piper, and one's Roderick Dustin. So I don't know why. It's like, so your name, are you really Peter Piper? Yes, that is my name. Yes, it's quite annoying, but that is my name. But there's been a crossing that's burned, and we might never reach Tumbleton. I'm sorry, I know the crossing's a big deal, but Peter Piper.

10:12Ronnie Karam: As in the pizza, or is it the guy who led rats into rivers or whatever it was? No, it's Peter with a Y. Well, I assume so. I know. I mean, is there even a Peter spelled any other way? That's how we do it around here.

10:27Ben Mandelker: So what you're telling me, Peter Piper, Lord Peter Piper, Lord Peter Piper, what you're telling me is even though you're named after someone who professionally leads people to places, you still can't cross a river? I mean, what's even the point of being named Peter Piper?

10:44Ronnie Karam: Could you make an attempt at actual chewy pizza? Could we do that? He's like, it's not me. I'm Peter with a Y.

10:52Ben Mandelker: Okay, Sir Justin Roderick, tell me what to do. No, it's Roderick Justin. You got two first names. How am I supposed to know which one goes first?

11:02Ronnie Karam: All right, call Trebek Alex in here. We will figure this out. Oh, wait, the camp is being burned. And Kristen's people have made it into the camp, and they are torching individual tents and murdering everybody. Which is that fucking Kristen?

11:21Ben Mandelker: Yeah. So Kristen's being a dick, as usual. But before he does that, though, basically Lord Tully is like, hey, we're going to go to the Stoney Sept because suddenly the Stoney Sept is where everyone wants to be. Everyone wants to go to the Stoney Sept this episode. But he's like, yeah, what we're going to do is, one of them is like, we're going to beat them at their own game, okay? Like, if they're going to attack us in the night, that's what we're going to do. We're going to attack them at the night. It's an old-fashioned game of you are, and we will. And he's like, go ahead, then do it.

11:56Ronnie Karam: Let's get to some bridge burning, shall we, boys? So, Peter Piper, I should have known he wasn't going to last long because his name is Too Stupid. Too Stupid. He leaves the meeting and goes to his tent and he hears everybody getting murdered outside and comes out. And then guess what? He gets murdered. Listen, if you think you hear people getting murdered outside, don't go outside. It's a general rule. Get a ring cam, Peter Piper. You learn the hard way.

12:24Ben Mandelker: I know. Get a ring raven. Okay? Just put it out there. By the way, I misattributed the strategic choices. It was not Sir Roderick who said, let's beat him at their own game. It was actually Lord Tully himself, because Sir Roderick was like, let me go with that. That kid is precoce. He's great. He's great. I apologize. I apologize for not giving him credit for coming up with a great plan.

12:46Ronnie Karam: So then we got a Harrenhal. Oh, God. And we get a lot of Harrenhal this episode, and it's people coming to find Daemon because there's a bounty now on his head. So it's just people making Daemon. Aemon. God damn it today. I'm so sorry. It's Aemon. Aemon. But you put the D at the end of Amon at the front of it. It becomes Damon, just so you know. I know. Should we blame me or George? George is so annoying with his name. Damon. I know it's like that. Damon. Famon. Payman. Payman. Payman. And Peter Piper. Peter Piper. Peter Piper. Queen Beta Midler.

13:28Ben Mandelker: Beta Midler. She's like, well, if you're going to be marching to Tumble, then you better clean up some trash along the way. Talk about someone who cares about the bridges being taken care of. It's like, well, I'm just freeway. They should have put Bette Midler in this cast. She would have been wonderful as like, you know, they put Diana Rigg in the first game, whose birthday was yesterday.

13:46Ronnie Karam: I was going to say, she would have been a good Diana Rigg. Like, tell her, I was the one that did it.

13:52Ben Mandelker: Yeah, just have Bette Midler. Like, they should have had the lady who shows up on the council this episode. Yes. That'd be Bette Midler.

13:58Ronnie Karam: You promised me Heron Hall. Damn bitch, whatever. Let's take this.

14:03Ben Mandelker: the way that people want this awful castle at all times like i just don't i just don't understand it and so here we are again at harren hall and some local yokels are there to try to find amond as as if and guess who they encounter just the friendliest butler s in the town in this in the all of the country it's alice she's like oh if i had known we were expecting this i would have made up the beds just kidding look at this place we don't have beds we just have three stones that we put under our back and hope for the best.

14:35Ronnie Karam: Listen, I have to leave the house today. That's aggressive, saying, listen. It's like Real Housewives of Rhode Island. Listen. No, I don't mean it like that, but I have to leave the house today. I have to go to a little appointment. And I'm so upset because I know that that means I have to take a shower. I have to somewhat groom. I have to put on clean clothes. You know, Alice doesn't have to do any of that. She never leaves Harrenhal. It's gone to shit. it's been on fire for the 90th time why is she still dressed perfectly her hair is always perfect her makeup is I mean she looks so good does the woman have a robe like a bathrobe just relax Alice you know

15:16Ben Mandelker: look did you learn nothing from Get Grey Gardens okay Edie was like the place is in shambles but I'm still gonna put on a cute like kerchief around my head and a nice little bathing seat and I'm gonna dance around with the American flag okay

15:30Ronnie Karam: yeah i'll put on a lip yeah so else is basically doing that she's like dressed for the oscars just to like you know loaf around the house all day and speak people so she's like there's been a

15:43Ben Mandelker: horde of you since the ungrateful queen announced her bounty well you won't find your quarry here there's an old man who turns the butter and he's blind in both eyes i don't have the heart to tell him he's just been churning a pot of dirt. Can't even see the poor butter. And the boy who feeds the horses. And then there's the, then there are the ghosts, the ghosts. And all the ghosts say, feed me butter. And I say, I wish I could, but the guy who churns, it's been churning a hole in the wall. Don't you understand? This is life at Harrenhal. We have someone churning non-butter at all times. What was I saying?

16:17Ronnie Karam: All right, listen, you know what we have here? Ghosts. We've had ghosts because this place was built by people in chains, and they're pissed. Listen to them now. They're like, oh, oh, oh. Oh, my God. Is this butter on this bagel? You know, normally I would have chosen cream cheese, but, God, this butter is fantastic. Horrible to listen to.

16:36Ben Mandelker: By the way, if any of you guys have an in with Jennifer Love Hewitt, we'd love to have her over here, see if she can communicate with any of these spooky people in the walls. But anyway, that's neither here nor there. The castle breathes. She swallows the greedy, the heedless, the ones that don't bring butter. Her founding stones were watered with the blood of man, and she's always thirsty, because she eats a lot of bread without butter on it, on account of her butter maker. Who can't see what he's doing?

17:05Ronnie Karam: And then she holds a rock, like a little stone, a little worry stone, as we learned from the valley this week. She holds up a little rock and then like kind of snaps. And then bats come from behind her and attack all the guys. I'm like, oh my God, what? Where's the butter? And then they look up and she's gone.

17:25Ben Mandelker: She's disappeared. Classic Alice. So they run away. Classic.

17:29Ronnie Karam: And I was actually thinking in this one, good for the writers at giving Alice like a magic trick with bats instead of doing another rapey thing. because this is this show. And I was like, oh God, here they come with a rapey thing. You know? It's like Alice coming alone to greet all these guys with swords. We know what's going to happen. And then boom, she whipped out the bats. But don't worry. They saved it for later.

17:57Ben Mandelker: It was also nice that she finally got to do a proper witchy thing as opposed to just giving another spooky dream to someone with blonde hair. You know?

18:07Ronnie Karam: Let's have some fun, you know? Yeah, I agree. because usually it's like mind tricks you know she can do mind things but there are so many different kinds of power you know and i like that she's got multiples it's like i can not only fuck with your brains i can send bats at you oh unless that was all in their brains yeah well i mean i

18:28Ben Mandelker: feel like up to now her biggest magic trick was um making it appear as if there's a glow under a door and there's two feet standing at the door and then someone was like wait there's someone at the door they open the door and the one's there like that's her favorite thing so it's like nice to do like move into the world of like bat summoning you know i just saw a tv show uh maximum

18:48Ronnie Karam: overdrive no maximum pleasure guaranteed and there was someone at the door and they shot at the door and then they were like okay we killed the person but they still see the feet standing at the door so they open the door and it was just a pair of sneakers i'm telling you that'll get them every time. You know, she

19:07Ben Mandelker: does all this mind trick stuff. She could have just put some shoes there. Just put some shoes.

19:13Ronnie Karam: Seriously. And then the guys are like, oh, you bloody craven! And then they run. She's like, stop using the C word in this house!

19:23Ben Mandelker: So now we see Aemond himself, and he's in bed at Harrenhal, and he's having a bad dream, and there's voices, and in his dream he hears Aegon laughing at him and then he wakes up and she's like can you hear me he's like oh stay back stay back my brother he gone he was here his face was on fire but he was holding very beautiful butter i saw him so then i knew it was a dream he was clutching at me dragging me down into the dark my brother my brother i was like oh god they even said did you watch the featurette after the after the show did you watch it ryan condal the guy who's in charge he was like we thought that this year we were going to have we decided that we were going to have amon have a parallel story if not the exact same story as damon from last year i was like please don't i mean i don't i don't i don't like amon at all but like do we really need to have another person hallucinating in harren hall for an entire season can we can we can we just like move this to doran or someplace else just

20:23Ronnie Karam: It's actually extremely obnoxious because I was thinking, wow, they're learning from last season because they put him in the same situation. But we're not having to sit there every episode and watch these long drawn out episodes of Damon hallucinating. Hopefully they'll condense it into just this one little thing and then he'll be out of there. So now that you say that, I'm worried that the rest of the season is going to be this. We don't need it again. We don't need your bleached little man crawling all over the place crying like the asshole finally finds feelings.

21:19Ronnie Karam: I know.

21:23Ben Mandelker: in the desert and dune it's like in harry potter they walked in the forest at one point there and we have um uh in the original game of thrones you had aria who spent a whole season in that um like the house of the faces and she like trained and learned and that was kind of cool i actually liked that more than i thought i would but i just kept on going on and on and on and on and like

21:43Ronnie Karam: last season well at least she got to like become real housewives for a minute you know what i mean It's like, and now you're Ramona Singer, you know? Now you're Margaret. She had that annoying rival who was like, get up and spa. But then he was kind of the Laris of that show, right? Didn't he kind of look like Laris? He was like, oh, really? I'm going to teach you about faces, little lady.

22:05Ben Mandelker: But he was cool because he could change his face around, and I really liked him. And he took her in, and he saved her, and he made her the badass that she became. So I always appreciated that. but I do like it's almost like it happened in one of the Star Wars where what's her face wound up like studying under Luke Skywalker for the entire movie I was like you're really spending the entire movie here like going on some sort of like training mission it just drives me nuts and I was like we're doing it again with Eamon I mean it's just it's it's enough yeah we don't need it it's enough

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24:30Ronnie Karam: Meanwhile, Alice is cracking up the character choices they give her. So now Alice is sitting there talking to him, and she's doing needlepoint. LOL. I love the thought of Alice just making a home sweet home sign while this guy's tripping out. I'm opening up an Etsy store.

24:52Ronnie Karam: Homo sweet hair in hall. That's what we say here. It just says butter. I can't believe it's not butter.

25:01Ben Mandelker: is what we say every single time our butter churner comes to us with a bucket of stuff

25:06Ronnie Karam: once again you missed the bucket takes forever to get onto a pillow but god have i got time am i right and it's like oh my god it's like you're dreaming shut up i've been through this before and he's like but she but she saw it she saw it she said i'm gonna die that i ruined everything.

25:24Ben Mandelker: He goes, mother. So then, um, it's like, oh, okay, just get yourself in therapy and be done with it. Don't you have a good analyst?

25:35Ronnie Karam: So then we go to King's Landing. Wait, what were we gonna say? I was gonna say, now we go back to King's Landing. There you go. Orwell, it's there. And he goes to Allison's quarters. Talk about repeating storylines. Here's Orwell with abortion tea for christ's sake i know but this time a little one of the one of the people

25:56Ben Mandelker: who works in the in in the in the place sees uh or a while and she's like so we know that's gonna be bad so or a while delivers the abortion tea and um basically he has to sort of talk his way in there too by the way and so he's like listen um here's your tea this is probably the last thing I can do for you because I'm under a lot of heat up there in the small council. So, yeah, thanks. But this is probably it. Which also means that he's probably going to get killed soon, by the way.

26:29Ronnie Karam: I thought he was going to die right now, right today. Right in this episode, right here.

26:34Ben Mandelker: Right here, right now. I was like, oh, wow. It's the old, like, well, I'm one day away from retirement and I'm a cop. Everything should be fine. I was like, no, no.

26:45Ronnie Karam: So he's like, yeah, there's a new queen. Sorry. so i have your abortion punch card is full okay there were three punches on this this is this is it we only have so much of this tea before people are like where's where's the abortion tea going

27:01Ben Mandelker: guys why is nobody logging this yeah seriously so um helena so allison's like okay um helena um open the hanger here comes a uh here comes the plane and she's like never did mont it she's like but you must because it could be a boy do you see Aegon's heir arrival to Joffrey to Rhaenyra herself she will kill it she will have no choice or if she does not she will take it from you Aemon still lives as far as we know take it take it take it take it if you have this child that

27:35Ronnie Karam: will only give the writers another option to have a bleached blonde boy wandering around harren hall having having crazy hallucinations in a few years time please don't do this

27:47Ben Mandelker: and the audience please there's already about four or five people who are vying for this

27:53Ronnie Karam: it's too much for america just take this make lives easier for all of us yeah why you know this is another one where i just need questions to be asked like whose baby is that because Aegon has been pretty burnt up for a while, right? I mean, I guess you would have to know how many months she's pregnant and all of that, but... Is it like a magic pregnancy? Hmm?

28:19Ben Mandelker: Is it like a magic pregnancy? I don't know. Everyone online is like, you have to remember that the timeline is actually much more compact than you realize. I'm like, mm-mm. I still don't know who... I don't know.

28:31Ronnie Karam: I don't know, because Aegon's already healed from his face being burnt off. and like all of his skin being on like his skin's already regrown and all of that i mean i would think it's been at least a few months right i would think so i would think so i i would like

28:49Ben Mandelker: i would like some answers please yeah i need some maybe it was the maybe it was the guy who tried to make moves on allison's in that first episode that they killed maybe i don't know but um remember the guy who basically tried to rape Allison? Maybe she did something to Elena.

29:11Ronnie Karam: Oh, God. Well, you would think she would say, but maybe not. I mean, I don't know. I mean, in the conversation about it, you know what I mean? Like, she's literally having a conversation right now. Like, she would say, well, it's not even his. But I guess, why would you say that either? I don't know. I'm just it's hard to figure out pregnancy timelines as someone who has never been pregnant, nor will ever be pregnant. I don't really get it, so I'm like, come on.

29:37Ben Mandelker: We can't figure out who it was in this castle, and part of me feels like it's some magical thing. It's a virgin pregnancy, but not virginal. Either way, Alicent is like, please take this tea, and Helena's like, well, guess what? Eamon's in Harrenhal, and And he burns, but without fire. And Austin's like, could you just tell me what's going on? Do you have to always be so poetic? Can you just say he's alive and he thinks this witch is his mother or something like that? It burns when he pees.

30:15Ronnie Karam: Okay, could you be more specific? Like, literally, his wiener is burning when he goes to the bat. He's got probably a yeast infection or like a urinary tract infection or something.

30:26Ben Mandelker: Could you be more specific, please? Mother, mother, I have a vision of Eamond. He's in Harrenhal. He has no butter. Okay, well, that's unfortunate for him, I suppose. The point is this.

30:39Ronnie Karam: I see a pillow. A pillow that says I can't believe it's not butter.

30:49Ben Mandelker: Mother, there's a vision. If you go on to Etsy, there's a new store that's offering beautiful pillows at a discount It's a launch discount Could you get me one, Mother?

31:00Ronnie Karam: No, Helena Don't be tricked Don't be tricked Because the shipping is$97

31:07Ben Mandelker: But you can get a bundle, Mother Please, please A pillow It's so dreary in here

31:13Ronnie Karam: So she's like, I've seen him He's at Harrenhal He burns without fire She's like, that doesn't even make sense Fires are fire So, you know Let's get back to this portion Okay? Because if you have, if Eamon threatens Rhaenyra's rule, she's going to use the child as her shield. Because look at her. She is so mean. Look at what she has done to us by giving us this huge, gorgeous room, staffs, dry cleaning, letting our children go, run off into the world in the first place without killing them like she should have. She's so mean.

31:46Ben Mandelker: She's so mean. Like, even when we had a fake child here, she still didn't kill it. She sent it off to the wall. Gosh, how cruel is she? So Helena's like, I can't. She's like, Helena, please, for your own sake, do you not wish to be free? She's like, I can't, I can't, no! So Alison's like, she's like forcing the tea on her. And she's like, think of it just, you know what, think of it just a cup of tea, nothing more. Just a simple cup of tea. She's like, mother, it's not a cup of tea. Why are you being such a lunatic right now? Stop it!

32:15Ronnie Karam: Yeah, so Alison's giving her the whole, like, listen, I've had to use this before. Or let's have real talk about this. I've had to use this. Ray Ray had to use this. There's no shame in it. Drink it. She's like, no, I don't want this fucking tea. And then she gets away from her. She flicks her away and gets away from her.

32:37Ben Mandelker: Allison's like, okay. So then we go through Ray Ray walking through the halls. And she's walking with Lady Sabatha Frey. Now, I think a few episodes ago, I confused the Freys with the Tullys. but it's all sorted out now in my brain and of course the phrase are the ones who ultimately committed the red wedding so um reyna i love committed the red wedding as a commit the i love how i just made the red wedding sound like like it's its own action i've committed red

33:07Ronnie Karam: wedding yeah well um they're also the ones who had the spin-off sabbath's salon takeover you You would never know it from this lady, but it's her. She's like, listen here, I don't like the way you're running things. You need better customer service. Definitely to start off. And it would also help if you were running a salon and your hair didn't look like a burnt french fry.

33:32Ben Mandelker: Lady Freya, how did she get such access to the queen? And she's just like pestering her as they walk around. She's like, and another thing, I don't like your shoes. They don't match your complexion. Think again about what you put on your feet if you're going to be a queen. And she's like, okay, okay, okay.

33:46Ronnie Karam: Yeah. So she comes in there bitching because Jace flew to have that meeting with them last season to get, you know, whatever passage through Freytown. And they were like, oh, really? You want to cross this bridge? Bet you better give us Harrenhal. And he's like, okay, sure. So she's like, excuse me, we were promised Harrenhal. And Ray's like, yeah, you were promised by my son and my son's dead now. So void. Okay. Your coupon is void. Your Harrenhal coupon is voided. And also, have you heard what's happened to Harrenhal? It's not like, yeah, it's not great right now, you know?

34:22Ben Mandelker: Yeah, seriously. And Lady Frey is like, and now I discover that you've pledged our castle as a trophy free to any hedge knight who can bring you the head of Aemond Targaryen. I mean, the irony is that that Ray Ray has offered Harrenhal to anyone who can find Aemond who's in Harrenhal. I mean, this place is the hottest piece of real estate that I think this entire series has ever seen. And literally, it's garbage.

34:46Ronnie Karam: It's garbage. It's burnt to a crisp. I mean, property values, though, right? Because even without the house, it's good land. Good bones. Yeah. And the ghosts make butter. Who wouldn't want it?

35:00Ben Mandelker: You could build around it and be a cool kind of new construction with some elements of what was there previously. So it could look very cute.

35:09Ronnie Karam: McMansion. Farmhouse modern. Five stories tall. Way too big for the lot. You guys can do it. Will there be a pot filler? That's all I need to know. Will there be a pot filler in the kitchen? Yeah, and Ray's like, well, if you want to win the contest of finding Eamon, why don't you go find Eamon? Stop bitching at me. She's like, excuse you! Quagen Stark's army has crossed the trident, and we want the crown's word to be on it, okay? No matter if some grubby sellsword has dubbed himself Lord of Heronol in the Meanwhile, everybody has named themselves the Lord of Harrenhal at some point. Are we even going to pour one out for the Strongs?

35:45Ronnie Karam: Jeez, poor guys.

35:48Ben Mandelker: Yeah, also goes to show how long and how far the feud between the Freys and the Starks have gone has lasted. Because look, she hates the Starks even back now, way before the Red Wedding. She's super anti-Stark. not a lot of stark presence in in uh in this show by the way and lannisters are also pretty pretty minor and they keep on mentioning branthians but the branthians are not so major going on here wow it's a long time ago yeah things things are about to change but yeah the

36:22Ronnie Karam: phrase keep getting screwed over because they were promised heron hall they're not getting heron hall and then in the future they were promised the hand of that stark kid and then he backed out of it. So then they did the red wedding thing. And the phrase is just, they never, it's like everyone has a problem with the phrase, but the phrase aren't realizing that maybe it's them. You know, maybe there's like some sugar that you could add to your voice or something.

36:47Ben Mandelker: The only problem with the phrase is that they're ugly. Like that's literally the only reason why they're maligned. And everyone just doesn't take them seriously because they're ugly. And it's like, oh, wow, the phrase have like ugly daughters. Oh, the phrase, like the Walter phrase is ugly. And then everyone's just like, they're like, stupid Freys. But the Freys, I think, have a totally legitimate claim. They've also got one of the coolest little spots in the area with that bridge. They basically control the Strait of Hormuz of Westeros. And I think that, like, I don't know. I just feel like the poor Freys are, again, like, I feel like we deserve – they got screwed over.

37:22Ben Mandelker: They keep getting screwed over. People keep welching on their bets with them.

37:26Ronnie Karam: well walder fray had more going on than just you know that he wasn't hot i mean wasn't he the one who had like all these child brides and then he kept insisting they have babies so he could go give the babies to the white walkers i mean that guy was terrible oh i forgot about that yeah well that was not nice yeah he was was that he gave the child brides the with white walkers yeah i mean i trust he gave the babies they had to keep giving babies to the white walkers so that he had all these brides to keep having babies.

37:57Ben Mandelker: I thought that was something that was happening. Oh, that's right. Walder was north. Didn't this happen north of the wall? Well, they would take them to the White Walkers. I'm going to trust you on this one. I remember that there were babies being given. I remember there were babies being given, but I thought it was happening from within. It was something happening within a settlement north of the wall. I just looked it up.

38:20Ronnie Karam: People who listen to this podcast must be so furious 90 % of the time. No, it's my bad. Walder Frey did not take any babies to the White Walkers. This is a common misconception. Well, at least it's common. The character who sacrificed babies was Craster, a wildling who lived in the haunted forest. I knew it was a wildling. Walder Frey was a human lord responsible for hosting the Red Wedding and betraying the Stark. Oh, so he just had a bunch of young wives. Man.

38:49Ben Mandelker: But remember. I'm an idiot.

38:50Ronnie Karam: Okay, I'm glad. Should we just cut all that out?

38:53Ben Mandelker: No, I like that. Are we going to make people fucking crazy? This is the process. This is what it's like watching Game of Thrones. But I was like, I seem to remember all that stuff happened north of the Wall. But Walter Frey, his whole thing was that he had a whole bunch of ugly brides, and it was like, oh no. Robb Stark is going to have to make the ultimate sacrifice, being a hot person, marrying an ugly person, so that way his army can pass through. And then eventually he's like, listen, I know as a hot person, I said I would marry one of your ugly ass daughters, but I actually found another hot person.

39:27Ben Mandelker: It just doesn't seem right to keep us apart. So I'm going to marry the hot person instead.

39:33Ronnie Karam: They're like, that's gross. You can't just marry for love. This is game of Thrones. He's like, I didn't say I'm marrying for love. I said I'm marrying for hotness. Do you understand?

39:42Ben Mandelker: I live in a very cold, dingy place. I just want something hot.

39:48Ronnie Karam: I want a hot lady. well i apologize to everybody for making you crazy it's great it's nuts how the mind can rework itself over the years i really remember that's the truth i thought the phrase were the

40:01Ben Mandelker: tollies because you know like there's a there's a bunch of these like grimy households like the phrase and the is it the boltons the boltons were the don't even don't even drag me into another

40:10Ronnie Karam: one don't do it i'm very easily i hear my alternate history on them too because i'll give you one

40:16Ben Mandelker: remember Zara Bolton, who I kept on calling Jess because I felt like she looked like a Jess more than a Zara. I still stand by that. She's still such a Jess. I'm mad that her name is Zara.

40:31Ronnie Karam: So anyway, Lady Frey's pissed. And then she goes, meanwhile, I'd be pleased, because finally Ray Ray's had it, and she turns around and gives her the look like, I might be crying or I might be furious right now. And she's like, okay, okay. Well, while we wait for the mansion, I would totally be glad to be on your council. Excuse you.

40:55Ben Mandelker: Excuse you, Lady Frey. But actually, I love her on the council. I think this was a great move. Because I love Lady Frey and Manderly just in the corner, just like kiki-ing while everyone else is complaining about, you know, triarchy and all sorts of other annoying stuff.

41:11Ronnie Karam: Yeah. So they're my favorites now. We go to the council meeting, and everyone's talking. They're like, business, business, business, business. I have war, war, war, business. Wind is town. And Manderly is like, oh, Lady Frey. Well, the sea snakes. That one's the sea snakes bastard. He's now a dragon rider. That's his brother. She's like, oh, really? Lord. Oh, she doesn't say anything yet. She's just, like, rolling her eyes. It was, like, disgusting. thing.

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43:18Ben Mandelker: Everyone else is talking about what to do with these things with, like, where's Eamon, etc., etc. And Rhaenyra's like, Lord Darius or Allah, Eamon may be provoking us. And Miseria's like, by sacking. are far more three to what end? It's like, Damon's like, Clarkas need to eat. And Mandelie's like, whatever. Okay, so that's the white worm she was called. She used to run the, she used to run prostitution place. Yeah, white worm. And that one -

43:47Ronnie Karam: Wait before he goes, the whore. And he's like, yeah. We don't use that word here. But yeah. Lady of the Night. Yeah.

43:58Ben Mandelker: That one's got bad credit over there. the one in the corner that guy over there bad credit okay he's always gonna make you buy lunch

44:05Ronnie Karam: just be careful oh god that one right there constantly posting on next door about every little thing oh your mail was late no oh let's all riot my right

44:19Ben Mandelker: so damon's like could you please stop talking while me a blonde person is trying to have a scene he's like there was a skirmish last night at the dragon gate horses were required to dispel it. If only the Lady Mazaria had been there with her promised bread and ladle foods of stew.

44:37Ronnie Karam: Or if by some miracle the King Consort City Watch had shown a penny's worth of restraint pursuing the pettiest of crimes. Yeah. Bickering back and forth. He's like, oh, yeah, why don't you feed some poor people? And she's like, why don't you be more one percenter about it?

44:57Ben Mandelker: yeah it's like he's pro police she's pro people and they have like this it's a dilemma of how to rule this city so ray ray's like did anyone see where vega flew it's only a gigantic dragon so baylor uh is there and she's like well we went with all speed to take up the trail but it was two days cold and once again aemon is nowhere to be found and daemon's like by the way um hello So two of the gold cloaks were found dead in the street this morning, put to blade by an unknown hand. Which, by the way, I thought these gold cloaks were supposed to be like a little bit more elite. And they are like, even when they're buddying up, they're all getting killed.

45:36Ronnie Karam: They need to have real badasses as the murderers of all the gold cloaks. Because just a couple of weeks ago, everybody was terrified of the gold cloaks. And now they're just snuck up on and disemboweled in two seconds. Very seemingly easily. So, yeah, we need to it better be some badass because the one we see later is like he's all feeble and, you know, yeah, did it for five cents or whatever, like one little piece, one little nickel. And we're supposed to believe that that's I mean, obviously, there's more. But even if there's more of that, I need them to be like Batman. You know, they need to be pretty intense for me to buy it.

46:18Ben Mandelker: Yeah, seriously. so um uh so there as apparently this happened in flea bottom uh which by the way they should really consider um renaming that neighborhood if they yeah they don't want so much murder happening let's like work on like neighborhood rejuvenation here a little bit yeah there's high

46:38Ronnie Karam: bottom like it'd be high it's like the high terrace from high bottom that would be cute

46:42Ben Mandelker: yeah why don't they call it why don't they call it um uh flea flea gables that that's that sounds nicer right i think probably the flea is the bad part not the bottom

47:00Ronnie Karam: i mean maybe or bottoms like they can never win they can call it um um arbor heights puppy bottom something cute you know winning bottom so uh anyway they're they're really upset about these

47:19Ben Mandelker: gold cloaks getting killed and uh but really all rey wants is to find eamon like she's just actually almost too focused on it because she's got to get her city in order and she's not paying

47:28Ronnie Karam: attention to it she just wants revenge you know which i mean her son was i get it but it's like she's got a city to run you know and she can't focus so she's like Vega appears while Ormond Hightower gathers into some hidden purpose am I crying I don't know are you crying am I crying who's crying and Damon's like oh Jesus Christ we don't need to worry about this you know we don't need to waste our sweat fretting over a fox gone to ground alright if you won't burn him then my army will root him out soon enough. Jesus Christ, can we just burn the fuck out of people when I ask you to the first time?

48:09Ronnie Karam: They went through all of this fake children running around trying to trick us. We should have just burned his ass. You know,

48:19Ben Mandelker: the people are gonna, they're gonna find some reason to hate Ray Ray anyway. She should have just burned Templeton at this point, quite frankly. And she should have burned Templeton but then fed everyone in King's Landing lots of food. And then it's like a good, you know, I'm just,

48:33Ronnie Karam: it's a mess. No, they should have burned them before they even went into Tumbleton, but instead, they were like, okay, well, we'll let you off lightly on this one, we'll just take the kid, okay? Yeah, okay.

48:45Ben Mandelker: Yeah, see, that's the problem. Anyway, Orwell has news that Kristen Cole has been ambushing the Rivermen, and Ray Ray's like, all right, well then, go back to the Riverlands, and if Eamon has shown himself once again, he may do so again. Take no risk, but ascertain his path, his purpose. So Adam's like, hey, so I have not slept in a while. And I believe that Osha says I need to have at least eight hours of sleep. It's just like my it's just the rules. But Baila's like, I'm good to go. I don't care. Empty stomach. Like, let me fly. I'll do it. I'll do it. Don't worry about me.

49:21Ronnie Karam: Yeah. And she's like, well, you guys need your rest. I'll send Damon. He does everything. And he's like, OK, once I've dealt with the gold cloaks, I don't know if you heard that the gold cloaks are being disemboweled. so you know maybe i can help people keep their stomachs inside i'm not gonna go and she's like excuse me i'm the boss yeah he's like whatever so he leaves and she follows him out and she's like what the hell bro you just told me after you had that whole season of having you know hallucinations with crazy pants butter obsessed lady at harren hall that you were going to finally accept me as your leader that means doing what i say okay yeah and he's like well you know you are the queen and

50:01Ben Mandelker: I act in your interest? She goes, well, my interest is Vhagar. He's like, well, mine too, but you know what? Aemon's afraid. He's fled once already, and we're not in any danger. I gotta deal with this gold cloak situation. And she's like, well, there's treachery somewhere, and I seek to uncover it. He's like, no, what you seek is revenge. And gods know I do not grudge you that, but revenge may wait. At this moment, there's disturbance in your city, and you yourself are its likely cause. Because by the way, also don't forget that Ulf kind of started this too because she Ulf was the one who's like, by the way, they're writing things on the wall because he was mad at her because she wouldn't like, she wouldn't relieve his friends of like their petty crimes and stuff.

50:42Ben Mandelker: So then he got mad. Call her a bitch. So he's like, guess what? The whole town is calling you a bitch. And then she sent the gold cloaks out there and the gold cloaks went nuts. And now and now and now of course there's this. Now people are gutting the gold cloaks. Ulf. This is Ulf's doing.

50:59Ronnie Karam: Yeah, but it's also like sicking police brutality um on your own population and then being like why is everybody so mad at me like hello maybe you shouldn't just like unleash the cops to go beat the shit out of your own population i mean listen yeah i love ray ray but this this team has got some issues too you know yeah like what's like housewives you can't is you're an idiot if you choose sides because you're always going to be proven wrong at some point you know yeah what happened to

51:30Ben Mandelker: like Ray Ray standing on that cart and handing out bread and, and, and food like that was, that was killing it. That was a great tactic. And she just stopped doing that. She should. I don't know. I think that like, uh, Missouri has the way forward and she's listened to Damon too much. And Damon doesn't know what he's talking about. He spent an entire year at Harren Hall. Okay. He like, he's not to be trusted anymore.

51:52Ronnie Karam: So, um, well, he's saying you need to get shit taken care of at home before you care about other places. but last but it's only because it involves his friends because last week he was like fuck home you need to get the hell out of here we need to go burn all these armies and stuff we've got the dragons but now he's switched over because it's his little friends yeah that are in trouble now you see yeah so elinda comes over good old elinda and uh she's like by the way your grace young prince joffrey has returned this damon just goes and walks away he sees her and he's just like, oh, Jesus, the nanny.

52:30Ben Mandelker: I'm not dealing with this. Bye. Stupid Alinda. And so it's like, Joffrey's here, and Ray Ray's like, um, yeah, I'll see him at some point. Like, whatever. I don't care. He's my son, but whatever. He was always the most boring.

52:45Ronnie Karam: She's like, I'm busy. Okay, I'm at work. Could you bother me during work hours, please? So then we go to Aegon and Larys walking around, and Aegon's just all pissed off, so he's leaving all those poor people behind, because he is sick of being treated like trash. He is a king. And he's like,

53:01Ben Mandelker: Aegon's heard that Vhagar's been sat at Wendishtown. Wendishtown, having a hot moment this week. And Larys is like, but that was two days ago. Who knows where she may be now? He's like, well, Harrenhal then. Someone there will know something. Everyone loves Harrenhal. It's the place to be. Aemon must have left a message or a sign. We can pick up his trail.

53:22Ronnie Karam: Yeah. And he's like, oh, for Christ's sake. No, you don't yell at me. I'm gonna get Aemon. That's all I care about. Eamon's mean to me, and I'm going to kill him, and that's all we're thinking about today. Larissa's like, oh, for fuck's sake. So he just keeps kind of hobbling behind him. And then we go to King's Landing, and we're back in Allison's room, and Miseria comes in. You know me, I think it is my privilege now to listen to the whispers of the Red Keep. And I know that you got abortion teeth, so just tell me all about it, you dummy. You think I'm not watching you? She's like, um, no, well, uh, yes, here it is.

54:03Ben Mandelker: Here's the moon tea. And, um, uh, yes, my daughter has been unwell, as you see. Look at her talking to caterpillars and such. She suffers terrible headaches. The maester was kind enough to attend to her. She's like, and yet the flask is full. She's like, well, um, so I took a lover out of Viserys. The queen herself knows the truth of it. I was careless to my ship. I was a big old slut. Slutty McSlutty's face. That's what they call me. You walk around these hallways and say, look at that slut queen, Alison. Oh, dear. Well, I guess I should no longer delay in taking care of my slutty situation, eh?

54:41Ronnie Karam: And then she drinks. I like when she's like, show me that medicine. She's like, oh, it's just cold medicine. I mean, what? It is just, oh, look at it. It's cold medicine. And she sniffs it and she's like, and her eyebrow raises. She's like, lady, I ran a whorehouse here for my entire adult life. You think I don't know what abortion tea smells like? It's like, oh, OK, well, it's me. It's me. It's pregnant. Look, I'm drinking it all right now. Oh, God. Why did I wait? This stuff is delicious.

55:09Ben Mandelker: You know what? It even tastes better without any food in my stomach. I love this is great. I don't have the sudden urge to run to the bathroom right now.

55:19Ronnie Karam: Yeah. She's like, don't you don't have to tell Ray Ray about this. right she's like and now i'm supposed to deceive the queen um she's like but i am a prisoner

55:30Ben Mandelker: as you were once if i'm not mistaken as you say so then in the prisoner bonding god you guys have really never watched the law and order she's like oh you know prisoners they're always truthful with

55:47Ronnie Karam: each other, am I right? Prisoners always have each other's back, am I right? Missy, Missy area? But I'm just upset

55:53Ben Mandelker: because Miseria, I feel like Allison does a really good job this episode of sowing seeds of doubt in Miseria, and like Ray Ray needs to listen to Miseria, because Miseria is the one who has always led Ray Ray to success, and Ray Ray is just now like Damon's back, and she's only paying attention to Damon, and I'm afraid that Miseria is gonna is gonna like flop, or flip-flop

56:17Ronnie Karam: and it's gonna it's gonna be bad it's gonna be really bad well she's a white worm you know and as we know the master of whispers is built into them to flip-flop and change sides when it suits them but yeah i mean you would hope for better i mean they had a whole makeout scene yeah and

56:33Ben Mandelker: there's that so um over in the riverlands uh kristin and gwayne are walking along and gwayne's asking Kristen if he's ever seen the high tower at Old Town and of course Kristen hasn't seen it because he just only hangs out at King's Landing and Wayne's like oh well Ormond and I had a game it was called Run the Tower you start at the base before dawn and aim to be the first one to see the sun rise from the beacon it was a pretty boring game actually it's just going up staircases

57:05Ronnie Karam: here's the point, Old Town is gorgeous, not only chain stores. We've also got the Gap. That is a chain store. Still, it is a gorgeous Gap. The Apple Store is unprecedented in Old Town. You would love it there. I can get you a gorgeous apartment with a corner view. We don't really have corners yet. It's mostly round things, but still, you'll get a view of the downtown water fountain. Let's quit this war. What do you say? He's like, we're going to die. We are going to fight every fucking person, because I got dumped a long time ago by someone who is now queen and I'm still very upset about it. My penis has heard about it.

57:47Ronnie Karam: We are going to murder some people. Do you understand me?

57:51Ben Mandelker: What about Aloe? Do you like that brand, Aloe? Great, great activewear. Think about it. We have a lot of things that's really coming up, Old Town. Hey, everyone. This is the end of part one of this recap. For part two, keep an eye on your podcast feed. It is coming up in just a moment. Thanks so much for listening. Catch you on the second half.

58:39Ronnie Karam: She don't miss no trick-a-less. Holly Nagila Weber. You'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones. It's no BS. We love Hugo ES. Jamie, she has no last naming. Sips some scotch with Jessica Trotch.

58:52Ben Mandelker: She's our favorite streamer, Caroline Peacock.

58:55Ronnie Karam: Kristen the Piston Anderson. She gets an A from us. It's Lindsay D. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy is Maisie McHenry. Come again? We're obsessed with Margaret O 'Halloran. Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the berg. Gather round for the lore of Michelle Moore.

59:15Ben Mandelker: This is Livin' with Michelle Vivian.

59:17Ronnie Karam: I love-a-ya, Olivia Williamson. She's the lady of the house. It's Rachel Sherouse.

59:23Ben Mandelker: She sure is swell.

59:24Ronnie Karam: It's Raquel. Yes, we canna. It's Sadana.

59:27Ben Mandelker: Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman. Let's share with Sharon Eldridge. Darn skippy.

59:33Ronnie Karam: It's tippy. And our super premium sponsors. She's VVIP, it's Amanda V

59:38Ben Mandelker: Somebody get us 10 cc's of Betsy MD

59:41Ronnie Karam: We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva Let's get real with Caitlin O 'Neill Put us on a stretcher, it's Charlotte Fletcher Don't get salty with Christine Pepper Can't have a meal without the Emily Sides

59:54Ben Mandelker: Who, what, why, where, and Gwen Pentland Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall We got our wish, it's Jen Plish My favorite Murdo, Karen McMurdo Let's get savage with Laura Wildman. In the study with a candlestick, it's Leslie Peacock. We're ride or die for Lisa Rider Baron. She's a whiz, it's Liz Sarthy. Always killin' it, it's Lola Alkalani. Roger that, it's Marlis Rogers.

1:00:19Ronnie Karam: The incredible edible Matthews sisters. She eases our woes, it's Melissa St. Rose. There's a chance of meatballs, it's Rebecca Cloud. She's our princess, it's Rebecca Prince. She's the queen bee, it's Sarah Lemke. We cannot tell a lie.

1:00:34Ben Mandelker: It's Sarah Tellefson. Shannon out of a can in Anthony. Please don't stop. It's Soli and Pop. Let's take off with Tam LaPlane. Strike a pose. It's Tori Rose.

1:00:45Ronnie Karam: She ain't no shrinking Violet Kuchar. We love you guys.

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1:01:59Ben Mandelker: Rizinkizumab RZA SkyRizzy is a prescription-only injection for adults who are candidates for systemic or phototherapy. At four months, most people saw 90 % clearer skin when measured from head to toe, and many were even 100 % plaque-free. People also saw significant improvement in psoriasis symptoms of pain, redness, itching, and burning. Don't use if allergic to SkyRizzy.

1:02:20Ronnie Karam: Serious allergic reactions, increased infections, or lower ability to fight them may occur. Before treatment, get checked for infections and tuberculosis. Tell your doctor about any flu-like symptoms or vaccines.

1:02:30Ben Mandelker: Now there's nothing on my skin, thanks to SkyRizzy. And that means everything. Ask your doctor about SkyRizzy, the number one dermatologist prescribed biologic and psoriasis. Visit SkyRizzy.com or call 1-866-SKYRizzy to learn more.