Dwell Hello #519: From Rocket City to Studying Space in Strasbourg

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3:48Well, hello.

3:54Ronnie Karam: Hello, and welcome to Dwell Hello. I'm Ronnie, and that's Ben over there. Hi, Ben. Hi, Ronnie. Welcome to House Hunters International, from Rocket City to Studying Space in Strasbourg. So this is House Hunters International, We found this episode on YouTube TV. So if you've got YouTube TV, just search from Rocket City to Studying Space in Strasbourg and it will pop right up and you watch it. And it's going to be a great time.

4:26Ben Mandelker: Now, this one, I actually found this episode and I found it the way that most of us find our Dwell Hello episodes, which is by getting sucked into HGTV. my parents were in town last week and my mom was doing the traditional thing of watching hgtv she was watching uh the lottery dream house thing whatever you know the david show oh god i can't stand that show let's get you into a nice house shall we oh that show is horrid okay they get on

4:56Ronnie Karam: that show and lottery doesn't mean like multi-million dollars like they'll win like $200 ,000 and he's like you know what we should do we should get you a$500 ,000 home that man is determined to keep people poor he's the biggest like ruiner of dreams it's like they finally get one step forward and he's like nope we're going to keep you poor that's what the 1 % does

5:25Ben Mandelker: so enjoy the ride bitch well that's exactly right and my mom loves him she's like you know he's very nice he's very considerate sort of surprising but my mom my mom really enjoys him people

5:40Ronnie Karam: love him I mean he's been on house I mean he's been on HGTV forever he did that 20 years remember when he won we were still watching that show back then it be the next HGTV star and he won that show and he won it because he liked using color And they were like, oh, my God, he paints walls. And I saw him on Rock the Block. He was on Rock the Block. I mean, I don't know. I haven't watched every season. I've watched like three. And he was on one in every room. He's just like, let's paint it pink. Oh, my God, we're going to paint this the brightest blue possible because I love color. He's just terrible.

6:15Ronnie Karam: Just get him out of here. They all looked hideous. Everything he did, everything he does is hideous, this man. Everything. And people just love this guy. They love him. Yeah. He's also, I don't love his tattoo work. I'm not opposed to tattoos I just feel like his tattoos are like not that good his fashion work everything he's like I'm wearing a bandana is a shirt and a coke can is my pants like what are you doing why are you on here

6:41Ben Mandelker: well my mom was watching his show and then it ended and house hunters came on and it was this episode and it was like in the first three seconds I saw a lady, sort of a lady probably in her thirties with this silly haircut. And she wanted to move to Strasbourg because she wanted to go to space university. And I was like, I just texted you. I was like, uh, I think this might be our next. Well, hello. It was mainly because the haircut, the haircut really, I mean, she really, I don't, I'm, I don't even know. How do you describe that haircut like she's like this pretty girl but she gave herself it's not like even a mom

7:27Ronnie Karam: haircut it's like a it's republican it's like republican um yeah it's helmet hair is what it's called but it's like republican congresswoman hair i guess is what you would call it or um what's the lady who is the prime minister of england it's like margaret thatcher hair it's like it's just like this very prim and matronly haircut and i was like why what and

7:55Ben Mandelker: like why are you interested in going to space like like how does this fit with your vision of going to space i feel like if you're going to space you want like long flowing hair i don't know why but i feel like what's the point of going into like no gra it's a zero gravity if you're not going to have the joy of having big hair that goes in every direction because she's like i've already got a

8:13Ronnie Karam: helmet i'm ready for space travel i'm already wearing the helmet and she did it specifically for this because every time they show a picture of her recent past she has like long flowing hair and she also changed her makeup i don't know she did she got a really bad makeover for this because she looks like she's a 60 year old like she's running a country you know she and she's actually a very pretty lady and she's not old like she's a youngish lady and she just like did this weird kind of i don't know i don't know how to say it like conservative politician or like hillary clinton it doesn't even have to be conservative like hillary clinton's old haircut back in the day it's like i'm running you know a country kind of a she really is like i'm a politician i'm

8:58Ben Mandelker: running for office like i'm gonna wear a pussy bow if given the opportunity yeah i'm gonna have

9:05Ronnie Karam: they're gonna take me seriously at the space museum and that's it or the space college or whatever she's like that's it i'm getting this hair no one's gonna stop like she's she's gonna

9:13Ben Mandelker: show up at like space college and then say not only is she gonna show up and do her work but she's gonna make an announcement about um new policies vis-a-vis who can use pens and who can use pencils or something like that like she sort of has kind of principal hair too it's just like she's in charge of something it's definitely a hair it's like a it's a no fun haircut

9:33Ronnie Karam: it's no fun yeah it is a no fun haircut meanwhile her husband is already on grinder i'm just gonna

9:41Ben Mandelker: say it now like her husband there's no there's just no delicate way to say it but and i know

9:49Ronnie Karam: there's a role where you're not supposed to specify you know you're not supposed to like you know specify not specify speculate you're not supposed to speculate on people's like sexuality or whatever, I don't care because I just see one of my sisters out there and I'm like, come back. Come to shore. Come to shore. We're over here. It's okay. She's already got Hillary Clinton there. She doesn't care if you cheat. Come over.

10:14Ben Mandelker: But I think if you were to have a closeted gay man as your husband, this guy is the best kind. He's the dream. This is what you want. He's a great husband. He's just whatever you want. He's like a tame gay. I think that's the dream. I think actually you have a tame gay husband and because he's not like the, it's more heartbreaking when you see a lady who's like oblivious and her husband's like, yes, queen. Yes. You know, like we did that. There was an episode maybe like two years ago where there was a husband like that down in the South and we're like, Oh dear. And he like loved to play the piano and stuff.

10:48Ben Mandelker: But I think you want someone like this. Who's just like, just a sweet guy, a sweet guy who just made.

10:54Ronnie Karam: He's so sweet. Yeah, he is sweet. And he's like, you know what I want? here's your goal you want to go to space camp and lead the space and you want to lead nasa you know what my goal is to make you get your goals oh my god yes i will take you and i want to pack lunches like that's all i want to do you know i want a pretty house that i can clean for you that's like his goal in life i mean that's everybody's goal has been right yeah i think so i mean they definitely

11:22Ben Mandelker: have a dynamic from like a 1990s stage play, right? Like the couple that has some issues that she wants to go off to space and they're in a foreign country and he's like a little nervous and worried about helping the kids. But he also is like seeking a man on the side. It's very evocative. Yeah.

11:41Ronnie Karam: So, um, Amy has the opportunity to earn her master's at the international space university in Strasbourg, France. And so, of course, it's House Hunters, so they say France. So we hear, like, accordion music playing Frere Jacques.

11:57Ben Mandelker: It's an accordion version of Space Oddity.

12:08Ronnie Karam: Oh, that's Superman. So is it or is it Star Wars? I think it was Star Wars. Yeah, Star Wars. so um then we see uh amy pictures of amy in front of a spaceship she's like oh my god we're about to get run over better get tougher hair and then um a close-up of the international space university sign and she's like i want to convince everybody else to go along with the idea because this family did not want to can we get a close-up of my son's miserable face they kept doing this all where she's like, I don't know if the kids are really into it. And then it just cuts to the kid. He's like, uh, everyone's going to hate me here.

12:57Ben Mandelker: So, um, yeah, we see John, Jonathan, the husband, he's like, I'm nervous about being a stay at home dad. I'm also nervous. Crosswalks, tinfoil clouds. Oh, it's going to be hard. It's just like, yes, well, I'm nervous too, because I hear in France, they often have women who have wavy hair. I just hope my helmet fits in.

13:20Ronnie Karam: Yeah. And it's his first time being a stay-at-home dad guy. So he's super nervous about it. And we see him, you know, being a dad. He's like, you better not climb on that, Caroline. Am I doing okay, honey? Am I doing okay? Get some nuts. Smacker. It's like, honey. I'm never going to make it into a space station. And he's like, honey, be nice to her. Jeez, Caroline, don't listen to your mother.

13:50Ben Mandelker: So we have our opening credits. And now Amy is like, well, we live in Huntsville, Alabama. As you may know, because I'm wearing the official haircut of Huntsville, Alabama. Okay, there's this one. I think this is her cosmopolitan.

14:05Ronnie Karam: She's like, you know, we're leaving Huntsville and I'm getting a cosmopolitan haircut. Right. Hand me some Aquanet.

14:10Ben Mandelker: You're actually so right. because you're 100 % right because when we do see those photos of her with the longer hair, that's the Huntsville hair. But she's like, I'm going to France. I have to be sassy and European. Give me the helmet. I want my hair to look like a macaron.

14:29Ben Mandelker: That is kind of what it looks like. So she's like, so Jonathan tells us, we experienced France as a family on vacation and just loved it. I mean, so we have two children. That was a journey. I'll tell you that much. William and Caroline. William is 12 and Caroline's 10. And we have two dogs, Belle and Chevy. And we have also an adorable corner in the house where I just go and just shake, shake. They call me their little Italian greyhound because they often have to put a sweater on me. And I just tremble in the corner.

15:04Ronnie Karam: So that's our life. With the dogs. Because the dogs are like chihuahua type dogs. And they just look terrified. Every time they show a picture of them, they're like, is the picture shaking? Because it's a still picture, but you can still see the dog.

15:21Ben Mandelker: And this guy sort of looks like Ryan Seacrest. He's like a little sweet Alabamian Ryan Seacrest, which really paints a picture in my mind.

15:31Ronnie Karam: He really is. That's a good call. Yeah, he does have some Seacrest in him. He doesn't open his mouth enough, though, because I like when Ryan Seacrest is like, and next. after that amazing performance, we have a country singer coming to sing a country song. Take it away. It's like, okay, Dixon, okay. Your diction is disturbing, sir. I can see your throat.

15:56Ben Mandelker: So Amy tells us, so I started out as a classroom teacher and the opportunity presented itself to become an education specialist supporting NASA. So I am looking to pursue a master's in space studies and the International Space University in Strasbourg, France. I thought, this is perfect. I can finally live out my dream of going into space. Oh, what was that? No, this is just a for-profit university that I'm going to that just haunts people who want to go to space. Okay, well, I'm just going to ignore that piece.

16:27Ronnie Karam: It tricks school teachers into thinking that they're going to space. Oh, okay, good. I'm in. I thought, this is perfect. It lets me pursue both of my dreams, which are space and living in France. God, I wish France was in space. That would really be a dream. Unfortunately, I guess either lifestyle I choose, I'm not really going to be getting my full dream. Am I right? And the husband's like, I know how you feel, honey.

16:52Ben Mandelker: Is this really a true, I'm looking it up. This is, okay, this is a legitimate space university.

17:00Ronnie Karam: You think they made up a space university in France?

17:03Ben Mandelker: Well, no, I mean, it just seems like one of those, it just is like it's just such a like a space university just does sort of sound like the sort of thing where it's like is this legitimate? Is it not?

17:18Ronnie Karam: International Space University you can get a Master of Space Study God this is not for gay people I'm telling you listen to this Master of Space Studies I'm spitting all over the place this is not made for us Space Studies program can we please get less S's? Could you not have a gay husband and then go somewhere with so many S's? Because this is a lot.

17:43Ben Mandelker: It's a lot. So Jonathan tells us, yeah, so a lot of things to think through and process. Before I could just stay in Huntsville and, you know, I would go out for my quote unquote poker nights. If you know what I'm saying. And now I'm going to be in Strasburg and I have no idea what, what's going to happen out there.

18:03Ronnie Karam: so much to process because I'm a mortgage broker. So I'm going to take, I'm going to take a step back from my job because people in France do not borrow. That's one thing I know. So it's going to be a complete flip of roles. And to be honest, I'm nervous about being more of the stay at home dad. And then they, they show the wife and she goes, I'm nervous too. It's like, geez, Amy, it's not very nice.

18:30Ben Mandelker: I realize that there's just no room in France for a mortgage broker because part of my job is getting people pre-approved. And in France, they're actually more interested in being pre-disapproved. And so I just don't know if I fit into that culture.

18:48Ronnie Karam: We're going to rely on our savings, which we had spent many years setting aside for who knows what. And it was this. So glad I saved all that mortgage money Because here we are Rants Me not knowing the language And having to take care of children It's going to be great

19:08Ben Mandelker: By the way also when Jonathan says That he's nervous about being a stay at home dad They show footage of him putting a goose hat On his head Okay kids Here's the goose hat Am I approved Am I pre-approved As a stay at home dad I'm a fun dad, right? Right, kids? Goose hats? Anyone?

19:27Ronnie Karam: Why can I never be the duck?

19:29Ben Mandelker: Why?

19:30Ronnie Karam: Why? So she's like, well, here's what I know about Strasbourg. Strasbourg is the capital of Europe. And I know that it has a good bit of German influence because it's right on the border. And it's gone back and forth between French rule and German rule several times throughout history. And so we get a chyron that's like, Strasbourg is considered one of the four capitals in European Union. and is the headquarters of several major institutions, including European Parliament and Council of Mortgages of Europe.

20:02Ben Mandelker: Yeah, and it has that feeling of walking through history, the architecture, just noticing people relaxing and then people tensing up when my wife walks through with her haircut and then relaxing as she passes them.

20:13Ronnie Karam: I mean, it's just so historic. You know, when you read history and it's just filled with pages and pages of people relaxing.

20:24Ben Mandelker: They think Strasburg A lot of people go to the Caribbean to relax I say think about Strasburg Just a relaxing relaxing place

20:33Ronnie Karam: Or as Amy's turning it into Strasburg am I right She's like not funny Not funny So

20:43Ben Mandelker: Then we have our realtor I love this lady the realtor Eleanor Eleanor she's tall and she speaks a bit like this and she always seems like she absolutely hates all the Americans that this show throws at her and so Strasbourg is a green city there's bikes everywhere to the point where it can actually be quite dangerous um that's why we encourage people to wear helmets but if you're Amy you sort of grew your own which is really good for her so it's home to big international community and the Strasbourg rental market is very boring market and And it can be quite difficult to find a property, which is my way of saying this could be fucking annoying dealing with these people over here.

21:30Ronnie Karam: Yeah, pretty much. And this whole episode is filled with them almost getting run over by bicyclists. So funny because they're literally everywhere and they're going 60 miles an hour. And every time they make a step, I almost almost got killed. Just almost died there. Well, bicycles, this is great. Isn't this great, honey? Terrified. Please don't make me move here. so now we go to them all talking about what they're looking for and Amy's like I would really love to be in the city center because it's just so different than what we've been experiencing before I mean Huntsville not much of a city center okay you can even walk to the Chili's not a great place I mean it's just so different from home isn't it God I just want to walk out on the street it's me Amy anybody there's some cotton candy got some it's just amazing city center, city center.

22:22Ronnie Karam: Is there a Best Buy? Where's the Best Buy? I want to live right by it.

22:25Ben Mandelker: That's where I want to live. And he's like, well, we want to be close to some activities for the kids. I mean, what are you talking about? It's one of the capitals of the EU. You can go practically tap Angela Merkel on the shoulder and get an autograph. I mean, there's a lot of stuff for the kids here.

22:42Ronnie Karam: So there's four of you. How many bedrooms do you need? He's like, well, we'd like three. Okay. Because there's four people. So three bedrooms. so we're used to having our own bathroom each of us so we would like three bedrooms and four baths actually five because my wife has IBS and sometimes she just needs her own bathroom for that so she needs to know she would like her own bathroom for when she's feeling professional and spacey and her other bathroom when she's feeling IBS-y so all right well you know this

23:11Ben Mandelker: might be a bit of a challenge here in Strasbourg especially in these old buildings that usually only have quite frankly just a faucet and that's it a faucet and a drain and the toilets are down

23:22Ronnie Karam: the hall is that okay with you oh well it is pretty crazy that i mean i was joking because they really do just ask for two bathrooms and she's like that might be a challenge really where do you guys do you guys just not poop over there no we're european so just much more

23:40Ben Mandelker: dignified about these sort of things we don't eat all those chilies and i'll have gotten that you Americans love so much so we don't have as many bowel movements.

23:49Ronnie Karam: We drop small wooden beads once every three days. So as long as you've got a paper bag, you should be good to go, Huntsville.

24:00Ben Mandelker: So Amy's like, and I would love to have a balcony or an outdoor something or another. How about a big lawn? Can we get a big lawn in the middle of this city? It's like, oh, yes, that's, that's the thing. Oh, and look, you've got dogs too. So, okay, well, how about a no balcony and a window instead? That works for you, right?

24:23Ronnie Karam: Well, I think Amy hates these dogs because later she mentions that the kids are making them take the dogs, which I think is kind of such a weird thing for the parent to say. Like, yeah, well, the kids are making us bring these things, so I guess we got to do it. Hey, can we get a place really high up with a balcony? That would be great because we've got little dogs that can fit through those bars. So that would be nice. It's like, geez, Amy. God. I'm questioning. Have some respect for the dogs. You need a backyard, Amy, is what you need. Two dogs on a balcony.

24:57Ben Mandelker: I would also request that we live somewhere that's close to, I don't know, a community where I can also be treated like a little dog. It's called Pups. Have you heard of it? Okay. All right, Jonathan, we are not going to talk to Eleanor about that. Okay.

25:11Ronnie Karam: Jonathan, now is not the time for your furry dreams. Okay, this is about my dreams, Jason. Space. Space. Go to space. Yeah, we need something pet-friendly and close to a park, preferably with a cruising element. And Eleanor is like, okay, what style of property are we looking for? Well, I would love something that has a European traditional feel to it. Let them eat cake, you know what I mean? That would be great.

25:39Ben Mandelker: is matronly an architectural style also because that's something i'd be really interested in

25:45Ronnie Karam: i want something that screams rayon pantsuit do you have that

25:53Ben Mandelker: so jolathan is like yeah and i love to um i love the look of traditional but i'm like more of a modern touch so the amenities and the comforts that we're used to that'd be great like i don't enormous refrigerator kitchen island um open concept four bedrooms four bathrooms giant lawn

26:11Ronnie Karam: but in the center of this old european city is that possible could we get farmhouse modern with a pool in the back in strasburg no no you will not find that you won't even have a place to poop sir all right i'll show you what you i'll show you what i've got and you can choose one of those and Amy's like, well, here's what we've come with. Suitcases. Okay, that's it. That's it. I just came with me, my dreams and ambitions and my baggage. Okay, Jonathan, kids, say hello.

26:42Ben Mandelker: Now, listen, I'm going to need you to get us a good deal on this. And if you do, I mean, I'm not saying that there's more work in the future, but I am going to space. And as far as I can tell, there's a lot of room for real estate out there. So stick with me, Eleanor. Treat you well.

26:56Ronnie Karam: All right. And how much are you willing to spend? And we want to spend$2 ,400 a month, which for this show is a massive amount of money, I think. Because usually people are like, here's$5, you know, but he's like, we have a lot of money. So Eleanor's like, well, that's a decent budget.

27:13Ben Mandelker: I was asking how much are you willing to spend on your next haircut? Because I'd be willing to throw another$5 or$20 into that.

27:23Ronnie Karam: It's a decent budget, but it's going to be difficult to find them something with typical Strasburg character. and a city center with three bedrooms. I mean, what do these people need from me? Only single people who don't poop live here generally. So let's see what we can find. So full wish list, three bedrooms, two bathrooms, city center, close to the action, balcony, pet friendly, European charm, modern amenities, penises nearby, budget$2 ,400 a month.

27:50Ben Mandelker: Well, I can tell you I have been almost run over by several bicycles, Eleanor. it's not funny Eleanor okay we're not used to the bike lanes okay we don't in fact we expressly forbid them in our town we voted them down okay this is not cool so Eleanor's like it does take some getting used to doesn't it I mean yeah the bike's ever no I'm sorry your haircut we don't have this style here in France

28:18Ronnie Karam: I'm going to show Amy and Jonathan this house because I think it would be a practical option for them it's recently renovated, modern designed, fully furnished. And I turned on the grinder and it beeped out of my hand. My phone fell to the floor. So you've got both the best of both worlds with this location. It's quite residential. Let's check it out. So they go to, I mean, this is not a good choice

28:44Ben Mandelker: already. This is a, it's truly just like an apartment and it's pretty small for a family of four although it's definitely doable i have friends who live in new york city in spaces that are about as big as this it's doable but it's got it's like a pretty standard like sort of european apartment the one thing that's weird is that there's like this breakfast table that's like randomly placed like right in the middle of this kind of transition area between like living room and kitchen is like an attempt i think to try to make it more of a multi-use space um but But like it's pretty it's tight quarters.

29:21Ronnie Karam: Yeah, I thought this one was actually pretty good. I mean, it's what he's asking for, which is modern. You know, he wants a modern look. But I don't know what modern means in Huntsville because he doesn't think it looks modern. It's like, oh, yeah, this isn't what I wanted. I'm like, this is exactly what you asked for. This is you walk in. It's sleek. It's all beige and beige, you know, sleek couches and stuff like that. So I'm not really sure what he thinks of as modern, but I feel like she served them what they were asking for kind of. And it's central, you know, I mean, that's not like a big sprawling place, but it's by the city center.

29:58Ronnie Karam: I mean, what do you want? You know what?

30:00Ben Mandelker: Amy says, you know, I'm watching Jonathan look at the kitchen and look at the refrigerator. And that just makes me really happy because, you know, I can realize I can concentrate on school and I can just trust in him and trust that he's got this. Because, you know what? Anytime he gets nervous, I just hand him a head of lettuce. and he just comes down right away. It's just sort of the cutest little thing.

30:19Ronnie Karam: So it's a rooftop, six floor, three bed, one bath, central located, balcony, modern, long commute. Oh, this one's long commute. It said centrally located at first, but there is an elevator and I think that's a good thing.

30:32Ben Mandelker: It is centrally located. It's centrally located in the city, but the space university is a ways away.

30:38Ronnie Karam: Yeah, that's far away. They're like, don't let normies get close to the space center.

30:45Ben Mandelker: So, um, they going to space is literally about having a commute. So I think 45 minutes is nothing compared to like a light year. So I would say, I think it should not be an issue.

30:55Ronnie Karam: Yeah. Yeah. That's how she should sell it. She's like, well, you're, we're talking light years here. This is nothing darling.

31:05Ben Mandelker: So literally want to go to the moon and now you're going to complain about a 25 minute drive. I don't think so, honey. Yeah. Get used to it. I was a Las Coles de Risas fan. why do they say that what do they say that's that's remember when we saw them do that thing in vancouver and like you come up and you complain about something you go i don't think so honey

31:29Ronnie Karam: that's funny so um jonathan looks out the balcony and uh he's like oh my god i love all the rooftops so many ways to escape run is there somewhere i can tie a rope here and kind of swing over to to that one over there and uh amy loves the view it's a modern kitchen great breakfast area um amy doesn't like that there's a dining room table but then in the kitchen there's like a high kind of bar table she's like why is there a table by a table hi it's called a kitchen and a dining room a kitchen table and a dining room what these people they're confused by odd things which makes me wonder what's happening in Huntsville.

32:10Ben Mandelker: You're literally going to a university in Strasburg for space and this is the thing that is like confusing to you. This is the thing that's shocking and surprising. There are a lot of confusing things for us that are happening on screen. We'll just say that. Okay.

32:27Ronnie Karam: Well, one other thing and one thing they don't mention but I think the most confusing thing was the table in the kitchen because it's like this really high table, right? Like a bar table. That makes sense. But it's Oh, it's great. It's a great. So it's all holes. Anything that drops on the table is falling straight to the floor. Anything, any crumbs is going straight to the floor and then you have to clean a grate. It's weird. Like your kids eat kids are pigs. So you're going to have to like sweep and mop every time. And I don't know, it's a weird kitchen table.

32:56Ben Mandelker: It's no, I agree. I think the table is actually very strange because it's like, it's just placed strangely. It feels like the owners put it in there to try to like sizzle, add some sizzle to this place. But it's, it seemed ill-conceived, I would say. I think you just get rid of that. And you go to Ikea and get one of those like little islands, you know, and you can make that like a prep area.

33:16Ronnie Karam: Yeah. So they, there are small rooms. Uh, everyone is going to have a small room in this one. Uh, one of them has a desk and it's right in front of like a full size bed. It's this tiny room with a tiny little desk. And she goes, Oh, there's a desk in here. I like that because I can work in here, you know, and I can file papers or I can answer emails or I can pick up the phone in here or I can write things down with a pencil. I'm like, yes, just list all the things you could do at a desk. Amy, we get it. You're going to work.

33:46Ben Mandelker: Okay. This is great because this is where I can do my space work. I mean, it's not a lot. I think basically I just have to log on and email out anyone out there. And if I get no response, I just try again the next day.

33:59Ronnie Karam: have we found matt damon yet anybody have word on that damon does he still have potatoes in space

34:07Ben Mandelker: hi this is amy uh just want to call a meeting in the universe anyone out there just want to say i'm setting a time i'm looking for a confirmation we're going to try for tuesday at 2 p.m if i don't hear from anyone um we will have to move this again so oh well we've found a link to matt damon

34:25Ronnie Karam: Matt Damon, have we found a way to keep Aquanet from exploding in space? Okay. I'm just going to wait. I've got about a month until I get a response. But thankfully, I can do it. Wait at this desk.

34:39Ben Mandelker: Okay. All right. Hi, this is Amy again. Amy to the universe. Has anyone been able to find any pantsuits outlets? No.

34:51Ronnie Karam: Pantsuits.

34:54Ronnie Karam: So Eleanor's like, I'm surprised by their reaction to this apartment. I thought they were going to really like it. I mean, it's a great location. It's ready to go, especially Jonathan, because it's got modern feel, which he's requested and doesn't seem to understand because they are not into this. And Amy's like, well, okay, this apartment is doable. The bedrooms could work. And Jonathan's like, yeah, but they're like right on top of each other and I'm not really at hot. So I'm going to need to like rethink configurations. Yeah.

35:26Ben Mandelker: That's a little too much. Well, to get Amy that charm she's after, she's going to have to change that hairstyle. Am I right, everyone? Eleanor needs to, needs to take him to another place in the city. And, uh, so now we go to a new part. So we have a commercial break and now the kids are at a museum. It's like a science museum. And, and, and Amy is definitely like teacher, teacher mom. Cause she's like, Okay kids And what's that? Saturn And Saturn has what around it? Rings And what else? Your mother someday Your mother

36:04Ronnie Karam: Can you go now mommy? Can you go now? Shut the fuck up For the past decade I've been working with the human exploration rover challenge with NASA And now we're going to attend the university And I'm just looking forward to pursuing a masters in space in France. It's been my dream also to be a princess, also to be a queen, also to be a cat with a chateau. So I'm going to get one of those. Damn it. I mean, he got to live out his mortgage dreams.

36:33Ben Mandelker: Oh, look, girls, girls and boy, everyone, everyone in the family, look, this is Felicette, who is the first cat in space. And John, Jonathan, why are you saying icon so many times? Sorry, just Felicette is... I've heard that she's kind of an icon in certain communities, but.

36:54Ronnie Karam: She's a French cat. Okay. And she went up in 1963. Did she come back down? No, she died horribly, kids. Okay. Stop crying. Stop crying. Stop being a wuss. We're in France now. Stop it.

37:08Ben Mandelker: Is Felicette, is that related to Felix the cat?

37:12Ronnie Karam: Oh, I don't know. Felicette. Felicette. Felicette. So she's like, oh, God, we had to do so much convincing for the children. They were really nervous about it. Oh, yeah, they were really nervous. There was a lot of waffling. And by waffling, I mean sobbing. Yeah. Okay. Close up of our son's face. He's like, did you know that the human brain weighs eight pounds? Shut up. Stop quoting Jerry Maguire. God. Can we get better role models for our children in France?

37:43Ben Mandelker: Jonathan's like, no, there really was a lot of waffling. specifically by me being a stay-at-home dad. I've really had to put in some reps with that waffle iron. It's hard feeding kids in the morning, but I'm up for it. I'm up for this challenge.

37:58Ronnie Karam: They're going to miss their friends back home, but they're also excited. And it shows the kids and they're not excited at all. They're like, oh, why do we have to come here? Why? So Amy's like, yeah, you know, we're thinking about the future and they don't understand that. They don't see that the hard gives them growth. What are you doing to these children? Amy hates these children, and I kind of love it. She's like, yeah, we're making the kids come here. They don't want to, but fuck them. Okay? They're going to deal with it. The hard gives you growth. Jonathan's like, oh, if that were true, I'd be six feet tall.

38:38Ben Mandelker: I'm also looking forward to these kids inevitably coming back to America and being in their 20s and having therapy. and whining, being like, I had a hard life too. You know, when I was 12, I was forced to live in Strasbourg in a beautiful city center.

38:54Ronnie Karam: My mom kept suggesting we get a ghost cat from 1963 that died in space.

39:02Ronnie Karam: Strasbourg has a fabulous international community. Oh, Strasbourg has a fabulous international community and I can see them sitting in really well and being ignored by the rest of the international community. I imagine them walking down the street and meeting people and then getting questions like, what is this Huntsville? And what do they do to your hair there?

39:26Ben Mandelker: Note, Jonathan, that I use the word fabulous. It's a little inside joke for me to you. I understand. I can't. I can't. Felly set, am I right? so what were the kids reaction when you told them um did we already talk about this okay oh and so it was caroline that insisted that the dogs come to france right we're gonna have little american dogs in france we love when americans bring more american things to our country that's just something that's so joyous for us well hopefully caroline and william will like this neighborhood

40:04Ronnie Karam: because we're only 15 minutes away from the city center. And that's a place where you can take dogs. That's how this all ties in. And he's like, oh, that's not bad. 10 to 15 minutes. That's pretty good. So we see house number two. And Eleanor has picked it because Amy wants French charm. And there is French charm because it's a historical building. But it's only semi-furnished. So they would have to buy extra pieces. And the jury is out on their taste level.

40:30Ben Mandelker: Let's give it a look. so this place house number two is three bed two bath third floor uh it has french charm it has two bathrooms as i mentioned before so it's semi-furnished but it's a little pricey because it's 350 over budget so they're like oh yeah they give that face of like over budget um it's also by a tram stop that uh goes to the university uh that takes 45 minutes to go to the university and Amy is like she's just she's like I don't know if I love the distance keeping me away from the family lady you are in space studies okay like an astronaut just got home like yesterday who's been gone for three years okay you're gonna have to get used to distance

41:15Ronnie Karam: did you see gravity yeah exactly um so they're freaking out over the 350 um but they love the size this apartment is really cool it's got like moldings and ceiling moldings i mean it looks very very pretty and very franche which she loves because she's like i've dreamt of light i've dreamt of this since i was a little girl and um she loves the view which is basically the street i mean it's not that great of a view but it's still it's still a really cool place um yeah i like this one but 45 minutes from work is a lot that's a long way away that is a lot but if this

41:50Ben Mandelker: if you can take a tram, I think that helps a lot because like you can do a lot on a train. That's like time when you can be like doing work. You can be listening to a podcast. You could be just like, did they say there's a tram? Yeah, they said that was a 45 minute tram stop. Oh, yeah, then I would do that. Yeah, that's different. If you can just be like, if you can use, you can use that time. You can nap like you can make up a lot of time if it's just on public transportation.

42:17Ronnie Karam: Yeah, because that's like break time away from your family. You can just chill and watch shows and do all that stuff. So yeah, I would do that.

42:23Ben Mandelker: It makes me wonder, I wonder if the space university has maybe a shuttle. Shuttle. Does it have a shuttle? The space university have a shuttle. Anyone, is anyone out there? Anyone get the joke? Anyone get the joke? Come on. I got it.

42:43Ronnie Karam: I got it. I was hitting my baby. Sorry. Yeah. I laughed on the inside.

42:49Ben Mandelker: like Amy. I Amy's cracking up. She's like, you know, I didn't really appreciate this podcast at first, but the way they were talking about my husband and my hair, but you know what? That was a pretty good joke.

43:01Ronnie Karam: So they check it out. This one has like very bright rooms. Like they've painted all the rooms, different wacky colors. And it's okay. And all the rooms are tiny. They walk into this real tiny room and they're like, I guess we'll sleep here. This will be the couple's room. And Jonathan looks at the bed and goes, well that's a full-size bed oh god and he's like yeah they're better to cuddle with right jonathan he's like oh god jesus just shoot me in the fucking face oh god i almost choked on my own spit and then they go into a really large room and they're like this is where our son should go because he's creative what the fuck that's the largest room you can move the bunk bed to the other room like they don't have the concept like oh we could just move the bunk bed they see a bunk bed and they're like this is our sense no you're not exactly freaking huge room what are you nuts

43:53Ben Mandelker: seriously but this place is great and i was just like oh just get this place please please like we can end the episode this is a great spot the view you see old strasbourg like please don't bother with any place else but of course we have to so we go now it's time for a scene change so to get a better price and a shorter commute eleanor takes them to a garbage house in the suburbs Why even move to France at this point?

44:18Ronnie Karam: I did think this other house was kind of weird because they had two bathrooms, but one bathroom had a bath and the other had a shower, but only one had a toilet, which is weird because usually a half bath is a toilet, not a shower. That's kind of weird. You have a room for just a shower. Doesn't everybody go pee before they shower? I don't know. It seems like kind of a natural progression. It feels like the toilet is more important.

44:45Ben Mandelker: I just feel like it might, like, it might also be good to have two toilets. I don't know.

44:50Ronnie Karam: Yeah. Because. Like, that's asking, that's begging for the men in the house to go pee in the shower. Yeah. And you know they will. I would do it.

45:00Ben Mandelker: So, um, now, uh, they're at a wine and food shop, uh, where Amy is like, so I have a question. So is everything, is everything here French? No. No, sorry, this is Japanese over here. Of course. Like a wine and cheese shop in France. Is this French?

45:26Ronnie Karam: They do have some stuff from Italy and Spain, though. And she's like, anything from Huntsville? No. Do you have any of our Huntsville mayonnaise? No? No.

45:39Ronnie Karam: So Jonathan's like, yeah, it's a good opportunity because I'm going to be a stay-at-home dad. So I want to pour more time and effort and energy into the kids. I just can't wait. I mean, you know, I've just worked so hard in mortgages. I can't wait to get closer to the family. Aren't you excited, son? He's like, please don't make me move here.

45:58Ben Mandelker: We see them sitting outside the shop now eating their charcuterie, which is really cute. And she's like, oh, this is good. It's got a little tang to it. He's like, oh, really? I'm not getting any notes. No, no, I actually, I just seasoned my food with tang. Just get ready.

46:11Ronnie Karam: Just getting ready. Yes, always keep in your purse. You know, let me tell you, this stuff is powder and it travels to space. Are you paying attention, kids? Dang, in space.

46:21Ben Mandelker: I'm ramping up. I'm ramping up my diet because it's going to happen. It's going to happen. And the Strasbourg to moon pipeline is strong.

46:32Ronnie Karam: So she is like, you know, Eleanor says, at first I thought this was a massive change for Amy going back to school and French university. but I'm realising it's actually a bigger change for Jonathan. He's going to be responsible for caring for two children that hate him and his wife and he's got to put them into French school where they'll be endlessly bullied in language they don't understand and that's the kind of bit that's actually quite nerve-wracking. I know that Amy will be fine through anything. I mean, you could put that woman in a hailstorm, she wouldn't even feel it. I mean, that hair.

47:04Am I right? That hair.

47:07Ben Mandelker: Look, he's already trembling at the thought of it. I think he can hear my thoughts. Okay, everyone. Welcome to Ilke Grafenstaden for house number three. Jonathan, Jonathan, you don't have to hide behind my leg. I wasn't angry at you. I was just saying something German.

47:26Ronnie Karam: Thank you. Thank you for your approval. I really go on that. So they come up to this little kind of ugly gray house, and it's really hideous from the outside, and they don't even hide it. Amy's like, what the fuck is this? This is disgusting. I've shat out better house designs than this lady. What are you doing to us?

47:46Ben Mandelker: But it is 10 minutes. It's 10 minutes away from Space University. And it's fully furnished. But the toilet is separate in one bathroom. And that's basically what it is. But Amy's like, yeah, this is gross. And Jonathan says, well, it feels safe. I mean, like you could just say, hey, kids, go walk around and don't have anything to worry about. It's just got that nice down home Ilkirk Grafenstaden feel, you know, it's safe, isn't it? Is there a knitting circle nearby? I'm just wondering. I want to make a sweater.

48:23Ronnie Karam: So they go check it out. The living area is insane looking. It's insane. They did it like in cement. They did all the walls and some kind of cement wash. It's all gray and then like dark gray. And then the fireplace, it's like a skinny L room. And then the fireplace is covered in this bizarre giant format green tile. It's a weird look. And then they've got a super modern like tufted gray velvet. So it's like everything was like matte and shiny at the same time.

48:56Ben Mandelker: It was like dark gray and light gray. It was like weird. Just not. It wasn't like a cool slate gray. It was just like a weird. It was like something went wrong here. and it's so like the moment you walk in it's so hideous and they're like oh wow this is lovely look at this beautiful this room the kids are gonna love this room you know our kids are always like wow dad you are so gray you're such a gray person you're like like just like come out and be gray already and i'm like why do you guys always say that to me but anyway they're gonna like it

49:25Ronnie Karam: in here but they just never understand rooms or that things can come in or out of rooms which cracks me up because the other room they were like oh this is his room because there's a bunk bed and in this room they're like the kids are going to love this room because there's a tv here like okay so um they they check out the house this one has one bathroom again which is super weird and there is a full-size fridge which is a big deal to them and jonathan's like this really reminds me of home which again i'm wondering what's happening in strasburg and uh they've got maroon cabinets the the kitchen is like crazy in 80s it's like from an 80s movie and they're

50:03Ben Mandelker: like oh my god what a great modern kitchen oh i like when they go look at the bedrooms and they go this one bedroom and the the wall is like this bright neon yellow it's like a highlighter or kind of yellowish kind of thing and like oh this will be perfect for caroline she's gonna love this room what fun colors and then they go to the next room and they start to realize that all the rooms are that color it's not just the kids room it's like oh oh okay well it's it's a bit bright in here i

50:30Ronnie Karam: guess this is fun okay yeah this one is crazy colors everywhere and um was i thinking of the wrong house before is this the one or did both of them have bright colored rooms what the hell i don't remember so yeah so anyway they check out this one this one's pretty nice and so now they have to debrief about which one they like and amy is like i mean you know the outside's hideous but i mean the inside surprisingly comfortable and he goes yeah and there's plenty of space here space get it honey it's like oh thanks honey thanks for trying honey this is my dream

51:11Ben Mandelker: so ultimately they cross off the very first one right away um and i just assumed they're gonna go for the hideous house i mean i felt like they were they seemed like more suburban people I thought they were going to, it's close to her university. I did too. I was like, and there's a TV. So I'm not for sure. That's what they were going to be doing. But they made the right choice.

51:32Ronnie Karam: Yeah.

51:33Ben Mandelker: It was cheap too.

51:34Ronnie Karam: It was$1 ,700 a month. But yeah, they chose the beautiful French one. They did not have bright bedrooms. Like I told you guys earlier, I'm crazy. I got my houses mixed up. But that French Chateau looking one is the one they ended up getting. And I think that that was a really good choice. That was a good one. Yeah.

51:51Ben Mandelker: I think so too. So they chose the right one. It looks really cute. The kids seem happy. And all is well that ends well.

51:58Ronnie Karam: I'm happy for the daughter because, you know, the mom is going to have to like spend an hour each way, which is going to give the daughter more time away from her. Because I think the mom hates the daughter because every house they would get to the tiniest room and the mom would always go, oh, this is Caroline's room. I'm like, what? Why are you putting Caroline's room? They'd be like, oh, here's the laundry closet. that, oh, Caroline can sleep in here.

52:22Ben Mandelker: Does this door, is there an option to put bars on this doorway?

52:30Ben Mandelker: That's so funny. Yeah. They were a sweet couple. They were actually like a really sweet little couple and I'm excited for them.

52:40Ronnie Karam: Yeah. And they're the kind of couple with like zero taste too because they're like, oh my God, we've really had a good time putting our own spin on this apartment. and then we go to the apartment. It's the exact same. Nothing has changed in the apartment. Because literally did nothing.

52:56Ben Mandelker: Who are you trying to kid over here? I'm just happy for her because I feel like being in Strasbourg, like that haircut has like a, it's going to last for three more months before she's going to like cater to the sneers of all the French women being like, ugh. Ugh. Yeah.

53:13Ronnie Karam: They'll fix her right up. But yeah, that's a good couple. I wish them all the happiness in the world,

53:18Ben Mandelker: all those kids they're so sweet um yeah thanks everyone for listening to dwell hello if you have a suggestion email us watch what crappens at gmail.com and put dwell hello suggestion in your subject and um and we will try to cover your the episode and also let us know let us know if it's on max or youtube and then um uh like those are the two platforms that we go to for our house hunters we don't go to any others so all right everybody thanks so much for being here we'll

53:51Ronnie Karam: talk to you next time bye

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