#3585 The Golden Life S1E1 Part One: Qualm Royale

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1:20Ben Mandelker: Okay, you guys, I love a friendship where you can just sit down, talk about literally anything, and somehow end up revealing way more than you plan to. And that's basically don't lie to me. It's Lisa and Lexi, two women at very different stages of life who have this unexpected age gap friendship that somehow works perfectly. Lisa's in her 50s, glamorous, completely unfiltered, and has the stories and hot takes to prove it. Lexi is 30, runs her own shoe brand, and brings her own take on the beautiful disaster that is modern life. They get into everything. Dating, divorce, beauty maintenance, emotional survival, men's hygiene, you know, the important stuff.

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2:18What's up, Ben?

2:19Ben Mandelker: Who cares what happens when there's so much that crappens? What's up, Ben? What's up, Ben? What's up, Ben? Who cares what happens when there's so much that crappens? Well, hello and welcome to What's What Crappens, a podcast for all the crap we love to talk about on Bravo. And today, E! Entertainment. I'm Ronnie and that's Ben over there. Hello, Ben. hi how are you good um welcome everybody to the show before we get started our in the mix tour is on we have been traveling and having a great time we are starting again november 5th we're going to be going to your city very soon philadelphia washington and dallas and austin houston all in November.

3:13And then we're going to Florida, Clearwater, and Fort Lauderdale. We'll be in San Francisco, Salt Lake City, Denver, Charleston, Atlanta, Seattle, Vancouver, Portland, Toronto, Boston. And we finish with the Golden Crappies in New York City on Broadway on February 25th. So go grab your tickets for that and we will see you guys over there. I'm so excited. Anxiety. Today we have the golden life, the kind of reboot. So this would be the fourth reboot. Fourth reboot? How many? It's a New York reboot, then the recast, then this kind of soft reboot they're doing. So this would be the fourth. Except this one is on E!

4:08Entertainment.

4:09Ben Mandelker: well because when ronnie when everything went down with ronnie then bravo said they were going to have a new cast but then create like ronnie legacy and then i think the rumor was and correct me if i'm wrong the rumor was that jill zarin was um creating some sort of like demands about how much you want to get paid that wound up kind of destroying the entire ronnie legacy on bravo was that what the rumor was ronnie that's what it was yes and then fell apart because they couldn't get jill to a Jill was trying to get as much as everybody else. She wanted to go in with like a friends type deal, like the TV show Friends, where they were like, we're all going to get a million dollars an episode or whatever.

4:49And they were like, no. And it fell through. That's a rumor. I mean, I don't know. I don't know if it's true. That was the rumor.

4:55Ben Mandelker: And then they make The Golden Life with Jill Zarin. And then she promptly gets kicked off The Golden Life right before they start filming because of Bad Bunny. Not because of Bad Bunny, because of her stupid comments about Bad Bunny. so the irony is that she wasn't even part of the reboot anyway but but nevertheless here we are at the end of this long and winding road and the golden life is here on e um my concerns going into this is like well this isn't shows on e have a different vibe than shows on bravo are they going to be able to um keep it up to the standards that we bravo viewers enjoy and i feel like mostly yes I feel like it was, to me, it was like, I thought it was like, the chemistry of this cast is undeniable.

5:43Ben Mandelker: And they just, no matter what, they can't help when they're around each other. They can't help just being this crazy group of women that we watched for so many years. And I feel like the show was like a little creaky. but I feel like by the end of this supersized episode, it kind of like got into its groove, but I was definitely enjoying it. What did you think? I was a little worried at the beginning because they're on a new network, so they kind of have to explain who they are to people, I guess. So a big chunk of the beginning was like, they call this the golden life. And they're kind of reading off their cue cards and just being like, I've been coming to Palm Springs for a year.

6:30Hi, I'm Luann. And it was like, hi, I'm Ramona, hi. And it just kind of went on and on. And I thought, oh no. Oh no, I hope this doesn't suck. But then once they got into it, they got into it. And they haven't seen each other for a long time. They don't all hang out together and stuff. So this was really like, let's get the band back together. and they got back together and at first they were a little like oh god now what do we fight about but man they were right back into it by the like probably the second half until the end i was cracking up the whole time i was like wow they've still got it i 100 agree with that it's sort of

7:13Ben Mandelker: you really can tell when people who know each other and have a long history with each other and have been at different times very close with each other. When they interact, there is just a different way that they talk to each other, address each other. Like they get mad at each other because they get on each other's nerves. It's not because someone like a Whitney Rose concocts some sort of piece of gossip and then they have to react to it. It's like, Ramona, you're being rude to my assistant right now. And I'm now really annoyed at you because you're doing that. it's like it's like authentic annoyances in a way that i find to be exhilarating um but i'm with you it was like it sort of took a while for the gears to crank up to speed and like the scene like repeatedly scenes felt like they went on a little too long where i was like why are we still sitting here in ramona's apartment you know it's going it's sort of it felt like they were doing a little bit of like bad improv at times you know but once they started to really get annoyed with each other the show the show certainly came to life and fighting about the same things from years and years ago it's like well but then at the same time that is kind of life where it's like you pissed me off you did this thing to me five years ago yeah and we haven't really spoken since and i'm still pissed and that's it and if you want to talk about our relationship this is why now a couple negative things i don't know that we need kelly benson honestly i don't i don't know what Kelly really adds.

8:45And also, I'm really worried for Sonia. Now, this is nothing new because anybody who's watched this show has been worried for Sonia. I mean, Sonia is a disaster. And God bless Sonia for even still being around and active because she has like a very tragic way about her. She could have been a headline a while back. And she's still out there, still on TV being hilarious but worrisome. I agree.

9:14Ben Mandelker: I think it's actually sad. Every time that there was a Roni season that focused on Sonya's decline, it was always sad. And the famous John John and Madonna and all that, she was always sort of sad. But there's some seasons where she's beyond reason. And it kind of feels like there's no turning back for her. It feels like the, she's never been able to grapple with the second half of her life and like things that fell apart, like the, the divorce, the debt, everything, everything that Dorinda says later in the episode that we'll get to where she's like, you know, when you get older, there are these things that are like really hard for us women, you know, and you see it taking a toll on Sonia.

10:02Ben Mandelker: and like part of me thinks that she is like a bit of a performer and so it's in the group scenes where she gets really crazy and then like in her interview she's like a little bit more calm and composed so but yeah it's really what's wild is that Luann on Girls Trip we just finished Girls Trip two weeks ago and Luann is like the self-centered like diva extraordinaire who's totally beyond reason only talks about herself can't even hear what people are saying and then we pivot into this show and Luann's like the voice of reason Luann and Dorinda are like the the people like this is crazy right it's just wild well yeah in the first episode but they'll all take their turns one thing these good ladies these things these ladies are really good at is taking their turns you know so um we after all the you know that's what we're doing we're in Florida we get Luann coming to the airport and she's like oh wow I mean since you know I've been touring since filming is finished my cabaret i mean it's around the world it's around the world it's huge it's huge you know back in i i've been coming to palm palm beach forever as you might remember from my very popular selling t-shirt um i have a mugshot and it's from here so i've been here in a little while but i'm used to palm beach being called the gay 90s because everyone's gay and everyone's 90.

11:22All right.

11:24Ben Mandelker: Back in the day, it's true. So Luanne's going to Ramona's with Roger, her chief of staff, which I don't know why it's so funny that Roger's title is chief of staff. I mean, it really makes it sound like it's the West Wing and it's just like, you know, like a little gaggle of gays, like social media gay Roger, who's, I don't want to like reduce him down to assistant, but he's basically like taking, he's coordinating everything for Luanne. And then like, there's a boyfriend in the mix, but it's like the chief of staff. So Luann, by the way, Roger is a bit of an unsung hero. Roger is like, I don't know how he's going to survive this show.

11:59Ben Mandelker: We see Sonya break a glass in his arm. Ramona is viciously mean to him in a way that I was like, I was like, oh God, I forget. You just forget how, how awful Ramona can be. And if I said that I was sitting there appalled and not laughing, that's a lie i was cracking the fuck up i was howling with laughter absolutely horrible human being and you know who knows this very well roger roger knows you know roger knows you know luann talks about how much she loves her gays you know there is a special bond between gays and real housewives there just is and seeing rod you know her gaggle of gays and especially roger I was dying because of course Lou has this yes gay and he is and I don't mean like yes gay I mean he's just a yes gay you know she's like well you know Roger so you remember this thing yes I think you remember when we came off the plane yes I think you remember like Ramona I mean look at this look at this tiktok I mean can you believe it's all the goodness dress yes wow great that's his job he's the chief of yes you know I'm like yes yes yes but the best part is that he fucking hates ramona we can see by the end of the episode he's like he hates ramona and deservedly so deservedly so yeah she's so mean and he's loving i've been coming here i like that they made the gays like characters on this show you know yeah yeah it's it's it is like very funny so louanne's talking about how she's been coming to palm springs for 35 years palm beach and then of course i got married here and here i am again like what the fuck am i doing that's the question why am i here when I am the most iconic person of all of Palm Beach.

13:46Ben Mandelker: Why am I even here again? Thank you. You're welcome. Your icon is here. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappens commercial.

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15:11I needed a new couch for my house, and I needed it to look really, really sleek and mid-century modern. I wanted it to be leather, and I wanted it to be a pull-out couch. That's actually a lot to ask for. And of course, I found the perfect thing at Wayfair. It's the Bismarck 82-inch full-grain genuine Italian leather sleeper. I've had so many guests stay in that guest room that I also use as a man cave and they love it. They say it's very comfortable and it's a gorgeous to look at.

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16:25The service is great there, and that's why I use Wayfair all the time.

16:28Ben Mandelker: Find pieces made for real life and get more value with Wayfair Rewards. Join Wayfair Rewards today and get 5 % back on every purchase. Head to Wayfair.com to shop all things home. That's W-A-Y-F-A-I-R.com. Wayfair, every style, every home. I'm sick of things stressing me out. The other day I was running late and nearly ran over an armadillo. I felt so bad. I'll tell you about stress. Imagine performing a cabaret 10 times a week. Or learning a 17th language like French Peruvian. This is why I watch so much TV And Amazon Prime definitely comes in handy It's a great way to shift your mood Yeah, but everyone's always like Recommending a million shows Like you gotta watch this, you gotta watch that I'm at a point where I don't say What do I have to watch Now I'm all about how do I want to feel Yeah, the feeling I chase is dark and moody That's why I go towards crime shows Oh, I'm a comedy girly I will re-watch the same comedy over and over again Because it's so comforting to me Or actually, sometimes it's actually sports.

17:30Ben Mandelker: There are times where I don't even care about the teams. I just like being part of a live event, especially with some snacks. Snacks are a part of the feeling. I love a cracker. So here's where I'm all about Prime. You can have your shows, your movies, your sports, but you also get fast shipping on the things we like to have when we watch stuff, like the perfect snack, conveniently delivered right to your door for a recap-worthy watch session. That's how Prime gives us the power to just not find the feeling we crave, but also to let us experience it to the fullest. I'm having 30 to 40 positive feelings.

18:02Wow. Shows you can't wait for, deliveries you don't wait for. From streaming to fast shipping, it's on Prime. Then we go to Sonia, who's driving around Palm Beach and the camera's right in her face in the passenger seat and just getting close up, Sonia being Sonia, like, well, it's me, Sonia, driving in a car. Wow, that's crazy. Oh, why are you honking at me? This is nuts. What is the sun out? Why is it so sunny in here? you've got the convertible down well that's something where's the air conditioning in this

18:31Ben Mandelker: sunny is just a fucking mess she is a mess she's driving around with a hat that looks like a wedding cake and she's like no i'd love to party you know you know this is you know it's it's so hard you know it's hard in palm beach you know all the driving and the flying and the things and the flights and this and that everyone needs something everyone loves to party so that's why i quit drinking as you will see in this episode that i'm definitely sober this entire episode i quit drinking you know because i just love to party you know i'm this draw that serves the drink you know, I don't stir the pot.

18:56Ben Mandelker: I stir the drink that I don't drink anymore. I'm just stirring something for someone else. That's what I am. I'm Sonia Rita. And Luann might have told you that she's on tour, but I'm also on tour. I'm Sonia. You can come see Sonia. Sonia in your city now. You know, it's exhausting, but I do it. And she talks about how she lost all this money on the show. She was down 13 million. And it's very Sonia. She says, I walked out of court owing 13 million. By the time I finished with chapter 11, it cost me 17 million. But how did it cost you all that money if there was a bankruptcy? Well, chapter 11 is the one you have to pay stuff back.

19:35Where did you get all that money? How much money was there? Morgan.

19:39Ben Mandelker: Morgan. Morgan money. It's in the Morgan letters. We then cut to Kelly Ben Simone, and she's on the beach trying to be whimsical. She's trying to do cartwheels, but she's just sort of like putting her hands in the sand and then just like rotating her body and flopping down. She's like, doing sand angels because she keeps falling. She's trying to do a cartwheel, but she can't. So then she plays it off. She's like, oh, I'm just making sand angels. My girls are all grown up. They're on their own. So now I'm on my own, getting bullied systematically. And I just moved out of New York less than a week ago.

20:09Ben Mandelker: And I'm here. And I'm just like ready for sun and fun and like some chic vibes. And she like starts flopping around on the sand some more. And then we have Dorinda. And now Dorinda has to explain to us, like Dorinda was plugged into the show like last second and so now she has to do this spiel of like well I'm in Blue Star Manor and I love Blue Star Manor but it gets cold up in Massachusetts and I like warm, I like sun so I'm coming down to Palm Springs, Palm Beach to see if this is a place that I might want to live in for some reason. I'm like okay just say they needed you for the show so you flew down here.

20:43Well yeah that's what that's what Kelly's doing too. Kelly's like yeah i just like i'm like here because like i just came here last week because you know i sold 50 million dollars worth of real estate in like one week in new york so why wouldn't i move

20:58Ben Mandelker: away it's totally natural yeah so now we have ramona she says you know what in 2022 i stopped filming and that was the year i brought i bought a place in palm beach because ramona now has this very kind of like a modest apartment for for ramona it's a very nice it's a very nice apartment but compared to like Ramona's Upper East Side Life, it's sort of more modest. She's like, you know what? So I live here. You know what? There's a lot of fundraisers, a lot of charities, just very social here, okay? Like I like to go to things. That's why I like to go to places that end with the words like, I'll go, because I like to go to those places.

21:34Ben Mandelker: So then like, I think I look healthier and happier and calmer. I think there's nothing not to love. It's pristine. It's beautiful. It's lifestyle, okay? Wow, you know what? You might remember, in 2022, I almost single-handedly got this entire show cancelled and myself cancelled. But guess what? You can't kill me. I'm back, guys. Whoa, Luanne, welcome to my apartment. Welcome to the Golden Life, baby. I'm like, you don't have to announce the title of the show. Whoa, welcome to the Golden Life on E, Luanne. Out with the old, in with the new. Okay? Am I black appropriate? I'm wearing black. Is that okay?

22:19Am I black appropriate? This is real housewives New York. We don't, you know, we don't have to be appropriate. Okay? But you shouldn't be wearing black in Palm Beach. It's not what you do. You wear colors like this. Look at me. I'm in colors.

22:34Ben Mandelker: You know what? Palm Beach has a different dress code than any other place I've ever been to. People wear a lot of dresses here. Okay? this is crazy they wear dresses in palm beach you know it's a lot of colors but no one wears black like no okay no black no god yo you can't wear black nobody wears black in palm beach girl palm beach was my playground way before it was over your playground so now we're already getting that i've been in palm beach longer than you i'm palm beach history yeah so now here comes sonia and she's like, geez, I have to bust down the door just to get in here. Okay. Oh, wow.

23:13Ben Mandelker: All the hoes are in the house. What's going on, everyone? Look, you look like a teenager, Ramona. Wow. Look at you. Oh, hi, everyone. What's going on? Hi, girls. She's like very much like da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. And Luanne's just staring at her as she jumps around and screams with Ramona. And she's like, well, oh, Lou's here. Lou's here. Hi, Lou. She's like, I was wondering when you were going to dress me. Whoa. Whoa. which becomes a big thing with Luanne and Sonya in this episode. What do you think I was here? Did you even see I was here? I'm standing here. I'm a pretty big star.

23:48Well, there is like this fascinating frenemyship with Luanne and Sonya.

23:54Ben Mandelker: I feel like Luanne constantly wants something from Sonya. And I think that there's something about Luanne. There's probably many things about Luanne that Sonya doesn't like, but she doesn't really say it. So what happens is she just sort of kind of quiet quits Luann at times. Cause this is like a thing that has happened multiple times in the past. And, and Luann picks up on it and she gets really upset when it happens. I kind of feel like Luann feels like she probably tries to take care of Sonya and Sonya's unappreciative. I mean, it's so complicated, which is why I love this cast. They have a very complicated and complex relationship with each other.

24:30Ben Mandelker: And so this is one of those seasons where Luann's like, Oh, okay. So you'll walk in and you'll hug Ramona when there's a cabaret star right here. You're just going to ignore like a potted plant. Well, that was the storyline on New York all the time is that Sonia will only be with them when they're shooting. And when they're not shooting, she won't text anybody. She's not really friends with anybody. But then she comes in. It's like, oh, my God. So good to see you girls. And so we've seen this already nine million times. But now it's been, what, five years or something, she said. Since the girls' trip, yeah.

25:05Yeah. Well, no, not since the girls' trip. No, Ramona stopped shooting in 2022. But then the girls' trip, some of them say two years. Well, we saw it. It's not like it's debatable when it was. But listening to Sonia, she's like, oh, yeah, I quit drinking right after girls' trip. Uh-huh. Two years ago. Six months ago. Three months ago. Four months ago. July of 1980. You know, she's just so off in her own world. She has me questioning my own timeline. Yeah.

25:40Ben Mandelker: And of course, by the way, the answer to that is that she never quit drinking because there's, I'm sorry, I do not believe that this woman is sober. So, yeah, Sonia is talking about like how, you know, we're all together in Palm Beach and like not just for a weekend, for two months. And here we are in Ramona Singer's beautiful apartment. I mean, it's obviously meant to be. It's called Kismet, you know? So she's like, well, it's nice to see you, Sonia Rita. I've missed you. You never call and check in. And she's like, well, God, here we go again. Ramona, she's doing this again. Whoa, she only checks in when we start filming.

26:09Ben Mandelker: You know that, Luanne. Why are you even bringing it up? Oh, right, right. I forgot about that. She's a self-centered bitch. I don't even leave my apartment, Luanne. Like, come on, Lu. Give me a break. She's like, yeah. Well, what kind of friend are you? I mean, and Ramona lives here. You don't even see Ramona. What's going on with that? She's like, well, I mean, I just don't want to bother her. I don't really like to go out. She's a recluse. Okay. She's a recluse. Did you say it? She's a reggae-cluse. That's it. Reggae-cluse. She sits at home and she listens to reggae. You know what? And she's like, yeah, I'm like a recluse.

26:45Ben Mandelker: Yeah, I don't like socializing. You know, and Ramona, she goes out with like 10 to 12 people at a time. Well, you know what, sweetheart? I go to a lot of charity events. I go to a lot of lunches. I go to tennis. I go to golf. It's a lot of work. I go to a lot of fundraisers. That's Ramona's thing is announcing that she's always going to fundraisers all the time. What a charitable person. I mean, that's what people think of when they see Ramona. They just see giving and charity. You know what? I am raising money for my daughter to get more skincare. Because guess what? She looks old. I look young.

27:17She looks old. I look young. Cindy's like, that's too much going out for me. I'll just do it if I'm horny. I'm not going to go out and see people. Plus, I've been busy taking care of myself. Look at me. I have a couple of other guys in the wings You know, some guys Oh, really? Well, who's the guy? Well, this guy He's from Connecticut You know, he has a place down here He's very good looking I don't even know what to do with them You know, I'm used to blind guys I'm used to him being blind I have to, like, put makeup all over my body And then I get makeup everywhere All over the couches and stuff Because he can actually see

27:54Ben Mandelker: It's like, what do you mean you get makeup all over? Well, because he's so good looking I mean, look, he's from Connecticut and like you can see most of my you know most of my guys they're just they can't see anything oh well if sonia's a recluse or recluse then how are you gonna meet a man which is the most important thing in the entire world meeting a man so you know it's very hard to watch to catch a fish if you're not throwing your line into the water or furthermore if you're not singing great music to the fish in the first place oh all right girls well here's the thing we've got the yacht okay we got the yacht we got the yacht yeah like the line on our show so good we're gonna do cocktails white bites whatever everything come i'm gonna first party on a yacht you know everybody knows that i do love a yacht i do and so what better way to kick off this whole trip than have a party on a yacht we got the yacht remember remember that time when i said we got the yacht well guess what hold wait for it we got the yacht ha well i'm just coming for the caviar okay I'm coming for you girls.

28:57Just coming for the camera. We'll bring your date. You bring your date. You want to bring somebody, Ramona? Right? I don't know. I don't know. Well, you do have a boyfriend. You do have a boyfriend now, right, Lou? She's like, oh, yeah. You know, it doesn't mean I can't flirt. That's for sure. You know me? I met Michael in 2024. Anyone who watched Ultimate Girls Trip has already seen this hot guy. He's hot as hell.

29:24Ben Mandelker: He is hot. and she talks about how like she's like they're monogamous and she goes uh by the way um i'm gonna wear this that of this thing that i'm wearing it's a bodysuit it's an old donna karen bodysuit so i was like oh it looks so good no broad no underwear i mean it's not like you look unfuckable oh oh yeah that's right i look fuckable and that's good believe me because to remember dorinda she remembers that you called her unfuckable that's right everyone here's our storyline for today you call dorinda unfuckable but she is unfuckable it's like oh god god come on it's not true so sonia tells this story that she does these you know huge sold out sonia in the city shows and she's like it's an improv it's a comedy and you're supposed to be funny and they said fuck marry kill ramona lure dorinda and i said oh dorinda she's unfuckable it's like oh god well I just, you know what?

30:23I want to say one more thing about Dorinda. Dorinda. She cut me out of filming and it cost me hundreds of thousands of dollars. I'm very upset.

30:32Ben Mandelker: Sonia, you said you were going to give that up. By the way, it's so funny. Going back to the voice of reason kind of thing and how everyone's going to have their turn. You're so right because in this scene, Ramona's just sort of sitting there quietly watching Sonia, just sort of like taking it in. Like, what do I have to do here? How do I have to keep her under control? she's like watching sonia watching luann so like ramona is actually the voice of reason she's like the chill one in the scene it's always weird when ramona's in that position but ramona's like she ramona's sort of looking at sonia like i have to check this woman into a hospital soon i think you know and sonia's like okay well you know what she has and she cut me out of filming she's like you're not gonna bring that up you're not gonna do that we talked about this that's not gonna be on the show okay give it up give it up oh it's just so mad that you're in it didn't invite her to bluestone manor god what was that what geez 80 years ago sonia's like well we filmed a show over 10 years ago and there was a trip planned for the whole cast to go to the berkshires and i just wasn't invited so we get paid by the episode and i lost episode so basically she took money out of my hands and out of my daughter's mouth okay well your daughter's a billionaire i think so.

31:46Your daughter will be fine.

31:47Ben Mandelker: Your daughter's now, she's not four years old. She's like, she's like a full on legal adult. I think really the true story here is not like, oh, you took money out of my, out of my hands, which is, that is obviously a thing. But I think it's like, it was such an iconic series of episodes and Sonya didn't get to be part of it. And she's like, you kept me away from like this thing. And now everyone always talks about the Berkshires and I wasn't there for that big episode. And I felt really left out. I'm really hurt by that. It was also taking money out, and that was really shitty back then, because Sonya didn't really even do anything to Dorinda.

32:22Dorinda was just like, oh, yeah, you know when I call us on the half time? I don't even remember what the fight is, but I remember being like, damn. She's really being harsh.

32:31Ben Mandelker: Well, because Sonya was, I think, if I remember correctly, Sonya was a mess that season. But it was also, I think, it was tied into the tipsy girl thing, because this was the same season that Bethany is like, you know what, you had to cheat a brand. You know, you come in here, you come up with something, you try to rip me off and like, you know what, you're not, this is not real. And Bethany was so furious at Sonya for doing this. And if I remember, I'm very hazy. I could be pulling together things from different seasons. It was like, who does Sonya think she is? And Dorinda's excuse was, you know what, Sonya has been a bit of a mess.

33:03And I think it's probably for Sonya's best interest that she just stays back in New York and chills out. I don't remember it being sweet like that.

33:12Ben Mandelker: well that's how Dorinda phrased it I'm not saying that it was coming from a sweet place but it was like I think they took Bethany's side I'm saying that to Dorinda I don't think it was very nice and Sonia's always a mess and who are these ladies to call anybody a mess also maybe a little protective of Sonia sometimes because she is such a mess so you want to be protective but then by the end of the episode I'm like oh my god I would never hang out with this person ever keep her away from me so I don't know So it's amazing how many gifts and emotions they can evoke. Dorinda did not invite Sonia, pretending that she was out of concern.

33:51Ben Mandelker: It was because of the tipsy girl thing. I just looked it up. And it was because of the tipsy girl conflict. She did sort of take Bethany's side. And she did not invite Sonia because she knew that Bethany would destroy her. That's what she claimed. So she claimed it was for Sonia's own good to keep her out of the way of Bethany. jeez um yeah i'll always always reward the mean bully with the invitation not the person right exactly you know what i'm just gonna keep the person who's getting bullied out of the way yeah i don't want to get hurt you know the show has so much little these women have so much lore between them so i'm not gonna i'm not gonna let freeways on the car i'm not gonna let i'm not got run over on a freeway one time.

34:40I was like, uh, what?

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36:33Ben Mandelker: I've got big news. I switched to Verizon and got the new iPhone 18 Pro. Shh. I can keep my old phone. And I also get the latest iPhone every year. Shh. Anything else? Verizon let me choose Apple Watch Series 12 or iPad on them. Everybody listen up. Shh. Switch to Verizon and get the new iPhone 18 Pro now. No trade in needed. And the latest iPhone every year with Simplicity Plan. Plus, choose Apple Watch Series 12 or iPad on us. Simplicity Plan with Simplicity Pro required. Plan and device payment. Purchase are separate agreements with separate terms. Service plan for watch or iPad required. edition terms apply for all offers so sonia's like let's just keep her away from the booze because who gets drunker than dorinda and gets obnoxious i don't do that i don't do that right ladies and she's like oh really really you know what let it go let it go so now uh some of the ladies go to lunch um and kelly has brought her dog tarzan and luan's like oh wow look at your fat dog this is a big fat dog i can't even pick up this dog i don't even pick up this thing and she's like uh just put your arms around and pick pick it up wow look fat dog skinny singer am i right girls am i right i'm like luann stop shaming this dog that's luann you know she's been fat shaming people for years years remember the episode when they were talking to little kids and she's like what's your dream little girl well it's back when she talked like this she's like what's your dream little girl she's like to be a model she's like well you can always lose the weight you have time and she's doing that now with tarzan and by the way she did not she didn't say like just pick him up you know she said there's a handle on the dog and the dog has this collar with a freaking handle on it and the dog is not built for this um no kind of thing it's you know it's like the dog's under the arms yanking up the dog.

38:29I was very offended for Tarzan. I did not like how Tarzan was being treated. By the handle or by the fat shamer.

38:37Ben Mandelker: Tarzan had a rough go of it. So then Dorinda's there and she's like, well soon I think Sonia's always late, per usual. And so Kelly's asking how it was to see them and Luanne's like, well Ramona's doing great. She loves her apartment. Beautiful apartment by the way. beautiful as beautiful as a shoebox can be she's very happy and you know sonia says i don't go out she's a hermit you know she just stays in like ramona doesn't see her she lives a block away it's crazy let's all hate sonia shall we yeah and um we see a flashback to sonia telling them oh i haven't had a drink since july you know i'm not going to specify which july what month even is it right now.

39:20It's July, right? Well, the only thing that I find very tricky when you first have sex with someone it's like, oh my god, how am I going to do this without a little drink, right? Right, girls?

39:30Ben Mandelker: Well, you know what? Maybe don't have sex so fast, you won't feel okay about it, okay? She just comes in with a quick slut shame. So then Luanne's like, well, you know, she was talking about all kinds of things, like she's dating someone, there's this one who's really handsome, he's got hair, he's got all his fingers, from New England, apparently. Well, where is she going to meet somebody if she doesn't even leave the house? Well, I don't know. I'm supposed to know. What is the problem? I don't know if I believe these things. You know, I don't even think they'll track for me. They just usually don't track.

40:04They're not things that track. You know, things that don't track aren't tracking.

40:08Ben Mandelker: Kelly's like, but you know what? She's a nice, nice human. And Dorinda's like, well, she's meaty badass. Yeah, that's right. she's been talking smack about us and her shows she's like talking smack okay well get it buckle up for this one so i'm with sonja i'm sorry i'm with sonja and i find out that she has a show in new york so i said i want to come and she goes no no no you can't come you can't come i'm like well why she goes well because it's sold out so i go online because this bitch isn't selling out of theater if i'm not selling out of theater and guess what it's not sold out there's not even a poster i've heard down in miami so i get tickets and i go incognito the way michael jackson would because I want to see her show.

40:46Ben Mandelker: And then she shows a picture of herself in a blonde wig and glasses. No one could even recognize me. I wasn't even wearing a statement necklace. She looked insane in this picture. It's so funny. I'm unrecognizable. No one's asking for my autograph. That was a nice relief. And then she starts talking shit about me and Dorinda, and it breaks my heart. I mean, if you're my friend, Are you going to really start talking about me? Yeah, to go on a stage with strangers And say such defaming and untrue things It's just so odd So disheartening Like she said I mean, very, very defaming Very, very defaming So, you know, I just called her up And I said, you do it again, I'll sue you Anyway, can you pass the butter, please?

41:34Ben Mandelker: Kelly's like, yeah, that's not cool That's defamation That's systematic legal bullying It's just not cool And I said the same thing you know she's always doing it

41:48Ben Mandelker: it is actually quite fun to do it you do it kelly stop stop saying it that way i'm sick of it so sonia comes in she's like hi girls it's me sonia oh god you're only 18 hours late sonia geez well when was the last time i even saw you kellyst barth oh i quit drinking into July right after that. Yeah, I just quit drinking. I haven't been drinking at all. I don't drink. Do you guys have cocktails here? I don't drink. I don't drink. I haven't drank at all. What has it been? Five minutes? Five years. Yeah. You remember when I went to Canyon Ranch? I think I've got an eyelash up my nose. I have an eyelash.

42:28Ben Mandelker: Can you look? Something happened. Is this a bug? What's going on here? It's a little hot in here. I love the chandeliers. Look at that flower. You know I love flowers. I've always loved flowers. My new boyfriend, he actually builds flowers. They're not real flowers. They're fake flowers. He gets them up in Rhode Island. It's lovely. And Luanne's just like, well, I guess we're just going to sit here while she brattles on. We've waited long enough for her. Because Dorinda's like, okay, I'm ready to go now. Yeah, we waited long enough for her. So she shows up, doesn't even want to say hello. We can leave.

42:57What, you guys are already leaving? We've been here since 2.30, Sonia. Oh, that's when I stopped drinking. In July of 2.30. And it's like, whatever, Sonia. Bye. And so Kelly just stays there talking to Sonia And she's like oh yeah by the way 4.30 or 5 we're going on Kimberly's yacht So bring a guest I want people to have a party It's a cocktail party Oh yeah she's bringing Harry Doobin Sonia Just seeing out Oh my god my ex-boyfriend Oh jeez I can't with Harry When was the last time you saw him? Oh all the time I see Harry all the time He has my earrings, my bracelet it. He better bring it. He better bring it.

43:39I was like hanging out with him. He just keeps bringing in all these real, I mean, you wouldn't like it. These girls, you know, he's just always with girls. Like, are we dating or are we not even dating? Just saw him this morning.

43:49Ben Mandelker: You know, why is Harry even in my friend group? We started a love affair. He cheated on me. End of story. 30 years ago. Okay. Okay. Kelly's like, it's weird. It's weird. That's just weird. It's just weird. It's just weird. So Sonia goes, well, you know what? A leopard doesn't change at spots. And Kelly goes, stripes. She's like, stripes. Sonia's like, listen, I may be perpetually fucked up and lost in a delusional world, but even I know that leopards have spots. Thank you for being the one person on this cast to make me look balanced and sober. Thank you. So Dorinda and Lou get into the car and bitch about her, of course, and talk about what they're going to wear to the party.

44:28And so now the ladies are doing glam and getting ready for the yacht party and Luanne's talking about how glad we are in a meeting together again. You know, I invited Harry. Harry Dubin. You know, maybe you can rekindle something with Sonya. You know, I mean, they've been on and off for 30 years right now. You know, just get her out of the house.

44:46Ben Mandelker: You know what I mean? So, they're all, they're on the yacht and then Luanne's like, so, Harry, are you single? He's like, well, of course. She's like, well, but you've been seeing Sonya Rita, haven't you? He's like, no. Wait, wait, wait. Come on. Sonia says that she sees you all the time I don't know what to believe from her mouth anymore He's like well she hasn't changed a bit But and by the way I still don't understand how Harry Dubin is like The hot commodity in this group This like gross Man with this licked back hair And like his open collar all the time So Dorinda's like Dorinda okay I'm arriving with Ramona everyone And my relationship with Ramona is so very close You know I'm so enjoying being back in Palm Springs and just back in the rhythm we're having a ball it's making me feel very young right now so Luanne is like yeah well you know Sonia said I see Harry all the time he's like well I mean she's at table 26 every night she's at table 26 every night wait a minute wait a minute she says she's quit drinking for six months and now you're saying she's going to the bar every night and Romana's like well you know what she doesn't always tell the truth she likes to abolish she likes to abolish that's it Yeah, I don't think that's embarrassing.

46:03Ben Mandelker: So Sonia comes in and she's like, okay, you know, I just want to chill. I don't want to get into any drama with Dorinda tonight. And this woman, Kelly, is like, well, you have a choice. You can say to Dorinda, this woman, Kelly, it's Kelly Benson. That's how, that's how this crazy woman, Kelly. I don't know who she is, but she's lucky she got some screen time. So she's like, Kelly goes, you can, you, you've got a choice here. Okay. Here's what you can do. I thought it was going to be like, you have a choice. You can make this hard. You can just say, Dorinda, I'm sorry. Right? It sounds like she's going to say, but she goes, you have a choice.

46:38You can just go up to her and say, Dorinda, listen, what's your problem? It's like, oh, God. I don't want to do that. Well, what's the other choice? That's basically, that was it. What do you mean another choice? That's your choice.

46:53Ben Mandelker: So importantly, so Sonia is like. Like, yeah, I just think that Dorinda's overreacting about me saying that she was unfuckable. But I'm still so upset about Bluestone Manor from 10 to 12 years ago. I just want her to be open to hearing what I felt back then. Then Ramona's saying that, you know what? I still like Sonia. I'm happy to see her. You know what? But I want, you know what? I just want her to be her best. And Ramona's like, well, we all love her. We just want to humiliate her on television one more time. Whoa, Sonia's here. Sonia, why are you wearing a bathing suit? She's like, well, just because in case we go to a hot tub.

47:31Kelly told me she was wearing a swimsuit, so I wore a swimsuit. Kelly, do you have a swimsuit? She's like, no. I didn't tell Sonia I'm wearing a swimsuit to a yacht party at 5 p.m.? What the hell? And then it cuts to Kelly telling Sonia she's wearing a bathing suit to the yacht party at 5 p.m.

47:51Ben Mandelker: I am wearing a bathing suit. first things there are no reliable narrators on this show like not one of them it's a you can't believe a thing that anybody says on this show she really she literally says she goes i am wearing a bathing suit and then it cuts back to her and she's like um 5 p.m cocktail party time get with it whatever

48:17why are you wearing a swimsuit that could be a hot tub okay who cares did you see harry Did you see him? She's like, not yet. Is Harry even here? Give me a warning. I cut him off. I cut him off like probably two months ago. Wait, you said you see him all the time.

48:33Ben Mandelker: He's like, no, I mean, we didn't talk for seven years. I mean, I called him when his father was on his deathbed, and I said, you know, I love you, but like, I just can't stand you. And I said, yeah, you know, you've turned into such a whore. She's like, okay, well, I think you should reconsider. That man actually loves you, and he's got money. I was like, what is this, like, Pride and Prejudice? marrying Sonia off to Willoughby. Like, go after him. Come on, do it. Do it for the family. Otherwise, you'll die old and destitute. What are you doing? He's got money. Does he have hair? Not much of it, but he's got money.

49:03Ben Mandelker: And money is basically the same as hair. Go for it. Why are we trying to hook Sonia up with this horrible, horrible guy? It's so funny. Like, the most unreliable guy in the world. So get with him. That's a solid choice for Sonorita. up she needs something stable harry dubin who are you stooping she's like oh well you know i was with harry when he had the first 50 million and that then he got a second and i say to him if you love me why are you with these other type girls but you know what we're not going to end up together no we are going to end up together i'm not putting out for harry i will put out for him i'm not i already did it he cheated on me he's a cheater i think he cheated on with me with you didn't me She's like, oh, wait a minute.

49:47No, I didn't want.

49:49Ben Mandelker: Wait a second. You're the one who introduced me to him. So it meant that I was allowed to cheat with him. I was allowed to have sex with him. She's like, no, but that's because true. I introduced you. Yeah, that's true. I did do that. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. No, look, let's all throw the dirty laundry out. Who loves me more than you, Harry? Who does? He's like, no one. You choked that on down. Come on. Come on. Say it with your full voice. He's like, well, that hurts. Well, why would anyone get arrested for going into the wrong room anyway, Luanne? We're getting it all out there on the table. Sonia?

50:20Sonia, it's cracking me up, but she's also very manic. It's hard to watch. Yeah. And Luann's like, well, you never see Harry's a problem. Stick on this one. Stick on one story at a time. She's like, I don't even talk to Harry. I've never seen Harry. I haven't seen Harry in 10 years, except for yesterday at the bar. I mean, I see him every day, all the time, but never.

50:40Ben Mandelker: Luann, he said that you squirted. She's like, what? Well, I mean, it's true. I mean, at least I'm not a liar, girl. She's like, whoa, whoa. You know, you don't get your story straight because you don't remember shit. Well, I like to forget a lot after doing this show. Well, a lot of things she doesn't remember, okay? So then Dorinda and Sonia are talking to this woman, Shannon, who's a yacht broker. And Shannon's like, so are you ladies both single? It's like, yeah, yeah, I'm not looking for a husband. It's like, oh, you're not looking for a husband? yeah you guys should you guys should have a line of men why don't you find a yacht owner it's it's amazing can i introduce you to some yacht owners it's like okay back away madame i know madam shannon and so i like sonia's like well you know there's a i can't you know there's always a line of men that's the problem is that's always such a distraction you know i don't want a yacht i don't want a plane i don't want a private island i had all that i don't like it i only you know i only like my husband i'm like sonia you're not married anymore well she says it's harry she oh no no she's like yeah harry like i love you but i just want you like most people want to i don't need a plane i don't need a yacht hot water would be nice hot water i haven't had that for a very long time gas it turns on you know i sit isn't brown these are the things i'm going for and dorinda's like yeah i haven't seen you for years sonia she's like well you know i tried to come to your house if you invited me a hundred years ago into history and last summer that's not true yes that's true so what does she mean last summer does she mean one of the girl trips things well that wasn't honestly winter i don't i don't know i don't know it's so it's so all over the place she's obviously just trying to segue into what she says next which is like oh well the cats filming the Berkshires, which cost me hundreds of thousands of dollars.

52:40Ben Mandelker: Dorinda's like, yeah, we're not doing ancient history. And Dorinda really has this look on her face like, oh, my poor friend. She's lost the thread. This woman does not know reality anymore. It's like, come on, keep it up, Sonia, all right? Let's move on. We gotta talk about new things. We're on a different network. All right, let's go. Shannon, let's go. Leave her alone. So she walks off, and she's like, wow, this is a decade ago. Sonia, geez. Okay, everyone. Well, I'm glad you're all here. It's nice to be back after 10 years. I know everyone's waiting to hear me say this. Hey, girls, we got the yacht.

53:14We got the yacht, girls.

53:18Ben Mandelker: And she's like, well, we always have a great time, everyone. This is so fun. Well, okay. All right. So, I'm, this is a lot going on right now, Sonia. And Sonia is like, we have a great time. And she teeters over and she like crashes into roger and breaks like his glass and then everyone's like oh i'm so sorry kimberly i'm so sorry and kimberly i know that if your face could move you would be expressing shock right now and i apologize that you had to see that oh that kimberly make kimberly a cast member i want to see what kimberly's they're like hey everybody it's kimberly she owns the boat she's like i was like yes your cast yeah yeah was kimberly on that no no was kimberly on that other show the members only i'm not thinking about it she looks familiar i wonder if she was on that show okay so anyway um now it's a pilates scene with kelly and sonia and of course sonia's late and the whole class it's a filming pilates so everybody's sitting around waiting they don't start the class until sonya comes in yeah and um and they're doing pilates then luann goes and has lunch with her boys and roger is uh roger's like oh god ramona we got the whole nice to meet you again for the 50th time and luann's like ramona's always ramona's like hey i haven't met you yet what's your name he's like roger she's like no pick another one i don't like that one who are you what's your name it's still roger man no i don't like him his name yeah well you know ramona is always the same with everybody you know so you can at least say like how are you good to see you i'm just like what's your name again i mean come on ramona ramona definitely think she's a class above and that's one of her downfalls and that's why she doesn't remember their names it's because they don't really matter to her it's like okay boomer see i'm around young people this is not the world we live in anymore i know you're older than the boys that's for sure haha but you know it starts with respect for everyone and i don't like to treat people like that you know me countess luan respectful for all the humans and the children and the beasts and the blessings.

55:46So then they start talking about Michael and how hot he is, and Lou is just so happy. She's like, yeah, he's European. He's smart. We're exclusive with each other. I mean, kind of. We're not going to talk about that. And it's going places. I don't know what places it's going, but it's going to the right place for now. It's inside. I squirted. All right, go ahead. Tell everybody.

56:09Ben Mandelker: We should also mention that Luanne is like holed up in this apartment with like three of the gays. Like this is a crazy, crazy little apartment. So it's not little actually. It's just a crazy space. Meaning it's a confined space with Luann and three gays that they're going to be in for three months, which I think is wild. So then Dorinda meets up with Luann and she's like, yeah, good. I love it down here. I went to the market. I bought these beautiful jumbo shrimp and they were$12. I mean, in New York, they'll be$40. It's crazy. So Luann's like, well, I've been coming down here for 35 years. I already know the price of shrimp.

56:41Ben Mandelker: Thank you very much. But, you know, it's nice to have Ramona, who thinks she's the queen of Palm Beach. Am I right? All right, look, can I tell you the truth? Last night was a little bizarro. Okay, a little bizarro. You know, nothing says that Sonia's real. I mean, Harry said he hasn't seen her at all. And then she has a story for us, like, I don't go out, I don't go out. Like, I don't care. I don't care, Sonia. So, yeah, just be honest, Sonia. Yeah, it's like she's living two different lives. Like, she doesn't even know when July is. you know you know will the real sonia morgan please stand up that was sung by reese's pieces slowan's like well i think there's a certain sense of being embarrassed too i mean look she doesn't even sell out her fake cabaret so dorinda's like i mean financially struggling older women can take make them loopy so this is where dorinda talks about how you know getting older it's really hard especially for someone like sonia who you know she was so beautiful She had money and everything.

57:38Ben Mandelker: And a lot of those things have left her. So she's like, you know, at one point we were sitting on a stool. And she just started saying, I didn't come to Bluestone Manor. And I said, you know what, Sonia? To tell you the truth, that was so long ago. And I'm in such a different place in my life. I don't really want to do this anymore. And so I got up and walked away. And she stayed on her stool. Yeah. We're friends. You know, we're here for her. Just drop the bullshit. and Dorinda still trying to figure out Sonia. She's like, is she embarrassed? Is she delusional? Is she just not really like us?

58:12I mean, what's going on? I mean, you don't really like Sonia either, you know? But Sonia is just a fucking mess and everybody knows it, you know? It's like, what do you do? What do you do to fix Sonia? I don't know. Congratulations. You've reached the end of part one of a two-part recap for part two. Go look for the recap that says part two.

58:38Ben Mandelker: See you over there, suckers. Watch what Crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alison King. Our way is the Amber way. It's the Foster and the Furious. It's Amanda Foster. It's Always Automatic with Ashley Otto. Put your hands together for Carly Clapp. Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniela. Itchles! We never miss her call, it's Diane Call. Big yay, it's Emily Gauthier. Erin McNicholas, she don't miss no trick-a-less. Hala Nagila Weber. You'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones. It's no BS, we love Hugo ES. Jamie, she has no last name-y.

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