Boiled Parsnips 50: General Purpose Powder

0:28Hello there, Bob. the one about the legends that does jockey bristow and yeah and phil taylor it's really good that's what i was going to say i was going to recommend it but there you've got in there first dart kings it's called that's it sky documentaries well worth a watch i did i did meet um i don't know whether it comes over in the documentary i did work with derrick bristow once he was difficult difficult fellow I can imagine he will have been yeah probably best to just let that lie because he's no longer with us he's not able to defend himself I'll put it this way often these geniuses are difficult aren't they tortured geniuses well Andrew sorry to interrupt this banter as excellent as it is and it is excellent do you use Sensodyne by the way or do you, you're not bothered what toothpaste you use?

1:26I use Colgate, I always have. Can you see me at all, Andy? I can see you. See, look, can you see me bottom teeth? Yeah. Brand new, what do you reckon? They're brand new. Brand new teeth, yeah. Show us your top ones. Oh, right, so. I'm like a human again. You'd had the top ones done a while ago. Yeah. Is that right? And the bottom ones we've got. And you've been serving up. Been serving me pennies. The bottom ones. I mean, I never wanted to see it, but there was a contrast between the top and the bottom. But that looks great. You look like an American. Thank you. All right, stop doing that now.

2:06Right. So, Andy, Mickey Nixon. You know Mickey Nixon, the borough lad? He's fucking obsessed with safety and that. I mean, I like Mickey, and he sent me one of his safety vlogs, you know. I think it's a vlog. Audio. Is that not a... No, it's not a vlog, is it? anyway so that's a video innit so I don't ask him to send them and I don't know why he does it I mean I don't, maybe he's not got long to live, sometimes when you're knocking on a bit you get a bit obsessed you know you want to get your messages out there I hope that's not the case because it does talk a bit of sense really so here it goes I'll play it for you Alright Mickey Nixon here Yeah, Bob, got some safety observations regarding this horrendous freezing wet weather, you know, we've been experiencing recently.

3:00Black ice, snow, your slush, your howling winds, you know. Been blowing a hooli on it. You know what I'm talking about, don't you? It's nasty out there on the streets of Middlesbrough at the moment. So, pop out the house, let's take a ganja round. Ah, well the first thing I notice is the trees straining in the wind. That beach over there, it's got ivy growing up its trunk, you know, which increases its weight and therefore its chances of falling down get it fucking sliced off. You know what I mean? It comes off quite nicely, your ivy. Also there's a bit of evidence of fungal attack at the base of that beach.

3:45Means it really should be felled. It's sad I know, but it should be. I've told the council but they're too busy printing fucking leaflets about the French food market that's coming up in Albert Park it's got features and appearance by that plastic Bertrand I hope they've got tight security set up for plastic B because a lot of angry boomers in town who's still upset with him about that song I'm predicting quite a lot of shite and rubble will be lobbed at him and a lot will miss because he's a right twitchy French fella you know, little bastard Ah, look at that manhole cover outside the agent you know, the agent who sells the news Ah, it's a bastard in this weather, you know, a manhole like that it ices up, gets as slippy as a porn mag on a bag of better marbles even worse than that it's the amount of shit it attracts you know, from the pit bulls tethered to the bin.

4:48You'll go arse over tit on that. You'll be wearing dog dirt gloves for the rest of your journey. Cover needs salting up. As to all the slip hazards in this area, lack of salt, lack of planning, you know. Oh, hey, up there's Ron Chin, walking like he's just shit a welly.

5:10Probably on his way to B &M, you know, buy some multi-packs of quavers for his wife. and the other adult male that lives with them. Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ, Bob. He's wearing leather-soled shoes now. If that isn't asking for a fall, then I'll tell you I'm Dion fucking Dublin's barber, which I'm not, by the way. He uses Ronnie Dazzle in Droitwich. He used to use hairwear to heaven, but, you know, there went bust when the bust got neck deep into May's futures. Anyway, if he does keel over, I won't be able to help them not with my dodgy knees you know bone on bastard bone at the moment I won't get up if I bend down like before you ask I am wearing a knee brace you know to help support but I hate the bulge it creates in my skinny jeans you know I should know better should take safety first but Ron Ron you don't realise those shows completely inappropriate for these conditions Not your fucking business mate No it never fucking is is it You do realise that if you fall I can't help because I'm born I'm born situation here with my knees And I can't phone for help because The wife's nabbed my phone off me Because I spent last month's disability On tickets for that Lottery for the posh house you know Hey what's in your Claggy bagger on Damp proof liquid there Some cardboard that I'm drying out alright there, where are you off to?

6:44buying them gonna buy a super shake a soaker for the other adult male that lives in the house I will make sure this other male adult doesn't fill the super soaker with dirty water fires at your face, that could lead to an eye infection which could lead to delirium you'll start thinking there's a cloud living under your fucking sink

7:09I don't know, I've lost a bit it says stillborn on fucking born anyway so that must he's got a you know like it's jumped, his thing's jumped, he must have asked Ron how his shoulder was and he says stillborn on fucking born doctor says I should just keep still but there's no future in that when you've got another adult male to care for. Aye, you're not wrong. See you, Mickey. See you, Ron. Oh, look over there, Don Gough, stood on a stepladder, removing the leaves from the front gutter of his bungalow. No one holding the fucking ladder. No gloves to avoid bacteria. And no eye protection. Look, if a bit of poxy bacteria gets under his nails and onto his food, there's a good chance a parasite will get into his brain and interfere with his reasoning.

8:04That's not going to help when he's chosen his lottery ticket cards, is it? Don, Don, come on. Shouldn't you be wearing gloves? Shouldn't you be minding your own business, you naughty bastard? Oh, so yourself. I heard you and your wife went to the community farm to see if you could hear any of the pigs oink. Was a nice day out, was it? Very nice, thank you. Do you want me to talk about the experience? No, not really, Don. Been too much talk about oinks recently Aye How's your days Mickey? Born on born Anyway be safe Don Alright Karen Hey Karen the wheel on your kids boogies Haven't got enough grip for these conditions Could lose control End up in the gutter Could get run over by an e-bike Or an e-scooter And fucking any vehicle really Fuck off Mickey Aye will do Karen have a nice day and keep it safe and that's it that's the end so is that it nice and good I mean my observation is from that that the people who he tries to help don't seem to want his help people yeah people don't these days we live very insular don't we leave me alone they'll regret that I think if something does go wrong and they have an accident but there you go Also, that millionaire house raffle thing.

9:32Any thoughts on that? Well, I have always thought to myself, I presume it's some sort of con. That's just the way I am. It's a load of bollocks. Yeah, it's a load of bollocks. But when I was filming one of the fishing shows down somewhere southwest, somewhere anywhere, by the coast, the bloke who picked us up in the boat pointed to a house and said, that house was won by a bloke on that lottery draw thing. So maybe it's real. I thought they were bollocks until they got the lass who used to be Doctor Who. Recently she was on one of the adverts for it. I thought, ah, it's got to be legit then. Because the lass who used to be Doctor Who I don't think would put her name or something that's dodgy.

10:19So I'll start entering now. I mean, I think with the lottery, haven't you got something like a 1 in 18 million chance or something? Something ridiculous. The National Lottery? Yeah. It's about 1 in 14 million, I think. Yeah, I would imagine at this moment in time there's less people applying for the house, so it might be a better, in fact, could be a better... I think it's a good punt. Yeah, since Doctor Who started advertising it, I'm in. I'm ploughing my money into entries for it, so yeah. Gambling-wise at the moment, I'm concentrating on to be fouled or to foul 10 part acres on a football. I enjoy them very much.

10:59Is that coming in for you regularly or just spices things up? Well, I only bet like 20 pence, 25 pence. Yeah. And I find that the foul one is well worth 25p just to enhance watching the match, looking out for fouls. So I'm enjoying that. And when the fun stops, obviously you stop. You just stop, yeah. You just stay still for a week. What have you got for me, Andy? What's been on your mind? I was just wondering if there's a couple of names I had for you that you might want to consider. Go on, then. Well, we've got the human quarry. Right. He's got a hinged door on the front of his stomach, and you open it up, and inside's a little miniature sandstone quarry.

11:44anyone is free to chip away at it with a metal toothpick or similar quarry a little bit of sandstone from him take it away with you as a souvenir I guess OK, what's his actual name again? What's the name? He's just called the Human Quarry OK, yeah That's what he goes around as He can be the Human Quarry He can be the Jackson 5 So again, it's a fella He's had five different body parts cosmetically adjusted to resemble five famous Jacksons Peter Jackson, Samuel L. Jackson, Glenda Jackson, Chelsea's Nicholas Jackson, and Jackson Brown. Various parts of his body resemble those five people. Vaguely resemble.

12:25If you'd squint from a distance. From behind a locked door, maybe. So you can be the Jackson 5, you can be the human quarry, or you can be honky-tonk. I'm going to be honky-tonk, Andy. Sorry. But thank you very much for the offers. Would you rather But I was talking to my son last night. Would you rather have to live in foil clothing for the rest of your life or sanitised, bleached chicken skin, you know, clothing? Clothing made from chicken skin or your own skin is the consistency of chicken skin? Yeah, I'll tell you what. I'll make it that, yeah. foil please foil fair enough yeah should we have a look at some of the questions from the parsnipers that have come in I forgot here Sarah Hardwick says what will people be nostalgic for in 50 years I reckon championship football that'll have gone yeah damp problems I think we'll probably eradicate dampness I think it's getting worse at the minute.

13:40So many documentaries on BBC One daytime about damp. Rogue landlords and all that. Damp and basically being conned on the internet. It's rife. But I think fidget spinners will probably be the thing they're most nostalgic for. They'll think, oh, they were wonderful. That was a wonderful time with the fidget spinners not realising that, of course, it was just silly. It was just, well, Bovril, maybe. Aye, above will still be gone in 50 years. I don't know. Do you think shops will still be around? Mightn't they have gone? Mightn't they walk in shops? No, everything will get delivered by drones. I reckon.

14:18From units on the edge of town. So there you go. They'll get very nostalgic about walking into shops. They already do if you go on the Sunderland Facebook group. The Sunderland First group. Sunderland History. They'll post a picture of High Street West from 1978 or something with shops and that. and then you just get people, you know, laying into the Labour Council and other vested interests that have emerged over the years. Well, I mean, it is a shame. I spent my childhood, and I'm sure you're the same, wandering around Middlesbrough Town Centre, going in the bookies, going in the toy shops, you know.

14:53Going to Durate Smith, nicking stuff. All that business, yeah. Hi, Bob. Hi, Andy, says Craig Ward. Why am I having to sit down to put my socks on now I'm over 50? Is there any other pleasures I can look forward to? Sadly, there are no other pleasures you can look forward to. It's pretty much downhill. Pretty much downhill. All the way after 50. I mean, the one that gets me at the moment is the exit in a bath becomes very scary. Is that hard now for you? Yeah. And it's a lot of hard shit in a bathroom, you know, that you could fall on. There's so much, yeah. Are you, like, thinking about getting one of them baths that's got the little door on?

15:33I've been thinking about that since I was a kid I've done my other work you've got to sit in the bath and wait for it to drain away before you can open your little door I presume so because you can't climb out can you so you've got to sit there and wait so is it like to get into the bath you've got to go in through the little door and then sit down and then start to fill the bath and just sit there we're now on waiting for it to fill up fuck that honestly yeah fuck that the other one is I don't know it seems to be with my contemporaries you do start waking up at five o 'clock every morning which is a bit of a pain but if you prepare yourself for that you know do you find yourself wanting to go to the toilet in the middle of the night yeah every night is that another one I haven't had that yet but it's coming down the line it's coming it's coming fuck sick Matthew Bailey says a table of six at an Indian restaurant how many poppadoms is acceptable to order with the pickle tray.

16:32My mate insists two each seems excessive. Thank you for your assistance. I agree with his mate, to be honest. I think two each is about right. And any leftover, you could crush them up. Couldn't you? You'd crush them up, use them as a powder. And do what with them? General purpose powder. If you spill lager on the carpet, put some of that GP powder, general purpose poppadon powder, on the spillage, yeah. Ground poppadom. Maybe. Okay. The shame is, when you think about it, though, is I think I'm right in saying this, even if you order, whether you order two poppadoms or 12 poppadoms, you'll still get the same amount of pickle.

17:17That's true. So, you've got to... I don't have six friends who I could go to an Indian restaurant with. I probably have. It's all hypothetical. Yeah. We've got Matt Birkin says, do bats have tails? I would have to Google that. I don't actually know. Matt Birkin. I did choose that one because I was in a bat house last week. I went to Northumberland Zoo, which is just off the year one. In, as the name suggests, Northumberland. Northumberland Zoo. Really, really good. Great day out. Half a day. Two thirds of a day. Well, they've got mainly rodents, like bats and rats and whippets. Owls? There's all sorts.

18:02No, it's really good. Insects, tiny frogs. But I was in the bat house, because the bat house is great. It's massive. It's got all these fruit bats hanging from the ceiling. And a seriously endangered breed. They're called Livingston's Fruit Bats, I think. OK. And this is one of the few places in the world that's breeding them. So that's a nice place to breed bats, isn't it? It is a nice place to do that, yeah. So it's really dark, really hot in there, and I was just watching them hanging from the ceiling, and some of them were fighting, having a little play fight. That was weird. And I was reading the sign about the breeding programme that they're doing, and this voice appeared in my ear.

18:39It just says, seen you. Oh, OK. Jeremy Corbyn. Jeremy Corbyn, yeah. Jeremy Corbyn. I says, hello, hello, Jeremy. He says, look at you there, thinking you're Chris Packham, watching the bats wondering how they have it off. That's what you were wondering, isn't it? I mean, I was. I was wondering that, to be quite honest. He says, they do it at night once we've turned all the lights off, so I don't think you'll get to see any of it. Fair enough, I wasn't bothered anyway. It's probably on YouTube if I want to watch that kind of thing. You know, bats having it off. He says, anyway, what's your best darkness?

19:19Jesus. Best darkness? I don't know. I don't know what that means. Is that length of time spent in the dark? I don't know. Is it the darkness itself? I don't know what he's on about. So I thought, I'll try and go big for once. Because I usually just fucking see anything. I went big. I went 176. Nice. He says, fuck off, liar. Prove it. I says, well, I've got a certificate, but it's in the car. I can go and get it if you want. He says, no, I don't care. Ask me mine. Go on. Ask me my best darkness. I says alright what's your best darkness Jeremy 177 and a half oh he's lying the fucker well exactly a bit more than mine there he says one and a half more that's quite a lot anyway the bat house door opens and in wonders his mate King Charles they're hanging out together again and he says alright Jez who's this then Chris fucking Packham he says It's, no, it's just some squirt who's just looking at the bat sex.

20:23I thought, well, I'm not. I was curious. And he says, get this, Jez. I've been working on a brilliant idea for a TV show. There's this bloke, right? Actually, he's a king. But at night, he turns into a bat and he goes out solving crimes. I call him Bat King. I'm pretty much running the BBC now, so I'll get them to put it on. I says, sorry, hang on, hang on, your majesty. you've just described the Batman character that already exists and has done for a long time. He says, is he a king? I said, no, he's a billionaire, but there you go, they're totally different. I said, you can't just go around nicking superhero characters that are copyrighted and trademarked.

21:06He says, I'm the fucking king now, I can do what the fuck I like. And I just thought, you can't win against these people, Bob. Fair enough, yeah, I agree. You've missed your time. I wandered off to the capabara talk that was starting 10 minutes after. Do you appreciate the capabaras? Is that the big, massive rat? Fucking big guinea pig, basically. Yeah, guinea pig, yeah. You've got an affinity with them, haven't you, Andy? I have, I love them. Doesn't everyone? I mean, Northumberland Zoo, which I don't know whether I believe in or not, but if it does exist, I think it might be a nice place to visit it does exist but it's genuinely a lovely place to visit yeah it's great there you go

21:59British Managers Lunch Club Andrew, can you imagine I was at Rules restaurant in London just after Christmas with Matt Burry the Toaster London just as we were leaving I saw that the British Managers Club BMC was having its end of financial year meeting in one of the booths so I gave Matt a big hug and said goodbye I bet it's a lovely hug that is it the Matt Berry hug's a lovely hug honestly that is a bear hug so I'll tell you how that went that goodbye I said see you Matt and he said see you Bob Went something like that. And I took a seat in the adjoining booth, and I borrowed Matt's beard, by the way, so that they wouldn't recognise me, you know?

22:50Clever. He's clever, isn't he? So there was Big Sam, Steve Bruce, Mark Hughes, David Moyles. Steve McLaren was on Zoom, and Holloway's on Zoom from Dubai. Right. And I won't tell you the other person who was there, because you'll find out when he comes. Went something like that. I hope it's the one I'm hoping for. That's all I'll say. Well, I'll tell you. It's not going to be the one you're thinking. So Big Sam starts things off. Thank you for your attendance this afternoon. Can I just ask, have you all chosen your mains? And everyone nodded apart from Steve McLaren on his Zoom screen. McLaren pipes up.

23:33I haven't. I haven't even seen the menu. You know, which is very upsetting. But you're not even here, Steve. What's the point of showing you a menu? But I feel like I'm being left out Holloway chirps in Well you should have made the effort to turn up shouldn't you? You can talk Holloway You're in fucking Dubai eating the burgers with the gold leaf on Oh now I feel like I'm missing out on the gold leaf burgers This really is upsetting Like when Casper dropped a plop in the ambrosia creamed rice Tough tough just suck it up I would have, but it tasted like monkey sick and they all laughed the joke by Steve there about Casper's Todd Anyway, come on, first item on the agenda is the end of your financials and I'm pleased to report a profit of nine million quid thanks largely to the contribution of Mr David Moyes with his destroy and exit at West Ham Well done, David So, what are your plans at Everton, David?

24:35A simple rinse and repeat? I reckon straightforward bounce and sink you know, get the hopes up saying a new five euro and then shit in the sinks, should be an easy ten mil, money money money money money money money money money money money money they all sing and lick the front of their BMC club badges thank you, thank you David now the second item is the application by Mr Daniel Farker to join our ranks and yes before you start stating the obvious. He's not British. Oh, boo. Boo, Johnny Landy. Boo. All right, all right. Calm down, calm down. So why are you here, Daniel? How to put it simply? I would very much like in on money.

25:27Let me get this right. I would very much like in on the money side of things. You see, I think perhaps I have an opportunity at Leeds to do, how you say, pump and dump. Could be very lucrative. Tell us more, foreign man. Well, I'm confident I can get them promoted this year. And at the very least, demand a three-year. I will be very much out of my depth in the Premier League. So expect to be leathered and sathered well before Christmas. Could be a sweet five mil. so I don't know what you think maybe this could be good for us all Sean Dyche comes and chirps in I'm not sure what does Sean, Sean I'm not sure I'm not sure he's just a lot like Sam Allardyce alright I'll do a bit higher screeding I'm not sure we need you for an involvement this is a British club for British managers how are we even meant to trust you You know, what with the war and all that To be honest Sam I'm just waiting on the call from Chef United And that club is about as rinsible as they come If they don't go up I'll get them up and hit them for a five euro Get them up and destroy an exit by January window We really don't need to destroy the club bloodline Mark Hughes comes in Can I ask Daniel something?

26:55Yes, go ahead Mark I was just wondering, Daniel do either you or your wife wear expensive lingerie you know, the sexy stuff it's often red and lacy I used to as a player but not anymore is that important? It is to me I vote no Alright, what about you Steve Bruce? I just don't know I mean, Daniel, you seem like a nice chap, but the thought of sharing the potty with a foreign just doesn't sit right with me, you know. The thought of it being spent on a sauce, garlic, sausage, sauerkraut, oomph, barf, barf music seems wrong to me, you know. I'd much rather the Dosh went on caravanning like, you know, Toby Carveries.

27:46So for that reason, I'm afraid I'm out. All right, what about you, McLaren, Steve? Well, we've had a look online And Casper would like to have the dirty fries I'll have the fish fingers and beans from the kiddies menu Alright Steve, consider it ordered But what about Daniel, is it a yay or a nay? Oh dear, no offence Daniel But you do look very foreign And if you don't mind me saying a bit grubby-wubby If you'd been wearing like a short-sleeved shirt Slim fit, light blue And a gold button blazer Then that might have swung it I'm sorry Daniel And the very best of luck to you With all your future fucking endeavours Oh well it's a no from me as well I'm afraid Due to the war But also Also because My latest BMW 7 series Has turned out to be a right turkey Oh well It was worth a try Thank you for hearing me out Oh, by the way I would like the gravel burst And Hoffman sausage casserole Oh, I think we've made the right choice lads Can you just leave please Daniel And remember Says Sean Dyche British food is best Best eaten in a vest Pie and peas and gravy And a pepperami for the baby See you Daniel Okay, toodle pip Toodley pip pip Daniel love you to bits and back and at that moment the food arrived Sam, well if there's no other business let's tuck into these rosemary infused pork bellies while you lot help me choose a new mortar I'm thinking of a merc oh, money money money money money money money money money money money money and they licked their badges and farted into their tankards ah wonderful that's actually what happened Andy I've got no reason to disbelieve that But yeah, that's very good.

29:50I mean, Daniel Farker, I think, has got previous in getting Norwich up and then it all going to shit. So he's just the man for the job, I think, at Leeds. I think it's the way... I think ultimately, you know, somewhere down the line, they're going to have to start allowing some of the foreign shite-sters in, you know what I mean? It's inevitable. It's inevitable.

30:12Would you like a quiz at this point of proceedings? I'll always take one, Andy. Whether I enjoy it or not, we'll find out. Whether you thrive in it, we will see. Thrive or die. This quiz is called Doink Wallop Pens. Oh, yeah. Briefs, peanuts, pop, boing. Give me just a little more time. Boots. Boots. Okay. Now that we are entering the twisted and confusing world of the website Timu. Are you aware of it? I'm aware of it. Never visited it. Cheap shite. Cheap shite of all kinds. And this... It's random as fuck. You bought your new house off Timu, didn't you? Yeah, did I? Flat pack. Three items on Timu.

31:09Tell me price order, lowest to highest, or highest to lowest. We've got colouring pens. 80 coloured marker pens in a black bag. Okay. Got it. Ten men's breathable boxer briefs. It says casual and sporty underwear. That's ten. Maybe you've got a very sporty cut or something. Yeah. And finally, men's steel tore and puncture-proof work boots. Breathable, non-slip. With rotary buckle. Very descriptive of the Timo website. I think I'm going to be wrong here, but to me, the obvious thing is to say, boots, the most expensive, then the boxers, then the pens. I don't know. Boots, then boxers, then... Oh, you fucker.

32:02Have I got... Well, it's a bit obvious, isn't it? You've nailed it. Yes! You've nailed it. I like Timo. But tell me, how much are they, Andy? How much are they? Now that I look at it, it's pretty obvious. the boots £17.09 the boxer briefs £13.38 and the pens £11.16 it's not this cheap I thought you were going to say to me that the pens were like£30 the boxers were£1.50 well it doesn't sound that much cheaper than B &M or something that's Timo for you Perhaps it's just all a big lie. Don't know. Don't know. Do you like the traitors, Andy? I was going to just say, is there anything you've been watching?

32:52I couldn't get into traitors last time and I didn't even try this year. But then everyone was disappointed at the end. Everyone was like, oh, that was no good. Right on the last episode. Yeah, the last episode suffered, but it meant that the second from last episode was one of the best there's ever been. But the payoff was it ruined the last episode a bit. I like it very much I like it very much Here's what I've been watching recently If you're interested I want to see the Robbie Williams The Robbie Williams film is brilliant Where he is depicted by a chimpanzee For the entirety of it It's very good The Bob Dylan film as well Do you have to like Bob Dylan to enjoy that film?

33:33Not massively I don't think Do you not like Bob Dylan? You know I'm not bothered as it were Yeah Yeah. And also, one of my favourite ever police American shows, Homicide Life on the Street, is now being repeated in full on Sky Atlantic. That's from the early 90s. I saw you tweeted that. Now, it piqued my interest, Andy. Is it one of those that is like a continuing story, or is it just episodes where they solve something? It's episodic. There is a kind of a little bit of a thread going through it, but you can easily just watch one and dip in and out, And it's a different case in each episode, pretty much.

34:12All right, final question. Oh, sorry. Sorry, my final question was simply, is there a season that you should try if you wanted to dip in? Go from the beginning. It's go from the start. Okay. Yeah, go from the beginning. It's not like The Wire, is it? I thought The Wire was shit. It's the same guy who wrote the book that this was made into that then went on to do The Wire. it's miles better than The Wire. Thank you. The Wire's one of them where everyone's like, oh, The Wire. Oh, fucking hell, you've got to watch The Fucking Wire. And it's not that good. It's not that good. It's all right, but it's not that good.

34:48It's not as good as T.J. Hooker, which I've been watching repeats of with William Shatner. God, you are such a lazy fuck. Fat 1980s cop. It's on Saturday mornings. It's great. Anyway, I would like to end with a little song that I like to think will possibly be awareness raising. Is it uplifting or dreary? A bit of both. Okay. It's about the allergies that I'm increasingly suffering from. Go on. And I just thought I'd give you a bit of a musical insight into that, so here we go.

35:29I've got an allergy every day of the week and it's getting on my tits. On Wednesday I'm allergic to grass and on Friday it is chips. Monday's fucking hazelnuts, Tuesday's fucking bread. Thursday's beer and cream and pork, that's when I wish I was dead. There's no respite at weekends, that's when it hits me most. Saturday's allergy is biscuits and on Sunday it is toast. I've got an allergy every day of the week and I'm here with some advice. Don't get loads of allergies It's really not very nice Very good, Andy As you say, it's bittersweet Because it's not nice Yeah, it's not So we're recording this on Sunday And today's allergy is toast So I've just got to avoid it I thought it was going to be like One of those really clever things Where Sunday it was going to be the roast Which would have been double tragic Because of it being Sunday Fuck, it should have been, shouldn't it?

36:29It should have been Sorry, as you correctly pointed out there, it wasn't very clever. Never mind. Thank you, Parsonipers, for indulging us. I hope that was okay. Yeah, thanks, Parsonipers. We'll be back with more. Thank you for your support and see you next time. See you.

37:00Thank you.