Dwell Hello #520: Drag Room or Art Studio in Alabama

0:00Ding-dong!

0:07Ding-dong!

0:13Ding-dong! Ding-dong!

0:18Ronnie Karam: Ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-dong!

0:28Well, hello and welcome to Dwell Hello.

0:35Ben Mandelker: It's a Watcher Crappens House Hunters podcast. I'm Ben Mandlicker. That's Ronnie Karam. Thanks for listening to us here on Rwanderly Plus. Today we have a very fun episode. it is house hunters volume nine season 254 episode six drag room or art studio in alabama an age-old dilemma and we were we watched this on youtube uh ronnie did someone send this to us

1:02Ronnie Karam: do you remember yes this was sure sent to us it was sent to us by amy joe b thank you amy joe

1:10Ben Mandelker: yeah thanks amy joe so um should we just dive into it ronnie what do you say yeah let's do her

1:18Ronnie Karam: Okay, so this episode, Drag Room or Art Studio, we found this on YouTube TV. It's season 254, episode 6. So if you guys want it, just go to YouTube. And what I did, I searched on YouTube TV, Drag Room or Art Studio, and it popped right up. It was on demand. So that's how we watched it. If you want to suggest an episode, all you need to do is email us at watchwhatcrappens at gmail.com with the subject line, dwell hello suggestion. If you don't put that in the subject line, we won't see it. Okay. And preferably have it on Max, you know, or HBO, whatever they're calling themselves now, HBO Max. That's the easiest one.

1:56Ronnie Karam: But YouTube TV can work, too. Okay, let's check it out, Ben. This is Drag Room or Art Studio. Now, I was expecting, like, a big, larger-than-life drag queen. This was a very low-energy drag queen. Is that a thing now where drag queens are just, like, low energy?

2:12Ben Mandelker: Maybe. Maybe he's exhausted. Maybe this guy's exhausted because he's having to go from Florida to Alabama and back and forth. And he's just like, maybe he's truly leaning into the drag part of drag queen. Like life is a bit of a drag sometimes. That's me.

2:27Ronnie Karam: I'm that kind of drag queen. Like I'm dragging my ass kind of queen. But I went to see a drag show. Sasha Colby was in town and did a concert. And I went to see it with my friends. It was so, so good. I mean, I got dragged in a way that I haven't gotten it before. I mean, I always get it, but I'm not like I don't watch Drag Race. I'm not I think I'm just not like a drag gay because we miss so much of Drag Race when it started. We just didn't watch that. I'm a housewives gay. And so I just obviously drag drag queens are a big part of gay culture. So I see drag queens all the time. It's not like I'm a stranger to a drag show, but I never really got it to the degree.

3:08Ronnie Karam: I got it till I saw this Sasha Colby. I mean, my God, it was her two dancers and a little platform that they rolled all over the place. And that was it. They made all that. You can tell that these costumes were made out of duct tape and poster board. They dress the little platform thing and different things to make different sets. And then they did everything else with tape, flashlights, like wind, you know, like blow dryer, leaf blowers or something like little cheapo wind machines. It was like watching a little kid dressing up in their mom's clothes and just making an art form out of it. And it had never been in that context in my mind before where I really saw it's like, oh, this is like little gay kids dressing up in their mom's clothes and they've taken it to this art form.

3:53Ronnie Karam: It was so creative and so good. I was so inspired. I just loved it.

3:57Ben Mandelker: What did they do like when Sasha was changing looks? Like what was on stage?

4:02Ronnie Karam: They had the dancer. the two dancers would come out and do stuff they would dance around and all that and a lot of her changes she did on stage they just found really creative ways to you know choreograph it and stuff but i mean they did something with trash bags you know big black trash bags that they taped together and then they used uh fluorescent pink tape to make designs on it and like a glory hole thing that she was singing through the singing through the glory hole but the way they were like moving it around with um just moving it around and blowing it with wind from hair dryers or whatever it just looked so cool i was just so impressed with what they did with five dollars wow yeah

4:44Ben Mandelker: that is impressive well drag has really come a long way i mean it's really yeah having a moment for the past like eight years or so because of drag race which is really impressive and i i remember the first time i really sort of like i felt like i i always thought like drag was it was like fun it never really resonated with me but it was like a fun thing to visit and see or whatever but i remember one time i saw a drag show in west hollywood and someone came out and performed like dressed like audrey and started performing um suddenly see more it was so good it was so good i felt like i was at an ellen green concert i was like i get it i get it nevertheless this drag queen was not showing any signs of any of that

5:28Ronnie Karam: yeah exactly that that's my point so i came home i saw this dwell hello suggestion actually i think i had already we'd already picked it but i was like wow i'm really having a drag week and i was so inspired by watching that show i was like this is it finally i get now i get a drag show here and i turned it on and this was the opposite of that this was like i love gray walls you know this one was like this one didn't know what mid-century modern means first no and then kept walking around in all these terrible flips saying how much he loved everything and it was all that like really bad $5 flip with the gray walls and the shitty LVP floors.

6:05Ronnie Karam: This is a depressing episode.

6:08Ben Mandelker: Mel and Kyle feel that their current Florida home lacks flair. So now they're moving to Montgomery, Alabama and they want their new place to have more character. I guess that will start by having them not in it because they don't have much to contribute. All right, it's been a long day for me.

6:27Ronnie Karam: Long day. Black holes of character, Mel and Kyle, want more character to suck into their black hole. Okay.

6:36Ben Mandelker: Two people who have the personality equivalent of drywall are trying to somehow convince us they're in search of character.

6:45Ronnie Karam: But guess what? You get to see drywall in a dress. Welcome to House Hunters. The problem is they totally disagree on style. Neither one of them has any. Kyle wants historic charm But Mel is looking for a groovy 70s vibe Okay so Mel Groovy 70s vibe Okay also they're spending$5 They want to spend$150 ,000 Okay Is this what you get in Alabama? Because I'm fucking moving I'm telling you that right now Let me tell you something I'll move there

7:16Ben Mandelker: These two fuckers They're like our budget Well one of them says One of them wants a budget of$250 ,000 The other one wants a budget of$150 ,000. And really, this is one of those episodes where it's really about penny pinching. And it's a lot of talk about penny pinching. They are driving a Range Rover through this entire episode. I'm sorry. I don't want to hear it. I don't want to hear about how, like, you're like, well, that's going to be a lot for us. Yes, people spend their money on different things. You're allowed to have a nice car and a small house. That's fine. But, like, if I have to sit through and watch you guys choose some lame-ass house, because you're like, well, money's really tight for us.

7:55Ben Mandelker: Sell your fucking Range Rover and get a nicer house. I'm sorry. I don't want to hear it.

8:00Ronnie Karam: Well, yeah. I mean, especially when the house is that cheap and the Range Rover is that much. That car's as much as the house.

8:06Ben Mandelker: Exactly. Exactly. They're driving around at a Range Rover and then they have the balls to come on television and complain about the price of like the first house they look at. It's actually like an okay home. And it's like a steal. Honestly, I really compared to maybe I'm just like used to LA prices where everything is so vastly overpriced. But I think for like$230 ,000 or$250 ,000, really not so bad. And they're like, I don't know. I'm like, you have a Range Rover. You have a Range Rover. Stop it. Yeah.

8:35Ronnie Karam: But that's such a guy thing too, isn't it? I used to live in East Hollywood and it was all these really fancy cars in front of these really terrible, like run down places because guys just want the car. You know, it was always a guy getting into these cars every single time. So I think that's a guy thing. Like, yeah, you're going to see my car. It's going to get me laid. And then by the time you get to my house, you'll be too embarrassed maybe to leave. Yeah. You know, but then here we go. So we're in Mel and Kyle's kitchen and Mel's kind of the army one, right? I was going to say teacher. He gives me like teacher vibes.

9:10Ben Mandelker: I think Kyle is the army guy because Linda says,

9:15Ronnie Karam: Kyle is the army guy.

9:16Ben Mandelker: Mel is also worried about overspending. so I think Mel is like Kyle is the one who wants to spend a little bit more because he works in the army or the marine yeah so I

9:26Ronnie Karam: do get Mel even though Mel's like an exhausted drag queen I kind of get him because Kyle goes how was your walk and he's like exhausting I

9:34Ben Mandelker: hate walking I knew you'd love that opening never had a house hunters open on such a like such a deep sigh it's like oh I just went well I just like why did you go for the walk then how was your walk exhausting because you know he says that with everything oh how was your pancake exhausting you know i don't even like pancakes well thanks mel next time don't order the pancake and don't be jealous about it yeah

10:01Ronnie Karam: um so then we see a picture of them dressed up you know and we see mel and kyle and their interview and mel there it is mel and kylie

10:10Ben Mandelker: that's what they are right there mel and kylie there it's in the name mel and kyle

10:18Ronnie Karam: that's funny so mel's like uh we've been together four years and married for three which is also very quick that's for gay people this is a non-traditional couple lesbian timeline it's not a gay timeline this is very strange yeah that's really short i thought so too and um mel owns a cheerleading gym in florida which boom that explains why he's exhausted

10:41Ben Mandelker: because that is nothing says nothing says someone who is in the work of cheerleading then how was your walk exhausted and kyle's currently in the air force and he's been there for 13 years and

11:01Ronnie Karam: they're looking for a new home in montgomery alabama where he's going to be stationed after Florida. And Mel is like, well, I do a lot of remote work on the computer, a lot of remote cheer work. So I have 18 staff members, and I'm going to come to Florida and work at the gym once a week. So it's only two and a half hour drive, but I'm also a drag entertainer. I do mostly pageants, and they are exhausting. I love pageantry. It brings out my exhaustion.

11:31Ben Mandelker: Kyle's like, and I like painting on a big and small scale, like all types of mediums. To let my mind expand. I was like, wow, when I look at this guy, Kyle, I think, look at this charismatic artist right in front of me. Just nothing but creativity is oozing from every pore that's on screen.

11:50Ronnie Karam: So they own in Florida now, but they're going to keep that house and rent it. But then where is Mel going to stay when he goes back to Florida?

11:58Ben Mandelker: I don't know, but we see a picture of their house in Florida. They're like, well, it's newer construction. this house was so strange. I couldn't even conceive of what was going on with it. I wasn't sure. Was this how the house was built? I guess so. I don't think it had additions. It was like this narrow, tall, it looked like a Lego piece that had fallen over. I was like, what is this house? Can we like stop the show and go into their Florida house? Because I need to see what the layout is on the inside.

12:27Ronnie Karam: Yeah, I didn't understand it either. Was it one of those like tall condo things? It was a condo?

12:32Ben Mandelker: Strange. It was like someone took a tiny house and then clicked and dragged and made it bigger. But it still was like the shape of a tiny house.

12:41Ronnie Karam: That's what I want. I want a big tiny house. That's always been my dream. A big house in the style of tiny house. Like a tiny house, but slightly bigger. Because I need more room than just a tiny house. I mean, I need like an office and, you know, a place for my piano. Like a house. But I just want to call it a tiny house. I want it to fit on a tiny lot and be really cheap.

13:04Ben Mandelker: i just want a cottage it's called a cottage ronnie um so then uh they're saying yeah they have this house and everything but it's like it's it's a house that neither of them wanted they just somehow like i guess they're like well we have to buy and maybe they just bought this house this strange house i can understand i was actually happy to hear them say that they didn't want this house because it was such a strange looking house i was like no one in their right mind would actually voluntarily like embrace this house they they they clearly had to buy this house such a duress it was some strange moment someone you know when they say you'd have to hold a gun to my head i wouldn't do it i think someone held a gun to their head and said buy this house and they're like i guess we have to because well it's because they're cheap asses and the first

13:44Ronnie Karam: thing that came on the market that was new construction they took it because they said they took it because it was new and i get that you know that's me that's that's my kind of thinking there but i didn't think it was so bad especially considering the other houses that we see today i was like that's cute it's like a white stucco condo modern condo type thing is what it look like to me but i don't know maybe i'm remembering it weird well mel sits on the

14:06Ben Mandelker: counter as our note taker points out mel is a counter sitter and don't think i didn't notice that as well he's up there like carol radswell and he's like i'd really like a mid-century modern 70s home you know which really i'd love a peanut butter sandwich that didn't smell like your ass are homes from the 70s mid-century modern i don't know is that still mid-century no no what is it what are they are but mid-century is like 50s 60s 40s maybe even 40s but definitely

14:37Ronnie Karam: 50s yes and it's also a specific style so there's like mid-century right so it's kind of like the houses they see today mid-century modern isn't just anything from the 50s everything in the 50s wasn't mid-century modern it was the modern look that was done in that time right so you know how they had the Jetsons come out I guess in that time did they come out in that time yeah there It was that kind of look. You know, it was like their version of what modern would be was really cool in the mid-century. So that's what that means. But they're just like, they go into anything that's from like not a 1980.

15:13Ronnie Karam: Love it.

15:15Ben Mandelker: It's nuts. What kind of gaze are you? And Mel is like, yeah, I want that mid-century modern 70s home and that bright front door and that 70s groovy little aesthetic on the outside. I'm like, you want to live in a sitcom house. That's what you want. you want to live in Mrs.

15:29Ronnie Karam: Roper's house

15:32Ben Mandelker: which is fine just say it just say you want to be in a sitcom house but he's so obsessed with the door and this also cracks me up is when someone comes on this show and makes such a fuss about a front door as if it's like not easily paintable or replaced it's like oh I don't know I don't know about this door you know

15:49Ronnie Karam: so he wants yeah the doors are all the same they're just painted different colors paint the door people paint the

15:56Ben Mandelker: door no you're saving a lot of money okay like how about trade in your range rover get a kia and use the money that you're saving to get a door and also yeah other things so kyle says so kyle wants

16:11Ronnie Karam: historical whatever that means and his budget is a quarter of a million dollars but mel is only 150 000 and he wants mid-century modern so they're they're not going to agree on anything i mean how how are you a hundred thousand dollars apart does that mean kyle has to pay more that's a lot i

16:29Ben Mandelker: think i think it sounds to me like kyle probably has like a higher paying job i mean he's been working for the military for 13 years i think that's probably gonna pay more than like a cheer

16:37Ronnie Karam: gym i'm sorry to say so kyle is i don't know i feel like cheer people are so rich because those

16:43Ben Mandelker: kids pay a lot of money to be in a cheer gym are rich people sending their kids to like Mel the exhausted cheerleader Mel the exhausted drag queen I need to I know It's like I need to sit on this counter for a second I'm just so exhausted make a triangle or something I'll be with you in a second

17:03Ronnie Karam: Yeah you're all the bottom of the pyramid Figure that out

17:08Ben Mandelker: So they Kyle wants to have More defined spaces Because they'll be more personal for Get togethers uh but mel wants an open concept uh and kyle's like well you said you want to do renovations right and i was like to some degree it's like well you can blow out a wall that's your renovation and make it an open concept if you want it's kind of like if you really if you really want to you really say that you're serious about renovations then you better renovate to an open concept but right now i want walls yeah so kyle's like well if we have a house that's defined

17:44Ronnie Karam: can you just blow out one wall? And he's like, um, yeah, it's a$150 ,000 house or a$250 ,000 house. Cause if it's$250 ,000, there will be no walls being blown out. Okay. And you'll be riding to work on a bicycle cause we won't be able to afford a Range Rover.

18:02Ben Mandelker: Yeah. Like it's listen, the gig is up. We saw the Range Rover on TV. Okay. You were trying to hide it, but we saw it. So Kyle's like, well, okay, well, well we need three or four bedrooms cause my, I need my art studio and it's gotta be bigger than you know than 10 by 10 that was we had the other place so essentially he needs an art studio mel needs a drag room and um they just need a lot of space

18:27Ronnie Karam: or gowns and that's so that's a happy couple to me if you're just like you get your own drag room and i get my own um art room i think that's a good that's a good couple to me you know yeah because i feel like most of these couples are like well i need an office well i do too i get the office you know they're fighting and this couple's like no we want it all yeah i mean hey

18:48Ben Mandelker: might as well if you can get a big house for cheap and you can get room like each person gets room for their hobby that is the dream you know yeah knowing to have to like take over like the like the shared area to do your thing like whenever i play board games i feel bad because i feel like you know i've taken over the entire like dining room area and like if dom wants to have a friend they have to be in a different space than the games where the games are yeah because well we've well we've i mean they can they they can't use the table because i'm using the table

19:20Ronnie Karam: yeah well that's true yeah yeah uh so you bad couple bad couple this couple's a good couple you guys bad couple no just kidding or hey he and his friend can play some some games with

19:32Ben Mandelker: they do that they can yeah once in a blue moon that does happen but usually they go off to like they'll either watch tv on the sofa i'm just saying when you have a public if when you're in a couple and you have like like public space like there's you know someone's usually going to use it and so it's good to have it's good to have dedicated spaces for your hobbies that way

19:53Ronnie Karam: yeah the public spaces can still remain open yeah so um he needs a drag room because he's got over 500 gowns, which is crazy. You know, it's okay. Wait, does he say 500 gowns? No, 100 gowns. But that's still a lot. That's a lot of gowns. Like, it's okay to, you know.

20:14Ben Mandelker: Donate.

20:16Ronnie Karam: Yes. I'd love to see that

20:18Ben Mandelker: thrift store. Drag store's in need. Drag queen's in need.

20:21Ronnie Karam: Yeah. Yeah. Like, your teacher in third grade just shows up wearing, looking like Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz with a g-string like wait a minute um so kyle's like yeah i love kitchens i took some interior design courses so listen i know the value of an upgraded appliance and granite countertops like wow that's what they taught you in design course granite countertops and appliances huh

20:50Ben Mandelker: yeah well congratulations because he took a few courses somewhere uh he now knows that like good appliances are nice.

21:01Ronnie Karam: And he also wants a fenced backyard, period, for the dogs. Okay, well. Do we see the dogs? Do the dogs exist? Are there dogs? We haven't seen the dogs.

21:13Ben Mandelker: No, we didn't get to meet the dogs. I feel like they're an illusion. So Mel says, you know, I think that what's also at stake is that there's distance between us, between my business and going back to Florida. I want to find a home that's, you know, home. like okay okay then we meet um stephanie schultz who's their real estate agent she sort of has countess luan face but she also has this like bright blonde hair but like dark brown eyebrows and it's like uh it's it's a look that she's going for well i like that stephanie showed up

21:44Ronnie Karam: to show them how drag eyebrows are done because these are some drag queen eyebrows this was serious stephanie's like i'll show you drag bitches let's do it well they're looking for

21:56Ben Mandelker: a place in downtown Montgomery where there's entertainment that they're going to ruin by walking in and sighing and saying that they're exhausted. Also, they can be close to Kyle's Air Force Base.

22:08Ronnie Karam: If you look up there, there's a governor's mansion that was built in 1907. I'll tell you, there's a bunch of fun history attached to that.

22:19Ben Mandelker: And they're like, oh my god, the governor's in this neighborhood? I love that. Oh my god. Okay, Governor Braggor. He's gonna be like, yeah we live near the governor everyone's gonna be like not sure i'm gonna brag about that but

22:32Ronnie Karam: sure sure go ahead yeah um so they're super excited i'm looking up alabama governor k ivy

22:40Ben Mandelker: k ivy listen she is she's she's she's a little old lady hey ivy

22:51Ben Mandelker: I love the younger photo of Kay Ivey She's definitely Kay Ivey

22:56Ronnie Karam: Well Alabama's existing state laws And 2006 constitutional amendment Banning same sex marriage Are no longer enforceable Okay well there we go Okay Okay I don't need to get into Alabama law But I was going to blame Kay Ivey for something But so far I can't find any On my tiny little microscopic search. I couldn't find anything too bad. But she does have good Meemaw hair. She really

23:24Ben Mandelker: does. And like the pictures of Kay Ivey through the years is pretty amazing. She is like she's got full on Meemaw hair. She is like a Meemaw hair pioneer almost. Like she is, or she's not a pioneer but she definitely goes in like the annals of like great Meemaw hairs of all time.

23:42Ronnie Karam: Yeah, she does. Okay, so that's her. So congrats. You got a hot neighbor, guys. K-I-V. So Mel is very excited about the governor.

23:52Ben Mandelker: You know what I like about K-I-V? You say her name, it just sounds like three letters strung together. It's pretty cool.

23:59Ronnie Karam: K-I-V. Yeah. So it's only seven minutes to base, and the house today just came on the market, and it's priced at$2.35. And Mel's like, oh, my God, that's out of our price range. What the hell? I'm exhausted.

24:14Ben Mandelker: Do you want to live near K-I-V or not? Okay. Like, you don't get to live next to the governor of Alabama, you know, by paying 30 cents a year. Okay? Like, come on. You got to pony up if you want to be in Kay Ivey's circle.

24:28Ronnie Karam: It's not cheap to live in the same neighborhood as Power Meemaw. So you better get your shit together, Mel.

24:34Ben Mandelker: All right? It's called Power Meemaw, not Discount Meemaw. Okay? Sell him that Range Rover and you could be all in.

24:41Ronnie Karam: So Kyle likes the curb appeal because it has craftsman style. And Mel's like, oh, my God, it's thin glass windows? Yeah. They're really overselling this. Let me just tell you they're overselling this already.

24:52Ben Mandelker: Well, my standards, we are only on the first house, but by this point in the episode, my standards had already dropped so low for these guys and this neighborhood and everything that I was like, this is actually kind of cute. You know, it's like an old house, old craftsman style house. I was like, not bad, not bad.

25:08Ronnie Karam: I think this one ultimately was the best because of the craftsman, at least owed to craftsman. But the problem that all three houses have is that they were bought and flipped really cheaply. And you can tell the super cheap flips because everything is gray. And then all the floors are redone and really, well, not all the floors. One of them had original floors, but most of them are just, you know, the cheapest tile you can get at Home Depot and the cheapest LVP you get at the Home Depot that's also gray. It's depressing. It's depressing that they would do that to a craftsman. Come on, man. Yeah, these were all very depressing houses.

25:42Ben Mandelker: And like, we just knew this was gonna be a depressing, we knew it was gonna be a depressing episode because like the budget is so low and I just felt like this I was like this is not you just know when you're gonna get what depressing house hunters episode so they walk in place is built in 1914 and Stephanie is saying she's like this place has got a lot of character it's a really fun house I'm like well I wouldn't look at this old craft and be like what a fun house but I would definitely it does it has character it does have that stained glass and everything it's like tall ceilings and Mel loves the tall ceilings he's like oh I am in heaven how tall are these things I love how open it is and she says you know it's a bit of a challenge finding them a home and finding that perfect balance between the two of them compared to what's available on the market because you know we got the historical character that Kyle is looking for then we got the open concept and modern amenities that Mel is looking for and then the considerations that they only want to spend $10 so it's basically what we're looking for is like two branches with a tarp hanging over it but somehow this house qualifies for their search

26:48Ronnie Karam: but I'm a little confused because I don't think this was an open concept house wasn't this all rooms? it wasn't but it was saying it's open concept because it was not open concept

26:57Ben Mandelker: it was tall so it had the illusion of space so Mel is like oh my god it's tall so it feels airy but it was

27:05Ronnie Karam: but they literally kept saying over and over it's open concept it is not it's not why don't you guys know

27:12Ben Mandelker: simple terms but it had like so it had some open ish elements like there was a kitchen that flowed into like a dining area that flowed at the living room but it had like little mini walls but it wasn't open concept i think the way we think of open concept so there was some openness to it

27:29Ronnie Karam: yeah okay so kyle's like it's a little too open because kyle likes walls and so mel's like but there's a half wall there and he's like okay well thanks for the half wall um so mel to mel this is everything he wants and everything he needs and so they look around they've got an exposed brick fireplace that um i think is okay i mean it's just all gray gray gray gray gray gray gray gray

27:56Ben Mandelker: the floors don't match it's like there's one floor in one area then we go to another area it's like a different floor and then another area there's another floor floor which actually does not bother me that much i'm not like a floor purist like that like i can have mismatched floors but i know that's a real it's a real sticking point for probably most people yeah well my problem with

28:17Ronnie Karam: it was that they're all new floors too like they're all none of them are the original floors they're all cheap floors so if you're going to do cheap ass floors at least do them consistently you know i mean it's not it's normal if you have a different one in the kitchen but what i what i

28:30Ben Mandelker: thought was weird was that then we go into the kitchen and there's this island and the island has a totally different countertop than the counters the counters have granite but then the island has some sort of like wooden like herringbone thing I was like what were people thinking

28:44Ronnie Karam: that was crazy yeah they had ugly countertops and then they had an even uglier wood herringbone it just looks so crazy and Kyle loved it he's like I love this I love the herringbone okay well you know what herringbone is so that's good and you like to say it but this is ugly. It doesn't match. But I do like Stephanie because she's trying to be so positive because they're so negative. So she goes, oh, well, you'll really like this. Okay, this is the kitchen. Now this is where you're going to do your cooking and your eating. Oh, thanks. Thanks for the insight.

29:23Ben Mandelker: So then they go to the backyard. She goes, well, here, everyone, the backyard is huge. And I heard you mention pets and there's not much grass space i mean basically this looks like just like a big pit of dirt you know but if you think about it it could be grassy if you actually have a pet but you know you can make it

29:40Ronnie Karam: work right yeah so they look at a guest room and there's a little fireplace there and um they see there's deer on the face of the fireplace like artwork and carl's like oh my god is that a deer Two deers. Three deers. And Mel's like, I don't like deer.

30:00Ben Mandelker: Okay. Well. Who says that? An exhausted, sheer queen. He just went walking. He doesn't like deer because he sees them walking around so much. Look at the way they walk. It's exhausting just watching them. So much energy.

30:15Ronnie Karam: So they look at the next guest room. And that's fine. And Mel's like, this is an art room, you know, for all your painting. It has good lighting. And he's like, well, but where's your drag room then? And he goes, that first one off the staircase. Easy access. Don't have to wheel my wigs all the way back here. So you take the wheel room. You have fun with your wheeling back and forth your art that nobody buys.

30:39Ben Mandelker: God forbid I have to put a wig on a rack and wheel it down the hallway a little bit. I'm exhausted. Just think about it. It's almost as bad as walking.

30:49Ronnie Karam: Yeah. So the primary bedroom, Mel walks in and goes, oh, my God. this is huge it's not and um it also has a fireplace there are fireplaces all over this house which would lead me to the question is there insulation in this yeah i'm not sure i'm

31:04Ben Mandelker: not sure that there is so then the bathroom has like a jacuzzi style bath and shower and like a walk-in closet and everything and a shower they they'll they like how big this bathroom is and everything and there's like a laundry room and and then they go down the staircase and mel is like this staircase is so grand. I'm like, Mel, how many staircases have you been, have you gone down? This is a pretty, this is a bad normal staircase. He's like, wow, what does the staircase look like in your janky Florida house? Because I'm afraid you have been, your bar has been lowered by the, by the architecture.

31:42Ben Mandelker: Okay. Like you, you need to get out more.

31:45Ronnie Karam: Stephanie's like, doesn't walking down it make you feel sort of elegant? He goes, yeah I feel like I live next door to the governor

31:53Ben Mandelker: he really has the dream this is like the equivalent of like being next to a celebrity this is like Heather DeBerro living next to Drake he's like I'm living next to Kay Ivey

32:06Ronnie Karam: so now Mel's like well I didn't think I'd like it but it surprised me it's not mid-century modern but that grand entrance with the grand staircase yeah I could see this but The big issue is price. Dun, dun, dun. So now they look at the foyer living area and stuff, and they love the fireplaces. They love the openness. Kyle doesn't like the openness. He's like, I want short ceilings and walls. Yeah, that's all he wants.

32:34Ben Mandelker: Nice cramped area like any artist would.

32:38Ronnie Karam: I think he doesn't want to hear Mel complaining from every room that he's in. I think walls are going to come back in style because people realize having open concept. You know, when you see families like, oh, my God, it's open concept. So while I'm cooking, I can watch the kids play. And then they actually get it. And they're like, oh, just want to get away from these fucking kids. Like, get me in the kitchen and shut the door.

33:00Ben Mandelker: Well, he also probably wants walls because he can hang his hideous art on it. Because that's one thing. I have an open concept. And one thing that I've discovered is that there's actually not a lot of wall space for it to put stuff up. Like, wow, it really. There's a lot of windows. Those windows chew into a lot of the wall space. So he's probably thinking, I've got art. I want to hang it. I've got nowhere to hang it if it's all open concept.

33:26Ronnie Karam: What do you think his art is like? I think he probably makes like Georgia O 'Keeffe type flowers that look like vaginas. But then instead of just being vaginal, there's like hidden words like gross.

33:38Ben Mandelker: They showed his art at the end. It was not a triumph for me personally. I'm sure it would do well.

33:43Ronnie Karam: It was not a triumph. What was it?

33:45Ben Mandelker: I just remember it was just sort of just like tacky pop art kind of stuff. It was like good in the sense that like it was, it didn't look like, you know, a five-year-old that it was, it was like clearly someone with like skill of like being able to like, like has an image in his head and is able to execute it on a canvas. It just, to me looked like the kind of art you see in Palm Springs.

34:06Ronnie Karam: Oh, it's great for some people. Yeah. I'd probably like it then. I like that kind of stuff. So let's see. So they're talking about what needs work. They need to refinish the floors. They think that'll be around five grand. They like some of it, you know. But now I was fine with the price because he's rich as hell, everybody. And Mel's like, do you have anything else? Possibly mid-century modern vibes.

34:31Ben Mandelker: So now they go off to house number two and they're driving along. And they're like, Mel's like, well, this neighborhood's promising so far. I mean, like now that over there, that's mid-century. That reminds me of something out of a movie. And it's just like a house that's just like, it's just as generic of a house as you can imagine. It's like when you were a kid and you draw a house, and it would be like a rectangle with like a trapezoid on top. Like that is what this house looked like. And he's like, wow. It's just like, it's like stepping into Mad Men. I don't think this is that mid-century modern.

35:07Ben Mandelker: It's just mid-century.

35:09Ronnie Karam: Mid-century. But yeah. So Kyle, this one is 180 grand. And Mel's like, okay, well, not going to freak out. We're just looking. We're just, you cannot complain about$180 ,000 house or not on my watch.

35:24Ben Mandelker: Yeah. So it was built in 1956. So the timeline is really strong. And so they drive up and Stephanie's like, ha, what'd you think about, think upon pulling up? And he's like, well, I don't know if I really love this dress. I think her ensemble yesterday was better. No, about the house, you dummy. Not me. I'm not on sale here.

35:43Ronnie Karam: He says it's not mid-century on the outside, which is false because it is mid-century on the outside. But it is painted, all the brick is painted white. So I think they're trying to do that farmhouse crap.

35:56Ben Mandelker: But I think, but here's the thing. Like, it's a house from the mid-century. But I don't think that you look at this house and say, like, oh, this is like a, it doesn't look like, I think, the mid-century that they're talking about. Right? I think this is just a generic brick house. And is this is like, like the golden girls house, for instance, I believe that looks like a very mid century house. I, you know, not necessarily an architectural, art, architectural historian, but that, that sort of reads a little bit more mid century, but this just sort of looks like just a brick house. And so even though it is from that era, it's like, I don't know.

36:32Ben Mandelker: It's like, it's really just like not doing very much for me whatsoever. And then he's like, Oh, yeah. door he's like well the front door is kind of meh but that's fixable i'm like are you literally gonna say this on camera it's like a door it's literally a door on a hundred eighty thousand dollar house the five hundred dollars to get a new door and yeah i don't know she's like well

36:53Ronnie Karam: this is a mid-century ranch okay so maybe it's not what you're looking for but there's some good features okay this one's 1800 square feet and um you know mel's liking it well mel doesn't like it because he feels claustrophobic because this one is rooms this everything is separated into a room and it's like i can't deal with this it's claustrophobic i can't live like this yeah he's

37:19Ben Mandelker: he's really having a hard time with that and she's like well a lot of it has to do with the time period of when it was built because as opposed to now with more open concepts you know that That wasn't a trend.

37:29Ronnie Karam: The problem is it's mid-century. Okay. What do you want? So, yeah, I think you don't like mid-century. He's like, no, I'm looking for mid-century that I like. She's like, well, there's a fireplace. And they like the mantle, which is like some Hobby Lobby mantle. Yeah. You guys, you got to take this quick. It's only been on the market a couple of days. Why are both houses only on the market a couple of days? What's happening in this town? Where's everybody going? I know.

37:58Ben Mandelker: Um, yeah, this is, I think if I were just to get something mid century, I'd be like, okay, I want you to watch any episode of Mad Men, uh, in Don Draper's, uh, apartment with a sunken living room. Just find me that. Find me a builder who will just build me that apartment. Even if it's a house, I'll just pretend it's apartment because I've been obsessed with that apartment for like 15 years now. And I was just like, that would be my dream of space. Do you remember that? Did you watch, you watched Mad Men? Oh yeah, of course. Remember that apartment? Remember how amazing that apartment was with the sunken living room?

38:30Ben Mandelker: That's where she's saying,

38:31Ronnie Karam: PC, PC, PC, PC, PC, PC. Whatever it was. And he's like, you slut. That wasn't good. Why are you embarrassing me in front of my friends? Oh, mad man. So there's popcorn ceilings. They don't like that. And Stephanie, there's some weird light in it. It's like it looks like a floor fan that they nailed to the ceiling.

38:53Ben Mandelker: it's an actual it's like a ceiling fan but it doesn't have like um it doesn't have like the like the propellers so it's just like the aged it's it's it's very strange and this is one thing where i do think the the guys have a right to be like what the fuck is that but then they're like oh my god popcorn ceilings i'm like yeah you're buying 180 000 house from 1956 you're gonna get popcorn ceilings get a scraper and scrape it off it's okay so um there's new tile floors it's ugly

39:22Ronnie Karam: tile but it's there and they basically just don't like this one there's a guest room it's small and they keep saying it's small and mel's like well is this the drag room or the art room it's gonna be one of them guys that's basically what they say to every room they go into they're like i need a drag room i need an art room and kyle has very big canvases so who's gonna win this one guys nobody knows but mel thinks this is like his grandma's house you know why because

39:49Ben Mandelker: you want to live in a mid-century house yeah this is this is like the here it is again like i want

39:56Ronnie Karam: to live in a place from my childhood but he is um as they walk into the bathroom which is the only original thing it's got all like the blue tiles and the blue i mean it looks like it's straight out of that time period and most people who are looking for this would walk into that bathroom and be like this is perfect this is exactly from that time period i want this and they're like

40:17Ben Mandelker: ew it's like my grandma's this is disgusting i know um so then they are looking at a guest bedroom and mel's like now this this is a drag room i can imagine putting on a wig here and then sitting down and sighing because i'm tired and then after a nap i get up put my heels on another nap and hours later i make it to the club this room is perfect yeah but why can't it be an art room i

40:45Ronnie Karam: I mean, I could have art in here. He's like, no, it's a drag room. No, it's an art room. So then they look at the main, and this is, I mean, it's all fine. It's all ugly. Let's be honest. It's all ugly. So then they look at the living room, and this one has hardwood floors, the original, so that's nice. And they do have fireplaces, and they like the size of the kitchen, but there's not an island in the kitchen. Don't, don't, don't.

41:09Ben Mandelker: No island. Meanwhile, you can just go to Ikea and get one for like$200. but and in fact even Kyle says that he's like well it's okay we can get an island in there we can buy it something we could easily put in you know but Mel's like but you know it just doesn't give me mid-century modern from the outside like the openness it just doesn't give me that you know which I think

41:30Ronnie Karam: is fair finally a fair point so now they're driving in the car talking about it and Linda's like Stephanie found them another ranch with more of the features Mel likes on the inside but will he be willing to pay for it and will they have a drag room or an art room so let's see this is 15 at all no i think he doesn't have to by the end isn't he like i don't do shit now

41:58Ronnie Karam: you know kyle's making all this yeah so um they're talking about an upcoming pageant and mel's like yeah you know if i don't win i don't get to go to nationals so i need you to paint me um a talent backdrop, I need it to be huge and I need it to have my name in lights.

42:16Ben Mandelker: We're like backdoor launching some pilot about Mel's journey going to national drag pageantry championships.

42:28Ronnie Karam: How do you do that? You can just put up your own backdrops? That's cool. I guess. Pulls it out of a little away suitcase. He's got his backdrop. Unfolds. Steam the backdrop. Kyle painted it.

42:41Ben Mandelker: so um this this next house is going to be a ranch style with mid-century modern details and it's listed at 194 so or really it's 194.9 it's really 195 000 which is um you know it's a little high for mel but it still seems dirt cheap overall um and so they go in this is another ranch house and And it has a blue door, which I think they like. I think Mel does not like the red brick, but he likes the door. In fact, he goes, ooh, I love the door. So, I mean, what else do you even need to look at at this point? The door looks great. Exactly. He loves the door.

43:21Ronnie Karam: But then I got so mad because he goes, yeah, this red brick, I guess we'll paint that right. No, you're saying you want a mid-century home. And you didn't like the last one that was just like this one because it was painted. So come on, man.

43:35Ben Mandelker: They look identical on the outside except for the color scheme.

43:39Ronnie Karam: Crazy. So, yeah, he loves the door. So we're done here. So they look at the living room and there are some mid-century features, guys. They come in and there's kind of like a shelf thing that's in there. And she's like, yeah, that's a built-in. That's original. So nailed it. Stephanie, eyebrows out. Eyebrows out.

43:59Ben Mandelker: And there's some sort of chair rail. And Kyle's like, yeah, just rip that out. rip it out like whatever get rid of it so then the kitchen this i actually thought this house this third house was so generic like i actually don't remember much of it because it was so generic i remember watching it and being like i'm not going to remember what this house looks like because this is just so it was so meh to me they go to the kitchen the kitchen is it doesn't have a range it has an area where you put a range in but there is no range and so this is this is obviously going to be an issue for them.

44:33Ronnie Karam: But it will come with one, she says. But still, they can't get over it. She's like, they haven't got it yet, but they are going to get a new range to put in here. And Kyle's like, but I've taken design classes and kitchens have ranges.

44:46Ben Mandelker: He literally goes, this isn't a chef's kitchen, though. I'm like, you're not a chef, and this isn't a chef's house. Do you see the house that you've decided to look at? And you're like, where's the chef's kitchen?

44:56Ronnie Karam: You don't get a chef's kitchen for$190 ,000. It's a little brick house.

45:01Ben Mandelker: And you're like, where's my Sub-Zero? They didn't have a Sub-Zero in here.

45:06Ronnie Karam: Yeah. So now we check out the next room. Oh, Mel goes, well, would they be willing to negotiate the price given that we'd have to buy appliances? She said they're going to provide the appliances and a cheap-ass range from Hope Depot is$500. How much money do you think you're going to get taken off?

45:25Ben Mandelker: You already have a Range Rover, okay, and they'll be providing you a range, so don't worry about it. So they look around and Stephanie just keeps on saying this this place this room has a lot of mid-century details. She just sort of like generically saying it. But there's like a slow deal. She's just trying to sell it. She's like, please take this brick house. It's been on the market for 10 years. But it has, you know, they like the flooring in the den. So that's nice. Goes outside.

45:52Ronnie Karam: The backyard is depressing. And it's, you know, the fence is falling apart and everything. And Kyle's like, yeah, not closed off, not closed off. So install gate,$1 ,000 estimated. Man, things are cheap over there because that's not$1 ,000. I can tell you that.

46:12Ben Mandelker: A gate should a lot more. That's crazy that a gate would be more expensive than$1 ,000 just to put on a gate to close off the backyard. It's wild.

46:19Ronnie Karam: Well, they have to repair the fence and stuff too, right?

46:23Ben Mandelker: Yeah, I guess so. Well, Mel, at one point. Fences are expensive. Yeah, you were telling me that. So then at one point there's a dog that's barking and Mel goes, you hear the dog barking? There's dogs in the neighborhood. So that's good. Like, wow. What can you believe it? That's refreshing. There's dogs in a neighborhood. I never. Wait a second. This is one of those suburbia where people have dogs. I can't believe it.

46:46Ronnie Karam: We'll take it.

46:47Ben Mandelker: We'll take it.

46:48Ronnie Karam: There's dogs in the neighborhood. And also usually people go into there. There's dogs barking. Gross. I'm not listening. I'm not going to listen to dogs bark all day. Take me somewhere else. You know, but they're like, love it. There's dogs.

46:59Ben Mandelker: Could you imagine a world with a cul-de-sac and a sidewalk where people actually walk dogs? I've never even heard such a thing. I've never heard all those ostriches around.

47:13Ronnie Karam: Where's the rhinoceros part? So now it's time for bedroom number one and the inevitable argument. Is this the drag room or the art room? I need it for my drag. I need it for my art.

47:26Ben Mandelker: The age old dilemma. It rears its ugly head yet again. Art room or drag room. So then they go into another room that looks pretty much the same one, like the same room is like, oh, well, this will be the drag room.

47:38Ronnie Karam: I'm like, I literally don't want an art room or an art room. Oh, what about a room for the dog?

47:43Ben Mandelker: Because this is a dog neighborhood.

47:46Ronnie Karam: Let's let the dog decide.

47:49Ben Mandelker: Eeny, meeny, miny, paw. so then they um there's this room has like a little nook that has a window which would be good for mel to have good lighting while he gets into drag so so that's good for him and there's double sinks in the bathroom which is exciting for them um but the tiles are in bad shape and that will cost $500 up to$500 to clean the tiles. So something to be considered.

48:18Ronnie Karam: Okay. So now they go to a bar and they order drinks and they recap all the houses, you know, all that good stuff. Which one did you like? The first one. I thought the first one was the best.

48:29Ben Mandelker: I think it seemed large and I did actually, I thought the layout was fine, even though the floors that was some jankiness with the floors and I also thought there was some jankiness that that kitchen island situation bothered me, but I felt like overall it was i felt like it was a good mix between closed and open and i thought i had character and it just was it just was nicer the other two houses were genuinely depressing for me what about

48:55Ronnie Karam: you i feel the same way yeah these the the last two were just sad you know but the first one was

49:02Ben Mandelker: at least interesting and on top of that at 235 000 it's actually below the 250 000 budget and they could probably negotiate it down a little bit. So I felt like it was kind of, to me, I felt like when I was watching the other two houses, we were just treading water because they were obviously going to take the first one.

49:23Ronnie Karam: But they took the ugliest one, which was house number two. Of course. I don't know why I was surprised. They took the worst one. The worst. And Mel's like, yeah, it was just a blank canvas for my art room. Okay. We get it, honey. So once he made it, to see that it could work. So now we see before and after pictures. And I have to say, I was impressed with their decor. I mean, it looked kind of cute in there. I was not expecting it to. No, I hated it. I mean, it was tacky, but compared to what it could be, compared to their taste level that I've seen so far, I was worried. And I was like, oh, that's not safe.

49:59Ben Mandelker: I did not like, I thought they did one room well. They did like, I think the front room where they painted the fireplace green. And I liked that. I thought that room was well done. But there was one room that had like some also some sort of strange shade of green in the background. And there's just I did not like this. I did not like what they did with it. And then when they showed the art, I was like, no, thank you, ma 'am. And I was happy for them. Like I like like you said, I like that. There's one's doing art, one's doing drag. I think that's great. But I did not love their choices that they made.

50:34Ben Mandelker: It was not.

50:35Ronnie Karam: Yeah, and then Mel puts on his big blonde wig, and he looks like the lady who works at the Target on La Brea. You know which lady I'm talking about? Yes, I do. Who I always thought would be a fabulous drag character. But his version is just exhausted. So that's fun. And you guys, they did it. They did it. They got a house. Now we find out that he is able to work and keep the gym and he can be here and be a house husband, which, you know, he likes. There you go.

51:09Ben Mandelker: Well, look, they got the best of all worlds. They got a house that works for them. They've got a house in Florida and they get to keep the Range Rover, you know. So, hey, you know, live your bougie lives. Yeah, that's all you need at the end of the day, you guys. Yeah. You get to follow your hobbies, be with your hubby, drive an overpriced car. So enjoy. Enjoy all those expensive things. expensive parts you'll need on that range river when it breaks down. Yeah.

51:34Ronnie Karam: All right, everybody. Well, thanks for being with us for another episode of Dwell. Hello. We'll see you in a couple of weeks. Bye, everyone.