Zheng Yi Sao

0:00This BBC podcast is supported by ads outside the UK. I am Nina Khrushcheva, the great-granddaughter of Nikita Khrushchev, the leader of the Soviet Union in 1962. And I'm Max Kennedy, the nephew of U.S. President John F. Kennedy. We explore what was a terrifying moment in history. The story of the Cuban Missile Crisis. How close the world came to nuclear war. And what they had to do to pull it back from the brink. The bomb, Kennedy and Khrushchev. All episodes available now, wherever you get your BBC podcasts.

1:01and pirates of all, was a woman from 19th century China, pirate queen Zhong Yisao. Now, we don't know much about Zhong Yisao's early life, but her birth name was probably Shuyang, and she was born around the year 1775. She was quite poor and lived in a part of China called Guangdong, right by the sea. It wasn't very nice. There was lots of fighting and a terrible cost of living crisis. Fishermen and boatmen in her neighbourhood often had to make up the extra money by getting second jobs. As part-time pirates. So, what attracted you to the role of weekend pirate? Honestly, I just really need the money.

1:49Fair enough, you're hired. Grab a sword and don't get too attached to your limbs.

1:55Xu Yang lived under the rule of the Qing Empire and women did not have a lot of power. By 1801, in her mid-twenties, she had a job on a boat where men would pay ladies for their company. She also made extra money by selling secret information that her important clients would tell her in confidence. While doing this work, Xu Yang met a well-known pirate named Zhongyi and they got married. She was now known as Chung Yi Cao, which basically means the wife of Chung. She was going up in the world. Sure, the Qing government didn't let women get jobs in admin. Stop that! But Chung Yi Cao was incredible at admin.

2:38I'll show you. Yep, the one thing you need to be a really good pirate isn't singing shanties or keeping a parrot. It's actually management skills and paperwork. Watch out! That's the most fearsome pirate of all! What's she packing? A cutlass? A rifle? Worse, it's a spreadsheet! Oh, Lord, no! Mr and Mrs Chung-Yi got all the part-time pirates and smugglers to join a unified pirate confederation. At one point, they had a workforce of 70 ,000 pirates. Imagine the queue in the canteen at lunchtime. To help organise the massive pirate fleet, the ships were split into six squadrons. Black, white, green, blue and yellow.

3:31I mean, that's how you identify power rangers, not pirates. I suppose sometimes simpler is better. Any ideas for squadron names? Oh, body parts, shapes, emotions, body parts. You already said body parts. Types of cloud, body parts, colours. That's it. Body parts? Colours. Do you just really want to chop someone up? Yeah. Go on then. Oh, thanks boss. The Pirate Confederation dominated the South China Sea, which was 3.5 million square kilometres of sea. A lot of sea. And it bordered eight different countries. Bit bigger than your usual pirate treasure. No. No. Yeah. Arr, welcome to Pirate Show and Tell.

4:20Here be a shiny doubloon from my summer holidays. Ha! That's nothing. I got all of the South China Sea. Arr, a show-off TV, Zhong Yi Cao. Things were going great for the Chong's. Yar. Until 1807, when Mr Chong did what pirates did best. Get blown up by a cannon. Well, it was either that or he got blown off the deck by a storm. Either way, it was a very piratey way to die. Um, Mrs Boss, the bad news is your husband is dead. No! The love of my life, my pookie boo, is the worst day ever. Yeah, I know. The good news is it looked really cool and piratey. Oh, phew! I was worried it was that mouldy egg he ate.

5:14Chung Yi Cao was now a widow. which was actually a brilliant opportunity for her. She ensured she was made the big boss by getting the support of the other powerful pirates. She also filled her husband's empty slot as head of the powerful Red Squadron with a young man called Chong Pao. Now, Chong Pao is where our story goes from savvy business dealings to full-on soap opera. Chong Pao was very loyal to Chung Yi Sao because after being abducted by pirates when he was just 15, he sort of became her adopted son. Ooh! Yeah, a bit complicated. And the newly widowed Chung Yi Sao made it even more complicated.

5:57To ensure he was even more loyal to her, she married Chong Pao. Ooh! Weird marriage aside, Chung Yi Sao had a management style that was incredibly effective. Hi, I'm Zhong Yi Sao, CEO of Pirates. What are my top tips for keeping staff motivated at work? 1. If they don't do what they're told, kill them. 2. If they steal, kill them. 3. If they bunk off work, issue a stern warning by cutting off their ears. 4. Dress down Fridays. Under Chongi Sao's new laws, pirates also received perks like medical care and a pension. Nice! Drowning in debt? Free yourself from spiraling costs by jacking it all in and taking up piracy.

6:51I'm Zhong Yisao, CEO of Pirates. With a small few of your absolute loyalty, I offer competitive pay, healthcare and a pension fund. Your ears and head could be at risk if you do not keep up loyalty to your boss. The pirate confed to you takes no responsibility if you are blown up. There is a small chance I will adopt and then marry you. Zhong Yisao still wanted to expand her empire, and luckily there was a great source of wealth she could go after. Salt by Zhong Yisao.

7:30Exotic. Expensive. Great on crisps. Yeah, salt was really valuable So whenever one of the government's salt shipments tried to sail off to do trade Stick about! Your salt or your land? She'd nick it And not just the cargo actually, the whole ship and crew And she kept doing this until she controlled almost all of the Qing government's salt trade Leaving them with only four salt ships Governor, she took another ship. There's only four left. Oh, the emperor's going to kill me. Oh, well, I'd take that with a pinch of salt. I can't. She stole it all. And it wasn't just salt ships. Pretty soon, Chung-i-sou targeted all kinds of merchant ships.

8:20And flexing her admin skills again, she started selling protection certificates that allowed people to sail past her ships without being attacked. Why are you sick and tired of this happening? No, we're being boarded. Ow, my ears! I'm Zhong Yisau, CEO of Pirates, and I have the solution for a small fee. We will give you this delightful certificate promising you safe passage, either as a pay-as-you-go one-off or an annual subscription. Just visit one of our many offices on the coast and we'll find the right package for you to travel with a peace of mind that we won't tack you to bits. Pirate passes?

9:02Why go to the trouble of be stealing from you when you can simply give me the money? It's just dead business. Yep, she was the pirate queen of admin. Mighty admin smash! Not just admin, mind. And also violence! By 1805, Chung-hee Sao's pirate fleet outnumbered the Qing Empire's whole navy three times over. And they were great at fighting. They would scare their enemies with a massive eight-foot gun called a jingal that needed two people to carry it and a third person to perch it on their shoulder. Stay back, pirate, or I'll shoot. You call that a gun? This!

9:51Hang on a sec, I need a couple of mates to help me here. This is a gun! Hello? Oh, he's gone. Zhongyi Cao's pirates also swam up to their enemies while carrying 50 to 30 feet long poles that had machetes stuck on the end. A bit harder than diving for a brick at the bottom of the swimming pool. The pirates were so feared that in 1809, the city of Canton went into a total panic just because Zhang Pao, her young husband slash son, posted notices saying that he intended to attack them. Very polite of him to warn them, though. Dear people of Canton, just a little note to say that we would simply love to invade you with our massive guns, so you might want to think about surrendering.

10:39No worries if not. Love and kisses, Chong Pao. He's being considerate. Run away! Eventually, the Chinese government realised they couldn't deal with Chong Yisao alone. After trying a coastal blockade to cut off her supplies, they got help from other countries with massive fleets. Ships getting stolen? Called Pirate Control, a.k.a. the Portuguese Navy. And the British. But even with outside help, some of China's Navy were so scared of the pirates that they would destroy their own ships rather than fight them. Sir, the pirates are coming. Men, draw your blades and help me cut a massive hole in this ship's hull.

11:28So how do you stop someone so savvy and ferocious? Well, by 1810, Zhong Yisao had stolen so much stuff that the Chinese government basically said, Oh, please pack it in. We'll give you loads of money. So she and her pirates retired in luxury. Fair play. Stealing ships, ruining international trade and running your own shadow empire must have got tiring. I'm Zhong Yisau, the CEO of Pirates. Is it time for you to slow down? Been offered a huge bribe by the Empire's stop-thieving. Why not book yourself into Pirate Haven Retirement Home for Pirates? Relax in the height of luxury as we're all absolutely loaded now.

12:13Activities include pillagerobics, digging for treasure and pirate bingo. Oh, bingo! Oh, lovely. I won the ears of my enemy. Pirates Haven Retirement. Because if you do it on a big enough scale, crime does pay.

12:32We don't know much about what happened to Chung-i Sao after that. She may have run a very illegal gambling house. I suppose she might have wanted to keep her hand in with a bit of crime as a retirement hobby. I mean, I can't really see her doing watercolours. Oh, that's a nice picture, Zhong Yisao. What is it? Just me and some mates boarding a ship with eight-foot jingles and dismembering a Portuguese captain. Right, we're supposed to be painting flowers, but that's fine. Gold star, carry on. Thank you. Having gone big and then gone home, Chung Yi Sao died in 1844 as a rich old lady, possibly aged about 69.

13:19She was one of the most successful and powerful pirates that ever lived. So, how much do you remember from today's speedy history lesson? Let's find out. Pencils at the ready. Question one. How were Chung Yi Sao's pirate squadrons separated out? By colour. Question two, how could merchant ships avoid pirate attack from Chung-Yi-Sao? By paying the pirates for a certificate. And question three, what is the name of the massive eight-foot gun that Chung-Yi-Sao's pirates used? Jing-Ao. Well done. Join us next time for another snappy history lesson. And if you're a grown-up and want to learn more about Chung-Yi-Sao, listen to our episode of You're Dead to Me with Dr.

14:06Ron Poe. Thank you for listening. Bye! This was a BBC Studios audio production for Radio 4. Dead Funny History was written by Gabby Hutchinson-Crouch, Athena Kublenu and Dr. Emma Neguse. It was hosted by me, Greg Jenner and performed by Malian Rees and Richard David Kane. The script consultant was Dr. Ron Poe.

14:29I am Nina Khrushcheva, the great-granddaughter of Nikita Khrushchev, the leader of the Soviet Union in 1962. And I'm Max Kennedy, the nephew of U.S. President John F. Kennedy. We explore what was a terrifying moment in history. The story of the Cuban Missile Crisis. How close the world came to nuclear war. And what they had to do to pull it back from the brink. The bomb, Kennedy and Khrushchev. All episodes available now, wherever you get your BBC podcasts.